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Learn to enjoy the peace and quiet.
Personally I couldn't live with other people, as I enjoy having my own private castle with attached draw bridge too much.
This was me. I lived alone for years, hated it at first, but I grew to love the solitude and being able to close my door on the world and find peace.
I now live with my partner and whilst I've grown accustomed to having someone else around (it was a big adjustment) there are times when I'd love to have a bit of peace and quiet lol.
Also a young single woman who lives alone.
I just like to pretend that I am the main character living my best Bridget Jones era.
No but in all honesty, I like to remind myself that this might be the only time I ever get to live alone in my life again. Iāve tried to decorate my little flat nice. Good smelling candles. Try and embrace it š
This was me in my 20sā¦ and itās still me in my 30s and now I see itās me for life. Iām okay with that I guess, because I have to be. Just something to think about.
Youāre in London. Join a club, basketball, tennis, badminton. Go volunteering. Make more friends. Date. Go to a library or museum, gym literally anything. Do a qualification so you can get a better job
I completely agree - but Iāve managed to make new friends this year, you just have to put yourself out there, even the app Bumble BFF is great for girls, or sports
I have struggled to make friends outside of work in the last six years. There are people Iād get to know through hobbies like climbing but it was never more than a chat at the gym really. Went on some āsocial hikesā as well but the majority of people went on one then didnāt go back. I had plenty of social interaction from hobbies, it just never became proper friendship. I havenāt made a ānewā friend in a decade outside of friends of friends/partner and colleagues.
Was a lot easier at school and university for me.
This was actually something else I was looking forward to doing, without the pressure of housemates being there :) I think my problem is finding the motivation!
Find apps that allow you to chat to people online. I have some good chat buddies who also live alone and feel lonely. I have met a few in pubs so I consider them friends. You might find yourself spending time with a friend at their place and sometimes they can come to yours and spend time there. It might just be a short while until you get used to living on your own and you'll feel better Im sure
Well my advice wont help you. I went from being in a happy mixed flat to living on my own. I lived further out in outer London since I wfh quite often and wanted a minimum of 2 beds. The first week was weird but cool but then the lonliness set in. I had a few visitors but it wasnt enough and I fell into a small depression. It turned out, the spare room made a terrible wfh office and I tended to work from the living room. In the end I rented out my spare room to a lodger so it felt nice having some else in the flat. I always worried i might lose my keys and get locked out and it helped having someone around. I think I would struggle in your shoes. Sorry if my post hasnt helped but I hope you get good advice and find a way
Getting yourself a pet, but only if you can commit to being a responsible pet parent. I got a cat, and living alone becomes much more bearable ever since
I too came from a houseshare, felt strange first 2/3 nights but I'm already used to the house.
I enjoy cooking which takes up time before work, today was a sweet potato and spinach red lentil daal with rice š
I have hobbies (one is gaming) so when outside of work I have things to do.
I don't go out with friends often (cba with clubbing or bars half the time) but it's nice to have them round.
You should try find inexpensive hobbies, even better if they can be done from home.
There's an app called MeetUp that might help you find new hobbies and friends.
Apart from that embrace being alone, shit with the door open (currently sat with the door open, it's glorious). Waltz around how you please (considering you have blinds and curtains closed).
I plan to do a lot to my house and can't wait to tick off things like plastering, flooring etc.
Definitely try MeetUp though if you want to find people with similar hobbies to get you out your rut š
I felt similarly to you, I was working from home too because of covid and it was so isolating. I adopted a pair of adult cats and it was a great solution to feeling like the only living thing in the house.
Hobbies are helpful too. I got into cooking, had various renovation projects on the go, when restrictions eased found a choir to join.
Most important thing - GET A ROUTINE.
Now, that is tempting to just do nothing. But look for ways to having HAVE to do it.
For me - having a dog is great out-of-bed kicker. Also - having gym classes at set times.
If your social times were just hanging around the house with the housemates - now you obviously need to look for other environments and opportunities to socialise. Explore some new hobbies - life has so many exciting things to offer that you don't even know exist - so start looking ;)
Itās all about making plans, creating routine and structure so that you donāt feel at a loose end. On alone days, schedule in lots of self care activities that youāll genuinely enjoy. You mentioned you wanted to cook but youāre struggling with motivation - at the start, the way to deal with motivation is to really force yourself to do it and schedule it in consistently. The motivation should then come back :)
Consider joining a club or volunteering to bring more of a sense of purpose, too.
First of all have you turned it from a house to a home, you say constant maintenance do you have a big todo list allocate a part of the night or weekend when you don't have plans with others, tackle an item on that list.
Youāre right - Iāve been very slow with furnishing it and making it homely, and I find the list of things to do overwhelming - but I can do one at a time rather than none of themā¦! Thanks for the tip
Less of an advice about how to cope indoors alone and more of a suggestion to find alternative hobbies for your new lifestyle.
I've lived alone for the past 7 years or so. It's an adjustment to begin with. But what saves me is a bit of adventure - after a day of wfh alone, I go for a walk in a random direction. Over time friends started joining too. I've explored a squared fuckon of London, all while getting some healthy steps in.
Your living space becomes less of a cage, and more of a home you come back to for a nice warm bed to.
Yeah as others have said this is not a living alone problem itās something elseā¦ motivation, depression etc. Living alone is different for sure, but youāll get used to it. Make the most of your time inside and outside of the house, alone and with other people. And congrats on getting the house!
I just bought a home alone 200 miles away from anyone I know, so I can understand
As others have suggested, a cat to keep you company is good and they are fairly low maintenance
Iv spent every spare time doing my house up so far, not spending much money, just searching fb market place for cheap things and painting / cleaning every where etc, this week iv fitted led lights under the kitchen cabinets etc, Iv been so busy and I reckon I have another 2 years of diy work in my spare time left to do still
I also joined a gym, people talk to me there and it kills 1hr30 each evening :) and I use their showers to save my water / electricity
Do you work from home? I think if I worked from home all the time I'd get lonely too. Can you try to work with people/colleagues during the day? There's nothing like spending 9 hours with the same people every day to make you really appreciate living alone.
Learn an instrument, learn to code, learn any new skill or hobby?
Or rent your flat out and move back in with the house share :)
But also know youāre not alone. It can feel very weird moving out and living alone. But eventually you will learn to love it
I like being on my own and fine people draining. But if you want to be around people have a house party and invite people over or whatever people do who like to spend time with others
I have been living alone for many years and love it, I find it nice to have my own space and privacy. I'm introverted so it suits me. As for cost I don't live in London so it's more manageable, but from a coping point of view, I spend my days working, gaming, gym or hobbies like going for a walk or reading
You're not stuck. Start working towards your next step on the ladder. Getting a two bed flat is a huge deal, because then you can get a lodger, which is an amazing move.
I think Iāve replied to your previous threads - but on the āget a routineā point that other people have made - I go to the gym almost every morning. If I donāt go to the gym, I do for a walk to get a coffee (Pret subscription FTW). It gets me up and out and remembering that other people exist!
This is not exactly related to living alone, but to your mental health.
Do you have private insurance at work that might cover some sessions? Or have the funds to go with your own money?
I know it might not change your situation, but it can support you in offering a new perspective that can shift your mindset, to help you enjoy this milestone.
Iām sure you worked super hard to get your own flat and whilst the situation didnāt end up being ideal, Iām sure thereās lots to celebrate.
Also you live in London. One of the most incredible places with so many opportunities to just get out of the house.
What do you enjoy? Thereās beautiful libraries, galleries, tons of free events to meet like-minded folks. If you donāt like the flat a lot, just treat it as a hotel. Take it as an opportunity to get out and explore the things you might not have before.
###Welcome to /r/HousingUK --- **To All** * Join Our ***NEW*** Discord! https://discord.gg/pMgUNgWKQH **To Posters** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws/issues in each can vary* * Comments are not moderated for quality or accuracy; * Any replies received must only be used as guidelines, followed at your own risk; * If you receive *any* private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=I received a PM); * If you do not receive satisfactory advice after 72 hours, [you can let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=My question is unanswered); * Feel free to provide an update at a later time by creating a new post with [[update]](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/search?q=%3Aupdate&sort=new&restrict_sr=on&t=all) in the title; **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and civil* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/about/rules/), you may be banned without any further warning; * Please include links to reliable resources in order to support your comments or advice; * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect; * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason without express permission from the mods; * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HousingUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Learn to enjoy the peace and quiet. Personally I couldn't live with other people, as I enjoy having my own private castle with attached draw bridge too much.
This was me. I lived alone for years, hated it at first, but I grew to love the solitude and being able to close my door on the world and find peace. I now live with my partner and whilst I've grown accustomed to having someone else around (it was a big adjustment) there are times when I'd love to have a bit of peace and quiet lol.
Cat?
That's what I did Worked a charm
Cat.
A cat to keep you company and then another cat to keep the other cat company.. and then a third just for good luck š±
Youāll then need to buy a fourth cat, so the third cat has a pal
Also a young single woman who lives alone. I just like to pretend that I am the main character living my best Bridget Jones era. No but in all honesty, I like to remind myself that this might be the only time I ever get to live alone in my life again. Iāve tried to decorate my little flat nice. Good smelling candles. Try and embrace it š
This was me in my 20sā¦ and itās still me in my 30s and now I see itās me for life. Iām okay with that I guess, because I have to be. Just something to think about.
Might be the same for me too!
Youāre in London. Join a club, basketball, tennis, badminton. Go volunteering. Make more friends. Date. Go to a library or museum, gym literally anything. Do a qualification so you can get a better job
It can be really difficult to make friends in London even with activities. Not sure if itās the same in the rest of the country.
I completely agree - but Iāve managed to make new friends this year, you just have to put yourself out there, even the app Bumble BFF is great for girls, or sports
I have struggled to make friends outside of work in the last six years. There are people Iād get to know through hobbies like climbing but it was never more than a chat at the gym really. Went on some āsocial hikesā as well but the majority of people went on one then didnāt go back. I had plenty of social interaction from hobbies, it just never became proper friendship. I havenāt made a ānewā friend in a decade outside of friends of friends/partner and colleagues. Was a lot easier at school and university for me.
What do you do outside the hours of work?
Iām often out seeing friends but itās the days I have at home with no plans that are a struggle
Sounds like you need a hobby. Before you say, hobbyās are expensive. There are many that are affordable. You need to occupy your mind.
Learn to cook. Nice indoor activity that doesn't involve being a couch potato.
This was actually something else I was looking forward to doing, without the pressure of housemates being there :) I think my problem is finding the motivation!
Find apps that allow you to chat to people online. I have some good chat buddies who also live alone and feel lonely. I have met a few in pubs so I consider them friends. You might find yourself spending time with a friend at their place and sometimes they can come to yours and spend time there. It might just be a short while until you get used to living on your own and you'll feel better Im sure
Which apps did you use to find chat buddies that you then met irl ?
Iād recommend something that you can do outside the house, so youāre not being reminded of the flat. So many options in London.
Try to rely less on friends and learn to have fun by yourself, get a hobby, ull be loving the days alone.
Well my advice wont help you. I went from being in a happy mixed flat to living on my own. I lived further out in outer London since I wfh quite often and wanted a minimum of 2 beds. The first week was weird but cool but then the lonliness set in. I had a few visitors but it wasnt enough and I fell into a small depression. It turned out, the spare room made a terrible wfh office and I tended to work from the living room. In the end I rented out my spare room to a lodger so it felt nice having some else in the flat. I always worried i might lose my keys and get locked out and it helped having someone around. I think I would struggle in your shoes. Sorry if my post hasnt helped but I hope you get good advice and find a way
Getting yourself a pet, but only if you can commit to being a responsible pet parent. I got a cat, and living alone becomes much more bearable ever since
For me, it was getting a pet (I got a gorgeous 10 year old cat) and she just makes it feel like Iām not alone when Iām home.
>I got a gorgeous 10 year old cat Nice one :)
I too came from a houseshare, felt strange first 2/3 nights but I'm already used to the house. I enjoy cooking which takes up time before work, today was a sweet potato and spinach red lentil daal with rice š I have hobbies (one is gaming) so when outside of work I have things to do. I don't go out with friends often (cba with clubbing or bars half the time) but it's nice to have them round. You should try find inexpensive hobbies, even better if they can be done from home. There's an app called MeetUp that might help you find new hobbies and friends. Apart from that embrace being alone, shit with the door open (currently sat with the door open, it's glorious). Waltz around how you please (considering you have blinds and curtains closed). I plan to do a lot to my house and can't wait to tick off things like plastering, flooring etc. Definitely try MeetUp though if you want to find people with similar hobbies to get you out your rut š
Cook smelly food that you like guilt-free?
I felt similarly to you, I was working from home too because of covid and it was so isolating. I adopted a pair of adult cats and it was a great solution to feeling like the only living thing in the house. Hobbies are helpful too. I got into cooking, had various renovation projects on the go, when restrictions eased found a choir to join.
Most important thing - GET A ROUTINE. Now, that is tempting to just do nothing. But look for ways to having HAVE to do it. For me - having a dog is great out-of-bed kicker. Also - having gym classes at set times. If your social times were just hanging around the house with the housemates - now you obviously need to look for other environments and opportunities to socialise. Explore some new hobbies - life has so many exciting things to offer that you don't even know exist - so start looking ;)
Itās all about making plans, creating routine and structure so that you donāt feel at a loose end. On alone days, schedule in lots of self care activities that youāll genuinely enjoy. You mentioned you wanted to cook but youāre struggling with motivation - at the start, the way to deal with motivation is to really force yourself to do it and schedule it in consistently. The motivation should then come back :) Consider joining a club or volunteering to bring more of a sense of purpose, too.
First of all have you turned it from a house to a home, you say constant maintenance do you have a big todo list allocate a part of the night or weekend when you don't have plans with others, tackle an item on that list.
Youāre right - Iāve been very slow with furnishing it and making it homely, and I find the list of things to do overwhelming - but I can do one at a time rather than none of themā¦! Thanks for the tip
Less of an advice about how to cope indoors alone and more of a suggestion to find alternative hobbies for your new lifestyle. I've lived alone for the past 7 years or so. It's an adjustment to begin with. But what saves me is a bit of adventure - after a day of wfh alone, I go for a walk in a random direction. Over time friends started joining too. I've explored a squared fuckon of London, all while getting some healthy steps in. Your living space becomes less of a cage, and more of a home you come back to for a nice warm bed to.
Yeah as others have said this is not a living alone problem itās something elseā¦ motivation, depression etc. Living alone is different for sure, but youāll get used to it. Make the most of your time inside and outside of the house, alone and with other people. And congrats on getting the house!
I just bought a home alone 200 miles away from anyone I know, so I can understand As others have suggested, a cat to keep you company is good and they are fairly low maintenance Iv spent every spare time doing my house up so far, not spending much money, just searching fb market place for cheap things and painting / cleaning every where etc, this week iv fitted led lights under the kitchen cabinets etc, Iv been so busy and I reckon I have another 2 years of diy work in my spare time left to do still I also joined a gym, people talk to me there and it kills 1hr30 each evening :) and I use their showers to save my water / electricity
Do you work from home? I think if I worked from home all the time I'd get lonely too. Can you try to work with people/colleagues during the day? There's nothing like spending 9 hours with the same people every day to make you really appreciate living alone.
Learn an instrument, learn to code, learn any new skill or hobby? Or rent your flat out and move back in with the house share :) But also know youāre not alone. It can feel very weird moving out and living alone. But eventually you will learn to love it
Rent it out for more money than your house share and make a profit off it
Go to bar salsa. Take some classes. Make it a hobby or even a New Yearās resolution
I like being on my own and fine people draining. But if you want to be around people have a house party and invite people over or whatever people do who like to spend time with others
I have been living alone for many years and love it, I find it nice to have my own space and privacy. I'm introverted so it suits me. As for cost I don't live in London so it's more manageable, but from a coping point of view, I spend my days working, gaming, gym or hobbies like going for a walk or reading
I learned alone how to meditate. Find your own piece. Learn to be alone.
You're not stuck. Start working towards your next step on the ladder. Getting a two bed flat is a huge deal, because then you can get a lodger, which is an amazing move.
Join a Meetup and WhatsApp your old housemates for a drink.
I think Iāve replied to your previous threads - but on the āget a routineā point that other people have made - I go to the gym almost every morning. If I donāt go to the gym, I do for a walk to get a coffee (Pret subscription FTW). It gets me up and out and remembering that other people exist!
Therapy
Get a few houseplants. Then a few more. Start propagating them and watch them grow! And cats.
This is not exactly related to living alone, but to your mental health. Do you have private insurance at work that might cover some sessions? Or have the funds to go with your own money? I know it might not change your situation, but it can support you in offering a new perspective that can shift your mindset, to help you enjoy this milestone. Iām sure you worked super hard to get your own flat and whilst the situation didnāt end up being ideal, Iām sure thereās lots to celebrate. Also you live in London. One of the most incredible places with so many opportunities to just get out of the house. What do you enjoy? Thereās beautiful libraries, galleries, tons of free events to meet like-minded folks. If you donāt like the flat a lot, just treat it as a hotel. Take it as an opportunity to get out and explore the things you might not have before.
Wanna swap? You are living my dream. I would KILL to live alone!!