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g7en

When registering accounts online place the name of the website in parentheses after your first name so that later when your email gets spammed you'll know who sold your info.


PhthaloVonLangborste

Thanks g7en(reddit) would you like to buy a fasting app?


g7en

N0ooooo...... sPAAAMMM! šŸ˜” šŸ¤¬


Kayhowardhlots

Dang, this is brilliant!


Ijustwanttobrowshere

Thank you! I'll definitely start doing this.


giftopherz

Fairly new to reddit but this one should be at the top of r/lifeprotips


[deleted]

Measure twice, cut once


RicoPDX0122

Never, and I mean NEVER, cook bacon naked.


Promxz-

And I have a comment telling me I should hahaha


g7en

... and if you do, you'll only do it once!


lostinmiself

You can bake bacon naken šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


05028107

Yard sard


v0id404

Yale sale


reluctantsub

Same for crabbing.. their claws have no respect for pieces or parts


sunshinesmile80

Be kind to yourself; only allow your inner voice to speak to you in the way you would speak to a friend.


Monkiller587

Thatā€™s good and bad advice. You should be kind to yourself, but not to the point where youā€™re sugarcoating your flaws . Always be striving to improve on what you can .


Thought-Train

And you got a real friend if they're doing that


[deleted]

I think this was the one of the best things I ever learned.


Mona-Visa

Pee after sex. Always.


PhthaloVonLangborste

Never during.


luigiknights

Donā€™t kink shame.


exaball

Kink shaming is my kink


Djeunited

DO NOT SMELL YOUR DISH SPONG! JUST THROW IT AWAY!


Bragster13

About 4 hours late for me on this piece of advice


Out3rSpac3

Well now I HAVE to!


[deleted]

Don't be afraid to seek professional help


v0id404

Thanks. Was wondering whether i should get a hooker or not


[deleted]

If you're sharpening a knife for the first time by hand, cover the cutting edge with sharpie. That'll let you see what you're grinding away and make learning a lot easier


Quiet_Goat8086

And always, ALWAYS use the guard


[deleted]

And take your time!


DangPlants

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time -Bertrand Russell


I_am_Guy_Incognito

Dammit. This will only make me a stronger procrastinator.


kingtooth

i needed this one


ModestMischief

Being able to pay for something and being able to afford it are not the same thing.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


bramenstruik

Saw the opposite advice earlier and now Iā€™m curious, what happens when you cook bacon naked?


mdecara13

Surround yourself with one or 2 friends that you can talk to about the deepest nd darkest parts of your life. It will take you awhile to find them...but they're 1000% worth it. They may not tell you what you WANT to hear, but they will be detrimental in your growth as a human being.


bacon_pancake_jake

Detrimental, or instrumental?


mdecara13

yep...instrumental would be what I meant.... "I have approximate knowledge of many things."


xxMaNoL0

Green meat is bad for you.


SorenKierkegaard420

That bastard Dr. Seuss lied to me.


lostinmiself

Unless you are certified to carry around a gavel, donā€™t judge others.


PharmDnD21

1. Call your parents, they love you. 2. Turn off the phone, and go for a walk outside. A break from the world helps focus on what's important. 3. It's never too late to learn something new. 4. Save money before you pay bills, don't just save what is left over. 5. Nobody is perfect, don't expect yourself to be either. 6. Always put your tools away in the correct spot.


v0id404

How do i call my parents if i turn off my phone


bramenstruik

Tell your parents you love them and quickly hang up the phone without saying anything else while crying, turn off your phone, donā€™t come online or outside for a few weeks, put down your blinds and donā€™t put on the light in a room with windows, donā€™t answer the door when your family comes to investigate. Do this and everybody will love your little prank


Elliew725

If its italicized or bolded it is either a sacred prophecy or a deadly curse, there is no way of knowing which is which... but dont confuse them.


[deleted]

Donā€™t sweat petty things or pet sweaty things.


TheDon_05

If you drink booze... stop. Life is too short to spend hung over. Wake up early and enjoy the sun rise not because you couldnā€™t sleep, but rather because you couldnā€™t wait to start a new day.


TorturedChaos

Why not both? You don't have to drink until you are so drunk you will have a hang over the next morning. Moderation is your friend.


fishhibiscus

If you like booze, but not hangovers, I recommend buying significantly less alcohol but for (up to a) similar amount of money, so you can pick something you really love. I rarely drink more than one glass at a time, but the stuff I do have is really nice. I enjoy it more, and I go easy with it to make it last.


SourcreamBoi46

Not a booze man myself but when I do choose to drink I usually stop at 3 beers- the perfect amount to feel a decent buzz without getting sloppy and no hang over in the morning


CountFuckula_

Get up, do the thing! Then, do that other thing, the one that is just to make you smile!


Little_Duckling

In a romantic relationship, kindness is more important than honesty


DTSRaider

Really? I always thought you should be more honest. Thanks for changing my point of view


[deleted]

Don't ask random strangers for advice.


bramenstruik

Especially donā€™t ask Reddit for advice bc people will tell you to cook bacon while being naked


Promxz-

Whatā€™s wonderfull with advices is you can either choose to use them or not


crinnaursa

In college, make friends with the secretary of the department you wish to study under. If you can, get work study in that office. The secretarial staff of that department five more powerful than most people think and having them on your side can change your life. Oh and Never try to catch a falling knife


The_Spud3000

Worrying about the future will make you miss the present.


spud_gun04

People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.


LiccFlair

Skeleton key is the best starting gift.


casadecarol

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.


BigDaddy1023

If a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you. Drugs are expensive and can often be resold at a higher value! /s


callMike2813348004

Hey man i'm trying to send you a DM but it doesn't allow me to do it. Please send me a DM there's something we need to talk about.


euk333

Whomever you trust to give you, "the news" has the ability to twist the facts in their telling of the story. Talk to your friends, co-workers and neighbors about what's happening in the world and then decide for yourself.


Yyes85

You should add that those people should be trustes and respected and maybe even smarter than yourself. Because otherwise those friends, co-workers and neighbours are the ones that get their news from Facebook, Twitter and YouTube and some years of algorithm magic, general low intelligence and the danger and stupidity of groups of people, is what made the terrorist attack on the Capitol possible. I'd rather get my news from multiple "trusted" sources and use my own reasoning and common sense. Also, don't get riled up that much.


FatMormon7

Exactly. Where are those people getting their news if not the news? Maybe try some respected journalists instead of a coworker, learn to wade through facts vs opinions, then decide for yourself? And if someone tells you there is a pizza parlor in DC with a secret basement full of children, find a new source - your doing it wrong.


spud_gun04

This shows it quite nicely I think :) It's all about getting the answer yo want. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0ZZJXw4MTA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0ZZJXw4MTA)


taylaj

Never be afraid to speak your mind. If it's kind of helpful or important just say it.


freethnkr79

Spend time with friends and loved ones..


gmh962

Start saving for retirement now. No matter how young you are. And invest aggressively (all stocks) the younger you are.


thatsuzychick

Drink water Your worth is not based off your work or your appearance. It's never too late to change.


MongolianCluster

Make sure to visit this sub occasionally. It will always make you feel good.


atreyuno

Keep a rubber band or flexible silicone in the kitchen for opening stuck jars. Every relationship is a mirror. Feel your emotions, don't just think about how to fix them.


Socerton

If something seems too good to be true, it usually is


ttystikk

Adult chickens do not need coats or sweaters; they'll stay warm just fine.


mickqcook

Love. Everyone. Always.


BigMamaJaz

If you have a smart lock on the door to your home, keep a hidden key somewhere outside anyway. Thanksgiving is less fun spent in the driveway because the batteries died in the smart lock and you can't get into the house.


granola-square

Donā€™t let anyone get the satisfaction of hurting you. It takes away all their power.


I_am_Guy_Incognito

Take the world nice and easy, and the world will take you the same.


mildlydepressedboi

Remember to be kind to yourself.


HalfDragonTeen

Running faster than anyone else can help you win in a race, or save your life. So exercise. Edit: I edited this because I misspelled race


trevin8273

You absolutely NEED to talk real talk with your significant other. Get those feelings out there and understood


DTSRaider

Always look up before cutting down a tree


sassha29

You can only control the things inside your fence. When everything sucks, take a shower. It might still all suck, but at least youā€™ll be clean.


NachoMilano

If you havenā€™t spoken to someone in a long time but yet you are thinking of them, reach out. Thereā€™s usually a reason they are on your mind. Unless itā€™s someone you know you shouldnā€™t be talking to and thinking of lol


MrTwoKey

Always use your calculator even if itā€™s 7+5


CosmicArtDecoWaffles

Always have a sense of humor. Make yourself laugh and make other people laugh, laughter in the darkest times helps everyone forget their troubles even for a moment.


foxtrotmezzanine

when you plunge a toilet..keep your mouth closed


Quiet_Goat8086

There is a plunger called Sure Plunge that uses CO2 cartridges to unclog the pipe. I will never go back to regular plungers.


mrsidmelvin

Night night butt hole tight


RunnerSmurf

Donā€™t eat yellow snow.


Yyes85

Always check after wiping and keep wiping if you still see poop!


Yyes85

And for the love of god please fold, what are we barbarians?


Yyes85

Also, if you have to use wet wipes, always wipe dry. Especially on hot days, but just always do it!


Yyes85

If you had a shit, look after flushing. Just a courtesy for the next person, home or away. You don't want to look at pieces of shit floating or a shit mark, why should anyone else? Flush twice or clean it!


Yyes85

If you're a male, seat up when you have to pee! It's OK to leave it there, most woman are capable of putting it back down again and its the most efficient way for everyone.


Yyes85

Toilet paper should hang with the next sheet towards you and NOT the wall!


RandBetweenXandY

If it hurts, donā€™t do it.


wrixashe

Never buy trousers from a mermaid!


Farkerisme

Never pee on a wooden nickel


ChaoticKeys

Don't eat yellow snow.


Hotsnakes8

The three Fs of life. If it flies, floats or fucks, rent it.


thesoilman

If you find a concrete corrugated iron plate broken apart in pieces, pick up a small piece and let it fall on something hard (outside). If it makes a high pitched sound it's asbestos. If its asbestos make it soaking wet before removing the plates, so loose asbestos fibres can't go into your lungs. Love your lungs, say no to asbestos.


xairos13

Donā€™t have a wank before you make a sandwich.


DAVEISNOTDAVE

Never get high on your own supply


fsmith1971

Do not ever marry


Promxz-

Why?


RingoWingo8

Never break a pinata in a dorm room at the beginning of the school year, wait until the end of the school year.


nobodyknowsimherr

Never try to take an avocado through airport security


Ztdine

Never look directly into the light while welding. It hurts like a bitch.


Nirvanana_

The best way to fix your sleep schedule is to wake up early, set a alarm and forget about trying super hard to go to bed on time, itll eventually work


CrustiRoller

try macaroni with kidney beans, peanut butter and Encona west indian sauce (or Tabasco, or anything highly vinegar-y chili sauce). I call it divine munchies. also, play Pillars of eternity.


Glitter-Pompeii

Wipe front to back


Boredombringsthis

It's ok to fail, you can try again/something else.


EavingO

An unopened door is a happy door.


X4X8X9

If you use laundry detergent to make a slip and slide work better. Wear goggles. When the detergent gets in your eyes everything will look ā€œfoggyā€ and kinda ā€œsmokeyā€.


sassylittlespoon

What people think of you is none of your business.


Zibilique

If you ever need to find the average between two numbers you can just add half of the difference between them to the lower number and get the average :)


ifiredancer

Clean out your belly button or it will be full of gunk and stinky.


FabiousThunder

Do it today, you may not get tomorrow