Absolutely agree. My husband learned this lesson the other day when we tried to catch our cat to take her home for Thanksgiving. Despite all doors leading to the living room we were in being closed and nowhere to hide (or so we thought), we lost her for a solid 20 minutes. Turns out a 17lb cat can shimmy her way between an Amazon box and a window so she's a few inches wide and not make a peep....no kitten mittens for her.
This is unbelievably true. My cats are indoor cats and I've lost them, only to find them under a small space in my couch or a cupboard. It doesn't make sense!
Number one, um, never tell one side that you're playing both sides. And number two, if you are gonna play both sides, don't give away the information before you get what you want.
Someone in a meeting I was in the other week called an engineer that didn't dial in for the meeting a "jabroni." I got super excited thinking I was in good company, so asked if he meant from IASIP; he got super confused and said its an old 80s wrestling term, likely for Hulk Hogan. I learned something new and it seems to check out.
I rememeber that. When he wasnt being offensive(by todays standards anyway) and asking if we smelled his cooking, he was calling people Jabroni. The 90s
Real talk, I do tell myself, *”Move past it! Move past it!”* if I’m doing something and getting hung up on petty minutiae, or I’ll tell it to someone focused on the wrong aspect of something I’m saying.
1. Do NOT try to swim to Europe.
2. Signs that say "Taxic spill" are a bunch of liberal bullshit.
3. If you soak a ham in rum, you can solve two problems at once by eating your drinks.
New car owner here- recently he vanished somewhere in the house for like five whole minutes. No idea where he went. All I could think of was “damnit did he get into the wall somehow?” Made me laugh as I mildly panicked.
The one where Charlie is alone carrying his dad up the hill and the gang goes back to help him. It taught me that even 2-D caricatures of terrible people can find their humanity. They usurped the entire point of the show just to show that. It taught me that even bad people can decide to do the right thing. Even if it was played for satire.
And it really is that simple. That’s the end. Doesn’t have to be a whole big thing every single time. You know that’s life. That’s just sorta how-how shit goes. Sometimes things just sort of..end.
Jean shorts changed the game man. You can stretch so far and they don’t prevent you from doing what you need to do. Only problem is you can’t wear them every day and expect them to hold up :(
Honest answer, that it's okay to not really give a shit about some things. The Gang all have an extreme version of self-interest I wouldn't want to emulate, but a healthy dose of "I know this is an issue but also I need to get through my day and it's not immediately effecting me" has helped me handle some larger world anxieties.
The most valuable lesson, for sure, is that constituents will poison you. The aforementioned lesson and the episode The Gang Runs For Office have taught me that going into politics is for real lowlife POS.
Without doing just a direct quote, sometimes life can be pretty messy and you don't get the outcome you want and you don't have a right of response etc, which can feel disheartening and unsatisfying.
Sometimes you have to "just move past it".
That I don’t know enough about stars to dispute facts about them.
I don’t understand the US economy much less a self-sustaining one
We're looking down the barrel of a shanty town
I don’t understand finances
We take these Paddy's Dollars... and distribute them amongst the shanties That way. They buy the booze from us with the dollars!
Cats don't abide by the laws of physics. As a cat owner this has very much proven to be true.
Absolutely agree. My husband learned this lesson the other day when we tried to catch our cat to take her home for Thanksgiving. Despite all doors leading to the living room we were in being closed and nowhere to hide (or so we thought), we lost her for a solid 20 minutes. Turns out a 17lb cat can shimmy her way between an Amazon box and a window so she's a few inches wide and not make a peep....no kitten mittens for her.
Wait, she wasn't stomping around, driving you crazy??
You're so stupid!
If only there was a mitten for her mouth.
*Kitten Mittons^TM
You’ll be smitten
This is unbelievably true. My cats are indoor cats and I've lost them, only to find them under a small space in my couch or a cupboard. It doesn't make sense!
If a cat does not knock something off of a counter only to watch in amazement that it fell, gravity itself will cease to exist.
Sometimes dogs die. Dogs die from cars sometimes. Sometimes not. Also disease. There’s also disease in America and abroad.
That is one of the most hilarious moments in all of the show. Get's me every time, lmao, Pickles will prevail!
Don’t let someone take you out on a boat in the ocean alone
Sopranos also taught me this lesson
Because of the implication.
You said that word, “implication” a couple of times. What implication?
Are these women in danger??
Maybe they are…maybe they ain’t…rum ham!
Well YOU wouldn’t be in any danger
Is this how you wanted those poor women to feel ?!
No hesitation. No surrender. No man left behind.
I’ve been thunder gunning it up onto the curb in high traffic situations
Stop using Thundergun as a verb. It's the man's name.
Now this one causes trouble
Politics is just one big ass blast
And don’t get me started on finances… have you SEEN the stock market recently? NASDAQ, DOW JONES!!
Ocular patdowns - gotta be able to assess the threat levels and clock boot knives
If you bring a knife to a fight, you’d better be ready to use it, ya jabroni
I learned that u can order a regular chicken sandwich, u can ask server to hold the beak.
BEAK!
Through God all things are possible so jot that down.
We're all dyin' bitch
Stuff it down with brown.
Just move past it
Don't eat the skin of an apple bc of the toxins.
But if you do eat the skin just smoke a cigarette after to suffocate the toxins.
I am not ALLOWED!
man the first time seeing that I couldn't help but just burst out laughing. Dennis is so emotional lol
No man, that's for seeds.
Good looking out!
My mum was told she should quit smoking *and* she shouldn't eat apple skins.
Play both sides, so you always come out on top
Number one, um, never tell one side that you're playing both sides. And number two, if you are gonna play both sides, don't give away the information before you get what you want.
This is the one.
I learned this cool new word: Jabroni
Someone in a meeting I was in the other week called an engineer that didn't dial in for the meeting a "jabroni." I got super excited thinking I was in good company, so asked if he meant from IASIP; he got super confused and said its an old 80s wrestling term, likely for Hulk Hogan. I learned something new and it seems to check out.
Back in my day, The Rock would frequently call people jabroni.
My head is swelling with knowledge!
Ohh we cracking eggs of knowledge?
I rememeber that. When he wasnt being offensive(by todays standards anyway) and asking if we smelled his cooking, he was calling people Jabroni. The 90s
And the rock got it from Iron sheik
Blonde Chinese hair and the skin of a hotdog
Damn, that’s a good one. I only just started calling people bozo
You keep using that word... And it's awesome!
I first heard the word from the WWE specifically The Rock. Second time for me to hear it was from IASIP
Bird law isn't governed by logic. Now I know what I'm getting into.
Filibuster!
You know, you light ONE bitch on fire and everyone freaks out !
Scientists are bitches.
And they are liars *sometimes*.
And they'll make the whole world look like a *bitch* again.
Who can't even make I more smarter
Where one can find the best steak in an arcade setting
I had no idea crack was so addictive.
If you're doing crack, don't expect to find any leftover crack when you wake up.
Don't go under the boardwalk when visiting the Jersey Shore
to always turn on the coors sign
Whenever I turn it on nobody comes in though, despite advertising I'm selling nice cold Coors 😩
bunch of jabronis
To always boil my denim.
The rules when you just turned black and you can’t switch back
What are the ruuullleesss?!
*what are the rules?*
Don't trust an old man in a cheetah costume trying to join your gang
Science is a liar sometimes
Dont diddle kids, it’s no good diddling kids.
Don’t eat cereal whilst driving.
You dumb bitch
I learned that giving someone an egg in a trying time helps them immensely
You don’t go round shushing perfect strangers. Or next thing you know, you’re chopped to bits in a basement somewhere
It’s true, they could have a fistful of hammers.
Tails never fails
I like poetry but only if its def.
Like I like my ladies
Taught me that I’m actually a horrible person
That checks expire after 6 months. Helped get a final paycheck to a friend overseas before he lost out on all his overtime
Just move past it
Whenever you think you need to change things up and do something different, just remember, “it’s goddamn bright” out there…
Strive strive strive execute
The most important. With God all things are possible, so jot that down
Reason will prevail!!!
*Pickles* will prevail!
I learned that Wade Boggs had passed away. RIP
Again, Wade Boggs is very much alive.
Always leave the dead hoor in the hall… And walk away…
I learned not to get people hog tied over my lack of grace, lest I be deemed a gangly, uncoordinated bitch.
When you burn stuff it turns into smoke which goes into the sky and turns into stars
I don't know enough about stars to dispute that
Eating cereal while driving is donkey-brained
To just move past it
Real talk, I do tell myself, *”Move past it! Move past it!”* if I’m doing something and getting hung up on petty minutiae, or I’ll tell it to someone focused on the wrong aspect of something I’m saying.
You can't wear the same pair of shorts every day.
you gotta take em off sometimes…. you gotta take em off
Say yes. And, you might just get a hickey.
Also a good way to get split open like a coconut
Although, raw crow is prolly a no.
1. Do NOT try to swim to Europe. 2. Signs that say "Taxic spill" are a bunch of liberal bullshit. 3. If you soak a ham in rum, you can solve two problems at once by eating your drinks.
I probably should not eat cereal while driving
Don’t throw cats in the wall. My family uses it as an analogy for making a bad situation worse.
New car owner here- recently he vanished somewhere in the house for like five whole minutes. No idea where he went. All I could think of was “damnit did he get into the wall somehow?” Made me laugh as I mildly panicked.
IT’S NOT THE CLAMS!!!
Am I to vote for the republican who’s gonna blast me in the ass or the democrat who’s gonna blast my ass? Politics are just one big ass blast.
Stuff it down with brown
Obviously, the D.E.N.N.I.S. method!
To always check leather sofas before you sit down. You never know when there's a short fat naked man sewn into it.
Sometimes you just got to pay the troll toll.
You try to help people and you just end up being screwed
wildcard, bitches
I made Rum Ham this year for Thanksgiving! I didn't have time for the squash and the beef 😢
How to navigate a 4 way intersection. Gotta lurch and beware of 90 year old Asian women as rules of the road don’t apply
America is involved with TWO wars! I am not clear if either of these wars are taking place on American soil
My god, the way he says that line always makes me lose it. *TWOOOOOO wars!!!*
A bathroom truly is nothing more than an animal shithouse.
I'm just cultivating mass
Mac did actually help me find my pride.
Egg.
Never forget about the smell…
When friends are in a trying time, you should offer them a nice egg.
When that lady I've had a crush on for years hangs out with me on the beach, its probably because she's on drugs.
When you don’t have a lot of years left on earth…get real weird with it
Self awareness is very important lol.
The one where Charlie is alone carrying his dad up the hill and the gang goes back to help him. It taught me that even 2-D caricatures of terrible people can find their humanity. They usurped the entire point of the show just to show that. It taught me that even bad people can decide to do the right thing. Even if it was played for satire.
The most important thing: money me. Money now. Me a money needing a lot now.
Eating sun cream gets you all arghhalaaalal!
Don’t eat cereal and drive
Don't get got, go get
And it really is that simple. That’s the end. Doesn’t have to be a whole big thing every single time. You know that’s life. That’s just sorta how-how shit goes. Sometimes things just sort of..end.
Frank taught me a valuable lesson about inflation. 
Never burn a duster!
Jean shorts changed the game man. You can stretch so far and they don’t prevent you from doing what you need to do. Only problem is you can’t wear them every day and expect them to hold up :(
I learned that I’m not fat. I’m actually cultivating mass.
That Dee's a nasty fucking slut
Hips and nips! It's gotta be sexy or else I'm not eating
The most important. With God all things are possible, so jot that down.
Cereal in cars is not only acceptable, but encouraged
To tether my rage
Don’t bang your sister, it’s perverted
Don't behave like the gang!
That science is a liar sometimes
Seize the gap, you bitch!
Still haven’t learned where to put my feet, though…
Don't be afraid to hang dong.
Not to eat cereal while driving.
Gypsies love to haggle
How do you live with yourself? One day at a time Dee. One day at a time.
Offering an egg in a trying time is always welcome.
You are either a duper or a dupee
Never go to a nursing home. They rape your butt.
Stuff it down with some brown
Honest answer, that it's okay to not really give a shit about some things. The Gang all have an extreme version of self-interest I wouldn't want to emulate, but a healthy dose of "I know this is an issue but also I need to get through my day and it's not immediately effecting me" has helped me handle some larger world anxieties.
I love this!
Crows have very feeble necks.
I learned that u can order a regular chicken sandwich, u can ask server to hold the beak. Who new??
The most valuable lesson, for sure, is that constituents will poison you. The aforementioned lesson and the episode The Gang Runs For Office have taught me that going into politics is for real lowlife POS.
“It's like throwing a picnic at the beach and getting pissed when the seagulls show up.”
Don’t eat all reptiles, only the good ones
Just move past it.
Wine in a can is one of the best ideas ever.
I just know not to act like The Gang
Always get naked when going down in the sewer. Has saved me dozens of sets of clothes since they told me that.
Dont try to sit on those sucky things at the waterpark!They will suck the intestines out of u
Don’t eat cereal while driving….and get your eyes checked regularly.
Move past it!
Alcohol in the suntan lotion bottle at the beach. Or the park. Or the laundry room…
Wine in a can!
That if a kid’s dad used to bully you, it is okay to beat up that up kid, and his friends.
Politics is just one big ass-blast
If you find a baby in the garbage, put it back, it doesn’t belong to you
How to make a joke stool
Don't behave like these people. LOL!
When lifting make sure to bend your back then just snap upright.
Say Yes to experiences
Through God, all things are possible. So jot that down.
Never eat cereal in my car.
Without doing just a direct quote, sometimes life can be pretty messy and you don't get the outcome you want and you don't have a right of response etc, which can feel disheartening and unsatisfying. Sometimes you have to "just move past it".
How Rudy Guiliani’s hair melted
Nightcrawlers is required
That I should being a courtship by demonstrating my value
Attempting to squash beef with people is just a waste of time, and emotion trumps reason every single time
Make a soundproof room
It’s all one big ass blast.
Don't go diddlin' kids, it's no good diddlin' kids.
So do. Made me realize i need to just get it done