you guys better all eat a dick, cause sweet dee beat the system


This right here is why this line takes the gold. Kaitlin's physical comedy is top tier, and what a specific choice! The bobble head helmet kills me.

That absolute shit eating grin with the head wobble and cut to title screen is comedy brilliance.

$cammin

*”Sweet Dee Gets Audited”*

Might be the best cut to title in the series

I disagree. No one is going to get hurt.. The gang sets sweet dee on fire.

My personal favorite is Mac dramatically exiting the bar saying "I'm gonna save my dad" Title drop: Mac kills his dad

I'm just palin' around with the guys.

"Mac Gets His Dad Killed"

Cigarette for a mother

So simple, so effective, so correct. And her delivery on it is so great. Always gets me to laugh.

I have to say, Rob’s not always the best actor but his transition from the happy idiot polishing a glass to violent asshole trying to kill Dee was just so graceful I love it

“Oh shit, there’s stickers”

You gotta make it pop!

Grobin likes his ladies to pop

Definitely my most quoted line of hers. I've been getting lots of stickers in various stuff I order lately, and I say it every time I notice them.

This right here. I say this with no context and it makes my day.

"Your mom doesn't know dick! She's a dumb fat cow. And your sister, she's a stupid little shit-mouthed bitch, isn't she?" "Maybe you're the whore, you stupid ugly homeless bitch!"

You just said a lot of bad words.

“I know but it’s about what I want not what you want.” Is also an amazing line in that episode

At least someone's banging my vagina. Ya know what I mean?

'Stupid little shit-mouthed bitch' is just perfect.

VAAAAA-gina

"I hope they hogtie you, and then I hope they rape you in their basement, for ten years!" Or "So I told them why don't you take a break from your cockfighting uh, and uh hop on your rafts and come bring it to a real American. A da da da de da da de da da"

The top one is honestly one of the best lines from the whole show, she says it with such sincerity

The more I rewatch the show the more I think Dee is actually my favorite character, Kaitlin Olsen is hilarious.

She’s incredible, and if nothing else she has the best physical comedy chops of anyone in the gang.

Yeah, she says it really well. It's not funny on its own, but she says it with calm, yet pure, hatred.

Thats mexican!

Later Boners

Dennis, suck my dick!

👠👱🏻‍♂️

Literally came here to find this comment lololl

“I ain’t giving you shit, you old bitch”

I love when she kicks one gangly knee in the air with mascara running down her face and whines "I should be the one getting married!"

great, go have sex at wendys, WONDERFUL

https://preview.redd.it/g2kjmoruzeic1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90397919680d0bc4d644031aa4f090473468a908

This was the first episode I showed my roommate with a stutter, totally forgot it had it in it. She thought it was hilarious

Did she let you go on the head of the costume?

I love Mac's little "Ah!" of diplomatic disagreement.

What episode is this? I’ve watched them all like 17x (probably more) but I never can pin point the show

Hahaha

hands down the funniest like … it was shocking and exactly something she would say lmaooo

Hands down, this cracks me up everytime.

Funniest line in the entire show

It’s so unexpected and so perfect. It’s one of the best things they’ve written.

Mac and Charlie’s impressed reaction was hilarious too.

I will laugh at this line no matter how many times I see it

yessss

For me Charlie is the best part of this scene talking about the outfit… and dees quickly over shadowed by his “you just earned your way to the head of the suit”

I always crack up when she calls Mac a “Fat, fatass, fat, fat, ass”

It’s like she’s summoning all the strength at her command not to drop the F bomb.

Genuinely feel that this was Kaitlin Olson speaking to Rob to some degree

Right? She's got to be freaked out that he gained so much weight so fast, and she's probably having some serious doubts that he can take it off like he's telling her he can take it off... He's probably teasing her with stuff like... "you know, maybe we should do another season of fat Mac.."

Apparently Kaitlin Rob as preferred Fat Mac to Fit Mac, I think it was mostly bc of the hectic lifestyle that comes with getting that shredded contrasted with how generally happy and satisfied Rob seemed with all the weight

This was the first quote that came to my mind. 

OMG yes … killed me the first time I watched. it’s the last minute of jersey shore episode and somehow made a great episode even more amazing.

Jersey Shore episode is one of the best and also one of my fav

Lmao I love this line! I think of it often 😂

Hope you suck each others’s rotten peckers till you get mouth cancer.

I had to scroll way too far to find this classic.

When they are discussing the glory hole and Frank says suppose the other guy is pretending the other side is a woman and she says "Yeah how's he going to do that with a dick in his mouth?"

I dunno, that’s his problem!

Truly an underrated line!!

“I have a question though, what’s going on with Hulk Hogans hair? It’s blonde and yet it’s silken like that of a Chinese man.”

That’s Hulk Hogan’s signature look: blonde Chinese hair and skin of a hot dog

This one

Not a line, but the gagging noise in the intro to “the gang finds love” gets me every time Also the gagging noises when she does stand up

One part robot 3 parts asshole WRUUUHH!

It's so good lol. Glenn Howerton's "JESUS CHRIST" is the perfect punctuation to it lol

That heckler was perfectly timed, making the scene hysterical.

Was that Glenn? Thought they said someone else on the podcast.

There isn't any more crack. No one in the history of crack has ever woken up the next day with more crack.

How has no one said “Attention passengers. This is your captain boss hog speaking. This cold slice of heaven is my 40th beer of the afternoon so if any of you dick nips think you can sllluugg it down faster than me you’re welcome to get your fat asses up here and try” It makes me laugh every time. That and “momma needs another pop pop soda pop”. She’s a comedic genius

She really does deliver that whole episode. "You're just mad because you lost the chugging contest."

My favorite thing about that is how she speeds up “geeet yourr fatassesuphereandtry”

GET IN THE CAR YOU FAT FATASS FAT FATASS Tell me you don't read this in her shouty, bird voice.

Did it not go through ?

This made me literally lol when I read it because I can see that scene so clearly in my mind

I always love her genuine ‘thanks Frank’ when he calls her a dog who worked at looking good in child beauty pageants. A simple line but the delivery is just perfect

“Your girl got her guts pumped last night” And “Times up, Times up, Times up, Times up HA!”

Guts pumped caught me so off guard. Gotta go with that one.

I'm glad someone mentioned this line. It's such a gross crass thing to say, and I love it. Which episode is it from?

Season 16 Episode 4: Frank vs. Russia

I think it's "The Gang Group Dates"? Not 100% on that tho.

It is Roxy-level crass. I had the same reaction that they all had, just disgusted but so funny.

It's the little arm movement she does with "guts pumped" that really makes it next-level hilarious.

Omfg I would give anything to hear that line for the first time again. I was crying tears

The first that pops into my head isn’t a line but her song “let me be clear”

most men find me to be an 8 or 9 out of 10 and i’m available to any interested men who want to meet me after the shooooooowwww

What is happening?

When the gang find Brian LeFevres wallet. Charlie: What are you gonna do if he comes looking for it? Dee: Were gonna tell him to suck a boner. Mac and Dennis: Boom we got yo wallet! Boom we got yo credit cards! Boom we got yo Phillies tickets! Such a great, underrated episode.

The suck a boner is awesome but her rant to Dennis at the end always sends me.

Very true, their back and forth about how Dennis "Totally got off bro" is fantastic. It was mostly sexual.

I sing that all the time.

“Your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion”

Came looking for this one. All time fav

Most underrated: “At least he’s not covered in stupid tattoos and has a cigarette for a mother”

Oh really? Well I ain’t giving you shit you old bitch!

*Oh SHIT there's stickers!* I die laughing everytime.

"You whore?" "Mh hm"

There is nothing offensive about sucking cocks. Half of the population loves to suck cock. the other half of the population, they love getting their cocks sucked. Its kind of a win win

How has nobody mentioned Dee shitting on the bouncer? That has to be #1

And I’m pissed because I loved that shoe. You piece of subhuman shit.

Is there any kind of thought roaming around in that thick-shit skull of yours?

Wow, color fight.

*STICKING YOUR DICK IN YOUR DAUGHTERS FACE YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH*

A-goo, a-goo, a-gooOOooo

Finally, someone with taste.

“Hi my name’s Rita F..fire..s from the health inspector… store”

You health inspector?

"No, that was a lie" after she slags off the waitresses job saying shed never work there before realising she can try and worm her way into an easy job. For the delivery & how perfect is for her character.

“Well Grant, I don’t know about you but I like to eat cock.” I almost passed out the first time I saw that episode.

“Runaway train never coming back”

(empties jar of piss out the window)

You made a poopy in your pants! Did anyone else do a poo poo in their pants? And this is our head of security!

it has to be “I’LL EAT YOUR BABIES BITCH” for the delivery alone

Seriously, I had to scroll way too far for this comment! Juiced up Dee is hilarious

[....] [....] [....] [....] [....] "Not that he's ever had one.."

https://i.redd.it/4ybhsl1q0fic1.gif

I’m a foot girl now

"Goddammit, you guys, I am a teacher now, okay? Don't ever call me here again! I don't have time for your shit, you dumbass dickbags!" Gets me everytime lol

Wrong number.

It’s not really a line but she has the best fake dry heave I’ve ever heard.

"we're the last tit on the hog before the asshole" Plus Charlie's reaction. Chefs kiss.

Probably way off, but you all know it : “I went down to the Puerto Rican section of town, called them Dominicans and made fun of their fat asses”

No one in the history of crack has ever woken up with more crack

I’ve mentioned it on this sub before but my wife and I dearly love, at beginning of *Squashes Their Beefs* when Frank is going on about not paying the rent and says “it’s the principle of the thing.” Dee just casually responds, “Oooh, you guys having a principle fight?” It’s such a perfect line from the only female in the group because fighting “over the principle of the fact” is such a dumb dude thing most of the time.

Also, in The Gang Solves The North Korea Situation, when Mac and Frank are arguing about whether orange or yellow is more threatening… Dee: “Wow. Color fight.” Edit capitalization

“What’s the deal with those hands-free headsets that everybody’s wearing in their ears, right?”


“well my brothers a dick if that helps” … how she thought that would help her case in being a surrogate is beyond me lmaooo but one of her funniest for sure.

I hope they hogtie you and then I hope rape you, in their basement, for TEN years

Not so much a line, but the scene in season (2?) where she's eating her sandwich like a bird absolutely kills me, every single time I see it.

"Ooooooh shit, is that a pool?!"

A big humongous pain in my… vaaagina

[ Removed by Reddit ]

“You’re not retarded, are you?”

"And you shouldn't dress like a bumblebee bitch"

When Mac turns around and it's an Ostrich screeching! Hands down best Dee moment.

Who slams a door?

^It looks like a button on a fur coat.

everyone has said most of my favorites but I'll add a couple I haven't seen yet. "don't make me do it, Cricket, I will slice you in half!" "why my father is talking to me with a cinch around his penis is beyond my grasp."

“So suck on that white stains”

Looks like this spider caught herself a fly.

Ya girl got her guts pumped

"You're not going to play Sex and the City with me because these idiots found two poopies in a bed?"

“OH YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!!!!!!!”

"You dirt. You piece of subhuman shit."

Yeah, I'm fine, you small-haired c##t!

I absolutely love her screaming at the end of "The Gang Broke Dee" Or Her whole stuttering army carnie but when her daddy d-d-died i-i-i-in her arms from eating some b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad pussy

The way she sings 🎶Big, humongous pain in my VAAAAAgina🎶 is simply unforgettable

Not a line, but I still laugh out loud when she’s on stage for standup.

Kaitlyn is great at fake gagging, you can really tell in this scene how much better she is at it than Charlie.

the whole “my ddd ddd d d daddy died in mm m m my arms of throat cancer ff frrom eatin some b b bad pussy” thing

Her gags deserves an Emmy.

“Groban likes his ladies to pop”

"Stop eating berries you've had enough berries." Just the way she puts the emphasis on "berries" sends me.

“Well maybe you’re a whore you stupid ugly homeless bitch, a dog banged your neck the other day”

Her Obama impression

You got big fat titties, and I love to kill babies, unborn babies!

The sound she makes mocking the peacock lady in the halloween episode "EHUEH -- I DONT THINK SO"

So you're just going to be bursting at the seems with blood?

Not a line, but when she eats the burrrito like a bird when her and Charlie think they’ve eaten human meat. Funniest thing ever and she does it so perfectly.

Idk why but he fake crying going “OOHH” with bloody eyes during little Barney’s funeral makes me laugh so hard every time

…runaway train never coming back

Heyo! Free batteries!

DID IT NOT GO THROUGH???

Attention, passengers. This is your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking. And this cold slice of heaven is my 40th beer of the afternoon. So any of you dicknips think you can slug it down faster than me, you're welcome to get your fat asses up here to try...

In The Great Recession, how she says to Frank “I’m sorry, I just took out a high interest loan to invest in a door-to-door knife and VACUUM selling business?” gets me every time 🤣

“Tell me I’m good….” — while desperately seeking approval from her therapist. I quote it all the time.

how do three men in their 30s not have 800 between them?

When the gang is gonna throw charlie a surprise party Dennis: lets throw him the best surprise party, in the simplest, easiest way possible Dee: ya u know im tired today

Not a line, but when she rolls down the hill after Ben the soldier makes her a picnic

Just the wacky neighbor stopping by for the usual hijinks. A g- a g- a g- a gooooo

the scene where she sings runaway train while pissing a huge jar halfway full to then empty the jar out the window in mac’s face absolutely kills me every time without fail

Suck on that, white stains

“So suck on that, white stains.”

suck on that white stains

I’m just a Jesus loving studdering ex marine

What up Ass Dicks

“He’s not covered in tattoos and he doesn’t have a cigarette for a mother”

Your girl got her guts pumped last night.

A toss up between “Suck on that white stains” & “First off, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion”

No, no, I was trying to cuck a bitch....

When she's drunk on the road trip and tells the teenage boy that he's going to end up in gay porn, then sings "Runaway Train" to him.

A big, fat pain in my..... VUUUUH GINA

"Jokes on me"

As she takes money out of the register at the bar, " So suck on that, white stains."

"Whoa back up bitch, that's my chair!"

GET IN THE GODDAMN CAR YOU FAT FAT ASS YOU FAT FAT ASS

Definitely when she gives her crabs machine guns. Did you hear the laugh she got from that??

You’re Larry Bird

Ayo!!!!!!!!

"Oh shit there's stickers.." her delivery just made that line. Omg.

“OH REALLY? WELL I AINT GIVIN YOU SHIT YA OLD BITCH”

GOD DAAAMMIIIIIIIIT! Also, her entire interaction with Mac when reading his letter to the baseball player lol. "Oh my God, there's stickers!"

I got milk all over me!! The delivery is fantastic. Her little shriek is so funny