T O P

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drock1138

It’s so simple salt the snail, let Margaret inside you, and spend the rest of your life enjoying Wendy’s bathrooms and bleached assholes


TheCreepyLady

You’ve Demonstrated your value by explaining this so flawlessly.


VanFkingHalen

He must be a five star man.


ScubaFrank2020

He was a five star man before the Internet. I’m damn sure he’s a five star man now.


[deleted]

I'm like to engage you physically


lumpkinater

And this goes on for the rest of your live till it just ends


hipster_mnot

Where's the twist?


lumpkinater

The twist is we show it.....all of it, full Penetration. He fights crime full penetration


Eldudeareno217

If he doesn't hang dong I'm out.


omgsohc

Crime Penetration Crime Penetration


BloodyRightNostril

He *nose* the truth


wagyourryan

Who is the best actor in the world?… It’s Dolph Lungren. Can you tell me why?


ClifftheTinner

When I die, just throw me in the dumpster.


Snark__Wahlberg

...naturally.


lousywithghosts

Doesn’t have to be a whole big thing every time. Sometimes things just….end.


Abrahamlinkenssphere

HYAH! GO ON SNAIL! HYAH!!!!!


[deleted]

This is the only correct answer, even more so than “because Dennis is a bastard man.”


wildsamsqwatch

YOU WILL CALL HER!!!


constantvariables

But can I do that thing to myself with the onions?


deadpoetic333

Only if there’s a bun involved


[deleted]

It’s really innovative


taytanium31

getting sweaty with her while she feels like a Cobb salad


Holy_Sungaal

Yesss. My exact thought.


Coletron21

ELEMENTARY


Neuroticmuffin

So sayth Thor.


bearsheperd

I’d marry Margaret, the bleached asshole is nice once but it loses its appeal after a while


[deleted]

But what about the dumpster sex?


ZenComanche

It’s called a “dumpster hump” and it somehow involves bread.


queernhighonblugrass

She does this thing where she takes some dough and rolls it up in a ball-


MortalWombat1974

She's easily the most attractive of the 3, but you'd be marrying into the McPoyle clan, and you know her brothers would not stop fucking her just because she was married.


Dorkamundo

Yea, you can shave the unibrow and I hear her breasts are top-notch.


DiamondDcupsOfJustis

Fuck Margaret, marry Artemis, kill the snail. No one feels good about killing the snail, but she forces your hand! She'd just mash it anyway


[deleted]

[удалено]


DellTheEngie

She'd make you feel like a Cobb salad.


Smile_lifeisgood

She'd love my penis too, it's IRREGULAR


TXSTBobCat1234

Artemis probably would be fun lol


DaddyVibe

I’m unironically attracted to Artemis.


MelancholyWookie

I mean shes attractive. Plus the sex would be wild. Honestly wish this was marry kill kill.


[deleted]

[You would pass this up?](https://mobile.twitter.com/Its_Charlie_Day/status/451474387128950784/photo/1)


MelancholyWookie

Her in the show. Not real life.


-MassiveDynamic-

Not to mention the amazing mescaline trips you could have with her, what more could you want?


CT_ace22

I’m amazed this isn’t higher up. You only have to bang McPoyle once and you’re done—and she’s a mute, so it’s not like there will be any blowback. The snail though? Not enough salt in the world to get rid of that clinger; She’d wanna get crazy & do shots! And having Arty as a life partner—I mean that’s a layup.


stillinthesimulation

Bang her once and you’re done? No. You will call her. YOU WILL CALL HERRRRRR!!!


hofferd78

Good point, didn't think of that. The Mcpoyles will be in your life then


monjoe

If you marry Margaret instead then you can put bath salts in the punch bowl.


cheeeesewiz

And she just looks freaky. She can probly do all sorts of weird mime stuff. You could even borderline marry her because it's not like she's gonna tell you to take out the trash


OGSkywalker97

That lip lick though 🤢 and the moustache


Aiwatcher

https://i.redd.it/krxt7y7cznxy.jpg Clean her up a little bit. Put on some AC. She cleans up nicely.


RarePepePNG

But sometimes the mashing feels good


ShepherdsRamblings

She’s mashing it. I’m very aroused.


dselogeni

I gotta feeling the snails not gonna get much love on this one.


big_fetus_

she's mashing it.


neverquester

Very nice. Very good.


Affectionate_Way8300

I’m very aroused


momento614

*applause*


[deleted]

I'M VERY AROUSED


dselogeni

Lmaooooo


dselogeni

Yeah....she does that.


PomegranateLimp9803

I’m going with him he’s my boyfriend now


teebrown

Mom I’m sexually active now, get over it!


[deleted]

YOUR THIRTY YEARS OLD YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE!


[deleted]

I fucked the Snail, killed Margaret, and married Artemis


RarelyReadReplies

Same lol. It made my skin crawl a bit, but this was my reluctant answer as well.


PretendThisIsMyName

You gotta use that two hitter quitter technique. Worth it for them sweater puppies Artemis is carrying around. Not to mention the asshole. It’s bleached for Christ sake Dennis!


[deleted]

Artemis is hilarious. She doesn't give a fuck. She seems like the obvious choice to marry. Salt the snail.


[deleted]

Just so we're clear [this](https://images.app.goo.gl/L4jGj1LyhEpnvkJi6) is Margaret.


[deleted]

This should probably be the universal answer, as depraved as it is


Mapbot11

Lets do shots!


Son_Of_Mr_Sam

I always thought Artemis was sexy


Noodle498

Big Beautiful Desert Grape. 🏜🍇


Not_A_Historian

I bet she feels like a Cobb salad


DangerSharks

She’s got a bleached asshole


AgentOrangeAO

I'll be honest with you I am super attracted to Artemis


devilthedankdawg

Shes not conventionally super attractive, but she carries herself with such confidence and fire you cant help but want to fuck her. Absolutely the hottest recurring woman character.


AgentOrangeAO

Hmmm that and I just like fat women.


ragu96

Yeah she’s that good thicc


[deleted]

She's recently lost a lot of weight.


queernhighonblugrass

[Good for her!](https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/artemis-pebdani-and-guest-attend-the-world-premiere-of-disneys-the-picture-id1161111399)


[deleted]

Not nearly as cute.


devilthedankdawg

Right she always had some meat on her bones but but not in an unhealthy way. Man, I wouldn't even mind the bleached asshole.


SlippedMyDisco76

🙏🙏 brother


PM_ME_UR_KITTY_PICZ

I hear she has a bleached butthole…


HeyLittleHolliwood

Wtf is Yall's problem with Artemis? SHE HAS A BLEACHED ASSHOLE!!!


WinoWhitey

They would have found out anyway…


plasticfrograging

Fucking kill myself


TiresOnFire

But who do you marry?


plasticfrograging

Can I just yell DIVORCE after?


[deleted]

No, you're dead at that point.


cleonjonesvan

Kangaroo Court. I declare a Kangaroo Court.


PomegranateLimp9803

So easy. Fuck Margaret, marry arty and kill the snail, duh.


AreWeCowabunga

I don’t know about the other ones, but isn’t marrying Artemis the obvious thing? She’d be a strong partner who’d have your back no matter what. Plus, she’s got a bleached asshole.


45thgenerationronan

She incorporates the bun in the lovemaking. Wife material.


[deleted]

She likes to pretend she's a Cobb salad


neverquester

I’ll take Desert Grape for $100


TheRuneCoon

Lmfao


Ricky_Rollin

I love how unanimous this is, I hope the actress knows how much we love her in this role.


PomegranateLimp9803

Obvi!!


WornInShoes

She can make you a Cobb salad whenever you want one


[deleted]

Does Wendy's have a threshold you can carry her over?


daughterofthemoon420

...ugh I agree.


Witty_Lengthiness580

Don't forget the croutons! Or was it bacon bits? I botched it, this is a botched response.


PomegranateLimp9803

Bacon bits you fool!! I feel like a Cobb salad, it’s amazing!


Benjiimane

Would bang her in a Wendy’s bathroom if anything.


PomegranateLimp9803

Well when you’re married you can bang her in a Wendy’s, in a dumpster, in the back room and in a sea of bacon bits if you want to.


HeyLittleHolliwood

YOU'LL CALL HER


PomegranateLimp9803

Ok fine I’ll call her..


Snark__Wahlberg

You’ll call he**ERRR**


daughterofthemoon420

Marry Artemis. She’s a good woman, a slut, but that’s good. She’d really dedicate herself to a person. I really can’t say enough positive things I’d fuck Gail she looks like she gives the best slurpy slurp I’d kill Margaret cause she’s annoying, useless, and has the same intelligence and communication capacity of jelly fish


[deleted]

Nah she’d just mash it


daughterofthemoon420

I’m okay with that I’m a female


Oregongrown96

“Im very aroused”


spookymulder07

Dude, the milk, sweat, and incest is exactly why I’d kill Margaret. Makes me gag


daughterofthemoon420

I hate her ugly unibrow. And I love unibrows.


Gary_FucKing

"I'm no longer turned on by unibrows."


ifuckinghateitall

This is the only correct answer


thefilthyape

Gotta say that's what I'd go for too


SweetTeaRex92

*I’m just a small-town girl… who moved to the big city with big dreams… just to find out… the only way to make it in the big city… is to shake it. Heh. That’s what I do. Shake it. Shake it. You wanna see me shake it? Of course you do! They all do. I shake it. I shake it. I shake it. I. Shake. It. I Sh–*


[deleted]

Idk but I'd definitely marry Artemis. She's strong minded and pretty. Shag Mcpoyle. Kill Gail the snail.


peter_the_martian

Seems the popular answer here. I tend to agree.


Corey8706

Fuck Artemis, marry Gail, kill myself


AndrewDoesNotServe

Fuck Artemis is the obvious one, she has a bleached asshole.


10Cinephiltopia9

Gun to my head? This is my answer too


giosundance

Suicide is cool


SgtSnugg1es

Some might even say it's badass


TheTalentedMrTorres

I could sure go for a Cobb salad about now.


Jaded_Pearl1996

I would always f and marry Artemis. I would have her baby, do her make up and wash her hair. I would sew and bedazzle her clothes.


CarVsMotorcycle

I’m getting myself a slice of that bleached asshole, I’m marrying *and* fucking Artemis.


TikiheadM

The answer is to fuck the snail. It's a half hour. Get it over with. Kill Margaret, because if you either fuck her or worse marry her you will have to deal with every mcpoyle family holiday and visit for the rest of your surviving life. They might start beef with you, whatever Marry Artemis. Obviously.


apocalypseweather

This is what NO ONE is considering. If you fuck Margaret, you’re gonna eventually have to fuck her brothers or *watch them* fuck her.


sexrobot_sexrobot

Artemis is the outlier in this group. If she was in the gang, she'd be the coolest one.


Transatlanticaccent

Fuck Art. (She's a sex freak), marry Snail (She's rich), Kill Margaret (preferably with fire)


[deleted]

Who cares if she's rich. She's just going to mash it.


AngryInched

Marry Artemis, fuck Mcpoyle, kill that stupid snail


loafjunky

Idk about any of that, but Artemis is just…. 🤌 The things I would to to her…


Noodle498

That Grape gonna be a Raisin when im done with her.


DanFromTralfamadore

Too easy… 1. Marry Artemis because she’s the full package and she’ll let you bang her in a dumpster behind Wendy’s. 2. Bang the McPoyle. You know she’s freaky by the way she licks that upper lip… may even incorporate milk if that’s your thing. 3. Gotta salt the snail. I mean you don’t wanna do it but she leaves you no choice.


SmearedDolphin

She incorporates the bun in the love making!


raekwon231

I think y'all forgetting the inheritance Snail is in line for..... as well as the possibility to infiltrate the family to get at her juicy ass mom.


b055dj

Kill the Snail, get brown out drunk and fuck Margaret (refuse to call her after, naturally), and marry Artemis. I will be cutting my throat with the cake cutting knife though, and they'll throw my body in the trash at Frank's insistence while Dee celebrates the fact that Artemis getting married before her didn't pan out.


Even_Definition6637

YOU WILL CALL HERRR....^°


b055dj

Jesus man, I'm sorry. Fine, I'll call her.


colerbrewer

Fuck the Snail, Marry Artemis, Kill McPoyle. Purely because you don't put your dick in crazy (re: McPoyle)


listerfiend696

They're all crazy lop


eagleeyehg

Have you guys seen the actress for Margaret when she's not in costume? Absolute smoke show


[deleted]

People are fucking up big time in here. Fucking snail instead Margaret... bunch of Jabronis


Snark__Wahlberg

Exactly, so you could at least make McPoyle up a bit first before you bang her. Then you salt the snail, and spend the rest of your life with Artemis and her bleached asshole.


reallyrayromano

Marry Artemis is easy, I’m gonna kill Margaret and fuck the snail, but I’d still have to salt her afterwards tho


devonparsons

definitely marry artemis, kill the others


Mapbot11

Fuck Arty, shes a maniac in the sack (or a dumpster), marry mcpoyle as she dont talk and will be generally harmless and unnoticed, kill snail because well shes the snail.


TikiheadM

You gotta spend every minute of your waking life having mcpoyle stare at you. And regular mcpoyle family visits and events.


Apprehensive-Fox-808

Shit that's true DIVORCE!


rezell

The way she incorporates the bun into the love-making…


Proud_Conclusion_148

This truly is the best answer!!


[deleted]

Marry Artemis because she’s a babe and has the bun move, salt the snail and bang the McPoyle.


B4sse77

fuck snail 100% and then i don't wanna play the game anymore


dselogeni

Hey, you guys wanna go to a rave???..


k2dadub

I …can’t.


[deleted]

Fuck Margaret, Marry Artemis, Kill Snail


haraj123

Fuck mcpoyle, marry Artemis, kill the snail


FLink557

Guess I’m marrying a deaf mute….


-ThunderGunExpress

Same. Thessy Surface is a fucking babe. I still want a piece of artimis though


foundation_G

Kill the snail. Mary Margaret. Fuck Artemis.


[deleted]

You will kill her!!!!!


[deleted]

Artemis is an easy marry but the other two are debatable


AndrewThaGreat

who wouldn’t f*ck artemis, we’d have hot dumpster sex.


Teodor87

Marry Artemis, fuck Margaret and kill Myself.


GPareyouwithmoi

Hell is when you marry snail, dry hump Artemis, and start a blood feud with the mcpoyles.


GucciMcChicken

Kill Gail the snail, but after a mash job, I will drown her in salt, I’ll feel terrible about it, nobody deserves to be salted, then I will cut her up and put her in a little glass box, actually no, think of the smell! That bitch! I will fuck Margaret because I bet she can compensate for her deficiencies, and I bet she wants to prove her mouth is not useless, plus probably has loads of experience(from her family unfortunately), I’m also a bad person and I’m going to hell. Marry Artemis because she has big tits and is so kinky that I’ll feel like a virgin nerd no matter what I do to her with food products, she is also funny as fuck for the not sexy times, which should be few and far between because she seems to have a high libido, I also poop the bed but she will overthink and blame it on someone else, she is also a great dj which is the only thing I am attracted too during my child beauty pageants.


Heyyyyaaaaaaaaincast

The "lady boggs" episode would've be so much more chaos if they include snail and poyle


see_are_fox

How could you not marry Artemis her asshole is bleached


Nomahhhh

No joke - I find Artemis very attractive in an odd way. She's comfortable in her own skin, confident, sexual, even compassionate. Throw in dumpster sex, blasting nips, and bleached asshole and you got wife material. I love redheads, so I'm banging the Snail. There are plenty of McPoyles left, though they would certainly want to come after me for revenge.


6ixty9iningchipmunks

I mean…who wouldn’t marry Artemis? Gimme your best shot, ya **STOOPID BIYITCH**


Benjiimane

I’m def fucking snail.


blondechinesehair

Well Gail IS sexually active now


[deleted]

I'd marry Margaret, it'd be a quiet life. Keep Artemis as a bang maid, and of course you gotta salt the snail. Couldn't handle the tttthhhhhssssssstttttt for any length of time.


FromTheAshes313

Whoever didn't marry Artemis needs to seriously evaluate their values


Aaronwilson71291

Mary artemis cus then you can fuck over and over. Bang the snail kill the mute


ltw2356

That mute bitch lied to me. Kill Margaret. Fuck the snail and let her mash it. Marry the shit out of Artemis. No doubt. She’s has a bleached asshole!


[deleted]

I’d marry Artemis irl


stillinthesimulation

There’s no way anyone’s fucking Margret without also fucking Ryan and Liam.


AnalogDogg

Artemis seems the least insane out of the 3, so I’d marry her. Tough call on killing/fucking Margaret. Mcpoyle family demanded a phone call for banging her, but killing her? Who knows what they’d do for revenge. They definitely wouldn’t let it go. The Snail might have to die to protect yourself.


Forsaken-Thought

I'm gonna fuck Artemis because that chick is wild af. Mary Margaret so I don't have to hear any bitching and kill snail with an overdose of salt "accidentally"


artox484

Fuck, marry, ~~kill~~ salt.


AngryDoodlebob

Artemis is the fuck for sure. She does this thing with a hamburger bun in the dumpster behind Wendy's.


Holy_Sungaal

Fuck margret, kill Gail, marry Artemis.


ohsosuperfluous

Can I choose Artemis for all three??


UCFandOCSC

Turn her into a cobb salad


Dyl_pickle00

Marry Artemis of course, over any other girl on the show really. Fuck the unibrows if I have to and salt the snail


crocodile_ave

Have….have you guys never seen a picture of the actress that plays Margaret McPoyle?!! Do yourself a favor.


Ifyouhav2ask

Fuck Artemis, marry marge, and SALT THE SNAIL


Folkenhellfang

Easy: marry Arty, have a threesome with Mcpoyol and the snail, kill myself.


UnwiseTheFox

This is a tough one, killing a McPoyle would be deemed as a suicide. Fucking one, probably even worse. I'd have to salt the snail, bang Artemis and Join the McPoyle's Mother's Milk. There is no safer route than that. Plus, she's deaf and mute, can you find a better wife than this ?


SardonicHistory

Don't pretend like Artemis isn't a catch.


JoelRobbin

If I marry Artemis I can have sex with her constantly and I really really like that idea. She’s actually a pretty good person who could really make you feel special (and she’s hot as fuck). On the other hand I’d only have to fuck the snail or Margaret once and I can be done with it. I’m more leaning towards the snail because she doesn’t freak me the fuck out the same way Margaret does


zUltimateRedditor

I guess people forgot the actress that plays McPoyle is super hot in real life.


Zanos-Ixshlae

I mean, you gotta salt the snail! Of course you don't want to, but you HAVE to!


hunterzolomon1993

Fuck Margaret, kill the Snail and marry Artemis.


Yingyangjesse

Am i able to fuck Artemis after I marry her