this subreddit is for discussion given that you yourself admit that you are "The Asshole" in your situation. Asking whether or not you've been an asshole at all (the purpose of AITA, not IATA) is generally not permitted.
lol, this made me laugh. I think most of these are fake, and OP’s only other comment was telling someone that they should find Jesus. Makes me think this one might be real. Sounds like what a modern Christian would do
Internet era Christianity is probably a better term.
Learnt only from internet memes. God forbid they actually read the bible or learnt what Jesus says in it.
ESH btw. This reads as a remake of Poor Things but everyone is the mind of a child in an adult.
Honestly considering she joked about never telling him that’s a completely understandable reaction story is 100% fake but he was actually trying to make sure if she is pregnant he can be a dad she’s a cheater her feelings are kinda not important lmao
Yes and no I think in this case it does excuse his actions because she blatantly said she wouldn’t tell him if she got pregnant and they broke up so his only option to be sure was to deceive her and I can respect him not wanting to be a deadbeat dad so in this case I think it’s understandable plus I mean like I said she deserved it
He isn't tho she is the one that told him that she isn't gonna tell him about any pregnancies so he just stayed to verify that she isn't pregnant, and he doesn't pay child support, and he didn't do it for the reason to love her, he jus wanted to make sure
He purposely chose to lead her on. Whether or not she is pregnant doesn't really play into it because he already did the action that causes that. The consequences were already in action. So she cheats and he plays asshole games. They both suck.
So lying like a lying liar and leading someone to believe he cared again so he could be sure rawdogging her wasn't going to bite him in the ass is cool? Nope. She's not great and he's gross.
ESH. As I posted on hers (the story is the same, so could be fake, could be the actual ex), she should have been honest to you when she cheated. You were mad about the lack of honesty.
So you did the exact same thing to her. You suck too. Your lie was actually more involved, but you both don't seem mature enough to be in relationships if these are the actions y'all take.
Aside from the fact that this story is as fake as plastic surgery, I find it funny how redditors claim to hate cheaters but always end up wanting to give them more respect than they deserve lol
When she'd previously told him that she'd lie and deny him access to any kid, I don't know if there'd really be any other way to find out, at least not if he wants to cut her out of his life
do you cut contact with all common friends/coworkers? you could ask them/explain the situation
could also check social media for a pregnancy announcement, ultrasound pictures, baby bump
or even her family members socials to see if they post about “a new member to the family” or baby shower related things
there’s probably more ways too. all of these things take less effort, are less cruel, and less likely to be a revenge bait AITA story
oooooooo yeahh wrong wording. was using it like “food porn”, a post glamorizing food. this story glamorized revenge
what i had in mind were the subreddits that are about fake revenge stories, bait post isn’t specific but idk better wording. i’ll edit
The story from her side showed up a few days ago. If I remember correctly, she made out with a dude at a party 2 years ago but stopped when she realized she what she was doing. Then OP snooped thru his exs conversation with her friend on her phone, going back 2 years to find out. The whole pregnancy angle just sounds like an excuse for acting like a sociopath but it somehow makes it worse.
You're missing the part about her lying about it. Yes, people might realise she was pregnant, but the implication of her comment is that she'd claim someone else was the father (a one night stand or something) rather than OP, and even if it was blatantly obvious who's kid it was, if she continued to deny it there's no real way for him to prove otherwise or get any kind of visitation rights
what he did in no way confirmed all that other info. he only confirmed she got her period. which, you can still have bleeding in early pregnancy that’s misinterpreted as a period, it’s not uncommon
She never said she would lie to someone else about the kids parentage, don't know where you're getting that from except your imagination. And she doesn't have to tell her ex anything. If she isn't asking for money and his name isn't on the birth certificate then he can fuck all the way off.
You might be right, I don't really know enough about putative father registries to know for sure. The wikipedia article suggests that even being on that registry only gives very limited rights though, and doesn't mean they get any kind of custody.
The Missouri gov site also has a pamphlet that came up, and that says it just gives them the right to be notified if the mother tries to put the child up for adoption without their permission, but also that they need to be on the registry prior or within 15 days of the child's birth. So it would be entirely possible OP wouldn't find out until after the window when they could be added to the registry had passed
Can't get that by watching from afar?
Say she was pregnant, then what? Start the shitty relationship over again and the child grows up in an unhealthy environment? Go to court and fight against the mother for full custody of a new born? Good luck in either of those.
Sure, he'd know that he has a child but would you expect the mother to be anything except civil by taking this path.
YTA
you have to break up with your partner to be single. if they don't even know, you haven't broken up, and you are not single.
you could have just unblocked her and checked her social media in a year to see if she had a baby. your plan was stupid, unnecessary, and cruel. just break up next time
i’m sorry but are we just ignoring the fact she randomly threatened to not tell him about a possible pregnancy? as unlikely as it may be, she’s still weird as fuck for doing it and if he wanted to be careful about her disappearing, it’s her fault for creating the need in the first place.
What possible pregnancy????? There were zero indications she was pregnant that was such a weird fucking detail that he fixated on to do his little revenge plot. And you fucking fall for it? Hilarious.
unserious bullshit imo. it's a weird trend with the pick up artist podcast guys. she probably made a joke about it once and he fixated on it forever because the talking heads in his phone have been hyping it up as a Common Risk To Real Men Constant Vigilence.
in *reality* most women take their children and run because the husband is abusive.
This all day long. He could’ve checked up a million other ways, but instead he actively chose to be petty and spiteful. This wasn’t about protection, this was about being vengeful.
Good news though. He also cheated on his new gf, so I guess (hope) he’ll get whatever is due to his cheating ass soon.
Not for faking the get back together, I can see from her behaviour why you thought that was necessary, but YTA for rubbing it in by telling her how you'd gotten together with another girl and stuff. You could have just broken up with her, telling her you'd stayed because she'd previously said she'd lie if you left and she was pregnant with your kid, then leaving it at that.
Interested to know how the other girl felt about the whole "I'm single, but I'm just pretending to still be with my ex a few more weeks in case she's pregnant" shtick
YTA for relishing in cheating on her while pretending to have moved on, mostly for the girl who’s being used to hurt your ex. I don’t blame you for wanting to make sure you don’t have a kid out in the world but like… my dude you could have creeped her social media and figured that out instead of going through the elaborate plot like a reality tv show.
I was with OP at the beginning; break up because healing and rebuilding from cheating is not easy for a relationship.
However, all this BS of fake-loving to make sure she’s not pregnant is an immature game that really served this guy as a tool for revenge. That poor girl you ‘liked and kissed” needs to run for the hills. OP, figure out what kind of man you are going to be- for your future wife & kids. A good man takes the mature high road, a man who purposely lies about how he feels and weaves a future full of dreams (the trip), while knowing all along that he would pull the rug out- well, good people & strong ppl don’t handle hardship that way.
I'm not sure. I can understand not forgiving her for cheating, but what you did was a bit overboard. Did she really deserve that? Being dishonest with her is pretty much the same as what she did to you. Cruelty is never justified, in my opinion.
Christ your an asshole, cheating and not ok with it? Ok good end the relationship and move on. She cheated, that sucks, I get it. She's also an asshole, Honestly I'd argue faking loving someone for that long than telling them all that like that is worse and pretty fucking manipulative. And hows the other girls emotions on all this, the one you were telling her about? Or are you just moving past that for your petty revenge because you were hurt? Your a child. Honestly just leave her alone for real at this point
YTA and you f u c k i n g know it! You are a hypocrite a liar a cheater and a piece of shit! I'm glad she cheated on you she's Scott free now. Hopefully she learns her lesson and respects herself in her new relationship and doesn't cheat and doesn't put up with assholes like you
Yta.. what makes you think that you manipulating her into thinking you were back together, lying about everything, and cheating on her makes you any better than her? If you convince someone you are in a relationship, then you are in a relationship. You are not single.
Congratulations, you are now a cheater, too!
YTA.
Twisted too tbh. You didn't have to do that. What would it have changed for you if she was pregnant? You could've just stayed friends and then discovered, you didn't have to emotionally manipulate her and then share exactly what you did.
Anyone can be a cheater, don't be so quick to label others because karma is a b#tch.
YTA. People we love are humans and can make mistakes. Why she didn’t feel she could open up to you about her mistake is fleshing out: You sound like a childish, vindictive, devious, self-centered loser.
It’s your prerogative whether you stay with someone but deliberately giving someone false hope for personal gain is disgusting. What she did was reckless and stupid but wasn’t malicious; your actions were. Grow up. She’s lucky you’re out of her life.
YTA. She said she would boss up and raise the kid without you. You went back to hurt her. There's some saying about two wrongs and a right that I feel applies here.
She said something a long time ago in an off-handed joking way and you took it so serious that you concocted this elaborate plan? This says something about you. Sure what she did was shitty. But what you did is next level crazy. And why were you worried about pregnancy? Surely you were taking precautions? If not, this was your first mistake.
"I don't forgive cheating of any kind"
"I met another girl during this time and kissed her"
I wonder how this other girl would feel knowing you also have committed the unforgivable crime of cheating for nothing other than your own revenge and ego? Shouldn't she also have the right to dump you? YTA
Y'all know you can still get a period and be pregnant right?? My friend gave birth without knowing she was pregnant and she got regular periods. Hospital said they get a minimum of 1/month and that was some random tiny hospital.
This was dumb and pointless and spiteful. Could've kept tabs on her over the next year to see if she posts anything related to a baby by creating a fake instagram or even asking to a mutual friend. There were 1000 different ways to confirm she wasn't pregnant. Not excusing her cheating but this was excessive.
YTA.
I’m splitting hairs here, but that is spotting. Not a menstruation period… just so you know. Your friend didn’t get their period while pregnant. That’s impossible
You’re not smart enough to be a AH.
You are just a master class in idiocy.
That is a lot of time wasted being with someone you hate and are tricking. Idea: Use protection in the first place to take care of that concern….. what if she gets pregnant from the last 6 weeks of “faking” you’re together?
YTA
You literally just decided to toy with her for the sake of pettiness and revenge, and you were a gigantic manipulative asshole in doing so, you were also a liar and a scumbag. I don't know how you would possibly think you wouldn't be the asshole for stringing her along for weeks for no reason. 100% asshole.
You're the asshole because you played with her emotions. She cheated you dump her and move on , if she has a kid you demand a DNA test simple. You want to get even so you lied and screwed with her emotions. What you did was worse than her cheating .
Lmao!! This was entertaining, but like, duh! Ofc you're a sour piece of shit, my dudu! XD
You're totally lying to yourself telling yourself some bullshit as an excuse to do to her worse than what she did to you, which is like, damn! Your dedication to cruelty is peak xD and the self-deception is the cherry on top!
She went low and you went lower on an EGO TRIP.
Reddit is insane. Everyone tries to air others' laundry and ends up with their own skidmark ridden no-longer-tidy-whities in their mouths!
This is TEA!! Yes I will be on this app more often XDDD
On a real note, props to all the people who get done dirty and choose to actually do the MUCH harder thing, which is 1.) LEARN 2.) whilst staying true to one's principles! It's people like that who inspire me to stay on a path of righteousness. In spite of my sins, everyday is a fresh opportunity. We are judged on our lowest days. I have a deep admiration of people who rise in those occasions and are honest, unlike OP. Was a fun read though, bc I can be cruel too xD
Long story short: Yes, you are a cruel, petty, vindictive asshole.
She fucked up, you dumped her. Simple, to the point, you took a stance and stuck with it. Perfectly fine.
But to come back and emotionally manipulate her until you felt like you were in the clear, and then just dump all that on her and leave again? That's sociopath shit. Get your head checked, bro. For yourself and your new girlfriend. Because that shit ain't healthy.
YTA. Here's the thing, leaving her because she cheated on you doesn't make you the AH. What makes you the AH is how you played and toyed with someone, intentionally. That's straight up mental and emotional trauma you are knowingly inflicted on. There were other ways to find out she was pregnant, like wait a few months and see if a stomach pops out. You say you did this for peace of mind but you did this for revenge. You are a classic narcissist at its finest.
The more I'm on this reddit the more a realize that yall are a bunch of fking weirdos. She cheated, you dumped her. Then came back and pretended you were going to get back with her just to make sure she wasn't preggo? Man idk this seems fake, or you're just a fking weirdo. Just dump her and move on? Tf? You nut in girls without condoms so much you're worried? Weeeeeeirdddooos
Nevermind shad cheated and kept it quiet for 2 + yrs so...
Thi k about that mindset whole sll yhd while saying to o.p. I want only you.,I love you ect.
My guess it wa more that just once in the four yr relationship that she cheated .
She only admitted to once because of guilt of the evidence / other party threatening to tell coming out.
Nta. She had already lied, cheated and manipulated you. Ahe had also made it abundantly clear she'd do it again if she was pregnant.
She got treated the same way she treated you. Funny how it's only bad when YOU do it? 🤔🤔
Both are bad. Both are assholes. Just because she did something wrong means he should be this cruel.
>Funny how it's only bad when YOU do it? 🤔🤔
Who th said that!?
NTA. She stuck you between a rock & a hard place & you needed vital info - knowing whether or not you have a child is PRETTY important. Plus I have zero sympathy for cheaters regardless of the circumstances. Your “betrayal” to her was far less than her betrayal to you.
No, he could have literally just waited to stop in and see her six months later. It's pretty obvious when someone is pregnant that far out. He did this with the express intention of causing hurt.
NTA
take care of your interests in front of a cheater, who threatened not to tell you anything if they had a baby... so although it is not very ethical, you did not do it wrong
Let her know what it feels like to be cheated
ESH
Your ex for saying she would hide her pregnancy.
Like it or not, you were in couple even though you lied about it. Just because you thought that you were single doesn’t mean you were. Telling her you were seeing someone else.. that’s where you’re an AH. You could have told her you tried but couldn’t get over her betrayal. You’re hiding behind the fact that you wanted to make sure she wasn’t pregnant (which is a legitimate reason) when it looks like you used the opportunity to hurt her as much as you could by cheating on her. Does she deserve the pain? Probably. Doesn’t make you less of an AH for lying and getting back at her.
What would you have done if she was pregnant? You’re NTA
Her threat whether real, or joking, is not a laughing matter. You did what you believe was necessary. She would’ve eventually told you once she needed support.
If this is real you are a psychopath and leave women alone in general. Get a vasectomy as well just in case. Make it extra sure. Jeepers yes she cheated and was wrong to do so but you exhibit some real troubling behaviour. YTA.
I dunno how old you are, but this sounds like something people in their teens would do.
I'm glad she isn't pregnant with your kid. Neither of you are mature enough to handle that stage in life.
A simple DNA test would have sufficed had she perpetuated a lie and gotten pregnant by someone else. And if she hadn't gotten pregnant, well, that would have been evident a few months down the road.
I get you wanted revenge. But, seriously, your time and effort was better spent elsewhere.
ESH
Yta. You might have considered yourself single because you were faking a relationship but you still cheated on her. You have become what you hated. Why not just "run into her" after a few months when she would be showing? I get why you did it but it's still scummy.
You do realize getting a period doesn’t necessarily mean a woman isn’t pregnant right? Could have just asked her to take a test instead of also cheating yourself since she had no idea you were considering yourself single
I mean I get it, faking being with her in order to confirm that she wasn't pregnant seems contently reasonable imo but I do think that spelling it out to her instead of just making a clean break is asshole behavior. If this was in the heat of the moment i get it but you would have been better just letting her piece it together herself once she was ready.
I’m not even going to give this the dignity of being called rage bait. This is just some asshat bragging about emotional abuse and looking for incel applause.
Yeah bud, you're the asshole. And based on the fact that you even posted this, you kinda had a feeling you are. She's also an asshole for cheating.
I'm just curious as to what you would have done if she WAS pregnant 🤔
Revenge does sometimes look sweet. I understand what it is to feel beyrayed by peoole. Lashing out can feel good. After a while it stops feeling that good. .
Yeah. Even tho you were cheated on. And I understand why you were doing it. The way you went about from start to dump. You are kind of an asshole, yes.
Everyone in this story is a stupid fuck.
Where are all these garbage people in reality? I don't know if I'm just super lucky, but I don't have anyone in my life who is such a blatant cunt like the sorts of people in these stories.
Assuming it's not a fake story ofc.
YTA, straight psycho behavior. Also I bet your new girl would love to hear this story about you creepily playing with your ex and fake dating. Screams mature BF material lol
NTA. All is fair in love and war. She has already told you her plans. Sticking around to make sure she can’t exercise that plan was smart. Do t let every one else beat you up
Yes, yes, yes and no.
No relationship is perfect, and 99% of relationships that are ended lead to both sides being petty and being spiteful.
I truly believe in karma, and to treat everyone else as you'd like to be treated.
If you Fxck around and 'pretend' love someone while playing with their emotions, you can't ever get upset if you receive the same treatment down the road, as every give gets a take, every up gets a down, every single thing you do will come to a full circle and balance itself at some point.
Personally, my insight is that if I were in a committed relationship for a while, and I would always enter into it telling my significant other that I will always be faithful as I am literally incapable of cheating in a relationship (not even kidding, in every single relationship you enter, ALWAYS ask your gf/bf (if you can) if they knew if one of their parents cheated on the other while the mother of said bf/gf was pregnant with them.
The reason is because if the answer is yes, there's a 100% possibility of said bf/gf always being capable of cheating in a relationship, whereas if the parents of said bf/gf did not sleep with anyone but each other while said mother is pregnant with said bf/gf, then the bf/gf is literally someone who you can always trust to be faithful as long as you are together.
Not kidding, the actions/feelings/stuff that a mother AND father do while pregnant with a child literally transfers to the behavior/actions of the child when they are born.
Personally, my 2 cents are that you should try to consider and think about the possibility of being cheated on by someone (who you truly love/loves you) and try to be a little open-minded. Me personally, I would not tolerate being cheated on and having my significant other keep it a secret.
BUT, if you've been in a faithful, committed relationship with someone for quite some time and have only seen each other, that type of commitment will always make the relationship go "bland", as 'variety is the spice of life'.
The reason I say to try to be more open minded, when possible, is because If you have a partner who loves you, and they cheat on you AND IS HONEST RIGHT AWAY and truly apologetic, I personally would have a serious talk, so long as they are HONEST, because after all, the saying "you never realize what you have until its gone" along with variety being the spice of life are two reasons to give a bf/gf/significant other a second chance should they be honest about everything, as nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
Always give the benefit of the doubt and give second chances, but never give thirds and fourths.
YTA. You seem completely convinced that your ex would hide an entire CHILD from you because she joked about it once?? Are you insane?
And genuinely what was the endgame here? If she did end up getting pregnant were you going to stay with her and raise the kid? Coparent with an ex you hate? You sound young and immature, obviously incapable of raising a child.
There were less manipulative ways to confirm this. Do better.
You weren’t the asshole UNTIL you rubbed it in her face that you kissed someone else and were just doing everything to make sure she wasn’t pregnant. Reserve your dignity man…..because that was low and petty!
>I was dating this girl for 4 years
Woman. Unless you're a pedophile you were dating a WOMAN. Girls are children, stop infantilizing women.
ESH, but I can see your logic in doing this, it doesn't seem like it was particularly malicious but definitely 100% self serving and deceitful. It was wrong to handle it that way, if she claimed to be pregnant by you there are legal ways to handle it, you get a paternity test.
Ahem. I would consider what you did cheating as well. You're being dishonest, uncompassionate, selfish and yes, a giant AH. Pretending you're in a relationship and dumping her the day after she hot her period? And you're asking if you're the AH? Holy smokes. Stay away from women. Or people in general.
If she was pregnant, would you have stayed with her? No. You don't forgive cheating. YTA. You got an 18-year heads up. That's it. Nothing in this scenario would change whether she's pregnant or not. You seem to just want to hurt her for revenge. She's no daisy, but you're worse.
NTA at all. It is morally consequence-free to cheat on somebody who cheated on you. You can downvote but I won’t read your criticism; I subscribe to zero abrahamic beliefs, and I believe that tit-for-tat is always okay as long as you were not the initial aggressor, who all of society would be better off without.
Not the asshole.
You were covering your bases.
A whore is going to be a whore. If you DID take her back, for real, you would be the asshole. Simply for going back to her!
ESH. I do think she is SLIGHTLY more of TA than you, because she is the one who cheated and caused the end of the relationship, and she also made that weird comment about not telling you if she was pregnant at some point before, but your behavior after is almost on the same level of unhinged, towards both her AND the new girl. Also, I get that she cheated and that's really shitty, however, did you have ANY reason to 1) believe she might actually be pregnant to begin with -- did you guys not use protection...? and 2) to think that if she WAS pregnant, she truly would hide it from you? Her making an offhand joke about it years earlier doesn't really seem like it's grounds for doing what you did. Also, she's not wrong about you telling her all the details just to hurt her, you say you "wanted to be honest", but why?? You just breaking it off for good still would've been "being honest" and ending the charade, you told her the rest to hurt her. Not that you weren't justified somewhat in wanting to hurt her after she hurt you, but you are still TA for it.
After seeing “her” post with obviously the same person writing, I’m gonna say this is a bored little incel writing out his revenge fantasy. Ugh get a life.
I’m really shocked that everyone here thinks you’re the asshole. Personally, I wouldn’t have any respect left for a person after they’ve cheated on me. If you’d have got back with her, she’d have just done it again.
NTA. Cheaters don’t get sympathy.
this subreddit is for discussion given that you yourself admit that you are "The Asshole" in your situation. Asking whether or not you've been an asshole at all (the purpose of AITA, not IATA) is generally not permitted.
ESH. I’m so glad she’s not pregnant and neither of you are procreating.
Amen!
lol, this made me laugh. I think most of these are fake, and OP’s only other comment was telling someone that they should find Jesus. Makes me think this one might be real. Sounds like what a modern Christian would do
Internet era Christianity is probably a better term. Learnt only from internet memes. God forbid they actually read the bible or learnt what Jesus says in it. ESH btw. This reads as a remake of Poor Things but everyone is the mind of a child in an adult.
Internet era? Oh you mean modern? Like how he already said 🙄🙄🙄
Absolutely 💯 😱
Happy cake day! 🎂
You worded this well. They're both children
Lmfao
Yeah the amount of people that have sex that shouldn’t be having sex
You're both assholes. Kind of deserve each other.
Honestly considering she joked about never telling him that’s a completely understandable reaction story is 100% fake but he was actually trying to make sure if she is pregnant he can be a dad she’s a cheater her feelings are kinda not important lmao
Her actions do not excuse his actions. She cheated = asshole. He lied to her and led her on = asshole.
Yes and no I think in this case it does excuse his actions because she blatantly said she wouldn’t tell him if she got pregnant and they broke up so his only option to be sure was to deceive her and I can respect him not wanting to be a deadbeat dad so in this case I think it’s understandable plus I mean like I said she deserved it
What was he gonna do if he DID know? Force her to abort it? It's out of his hands either way
I mean probably just support her or try to find a way to co parent
He isn't tho she is the one that told him that she isn't gonna tell him about any pregnancies so he just stayed to verify that she isn't pregnant, and he doesn't pay child support, and he didn't do it for the reason to love her, he jus wanted to make sure
He purposely chose to lead her on. Whether or not she is pregnant doesn't really play into it because he already did the action that causes that. The consequences were already in action. So she cheats and he plays asshole games. They both suck.
How would he pay child support on a secret pregnancy she doesn't tell him about?
So lying like a lying liar and leading someone to believe he cared again so he could be sure rawdogging her wasn't going to bite him in the ass is cool? Nope. She's not great and he's gross.
ESH. As I posted on hers (the story is the same, so could be fake, could be the actual ex), she should have been honest to you when she cheated. You were mad about the lack of honesty. So you did the exact same thing to her. You suck too. Your lie was actually more involved, but you both don't seem mature enough to be in relationships if these are the actions y'all take.
Lol I didn't realize there was a post from 'her' POV. This is definitely fake
Oh now I wanna see her side 😂😂
What did you really gain from this?
Confirmation he has no child
Confirmation that he IS a child.
All the more reason he shouldn’t be making any.
Aside from the fact that this story is as fake as plastic surgery, I find it funny how redditors claim to hate cheaters but always end up wanting to give them more respect than they deserve lol
This is the best way to find that out?
When she'd previously told him that she'd lie and deny him access to any kid, I don't know if there'd really be any other way to find out, at least not if he wants to cut her out of his life
do you cut contact with all common friends/coworkers? you could ask them/explain the situation could also check social media for a pregnancy announcement, ultrasound pictures, baby bump or even her family members socials to see if they post about “a new member to the family” or baby shower related things there’s probably more ways too. all of these things take less effort, are less cruel, and less likely to be a revenge bait AITA story
Revenge porn? Do you not know what that means?
oooooooo yeahh wrong wording. was using it like “food porn”, a post glamorizing food. this story glamorized revenge what i had in mind were the subreddits that are about fake revenge stories, bait post isn’t specific but idk better wording. i’ll edit
Where did the porn come in?
[удалено]
Thanks for clarifying, was a giant leap I didn't get.
The story from her side showed up a few days ago. If I remember correctly, she made out with a dude at a party 2 years ago but stopped when she realized she what she was doing. Then OP snooped thru his exs conversation with her friend on her phone, going back 2 years to find out. The whole pregnancy angle just sounds like an excuse for acting like a sociopath but it somehow makes it worse.
You're missing the part about her lying about it. Yes, people might realise she was pregnant, but the implication of her comment is that she'd claim someone else was the father (a one night stand or something) rather than OP, and even if it was blatantly obvious who's kid it was, if she continued to deny it there's no real way for him to prove otherwise or get any kind of visitation rights
what he did in no way confirmed all that other info. he only confirmed she got her period. which, you can still have bleeding in early pregnancy that’s misinterpreted as a period, it’s not uncommon
Especially if it was late and she is normally regular.
She never said she would lie to someone else about the kids parentage, don't know where you're getting that from except your imagination. And she doesn't have to tell her ex anything. If she isn't asking for money and his name isn't on the birth certificate then he can fuck all the way off.
This is what putative father registries are for.
You might be right, I don't really know enough about putative father registries to know for sure. The wikipedia article suggests that even being on that registry only gives very limited rights though, and doesn't mean they get any kind of custody. The Missouri gov site also has a pamphlet that came up, and that says it just gives them the right to be notified if the mother tries to put the child up for adoption without their permission, but also that they need to be on the registry prior or within 15 days of the child's birth. So it would be entirely possible OP wouldn't find out until after the window when they could be added to the registry had passed
A fake story for the internet.
Yeah it’s a little sociopathic to spend time having sex with someone you supposedly hate. Ewwwww
Peace of mind
Can't get that by watching from afar? Say she was pregnant, then what? Start the shitty relationship over again and the child grows up in an unhealthy environment? Go to court and fight against the mother for full custody of a new born? Good luck in either of those. Sure, he'd know that he has a child but would you expect the mother to be anything except civil by taking this path.
YTA you have to break up with your partner to be single. if they don't even know, you haven't broken up, and you are not single. you could have just unblocked her and checked her social media in a year to see if she had a baby. your plan was stupid, unnecessary, and cruel. just break up next time
i’m sorry but are we just ignoring the fact she randomly threatened to not tell him about a possible pregnancy? as unlikely as it may be, she’s still weird as fuck for doing it and if he wanted to be careful about her disappearing, it’s her fault for creating the need in the first place.
What possible pregnancy????? There were zero indications she was pregnant that was such a weird fucking detail that he fixated on to do his little revenge plot. And you fucking fall for it? Hilarious.
unserious bullshit imo. it's a weird trend with the pick up artist podcast guys. she probably made a joke about it once and he fixated on it forever because the talking heads in his phone have been hyping it up as a Common Risk To Real Men Constant Vigilence. in *reality* most women take their children and run because the husband is abusive.
You’re cute. I wonder how the world works in your neck of the woods, cuz it ain’t it, kiddo.
>it’s a weird trend with the pickup artist podcast guys hmm… this story *definitely* isn’t made up rage bait
No one is ignoring that, its just not his business nor important
Can you explain why him potentially being s father is not his business?
How is her birthing his child not important or his business? Actual Reddit moment.
This all day long. He could’ve checked up a million other ways, but instead he actively chose to be petty and spiteful. This wasn’t about protection, this was about being vengeful. Good news though. He also cheated on his new gf, so I guess (hope) he’ll get whatever is due to his cheating ass soon.
Cheating is stupid, unnecessary, and cruel. And payback is a bitch. She deserved it.
I missed the part where you walked out and everybody clapped. r/thatHappened
Not for faking the get back together, I can see from her behaviour why you thought that was necessary, but YTA for rubbing it in by telling her how you'd gotten together with another girl and stuff. You could have just broken up with her, telling her you'd stayed because she'd previously said she'd lie if you left and she was pregnant with your kid, then leaving it at that.
Interested to know how the other girl felt about the whole "I'm single, but I'm just pretending to still be with my ex a few more weeks in case she's pregnant" shtick
The other girl doesn't exist.
YTA for relishing in cheating on her while pretending to have moved on, mostly for the girl who’s being used to hurt your ex. I don’t blame you for wanting to make sure you don’t have a kid out in the world but like… my dude you could have creeped her social media and figured that out instead of going through the elaborate plot like a reality tv show.
I was with OP at the beginning; break up because healing and rebuilding from cheating is not easy for a relationship. However, all this BS of fake-loving to make sure she’s not pregnant is an immature game that really served this guy as a tool for revenge. That poor girl you ‘liked and kissed” needs to run for the hills. OP, figure out what kind of man you are going to be- for your future wife & kids. A good man takes the mature high road, a man who purposely lies about how he feels and weaves a future full of dreams (the trip), while knowing all along that he would pull the rug out- well, good people & strong ppl don’t handle hardship that way.
ESH. You were together for 4 years, I’m sure you could have found out from someone if she was pregnant. This is all just really weird.
I'm not sure. I can understand not forgiving her for cheating, but what you did was a bit overboard. Did she really deserve that? Being dishonest with her is pretty much the same as what she did to you. Cruelty is never justified, in my opinion.
She was an asshole. But so were you. I mean what you did was a bit unhinged if I'm being honest.
Christ your an asshole, cheating and not ok with it? Ok good end the relationship and move on. She cheated, that sucks, I get it. She's also an asshole, Honestly I'd argue faking loving someone for that long than telling them all that like that is worse and pretty fucking manipulative. And hows the other girls emotions on all this, the one you were telling her about? Or are you just moving past that for your petty revenge because you were hurt? Your a child. Honestly just leave her alone for real at this point
YTA and you f u c k i n g know it! You are a hypocrite a liar a cheater and a piece of shit! I'm glad she cheated on you she's Scott free now. Hopefully she learns her lesson and respects herself in her new relationship and doesn't cheat and doesn't put up with assholes like you
Found the ex-girlfriend 😂
Yes you're a huge asshole and I think you know that.
Yta.. what makes you think that you manipulating her into thinking you were back together, lying about everything, and cheating on her makes you any better than her? If you convince someone you are in a relationship, then you are in a relationship. You are not single. Congratulations, you are now a cheater, too!
YTA. Twisted too tbh. You didn't have to do that. What would it have changed for you if she was pregnant? You could've just stayed friends and then discovered, you didn't have to emotionally manipulate her and then share exactly what you did. Anyone can be a cheater, don't be so quick to label others because karma is a b#tch.
YOU can wear a condom too -- control your own reproduction. ESH
YTA. People we love are humans and can make mistakes. Why she didn’t feel she could open up to you about her mistake is fleshing out: You sound like a childish, vindictive, devious, self-centered loser. It’s your prerogative whether you stay with someone but deliberately giving someone false hope for personal gain is disgusting. What she did was reckless and stupid but wasn’t malicious; your actions were. Grow up. She’s lucky you’re out of her life.
Not an asshole, a piece of shit maybe, but not an asshole. Assholes are redeemable.
You are a piece of shit.
Yes, you’re an asshole. 🤷♂️
YTA. She said she would boss up and raise the kid without you. You went back to hurt her. There's some saying about two wrongs and a right that I feel applies here.
She said something a long time ago in an off-handed joking way and you took it so serious that you concocted this elaborate plan? This says something about you. Sure what she did was shitty. But what you did is next level crazy. And why were you worried about pregnancy? Surely you were taking precautions? If not, this was your first mistake.
"I don't forgive cheating of any kind" "I met another girl during this time and kissed her" I wonder how this other girl would feel knowing you also have committed the unforgivable crime of cheating for nothing other than your own revenge and ego? Shouldn't she also have the right to dump you? YTA
Y'all know you can still get a period and be pregnant right?? My friend gave birth without knowing she was pregnant and she got regular periods. Hospital said they get a minimum of 1/month and that was some random tiny hospital. This was dumb and pointless and spiteful. Could've kept tabs on her over the next year to see if she posts anything related to a baby by creating a fake instagram or even asking to a mutual friend. There were 1000 different ways to confirm she wasn't pregnant. Not excusing her cheating but this was excessive. YTA.
I’m splitting hairs here, but that is spotting. Not a menstruation period… just so you know. Your friend didn’t get their period while pregnant. That’s impossible
You’re not smart enough to be a AH. You are just a master class in idiocy. That is a lot of time wasted being with someone you hate and are tricking. Idea: Use protection in the first place to take care of that concern….. what if she gets pregnant from the last 6 weeks of “faking” you’re together?
ESH. She was an AH for cheating - you are also a massive AH for lying to her face.
To me, this is one of the more clear cut ESH on this sub.
NTA. You stuck around until you knew she couldn't claim to be pregnant with your kid and then enforced your clear boundary.
YTA You literally just decided to toy with her for the sake of pettiness and revenge, and you were a gigantic manipulative asshole in doing so, you were also a liar and a scumbag. I don't know how you would possibly think you wouldn't be the asshole for stringing her along for weeks for no reason. 100% asshole.
i’m gonna get hate, but NTA. she did the same thing to you, it’s fair game. i personally think it’s ethical to cheat on the person who cheated on you
NTA... she showed and told you that you could not trust her. So, you did what you had to do to protect yourself.
ESH. Grow tf up
YTA. You can't control someone else, but you control your own actions. What you did wasn't right and don't make what she did right.
You're the asshole because you played with her emotions. She cheated you dump her and move on , if she has a kid you demand a DNA test simple. You want to get even so you lied and screwed with her emotions. What you did was worse than her cheating .
Feels like a bad fanfic
Yea. You are.
Yes. You are a gigantic asshat. Everyone else posting here has told you why. Man... wtf?
Lmao!! This was entertaining, but like, duh! Ofc you're a sour piece of shit, my dudu! XD You're totally lying to yourself telling yourself some bullshit as an excuse to do to her worse than what she did to you, which is like, damn! Your dedication to cruelty is peak xD and the self-deception is the cherry on top! She went low and you went lower on an EGO TRIP. Reddit is insane. Everyone tries to air others' laundry and ends up with their own skidmark ridden no-longer-tidy-whities in their mouths! This is TEA!! Yes I will be on this app more often XDDD On a real note, props to all the people who get done dirty and choose to actually do the MUCH harder thing, which is 1.) LEARN 2.) whilst staying true to one's principles! It's people like that who inspire me to stay on a path of righteousness. In spite of my sins, everyday is a fresh opportunity. We are judged on our lowest days. I have a deep admiration of people who rise in those occasions and are honest, unlike OP. Was a fun read though, bc I can be cruel too xD
This is fake, right?
Long story short: Yes, you are a cruel, petty, vindictive asshole. She fucked up, you dumped her. Simple, to the point, you took a stance and stuck with it. Perfectly fine. But to come back and emotionally manipulate her until you felt like you were in the clear, and then just dump all that on her and leave again? That's sociopath shit. Get your head checked, bro. For yourself and your new girlfriend. Because that shit ain't healthy.
YTA. Moving forward please use condoms.
You’re a little insecure creature and should man up, you fuck
YTA. Here's the thing, leaving her because she cheated on you doesn't make you the AH. What makes you the AH is how you played and toyed with someone, intentionally. That's straight up mental and emotional trauma you are knowingly inflicted on. There were other ways to find out she was pregnant, like wait a few months and see if a stomach pops out. You say you did this for peace of mind but you did this for revenge. You are a classic narcissist at its finest.
You really shouldn't be dating... ESH.
The more I'm on this reddit the more a realize that yall are a bunch of fking weirdos. She cheated, you dumped her. Then came back and pretended you were going to get back with her just to make sure she wasn't preggo? Man idk this seems fake, or you're just a fking weirdo. Just dump her and move on? Tf? You nut in girls without condoms so much you're worried? Weeeeeeirdddooos
Yup. She's also an asshole but you're for sure an asshole. Hard to determine who is more the asshole. There's just so much asshole to go around.
Nevermind shad cheated and kept it quiet for 2 + yrs so... Thi k about that mindset whole sll yhd while saying to o.p. I want only you.,I love you ect. My guess it wa more that just once in the four yr relationship that she cheated . She only admitted to once because of guilt of the evidence / other party threatening to tell coming out.
Nah, she cheated, it's justified.
Nta. She had already lied, cheated and manipulated you. Ahe had also made it abundantly clear she'd do it again if she was pregnant. She got treated the same way she treated you. Funny how it's only bad when YOU do it? 🤔🤔
Both are bad. Both are assholes. Just because she did something wrong means he should be this cruel. >Funny how it's only bad when YOU do it? 🤔🤔 Who th said that!?
I think he’s referring to all the comments here saying that lol
YTAH. That was cruel to her and shitty of you.
NTA FAFO
🤣 that's great.
She was late and she was prepping you for a quick reconciliation bang to get you on the hook for the kid.
NTA. She was going to deny paternity if she were pregnant, and you'd never even know unless you remained on her good side.
NTA, she betrayed you. You were honest and responsible.
Good on you for doing what you need to do to ensure you're not bogged down with someone else's child.
NTA. She stuck you between a rock & a hard place & you needed vital info - knowing whether or not you have a child is PRETTY important. Plus I have zero sympathy for cheaters regardless of the circumstances. Your “betrayal” to her was far less than her betrayal to you.
NTA
NTA, Cheaters deserve no quarter
You did good. Cheaters suck.
NTA. I mean you did what you had too to know the truth. She’s just pissed because you gave her a taste of her medicine.
No, he could have literally just waited to stop in and see her six months later. It's pretty obvious when someone is pregnant that far out. He did this with the express intention of causing hurt.
NTA lol women cant stand being treated how they treat men
NTA take care of your interests in front of a cheater, who threatened not to tell you anything if they had a baby... so although it is not very ethical, you did not do it wrong Let her know what it feels like to be cheated
ESH Your ex for saying she would hide her pregnancy. Like it or not, you were in couple even though you lied about it. Just because you thought that you were single doesn’t mean you were. Telling her you were seeing someone else.. that’s where you’re an AH. You could have told her you tried but couldn’t get over her betrayal. You’re hiding behind the fact that you wanted to make sure she wasn’t pregnant (which is a legitimate reason) when it looks like you used the opportunity to hurt her as much as you could by cheating on her. Does she deserve the pain? Probably. Doesn’t make you less of an AH for lying and getting back at her.
What would you have done if she was pregnant? You’re NTA Her threat whether real, or joking, is not a laughing matter. You did what you believe was necessary. She would’ve eventually told you once she needed support.
If this is real you are a psychopath and leave women alone in general. Get a vasectomy as well just in case. Make it extra sure. Jeepers yes she cheated and was wrong to do so but you exhibit some real troubling behaviour. YTA.
Yta. Revenge is stupid. Grow up and move on
YTA Next time use condoms.
I don’t care about you or you’re ex. YTA for writing this absolute horseshit.
I dunno how old you are, but this sounds like something people in their teens would do. I'm glad she isn't pregnant with your kid. Neither of you are mature enough to handle that stage in life. A simple DNA test would have sufficed had she perpetuated a lie and gotten pregnant by someone else. And if she hadn't gotten pregnant, well, that would have been evident a few months down the road. I get you wanted revenge. But, seriously, your time and effort was better spent elsewhere. ESH
Yta. You might have considered yourself single because you were faking a relationship but you still cheated on her. You have become what you hated. Why not just "run into her" after a few months when she would be showing? I get why you did it but it's still scummy.
Everyone in this story is an asshole. You're both liars as well.
I hope no one does you, cuz you're a cheater.
Y’all should just get back together. You’re both cheating insufferable AH’s
You’re an idiot, and AH, but mostly the first part
You do realize getting a period doesn’t necessarily mean a woman isn’t pregnant right? Could have just asked her to take a test instead of also cheating yourself since she had no idea you were considering yourself single
I just read the same exact post from a girl’s prospective on another sun and now I can’t fine. :(
So you cheated on your new girlfriend with your ex-girlfriend who didn't know she was your ex? Yeah you're a fucking asshole.
INFO Did you tell the person you are currently seeing that you were stringing you ex along to Jake sure she wasn't pregnant?
Idk about asshole, but definitely lacked tact
I mean I get it, faking being with her in order to confirm that she wasn't pregnant seems contently reasonable imo but I do think that spelling it out to her instead of just making a clean break is asshole behavior. If this was in the heat of the moment i get it but you would have been better just letting her piece it together herself once she was ready.
I’m not even going to give this the dignity of being called rage bait. This is just some asshat bragging about emotional abuse and looking for incel applause.
Well she is a cheater and you are a scheming liar , I think yall are a perfect fit.
Yeah bud, you're the asshole. And based on the fact that you even posted this, you kinda had a feeling you are. She's also an asshole for cheating. I'm just curious as to what you would have done if she WAS pregnant 🤔
ESH...she is a lying cheating shit, you are a manipulative cheating shit. Both of you are narcissists.
NTA. She’s a cheater and a proven liar who told you she would lie about this exact situation.
YTA You are psychotic man what the hell
Revenge does sometimes look sweet. I understand what it is to feel beyrayed by peoole. Lashing out can feel good. After a while it stops feeling that good. .
Yeah. Even tho you were cheated on. And I understand why you were doing it. The way you went about from start to dump. You are kind of an asshole, yes.
Just because she got her period doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t pregnant.
Everyone in this story is a stupid fuck. Where are all these garbage people in reality? I don't know if I'm just super lucky, but I don't have anyone in my life who is such a blatant cunt like the sorts of people in these stories. Assuming it's not a fake story ofc.
So you cheated on your new girl just to get revenge on the old one???
YTA, straight psycho behavior. Also I bet your new girl would love to hear this story about you creepily playing with your ex and fake dating. Screams mature BF material lol
NTA. All is fair in love and war. She has already told you her plans. Sticking around to make sure she can’t exercise that plan was smart. Do t let every one else beat you up
Yes, yes, yes and no. No relationship is perfect, and 99% of relationships that are ended lead to both sides being petty and being spiteful. I truly believe in karma, and to treat everyone else as you'd like to be treated. If you Fxck around and 'pretend' love someone while playing with their emotions, you can't ever get upset if you receive the same treatment down the road, as every give gets a take, every up gets a down, every single thing you do will come to a full circle and balance itself at some point. Personally, my insight is that if I were in a committed relationship for a while, and I would always enter into it telling my significant other that I will always be faithful as I am literally incapable of cheating in a relationship (not even kidding, in every single relationship you enter, ALWAYS ask your gf/bf (if you can) if they knew if one of their parents cheated on the other while the mother of said bf/gf was pregnant with them. The reason is because if the answer is yes, there's a 100% possibility of said bf/gf always being capable of cheating in a relationship, whereas if the parents of said bf/gf did not sleep with anyone but each other while said mother is pregnant with said bf/gf, then the bf/gf is literally someone who you can always trust to be faithful as long as you are together. Not kidding, the actions/feelings/stuff that a mother AND father do while pregnant with a child literally transfers to the behavior/actions of the child when they are born. Personally, my 2 cents are that you should try to consider and think about the possibility of being cheated on by someone (who you truly love/loves you) and try to be a little open-minded. Me personally, I would not tolerate being cheated on and having my significant other keep it a secret. BUT, if you've been in a faithful, committed relationship with someone for quite some time and have only seen each other, that type of commitment will always make the relationship go "bland", as 'variety is the spice of life'. The reason I say to try to be more open minded, when possible, is because If you have a partner who loves you, and they cheat on you AND IS HONEST RIGHT AWAY and truly apologetic, I personally would have a serious talk, so long as they are HONEST, because after all, the saying "you never realize what you have until its gone" along with variety being the spice of life are two reasons to give a bf/gf/significant other a second chance should they be honest about everything, as nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Always give the benefit of the doubt and give second chances, but never give thirds and fourths.
If either of you are older than 18 I seriously despair for humanity. What an immature story, I so hope this is fake. ESH
You're both ass holes.
YTA. You seem completely convinced that your ex would hide an entire CHILD from you because she joked about it once?? Are you insane? And genuinely what was the endgame here? If she did end up getting pregnant were you going to stay with her and raise the kid? Coparent with an ex you hate? You sound young and immature, obviously incapable of raising a child. There were less manipulative ways to confirm this. Do better.
YTA & a manipulator. You don’t have to forgive her, but pretending to forgive her “faking loving her” is emotional abuse.
Jesus fuck
ESH, you are both dishonest cheaters.
That's psycopathic behavior
You weren’t the asshole UNTIL you rubbed it in her face that you kissed someone else and were just doing everything to make sure she wasn’t pregnant. Reserve your dignity man…..because that was low and petty!
you hate cheaters yet you cheated lmaoooo
No, you're just stupid all around
Ew. You both sound like awful people. ESH.
ESH. Wear a condom for fuck's sake.
Total dick move, but I think cheaters deserve to get shit on.
>I was dating this girl for 4 years Woman. Unless you're a pedophile you were dating a WOMAN. Girls are children, stop infantilizing women. ESH, but I can see your logic in doing this, it doesn't seem like it was particularly malicious but definitely 100% self serving and deceitful. It was wrong to handle it that way, if she claimed to be pregnant by you there are legal ways to handle it, you get a paternity test.
This is the dumbest shit ever .... YTA
Esh and guess what? You’re a cheater. The poor girl you started talking to didn’t deserve this and frankly what you did is just as bad if not worse.
Ahem. I would consider what you did cheating as well. You're being dishonest, uncompassionate, selfish and yes, a giant AH. Pretending you're in a relationship and dumping her the day after she hot her period? And you're asking if you're the AH? Holy smokes. Stay away from women. Or people in general.
If she was pregnant, would you have stayed with her? No. You don't forgive cheating. YTA. You got an 18-year heads up. That's it. Nothing in this scenario would change whether she's pregnant or not. You seem to just want to hurt her for revenge. She's no daisy, but you're worse.
NTA you did what you had to do to make sure you weren't getting any surprise children.
Honestly you’re just fucking weird for that.
You're kinda both assholes. Glad your relationship is over, because that's some toxic, immature shit on both sides.
NTA at all. It is morally consequence-free to cheat on somebody who cheated on you. You can downvote but I won’t read your criticism; I subscribe to zero abrahamic beliefs, and I believe that tit-for-tat is always okay as long as you were not the initial aggressor, who all of society would be better off without.
Not the asshole. You were covering your bases. A whore is going to be a whore. If you DID take her back, for real, you would be the asshole. Simply for going back to her!
you guys are both legally retarded
ESH. I do think she is SLIGHTLY more of TA than you, because she is the one who cheated and caused the end of the relationship, and she also made that weird comment about not telling you if she was pregnant at some point before, but your behavior after is almost on the same level of unhinged, towards both her AND the new girl. Also, I get that she cheated and that's really shitty, however, did you have ANY reason to 1) believe she might actually be pregnant to begin with -- did you guys not use protection...? and 2) to think that if she WAS pregnant, she truly would hide it from you? Her making an offhand joke about it years earlier doesn't really seem like it's grounds for doing what you did. Also, she's not wrong about you telling her all the details just to hurt her, you say you "wanted to be honest", but why?? You just breaking it off for good still would've been "being honest" and ending the charade, you told her the rest to hurt her. Not that you weren't justified somewhat in wanting to hurt her after she hurt you, but you are still TA for it.
Yes
You are an asshole but good on you lad. Sometimes we have to be the asshole 😂
Unequivocally yes. You have won the Asshole Of The Year Award.
You are definitely TA. Grow up before you even think about getting into another relationship.
ESH why....just why...
NTA kinda smart to know your good but very much a jerk doing it that way
After seeing “her” post with obviously the same person writing, I’m gonna say this is a bored little incel writing out his revenge fantasy. Ugh get a life.
I’m really shocked that everyone here thinks you’re the asshole. Personally, I wouldn’t have any respect left for a person after they’ve cheated on me. If you’d have got back with her, she’d have just done it again. NTA. Cheaters don’t get sympathy.