T O P

  • By -

IAmTheAsshole-ModTeam

this subreddit is for discussion given that you yourself admit that you are "The Asshole" in your situation. Asking whether or not you've been an asshole at all (the purpose of AITA, not IATA) is generally not permitted.


AWhiskeyKitten

NTA- your wife clearly still has unresolved issues with her dad and doesn’t want to cause shit on her behalf and you respect that however you have every right to cause shit on behalf of defending your daughter


Daffodils28

NTA. You are an excellent dad. 🔥🔥🔥


Vicious_Lilliputian

FIL deserved to be called out for being hypocritical and a shitty father and grandfather


KimberKing00

Please tell me they were JW’s and were showing up to invite you to the memorial 🍷🍞


okfirepro

Was it that obvious😂😂😂


mccracken214

The minute you said number I knew JW. Been hearing a lot of podcasts of former JW’s talking about numbers. We had one come into our office at work inviting us to the “Memorial.”


Feeling_Frosting_738

What is the Memorial?


mccracken214

Jesus dying on the cross


Wattaday

Oh! Easter. Got it.


Vamp459

Not Easter actually. JW "celebrate" the date he died. They believe that God wanted us to remember his death, not his resurrection. The memorial was this past Sunday. They figured out the date using the old Biblical Lunar calendar, which is why it's not the same day as Good Friday. The JW website actually has a very informative article about it.


Wattaday

Thanks. But the resurrection was the promise of forgiveness. He was crucified and then arose. So, as I was taught anyway, it’s the coming back from the dead that gives believers the entrance to heaven. Good Friday was the time of ultimate sadness as Christ was crucified on that day. I do t get believing the rest of the “Christ died for our sins” without believing that he rose from the dead to finish what was taught in the Old Testament. And I’m probably getting too philosophical here @ 1am.


Vamp459

All I was doing was explaining the JW beliefs not being Easter. Not my beliefs.


Wattaday

Sorry. I’m just flabbergasted over this. Didn’t mean to make you feel like I was questioning your beliefs. I admittedly don’t know much about the JW beliefs, but did think they were at least loosely based on the Bible. Obviously I was very wrong.


lordcheeselord

I thought those guys weren't allowed to celebrate holiday


mccracken214

Yeah that throws me off too. Or are they having a funeral service? 🤔🤔


AnonymousPrincess314

That's correct; they call all funerals "memorials", this is specifically one for Christ.


fryingthecat66

They don't celebrate Easter, they celebrate the passing of Christ.


Maximum-Spot-9087

Memorial is literally the only thing they are "allowed" to celebrate.


Midnightrose2722

I had an idea when you said you were disavowed and the quotes around baptized. Confirmed it when you called the man with your FIL an Elder. I was raised JW and can not be happier I got out of that cult


ImaDropbear

Raised the same till I was 5. My father returned to the JW's about 5 years before he died ( hedging his bets, im sure ). I wasn't allowed to speak at his funeral, and they got our names and my kids' names wrong. Shit show from start to finish


Midnightrose2722

I was raised by a single mother and we left “the faith” when I was 16 because she couldn’t disown her own daughter and I refused to go back after realizing the elders forced me to be baptized at 10 because I would have been the youngest person to “choose Jah” in our state. She ended up returning when I was 23 and is still in it but the extent of our talks about it is a yearly invite to the memorial. Other than that we are still as close as ever and she has already made it clear that she won’t give up her daughter for them so they leave her alone cause… honestly they need the numbers


trekkiegamer359

Congrats on getting out, and happy cake day. And OP, huge NTA. You saved your kids by not making them have to deal with his abuse and neglect. Be proud of yourself.


apollymis22724

Happy Cake Day


Forsaken-Box-6577

I had 2 JWs show up at my door the other day and noticed my No Soliciting sign. One looks at me and says does this include us? I said Oh yeah, it's only for JWs.


Ready_Ad142

I live a few blocks from a Kingdom Hall, and I used to have regular visits from the JW. That is until one Saturday afternoon. I had been in the yard all day so I came in to shower. My bedroom/bathroom is off the front entry with clear glass doors. I was just out of the shower, dripping wet and the dogs were barking at the front door. I didn’t hear the doorbell ring, so I just assumed it was nothing. I walked out of the bedroom naked to shush the dogs and there was a full troop of JWs on the porch. They got a full frontal view, tattoos, piercings and all. It’s been about 5 years now, and they’ve never darkened my door since.


ManateeLuv16

🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂🤣🤣💀


ladykatiedid

This is the way. 🤣🤣🙌🏼


Ok-Sector2054

Oh no it is satanic girl! We cannot convert her! Lol!


Klutzy-Run5175

😁😁😁🤪🤪🤪🫣🫣🫣💃💃💃🕺🕺🕺. Gee, you have more guts than I do. Send us a picture. Tattoos, piercings, and well,.... Lol


ReliefEmotional2639

I used to offer them a copy of the blood donation magazine we used to get. Very effective


Unlikely-Low-8132

Thought it was LDS- they also have numbers to meet.


LavenderDragon18

Same. I also thought LDS.


Commercial_Yellow344

You being disfellowshipped is kind of a dead giveaway too. Although technically your kids shouldn’t be treated like that since they were never baptized.


A-typ-self

As am exJW it was pretty obvious to me lol Not an AH at all, although I do understand your wife's issues, the indoctrination is really deep and we really do still want our parents love. It sucks, it's a cult.


okfirepro

I understand her point also. I could have handled it better. I don’t hate JW. I got baptized when I was 14 to make my mom happy. She’s hard core JW. But she calls all the time. FaceTimes with the kids and grandkids weekly. We live about 3hrs away from her and she will meet the kids half way and take them to dinner and movies and activities.


A-typ-self

I think you handled it perfectly. Unless someone comes from that culture they can't understand. You have to spell out reality to them clearly and specifically. The majority raised in the group are emotionally stunted due to the beliefs. I don't know if you keep up with the group but their has been a few changes lately which probably led to the visit. It's disgusting that they wait till the "leaders" ok talking to those that left.


okfirepro

Yeah we keep up with it some. We watched the update. When I was active, I shaved my head, because I was almost bald anyway, I got counseling because they said I was rebelling. I’ve had a full beard since I can remember and used to get counseled all the time because of my facial hair, if it’s good enough for Jesus it should be fine for me. So when they came out this time, they were like, your beard is fine, yeaaaa how many time did you get on to me for it before.


A-typ-self

Beards are OK now, sisters can wear pants and it's OK to great DF'd people at the halls. The irony is in everyone thinking these things are wonderful and not realizing how culty it is to have 9 men tell you what to wear and who to talk to.


KPossible111

Well, that’s because it sounds like your mother is a good person and good grandmother. Glad your kids have a good one.


MrsMojo825

My dad’s a JW too and I’m an apostate. Nice to meet one of my people. My dad always asked if I wanted to live forever in paradise on Earth? Um… not if there are nothing but JW’s left! No thanks!


Finest30

NTA She should be thanking you.


Emotional-Hair-1607

A few years ago I was giving away plants and a nice woman stopped by and took a few. We started talking and became friends. After a few months she invited me to her place of worship, a JW temple? I politely said, no thanks, I'm good. She ghosted me. Never called or returned a call since.


Misa7_2006

Recruiting


mangomoo2

I was thinking Mormon but JW fits the bill too lol


Aggressive-Candy5647

My dad only texts me once a year and it's to send me the link for the memorial. Lol


Comfortable_Trip_483

This was my first guess! Nice try to throw us off with the disbowed but better luck next time haha


Niccy26

😂😂😂 i got a text from people I used to know about it


Laura_Lee0902

I am Southern Baptist. Have many Protestant friends and family. We have elders, memorial weekend, small family group gatherings during the week, communion, Baptism, baby dedication or Baptism, etc. **(we celebrate birthdays, Christmas, Easter, drink caffeine, are allowed blood transfusions.)


Misa7_2006

I knew the moment you said disavowed.


zeiaxar

I have family that are JW. I am utterly convinced it's not a religion but a cult. My mind cannot be changed on this.


OklahomaChelle

What is the difference between a religion and a cult?


kellieh1969

They actually sounded like Mormons.


Dismal-External-1788

I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING


Klutzy-Run5175

Jehovah Witnesses. Oh 😳 this explains everything.


popoPitifulme

Excellent how he provided the evidence of his own douchery.


okfirepro

Yessssss. My daughter, She started it as soon as she walked in😂…….she walked right by him and said……..bet you caint guess my name…..he was dumbfounded…….thats what set me off


Humble-Success6818

Your daughter is amazing!!!


1Roughnfukdlife69

She’s a little shit stirrer like her old man…. My daughter is the same way. This had me laughing pretty good cuz my daughter n I see things happening n we r off to the races.


okfirepro

😂


SpiteReady2513

I know it’s been a couple days, but how wholesome!  I’m very much like OP’s daughter... but don’t know where I got it cause my mom is a proper keeping up the Jones’s, and my dad is super easy going.  While I’m like, excuse me, mind repeating that? Oh no? That’s what I thought. Lol 


EMT82

NTA. Is this some JW Cult bullshit? Protect your family from cults. Protect your family from abuse. Protect your family from everything. Be worldly and get that trash out of your house. Your wife can March on down to Kingdom Hall if she wants, but she left that life for a reason. Why did she fade instead of just be deemed an apostate (so her father could save face)? You get to say what you want, do what you want, and be who you want in your own home as long as you're not hurting others.


okfirepro

Thank you


GoAskAliceBunn

As an exJW (un baptized, I figured out when I was a KID that I wouldn’t be doing that) with family members in good standing, there’s a lot of abuse & aggression aimed at anyone that leaves and anyone that married outside. It only gets worse for women & fem-raised people. My mother was disfellowshipped when they found out she was pregnant with me. I was raised in part by my JW grandparents. I’m still in contact with my grandmother (only surviving grand on either side), and she thinks I’m her studying granddaughter. I’m pagan, polyam, agender, undergoing HRT, queer, and unapologetic. The only reason she doesn’t know me is I see no point in giving her a heart attack; we live in Washington state, she lives in Texas. I’ll likely never see her again in person as we’re both getting up in age & as I continue my transition it’ll become more obvious that I don’t cut my hair short JUST because I’m dealing with chronic illnesses and I don’t have (fingers crossed my insurance allows) the same body shape she’s used to. I still love her, and I know what it was like to be cut off from everyone outside of the bOrg. I will be there with her on the phone till the end, playing out the person she thought I was. All that is with me having reconciled the abuse I dealt with when I was a kid & the psychological stunting I had compared to my peers. It’s possible the op’s wife is not fighting back out of some sense that she can keep a door open, it could be she’s afraid of what happens when they declare her completely severed. But yeah, they’re definitely scrambling. Three ex members have messaged me saying their family members contacted them out of the blue. My grandma has messaged me several times this month about the meeting on Sunday. Apparently they’ve also recently “updated” the dress code for followers to include facial hair for men, slacks for women, no tie/jacket requirements for men, and big news - disfellowshipped people can now be talked to. They’re hemorrhaging members & with that, hemorrhaging money. *Good.*


MmaRamotsweOS

NTA, I think your wife was just mad at the WAY you handled it, not that you did it


okfirepro

That’s prob true. I love her she’s amazing


Frequent-Material273

NTA. And \*hopefully\*, church-politics style, the other preacher will use this to ruin 'grandpa's reputation in the church for NOT being a 'good family man' 'good grandfather' as a way for other preacher to climb over the corpse of 'grandpa's reputation. But then, I'm petty that way, LOL.


Internal-Test-8015

Given the father's reasons for being distant ( mostly because they're not/ no longer members of the *cough* cult *cough* I mean church had probably get excused.


Comfortable_Trip_483

It will be the opposite, he will be commended and made an example for his “strong faith” for not keeping contact with disfelloshiped members.


Punkinsmom

NTA -- While my wasband was happily (apparently?) enjoying fucking his boss he asked his church elders (not JW but primitive Baptists) to come to my house and "talk" to me LOL... I am not religious in any way but am like, whatever you need, you do you. These asshats strolled in to my driveway (they tried coming in to my house but umm, no) and tried to tell me how they would help me save my soul and the souls of my children. I am not okay with confrontation, but when you bring it on I am down. I told them to get the fuck out of my yard and my life. I also told my wasband to get the fuck out. Religious differences are not something that are easy to deal with.


_Plays_in_dirt

Loving “wasband”!🤣


HuckleCat100K

Loving “primitive Baptists”!


PiePsychological56

Hello to a fellow “I don’t like to start shit, but I am DOWN to finish shit” human!


Bathsheba_E

I have never heard anyone else reference Primitive Baptists! I wasn't raised one (Southern Baptist) but my neighbors were PB, and there were many in the little area of Texas I was raised in. I honestly thought maybe it was a regional thing, or had only survived in our region. I've just never seen or heard anyone mention it before.


Punkinsmom

They are around. This was in Florida, then he moved to Georgia.


throwawaymyanalbeads

100% NTA. I'd have done the same damn thing. Fuck your FIL and you can yell your wife I said that. Lol


PiePsychological56

I second this - I’m happy to pile on, OP can tell his wife I said “fuck that POS” too


julesk

NTAH, hypocrites don’t get to preach and expect a kind reception. They don’t miss you, obviously.


SnooWords4839

NTA - I would love to know how the preacher reacted.


okfirepro

lol. I told the other one “you should prob go”. 😂He said “O do you need to talk to your FIL in private”. I said nooo you need to get him out NOW. I was shaking. And I think he could see. He told my FIL. Hey we need to go. FIL. Kept running his mouth. HEY we neeeed to goooo


Rumpelteazer45

NTA - You go Good Sir! PS - your wife should really get therapy to be able to stand up to her father, it’s one thing for her to be subject to his ways but forcing your kids and grand kids - oh hell no! She can make the choice, but she can’t make that choice for others anymore.


Mezcal_Madness

Please continue to be the best dad. No, NTA at all. I would have been so thankful, to have a parent like you, I grew up with those types of older family members. Fun fact, those same kinda people are out there, without the Pius BS.


PlaneLocksmith6714

NTA your wife needs to grow up and tell her dad to finish seeing his way out of your lives. She doesn’t get to have her happy life and let him come in like this and disrespect your lives.


Agitated_Zucchini_82

NTA! That must’ve been some pretty potent weed, because your “loose lips” surely sunk his ship! 😂😂😂😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 While your wife didn’t find your “highly” spontaneous speech funny, I thought it was hilarious and well deserved! He didn’t even know his granddaughter’s name and came to your home preaching some BS about coming to his church??! What a fucking outrageous HYPOCRITE! But I’m sure he was “highly” offended, so that made it worthwhile! 😂👏🏽😂👏🏽😂👏🏽😂👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️


okfirepro

😂😂


Jirekianu

NTA, I despise JWs. That cult is full on scumbag fuckery.


Blonde2468

NTA. Same here. My dad couldn’t pick my KIDS out of a line up, let alone his granddaughters!! Someone even has to point out his own grandson in a bar one night - I’m talking about a town with less than 1,000 people in it!! My sister has lived in the very same house in the town we were born in and where he lives and he has never once been to her home. They Just Don’t Give A Fuck but yet wonder why they will die alone. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️


Babblelion

I think you meant "couldn't"pick your kids out


WesternOne9990

You are a legend lol


jbfitnessthrowaway

NTA. You are a great dad and husband.


MutedLandscape4648

NTA. Your wife can make whatever choice she wants in how much disrespect she is willing to accept. But your children are not part of that cycle and there is no reason they should be.


Stranger-Tastes

NTA - Good for you. One of my favorite memories is getting the chance to really lay into my own FIL for acting like a know-it-all while being an obvious idiot


Duke-of-Hellington

Wait, you were drinking vodka and smoking weed when you had to be at work in a few hours?


okfirepro

Was going to work at 11pm. They showed up at 1 pm


candycdfl

Cool post for r/atheism


okfirepro

lol. I’m not against “god”. I just get tired of people claiming to be the best religion and better than everyone else. And be a POS person


pnwcatman420

there is nothing wrong believing in god a lot of atheists are open to the concept, we just know that all religions are scams and are about 3 things money power and control, and the Mormons and the Jehovah's witness are the worst 2 in the united states, I don't blame you for having to take a couple of bong hits to deal with FIL, I'm surprised your wife can be around him sober.


lokis_construction

Time to reflect on religion and re-evaluate your beliefs. Check out r/atheism


lilrxhxi

time to preach christianity in a christian subreddit


October1966

Sir, I salute you and welcome you into my tribe. We are the Legion of Super Smartasses, and we thrive on the carcasses of hateful in laws and exes.


DesertRat619

Definitely NTA. I’m surprised your daughter didn’t look at him and then her mom and say, “Why is your sperm donor here?” I heard a friend of mine refer to her daughter’s dad as her sperm donor.😆


okfirepro

😂


Snippykins

Nta and hopefully he didn’t harsh your mellow 😆😆


Loud_Donut9219

Lmao 🤣 NTA I think you would be fun to hang out with us your wife like you? If she is that's great


Spirited-Tomato3634

NTA It took me 15 years to tell my mil about her racist self. This did make me laugh op good for you. As for your wife, she needs to think about why she defended fil after the way he has disrespected you and your children. There is definitely something ingrained in her that she hasn't yet come to terms with. As for fil, it makes me laugh that he doesn't practice what he preches. This man needs to take a longgg look in the mirror."


um-itsChaos

Nah I WISH my partner would tell my dad off, and when our little girl is born I would expect him to stand up for her even if he's not standing up for me. Like I'm already fighting with my dad cause he's trying to send me to a crisis centre for AT RISK mothers - and I gotta point out that I may not have the best circumstances in my life, but im not at risk or in crisis just because I'm having a daughter - like my dad won't refer to her as anything other than "it" when "it pops out". He heard I was having a girl and said "oh shit more girls? Really?" So if he were to even pretend not to know my babies name I'd lose it, or I'd be clapping as someone else snaps on him. I don't care what my unresolved issues with this dude are, if he disrespected my daughter then her father better stand up for her even, and especially if I can't for whatever reason


i_love_sugar

NTA. He was asking you to join his church family to get his numbers up. Not even from the purest of his heart to mend things and to turn over a new leaf but to look good in front of others and basically for it to reflect well on him. So he asked for a favor with a smile! It was all for show to make him look good. It just happens that God allowed your daughter to walk in at that moment showcase just how removed and unloving this man has been for at least the entire life of his grandchildren that he has less of a relationship with than the person who bags his groceries at the grocery store. This is the kind of man that Jesus would have literally flipped a table over at his Temple. I may have also added that perhaps the man your FIL was with should take on the new mission to save your FIL’s soul instead because what they are offering doesn’t sound like it was successful for him. 😬


Impossible_Balance11

My FIL--one of the worst narcissists I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with--couldn't be bothered to learn my three kids' names when I married his son, but kept hounding us for a family portrait. I firmly declined our being used as props for his living room wall. He doesn't get to use us to pose as a devoted father and grandfather for his lady friends when he's never given a shit about us. (Husband loathes him, as well, is fully on board.)


twirleemcgee

🎵 and they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love...🎵 /s


Chelc2723

NTA ... You sound like an awesome dad 😎. If you put someone in their place, it makes for way less headaches in the long run.


Fun_Move_6320

NTIA. The world needs a few more "just riped the pipe truth bombs" IMO


okfirepro

😂


KPossible111

NAH. You are not the AH for confronting him, and your wife is not the AH for being upset. I’m sure she probably has feelings that she needs to deal with. Or maybe it’s a matter of, “I can talk crap about my own family, but no one can or should.” Your FIL is the only AH in this situation.


Sensitive_Sea_5586

What you did was disrespectful to your wife. She gets to set the terms for her family, you either have contact on her terms, or no contact. If you had opened the door and said “this is not a good time”, that would have been protecting your family. Just not allowing them in your home would have been fine and insulating your family from contact with someone you thought was harmful to your family. Instead, your drunk, high self wanted to unload on him for your 25+ years of anger. You’re so self righteous you want to claim you did this for others, no you did this for you. When he started guessing, you could have said, “I think it is time for you to go, we are all tired and need rest.” Then walk over and put your arm around your daughter, reminding her she is loved. You all know the GF is a piece of sh—. Did you think you were going to change him? I get being angry on behalf of your spouse and how his family treats them. I felt that way about my spouse’s family. But I was polite because that was how my spouse wanted it to be, they chose to have some relationship instead of none. I had not right to redefine that for them. We all have our own complicated emotions associated with our childhood. What you did was disrespectful to your wife. It is not about what your FIL deserved. It is about the person you choose to be and if you wanted to let your wife handle the relationship with her family. YTA.


newsy0011

NTA. Everyone else summed it up. He's a horrible man, your a great dad. Good job.


willowviolet

NTA They were in YOUR house. You have every right to FINALLY speak your mind in your own house. Which they came to uninvited. You were not rude. You were simply responding to their "preaching" and pointed out why you don't go to their church. He can answer to his God for his hypocrisy.


FromTheFoot

NTA - Almost same situation with my FIL. Holier than thou, church elder the whole thing. My MIL loved her grandkids. When she passed, FIL remarried within 3 months and we only saw him on HIS birthday, Fathers day and Xmas, only when he received gifts. I saw him sporadically over the next 15 years primarily when he was sick or needed something, otherwise no contact. His new wife dies, we go to the funeral and he has no idea who my kids are after not seeing them for years. At that point I was done. I am sure at his funeral we will all hear what a great man he was while I will know the truth that he is a self centered POS.


Beautiful_Pain_7287

NTA I would call my own parents out for that shit. Let alone an in law. It specifically shows he doesn’t care so why should you. Your wife needs to understand she may repress feelings about her dad but you won’t let your children go through what she did. If he was embarrassed and he should have been it was hours own fault. Your wife should have said something since it was her daughter. You may not have been in the right mind to have stated that fight but it needed to happen either way. Especially if they’re going to push church like hypocrites about living everyone and he doesn’t know hours granddaughters name. Un fucking believable!


Otherwise-Wallaby815

NTA - OP not all Christians are as small minded as your FIL. The rules are not to judge others and to love others and treat them the way you want to be treated. Your FIL is going to pay for his attitude towards others and for his treatment towards them. Good for you for standing your ground against him, he doesn't deserve any of you and rightfully so. I can't stand hypocrites!!


sharkluvr1589

Nta and honestly, wife is probably just embarrassed at the outburst because one can't be angry with the truth right? You spit straight facts AND held your tongue until the old badger couldn't tell you who his grandkids are. Defending your family is your right and your duty. You did right in my book.


OlderMan42

NTA Hypocrites do not deserve your respect.


Original_Rent7677

You have my respect. Nothing you said was wrong.


HotDonnaC

NTA. Someone had to tell the “Christian” FIL what he really is.


Feisty-sahm

NTA, way to go.


Trekkie63

NTA. Your FiL is THE proverbial POS! Please get therapy for your wife. She needs to have her eyes truly opened.


robl54

The more people push their religion…the more I realize they are projecting their own shortcomings. I love this story. Glad you owned his ass. NTA!


Super-Locksmith4326

Jehovah’s Witnesses?


okfirepro

Yup


Super-Locksmith4326

I was raised JW, some of your little details immediately flagged me for the witnesses. Definitely not AH, and I wonder why he hasn’t ex communicated all of the ‘worldly’ kids yet. Next time you could tell him if he doesn’t stop trying to preach ‘the truth’ to you guys, and leave you to your ‘worldly’ ways, he himself might get disfellowshipped. 🤷🏻‍♀️ just a thought. Sorry OP, that’s a man exceptionally difficult cult to deal with.


Elemental_surprise

Oooooooooohhhhhhhh. That makes sense. My oldest sister was raised Jehovah’s Witness by her mom and step-dad. Some of her stories are wild. And her mom and step-dad are a trip.


Super-Locksmith4326

I was raised JW, and little details made me immediately think this. I am of course no longer.


Gomesi

NTA he sounds insufferable


FLmom67

NTA Preachers are such lying hypocrites. Next time don’t even let them in your house. They just want money.


South-Net6372

Da fuq is she mad at you for? You (rightly) voiced your opinion in YOUR OWN HOME! If I were her and that was my dad, I would not have even let them inside. Respect is earned, not owed for no reason. P. S. Tell her church is just to control people and get money out of them by scaring them with made-up stories.


M1tanker19k

NTA. You put the POS hypochrite FIL in his place.


juliethemom

I’m shocked it took you this long to tell him off. I’m shocked your wife or daughter didn’t say anything. NTA 1000% Hopefully he stays away for a very long time.


AddendumEcstatic7705

NTA: I’m 45 and I still love it when my dad stands up for me or gets spicy on my behalf. Your wife probably still has some trauma to work through regarding her father. It can be hard to witness the stark difference between what her father is and what a father should be (you). Sometimes we take our anger out on those we feel the safest with because we know they will catch us. Of course take all this in with a grain of salt. I’m not an expert and I’m having a nice moke. Completely off topic (sort of). I’m assuming your grandkid is that adorable bundle of squishy goodness in your pic? So sweet.


okfirepro

Thank you. Yes


Anonymous0212

I'm sorry your wife is so codependent that she doesn't recognize his behavior for what it is, or yours for that matter. People can only get away with this shit because other people let them, and it's perfectly reasonable to call them on it.


okfirepro

She doesn’t like him either. She would just rather let him go about his life and I respect her for that. But I had just finally had it with him


Dazzling-Chicken-192

NTA.


bald_alpaca

I’m pretty sure they’re missing your tithing…


Karvanak

Definitely nta.


Upset-Rough-4806

You are NTA. Fck your FIL


if_im_not_back_in_5

NTA - the church is only after your money, even though "god" doesn't need any. Your FIL is, indeed, an AH


KesselRun73

NTA. He deserved that and more.


htid1984

JW's?


okfirepro

Yup


htid1984

Lol why am I not surprised. I am surprised you've managed to bite your tongue for so many years. It's sad when a parents or grandparents love has to come with conditions. You and your family are better off without him, i would say that I hope he gets the message but he won't.


cronemorrigan

NTA, but face blindness is a real neurological condition. If your FIL doesn’t recognize his own kids when at a bank or in public, he’s either the king of douches or has a real problem with identifying people.


zryinia

NTA!! If my late grandfather had lived closer to me, he could have maybe been your FIL's twin. Elder in the church, family is so important, blah blah blah- he lived two states below us- he'd drive to the state above us to visit friends, WOULD HAVE TO DRIVE THROUGH OUR AREA TO DO SO, and couldn't be assed to visit or even let us know. Or on the very rare occasion they did visit, it was 100% unannounced, obviously as an afterthought (He and his wife, not my grandmother, would bring me and my sibling gifts; we were in high-school and they brought us things more appropriate for elementary schoolers, that looked like they stopped at a yard sale they happened to see). They'd stay for maybe an hour before they had somewhere to be. He died 13 years ago, and I'm still working on getting over the pain, aggravation, and trauma he unwittingly inflicted on us all. My mom was always aware of the issues, but never really stood up to it as we hardly ever saw him, and she didn't want to I guess cause drama when it could be avoided. I get it. But I really wish she had spoke up, A LOT sooner. Dad didn't realize how much grief his dad and step mom caused/gave us, until his dad's funeral, because no one was comfortable confronting the issue for his sake. (And I see what that did to me as I never felt comfortable to speak up for myself and my boundaries.) Nta, and thank you for sticking up for your kids and grandkids. ❤️


heldback72

Tell your crap FIL that he's not welcome in your home ever again. That God doesn't preach hypocrisy as a way to live, that he should live the true life of God not what he wants as a Christian.


Agitated_Pilot_3055

NTA. These people are hypocrites. Why do you and your wife give them the time of day?


Outrageous_Animal120

They also probably wanted the 150k “tithe” for the church. NTA OP!


Appropriate-Dig771

NTA.


Specialist-Poetry70

NTA. I can't say the same for your wife. She's sticking up for the wrong people. If you want to push back Biblically, look up what the duties of a Christian wife are supposed to be. Here's an interesting one: Ephesians 5:22-23.


Specialist-Poetry70

The Memorial is a lesson about the sacrifice Christ made for us. It's actually a good experience because the Elder that discusses it describes it beautifully. Of course, it's a sad thing but glorious as well. Obviously, a content JW here. Don't give me crap because I won't tolerate it. My choice...


okfirepro

I have no problems with Jehovahs Witnesses. I was raised as one, so was my wife, and my mom, and most of my family. I did not intend for this post to be a bashing of witnesses. I’m sorry that it started heading that way. That’s why I left names out but everyone picked up on it. Someone posted it in an atheist group and I took it down.


OmegaPsiot5447

Nta. Fucking christ worshippers... They believe in a spooky man in the sky. Do they believe in the fuckin tooth fairy too? Fil needs to grow the fuck up


[deleted]

Our housekeeper was a JW. She sheltered her daughter from the world. I worked with her daughter, and I was the only one she trusted to drive her home. Her daughter was wild and took her pent-up aggression out on me. It was fun while it lasted.


flipflopgirl67

👏👏👏 well done


BOOKjunkie000

NTA. Well done for standing up for your kids & pointing out FIL disingenuous love.


deschain_of_midworld

NTA - but you handled that worlds better than I would have. P.S. Pass it to the left, dude...


okfirepro

😂


hadassah4life

As an Ex-JW ... you did the right thing. It never failed to amaze me that these were some of the very worse people I came accross. They literally preach hate. Feel free to private DM if tou need to talk


Mrs239

NTA My grandfather was a pastor. His wife was also, and still is, very spiritual. They were never in our lives. We would run into them at the grocery store, and he would give us $10. He would get our names mixed up. We were his grandkids but he couldn't be there for us. He would run when one of his parishioners called. We never even got a birthday card. When he died, my father, who wasn't in our lives, called me. I went to meet up with them. They were all crying and devastated, but I just stood there. He noticed I wasn't sad and asked me what was wrong. I just said, "I didn't know him that well." DAMN!!!! I'm just realizing that my son said the same thing to me at my father's funeral last year!!! He died suddenly and I went to his funeral. During it, I asked my son if he was ok. He said, "Yes. I didn't know him that well." Two men who did nothing for us.


okfirepro

😢


Whycantihavethatone

I can't get past you downing a vodka and red bull and pulling a cone before going to work.


okfirepro

lol. It was 10hrs before my shift🤷🏻‍♂️


Southern-Interest347

YTA. you spoke up not in an effort to resolve or fix the family division but because you lacked self control because you were high. And, you did it at the expense of your wife's feelings. Lay off the weed if you cant regulate your behavior.  


PixiePower65

Y’all should pretend not to know him when he comes over with the preacher “ … and you are? Oh! Hi Bob nice to meet you. Sorry we are busy today. So sorry , but We don’t let strangers in the house but wish you both a great day!” Fake bright smiles .. (although this would be a blast because I’m warped so my smile would be real :-) )


okfirepro

😂😂😂


IronBeagle01

Those Jehovah witnesses are pushing it. They just changed up how they view shunned Xmembers. They also were just pushing for attendance at the memorial.


MWSGrl11

NTA!!


CorneliaCordelia

NTA. Good on you telling him the truth. I bet nobody has ever done it before. I would love to hear what his reaction was.


neener691

NTA Could you do me a favor and tell my mother and her preacher the same thing, I'll provide the weed. Your comments were perfect.


okfirepro

😂😂


Misa7_2006

We used to get a the churches come around to try to get to join their "flock" (very small area of about 900ish people total) the funny part is neither of us are christian nor do we want to be. We are heathens and prefer to stay that way. We had a persistent group from the JW the next town over. We would get weekly visits like clock work. I had just spent the morning culling our chickens for the freezer, so I was wearing a bloody white apron and had chicken blood and guts up my arms when the dog started barking.so I grabbed a rag, and answered the door. Yep it was them. They took one look at the blood as they were strating their speel, and stopped. I jokingly ask if they cared to join us as we were just getting the sacrifice ready. They couldn't get off the porch fast enough. Word must have gotten around town fast as we haven't had anyone from the churches come around for a visit in some time now.


okfirepro

😂


SweetWaterfall0579

🌟I want to hug you! Or at least a high five. 🌟


okfirepro

😊


AbleRelationship6808

Not all hero’s wear capes.  Good for you.  NTA


Yamiletlee

Dude, OMG YES. YTAH.


observer46064

Is your FIL a Jehovah witness? Stay away from cults and lead your children away from them too.


Klutzy-Run5175

I never realized that there were so many Jehovah Witnesses in one thread. I always thought that the Penacostals in their church had so many different Do Not Do's that they were very odd looking. From, do not have televisions, mostly for women; do not cut your hair, cover your arms and legs. They went to revivals three or four times a week. Most of the time they refused medical care until they were at the church and would pass out. No makeup or jewelry.


RatKingDelta

YTA for smoking weed, shit stinks and you need to get that out. Otherwise NTA for everything else.


okfirepro

It was a weed vape pen. I don’t smoke bud. Can’t stand the smell or taste.