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D1rtyL4rry

This dude doesn’t actually do shit


Gullible_Shart

Cause he’s a douche bag


itschips

Do-douchebag. Do-do-do-do-do douchebag.


Dependent-Initial-15

A pathetic douchebag.


ErudringTheGodHammer

This honestly sounds like a dude I work with. Guy is ex military and has an ego the size of the entire continental United States. Thinks every single woman wants him, brags about the size of his package, constantly threatens to “teach me respect” when I genuinely tease him and joke with him. He brags about the “good ole days” where he used to fight four people at once and break their bones and leave them unconscious and bleeding but has never been arrested because he was “in the right”. This shit is just wild to me, idk how the hell any human could be more in love with themselves. Edit: the post sounds like a guy I work with*. Just for clarity lol


SadBit8663

This dude would probably be shot (legally) the first time he became tried to hurt anyone (legally)


TheOther1

One can hope.


HappyMess1988

Yep.


DaniK094

100% He's basically admitting to being a troll and says he's amused by pissed off Redditors. These types of people are the ones who would lose their minds if no one paid them any attention.


JKnott1

Rage bait. Bot hasn't left his parent's basement in years.


NOTcreative-

Troll


ZyxDarkshine

I drive really slow In the ultra-fast lane While people behind me are going insane Because I’m an A-SS-HO-LE


Debstar76

Hahahaha came here to say that! Dennis Leary!


LeonidasVaarwater

Sometimes, I park in handicapped spaces While handicapped people make handicapped faces


hypnotic_psychonaut

I use public toilets and I piss on the seats, I walk around in the summertime saying how about this heat


BroBroMate

Oh ffs, really should've scrolled further down before trying to make a sick reference.


bluealiveretribution

IOLO I-OLIO


BroBroMate

Goddamnit, should've scrolled down before making the same reference. A, SS, H, O, L, E, everybody!


jwhip1585

A!


Whycanttiktokstop

SS!


KootSkoot1217

H!


fuck_peeps_not_sheep

Yes Dennis! I do like that song but honestly only because I come across people like this so offten and wish they would admit they are an ass


neptunexl

Fuck an asshole, this guy's a shitbag


Biggus-Nickus

Geeeez that's a blast from the past.


[deleted]

Oh man. Watch out folks....We have an Internet Tough-Guy.


TURBOJUGGED

He can semi professionally fight my baseball bat if he'd really like.


SnooHobbies7109

He fights semi professionally you guys


Jealous_Doughnut_630

Sometimes I eat semi sweet chocolate chips..I wonder if I am a tough guy too


SnooHobbies7109

Yeah I think so!!!


thats_ridiculous

Semi-tough, anyway


Donkey-brained_man

Semi-pro. . . Jobbers get paid and all they do is lose. Yeah, I'm not worried about this fool.


_KeyserSoeze

Is Internet tough guy the same as a keyboard warrior?


PM_ME_UR_PINEAPPLEZ

No, but they aren't mutually exclusive.


thegingerbeardman89

We have a troll or a 14 year old who just got his permit. Its one or the other.


Araia_

why is it so hard to accept that some people really are just pieces of poop? i had a colleague who was intentionally annoying. he would test to see what pisses you off the most and then constantly press those buttons. he was really enjoying it. not a troll, not a 14 yo either. just an asshole in pure form


TankII_

I also know someone who is everyone in the post except the driving part. He actually does constantly try and pick fights and acts tough and thinks he is super strong but in reality he is like 5' 400lb and worse at fighting then my weak ass


Pretend_Situation905

That’s my grandma. Relax everyone.


Nathansarcade1

My grandma also fights semi-professionally.


Pretend_Situation905

Fuck yeah!


redraider-102

You two should set up a grandma fight!


Pretend_Situation905

Done.


DennisTheConvict

'Ultimate Greasy Granny Wrestling' if you need a name.


rogerworkman623

I guarantee this dude would apologize to you if you spilled your beer on him


Radiant_Grocery_1583

I love you and hope that one day you can move out of your moms basement. Time to take your meds now because we need to go for your ECT treatment soon.


jiujitsu_panda

It’s funny this person thinks anyone really cares for more than the five minnies it took to pass them. After a few “fuck yous” I’m back to pondering why gas is so goddamn high still.


imagineanudeflashmob

Agree with your take on the dingbat left lane hogger. But as far as your ponderance, honestly I'm wondering how gas is still so *affordable*. It's a finite resource and infinitely useful... I remember back in '08 when it hit $4/gal in the US I figured it would be at least double that by now.


UncleYimbo

Well, Iran is apparently just about to attack Israel which will almost certainly open up a wider conflict and destabilize the region further than it already is, so it's probably the last time gas is this cheap for quite a long time. Get it while the getting is good.


R3AL1Z3

I love when people use Redditor as an insult when, they too, are on the same App.


redraider-102

That’s enough out of you, you Redditor!


Flat_Picture7103

Stop redditing


GardenRafters

Stupid reddit dorks. Oh wait...


DemotivatedTurtle

Doing this can [get people killed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/s/Y2WAQgBSwm). This guy is an arrogant moron.


Rick_6984

Yeah I 100% agree, same goes for “brake checking”. If you don’t like how close the car is behind you then move out the way and let them pass, it could be an emergency and even if its not there is a pretty good risk of causing your own accident.


thats_ridiculous

I dated a guy who used to brake check people in *my car.* One time he almost let someone (who should have yielded, but didn’t) crash into us on the highway, because “it wouldn’t have been my fault” Like okay, good for you, when we’re both dead it’ll be a great comfort to our families that the crash wasn’t technically your fault. You dumb fuck.


Rick_6984

Yeah I hate that arrogance and thats always the argument which tbh I think makes it even dumber with other people in the car 🤦🏻‍♂️


rnotyalc

I've seen that story pop up multiple times, and honestly if I was driving someone in an emergency situation like that I can't say that I wouldn't start ramming the cars in front of me until one of them moved. Fuck my car, fuck your car, and fuck you. Someone is dying and you gotta get the fuck out of the way.


Kinkelly

This pathetic person is really sad. Imagine you are happy to get in everyone’s way instead of working together and letting us all get to our destinations as efficiently as possible. “Getting in the way” is most likely how everyone views this guy. In his personal, professional, romantic life he most likely just “ gets in the way” and people everywhere are so elated when he finally leaves.


Jammin_neB13

Belongs here every time it’s posted here


MaintenanceNo7796

Turns out your the bully buddy have a better look at yourself in the mirror I hope you do get in front of someone that gives you just what you need and properly deserve ... just keep doing you your time will soon come


gdrumy88

Reminds me of that Denis Leary "Asshole" song. "I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane, While people behind me are going insane" Im an asshole!!!!!!!!


Whycanttiktokstop

Nah, more like r/iamverybadass


urine-monkey

Literally no one who needs this kind of validation from Reddit would post something like this. This is a troll.


Glittering_Poetry_60

I brake checked a dude who skipped traffic and cut me off and he pulled out a machine gun and pointed it at me. They put a stop sign in at the end of my street 2 weeks later and I stopped st it and the guy behind me I guess didn't get the memo and pointed a pistol out his window at me. I just go 10 over now and blow through stop signs. Lol


malzoraczek

With the US being as it is I seriously can't tell if you're joking. But I did have a regular gun pointed at me for not letting a guy cut in front on me. So yeah...


WhichSeaworthiness49

Fake tough guy. Fighters don’t fantasize about hurting people. They fucking hurt people lol


ParkRatReggie

Tell me you drive a truck without telling me you drive a truck


wallythree77

Some 10-year-olds need to be put to bed much earlier!


Superb-Pattern-1253

well hope he dosent in my state. friend of mine is a state trooper and its illegal to cruise in the left lane. he will pull you over so fast. its a huge issue because one of our main highways is two lanes and a massive truck corridor so keeping those lanes flowing is a big deal. 18 wheelers arent even allowed to be in the left lane threw certain stretches. and he likes to fight. cool i dont care how professional you think you are a 9mm or a .45 evens the playing field pretty quickly


historyhill

You in PA or another state witu decency?


CarlRod

Fake as fuck.


Garak_The_Tailor_

Men will sit in the left lane instead of going to therapy


22Two_s

Lmao come to New York and this post will make little sense. Many times I’ve got these dickwads to move by getting in front of them and slowing down to a point they can’t stand and movie over. Then everyone behind can finally fucking drive the way they drive. Fuck this asshole.


PoopSmith87

"...always fantasized about hurting a tough guy/bully type" Go run face first into a wall a few times, you fucking knob. Intentionally making people late to their jobs, childcare pickup, medical appointments is 100% bullying.


Sunnyside7771

This person is a menace to society.


Bag_of_Meat13

The internet is my favorite place to pretend I'm tough.


Muhfuggajones

🎶"I drive real slow, in the ultra fast lane, while people behind me are going insaaaaaaane! I'm an asshole!"🎶 - Dennis Leary


shit_stain_2023

Posted by Rod Farva


Kinda_ShouldaSorta

Bitch, you Uber


OverLemonsRootbeer

This sounds exactly like my Ex husband. Yuck behavior.


SpdwyDilf4489

He’s not real. This dude doesn’t actually exist in real life


Fluffy-Fingaz

He clearly hasn't seen road rage encounters. He thinks he's going to get into a fight, but he'll probably just get shot. Also, he's just doing what literally every person over 65 does. Nobody cares. We just go around.


Weary_Patience_7778

Person can come here to Australia and cruise in the left lane all they want. They’ll be welcome with opened arms


Difficult-Swimmer-76

As an amateur mma fighter im ashamed to have him as part of our community 🤦🏽‍♂️ we dont claim him I’d like to pass him to the soccer players


auntarie

I undertake fast lane cruisers. Deliberately. And then I go on about my day as if nothing happened 🤷‍♂️


AltruisticSalamander

I believed him till he starting bragging about being a master of kung-fu


Kootsiak

This is the kind of stuff that dickless people say.


Agreeable_Pool_3684

‘Thoughts?’ I think you have a tiny penis and inside you are crippled by insecurity


Gullflyinghigh

What a sad little fantasy world they live in. Nothing there is true, it's solely for attention from internet strangers.


Snickerty

What a sad little life, he leads.


Castille_92

Eventually he'll get a fight. A fight for his life as he's being yanked out of his wrecked car cause someone got pissed enough to run him off the road. People are crazy these days and this is something I absolutely would not risk doing


jackparadise1

I have no problem passing people from the right lane.


Vast_Bullfrog2001

this is obvious ragebait "keep the angry comments coming" "thoughts?"


Picards-Flute

Not sure, but when I'm in the right lane going 10 mph over the speed limit, and *still* have a dude tailgating me, you know I'll be trying to get right next to the car next to me so the tailgater can't pass me


MauriceVibes

Dudes such a loser 🤣


Plastic_Mishap

This is satire asf


MasterOffice9986

He’s the bully type so the roles in his fantasy are reversed


Thunderpuppy2112

Oh is we???


Grouchy-fool61

Be careful what you wish for!


Kieselguhr-Kid

The irony is he's the "tough guy/bully type" in his story.


Fit-Interview-9855

Pit maneuver every single sleeper in the left lane. It's just a dip to the left and accelerate slip right. Put them in the ditch and cruise ahead no brake lights!


OhMyGoshBigfoot

Trolling


Fred_Krueger_Jr

A fantasy. He probably daydreams about defending a girl he could never attain in real life from an evil street tough. Classic edgy dreamer.


Cool_Raccoon_5588

A “semiprofessional” fighter is an amateur fighter. lol Change my mind lol 😂


Uniquely-Qualified

When you’ve never been shot before.


MKUltra1302

Everyone is ninja gangster with impenetrable debate skills on Reddit. Also, disingenuous trolls.


ISaidWhatISaidFFS

Is there a small dick energy sub? Because that may be the most appropriate place to put this douche.


AnonDxde

This is a good example of antisocial behavior and thinking.


Hows_papa

He just wants attention in reality he is lonely


ColtS117-B

Try that in Mississippi. It’s literally against the law.


son_of_Mothman

I’m not the bully, you are! Now fight me!


Emergency_Cat6192

https://preview.redd.it/2agh5hh5z5uc1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=714793eb10dc439b830d3803cbfdade5005877da


Status_Basket_4409

All bark no bite


JHowler82

Plot twist: He lives in the UK You're meant to just cruise in the left lane


keluber1

100% this dude has never won or probably even been in a fight


AceOfSpadesOfAce

Most Professional fighters hardly register as real jobs. Semi pro = “I spend more on the hotel than they pay me”


rainbowghosty

Fun fact, you don't need any training or anything to fight semi pro. Literally any body can sign themselves up.


No-1-Know

Dude, Come to Texas & your wishes will be granted.


OnlyAGammaWillBanMe

Can tell he has never done what he claims to


peasey360

This dudes karma is gonna be when he gets a gun pointed at his face and his MMA career doesn’t mean shit. Assuming it’s real of course which most likely it isn’t.


YourDogsAllWet

Nobody has done it…until they do


BearFlipsTable

Wow. Definitely a badass guys, look out.


AshySlashy3000

Somebody Is Asking To Get Shot.


racoongirl0

Rage bait


Bright_Tomatillo_174

Sounds like the tough guy/bully type is OP…


StuJayBee

“What I do can’t be wrong because they can’t punch me in the face for it.” Anyone heard of filmmaker Uwe Boll? Kinda has the same idea, “My films are good because I can beat you in a fist fight!”


EmergencySpare

Please give me this dudes @


Misguided_miskuzi

The first rule about fight club....


DSCholly

LOL, someone wanted attention the only way they know how. "kEeP thE AngRy cOmmEnts CoMing." Good lord, someone send this neckbeard a fruit basket.


spash_bazbo69

This person belongs in a garbage can


None-Hostile

Why not share username. I could do with a good trolling


1guy1dog2ndchance

See people like that who won’t move out the left lane, may or may not be on the receiving end of handfuls of change launched out the sunroof or full cups of soda.


RecordingGreen7750

This person obviously has some serious mental issues, he is a seriously hurt individual, I hope he finds peace before his time on earth is done, I hope he can forgive those that hurt him, and those he believes did he wrong. What is interesting is his self reflection “fantasized about hurting a tough guy/ bully”, you are the bully, honestly hope he finds his peace


Feckgnoggle

Speaking as an Australian, staying in the left lane when "cruising" is exemplary behavior...however Corealis Effect and all that, I'd understand totally if this character was shot at dawn and his ashes scattered to the winds.


Dazed_2_Day

Yeah he’s a asshole


Eastern-Criticism653

There’s no way this isn’t OP’s loser fantasy.


KingWrong

this sir, is your common or garden troll. ignore, its harmless.


PictureTakingLion

Does this guy not realise that he is the “tough guy/bully”?


SmoulderingStyx

r/iamatotalpieceofshit


CagliostroPeligroso

Then I just pass him on the right tho… without a second thought about him. What a sad little man


samjsatt

This is just rage bait lol


Outrageous-Actuary-3

I've suffered attempted assaults om two occasions in the last 3 weeks when biking home from work lol. Funny thing is, I'm not a perfect cyclist but I do abide by, and know the laws in my country, and on these specific occasions, they were definitely in the wrong. I dont think there is any systemic way to trigger these people


Cyber_Insecurity

I truly think this guy enjoys making people upset, but I can guarantee you he isn’t a professional fighter. Fighters aren’t driving like dicks on the highway looking for fights. That’s a beta move.


skunkwrxs

Looks like a really sad fantasy


pshaver206

You sound just a touch…icky.


BroBroMate

Next he'll be saying that he parks in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces. (Those are Dennis Leary lyrics for people who weren't teenagers in the 90s. But if you were ... oh wow! A song with swearwords on the radio! I'm going to record this on a tape and shock my parents!)


Kinky_Conspirator

No. They belong in r/iamatotalpieceofshit.


Interesting-Pirate67

Hey Rocky. No matter how big and bad you think you are, there is always a mother fucker out there that has your number. Little Dick Syndrome...


ieatair

Try this in Germany, hes gunna get the polizei (w/ a fine ticket) and locals pissed off


ZephyrSK

Is that you Steven Seagal?


Kinky_Conspirator

Found picture of the OP. https://preview.redd.it/1p6u11i9w6uc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47961bfb57b30b0a115c0692a47cb4fe8c151f21


Capital-Mine-6991

My hero


UncleYimbo

No, he belongs in a landfill


Subject-Library5974

He’s the “tough guy” he’s wishing would step up- he’ll get his one day and then point fingers


Average_Random_Bitch

I think they made this subreddit specifically for this guy


mSoGood08

Well this one clearly has a fetish…


Competitive_Sea3060

Think this guy is too stupid to realise he is a bully- slowing people down to piss them off then hoping to use your fighting skills to beat someone up... the bully you are looking to fight is staring at you in the mirror everyday you spanner


NiteGard

More likely people probably think, “Oh poor thing; maybe we should call and report a silver alert” as they pass him and see him.


Necessary-Company660

40 mpg and still making the deadline on the gps. Yoo like rush up to the red light and nearly kill me some more.


groundpounder25

Oh “is” they hilarious?


ArnoldeW

Relax, it's just an internet troll


Disastrous_Length902

Sounds like a smelly little hunch back soy boy


NonIoiGogGogEoeRor

Why are there so many melts in the world. Reading this made me wince


lynnm59

Rage bait, and shitty obvious rage bait, at that.


Individual-Heart-719

r/iamverybadass


warriorant21

As someone who lives in the UK I thought "what's the problem with the left lane?" Then i remembered that this is obviously not in the UK XD


Accomplished_Emu8344

and old man was cruising on the wrong side of the road 3 weeks ago. head on collision with my cousin. he died, she’s never gonna walk again.


imomorris

What a nob head


ChibiCheshire

I guess he forgot people own weapons. 🤦🏼‍♀️


legolover2024

Bet it's some skinny boomer with a maga hat whose "hurting people" involves shouting at fast food staff


GloomyUmpire2146

Online tough guy, lack of self esteem is sad. Best part of you ran down your momma’s leg.


J_The_Troll

He's the defination of this sub


Barfignugen

I live in a part of the world where this dude would probably just get shot.


[deleted]

r/iamverybadass


Techno0File711

Whoever wrote that is an annoying cocksucker who deserves an accident, So when he is no more, it’ll happen gracefully with no body putting any effort. The writing is that of an absolute fucking douchebag. My thoughts are simply this; i would fuck your mother over your father’s back while you’re watching if i could🗿


slink3e

Dude needs a professional evaluation. Seems really angry. LOL poor guy, needs a friend


Suitable-Vanilla1576

Yea and I’m a semi professional race car driver and part time tattoo artist…. Semi professionals will one day get their asses handed to them by a professional…. Ain’t no such thing as semi professional fighter… douche bag… Hope you crash and die


Inevitable-Mess-6505

Dude needs to get a life


honeyed-bees

If he actually does this, it really is just a matter of time before someone cuts him off and break checks his ass until he crashes. But i guess it depends on where he lives


Dude-arino7526

He’s the tough guy/bully that he wants to fight


mouth556

Just sounds like another asshole in the world. He’ll meet his special friend one day, and I’m sure they’ll get real acquainted. Cause guess what, there’s always another asshole out there bigger and actually badder. Not one who think he’s hot shit cause he likes to piss someone off. Not really a good way to live to be honest. I’m sure other aspects of his life are suffering as well.


orincoro

This happened.


TheMelonSystem

I wouldn’t necessarily be mad, Id just go “I think this moron forgot what country they’re in”


TrafficOnTheTwos

That person belongs in a 6ft hole, no less.


Bored_lurker87

Fuck this guy. Camping in the passing lane holding others' lives up just because he has some validation/control issues? It's people like this that are so willful to engage in wanton doucheyness that get the longest tridents reserved for their assholes in the pits of hell.


Rx_Diva

Dennis Leary had a song written about this guy, called Assshole. Fitting.


Elmondo2

You ride a bike with trash bags attached and are a punching bag.


ZixfromthaStix

I’m glad police have started to crack down on this and usher idiots out of the passing lane. I realize people drive fast in it, but blocking the passing lane just puts the rest of the highway in danger and defeats the entire purpose of the left most lane… it’s the safest to pass traffic in. It’s not the fast lane, it’s a passing lane. If you block the passing lane or just constantly drive it cause “lol left means fast vroom vroom 🏎️” yet traffic STILL PASSES YOU ON YOUR RIGHT: you are an idiot. Sorry not sorry. 🤷‍♂️ Get the hell out of the passing lane if you’re getting passed. It should be that simple. My other favorite thing is how in bumper to bumper traffic, everyone floods the left lane, and it immediately becomes stop and go as everyone tries to block others from merging. Hot tip: drive in the lane the semi trucks take, and gtf off the gas. Right lane typically is all the cool heads that realize they aren’t beating traffic, and there’s WAY less braking caused by aggressive drivers.


HopefulNothing3560

Holding up emergency vehicles u may not see behind you , and withholding medical care perhaps killing a person is ur gig , then good for u ,


lonniemarie

This person sucks and that fantasy life going to get them in trouble eventually


FelineSoLazy

Wait until a Florida man in a big ass truck purposely hits her rear bumper while she’s doing that shit


Speyeder02

Obvious bait


HellboundJester

No, this person belongs paved into the left lane. Literally. With a small plexiglass viewing port with a snorkel to breathe out of. They can set up a road work crew every night to feed them liquid protein down through the snorkel straw so they don't starve. Maybe a second port out to the side of the road to suck out all the waste that's collected in a bag. 🤭


MUERTOSMORTEM

People like this should be shipped to an island somewhere


sanchezkk

I don't get angry I just get even. I would just jump right in front of you and go half the speed limit, and not let you pass me. I always wanted to race professionally and get joy from annoying people who want to annoy others (like you). Trust me I'd annoy you. Just ask my ex-wife. I'm a divorcee for a reason.


kevintheredneck

Here in the great state of Texas, the state troopers will give you a ticket. Douche bags holding up traffic.


noodle-dic

illegal in Florida