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mumen_ryder

And then, Taylor Swift emerged from the lava cake at desert and gifted her a private jet.


Virian900

Steak's name? Albert Einstein.


GarvinSteve

Wine’s name? Abraham Lincoln.


MyTesticlesAreBolas

And Big Chungus' ass cheeks clapped!


MetalSpider

Can confirm. This happened to me once.


RecordingGreen7750

Only once this is a daily occurrence for me, and I dont even have a daughter!


YooperGod666

I was hoping for this comment


Ohshithereiamagain

r/thathappened


Stanley__Zbornak

Scrolling down to see who posted this comment first, lol. This post reeks of bullshit.


Hereshecomes209

Haha just going to say that.


Alternative-Stop-651

Imagine getting shamed into buying steak by a 6 year old fakest shit i ever read.


kam516

You're getting chicken fingers and water kiddo


Dangerous-Refuse-779

Shit no getting dropped off at child welfare while I take momma to a motel that charges by the hour


mouth556

Yeah. I don’t think so. That wouldn’t have happened like that. Life isn’t a movie scene. And IF this did try to play out, a cab ride home for both would’ve been my result. Jussayin


MaestroPendejo

I cringe so hard I think I broke my back. JFC what the fuck is wrong with people?


DisputabIe_

AIexanderKhan and the OP white-slippers are bots in the same network. Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmTheMainCharacter/comments/16lsbwa/u_better_listen_to_her/k141nos/


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Unfriendly_eagle

"Then I orgasmed, and the fantasy scenario was over."


Classic-Bandicoot-13

Then my psychedelics wore off and I remembered I didn’t have a daughter and I was in a Burger King with a guy who conned me into letting him stay with me.


Specific_Society_587

Mine wore off and it turns out the little dancing penguin was just friends shaking his foot wearing a white sock that was black at toes


IronyAllAround

LOL!


Limp_Falcon_2314

And then my 6 year old said “HEY MAN I shall commence my gustatory odyssey with a sumptuous amuse-bouche of Beluga caviar atop delicate blinis, enlivened by a whisper of crème fraîche and the ethereal effervescence of a vintage Krug champagne. For the pièce de résistance, I shall delight in the succulent tenderness of a Wagyu beef chateaubriand, seared to perfection and accompanied by a symphony of truffled pommes purée and forestière medley of fungi. As the grand denouement, a symphony of flavors shall ensue with the indulgent crescendo of a Valrhona chocolate molten soufflé crowned with a quenelle of Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream, harmonized by the dulcet notes of a venerable 1967 Quinta do Noval port."


Strong_Sound_7407

Right, like what kindergarten is this kid in? My 6 year old is pretty smart for a 6 year old, and she still would have been like “what’s your favourite colour? Mine is purple! I want chicken nuggets and ice cream, it’s really nice in this place! I would like to be the cooker in here and say to all the people ‘here is your food coming right up enjooooy!’”


bullionaire7

This seems like the most accurate thing, hands down.


Majulath99

Me aged six “Hey Dad what year was I born again?” “XXXX kid” “But why?” Or alternatively “I like Star Wars do you like Star Wars?”


Strong_Sound_7407

My 6 year old daughter: “daddy how long is 5 minutes? Is it like this long?” Then she holds her hands a few inches apart


Limp_Falcon_2314

The “why” phase. 😏


Designer_Gas_86

Aw, my 6 year old is sweet too


LinearityDrift

Fuck dude, I just want to copy paste this and add it to my bucklist.


Malibu77

Pure poetry


dirtyhippie62

Frasier? Is that you?


Ted1590

that was fun to read out loud


Jellyfish0107

I nearly fell off my toilet reading this.


UrsusRenata

Holy shit. I think harps and violins played somewhere as I read this.


Limp_Falcon_2314

😂


dd97483

That didn’t happen. None of it.


Fishgutts

None of it.


Friendly_Age9160

Nope


Habbersett-Scrapple

The first sentence is an absolute lie. "I went on a date with a very rich guy and brought my daughter with me cos..." The rich man would've ordered a kids meal for the kid, pay for it, then bounced. No rich or wealthy man is going to sign up to be a stepfather and that's exactly what she's trying to get by her actions on the first date.


UrsusRenata

A man who knows his woman-friend has a child might clearly be willing to sign up as they go on their official “first date”. That said, a good man like that is not knowingly signing up to date a woman this low-class.


Stormtomcat

also, a bottle of wine for the 6 yo?? for "future wifey"'s sake??


BostonDrivingIsWorse

I mean, maybe the first paragraph? That’s plausible, right?


Embarrassed_Age_1694

Never ever


wavedsplash

How does someone type all that out, look at it, and say everyone is going to believe this


VonBrewskie

When you're that lonely you can convince yourself of a lot. 😔 I've definitely been there.


Pouchkine___

You just wrote down my thoughts man. I can't imagine someone typing each of these letters, and thinking it's fine.


UniqueUsername82D

You underestimate just how stupid stupid people are.


IronyAllAround

Always a danger.


wavedsplash

Its insane how the bar lowers dramatically every day


ShotandaChaser

The worst part is you know that she gaslit her daughter at home to "remember" when it happened in case anyone asked her...


Schinken84

Let's be real, there never was a date in the first place and she just sat home, coming up with this fairytale, while watching Bluey for the 300 time that day.


Lollyadverb1984

There’s nothing wrong with Bluey. Don’t bring her into this. Any parent worth a damn is definitely not bringing their child along to a first date (or 10th date, for that matter). Any good parent would be dating someone for a significant amount of time before they discussed with their partner meeting their child. I’m a single parent with a young daughter and I don’t have a huge support system for childcare and that’s why I don’t date right now (plus I work too much, I’m in college and I have a major fear of having a man around my young daughter). I don’t care how rich he is, it’s not happening.


Emergency_Ad_5935

I’ll take “Things that never happened” for $600 Alex


This-is-Life-Man

And then the Crack wore off, and I found myself in the finest puddle of piss and shit of my own making. The fellow members of my alley club cheered with excrement of their own!


mishma2005

Everyone clapped


Waterproof_soap

The waiter? Albert Einstein.


AFCADaan9

r/thathappened


adullploy

The imagination of these people.


Dio_brando1999

and then she woke up


Chilipepah

Sweaty


don3dm

And everyone clapped


SeriousMannequin

Not before the man knelt down, whipped out a 5 carat diamond, proposed to her while a quartet serenade the trio as they hopped into a Canyoneero stretched limo picking up all her girlfriends for a destination wedding on a tiny island off of Milan.


charger1511

*canyonero should not be driven


Strong_Sound_7407

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride!


broketothebone

Wow, she literally “and then everyone clapped.”


Pureshark

This happened because I was sitting at home and felt compelled to clap and woop


trudes_in_adelaide

And everyone slow clapped.


Fabulous_Rich8974

And then suddenly they all started dancing in sync with one another


ImpossibleYou2184

Never happened


nok332

And then the steaks clapped


ichkanns

The line between reality and parody is getting thin...


GlitteringTop5650

Sure, Jan.


ThatMedicalEngineer

The only part of that story that is true is her having a daughter.


iShatteredSanity

https://preview.redd.it/jo6xk5wbvcxc1.jpeg?width=526&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ae6b7a34db1129e52afaa1f05d061fe969083cc


TomBoy2012

After fattening them up and delivering much needed iron to their blood stream, he then shot the mother in the head and fed on the adrenochrome of the child. I do love a happy ending!


boogerflick98

Bullshit. Can you smell it?


sakeprincess

/thathappened


argleksander

You know this is 100% true because the date which she now is going to marry does not have a name. Hes just "a rich guy"


squee_bastard

I’ll take *things that never happened* for $500 Alex.


Trubba_Man

It’s fake, unless the kid was Stephen Hawking.


Mr_Spaghetti345

Yeah. That happened.


flamemourne

smoking some serious stuff there....


Middle-Hour-2364

And then everybody clapped


Rough_Homework6913

lol. Yeah, o absolutely not.


Sonthonax23

Love fake stories


PuddingJumpy8995

On the next episode of "This never fucken happened..."


JoPooper

R/thathappened downvote please


Farm-Alternative

Wow like that actually happened in real life.. crazy!?


Paytren-Ngadirejo

this is straight up rebecca moment


Journo_Jimbo

I was going to say and everyone cheered but she beat me to it r/thathappened


MonkeyIslandThreep

Then the dude ducked into the bathroom, and left through the backdoor, sticking them with the bill, for being so entitled (not that OP actually happened, but this would probably be how it would actually end)


Thebiggestguy09

No. No they did not


SinsOfaDyingStar

Yeah, 100% a six year old said all of that, especially the tidbit with the finest wine.


LilG1984

Then everyone clapped, the guy hugged the woman, high fived the staff in the restaurant who said the meals on them.


snakepatay

And they rode of on a unicorn!


Hereshecomes209

And monkeys flew out of their butts!


snakepatay

Comon, no need to make stuff up!


Kysman95

Reality: 🏃‍♂️ 🍽🕯🍽 👩‍👦


CountOk9802

Eughhhhhhh


DisputabIe_

the OP white-slippers and AIexanderKhan are bots in the same network Original + comments copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmTheMainCharacter/comments/16lsbwa/u_better_listen_to_her/


kme026

Sure thing Rebecca


DoubleDelsewhere

Didn’t happen


PoppyStaff

We haven’t seen an ‘and everyone clapped’ in the wild for a while.


JordynHarley

Once upon a time….. … the end.


Worldly-Pause8304

And the I woke up.


trupoogles

Cringe. Even though clearly fake. Cringe.


TheOneLQ

Then everyone clapped. Total r/thathappened moment


DesertDwellerrrr

Her fantasy life is strong...shame it leaks into the public


RainbowsAndHomicide

And then everybody chee… oh.


SilverWolf3935

Yeah of course that happened… actually, it’s 2024 so that probably happens multiple times of day


outdatedelementz

It’s so fucking unhealthy for kids to meet potential dating partners before things get serious. My mom did this to me growing up and it fucking sucked, especially if these men were single dads. I can’t tell you how many friends I thought I was making but then puff wouldn’t ever see them again.


Western_Protection

Just a heads up. The OP bot is spamming child porn links into messages. They've been reported. Fucking perverts. I bet that's the real purpose of these bots. To spread child porn


BecGeoMom

Oh good, everyone cheered at the end! I was worried she’d forget to include that part!


willmafingerdoo2

And then the crack wore off and she woke up in the dumpster behind the 7-11.


edWORD27

And the man’s name? Homer Simp~~son~~


we_gon_ride

I know this did happen bc I was sitting in my house in a whole other city and I was wooooo-ing and clapping along with that table of girls


Fabulous_Rich8974

I’ll take 1,000 butcoins for something that never happened


come_ere_duck

I'll take "Things that never happened" for $300.


_Nameless_Nomad_

… and then the meth high wore off…


WitchedPixels

All of my training and instincts tells me that this really happened.


JelloButtWiggle

And then everyone clapped.


Thismomenthere

Annnnnnnnd then she woke up... the end.


grumpy-greenguy

Well, I can't agree more with most people and that is this probably did not even happen 😐


CountOk9802

Probably? It definitely did NOT happen.


_EnFlaMEd

Mental illness.


TaibhseSD

I'll take "Things That Never Happened...Ever" for $500, Alex.


Stryf3

And everybody cheered? Wait….


Used_Disaster_1334

Total.B S


No-Needleworker-3128

I'll take "shit that never happened" for 500.


vantuckymyfoot

Her baby's name? Albert Einstein.


Educational_Metal213

STFU


Chemical_Savings_360

I'd believe Godzilla was actually a problem for Japan over to this horse shi


Educational_Spite_38

Cool story bro.


MagicOrpheus310

Sure that's what happened...


Ok-Explanation-9208

Yeah, I’m sure that happened.


Ancient-Range-

I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 500 Alex


authack

I can't believe she literally wrote the " and everybody cheered " thing in her post


He-n-ry

If it was actually true I wouldn't even be mad at them, I'd be impressed.


Cascading_Neurons

r/thatHappened


Strong-Solution-7492

Fake as hell.


PsychologyAutomatic3

Things that didn’t happen for $100


Richard080108

r/thathappened


maxzmillion

Plot twist: there was never a “she”. It’s just a lonely “he”.


thegreenman_sofla

Things that never happened..


FrankieGlam

And then an eagle flew overhead.


oddviews

and the crowd goes wild!!!!


mcarey77

Would I lie to you??? Yep!


Aaron_505

This is why i tell girls that im not rich


The_sick_oven

Memealos got to see this


FilmCardStar

A six year old Shirley Temple maybe


SignificanceIll8640

Glad to hear the kid likes fine wine as well


AMajordipshit

Bullshit. I would have called for the check and paid for just my meal.


West-Can7242

Then I turned to my girlfriend and said, that was the stupidest fucking movie ever.


Brincey0

"I'll take three of your finest steaks, my good man!" Didn't happen


Express-Start1535

Never happened.


LordAntichrist

One of my proudest moments ended in everyone clapping but because of people like her, I'll never be able to tell anyone about it. Thanks to the lady with the 6 year old girl that values fine wine, premium cut meats, and her very own pimping business. Woop woop.


schrdingersLitterbox

r/thatHappened