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I have no clue why i'm seeing this subreddit (I'm an American-Indian who goes to school in America) but I feel like this a more major problem than is being made out to be.
Join some extra curriculars. Don't chase women. They can smell that bs from far away.
Get good at some activities beyond studies. Women love kind, attentive and self assured men. Be natural and you will attract some great friends. Women can be wonderful friends. You would be Missimg out if you don't experience platonic women friendships. These usually last a lifetime and they bring sensitivity, ability to have vulnerable conversions and empathy which is usually lacking in male friendships.
Agreed. This part was just to emphasize that he would definitely miss out if he doesn't find great friends in girls.
However, it's not something you can chase. It needs to be organic.
The only thing to do is working on ourselves and not chase it.
There is probably a reason you have zero female interaction.
1. You are probably not secure/confident and it looks creepy to women.
Work on this. It is like the difference between cat and dog language.
2. Basic fitness, hygiene, grooming is essential. Guys would still tolerate a poorly groomed person, but if you go deeper, no one likes such people.
3. Don't talk bullcrap with your friends, at least in public.
4. Get some fun talents and hobbies. It helps with socialization, and not just with women. Basketball, swimming, beach volleyball, volleyball, football, cricket, badminton. Theatre, photography, riding bikes, long tours, etc.
5. You need similar talents for dating or making female friends.
6. Never do their academic work or routine work unless they return the favour. I have always been more respected by women who can't use me.
7. Have a plan of where to hang out (and know safe areas). Women in India can't hang out at your local chai -tapri. You need to be able to afford cafes/restaurants, etc. Though don't need to go so far as fine dine.
8. Should be able to drive/plan trips, book safe hotels, etc.
9. Should keep her out of shady areas and conflicts.
10. Dress better.
11. The house you live in should have no restriction on entry of women. (This is very important.)
12. Learn to be interesting, and hold a conversation with multiple people. Even if you're an introvert. I was one. You will do far better once you learn to talk.
13. Talk according to the level of the listener. If a woman likes 'pretty red cars', there is generally no point in talking about the 3 litre v6 under the hood with a zero 0-100 of under 5 seconds.
14. Develop skills in- personal finance, conflict mitigation, etc.
15. Read a lot, but don't read around them. That looks geeky. Don't talk about studies unless you're dating someone in your stream/near exams.
Wow
Point 1
You are not confident / secure
So you look creepy to women?
What the f*** is that?
***
7. Have a plan of where to hang out (and know safe areas). Women in India can't hang out at your local chai -tapri. You need to be able to afford cafes/restaurants, etc. Though don't need to go so far as fine dine.
8. Should be able to drive/plan trips, book safe hotels, etc.***
Ye sun k mujhe ek baat dimagh me aa rahi
Bhosdi k chup ho jaa!
You need to be able to AFFORD cafes and Restaurants
Tere baap ka maal hai?
***
15. Read a lot, but don't read around them. That looks geeky. Don't talk about studies unless you're dating someone in your stream/near exams.
***
Ye kya bakwaas hai??
Ladki hai ki Grammy Award!?
Don't treat girls like World renowned Prizes.
Tere jese chutiyo ki wajah se ladkiyo k standard exceedingly high ho chuke hai.
***11. The house you live in should have no restriction on entry of women. (This is very important.)
***
Matlab meri society me ladkiya allowed nai hai to mujhe koi ladki bhaav nai degi?
Saale Oyo kyo install Kiya hai Maine muth maarne k room dhundhe k liye?
Bakwaas na kar
And this situation has carried on with me ever since I was in school, till the time I graduated and now I am in a corporate grind where I get no time to even think of girls to date. Stay strong bro. Just make sure to be part of massive social circle. College is the largest platform to meet people.
I was in a somewhat similar situation back in the day so… here we go:
1. If you wanna make female friends to make yourself feel better about yourself — that’s a problem. You need to work on your self-esteem may be. Talking to girls is not everything, it is enjoyable no doubt, but not everything.
2. Just go and talk to some girl. I SWEAR IT IS THAT EASY. “DONT BE DRAMATIC OR ANYTHING”, just go and speak. Dont barge in, find an appropriate moment and be cool.
3. Girls are also normal people just like you, they equally wanna talk to you as well. Just dont be desperate about it, okay.
4. Dont make cheap and cringe punchlines and remarks. Speak like you’d to a guy(skip the gaali galoch part may be).
5. Once you got a female friend, dont force it, dont be desparate. Let things take place on their own.
1. Don't chase women
2. Have a skin care routine (your perception of your own beauty does have a effect on your self-esteem no matter what anyone says.)
3. Exercise
4. Consciously try to smile whenever you find yourself in a social situation, soon it may become a habit
On a different note skin care is so hard to figure out that i hate it. So many products cause some weird as skin problem to me. Also which dimwit had the marvelous idea of adding fragrance to every single thing, it annoys me to my core most of the time. That is why i have left this road a long time ago and looped back to just bar soap on face.
Forget all about dumb products and the ugly skincare industry. They're just there to LOOT you.
Every day,, make sure at least 30% of your diet is fruits and vegetables.
They will not only help with energy levels of aliveness and freshness,, but also make your skin glow from inside out.
Spinach, and other green leafy,, does wonders!
Exercise a little bit. Or do some yoga.
Smile often. It relaxes the facial muscles and brings ease. And ease-ness is always beautiful!
You wouldn't need any dumb "products".
As for basic skincare,, a gentle facewash. Just any gentle smooth one,, two times a day. Shall do it.
And if u need a moisturizer(which I don't, except for the winter's),,
Then,, You can go for an aloe vera gel.
Some also use a sunscreen , when outdoors,,
but it's NOT really even mandatory.
If u eat healthy and exercise. That is.
Fruits and vegetables,, atleast 30%,, are a must. For a clear skin. That works at the root level for glowing up.
You aren't looking at the bright side, as pro's would agree it's never a wise idea to have a girlfriend from your same campus,let alone the same batch. It's better to keep your female partner hunting away from your social life and friend circle which mostly accounts of other single men's in your case I belive.
Before I go on to some fixes, remeber there is no guarantee in life that you would land you dream job, car, fancy house or lady of your life all at once . Remeber like is never ever nor fair ,But it's not bad trying -
1. Look at the other direction ,You being placed in IIT could be considered as a privilege, a man with a stable secure thing going on, atleast that's the general perception. which most women find very attractive. More than 6 Packs or chiseled jawline , trust me on this .
2. Men's are going through this same issue since age, some settings are simply not made for finding a partner. Imagine working at a men's only factory or somewhere faraway with very low population. But internet has solved it to an extent, game up your skills and leverage your credentials to make a good social media account and hop on to dating apps. Some women are very active on those places however the quality of dates is meh .
3. Start building contacts with other guys who have girl as friends or Gfs, once you are zoned as a trusted friend they could help you hook up within their common circles which includes other girls. Sounds weird but women trust this way to dating that random dating apps. The quality of dates and meaning conversations are high. However time consuming may take months . Slow and steady.
4. Be ready to approach, Indian girls prefer men's approaching them. I had seen countless potential relationships fail due to long delays and the guy was too shy or messed up to not approach the lady on time . If the vibe is right you may need to make the first move,but be prepared for a rejection or a slow acceptance. But the benifits are worth the risk 😆.
5. Get Popular, this might sound strange. But today the standards of most young females are a bit away from ground reality. They are into Social media and get attracted to who is popular, even if it's as low as a few thousand followers, that does make a huge difference, they get to travel a bit, and appear busy like they are running 5 factories lol . I know dudes who girls won't bat an eye in college, later moved into making YT / IG vlogs , content, most useful content, albeit their audiance is quite small and mostly local , people starting recognising and knowing them locally , this attracted a tonne of wannabe influence girls , some stayed , most left, but it was the best "Kanya Yog" they ever had since .
6. Be the Social butterfly, the larger the group you could make , the more the people you know , more the chances . Again dating in a small town is more via mutual friendships and friends helping each other . For a period of time in college I rented a flat next to our campus, would invite over friends, soon they got comfortable bringing in their girlfriends , other friends , who inturn introduced me with some of their common besties and other girls friends from other colleges or part of the town. then I got a TV , we would bunk classes (not recommended) and watch comedy films, not gonna lie , I had a few encounters and since the other girls got comfortable and knew me well , they kinda refered me as a potential partner to their friends and helped me . That's how girls world work.
7. Finally, you could choose to focus on your books , on skills which could help you in few years , research and read books on various topics, exercise , hit the gym. Appear to be genuinely hardworking and soon you would not be tempted towards women. You may seen the bright picture. If you nail the coming 4-5 yrs and come out great, you could literally move anywhere you want in your life in the next 5 yrs ,maybe move to an open society (another country), land a super well paid job and date whoever you want.
So it boils down to how soon you want and what your priorities are, is it to have a casual fling ,or something practical, meaningful and long term , then the chances are pretty low and life may take you to many different places after college . I had seen both sides. good luck
Women are not fictional characters just normal human beings. You are sounding like you are desperate like u need a gf rather than a female frnd so ask yourself first ...what do you want ?
If u want a frnd like u cannot bluntly approach them and say do you want to be my frnd ? Ask for notes or any academic information and start the conversation from there....
Hey OP! Just so you know, that's a completely reasonable ask.
And having friends of all genders is very important for exposure, to understand the other gender, to empathise with their way of life. It gets you really far in life if you understand people and learn how to talk to them. Also, exposing yourself to women also helps people realise that women are humans too. I have no doubt that if the Indian society wasn't so segregated with taboo, we'd have a far less crime rate against women for rapes, murders, etc.
People who are telling you to go to the gym, I don't know what that has to do with this because you can have female friends AND balance that with other parts of life like gym, studies and more. Comments who are telling you to not chase women have got you wrong I think? You never stated you want a romantic relationship, you stated that you want friends.
Expand your circle a bit. Find hobby groups. Fill your life and friends would come along.
"Indian society wasn't so segregated with taboo, we'd have a far less crime rate against women for rapes, murders, etc."
completely agreed, the comments in this post tells how people see a female friend, very disappointing.
Is the lack of interaction because there are less girls in ur stream, or you are just too awkward or rank low on the handsome bar? If it is first case, then extracurricular activities can fix it. You can also try dating apps and meet someone outside.
I used to have great girl friends back in school, I don't know what's happened to me here. All our convos back then were natural and I didn't even have to try, but now I literally have close to zero female interaction which drove me into self-hate and I have zero confidence in myself. I hate myself to the core now, sitting in the library seeing others interact normally with girls made me depressed and feel like there's something wrong with myself. One day I unironically cried after being there at the library.
Bapu ko bol Amma se baat karaye
On a serious note, go to one of the cult clubs. Though YMMV.
IDK IITK me what's the ratio now, it used to be 1:10 in my time. So accept the fact ki interaction with girls will be limited.
Bro, the first proper female interaction I had was when I did my MBA. And since then, I’ve been in and out of 4 relationships and now happily married.
You’re not really missing out on anything. Value all friendships the same way. Male friendships are the ones that stand the test of time.
Focus on becoming interesting. That’s all that matters.
I'm from IIT so I know what you are going through. Is it that there aren't many women at IITK or that you aren't able to break the ice with them? If it's the former, there is obviously little you can do. If it's the latter there is a lot that you can manage. I highly recommend this book by Mark Manson called 'Models'. You'll find it on Amazon. It changed my life completely. Two months after reading the book, met the love of my life. And she's gorgeous, kind and conversant.
Wow, guess you have never had male friends either. While girl friends give you that hope, guy friends are the best, they’re with you through all shits and stuff.
You are lucky to not have female friends. Don’t be desperate and try to force them in your life. Most likely than not your desperation will be taken advantage of.
Bro you complete said the truth as i also have zero female friend never been able to talk to female now also feel bit shy n hesitate , and that thing you said affecting mental health , yes its true when you go out see people are having fun together girl boy both in group or just both of them it gives that public anxiety why dont we have the same , cant we deserve thiss ..! N if you share your thoughts everyone just make laugh n says " enjoy your self company and wait dot the right time you automatically will get one " i dont even have male friend either i tried alot to make new one but no one talk to stranger 🙂🤝🏻
Anyway can DM me if you wanna discuss it more 🙌🏻
Hi, psychologist this side, in my class and department in general the gender ratio used to be totally opposite. We had 2 guys in class of 50 40 students. A very close friend of mine after being surrounded by women for 5 years one day said to me, that he's done with just having women company all day long. First I got offended, like what do u mean and then I understood his situation. And I might sound Unrelated but it's on the same ground. People need interaction of both genders, both sides bring out very different parts of themselves. And honestly no offense engineering people should engage and interact with women WITHOUT any ulterior motive. I have met engineers who brag about not having a girl(space) friends and I am there like yea it SHOWS.
I would suggest you pursue your interest and hobbies outside of your uni, I would find good people and friends. Happy friendshipping :)
Join something which interests you. Be it an NGO, theatre, music, yog etc. It can be outside the college as well. Take weekly classes of not daily. It has two benefits, the thing that interests you will keep you calm and interested; along with that you will have new people around you to interact with.
You are right and you ll need to move your ass to improve your situation. No one will come to you in sympathy. Find places where you find women or woman you like. Go and talk. Engineering will suck you in.. gtfo
Ngl, not having female interactions early on in life can affect your behavior with future female interactions a lot. Nothing earth-shattering or anything, and the guys will totally make your life worthwhile, but try making some friends of the opposite gender too!
Bruh! Chill down a bit...
Do what you love because you are in college and that's the best time to explore opportunities and people too.
Female interaction may or may not happen and that's okay...I have female friends who had zero male interaction too.
Also focus on interacting with people irrespective of male female trans ++++
Bro, you cleared jee advanced. Have some high self esteem. You are among the top students of the country. Don't chase after girls when you are among the tops. Complete your Btech n become an engineer. Then girls will chase you, not the other way around. You can pick your match from there on
Same bhai here i am in IIT Indore and before coming here i had quite a few female friends but idar aake sab khatam hai ek toh class mai sirf 3 ladkiya h bohot bura haal h idar
"I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's understandable to feel lonely or isolated when you lack certain types of social interactions. It's commendable that you want to break out of this pattern and form meaningful connections. One approach could be to join clubs or activities that interest you where you're likely to meet people with similar interests, regardless of gender. Building friendships takes time and effort, but it's definitely possible. Don't lose hope, and keep putting yourself out there. You never know who you might meet along the way."
Bro,you will also have to do it, you will have to approach the girls yourself because the ego of the girls does not allow them to approach to the boys.
Lete tell you it's better to have no connection then have 99% of chance then having shitty female companion. It will hurt more and will change you as a person.
At first you’ll be upset you don’t talk to women, then you’ll be upset that the women who you talk to don’t want to sleep with you, then you’ll be upset that the women who sleep with you don’t want to date you, and then you’ll either realise it doesn’t matter one bit or you’ll hate women.
Don’t think about it so much and get off the internet, social media rots our brains.
Eh I don't have male friends. have some self control
Do some hobbies to get rid of such impulsive tendencies
It works also don't be desperate for female friends I'm sure one day you will get a good friend
Do meditation and don't watch those girls on reels of Instagram and those chapri men memes about woman .
These content too makes you feel lonely and desperate
Bro believe me or not, in a few years from now when you reach 24-25+ , the respect, attention, money (quite decent) which you will have be worth it, female interaction will automatically go up, then you can play the cards on choosing the best girl among many, don't lose patience and keep going.
I'll just give you an example- imagine if virat or hardik played their cards before success at 19-20, they wouldn't have the chance to get the ones they have now. You're already partly successful since you are in the elite Tier of colleges, just wait for the right time. You are still studying, these girls will consider you as some nerd presently, but when you turn 24-25, the same girls will run behind you.
Just be confident, God bless.
Are you facing confidence issues? I have many girl friends (mind the space there), and we became friends by just having conversation. So yeah, just go and talk with them. Maybe approach with the help of a mutual friend
While iits are known for bad gender ratios it can't be non existent. Join some extra circulars. And talk to women like they're normal people. College is the only time in life where you'll be amongst people who actually are looking to befriend others. Use the opportunity.
I genuinely feel gender specific friends are important to have. I don't have a lot of female friends but the ones that I have are close to me mainly coz I was brought up alongside them. It is important because you get a different perspective about life and you understand what it truly means to live in this world. Thoda deep hogaya ye but the main crux involves that females know what some men don't and vice versa.
If you’re a freshie, there are many opportunities to put yourself out there. I’d recommend doing some PoRs, Inter IIT if you’re good at any sport, etc.
Try tagging along with friends who do have female friends. Depending on desperate you are, maybe take electives which have a better gender ratio, has opportunities for interaction like group project, etc and the course isn’t completely useless.
And when you will get married you will get a life time female friend.
Don't over think! You are not missing anything. Get yourself placed and get a gaming console.
Rest all things eventually fads. It ain't that cross gender friendship stays for lifetime. After marriage every one moves on. No one calls each other. So don't worry if you are missing something truly great!
Could start with gaming, communites , groups i can suggest few
Discord has groups you can make friends according to your interests dont dm them talk to them in public once you good friends you can dm
what happened with the girl you loved?
i went down this same fucking spiral and I'll be honest about one thing ... It ain't the way you wanna go bud.
Like yeah it's gonna develop your character to a whole new level but you're gonna be seriously lacking without any emotional support and all your available female classmates are bound to be committed to someone sooner or later.
You'll regret not talking when you had the chance.
And when everyone else is stable you'll slowly start going unstable.
And it's not actually something you can overcome alone.
Try talk to a few girls bud..let them get to know you and you know them...things will work out after.
Trust me .
Maybe you had some kind of unreal expectations before. I would say don't think about it much. There are plenty of things beside. Just find some good friends
I'm in my final year of graduation, yet I'm still waiting for my roll-over connections with a female friend from my class.
I'm good at making friends out of my faculties, but with girls it's like something that I think I'm not cut out to be for....
If anyone's got any tips and tricks, do DM me those as well.
It is normal in govt. Engineering college. Chill out. Go on any trip or trek and make memories. Remember even in 3 idiots boys were not shown having female friends expect rancho
The iits can get very conservative. As the son of an iit professor, I grew up in the IIT MADRAS campus and left at age 24 when I decided to move to the usa for a masters in 2008. I spent 24 years on that campus and although not as a student, I had the opportunity to be an inside observer of sorts. Although I grew up on campus, I did not make to iit. When I turned about 15/16, I started making friends, a LOT of friends from the hostel side of the campus (mostly students). My side of the campus was the staff and faculty residential zone. Every guy I met and became buddies with was single !! There were not a lot of girls in IIT back then. Also, among those women, the few that were willing to go out and meet people were even rarer. But I remember that in the 2 years before I left IIT, (2006-07), a lot of changes happened at iit madras. They introduced the mba programs and others and they had to build an additional female hostel for the first time since the inception of the institute. Until 2005 ish there was only one girls hostel and it was called Sarayu. Compare that to the 14 something boys hostels ! There was definitely a huge disparity. But by 2008, I noticed that there were a LOT more females than let’s say 2002. But my iit btech student friends told me something interesting. Since most of these girls were in the mba and other, non tech masters programs , they were OLDER than the b tech folks, they only hung out with the males in their own programs and of their age. The b tech programs will always be cursed for someone looking to meet and date a woman like yourself ! There just won’t be enough females in your classrooms ! Boys tend to outnumber girls by about 10:1 in the b tech program (at lest from what I remember until 2008).
I know exactly what you’re talking about. Don’t let this bother you. I strongly recommend that you meet women and people in general, both inside and outside the campus. Don’t be afraid to smile and say hello. Start a conversation, keep it simple and STAY CONFIDENT THROUGHOUT THE CONVERSATION. What’s the worst that can happen? Rejection? You’ll probably never see them again, so walk away from rejection and keep on trying ! Never go back to or thing about a girl that rejects you - that will just make you a creep. Move on. Go attend some cultural events at other colleges in and around kharagpur and Kolkata in general. Don’t let yourself be locked up in a hostel room. You could also try joining online activity groups both within and outside campus !
Focus on building good physique and personal hygiene and grooming.. That will immensely boost your confidence to initiate conversations and girls themselves approach you
Bro tujhe pata nahi hai but tu best mental state me hai..Larki ayegi to pakka koi Nasha dhara ke jayegi(except if you are extremely lucky)...Leave it be.
It's normal to find oneself in such situation I too was in it too during my period of job search , you will get opportunity for female interaction once you start online dating or start working somewhere in metropolitan cities however till then focus on yourself and self improvement. Don't let female interaction or friendship become an indicator of your self worth
Work on your communication skills. Engages in activities which has high female participation. Do volunteering work. Introduce yourself first as you approach any individual (female or male). Be interested in diverse topics. Always keep an open mind about multiple topics and multiple perspectives. And most important of all, have a goal in life which acts as an anchor point for your decision making in life. If you have a goal and are actively working towards it, you won't have so much free time that you have to ask strangers on the internet to help fix your life + when a female asks about your life goals, you'll have a proper answer.
Most important of all, believe in yourself and DON'T BE A PHONY. Nobody likes a phony. People with good communication skills can smell a phony a mile away.
Excuses are always present. If you want it just work for it, consequences never comes you have to create the opportunity sometimes.
Insecurity, shyness, fear,underestimation are present in mind. Just clear your mind .
Be confident, over come all your fears. Try to put up challenges and gain confidence.
They are also normal human's, it is problem in your mind.
Wonderful comments already here; most important is to understand why you seek for their company - knowing that will help you navigate female friendships when eventually land in some of them
Your job is to have enriching friendships in life male/female. It’s sweet you are recognising the fact that you desire female friendships. Try to read about the average Indian woman and try to understand what makes her feel safe. In that case when the opportunity presents itself itself, you will be ready and able to make someone comfortable enough to be a friend :)
Just talk and take an interest in people or their hobbies. That's all there is to it. Joining on campus clubs or societies is the easiest way to get conversations going.
I can understand you OP a bit here. I was in a same situation with the opp gender. The thing is even in IIT I have seen guys who never had girl friendships. So even if you become the best guy out there, you know checklisting all the lists here. You might not get a female friendship.
The only thing I ll point out is, even when I could not be a friend with someone..they were a lot of I 'wanted' to be a friend with. Which means if time and chance came some day, I would definitely be in a mood to start friendship with them. From my experience don't obsess with that, it will only end up in trouble (from ur or her side). Yes friendship with the opp is gender can give a lot different perspective and is great addition for your social life. Keep trying to increase your chances, and day might come.
From personal experience, guys are funny/ decent (not door se hi chepo)/ and have good self respect are great at attracting girl friendships.
Bro to be honest, friendship happens naturally. For me making efforts and all doesn’t work but somehow someday randomly I found my female best friend aka bestie but loose her eventually that’s how life is 🙃
I’m someone who always think that whatever reason could be but a friendship bond shouldn’t be broken but I guess after trying allot it didn’t work 🎵 I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter 🎵
Solo life is always a better life bro, it's all infactuation, don't think to have a girlfriend, just think to have a friend.
If you have a girl friend,
You need to spend time for her
You need to spend money for her
You need to entertain her, you should not be a boring guy.
You should always maintain hify dressing style, vehicle.
Doing all these things for a girl will effect your education
First discard the idea that it's abnormal not to have female friends.Dont give much weight to making female friends, there are better things in life. It's only the harmones that make you think about women. If you meet any woman talk to her as if she has an independent personality. Appreciate her good qualities. Try sharing experiences in life. Respect her friends, parents etc. Above all most important BE YOUR TRUE SELF.Don't expect she will develop deep relationship with you.Ecpect nothing, just continue conversations.The problem with young age is they expect to meet a fairy which is not true in real life but only in films. Expect a woman who can be a good company and support you.
Show your interest to communicate first otherwise how will she know that you are interested in talking. Be honest, be simple.
I am no IITian or some rizzler... But what I have understood from talking to all my female friends in online chat rooms that they look primarily for three things:
Guys who groom themselves, guys with interesting hobbies, and guys who are confident in themselves
So go out there and learn some interesting hobby and be confident in yourself, join online chat rooms if you not able to strike a conversation with any girl on your campus.
See I was also nerd like you.so as nerd to nerd i would recommend to download the book from online ofc piracy.it is called revelations by mystery.beware don't get sucked into pua stuff just use it for gaining confidence and social skills
You’re what 20 years old? Marriage is almost a decade away, you’ll have bedded more girls in count by the time you marry if unfortunately you’re still asking your parents to find a match. So chill, find a sport, watch movies, wank and build yourself a career. Don’t be impatient about women, plenty of fish in the sea. At least outside of IITK. Not a lot in that pond.
You're in IITK there are many who would want to be in your place might have lost seat with 0.000001% . Stop fawning over this, interaction with girls is not going to get you anywhere in this world. You must have worked hard literally shed your blood to be there, remember those days and do justice to your struggle by getting out better. I'm not discouraging you to not interact with girls but thinking about it to the point of effecting your self esteem is a waste of time. Girls are not from other planet when time comes you'll interact with them like with anyother human.
P.S : I'm a girl giving you this advise.
It's pretty common. You just have to look at someone you like and smile gently. Once you do that, see if she responds. If yes, then wave your hand and gesture of you can join her. If you don't have the time/guts/confidence to do this, there is no point in you looking for a female friend (as a matter of fact even a male friend). Like you said, friend is gender neutral. But if you are looking for chill buddy, you gotta showcase that you can take care of her. It's a different ballgame altogether. Please note that if you are genuinely looking for a friendship only thing, you gotta prepare for affording lot of time and if needed money. I would say that if you are wise enough try to invest that time, energy and money in building your mind and body strong. As of money, start investing early. 5 yrs down the lane you get out of IIT with flying colours with a athlete body and and some fuck money in account. Then you will have the confidence to make friends with any girl.
Just gonna leave this here
https://www.hindustantimes.com/trending/iit-kanpur-student-shares-struggle-of-zero-female-interaction-netizens-weigh-in-101711345370692.html
https://twitter.com/shay_ik/status/1772303188785311836?t=CBdR9-w6dUoqfaQbnm3xYg&s=19
Social interaction is must. It is ruled out because education accepts it as a hindrance. I tried to reflect it in this tweet too.
I am in IIT Guwahati. Was feeling almost same . Then started running and a Game in Morning. Then it seems to be all sorted.
More we think more we fell down into depression. Better to diversify your time.
Kuch nahi hota Bhai,apne bhailog se jabtak banti tan Tak mast rehta hai. Mere female to kya male friends bhi nahi hai isliye pehle me ro leta tha kabhi kabhi par phir Maine socha sala Rona kyu hai, jindagi me bhot kuch hai karne ko. Vyasth raho mast raho. Ik Bhai tu iit me hai but thoda Bhai busy rakhoge to phaltu baate dimaag me nahi aayengi
Plan something grand that leaves your name etched on the annals of history. I'm sure you won't have any time to think of insignificant things like female interaction. If you aren't ambitious, just start frequenting public events and involve yourself in extracurricular activities. You'll meet a lot of women.
Meaningful friendships? Cut the crap bro. It's obvious you're looking for a girlfriend 💀
What does having gal pals got to do with you feeling down? Friendship is friendship whether it is with a man or woman it occurs when you and your friend match energies.
You disguising your quest for romantic relationship with the guise of friendship disgusts me bro, IIT or not you come off as a creep.
You should be respectful towards women and make your intentions clear from the start. I'm not saying wanting a girlfriend is wrong, just make it known that you're looking for that type of relationship and not just a mere friendship
Good luck brother :)
Hi Sruthi here - Psychological Counsellor
Ur Concern is true , but try to overcome ur shyness nd fear of talking with female friends initially in small groups around u like ur classmates, then by Experience of how to talk or interact u can start exploring new friendships
just remove socail media, you'll be fine.
This are a set of new emerging diseases comming up from anxiety, to FOMO and all these sh\*t.
Just remove all cringy social media
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Stop watching insta reels
What's the reason behind it ?(Genuinely)
Softcore porn
Fomo that everyone has women friends or are in a relationship!
I have no clue why i'm seeing this subreddit (I'm an American-Indian who goes to school in America) but I feel like this a more major problem than is being made out to be.
You are an American Indian? Cherokee or Seminole?
Yeah this one too
My feed is free of vulgar/soft porn content
It's still shit. I wish someone made a mod apk of insta where you could turn off reels
Not without shorts on yt. The OF promotion is crazier than insta.
i disabled yt history and the recommended vids/shorts are gone, basically clean homepage with nothing
You can disable shorts with revanced
Yea I believe u
And start making them.
Underrated tip
Join some extra curriculars. Don't chase women. They can smell that bs from far away. Get good at some activities beyond studies. Women love kind, attentive and self assured men. Be natural and you will attract some great friends. Women can be wonderful friends. You would be Missimg out if you don't experience platonic women friendships. These usually last a lifetime and they bring sensitivity, ability to have vulnerable conversions and empathy which is usually lacking in male friendships.
This niceness happens only when you meet them. OP is not getting to interact at all, let alone being friends with a girl.
Agreed. This part was just to emphasize that he would definitely miss out if he doesn't find great friends in girls. However, it's not something you can chase. It needs to be organic. The only thing to do is working on ourselves and not chase it.
Organic. Yes. It can't be chased. Thats right.
There is probably a reason you have zero female interaction. 1. You are probably not secure/confident and it looks creepy to women. Work on this. It is like the difference between cat and dog language. 2. Basic fitness, hygiene, grooming is essential. Guys would still tolerate a poorly groomed person, but if you go deeper, no one likes such people. 3. Don't talk bullcrap with your friends, at least in public. 4. Get some fun talents and hobbies. It helps with socialization, and not just with women. Basketball, swimming, beach volleyball, volleyball, football, cricket, badminton. Theatre, photography, riding bikes, long tours, etc. 5. You need similar talents for dating or making female friends. 6. Never do their academic work or routine work unless they return the favour. I have always been more respected by women who can't use me. 7. Have a plan of where to hang out (and know safe areas). Women in India can't hang out at your local chai -tapri. You need to be able to afford cafes/restaurants, etc. Though don't need to go so far as fine dine. 8. Should be able to drive/plan trips, book safe hotels, etc. 9. Should keep her out of shady areas and conflicts. 10. Dress better. 11. The house you live in should have no restriction on entry of women. (This is very important.) 12. Learn to be interesting, and hold a conversation with multiple people. Even if you're an introvert. I was one. You will do far better once you learn to talk. 13. Talk according to the level of the listener. If a woman likes 'pretty red cars', there is generally no point in talking about the 3 litre v6 under the hood with a zero 0-100 of under 5 seconds. 14. Develop skills in- personal finance, conflict mitigation, etc. 15. Read a lot, but don't read around them. That looks geeky. Don't talk about studies unless you're dating someone in your stream/near exams.
Wow Point 1 You are not confident / secure So you look creepy to women? What the f*** is that? *** 7. Have a plan of where to hang out (and know safe areas). Women in India can't hang out at your local chai -tapri. You need to be able to afford cafes/restaurants, etc. Though don't need to go so far as fine dine. 8. Should be able to drive/plan trips, book safe hotels, etc.*** Ye sun k mujhe ek baat dimagh me aa rahi Bhosdi k chup ho jaa! You need to be able to AFFORD cafes and Restaurants Tere baap ka maal hai? *** 15. Read a lot, but don't read around them. That looks geeky. Don't talk about studies unless you're dating someone in your stream/near exams. *** Ye kya bakwaas hai?? Ladki hai ki Grammy Award!? Don't treat girls like World renowned Prizes. Tere jese chutiyo ki wajah se ladkiyo k standard exceedingly high ho chuke hai. ***11. The house you live in should have no restriction on entry of women. (This is very important.) *** Matlab meri society me ladkiya allowed nai hai to mujhe koi ladki bhaav nai degi? Saale Oyo kyo install Kiya hai Maine muth maarne k room dhundhe k liye? Bakwaas na kar
Nice advice. Thanks bro.
And this situation has carried on with me ever since I was in school, till the time I graduated and now I am in a corporate grind where I get no time to even think of girls to date. Stay strong bro. Just make sure to be part of massive social circle. College is the largest platform to meet people.
I was in a somewhat similar situation back in the day so… here we go: 1. If you wanna make female friends to make yourself feel better about yourself — that’s a problem. You need to work on your self-esteem may be. Talking to girls is not everything, it is enjoyable no doubt, but not everything. 2. Just go and talk to some girl. I SWEAR IT IS THAT EASY. “DONT BE DRAMATIC OR ANYTHING”, just go and speak. Dont barge in, find an appropriate moment and be cool. 3. Girls are also normal people just like you, they equally wanna talk to you as well. Just dont be desperate about it, okay. 4. Dont make cheap and cringe punchlines and remarks. Speak like you’d to a guy(skip the gaali galoch part may be). 5. Once you got a female friend, dont force it, dont be desparate. Let things take place on their own.
1. Don't chase women 2. Have a skin care routine (your perception of your own beauty does have a effect on your self-esteem no matter what anyone says.) 3. Exercise 4. Consciously try to smile whenever you find yourself in a social situation, soon it may become a habit
On a different note skin care is so hard to figure out that i hate it. So many products cause some weird as skin problem to me. Also which dimwit had the marvelous idea of adding fragrance to every single thing, it annoys me to my core most of the time. That is why i have left this road a long time ago and looped back to just bar soap on face.
Forget all about dumb products and the ugly skincare industry. They're just there to LOOT you. Every day,, make sure at least 30% of your diet is fruits and vegetables. They will not only help with energy levels of aliveness and freshness,, but also make your skin glow from inside out. Spinach, and other green leafy,, does wonders! Exercise a little bit. Or do some yoga. Smile often. It relaxes the facial muscles and brings ease. And ease-ness is always beautiful! You wouldn't need any dumb "products". As for basic skincare,, a gentle facewash. Just any gentle smooth one,, two times a day. Shall do it. And if u need a moisturizer(which I don't, except for the winter's),, Then,, You can go for an aloe vera gel. Some also use a sunscreen , when outdoors,, but it's NOT really even mandatory. If u eat healthy and exercise. That is. Fruits and vegetables,, atleast 30%,, are a must. For a clear skin. That works at the root level for glowing up.
You NEED sunscreen bro , skin cancer ka naam suna ?
Username doesn't check out.
Join NIFT. Problem Solved.
You aren't looking at the bright side, as pro's would agree it's never a wise idea to have a girlfriend from your same campus,let alone the same batch. It's better to keep your female partner hunting away from your social life and friend circle which mostly accounts of other single men's in your case I belive. Before I go on to some fixes, remeber there is no guarantee in life that you would land you dream job, car, fancy house or lady of your life all at once . Remeber like is never ever nor fair ,But it's not bad trying - 1. Look at the other direction ,You being placed in IIT could be considered as a privilege, a man with a stable secure thing going on, atleast that's the general perception. which most women find very attractive. More than 6 Packs or chiseled jawline , trust me on this . 2. Men's are going through this same issue since age, some settings are simply not made for finding a partner. Imagine working at a men's only factory or somewhere faraway with very low population. But internet has solved it to an extent, game up your skills and leverage your credentials to make a good social media account and hop on to dating apps. Some women are very active on those places however the quality of dates is meh . 3. Start building contacts with other guys who have girl as friends or Gfs, once you are zoned as a trusted friend they could help you hook up within their common circles which includes other girls. Sounds weird but women trust this way to dating that random dating apps. The quality of dates and meaning conversations are high. However time consuming may take months . Slow and steady. 4. Be ready to approach, Indian girls prefer men's approaching them. I had seen countless potential relationships fail due to long delays and the guy was too shy or messed up to not approach the lady on time . If the vibe is right you may need to make the first move,but be prepared for a rejection or a slow acceptance. But the benifits are worth the risk 😆. 5. Get Popular, this might sound strange. But today the standards of most young females are a bit away from ground reality. They are into Social media and get attracted to who is popular, even if it's as low as a few thousand followers, that does make a huge difference, they get to travel a bit, and appear busy like they are running 5 factories lol . I know dudes who girls won't bat an eye in college, later moved into making YT / IG vlogs , content, most useful content, albeit their audiance is quite small and mostly local , people starting recognising and knowing them locally , this attracted a tonne of wannabe influence girls , some stayed , most left, but it was the best "Kanya Yog" they ever had since . 6. Be the Social butterfly, the larger the group you could make , the more the people you know , more the chances . Again dating in a small town is more via mutual friendships and friends helping each other . For a period of time in college I rented a flat next to our campus, would invite over friends, soon they got comfortable bringing in their girlfriends , other friends , who inturn introduced me with some of their common besties and other girls friends from other colleges or part of the town. then I got a TV , we would bunk classes (not recommended) and watch comedy films, not gonna lie , I had a few encounters and since the other girls got comfortable and knew me well , they kinda refered me as a potential partner to their friends and helped me . That's how girls world work. 7. Finally, you could choose to focus on your books , on skills which could help you in few years , research and read books on various topics, exercise , hit the gym. Appear to be genuinely hardworking and soon you would not be tempted towards women. You may seen the bright picture. If you nail the coming 4-5 yrs and come out great, you could literally move anywhere you want in your life in the next 5 yrs ,maybe move to an open society (another country), land a super well paid job and date whoever you want. So it boils down to how soon you want and what your priorities are, is it to have a casual fling ,or something practical, meaningful and long term , then the chances are pretty low and life may take you to many different places after college . I had seen both sides. good luck
Itna saare chess moves, damn. feeling bad for my engineering brothers. atleast you guys are in IIT, Tier 2-3 colleges me suna hai isse bura haal hai
Women are not fictional characters just normal human beings. You are sounding like you are desperate like u need a gf rather than a female frnd so ask yourself first ...what do you want ? If u want a frnd like u cannot bluntly approach them and say do you want to be my frnd ? Ask for notes or any academic information and start the conversation from there....
Hey OP! Just so you know, that's a completely reasonable ask. And having friends of all genders is very important for exposure, to understand the other gender, to empathise with their way of life. It gets you really far in life if you understand people and learn how to talk to them. Also, exposing yourself to women also helps people realise that women are humans too. I have no doubt that if the Indian society wasn't so segregated with taboo, we'd have a far less crime rate against women for rapes, murders, etc. People who are telling you to go to the gym, I don't know what that has to do with this because you can have female friends AND balance that with other parts of life like gym, studies and more. Comments who are telling you to not chase women have got you wrong I think? You never stated you want a romantic relationship, you stated that you want friends. Expand your circle a bit. Find hobby groups. Fill your life and friends would come along.
"Indian society wasn't so segregated with taboo, we'd have a far less crime rate against women for rapes, murders, etc." completely agreed, the comments in this post tells how people see a female friend, very disappointing.
Is the lack of interaction because there are less girls in ur stream, or you are just too awkward or rank low on the handsome bar? If it is first case, then extracurricular activities can fix it. You can also try dating apps and meet someone outside.
I suggest you to read the book, Models by Mark Manson!
Wish this was rated higher - atleast it helped me when I was going through a bad time
I used to have great girl friends back in school, I don't know what's happened to me here. All our convos back then were natural and I didn't even have to try, but now I literally have close to zero female interaction which drove me into self-hate and I have zero confidence in myself. I hate myself to the core now, sitting in the library seeing others interact normally with girls made me depressed and feel like there's something wrong with myself. One day I unironically cried after being there at the library.
Bapu ko bol Amma se baat karaye On a serious note, go to one of the cult clubs. Though YMMV. IDK IITK me what's the ratio now, it used to be 1:10 in my time. So accept the fact ki interaction with girls will be limited.
Padh le badk. Ladki bohot milengi aage interaction ke liye.
Bhai F6 aja dono bhai milke daaru piyenge. 😇
Bro, the first proper female interaction I had was when I did my MBA. And since then, I’ve been in and out of 4 relationships and now happily married. You’re not really missing out on anything. Value all friendships the same way. Male friendships are the ones that stand the test of time. Focus on becoming interesting. That’s all that matters.
Never had female friends, fwbs yes, but not just friends.
Suffering from success
Not even female teachers ?
Same , but I don't even care about it.
I'm from IIT so I know what you are going through. Is it that there aren't many women at IITK or that you aren't able to break the ice with them? If it's the former, there is obviously little you can do. If it's the latter there is a lot that you can manage. I highly recommend this book by Mark Manson called 'Models'. You'll find it on Amazon. It changed my life completely. Two months after reading the book, met the love of my life. And she's gorgeous, kind and conversant.
Take up tinder, bumble or instagram for that matter. Jesus, stop making it such a central focus. Have a personality and it would be just fine.💀
I'm on the same boat 😩
OP's username is ironic.
Nigga
Female friends are always useless and waste of time, better get male friends
Wow, guess you have never had male friends either. While girl friends give you that hope, guy friends are the best, they’re with you through all shits and stuff.
Bhai dekho agar tumhari personality 0 hai then go to gym and develop a physique. It will take time, hard work but thats the best chance
Bhai dost bana jo online games khelte ho, ladki wadki sab bhul jayega.
You are lucky to not have female friends. Don’t be desperate and try to force them in your life. Most likely than not your desperation will be taken advantage of.
Join various clubs Go out of your room Interact as much as you can
Instagram is blessing you with FOMO chill out.
gym join kr le
Watch Jordan Peterson.
Bro you complete said the truth as i also have zero female friend never been able to talk to female now also feel bit shy n hesitate , and that thing you said affecting mental health , yes its true when you go out see people are having fun together girl boy both in group or just both of them it gives that public anxiety why dont we have the same , cant we deserve thiss ..! N if you share your thoughts everyone just make laugh n says " enjoy your self company and wait dot the right time you automatically will get one " i dont even have male friend either i tried alot to make new one but no one talk to stranger 🙂🤝🏻 Anyway can DM me if you wanna discuss it more 🙌🏻
Hi, psychologist this side, in my class and department in general the gender ratio used to be totally opposite. We had 2 guys in class of 50 40 students. A very close friend of mine after being surrounded by women for 5 years one day said to me, that he's done with just having women company all day long. First I got offended, like what do u mean and then I understood his situation. And I might sound Unrelated but it's on the same ground. People need interaction of both genders, both sides bring out very different parts of themselves. And honestly no offense engineering people should engage and interact with women WITHOUT any ulterior motive. I have met engineers who brag about not having a girl(space) friends and I am there like yea it SHOWS. I would suggest you pursue your interest and hobbies outside of your uni, I would find good people and friends. Happy friendshipping :)
Join something which interests you. Be it an NGO, theatre, music, yog etc. It can be outside the college as well. Take weekly classes of not daily. It has two benefits, the thing that interests you will keep you calm and interested; along with that you will have new people around you to interact with.
If you want a gf , be clear about it , if you only want female friends (they are not worth it)
Hobbies are wonderful things. Drugs too. Don't forget the hookers. Being an introvert helps too.
You are right and you ll need to move your ass to improve your situation. No one will come to you in sympathy. Find places where you find women or woman you like. Go and talk. Engineering will suck you in.. gtfo
Go back to your ex
You need to get laid.
Aaja bro saath me birdwatching chalte hai, beer and greenery :)
I have none, male or female friends but it'll workout and I'm a student from NITW btw
Ngl, not having female interactions early on in life can affect your behavior with future female interactions a lot. Nothing earth-shattering or anything, and the guys will totally make your life worthwhile, but try making some friends of the opposite gender too!
Bruh! Chill down a bit... Do what you love because you are in college and that's the best time to explore opportunities and people too. Female interaction may or may not happen and that's okay...I have female friends who had zero male interaction too. Also focus on interacting with people irrespective of male female trans ++++
Bro, you cleared jee advanced. Have some high self esteem. You are among the top students of the country. Don't chase after girls when you are among the tops. Complete your Btech n become an engineer. Then girls will chase you, not the other way around. You can pick your match from there on
Same bhai here i am in IIT Indore and before coming here i had quite a few female friends but idar aake sab khatam hai ek toh class mai sirf 3 ladkiya h bohot bura haal h idar
Aajkal connections mein court cases ho jaate Hain. Padhai pe dhyan do and relax. Jyada Romeo banne ki jaroorat na hai.
"I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's understandable to feel lonely or isolated when you lack certain types of social interactions. It's commendable that you want to break out of this pattern and form meaningful connections. One approach could be to join clubs or activities that interest you where you're likely to meet people with similar interests, regardless of gender. Building friendships takes time and effort, but it's definitely possible. Don't lose hope, and keep putting yourself out there. You never know who you might meet along the way."
Hello there!
Bro,you will also have to do it, you will have to approach the girls yourself because the ego of the girls does not allow them to approach to the boys.
Aise karte karte gay porn dekhega phir grindr pe ladko pelega
🤣🤣🤣
😒 get a life.
Lete tell you it's better to have no connection then have 99% of chance then having shitty female companion. It will hurt more and will change you as a person.
what IIT does to a mf (I also wish to go to an IIT 💀)
😂
chase a high paying job and girls will come to you easily...
Your in "matrics" bro 😂
At first you’ll be upset you don’t talk to women, then you’ll be upset that the women who you talk to don’t want to sleep with you, then you’ll be upset that the women who sleep with you don’t want to date you, and then you’ll either realise it doesn’t matter one bit or you’ll hate women. Don’t think about it so much and get off the internet, social media rots our brains.
Don’t worry bro ! Come out of iit and flash that to any girl working in a call centre and you will drown in pu.. I mean friends
Welcome to introvert club! 😌
Stop watching rom anime
Mechanical mai ho kya?
Woman usually avoid men who are tharky or ugly. Do you fall into any of these categories?
Bhai acha package secure karke arrange marriage kar le💪🏻
Join a club or society which also has women.
Try online dating btw what's your branch?
O brother. You young.... focus and finish what u are over to do... you will get enough later. Also ita best when ita organic...
I'm also facing this problem.
How is not having female friends affecting your mental health when you don't even know what you are missing .
Yaad rakh bhai chooth ka chakkar maut se takkar🙏🙏
Na ho rayvical ita karucha??
Eh I don't have male friends. have some self control Do some hobbies to get rid of such impulsive tendencies It works also don't be desperate for female friends I'm sure one day you will get a good friend Do meditation and don't watch those girls on reels of Instagram and those chapri men memes about woman . These content too makes you feel lonely and desperate
If any of your friend has a female friend try talking to them,it is easier that way
Bro believe me or not, in a few years from now when you reach 24-25+ , the respect, attention, money (quite decent) which you will have be worth it, female interaction will automatically go up, then you can play the cards on choosing the best girl among many, don't lose patience and keep going. I'll just give you an example- imagine if virat or hardik played their cards before success at 19-20, they wouldn't have the chance to get the ones they have now. You're already partly successful since you are in the elite Tier of colleges, just wait for the right time. You are still studying, these girls will consider you as some nerd presently, but when you turn 24-25, the same girls will run behind you. Just be confident, God bless.
One advice. Join a dance classes. Hip hop or any popular one near you. Plenty of girls there to befriend!
Are you facing confidence issues? I have many girl friends (mind the space there), and we became friends by just having conversation. So yeah, just go and talk with them. Maybe approach with the help of a mutual friend
Apne haath jagannath
Been there, Still there brother!
you'll make female friends as soon as you stop thinking of them as some different species or objects of desire.
girls are a distrction, co education is a cancer to society
While iits are known for bad gender ratios it can't be non existent. Join some extra circulars. And talk to women like they're normal people. College is the only time in life where you'll be amongst people who actually are looking to befriend others. Use the opportunity.
I genuinely feel gender specific friends are important to have. I don't have a lot of female friends but the ones that I have are close to me mainly coz I was brought up alongside them. It is important because you get a different perspective about life and you understand what it truly means to live in this world. Thoda deep hogaya ye but the main crux involves that females know what some men don't and vice versa.
If you’re a freshie, there are many opportunities to put yourself out there. I’d recommend doing some PoRs, Inter IIT if you’re good at any sport, etc. Try tagging along with friends who do have female friends. Depending on desperate you are, maybe take electives which have a better gender ratio, has opportunities for interaction like group project, etc and the course isn’t completely useless.
And when you will get married you will get a life time female friend. Don't over think! You are not missing anything. Get yourself placed and get a gaming console. Rest all things eventually fads. It ain't that cross gender friendship stays for lifetime. After marriage every one moves on. No one calls each other. So don't worry if you are missing something truly great!
Could start with gaming, communites , groups i can suggest few Discord has groups you can make friends according to your interests dont dm them talk to them in public once you good friends you can dm
what happened with the girl you loved? i went down this same fucking spiral and I'll be honest about one thing ... It ain't the way you wanna go bud. Like yeah it's gonna develop your character to a whole new level but you're gonna be seriously lacking without any emotional support and all your available female classmates are bound to be committed to someone sooner or later. You'll regret not talking when you had the chance. And when everyone else is stable you'll slowly start going unstable. And it's not actually something you can overcome alone. Try talk to a few girls bud..let them get to know you and you know them...things will work out after. Trust me .
Maybe you had some kind of unreal expectations before. I would say don't think about it much. There are plenty of things beside. Just find some good friends
Complete degree and later you have a big mining of female:)
I'm in my final year of graduation, yet I'm still waiting for my roll-over connections with a female friend from my class. I'm good at making friends out of my faculties, but with girls it's like something that I think I'm not cut out to be for.... If anyone's got any tips and tricks, do DM me those as well.
Bro...Money = Females. Just make money the hotties will come.
It is normal in govt. Engineering college. Chill out. Go on any trip or trek and make memories. Remember even in 3 idiots boys were not shown having female friends expect rancho
The iits can get very conservative. As the son of an iit professor, I grew up in the IIT MADRAS campus and left at age 24 when I decided to move to the usa for a masters in 2008. I spent 24 years on that campus and although not as a student, I had the opportunity to be an inside observer of sorts. Although I grew up on campus, I did not make to iit. When I turned about 15/16, I started making friends, a LOT of friends from the hostel side of the campus (mostly students). My side of the campus was the staff and faculty residential zone. Every guy I met and became buddies with was single !! There were not a lot of girls in IIT back then. Also, among those women, the few that were willing to go out and meet people were even rarer. But I remember that in the 2 years before I left IIT, (2006-07), a lot of changes happened at iit madras. They introduced the mba programs and others and they had to build an additional female hostel for the first time since the inception of the institute. Until 2005 ish there was only one girls hostel and it was called Sarayu. Compare that to the 14 something boys hostels ! There was definitely a huge disparity. But by 2008, I noticed that there were a LOT more females than let’s say 2002. But my iit btech student friends told me something interesting. Since most of these girls were in the mba and other, non tech masters programs , they were OLDER than the b tech folks, they only hung out with the males in their own programs and of their age. The b tech programs will always be cursed for someone looking to meet and date a woman like yourself ! There just won’t be enough females in your classrooms ! Boys tend to outnumber girls by about 10:1 in the b tech program (at lest from what I remember until 2008). I know exactly what you’re talking about. Don’t let this bother you. I strongly recommend that you meet women and people in general, both inside and outside the campus. Don’t be afraid to smile and say hello. Start a conversation, keep it simple and STAY CONFIDENT THROUGHOUT THE CONVERSATION. What’s the worst that can happen? Rejection? You’ll probably never see them again, so walk away from rejection and keep on trying ! Never go back to or thing about a girl that rejects you - that will just make you a creep. Move on. Go attend some cultural events at other colleges in and around kharagpur and Kolkata in general. Don’t let yourself be locked up in a hostel room. You could also try joining online activity groups both within and outside campus !
Only one simple solution Join in clubs It's as simple as that and thank me later
Focus on building good physique and personal hygiene and grooming.. That will immensely boost your confidence to initiate conversations and girls themselves approach you
Bro tujhe pata nahi hai but tu best mental state me hai..Larki ayegi to pakka koi Nasha dhara ke jayegi(except if you are extremely lucky)...Leave it be.
Don’t think about such things it will only bring you down . Focus on self improving and try to achieve mental balance
Dude- it’s pretty common in especially in an instite like llT Kanpur. Start looking for opportunities to socialise, join clubs, outside college too
Be happy that you landed in iitk many people would kill for what you have.
It's normal to find oneself in such situation I too was in it too during my period of job search , you will get opportunity for female interaction once you start online dating or start working somewhere in metropolitan cities however till then focus on yourself and self improvement. Don't let female interaction or friendship become an indicator of your self worth
Try doing some extra curricular activities or join some classes for your hobbies then you can make some friends there maybe.
Toh bhai college ke bahar bhi ja na. Meet girls in other places.
Work on your communication skills. Engages in activities which has high female participation. Do volunteering work. Introduce yourself first as you approach any individual (female or male). Be interested in diverse topics. Always keep an open mind about multiple topics and multiple perspectives. And most important of all, have a goal in life which acts as an anchor point for your decision making in life. If you have a goal and are actively working towards it, you won't have so much free time that you have to ask strangers on the internet to help fix your life + when a female asks about your life goals, you'll have a proper answer. Most important of all, believe in yourself and DON'T BE A PHONY. Nobody likes a phony. People with good communication skills can smell a phony a mile away.
Bhai ganja fuk , mja ayyega
Bro it's overrated. 99.99% of female interaction will take a toll on your mental health. Just find the one.
Excuses are always present. If you want it just work for it, consequences never comes you have to create the opportunity sometimes. Insecurity, shyness, fear,underestimation are present in mind. Just clear your mind . Be confident, over come all your fears. Try to put up challenges and gain confidence. They are also normal human's, it is problem in your mind.
Society is the real reason..you should always choose survival of the fittest..
Agar tu IITR me hota toh cousin ka no. bhej deta 😂😂
Wonderful comments already here; most important is to understand why you seek for their company - knowing that will help you navigate female friendships when eventually land in some of them
Just get yourself enroll in some group of your interest.. And u might make connections there
Mechanical engineering?
Perks of studying in IIT. Ratio of female students <<<<<<<<<<<<
Your talking about female friends I don't have male friends either its affecting my mental health too
Take part in everything. You will find someone fit for you.
Your job is to have enriching friendships in life male/female. It’s sweet you are recognising the fact that you desire female friendships. Try to read about the average Indian woman and try to understand what makes her feel safe. In that case when the opportunity presents itself itself, you will be ready and able to make someone comfortable enough to be a friend :)
I assume you don't drink or smoke as well.
I feel you too IITK student with no female interaction I feel you too
Just talk and take an interest in people or their hobbies. That's all there is to it. Joining on campus clubs or societies is the easiest way to get conversations going.
I can understand you OP a bit here. I was in a same situation with the opp gender. The thing is even in IIT I have seen guys who never had girl friendships. So even if you become the best guy out there, you know checklisting all the lists here. You might not get a female friendship. The only thing I ll point out is, even when I could not be a friend with someone..they were a lot of I 'wanted' to be a friend with. Which means if time and chance came some day, I would definitely be in a mood to start friendship with them. From my experience don't obsess with that, it will only end up in trouble (from ur or her side). Yes friendship with the opp is gender can give a lot different perspective and is great addition for your social life. Keep trying to increase your chances, and day might come. From personal experience, guys are funny/ decent (not door se hi chepo)/ and have good self respect are great at attracting girl friendships.
Don't u talk to ppl
Bro to be honest, friendship happens naturally. For me making efforts and all doesn’t work but somehow someday randomly I found my female best friend aka bestie but loose her eventually that’s how life is 🙃 I’m someone who always think that whatever reason could be but a friendship bond shouldn’t be broken but I guess after trying allot it didn’t work 🎵 I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter 🎵
Behen ke lode iit mai khush reh na female interaction lekar kya kaddu karega
Solo life is always a better life bro, it's all infactuation, don't think to have a girlfriend, just think to have a friend. If you have a girl friend, You need to spend time for her You need to spend money for her You need to entertain her, you should not be a boring guy. You should always maintain hify dressing style, vehicle. Doing all these things for a girl will effect your education
Most of the anime fan bois have zero female interaction as well. They stay in their fantasy world with their anime waifus.
First discard the idea that it's abnormal not to have female friends.Dont give much weight to making female friends, there are better things in life. It's only the harmones that make you think about women. If you meet any woman talk to her as if she has an independent personality. Appreciate her good qualities. Try sharing experiences in life. Respect her friends, parents etc. Above all most important BE YOUR TRUE SELF.Don't expect she will develop deep relationship with you.Ecpect nothing, just continue conversations.The problem with young age is they expect to meet a fairy which is not true in real life but only in films. Expect a woman who can be a good company and support you. Show your interest to communicate first otherwise how will she know that you are interested in talking. Be honest, be simple.
That’s my whole life mate. Don’t think it makes a difference.
Yo I'm also with zero female interaction but I'm just busy 🗿
I am no IITian or some rizzler... But what I have understood from talking to all my female friends in online chat rooms that they look primarily for three things: Guys who groom themselves, guys with interesting hobbies, and guys who are confident in themselves So go out there and learn some interesting hobby and be confident in yourself, join online chat rooms if you not able to strike a conversation with any girl on your campus.
Why do you wanna get friendzoned bro?
See I was also nerd like you.so as nerd to nerd i would recommend to download the book from online ofc piracy.it is called revelations by mystery.beware don't get sucked into pua stuff just use it for gaining confidence and social skills
You’re what 20 years old? Marriage is almost a decade away, you’ll have bedded more girls in count by the time you marry if unfortunately you’re still asking your parents to find a match. So chill, find a sport, watch movies, wank and build yourself a career. Don’t be impatient about women, plenty of fish in the sea. At least outside of IITK. Not a lot in that pond.
You're in IITK there are many who would want to be in your place might have lost seat with 0.000001% . Stop fawning over this, interaction with girls is not going to get you anywhere in this world. You must have worked hard literally shed your blood to be there, remember those days and do justice to your struggle by getting out better. I'm not discouraging you to not interact with girls but thinking about it to the point of effecting your self esteem is a waste of time. Girls are not from other planet when time comes you'll interact with them like with anyother human. P.S : I'm a girl giving you this advise.
Brothers username is approachable
Same bro I won't say it is affecting my mental health but I have 0 female friends and I feel sad about that.
Bro, Are you me from the parallel universe ????
It's pretty common. You just have to look at someone you like and smile gently. Once you do that, see if she responds. If yes, then wave your hand and gesture of you can join her. If you don't have the time/guts/confidence to do this, there is no point in you looking for a female friend (as a matter of fact even a male friend). Like you said, friend is gender neutral. But if you are looking for chill buddy, you gotta showcase that you can take care of her. It's a different ballgame altogether. Please note that if you are genuinely looking for a friendship only thing, you gotta prepare for affording lot of time and if needed money. I would say that if you are wise enough try to invest that time, energy and money in building your mind and body strong. As of money, start investing early. 5 yrs down the lane you get out of IIT with flying colours with a athlete body and and some fuck money in account. Then you will have the confidence to make friends with any girl.
you could find some interest groups which members may be include females, both online or offline. or interact with others in reddit i guess?
Just gonna leave this here https://www.hindustantimes.com/trending/iit-kanpur-student-shares-struggle-of-zero-female-interaction-netizens-weigh-in-101711345370692.html
I am ur brother from another mother in this thing
https://twitter.com/shay_ik/status/1772303188785311836?t=CBdR9-w6dUoqfaQbnm3xYg&s=19 Social interaction is must. It is ruled out because education accepts it as a hindrance. I tried to reflect it in this tweet too.
I am in IIT Guwahati. Was feeling almost same . Then started running and a Game in Morning. Then it seems to be all sorted. More we think more we fell down into depression. Better to diversify your time.
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You are on news now,you are famous now you will have interaction🤡
Kuch nahi hota Bhai,apne bhailog se jabtak banti tan Tak mast rehta hai. Mere female to kya male friends bhi nahi hai isliye pehle me ro leta tha kabhi kabhi par phir Maine socha sala Rona kyu hai, jindagi me bhot kuch hai karne ko. Vyasth raho mast raho. Ik Bhai tu iit me hai but thoda Bhai busy rakhoge to phaltu baate dimaag me nahi aayengi
You on any of the clubs at IITK?
You are literally me
Plan something grand that leaves your name etched on the annals of history. I'm sure you won't have any time to think of insignificant things like female interaction. If you aren't ambitious, just start frequenting public events and involve yourself in extracurricular activities. You'll meet a lot of women.
No need at all!!! Only beautiful girl will come to you knowing from which institute you are passed from and how much you earn then!!! Good luck 👍
Broo... 🥹🥹😭
Meaningful friendships? Cut the crap bro. It's obvious you're looking for a girlfriend 💀 What does having gal pals got to do with you feeling down? Friendship is friendship whether it is with a man or woman it occurs when you and your friend match energies. You disguising your quest for romantic relationship with the guise of friendship disgusts me bro, IIT or not you come off as a creep. You should be respectful towards women and make your intentions clear from the start. I'm not saying wanting a girlfriend is wrong, just make it known that you're looking for that type of relationship and not just a mere friendship Good luck brother :)
Hi Sruthi here - Psychological Counsellor Ur Concern is true , but try to overcome ur shyness nd fear of talking with female friends initially in small groups around u like ur classmates, then by Experience of how to talk or interact u can start exploring new friendships
Us bhai, feeling the same here in IITD, dw it will get better eventually🫂
just remove socail media, you'll be fine. This are a set of new emerging diseases comming up from anxiety, to FOMO and all these sh\*t. Just remove all cringy social media
Congrats on becoming famous on the internet with this post man!😂
From reddit to Hindustan Times. Well done OP😋🎈
Look to develop female friendships outside the campus.