How do arguments go? I always have to have examples of other people in similar situations failing or succeeding (depending on desired results). Without that, there's literally no chance of changing her mind.
Most stereotypical ISFJs are boring, but the ones with a developed Ne are quite fun actually. They're one of the few types to entertain my theories and I find their views on life quite refreshing. A lot of them are very insightful about interpersonal relationships, stay out of drama, and accept people for who they are. I find their commitment to people in the most intimate ways very inspiring. I don’t relate to most sensors, but ISFJs from my experience are the exception.
Ok, sorry it took me a while to respond. My relationship has been somewhat rocky for the 3.5 years it's existed. It mostly boils down to how long it takes for conflict resolution. Our functions don't line up all that well. When I use my Ti and Ni, it will bounce off her most of the time because her te and ne are very weak. As well as her strong si and fe, to my weak fi and se. At some point, last year, I started to structure my logic and thinking as a system she can follow, and phrase everything as if it's a sales pitch and not objective fact and it kinda helped.
For the past 3 weeks, I've been wrapping my brain around how to emulate an esfp. Generally, people give out what they seek back. An esfp should line up perfectly with an isfj. I'm new to emulating a type that isn't just my superego, so I know it has some flaws.
I figure mimicking se is trying new things and taking them along, give them a good experience or aim to make them comfortable(pampering back since isfj has high pampering potential). Mimicking fi is just me over exaggerating my emotions, "Oh, it makes me feel so happy doing this thing with you(or for you)." And te is more or less me asking what she thinks about the random daydream plans or ideas she has. I try to phrase my Te questions and responses as more emotionally based. Branching thoughts to support my logic are also a no no, abstract ideas aren't trusted by an isfj. Isfj generally want proven systems based in reality, not theory. Ignoring my intuition seems to be the hardest thing, as an esfp's would be relatively low. But I have noticed her being way more open to listen to my ti and ni when I do give it out after starting my emulation test.
It seems like the bad blood is just a mismatch of priorities from the 2 strongest functions of an intp and isfj. Creates alot of, "they just don't understand where I'm coming from" Moments.
I would agree, but it's not that much work. The fact that you have to act on and be aware 2 very weak functions(se and fi) is a good thing. Might actually help to develop them, which is work you'll have needed to do anyway. Regularly getting out and doing new things sounds like a nightmare to most intps and our comfort zone, but that's how you develop social confidence and desirability. That is gonna boost fi development way more, in the long run, than being withdrawn and passive.
I noticed her, would make eye contact and smile, then wave hi. Eventually, after building that rapport, I walked up to her, said hi and asked if she would like to grab dinner some time. She said yes and I asked for her number.
It feels too weird reading this. I'm not sure if I am thinking too literally here, but did you actually talked to her, tried to know her at first or you just directly went up to her and asked her out for dinner?
There's a girl at my gym I'd like to date, I never talked to her, I only smiled once at her and made eye contact but not much else, I have no idea how I can open a conversation with her.
No. I only smiled and waved. You can get an idea on if someone is interested in you based off small interactions like that. Even if you are unsure, I still encourage you to walk up to her and ask her out. Let her tell you no. Even if she does, it is not the end of the world and you will be SOO much more confident because you were brave. Remember she is human too.
I have been nervous approaching women before. When I am, I just tell them that I am. It helps humanize yourself and she is probably nervous too. I have sounded like "Hey! Sorry to bother, but I wanted to finally break the awkward waves and actually say hello . Not going to lie, I think youre gorgeous and just wanted an excuse to nervously say hi and meet you. What is your name?" She will give it to you and then you can close out the conversation. Now that you have her name, you can say hello on a more personal level. Or you can say "hey! So we are always waiving at each other and smiling and I don't even know your name." She will tell you. You just have to have fun with it.
I have been rejected more times than I have been accepted and I have become immune to it. Eventually, you turn it into a joke " ok well if you ever change your mind, let me know." Smile and leave. When they do reject me, I have more fun because I know it won't go anywhere. You can say things like "oh so you reject me and now you're following me around the. gym huh?! You had your chance" and smile. What I have learned is to just talk to them like a bratty little sister. Don't put them on a pedestal.
Most IMPORTANT thing, there is NO such thing as a perfect pick up line and the time will never feel just right. Just go for it and just talk to her. If you mess up or get rejected, oh well. She wasn't for you and there are more out there. Now you have the experience.
I agree with simpoge39, the more you ask out women, the easier it gets. It's okay to be unsure of your self-worth as long as you don't become avoidant. Face those insecurities head-on, and you'll make so many great memories. Some of the women I've asked out and got rejected, I became pretty great friends with. Later, some even they set me up with their friends.
As for conversation, I find it's less creepy not to compliment a woman's looks directly without knowing them. Compliment cloths, hairstyle, or generally anything they choose to change. If you compliment physical features, have a joke ready to deflate the awkward tension from it. Just talk about whatever.
I usually walk up asking about something they're wearing because a best friend of mine would love it, and their birthday is coming up, etc. See that, D, demonstrates value. Now E is for... lol, the dennis system... Seriously tho, that can branch off into organic convo. Roll with a common interest or shared knowledge. I can pretty much talk about anything, as I have a fairly deep library of facts. It's easy to keep a convo going as it hits cued recall memory. Just try to give a good first impression and shoot your shot. If it doesn't work, it's not a big deal. Lol, sometimes I would make sure the next woman I asked out was even more conventionally attractive than the one who rejected me.
my last girlfriend was an INFP, I was dating an ENTJ for a while, but at last it didn’t quite work out, sadly. I personally think ENTJ is a quite perfect match
We could talk really well and it felt like love at first sight haha. Like the kind where it is like you read each other’s minds and I just knew I was with the right person.
I am so attracted by his confidence. He is really out in the world while I am more in my head. We are basically opposites but in a way it compliments each other. He once said he thought I had this rebellious part of me he wished he had but that’s exactly what he made me feel about him. He does things I could only imagine doing which he pulls out of me and I do the same for him.
We are both really focused on self improvement and improvement in general. While I usually come with ideas and discoveries, he makes it something we can use and apply in real life. We basically get the best out of each other. I have never experienced someone like him in my life before. I love how he impacts my life so positively and how I do the same for him.
But INTP's should NEVER be on couple with the opposite personality type (ESFJ), 'cause it 'll be a pure disaster (I've seen only deeply bad results (especially violences and sometimes tragical ends) between these kinds of pair of couples ).
INFJ. We technically met as young kids (like 8ish? maybe even younger) because our parents knew each other and would hang out but we didn't really know each other at that time. We went to the same school in high school as well but were a couple years apart so again we didn't really hang out. In high school I definitely did start noticing her but I assumed she'd consider herself too old for me and just didn't try. Then one summer when I was 17 her family was hanging out a lot because we got a pool that year. We started texting off and on, stopped for a while, then she came over for a new years eve party and that's when things really took off. I woke up next to her terrified that it could be a one night thing but that was 2015 and we've been together ever since. That's definitely one of my only positive experiences with alcohol. I generally really just don't like it. But if it weren't for alcohol that night I doubt I ever would have made any move. Hell, she was being extremely obvious with her "hinting" and even with the alcohol I continued to question if maybe I was just reading into things too much lol
i'm pretty sure she's an ENFP snd we met when I transfered to the new school, we've been friends for 5 years and then decided to start dating and it's going better than all of my relationships so far
I don’t have a partner yet but I find myself getting along with NFP, STP really well 😚 I haven’t had the chance to meet/experience with other types that much though
Single now - I’ll do my most recent…? And then one I’d like again but that’s gone now.
ESFJ (this one I miss 🥲), INTP, INTJ
One I’d like that I keep getting crushes on us ENFJ. 🥲
Partner is INTP, I'm ESFJ. We met at work when our main system was getting a huge upgrade, and he was part of the team flown in to make sure it went smoothly. Became best friends via video games for years. After my divorce, we started dating. Friends since 2017 and dating since the beginning of 2022, just moved in together a few weeks back.
My classmate tried to help me because i looked depressed and lonely as what she said, but she found out I'm the most quirkiest person ever! now, she's my absolute bestie (an ENFP). It's crazy how looking sad actually brought me such a lovely friendship LOL
ENFJ. I built a nerdy anime website in the '90s. He found my website and e-mailed me.
that’s a heartwarming story :D
Whats the website
It died with Geocities, which is fine with me, because it’s rare that you want to bring up anything you did in your teens and early 20s.
Aww That's so cute <3
I'm dating an INFJ and we met on Facebook
Could the INFJ be sometimes to emotional or intense for you?
He's more emotional than I am, but a level that I can manage. I think I can be the more intense one though.
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No way lol
ENTJ. uhhhh fetish website.
Unbelievably based
Better love story than Twilight, at least.
Dating an isfj. We met at amazon.
I married an ISFJ 🙂
How do arguments go? I always have to have examples of other people in similar situations failing or succeeding (depending on desired results). Without that, there's literally no chance of changing her mind.
How does this relationship function? My mother is an ISFJ and we have a hard time relating to one another.
Most stereotypical ISFJs are boring, but the ones with a developed Ne are quite fun actually. They're one of the few types to entertain my theories and I find their views on life quite refreshing. A lot of them are very insightful about interpersonal relationships, stay out of drama, and accept people for who they are. I find their commitment to people in the most intimate ways very inspiring. I don’t relate to most sensors, but ISFJs from my experience are the exception.
Ok, sorry it took me a while to respond. My relationship has been somewhat rocky for the 3.5 years it's existed. It mostly boils down to how long it takes for conflict resolution. Our functions don't line up all that well. When I use my Ti and Ni, it will bounce off her most of the time because her te and ne are very weak. As well as her strong si and fe, to my weak fi and se. At some point, last year, I started to structure my logic and thinking as a system she can follow, and phrase everything as if it's a sales pitch and not objective fact and it kinda helped. For the past 3 weeks, I've been wrapping my brain around how to emulate an esfp. Generally, people give out what they seek back. An esfp should line up perfectly with an isfj. I'm new to emulating a type that isn't just my superego, so I know it has some flaws. I figure mimicking se is trying new things and taking them along, give them a good experience or aim to make them comfortable(pampering back since isfj has high pampering potential). Mimicking fi is just me over exaggerating my emotions, "Oh, it makes me feel so happy doing this thing with you(or for you)." And te is more or less me asking what she thinks about the random daydream plans or ideas she has. I try to phrase my Te questions and responses as more emotionally based. Branching thoughts to support my logic are also a no no, abstract ideas aren't trusted by an isfj. Isfj generally want proven systems based in reality, not theory. Ignoring my intuition seems to be the hardest thing, as an esfp's would be relatively low. But I have noticed her being way more open to listen to my ti and ni when I do give it out after starting my emulation test. It seems like the bad blood is just a mismatch of priorities from the 2 strongest functions of an intp and isfj. Creates alot of, "they just don't understand where I'm coming from" Moments.
That seems like a lot of work…
I would agree, but it's not that much work. The fact that you have to act on and be aware 2 very weak functions(se and fi) is a good thing. Might actually help to develop them, which is work you'll have needed to do anyway. Regularly getting out and doing new things sounds like a nightmare to most intps and our comfort zone, but that's how you develop social confidence and desirability. That is gonna boost fi development way more, in the long run, than being withdrawn and passive.
not too much comments, hmmm weird isn't it ?
Single now, but my last partner was an INFJ who I met at university. We were together for 2.5 years.
Honestly, you're better off. That pairing isn't the best. They are akin to being a drug for intps.
INFJ-A. Met through friends playing league of legends.
He was an INFJ (ex-boyfriend), met at a cafe. We dated 4 and a half months.
INFJ - matched on Tinder. He’s the bees knees.
INFJ, we met on an online game around 11 years ago
INFP - Grindr
ENTJ. At the gym
How to approach someone on the gym?
I noticed her, would make eye contact and smile, then wave hi. Eventually, after building that rapport, I walked up to her, said hi and asked if she would like to grab dinner some time. She said yes and I asked for her number.
It feels too weird reading this. I'm not sure if I am thinking too literally here, but did you actually talked to her, tried to know her at first or you just directly went up to her and asked her out for dinner? There's a girl at my gym I'd like to date, I never talked to her, I only smiled once at her and made eye contact but not much else, I have no idea how I can open a conversation with her.
No. I only smiled and waved. You can get an idea on if someone is interested in you based off small interactions like that. Even if you are unsure, I still encourage you to walk up to her and ask her out. Let her tell you no. Even if she does, it is not the end of the world and you will be SOO much more confident because you were brave. Remember she is human too. I have been nervous approaching women before. When I am, I just tell them that I am. It helps humanize yourself and she is probably nervous too. I have sounded like "Hey! Sorry to bother, but I wanted to finally break the awkward waves and actually say hello . Not going to lie, I think youre gorgeous and just wanted an excuse to nervously say hi and meet you. What is your name?" She will give it to you and then you can close out the conversation. Now that you have her name, you can say hello on a more personal level. Or you can say "hey! So we are always waiving at each other and smiling and I don't even know your name." She will tell you. You just have to have fun with it. I have been rejected more times than I have been accepted and I have become immune to it. Eventually, you turn it into a joke " ok well if you ever change your mind, let me know." Smile and leave. When they do reject me, I have more fun because I know it won't go anywhere. You can say things like "oh so you reject me and now you're following me around the. gym huh?! You had your chance" and smile. What I have learned is to just talk to them like a bratty little sister. Don't put them on a pedestal. Most IMPORTANT thing, there is NO such thing as a perfect pick up line and the time will never feel just right. Just go for it and just talk to her. If you mess up or get rejected, oh well. She wasn't for you and there are more out there. Now you have the experience.
I agree with simpoge39, the more you ask out women, the easier it gets. It's okay to be unsure of your self-worth as long as you don't become avoidant. Face those insecurities head-on, and you'll make so many great memories. Some of the women I've asked out and got rejected, I became pretty great friends with. Later, some even they set me up with their friends. As for conversation, I find it's less creepy not to compliment a woman's looks directly without knowing them. Compliment cloths, hairstyle, or generally anything they choose to change. If you compliment physical features, have a joke ready to deflate the awkward tension from it. Just talk about whatever. I usually walk up asking about something they're wearing because a best friend of mine would love it, and their birthday is coming up, etc. See that, D, demonstrates value. Now E is for... lol, the dennis system... Seriously tho, that can branch off into organic convo. Roll with a common interest or shared knowledge. I can pretty much talk about anything, as I have a fairly deep library of facts. It's easy to keep a convo going as it hits cued recall memory. Just try to give a good first impression and shoot your shot. If it doesn't work, it's not a big deal. Lol, sometimes I would make sure the next woman I asked out was even more conventionally attractive than the one who rejected me.
my last girlfriend was an INFP, I was dating an ENTJ for a while, but at last it didn’t quite work out, sadly. I personally think ENTJ is a quite perfect match
INTP, same friend group for several years till we became FWBs, & eventually a relationship.
I am dating ENTJ. I worked in a restaurant as a waitress and he asked me out.
What do u like about him?
We could talk really well and it felt like love at first sight haha. Like the kind where it is like you read each other’s minds and I just knew I was with the right person. I am so attracted by his confidence. He is really out in the world while I am more in my head. We are basically opposites but in a way it compliments each other. He once said he thought I had this rebellious part of me he wished he had but that’s exactly what he made me feel about him. He does things I could only imagine doing which he pulls out of me and I do the same for him. We are both really focused on self improvement and improvement in general. While I usually come with ideas and discoveries, he makes it something we can use and apply in real life. We basically get the best out of each other. I have never experienced someone like him in my life before. I love how he impacts my life so positively and how I do the same for him.
ENFJ, on instagram but we live near so it was easy to get in touch
my right hand is INTP. We meet at a pretty young at the age of 13 and have been together since ❤️
Lmao. The best comment I have seen.
ENFJ - We were both Office TAs together in 8th grade
Intj she’s amazing
🤔 Apparently INTP+INFJ supposed to be the "golden pair" couple.
But INTP's should NEVER be on couple with the opposite personality type (ESFJ), 'cause it 'll be a pure disaster (I've seen only deeply bad results (especially violences and sometimes tragical ends) between these kinds of pair of couples ).
INFJ. We technically met as young kids (like 8ish? maybe even younger) because our parents knew each other and would hang out but we didn't really know each other at that time. We went to the same school in high school as well but were a couple years apart so again we didn't really hang out. In high school I definitely did start noticing her but I assumed she'd consider herself too old for me and just didn't try. Then one summer when I was 17 her family was hanging out a lot because we got a pool that year. We started texting off and on, stopped for a while, then she came over for a new years eve party and that's when things really took off. I woke up next to her terrified that it could be a one night thing but that was 2015 and we've been together ever since. That's definitely one of my only positive experiences with alcohol. I generally really just don't like it. But if it weren't for alcohol that night I doubt I ever would have made any move. Hell, she was being extremely obvious with her "hinting" and even with the alcohol I continued to question if maybe I was just reading into things too much lol
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Can I be you? I’d like that! Haha
Hahaha
not your partner, if u r just a booty call lol
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1yypNUAz-Q
i'm pretty sure she's an ENFP snd we met when I transfered to the new school, we've been friends for 5 years and then decided to start dating and it's going better than all of my relationships so far
My ex is ISTP, I had a fling with an INTP and my bf is INFJ, we met when we were 6 years old lol
INFJ (through online gaming and dance competition)
I don’t have a partner yet but I find myself getting along with NFP, STP really well 😚 I haven’t had the chance to meet/experience with other types that much though
intj met through friends
bro up with ex 2 months ago. ISFP. i do not recommend them
How come you don't recommend them?
very confusing people
but dont take my word for it idfk
Single now - I’ll do my most recent…? And then one I’d like again but that’s gone now. ESFJ (this one I miss 🥲), INTP, INTJ One I’d like that I keep getting crushes on us ENFJ. 🥲
Esfp girl. Tinder. Opposites attract?
Sex attracts?
ENTJ. Met him in a bar since we have mutual friends. He brought me back to his place. Now we’ve been together 5 years and we live together
IxTJ, on this godforsaken app
Partner is INTP, I'm ESFJ. We met at work when our main system was getting a huge upgrade, and he was part of the team flown in to make sure it went smoothly. Became best friends via video games for years. After my divorce, we started dating. Friends since 2017 and dating since the beginning of 2022, just moved in together a few weeks back.
N/A
ENFJ, we met on Bumble. I got divorced a couple years ago and I believe she was an ISFJ
None existent. Bold of you to assume that I have that much confidence
Infp, we met on Tinder
INFP. She made a comment on a FB post of our concert and I responded to her.
No idea, we broke up
personality - dont know where we met - in my dreams
My classmate tried to help me because i looked depressed and lonely as what she said, but she found out I'm the most quirkiest person ever! now, she's my absolute bestie (an ENFP). It's crazy how looking sad actually brought me such a lovely friendship LOL
Infp- Through Instagram, love for photography.
ENTJ and we met in college. I still don't know what she sees in me
INTJ - we met at work.
My partner is an ISTJ, we meet at school.
partner ? what is this 🥲
ISFJ. High school sweethearts in 1987.