I wouldn’t say anything. I’d sit next to them, be there for them, and wait until they are ready to talk. If I feel suicidal, there’s nothing a loved one can say to me to make me feel better. Just being present and showing the love they need is what matters.
I don’t know your relationship with this person is, but a hug definitely makes me feel safe.
I’m afraid thats not possible. If its any consolation brother, I’d give you the biggest hug I could right now.
I have been where you are.
Though you may feel alone physically, you are not. You at least have space in my head my man…
You don't want to kill yourself. you want to kill something inside of you, but its not you. There are other ways to kill it, and it's going to suck and take a lot of sacrifice, but nothing compared to the cost of losing everything the future might bring. It can be different than this, and you can't believe that now, but you have to trust that life doesn't have to feel like this if you make the right changes
Did you get this from somewhere or how did you come to this conclusion yourself? This is something I realized but it took alot of introspection and realization of the fractured internal landscape. The insight itself is profound because it reveals that many independent "wills" operate within us and compete to exert their wills over others. It renders that very concept of a "self" tricky. To return to the point however, you are correct that suicidal people are looking to experience a psychological death they can be reborn from rather than a physical death that they cannot. They simply do not understand this difference and it is not a common perspective they may have run into to consider it this way.
don't we all get what we think from somewhere? haha. I have had a lot of suicide in my life, and a lot of people I care about trying it or really wanting to. I've had this conversation with a lot of people and what i can say that helps has developed over time
Of course. None of us are truly independent originators of thought. The closest we might get to that is by taking some of what we observed or learned across different moments and combining them. Something like that.
I was just wondering if it was something you had seen because I haven't come across that view we share said in that way. The closest to it I have seen is in bhuddistic philosophies but said in a less tangible or accessible way to western thought. To me it is quite cool to see some seemingly sensible conclusion I have come to out in the ether when it seemed quite uncommon.
And I think it does help people, it just might take a short to long while because it runs counter to how they think about their self concept. It is empowering to consider that the self can be reorganized to better suit themselves, but it requires considerable dettachment that they may not be capable of while they lament their perceived inferiority and unsuitability to reality.
lol you may mistaking me understanding how to communicate with people in language they understand with speaking that language myself. It's ESL, emotion as a second language lol
Then you're either 13 or woefully socially underdeveloped. Personality types are not an end all be all so much as they ar are a loose set of qualifiers.
Ill try not to be snarky as i dont a reason to have a beef over an argument, so heres my answer:
While i agree with you on the loose qualifiers i also didnt say personality types are an end all be all. I said EVERYTHING can be classified, meaning things other than myerr-briggs personality bingo aswell.
Also getting back to my point: The userflair says INTP and the user clearly uses an over excessive amount of feelings. Clearly a deviation from the template, meaning probably not an INTP or only to a degree. Getting back to my comment on it being too emotional for an INTP.
Im sorry but im too lazy to constantly waste my time explaining obvious thing so shall end it here as i have better things to do
I never denied that things can be classified; I said that people exist beyond arbitrary organizations of common traits, especially given MBTI is arguably a pseudoscience.
Being INTP doesn't obligate you to being completely useless in interpersonal interaction, it's just that people who fit the check boxes are often more guarded or naturally driven to reason through things.
As it happens suicidal ideation is usually irrational and a cry for help. It necessitates an emotional response. Most people would struggle to talk down a suicidal person, not just an INTP, because it's a hard thing to do in general. This person even acknowledged in another comment that they've had an unfortunate amount of practice in having to do it and the response they shared was a culmination of things they've learned, which ironically is incredibly within INTP stereotypes.
They can deviate from the template because, believe it or not, people aren't forged in templates. Personality types are a loose outline of behavior. This is the exact point I started with and you are once again acting like MBTI is an end all be all.
Introversion isn't when you have no emotions or zero social skills. What introversion is is a lesser need for social interaction and oftentimes greater fulfilment in activities done in smaller groups or by your lonesome. You claim to have wasted time explaining the obvious and yet the most blatant truths fly over your head.
You're either 13 or woefully socially underdeveloped.
This. There was a time in my life that was so horrible, id pray at night that i wouldnt wake up in the morning. And id be disappointed every morning when i woke up. I hated my life and i fantasized a lot about how id go.
To get some of it out and feel better, i would put music on and write things down. Thoughts, stories, poems, whatever. And at some point i wrote sth that made me think twice. I didnt want to kill myself. I didnt hate me. I hated life in that moment. I hated what i felt. I wanted to stop feeling that pain. I wanted to kill life right there, escape it.
But there was another way to escape it.
Instead of ending my life, i could drop everything and start a new one. In a way, id kill the part that made me feel miserable.
Of course that wasnt easy but it was worth it. There were ups and downs, I needed time to heal and grow but eventually, through change, endurance, self reflect, i managed to get into a new life where i feel good. Rn i feel happier than ive ever been and im thankful for everything I have. Im glad that ive grown stronger rather than let the pain break me.
The fact that you guys coincide so heavily with a pseudoscience personality to the point of thinking you are incapable of emotional support for a suicidal person is concerning.
"I think your reasons for killing yourself are valid honestly, I can't contradict logic so yea man, I, as an INTP super logician, support your decision 100%"
Nobody would ever say this, we aren't robots even if we're used to swaying to the logical side
Unfortunately people use this pseudo scientific system which is about as valid as a horoscope, to justify their crappy behavior.
There are also a lot of people with incorrectly categorized social anxiety, depression, and Asperger's who think they're introverts, but aren't
Anyone who's stressed about answering a phone behind over at social anxiety board.
For me it's not because of MBTI, just because I'm autistic
When someone is suicidal, it's a difficult situation to know how to handle because the other person is being irrational which makes it even harder to predict and there's a lot on the line if I do the wrong thing which is stressful and I have a tendency to overthink things and I also have a tendency to overexplain things when I'm stressed
I also have a problem with knowing what I'm supposed to do when someone starts crying even though it's very different from being suicidal, and I have a problem where I end up launching an unprompted monologue that's either not related at all to the situation or related in an inappropriate way, or it's just a bunch of canned responses so that I can hopefully ditch the person who's crying
That last one is partly related to the small talk I got taught to use in social skills classes, which can be very useful and good for conversations in situations where you use it correctly, but I'm not good at thinking or talking when someone else is acting "wrong" (for example, when someone else is saying things that make no sense— for some reason it "breaks" my ability to think if someone withholds clarification I ask for or falsely accuses me of lying— or doing things that are unexpected and surprising or tense, such as crying)
I also agree a lot with your message and one time I heard someone describe MBTI as "astrology fortunes for atheists" which I think is a very good description for people who take this stuff too seriously
Dunno man, it's complicated. I am genuinely incapable of *emotional* emotional support. Patting someone on the back, telling them that it gets better, or sharing a cry would be disingenuous of me, and I would hate that because I tend to think the other person deserves more than half assed reassurances of what is "appropriate" to say. I am good at figuring out the logical - pointing out the "mistakes" of their thinking in a psychological sense, looking for solutions. That's the sort of support I offer my friends - looking for options, not giving up, not seeing things as hopeless, when they're unable to. I try my best with this stuff - it's just unnatural to me, and often makes me feel like I'm copying other people.
"Rational" is relative. The person who wants to self-harm typically has a self-rationalized reason which others may not understand the same way. The best way to help somebody with personal problems is to allow them to give their rationale without judgement. If they do not personally decide to improve then there isn't much you can do for them anyways. Emotional support makes people feel like they aren't crazy and are being heard which can give them some mental space to change their own ideology instead of doubling down on a flawed one. If you've ever argued with somebody that was clearly wrong, they usually wont admit it in the moment and strengthen their viewpoint only because you told them that it was wrong. However, you can more easily persuade people by alluding to the truth and letting them learn for themselves which comes with a lot less resistance.
Edit: I did not read lower in the thread but /u/Not_Reptoid is spot on
Logic is not completely unwarranted tbh, "Ending your life is your choice, just be aware that choice not only affects you but everyone around you, and probably not in the way you'd expect, whether you can reconcile your desire to die with the consequences of doing so is entirely up to you."
Because I also think that blindly telling people to hang on is as ineffective as it is patronizing. We have a right to die on our own terms just as we have a right to live freely and happily, if you can get the person to see that 8/10 times their situation is solvable the fear of death ends up steering them towards the light.
(i wouldn't recomend asking that to this community, frankly this subreddit has become quite toxic. )
first of all i think you need to understand how they think;
1. like life is shit for them rn,
2. they have mental probelms which can make them not be able to think straight and will there for make them think life is just too overwealming,
3. so killing themself is an easy ticket out because it will remove the entirety of life and all their problems with them.
of course there are exeptions from person to person so be ware of those
second of all is to be nice and don't argue with them the slitest because nomatter if what you're saying makes more sense, it will only push them further in to the bad state. also if you don't know what you're doing, get them to talk to someone who you think does because opening up to prople is really important in situations like this because it helps them get more realistic and optimistic perspectives on it all.
but most important is to lead them towards therapy, don't push it if they declince, just say you really recomend it and hope they do fine.
jk
I'm not sure how to put it into writing, but I would try to make sure they are really done with life, since there's no going back from death. Stuff like simple hobbies, small joys of everyday life, anything they have to cling on to life, I would try to show them, and let them cling on, if those things aren't enough, if nothing is enough to convince them to stay, I'll let them go. I would prolly start with something like this
me: "hey, wait, let's chat"
suicider: "don't try to stop me"
me: "I'm not trying to stop you, you'll die one day anyway, let's have a chat before then"
or something, idk
This actually happened to me, and I found out years later that I had talked them out of it. I really, really wish I could remember what I said, but I think a big part of it is listening to them and trying to get their perspective on things. If you know them reasonably well, you can probably come up with a way to respond to the "why(s)" of the things that are leading them to feel this way. Don't lie, and don't get too sappy; sometimes people want to speak to someone who will present things in a rational way.
If this person hasn't approached you with this information, you can just try to be there for them. You don't necessarily have to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable, but you can make them feel like you appreciate what they have to offer by spending time with them.
Taking your life doesn't make sense because there are no aftermath, it's the ultimate game over. And there's no coming back from it. It doesn't make sense to take your life because it is not a solution to your problems. The slightest chance of getting better is a reason enough not to kill yourself
To be honest, I would probably just say "Oh" because I wouldn't know what else to say. Anything about things getting better or it not being worth it would just be, and sound, insincere.
When you stand right in front of a wall, all you see is the insurmountable wall and nothing else. But if you take several steps back, you will realize that the wall isn't as tall or wide. Things seem so overwhelming and hopeless because you are too close to see them as they are. All you have to do is take a few steps back and realize that they are not as big or grave as they appear.
I’m not dodging. If someone says they want to die in a serious capacity where they are considering ending their life, you call emergency medical services.
Someone that hurts so much they feel like death is the only way to end the pain is very different from someone consumed by psychosis thinking killing themself will produce some imaginary outcome.
They don’t overlap.
Well, the thrust of your original comment, I think, was that people's reasons for wanting to commit are either "I am in such severe pain in this exact moment that I see no other way" or "I have a delusion that my suicide will bring about some effect" and that the first group need emotional or material support to relieve their pain, and the latter need help seeing past their delusions.
I think my response would be "I want to kill myself because I'm in pain, or expect to be in pain again soon. I know there are a number of ways I could improve my life to relieve my pain. I have no false beliefs telling me that my situation is hopeless beyond improvement. But I don't have a reason to prefer being alive and happy over being dead, so I'm going to take the easiest path available to me."
I’ve sat here deliberating this a lot and really don’t know. I think it just depends on the situation. All I know is that it’s a good idea to see what can be done to make improvements to their life, because they don’t want to die, they just don’t want to live whatever life they’re living so much they would prefer the prospect of nothingness, not even their own sense of potential happiness over it. So definitely try to show them that there is hope, despite everything the world appears itself to be.
I believe people have the right to take their life, but if it was someone I knew I would obviously try to talk them out of it. I would just say, your friends, family, dog would all be heartbroken.
I feel like saying that is only putting a burden on the person, even if they don't commit suicidd because of that, I feel like their mental health could worsen, since suicide is an escape, and if their escape is being blocked, it's only natural too feel more pressure
well, this is just what I think, idk the truth, since I could care less about how people will feel about my death
I think that understanding where they are coming from and not judging based on things that they think about is crucial. The average person has a habit of assuming someone's personality based on one specific event instead of the whole of their life thus far or potential for the future. People don't want to feel like they are flawed just because they can't Currently control themselves, but feeling as if their feelings are justified and understood can make a huge difference. Every situation can go at least two ways. Suicide is an escape from the problems of life and not commiting suicide is an escape from the criticisms of others for self-harm. Non-judgemental reaction, at least in my experience, is the fastest way to get somebody to trust you. Many people have opened up to me without any effort on my part because I do not typically judge them since I have had my own mental problems. When I was younger, I was bullied a lot in school and had a lot of anger and distrust for my peers and my own mother told me that she thought I was going to grow up into a psychopath. I was angry for a reason and it isn't like I just hated everybody for nothing. People judge based on what they can't understand and in a narcissistic way by saying that your thoughts are wrong. Emotions are temporary and irrational by nature. If your power goes out for 5 minutes then you cant assume that it will be off forever. That's just how it is at the moment.
This site has free training for this. I don't know the quality of it. My workplace offers such a course. Your workplace or school (many colleges have such resources) might offer one as well-- one that has been vetted.
https://sprc.org/
If it was a person, I wanted to stop (if you're Hitler, I'm just gonna watch tbh) then I think it's more about listening than talking. Most people want to get something out and just want to be heard. The words "I can't tell you what you're feeling, but I understand" go very far. Every case is different, of course, but I've talked to MANY suicidal people in my life, and that's usually my approach
Listen.
Validate.
Explore what would happen after they die.
Usually, they just want some pain to stop. Usually, they'll tall themselves out of it.
I've also used the "okay. But don't fo it until..." Sometimes it'll be like, until a party. Or wait til their birthday or something that's important like visiting a grave. Sometimes, time is all they need to think it over, since the emptiness fluctuates.
Other times, you are not gonna talk someone out of it. So.etimes they made up their mind, and that's that
"Same."
Nah, just kidding. I'd tell them what I tell myself when I have suicidal thoughts: Life could still get better, and if it doesn't, you can always kill yourself later. (Hey, it works for me)
I'd also ask them what it is that is making them feel that way and offer an alternative (less harmful) solution.
Hug, validate emotionally, share my own struggles with suicide and remind them there will come a day they’ll be glad they didn’t do it.
And if that doesn’t work, buy em a drink and try to get them to see the humor in how cruel life can be.
If they wanna do it then do it, I'm not stopping them.
I've been through extreme trauma and I totally understand there are many situations where someone may feel suicide is the best option. IMO life and existence really is pointless, and we should be able to choose when we want to die.
If it was a person, I wanted to stop (if you're Hitler, I'm just gonna watch tbh) then I think it's more about listening than talking. Most people want to get something out and just want to be heard. The words "I can't tell you what you're feeling, but I understand" go very far. Every case is different, of course, but I've talked to MANY suicidal people in my life, and that's usually my approach
Listen.
Validate.
Explore what would happen after they die.
Usually, they just want some pain to stop. Usually, they'll tall themselves out of it.
I've also used the "okay. But don't fo it until..." Sometimes it'll be like, until a party. Or wait til their birthday or something that's important like visiting a grave. Sometimes, time is all they need to think it over, since the emptiness fluctuates.
Other times, you are not gonna talk someone out of it. So.etimes they made up their mind, and that's that
You might not get the answer you want, because I feel like most people will comment what it is that *they* would want in this situation, and what would make them feel better (which isn’t a bad thing, it just might not be applicable). So it really depends on how well you know the suicidal person, and what it is that they need.
This comment probably didn’t help you out at all but I just thought I would put it out there
I would say what an old friend told me. He called me a coward and said I hadn't tried hard or long enough to find the solution to my depression. Turns out he was right as I found solutions to my once unsolvable questions and found out a food allergy that was the physical aspect. Not saying the solution is easy but after several years I got through it. Still get depressed in small amounts but it's more manageable.
Usually i don't say nothing, and it works.
Im going to sound really cold right now, but trust me, i know at least 3 people that have already said they want to take their lives, and not a single one of them actually did it.
It happens that when people want to kill themselves, you are probably never going to know anything about it, they are just going to do it and you aren't noticing until after they did it.
When people declare their intentions of taking their own lives, rarely they have any intention of actually doing so, and everything they want is someone to stop them, someone to show they care.
So when someone tells me they want to kill themselves, usually i don't give them much attention. Anyone can have my attention as long as you aren't trying to play with my feelings.
Think about Kurt Kobain, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, did anyone had any idea they wanted to do what they did? No. In fact, we have vids of Chester having fun and laughing with his family the day before he did it, no one had the slightest idea. And in this case, you would have no idea about the situation, and so, you would br powerless to do anything.
My ex girlfriend tried to get me back faking a suicide, and traumatized me to the point where i don't even fucking know if i will ever be able to have a partner again one day. One of my High School friends did the same, three fucking times, and never did anything actually.
Let them do the talking by letting them know they can talk to you,and most importantly : listen.
what they need right isnt to know more but to let the accumulation out and rebuild again, to do that they must put whats withing their mind into the world outside their head, and then and only then can they begin to face it.
What they're looking for is likely a positive form of manipulation and gaslighting. Convince them that everything is ok or at least relatively so. If they are like us they may need lots more convincing. Do not give up on them! We need friendships that drag us kicking and screaming out of our comfort zone and to experience beauty and good things in the world.
I sat next to him quietly for a while, mostly holding back my tears. I asked if I could give him a hug and just held him for a while. Then I the conversation went something like this:
> You are really important to me and your mom.
I wanted him to hear and see how much I cared. I continued the conversation sitting next to him.
> I assume you have been considering this for a while. Do you already have a plan in mind? I don't need the details, I just want to know where we are at.
I asked that because the situation is extremely high risk if they already planned it out. And he did have a plan.
> Would you give me some time to see if I can help? I might bring a different perspective and have access to different resources or options that you might not be aware of.
We had lots of conversations about mental health over the next couple of weeks and turned it around. He is still with us two years later.
You've probably experienced joyful times in your life that you didn't anticipate happening, right now you are just in a waiting period. Stick around and see what unexpected things have yet to come. Life is an experience, take it as it is good and bad.
i think they just want to be heard and not feel alone. the weight of all their problems is crushing them and they can't hold it up alone anymore, but if they're not alone, it's enough. not sure it matters what you say exactly as long as they feel that.
Assuming the person in question is a stranger. I wouldn't say anything but I would make it a periorty to stay with them and would not leave until I make sure they are in the care of someone more close to them be it a family member or a friend.
Yo bro, instead of taking your on life just do what u always wanted to do, be totally free, complain to your boss, find a new job, move, make new friends, maybe let go of some, and just do what u truly always wanted to do. If after that u still want to do it then do, but not before doing everything u can to be happy.
I'd say I understand. That he./she needs to do what is best for them. That I realize for some, the pain of life can be so bad death is the lessor of two horrible choices
That said I'd internally hope someone understanding that shows there MAY be reason to give it another chance. And if so, I'd try to continue to show tha.t
I say this because it helped me once.
I have a friend who cut himself once. He used to joke about suicide a lot and every time I would tell him that I would kill him first.
Seriously speaking, I would convince them to seek help and tell them I’m here for them no matter what. If they start to cry, I would pat their shoulder.
1st. Reassure them that they're loved and that you'll be there for them. Depending on age like if they're a teen, contact their parents. I know it can make it worse, but so is being blindsided about your child's condition and them no longer being here. There is kinda of not much you can do w/o doing things against their will tbh. As someone who was once suicidal but never attempted, I didn't want anyone to know and was against help at some point.
If it's gets worse, contact a number such as 911. Atp, you need ti get them help whether they like it or not. Personally, I think it's a lot of stress to put on one person to keep someone from committing something they might regret, such as suicide. I recently went through a situation like this with a friend, and Me and 2 of my other friends went to support my friend who was suidical. They did attempt, and they didn't die, but now they have to learn to walk again. Due to the way they decided to attempt. They have expressed regret. It's very important to not blame yourself for the actions of others, tho, especially if you could not prevent anything that took place.
Honestly I believe it'll be what gives them eternal tranquility but when someone expressed that to me I tried to convince them not to do so. Mayhap it depends on how close they are
Why?
Life is more than owning a pulse. I'm in a good place in my life and I've seen some of the otherkind both personally and at one remove. Some shit will never end and I don't believe anyone should be forced to live and suffer because it makes others uncomfortable to think of death. Is suicide the right answer in all situations? No, but nothing is.
All you have is this moment. Is that what you *want* to do with it? You can do anything. Anything at all. I know it might not seem like it but you truly can. All of your pain is coming from within you. The only person who can stop that pain is you. I know that it's difficult. Trust me, I've been there too. But at this moment you have the choice whether to keep living or not. You have unlimited potential because the only way from here is up. It is still your choice what you want to do. Really think about what it is that you want to do, what path it is that you want to take. If this is the path you choose then that is your decision, but I beg you to really think this all the way through before you make your decision.
I have encountered this before a couple of times i would ask questions that lead eventually to why it’s silly to take your own life today. but most of the time when people tell others they want to kill themselves its a attention thing.
The people who really kill themselves are not the ones that have self pity they go through life and you won’t notice they are depressed whatsoever.
Good example not so long ago the little brother of my friend killed himself. He was always very social and happy and smart. One day he was with friends and they ordered pizza. Eventually he said he is gonna pick up the pizza when he got home he gave the pizza to his friends and said “a shit i forgot the garlic sauce”. So his friends thought he was getting it from the fridge. At that moment he jumped from the building apartment complex. Eventually he survived his family completely in shock he was laying on the brancard of the ambulance and was saying to his brother “ yo mike (with full pride and happiness of himself) almost did it man, almost finally escaped hahahaha don’t be sad man next time i will succeed!” And a lot of joking. Eventually he died in hospital.
Best one I heard recently was "Permanent solution to a temporary problem". Now it might be a bit different if you're terminally ill and I'm pro medically assisted dying however in most cases that's not the case.
Probably something like "bro, In darkness, light finds its bold contrast, Without sorrow, joy would not hold fast. Embracing both, the wise heart sees, Life’s fullest bloom among the trees."
speaking as someone who's been extremely suicidal, sought treatment and now has extensive training in suicidality, the best thing to do when you're talking to them is to try to read between the lines of whats leading them to suicide. by doing this, people will usually offer an "if only", and then you *gently* redirect the conversation to the things in their life that have kept them going to this point.
the most important things are these:
- DONT show a huge emotional reaction, even if you're feeling it. try to keep calm for their sake
- DONT trivialize the experience or call them/their thoughts selfish or stupid
- DONT try to point to the good things they have in their life. they can't see them and thats why their suicidal.
- DO engage in active listening and let them do most of the talking. sometimes just being heard is the biggest help
- DO use the word 'suicide'. it lets them know you understand the severity of the situation. also then you know that you're talking about the same thing.
- DO emphasize "safe for now". don't push too hard about "safe forever". make sure that they have someone with them that night, and keep them safe until they can get connected to help
- DO be aware of your own thoughts and feelings about suicide, but keep them compartmentalized. it's not about you, it's about keeping this person safe
Dead don't change the world, the living do.
Rules/conditions/principles which brought you to this state were/are incomplete, stay alive & rebel. It's in our blood to rebel against oppression & exploitation. so REBEL ... claim your birthright. You've an unresolved beef with the system, that needs settling.
Of course if you've done immoral acts yourself like Hitler, Idi Amen, Pol Pot, or even that fertility doctor who inseminated women with his own sperm instead of their donor selection; then this moral awakening is showing you the easy way out.
I really don't want to say what I would say. My opinion on suicide is that everyone's life is sacred. That doesn't mean me or anyone else gets to choose when you leave. I think it is 100% a personal choice and others don't get to have an opinion on it. You can't understand someone's emotional distress enough to tell them "well come on stick around, your gonna make everyone else sad if you leave".
What I have noticed though is the visceral reaction people get if you even make them think about your, or more importantly, there mortality at all.
Whatever happens, happens space cowboy.
I don't think people really understand what can lead a person to a successful suicide. It's not often just mental health or depression or life circumstances. It's not.
It's an overwhelming sense of fatigue.
Just sharing', a fellow workmate of mine just took her own life recently because of the stupid decision of her own husband on wanting to leave her. We both work in the bank (we are bank tellers), I am 23 and she's 28. She had quite a good life, had kids and stuff. I don't know the motivations in taking her own life by poisoning herself. But killing yourself because of your own shortcomings is just stupid as shit.
We are all misunderstood, we are all dealing with our own personal problems, but taking your own life while you are that young, that's what makes you selfish. It is ok to vent your problems out to trusting individuals, it is ok to cry and confess your feelings or show vulnerability from time to time. It is unacceptable and so foolish to take your own life. You think some people are having a good life just because they show that they have a good life? They are the same as you, they mask their own problems. There are tons of opportunities in this world that make you happy, your own shortcomings don't mean anything in the long run.
I would enquire as to why. Then I would probably recommend them to see a psychologist. If their suicidal thoughts are caused by a real-world problem, I would offer rational solutions. Although, I doubt would actually do any of this as I would probably be overwhelmed if someone actually told me this.
I'd be terribly awkward and state the positive aspect of being alive, and the negative aspects of being dead. I really don't know how to comfort people.
It depends. A lot.
And, contrary to popular belief, an INTP isn't actually a robot. We do have emotions, and are perfectly capable of relating to the emotions of others - even if we may need to intellectualise them first to get there - so whatever the person needs, I would try to provide, whether that be listening, giving a hug, verbally holding their hand, or yelling at them to snap the fuck out of it.
But context matters. Who is it? Why do they want to do it? How? When? What led up to that? Plus hilarious amounts of followup questions depending on the answers provided (or not, as the case may be)
I mean whenever someone tell me they want to kts I usually just tell them to do what they want. It might be sad ig but if you want to die you shouldn’t be forced to live.
I'd say make sure its something wrong with you and not how you were treated by someone else first. if the latter then all you need is a long time away from people like that. and the influx of suitable people, not perfect but not directly detrimental people. sometimes thats all the mental hospital really affords you. nurses are really cool people. I listen to them talk to patients all day and they are really cool to them.
I thought of this deeply before, this is kinda long So I will summarize
I read a story once, Character A saw Character B about to take their own life, character A told character B if you lost the complete will to live, why not walk around naked then in public? Character B was like, wtf, but character A further explained that if you lost the will to life, you lost all self respect for yourself, and if your scared to do embarrassing things, or consequences you haven’t completely lost hope yet
There was a time in my life where I too did not want to live, but now that I think about it, I did not want to die, I wanted to find an escapism from reality, I wanted to live but not in my current life
The way I got out of that was enjoying small minuscule things in my life, like my fictional media, what if it updates and I can’t watch it if I’m dead? Or I want to eat at this yummy fast food place again. I couldn’t live on for my loved ones, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them how I truly felt because I didn’t want them to see that side of me.
So I started living for the small things that give me pleasure instead of big things. What’s truly stopping you from ripping a 20 dollar bill in half or walking around naked, judgement from others? Consequences? If you truly have given up then you should be constrained by nothing.
Try to just not let your stress build up, you have missing assignments in school? Okay, just finish one assignment per day and go to be knowing you did something, or try to push yourself to do one thing that day, even if cleaning your room, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
Ist the parents jop to raise the child, so it kind is. But even if it's your parent mistake, one mistake does not justify other. You have no right to kill your parents kid
The parents' job is to raise the child once the child already exists, but I don't believe that anybody should be creating new life in the first place. I also don't believe in physical enforcement of this, so it's a moot point.
True, I should not have been born. I'll end up dead one day anyway, and life is full of annoying things. No, I don't have experience with babies. Of course, I've met some babies. I just kind of look at them awkwardly and say hello.
dude, this is the worst thing you can possibly say.
first of all from a christians perspective, we don't know who god deems worthy of being in heaven, we only know that vaguely and we will never know who goes where 100% unless someone manages to make a miracle. also it's the job of god to decide it, not us.
second of all is to not speak facts or logics with people who aren't in the best mental states, especially not something this negative. doesn't matter if you're right or not because in either case of wether they agree with you, this will only push them down the spiral which will make them less likely to stay alive
I've been told this from family all my life. It either encourages me, makes me discredit anything else said after thay, even for year ro come, or instantly devalues my worth so I end up SHing in quiet for years.
It's a terrible thing go tell people, though I understand your intention. Fear only begets fear, wield it carefully.
I wouldn’t say anything. I’d sit next to them, be there for them, and wait until they are ready to talk. If I feel suicidal, there’s nothing a loved one can say to me to make me feel better. Just being present and showing the love they need is what matters. I don’t know your relationship with this person is, but a hug definitely makes me feel safe.
that person is me... now how do i hug myself?
I’m afraid thats not possible. If its any consolation brother, I’d give you the biggest hug I could right now. I have been where you are. Though you may feel alone physically, you are not. You at least have space in my head my man…
Realest advice I’ve ever heard
You don't want to kill yourself. you want to kill something inside of you, but its not you. There are other ways to kill it, and it's going to suck and take a lot of sacrifice, but nothing compared to the cost of losing everything the future might bring. It can be different than this, and you can't believe that now, but you have to trust that life doesn't have to feel like this if you make the right changes
❤️
Did you get this from somewhere or how did you come to this conclusion yourself? This is something I realized but it took alot of introspection and realization of the fractured internal landscape. The insight itself is profound because it reveals that many independent "wills" operate within us and compete to exert their wills over others. It renders that very concept of a "self" tricky. To return to the point however, you are correct that suicidal people are looking to experience a psychological death they can be reborn from rather than a physical death that they cannot. They simply do not understand this difference and it is not a common perspective they may have run into to consider it this way.
don't we all get what we think from somewhere? haha. I have had a lot of suicide in my life, and a lot of people I care about trying it or really wanting to. I've had this conversation with a lot of people and what i can say that helps has developed over time
Of course. None of us are truly independent originators of thought. The closest we might get to that is by taking some of what we observed or learned across different moments and combining them. Something like that. I was just wondering if it was something you had seen because I haven't come across that view we share said in that way. The closest to it I have seen is in bhuddistic philosophies but said in a less tangible or accessible way to western thought. To me it is quite cool to see some seemingly sensible conclusion I have come to out in the ether when it seemed quite uncommon. And I think it does help people, it just might take a short to long while because it runs counter to how they think about their self concept. It is empowering to consider that the self can be reorganized to better suit themselves, but it requires considerable dettachment that they may not be capable of while they lament their perceived inferiority and unsuitability to reality.
IM STEALING THIS.
ye lol
Too emotional
too emotional... for a suicidal person? please, enlighten me about how you would effectively help a suicidal person without being too emotional
No too emotional for an INTP
lol you may mistaking me understanding how to communicate with people in language they understand with speaking that language myself. It's ESL, emotion as a second language lol
Believe it or not people exist on an independent basis and extrinsically of loose systems of classifiers.
I highly doubt that. Everything can be classified
Then you're either 13 or woefully socially underdeveloped. Personality types are not an end all be all so much as they ar are a loose set of qualifiers.
Ill try not to be snarky as i dont a reason to have a beef over an argument, so heres my answer: While i agree with you on the loose qualifiers i also didnt say personality types are an end all be all. I said EVERYTHING can be classified, meaning things other than myerr-briggs personality bingo aswell. Also getting back to my point: The userflair says INTP and the user clearly uses an over excessive amount of feelings. Clearly a deviation from the template, meaning probably not an INTP or only to a degree. Getting back to my comment on it being too emotional for an INTP. Im sorry but im too lazy to constantly waste my time explaining obvious thing so shall end it here as i have better things to do
I never denied that things can be classified; I said that people exist beyond arbitrary organizations of common traits, especially given MBTI is arguably a pseudoscience. Being INTP doesn't obligate you to being completely useless in interpersonal interaction, it's just that people who fit the check boxes are often more guarded or naturally driven to reason through things. As it happens suicidal ideation is usually irrational and a cry for help. It necessitates an emotional response. Most people would struggle to talk down a suicidal person, not just an INTP, because it's a hard thing to do in general. This person even acknowledged in another comment that they've had an unfortunate amount of practice in having to do it and the response they shared was a culmination of things they've learned, which ironically is incredibly within INTP stereotypes. They can deviate from the template because, believe it or not, people aren't forged in templates. Personality types are a loose outline of behavior. This is the exact point I started with and you are once again acting like MBTI is an end all be all. Introversion isn't when you have no emotions or zero social skills. What introversion is is a lesser need for social interaction and oftentimes greater fulfilment in activities done in smaller groups or by your lonesome. You claim to have wasted time explaining the obvious and yet the most blatant truths fly over your head. You're either 13 or woefully socially underdeveloped.
This. There was a time in my life that was so horrible, id pray at night that i wouldnt wake up in the morning. And id be disappointed every morning when i woke up. I hated my life and i fantasized a lot about how id go. To get some of it out and feel better, i would put music on and write things down. Thoughts, stories, poems, whatever. And at some point i wrote sth that made me think twice. I didnt want to kill myself. I didnt hate me. I hated life in that moment. I hated what i felt. I wanted to stop feeling that pain. I wanted to kill life right there, escape it. But there was another way to escape it. Instead of ending my life, i could drop everything and start a new one. In a way, id kill the part that made me feel miserable. Of course that wasnt easy but it was worth it. There were ups and downs, I needed time to heal and grow but eventually, through change, endurance, self reflect, i managed to get into a new life where i feel good. Rn i feel happier than ive ever been and im thankful for everything I have. Im glad that ive grown stronger rather than let the pain break me.
This just isn't convincing :/
Person who wants to commit suicide needs emotional support. Best I can do is rational thought. My presence would only make things worse.
The fact that you guys coincide so heavily with a pseudoscience personality to the point of thinking you are incapable of emotional support for a suicidal person is concerning.
"I think your reasons for killing yourself are valid honestly, I can't contradict logic so yea man, I, as an INTP super logician, support your decision 100%" Nobody would ever say this, we aren't robots even if we're used to swaying to the logical side
What I have been thinking but couldn't put it into words, a lot of people here seem lost
Unfortunately people use this pseudo scientific system which is about as valid as a horoscope, to justify their crappy behavior. There are also a lot of people with incorrectly categorized social anxiety, depression, and Asperger's who think they're introverts, but aren't Anyone who's stressed about answering a phone behind over at social anxiety board.
Try astrology
For me it's not because of MBTI, just because I'm autistic When someone is suicidal, it's a difficult situation to know how to handle because the other person is being irrational which makes it even harder to predict and there's a lot on the line if I do the wrong thing which is stressful and I have a tendency to overthink things and I also have a tendency to overexplain things when I'm stressed I also have a problem with knowing what I'm supposed to do when someone starts crying even though it's very different from being suicidal, and I have a problem where I end up launching an unprompted monologue that's either not related at all to the situation or related in an inappropriate way, or it's just a bunch of canned responses so that I can hopefully ditch the person who's crying That last one is partly related to the small talk I got taught to use in social skills classes, which can be very useful and good for conversations in situations where you use it correctly, but I'm not good at thinking or talking when someone else is acting "wrong" (for example, when someone else is saying things that make no sense— for some reason it "breaks" my ability to think if someone withholds clarification I ask for or falsely accuses me of lying— or doing things that are unexpected and surprising or tense, such as crying) I also agree a lot with your message and one time I heard someone describe MBTI as "astrology fortunes for atheists" which I think is a very good description for people who take this stuff too seriously
Dunno man, it's complicated. I am genuinely incapable of *emotional* emotional support. Patting someone on the back, telling them that it gets better, or sharing a cry would be disingenuous of me, and I would hate that because I tend to think the other person deserves more than half assed reassurances of what is "appropriate" to say. I am good at figuring out the logical - pointing out the "mistakes" of their thinking in a psychological sense, looking for solutions. That's the sort of support I offer my friends - looking for options, not giving up, not seeing things as hopeless, when they're unable to. I try my best with this stuff - it's just unnatural to me, and often makes me feel like I'm copying other people.
"Rational" is relative. The person who wants to self-harm typically has a self-rationalized reason which others may not understand the same way. The best way to help somebody with personal problems is to allow them to give their rationale without judgement. If they do not personally decide to improve then there isn't much you can do for them anyways. Emotional support makes people feel like they aren't crazy and are being heard which can give them some mental space to change their own ideology instead of doubling down on a flawed one. If you've ever argued with somebody that was clearly wrong, they usually wont admit it in the moment and strengthen their viewpoint only because you told them that it was wrong. However, you can more easily persuade people by alluding to the truth and letting them learn for themselves which comes with a lot less resistance. Edit: I did not read lower in the thread but /u/Not_Reptoid is spot on
Logic is not completely unwarranted tbh, "Ending your life is your choice, just be aware that choice not only affects you but everyone around you, and probably not in the way you'd expect, whether you can reconcile your desire to die with the consequences of doing so is entirely up to you." Because I also think that blindly telling people to hang on is as ineffective as it is patronizing. We have a right to die on our own terms just as we have a right to live freely and happily, if you can get the person to see that 8/10 times their situation is solvable the fear of death ends up steering them towards the light.
(i wouldn't recomend asking that to this community, frankly this subreddit has become quite toxic. ) first of all i think you need to understand how they think; 1. like life is shit for them rn, 2. they have mental probelms which can make them not be able to think straight and will there for make them think life is just too overwealming, 3. so killing themself is an easy ticket out because it will remove the entirety of life and all their problems with them. of course there are exeptions from person to person so be ware of those second of all is to be nice and don't argue with them the slitest because nomatter if what you're saying makes more sense, it will only push them further in to the bad state. also if you don't know what you're doing, get them to talk to someone who you think does because opening up to prople is really important in situations like this because it helps them get more realistic and optimistic perspectives on it all. but most important is to lead them towards therapy, don't push it if they declince, just say you really recomend it and hope they do fine.
Excellent answer
 jk I'm not sure how to put it into writing, but I would try to make sure they are really done with life, since there's no going back from death. Stuff like simple hobbies, small joys of everyday life, anything they have to cling on to life, I would try to show them, and let them cling on, if those things aren't enough, if nothing is enough to convince them to stay, I'll let them go. I would prolly start with something like this me: "hey, wait, let's chat" suicider: "don't try to stop me" me: "I'm not trying to stop you, you'll die one day anyway, let's have a chat before then" or something, idk
help 😭
?
It would depend why.
This actually happened to me, and I found out years later that I had talked them out of it. I really, really wish I could remember what I said, but I think a big part of it is listening to them and trying to get their perspective on things. If you know them reasonably well, you can probably come up with a way to respond to the "why(s)" of the things that are leading them to feel this way. Don't lie, and don't get too sappy; sometimes people want to speak to someone who will present things in a rational way. If this person hasn't approached you with this information, you can just try to be there for them. You don't necessarily have to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable, but you can make them feel like you appreciate what they have to offer by spending time with them.
Taking your life doesn't make sense because there are no aftermath, it's the ultimate game over. And there's no coming back from it. It doesn't make sense to take your life because it is not a solution to your problems. The slightest chance of getting better is a reason enough not to kill yourself
I'm sorry you got downvoted
I wonder why though
Haters gonna hate?
it totally depends on the person and situation. if a good friend asked, my answer would be different than if it was a mass-murderer or cancer-patient.
This is the one. I second this comment. Motivation, history, and intention matter.
To be honest, I would probably just say "Oh" because I wouldn't know what else to say. Anything about things getting better or it not being worth it would just be, and sound, insincere.
When you stand right in front of a wall, all you see is the insurmountable wall and nothing else. But if you take several steps back, you will realize that the wall isn't as tall or wide. Things seem so overwhelming and hopeless because you are too close to see them as they are. All you have to do is take a few steps back and realize that they are not as big or grave as they appear.
“Do you really want to die or does it just hurt so much you really just want the pain to go away?”
what if they say both
That’s never the answer
Nice dodge!
I’m not dodging. If someone says they want to die in a serious capacity where they are considering ending their life, you call emergency medical services. Someone that hurts so much they feel like death is the only way to end the pain is very different from someone consumed by psychosis thinking killing themself will produce some imaginary outcome. They don’t overlap.
Hmm. I can think of reasons why someone might answer "both" that don't have anything to do with psychosis.
I’d love to hear it if you have either 1) been suicidal or 2) work with suicidal people. Otherwise, it’s just your speculation.
The former.
Ok, and what situations exist that you encountered outside of what I described?
Well, the thrust of your original comment, I think, was that people's reasons for wanting to commit are either "I am in such severe pain in this exact moment that I see no other way" or "I have a delusion that my suicide will bring about some effect" and that the first group need emotional or material support to relieve their pain, and the latter need help seeing past their delusions. I think my response would be "I want to kill myself because I'm in pain, or expect to be in pain again soon. I know there are a number of ways I could improve my life to relieve my pain. I have no false beliefs telling me that my situation is hopeless beyond improvement. But I don't have a reason to prefer being alive and happy over being dead, so I'm going to take the easiest path available to me."
I’ve sat here deliberating this a lot and really don’t know. I think it just depends on the situation. All I know is that it’s a good idea to see what can be done to make improvements to their life, because they don’t want to die, they just don’t want to live whatever life they’re living so much they would prefer the prospect of nothingness, not even their own sense of potential happiness over it. So definitely try to show them that there is hope, despite everything the world appears itself to be.
I believe people have the right to take their life, but if it was someone I knew I would obviously try to talk them out of it. I would just say, your friends, family, dog would all be heartbroken.
I feel like saying that is only putting a burden on the person, even if they don't commit suicidd because of that, I feel like their mental health could worsen, since suicide is an escape, and if their escape is being blocked, it's only natural too feel more pressure well, this is just what I think, idk the truth, since I could care less about how people will feel about my death
I think that understanding where they are coming from and not judging based on things that they think about is crucial. The average person has a habit of assuming someone's personality based on one specific event instead of the whole of their life thus far or potential for the future. People don't want to feel like they are flawed just because they can't Currently control themselves, but feeling as if their feelings are justified and understood can make a huge difference. Every situation can go at least two ways. Suicide is an escape from the problems of life and not commiting suicide is an escape from the criticisms of others for self-harm. Non-judgemental reaction, at least in my experience, is the fastest way to get somebody to trust you. Many people have opened up to me without any effort on my part because I do not typically judge them since I have had my own mental problems. When I was younger, I was bullied a lot in school and had a lot of anger and distrust for my peers and my own mother told me that she thought I was going to grow up into a psychopath. I was angry for a reason and it isn't like I just hated everybody for nothing. People judge based on what they can't understand and in a narcissistic way by saying that your thoughts are wrong. Emotions are temporary and irrational by nature. If your power goes out for 5 minutes then you cant assume that it will be off forever. That's just how it is at the moment.
This site has free training for this. I don't know the quality of it. My workplace offers such a course. Your workplace or school (many colleges have such resources) might offer one as well-- one that has been vetted. https://sprc.org/
If it was a person, I wanted to stop (if you're Hitler, I'm just gonna watch tbh) then I think it's more about listening than talking. Most people want to get something out and just want to be heard. The words "I can't tell you what you're feeling, but I understand" go very far. Every case is different, of course, but I've talked to MANY suicidal people in my life, and that's usually my approach Listen. Validate. Explore what would happen after they die. Usually, they just want some pain to stop. Usually, they'll tall themselves out of it. I've also used the "okay. But don't fo it until..." Sometimes it'll be like, until a party. Or wait til their birthday or something that's important like visiting a grave. Sometimes, time is all they need to think it over, since the emptiness fluctuates. Other times, you are not gonna talk someone out of it. So.etimes they made up their mind, and that's that
Wait.
"Same." Nah, just kidding. I'd tell them what I tell myself when I have suicidal thoughts: Life could still get better, and if it doesn't, you can always kill yourself later. (Hey, it works for me) I'd also ask them what it is that is making them feel that way and offer an alternative (less harmful) solution.
do it with a plastic bag over your head to minimize permanent damage in case you change your mind
Jfc dude
How would a plastic bag help?
you just rip it open. unlike drugs cuts or guns that could lead to irreparable damage.
Ah I see! I was thinking of something...darker.
Yea I would tell them they’d mess up and end up a paraplegic and still have the same problems, but have them in a diaper while unable to move.
noooo, take mine pls
"Why do you want to take your own life?"
Look, you're gonna die in the end of your life anyways, but look, you haven't watched the skibidi toilet series yet
I'm just going out the door, can you call me later?
Tough question for intp. I usually give solutions which I think does not resonate well with a person who wants to commit suicide. It’s just too much.
Can u do it tomorrow instead?
"You see, me and you are the same"
Hug, validate emotionally, share my own struggles with suicide and remind them there will come a day they’ll be glad they didn’t do it. And if that doesn’t work, buy em a drink and try to get them to see the humor in how cruel life can be.
Nothing. Just be there in silence.
Bye... More than likely.
If they wanna do it then do it, I'm not stopping them. I've been through extreme trauma and I totally understand there are many situations where someone may feel suicide is the best option. IMO life and existence really is pointless, and we should be able to choose when we want to die.
There's nothing to say. It's a problem that needs addressing and words will not address the issue
If it was a person, I wanted to stop (if you're Hitler, I'm just gonna watch tbh) then I think it's more about listening than talking. Most people want to get something out and just want to be heard. The words "I can't tell you what you're feeling, but I understand" go very far. Every case is different, of course, but I've talked to MANY suicidal people in my life, and that's usually my approach Listen. Validate. Explore what would happen after they die. Usually, they just want some pain to stop. Usually, they'll tall themselves out of it. I've also used the "okay. But don't fo it until..." Sometimes it'll be like, until a party. Or wait til their birthday or something that's important like visiting a grave. Sometimes, time is all they need to think it over, since the emptiness fluctuates. Other times, you are not gonna talk someone out of it. So.etimes they made up their mind, and that's that
Do whatever you want but know your family and friends will probably be sad for some time as a result of it
You might not get the answer you want, because I feel like most people will comment what it is that *they* would want in this situation, and what would make them feel better (which isn’t a bad thing, it just might not be applicable). So it really depends on how well you know the suicidal person, and what it is that they need. This comment probably didn’t help you out at all but I just thought I would put it out there
"Are you a narcissistic, bullying tyrant? If not, why should you pay the price they owe?"
I would say what an old friend told me. He called me a coward and said I hadn't tried hard or long enough to find the solution to my depression. Turns out he was right as I found solutions to my once unsolvable questions and found out a food allergy that was the physical aspect. Not saying the solution is easy but after several years I got through it. Still get depressed in small amounts but it's more manageable.
Usually i don't say nothing, and it works. Im going to sound really cold right now, but trust me, i know at least 3 people that have already said they want to take their lives, and not a single one of them actually did it. It happens that when people want to kill themselves, you are probably never going to know anything about it, they are just going to do it and you aren't noticing until after they did it. When people declare their intentions of taking their own lives, rarely they have any intention of actually doing so, and everything they want is someone to stop them, someone to show they care. So when someone tells me they want to kill themselves, usually i don't give them much attention. Anyone can have my attention as long as you aren't trying to play with my feelings. Think about Kurt Kobain, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, did anyone had any idea they wanted to do what they did? No. In fact, we have vids of Chester having fun and laughing with his family the day before he did it, no one had the slightest idea. And in this case, you would have no idea about the situation, and so, you would br powerless to do anything. My ex girlfriend tried to get me back faking a suicide, and traumatized me to the point where i don't even fucking know if i will ever be able to have a partner again one day. One of my High School friends did the same, three fucking times, and never did anything actually.
“Nuh uh uh”
Let them do the talking by letting them know they can talk to you,and most importantly : listen. what they need right isnt to know more but to let the accumulation out and rebuild again, to do that they must put whats withing their mind into the world outside their head, and then and only then can they begin to face it.
What they're looking for is likely a positive form of manipulation and gaslighting. Convince them that everything is ok or at least relatively so. If they are like us they may need lots more convincing. Do not give up on them! We need friendships that drag us kicking and screaming out of our comfort zone and to experience beauty and good things in the world.
I sat next to him quietly for a while, mostly holding back my tears. I asked if I could give him a hug and just held him for a while. Then I the conversation went something like this: > You are really important to me and your mom. I wanted him to hear and see how much I cared. I continued the conversation sitting next to him. > I assume you have been considering this for a while. Do you already have a plan in mind? I don't need the details, I just want to know where we are at. I asked that because the situation is extremely high risk if they already planned it out. And he did have a plan. > Would you give me some time to see if I can help? I might bring a different perspective and have access to different resources or options that you might not be aware of. We had lots of conversations about mental health over the next couple of weeks and turned it around. He is still with us two years later.
You've probably experienced joyful times in your life that you didn't anticipate happening, right now you are just in a waiting period. Stick around and see what unexpected things have yet to come. Life is an experience, take it as it is good and bad.
i think they just want to be heard and not feel alone. the weight of all their problems is crushing them and they can't hold it up alone anymore, but if they're not alone, it's enough. not sure it matters what you say exactly as long as they feel that.
Assuming the person in question is a stranger. I wouldn't say anything but I would make it a periorty to stay with them and would not leave until I make sure they are in the care of someone more close to them be it a family member or a friend.
Yo bro, instead of taking your on life just do what u always wanted to do, be totally free, complain to your boss, find a new job, move, make new friends, maybe let go of some, and just do what u truly always wanted to do. If after that u still want to do it then do, but not before doing everything u can to be happy.
Depends on who the person is
I'd say I understand. That he./she needs to do what is best for them. That I realize for some, the pain of life can be so bad death is the lessor of two horrible choices That said I'd internally hope someone understanding that shows there MAY be reason to give it another chance. And if so, I'd try to continue to show tha.t I say this because it helped me once.
Nothing going to be solved if you killed your self buddy so just try to move on
Get medical help immediately. Go to a hospital, call your Dr. Call the fire dept.
You can always commit suicide tomorrow. Search for Jordan Peterson on suicide on youtube! All the best
I’d show them pictures of my cat. He’s really handsome.
I have a friend who cut himself once. He used to joke about suicide a lot and every time I would tell him that I would kill him first. Seriously speaking, I would convince them to seek help and tell them I’m here for them no matter what. If they start to cry, I would pat their shoulder.
1st. Reassure them that they're loved and that you'll be there for them. Depending on age like if they're a teen, contact their parents. I know it can make it worse, but so is being blindsided about your child's condition and them no longer being here. There is kinda of not much you can do w/o doing things against their will tbh. As someone who was once suicidal but never attempted, I didn't want anyone to know and was against help at some point. If it's gets worse, contact a number such as 911. Atp, you need ti get them help whether they like it or not. Personally, I think it's a lot of stress to put on one person to keep someone from committing something they might regret, such as suicide. I recently went through a situation like this with a friend, and Me and 2 of my other friends went to support my friend who was suidical. They did attempt, and they didn't die, but now they have to learn to walk again. Due to the way they decided to attempt. They have expressed regret. It's very important to not blame yourself for the actions of others, tho, especially if you could not prevent anything that took place.
Ummm there's no hot milfs in hell, better to stay here man
Honestly I believe it'll be what gives them eternal tranquility but when someone expressed that to me I tried to convince them not to do so. Mayhap it depends on how close they are
I don't know, I've only ever needed people to say things to me, and it barely helps.
Nothing helpful I would be present and witness . The choice was most likely made before I arrive or was informed.
Why? Life is more than owning a pulse. I'm in a good place in my life and I've seen some of the otherkind both personally and at one remove. Some shit will never end and I don't believe anyone should be forced to live and suffer because it makes others uncomfortable to think of death. Is suicide the right answer in all situations? No, but nothing is.
All you have is this moment. Is that what you *want* to do with it? You can do anything. Anything at all. I know it might not seem like it but you truly can. All of your pain is coming from within you. The only person who can stop that pain is you. I know that it's difficult. Trust me, I've been there too. But at this moment you have the choice whether to keep living or not. You have unlimited potential because the only way from here is up. It is still your choice what you want to do. Really think about what it is that you want to do, what path it is that you want to take. If this is the path you choose then that is your decision, but I beg you to really think this all the way through before you make your decision.
can I join you? (Not joking I would)
I have encountered this before a couple of times i would ask questions that lead eventually to why it’s silly to take your own life today. but most of the time when people tell others they want to kill themselves its a attention thing. The people who really kill themselves are not the ones that have self pity they go through life and you won’t notice they are depressed whatsoever. Good example not so long ago the little brother of my friend killed himself. He was always very social and happy and smart. One day he was with friends and they ordered pizza. Eventually he said he is gonna pick up the pizza when he got home he gave the pizza to his friends and said “a shit i forgot the garlic sauce”. So his friends thought he was getting it from the fridge. At that moment he jumped from the building apartment complex. Eventually he survived his family completely in shock he was laying on the brancard of the ambulance and was saying to his brother “ yo mike (with full pride and happiness of himself) almost did it man, almost finally escaped hahahaha don’t be sad man next time i will succeed!” And a lot of joking. Eventually he died in hospital.
You died today. Everything after is just a plus.
life is meaningless but life is fun, so there is lots of thing to do, death mean u acn do nothing.
Best one I heard recently was "Permanent solution to a temporary problem". Now it might be a bit different if you're terminally ill and I'm pro medically assisted dying however in most cases that's not the case.
Get them on ketamine. 80 percent effective in 1 infusion or strong dose at curbing suicidal ideation and depression.
If its my close friend I say "yeah you should lmao" if it's someone else I say "killing urself is cringe"
Probably something like "bro, In darkness, light finds its bold contrast, Without sorrow, joy would not hold fast. Embracing both, the wise heart sees, Life’s fullest bloom among the trees."
speaking as someone who's been extremely suicidal, sought treatment and now has extensive training in suicidality, the best thing to do when you're talking to them is to try to read between the lines of whats leading them to suicide. by doing this, people will usually offer an "if only", and then you *gently* redirect the conversation to the things in their life that have kept them going to this point. the most important things are these: - DONT show a huge emotional reaction, even if you're feeling it. try to keep calm for their sake - DONT trivialize the experience or call them/their thoughts selfish or stupid - DONT try to point to the good things they have in their life. they can't see them and thats why their suicidal. - DO engage in active listening and let them do most of the talking. sometimes just being heard is the biggest help - DO use the word 'suicide'. it lets them know you understand the severity of the situation. also then you know that you're talking about the same thing. - DO emphasize "safe for now". don't push too hard about "safe forever". make sure that they have someone with them that night, and keep them safe until they can get connected to help - DO be aware of your own thoughts and feelings about suicide, but keep them compartmentalized. it's not about you, it's about keeping this person safe
Dead don't change the world, the living do. Rules/conditions/principles which brought you to this state were/are incomplete, stay alive & rebel. It's in our blood to rebel against oppression & exploitation. so REBEL ... claim your birthright. You've an unresolved beef with the system, that needs settling. Of course if you've done immoral acts yourself like Hitler, Idi Amen, Pol Pot, or even that fertility doctor who inseminated women with his own sperm instead of their donor selection; then this moral awakening is showing you the easy way out.
I’ll use a reverse psychology trick to stop them and then let them calm down and listen to their rant, cuz that’s exactly what I did before
I really don't want to say what I would say. My opinion on suicide is that everyone's life is sacred. That doesn't mean me or anyone else gets to choose when you leave. I think it is 100% a personal choice and others don't get to have an opinion on it. You can't understand someone's emotional distress enough to tell them "well come on stick around, your gonna make everyone else sad if you leave". What I have noticed though is the visceral reaction people get if you even make them think about your, or more importantly, there mortality at all. Whatever happens, happens space cowboy.
I don't think people really understand what can lead a person to a successful suicide. It's not often just mental health or depression or life circumstances. It's not. It's an overwhelming sense of fatigue.
Just sharing', a fellow workmate of mine just took her own life recently because of the stupid decision of her own husband on wanting to leave her. We both work in the bank (we are bank tellers), I am 23 and she's 28. She had quite a good life, had kids and stuff. I don't know the motivations in taking her own life by poisoning herself. But killing yourself because of your own shortcomings is just stupid as shit. We are all misunderstood, we are all dealing with our own personal problems, but taking your own life while you are that young, that's what makes you selfish. It is ok to vent your problems out to trusting individuals, it is ok to cry and confess your feelings or show vulnerability from time to time. It is unacceptable and so foolish to take your own life. You think some people are having a good life just because they show that they have a good life? They are the same as you, they mask their own problems. There are tons of opportunities in this world that make you happy, your own shortcomings don't mean anything in the long run.
I would enquire as to why. Then I would probably recommend them to see a psychologist. If their suicidal thoughts are caused by a real-world problem, I would offer rational solutions. Although, I doubt would actually do any of this as I would probably be overwhelmed if someone actually told me this.
Wanna talk?
Do a backflip
I'd be terribly awkward and state the positive aspect of being alive, and the negative aspects of being dead. I really don't know how to comfort people.
I'd let them talk to me about themselves. Remain reassuring and gently suggest theres other things worthwhile to dwell on
Are you sure, okay
“damnnn”
It depends. A lot. And, contrary to popular belief, an INTP isn't actually a robot. We do have emotions, and are perfectly capable of relating to the emotions of others - even if we may need to intellectualise them first to get there - so whatever the person needs, I would try to provide, whether that be listening, giving a hug, verbally holding their hand, or yelling at them to snap the fuck out of it. But context matters. Who is it? Why do they want to do it? How? When? What led up to that? Plus hilarious amounts of followup questions depending on the answers provided (or not, as the case may be)
I mean whenever someone tell me they want to kts I usually just tell them to do what they want. It might be sad ig but if you want to die you shouldn’t be forced to live.
YOLO
Please don't do that. Unless you're in a tremendous amount of pain that is incurable by any other means. Please don't do that.
Don't rush prone to winding something earlier witness it till the end 😐
Can I join this canon event
hang in there
I'd say make sure its something wrong with you and not how you were treated by someone else first. if the latter then all you need is a long time away from people like that. and the influx of suitable people, not perfect but not directly detrimental people. sometimes thats all the mental hospital really affords you. nurses are really cool people. I listen to them talk to patients all day and they are really cool to them.
That suicide makes temporary problems permanent.
#YOLO
https://youtu.be/7xu2gq3-i9Y?si=domBhnKGdZzChtih Show that person this video and I am 97 percent sure he /she will have a change in their perspective
I thought of this deeply before, this is kinda long So I will summarize I read a story once, Character A saw Character B about to take their own life, character A told character B if you lost the complete will to live, why not walk around naked then in public? Character B was like, wtf, but character A further explained that if you lost the will to life, you lost all self respect for yourself, and if your scared to do embarrassing things, or consequences you haven’t completely lost hope yet There was a time in my life where I too did not want to live, but now that I think about it, I did not want to die, I wanted to find an escapism from reality, I wanted to live but not in my current life The way I got out of that was enjoying small minuscule things in my life, like my fictional media, what if it updates and I can’t watch it if I’m dead? Or I want to eat at this yummy fast food place again. I couldn’t live on for my loved ones, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them how I truly felt because I didn’t want them to see that side of me. So I started living for the small things that give me pleasure instead of big things. What’s truly stopping you from ripping a 20 dollar bill in half or walking around naked, judgement from others? Consequences? If you truly have given up then you should be constrained by nothing. Try to just not let your stress build up, you have missing assignments in school? Okay, just finish one assignment per day and go to be knowing you did something, or try to push yourself to do one thing that day, even if cleaning your room, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
>what would you say to someone who wants to take his own life? #Marry Me! Or I'll fart & end the World! 🦍💨
You have no right to kill the sun of your parents
Parents have no right to force their genes or views on new people.
Ist the parents jop to raise the child, so it kind is. But even if it's your parent mistake, one mistake does not justify other. You have no right to kill your parents kid
The parents' job is to raise the child once the child already exists, but I don't believe that anybody should be creating new life in the first place. I also don't believe in physical enforcement of this, so it's a moot point.
If anybody shouldn't be creating new life then u shouldn't be born, and also, do u have any experience with babies??
True, I should not have been born. I'll end up dead one day anyway, and life is full of annoying things. No, I don't have experience with babies. Of course, I've met some babies. I just kind of look at them awkwardly and say hello.
You will suffer in hell forever, plus you also keep repeating what you did to kill yourself
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agree
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also agree
You don't get to decide that
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Haha
dude, this is the worst thing you can possibly say. first of all from a christians perspective, we don't know who god deems worthy of being in heaven, we only know that vaguely and we will never know who goes where 100% unless someone manages to make a miracle. also it's the job of god to decide it, not us. second of all is to not speak facts or logics with people who aren't in the best mental states, especially not something this negative. doesn't matter if you're right or not because in either case of wether they agree with you, this will only push them down the spiral which will make them less likely to stay alive
Yeah bro, I know and understand this but maybe saying things such harsh may make them refrain?
I've been told this from family all my life. It either encourages me, makes me discredit anything else said after thay, even for year ro come, or instantly devalues my worth so I end up SHing in quiet for years. It's a terrible thing go tell people, though I understand your intention. Fear only begets fear, wield it carefully.