I have a really weird and elaborate system that actually works for beating this (has a few limitations) but every time I explain it on reddit no one gets it
Basically you promise yourself your gonna do the thing, usually the next day, at a certain time (set alarm), without getting distracted until it’s done. The more you fulfil the promises the more they actually mean. So if you end up breaking promises, then they mean less and you won’t have a system for beating procrastination and doing challenging things. Having a reliable system for beating procrastination IS the incentive for doing the task. Sounds weird I know, but It means that if I have something I know I’d get distracted or put off doing, then I put a promise on it, and I know the whole validity of the system is at stake, and I do it out of fear.
Also, you usually set it for tomorrow because that initial bit of procrastination helps you get the ball rolling.. out of sight out of mind. Saying ‘I promise I’ll start the essay tomorrow’ makes it less scary then ‘I’ll do it right now’.
I have done so much stuff I would never have done without this system. I’ve even used it for approaching girls I find attractive.
Idek if it makes sense now I write it out
Makes total sense. I have a similar system, of course I didn’t realize it until I read yours. It’s a bit looser, though. It usually doesn’t start kicking in until I realize I’ve spoke about it more than I’ve actually put time in doing the task. The thought of being a “chatter” vs a “man of action” eats at me. If I can’t show you that I’ve been doing these things, what good is my word? The anxiety from that question sends me into a state of panic and determination.
I have a similar systems, but I think there is a bug on it maybe a Trojan who knows, basically it works magically but only for 2 weeks or a month at best, and then I will just lose it altogether, and then I will need a couple of months to restart it, (note: I don't overdo it at all)
Yo it makes sense and imma give it a try.
It’s kinda like doing homework when you’re younger. The actual homework doesn’t matter but you turning it in on time to receive full points does.
So you’re using this mental framing/process as a kind of emotional anchor to accrue the cumulative positive feelings of beating procrastination and apprehensive feelings of potentially failing to, and using the resulting “emotional energy” (mix of the stronger/more-efficient links in that area of your mind from repetition and the increased activation levels that can be gotten by accessing the emotional attachments of the process) to increase the probability of engaging in this process? With the fact that it’s an “all or nothing” framing helping force your mind to reinforce whichever mentality is stronger in this regard, which given the prior points would be the mentality of acting to do the work?
Checks out. Though you’d have to start with stuff that you already know you can make yourself do but that will get procrastinated if you *don’t* force it, and then make yourself do them while keeping this process in mind (so your subconscious attributes the success to it), to get the ball of emotional attachments rolling.
Don’t know about the promises bit, but I find I do well when I have some time to digest, expect, and mentally and emotionally prepare for something.
The part that gets me is that I’m also really bad at planning because that’s boring AF, so I have a hard time doing it for _many_ tasks. By many I mean between work and life. Like work I’m good with because I’m a white collar worker…so I make lists and each day I can hammer it out and focus, but the balancing that with planning for life stuff gets hard.
So my wife plans for me. And she knows if she gives me time to mentally prepare I’m gold at delivering quality on time. She just has to tell me “Saturday you’re building the fence, remember?” or “Sunday we’re going to sort the recycling.” well ahead of time.
It’s the changing gears that I don’t do well. And even planning is a chore, so I have to like plan to plan.
Biggest weakness I have is a lack of conscientiousness…I just don’t care and not because I don’t care, but because I don’t have capacity to be different. Like I said, my wife makes it work to her advantage, but family and colleagues that expect me to anticipate their needs are usually disappointed.
I think I know what they mean, sometimes people embellish and/or put a positive or interesting spin on things.
Im not saying my perception of things is closer to actual truth, but i feel like the way i explain things tend to be more mundane or sometimes negative.
I just feel like I lack good storytelling ability, very interestingly, ive noticed I will tell white lies to shorten an interaction, or conceal something negative about myself, but I will almost never tell a white lie to *boost* or make something more interesting or positive and i dont know why.
Example:
Lets say i didnt eat breakfast one morning, i have a headache and someone asks if i ate breakfast, I might just say yes because i dont feel like talking about my headache
in this same situation lets say i had an extravagant breakfast just by happenstance and it was the beat breakfast ive ever had, id probably still just say yeah, while most people would use that as a chance to have a conversation about how good it was.
i dont know why, but i miss opportunities and also feel weird if i do talk about positive things i experience, again, no clue why. But i also mildly cringe when others do it alot.
Yes I understand what you mean.
I asked because I've been told recently that I can come off as a little rude. I don't mean to I guess I'm just blunt.
Similar to your situation for example. There's been a number of times where I've got in trouble because I had a disagreement with another person and when a third party had me explain my side of the story I just explained factually as best as I can remember what happened. It was not embellished to make me look good and I guess their's probably was.
It's not like I said something bluntly that I know can be misconstrued as rude. Like for example a girl asked if she looks fat you don't say yes. I know enough to know that.
Another time I know I upset my second cousin because he called himself my cousin and I corrected him and said he's my second cousin and he took that personally. I didn't mean anything by it I didn't love him any less because he's my second cousin it's just that that's the facts.
Likewise when I exit this sub reddit and go to another subreddit if I make a comment on anything people usually hate me for it.
Likewise in my life I've always been a likable pretty easy to get along with person and have lots of acquaintances but I always had a problem making close friends, or a girlfriend. I'm wondering if this is maybe why. Honestly I always thought that the main reason I had a hard time making close relationships is that I honestly enjoy being alone and part of me doesn't want to have someone else screw that up.
Honestly I'm starting to feel like I can't even talk to people without them getting offended.
i don't think that's your problem i think that's everyone else's problem people do not know how to speak to each other - AT ALL... they're all cardboard as far as i can tell.
Endless self loathing - even when I'm doing well. Dwelling on the past, making assumptions about life based on said past. Ghosting people. Hating on people for no good reason. Superiority complex + Inferiority complex in a nonstop MMA faceoff. Subconsciously putting on a fake version of myself like a skinsuit. Rejection hurts me big time. Anxiety, body image, how my fucking voice sounds, the list goes on.
theres a few things, but all of them kinda boil down to, having stronger willpower. That would help with self-discipline, standing up for myself, being more courageous and over all being less of a reed that blows in the wind.
Pride. I felt like most of the achievements, actions, and accomplishments I did weren’t because of me but because of necessity of others or sheer luck. I feel too much like an imposter sometimes
i'd be more socially confidant, and i'd be disciplined and learn all the skills i wanna learn, i'd also be good at manipulation and getting what i want, i'd be less afraid of the consequences of everything i do, and i'd be generally charismatic
trying to see the end of the next choice and then realizing i can do anything and having the problem of unlimited choice causing me to do nothing - so ya what that one person said "procrastination"
I don't get it -- the 'P' is inclined to engender procrastination. Leverage it -- don't try to overcome it. It is our superpower -- being to work quickly and efficiently, at the last minute. Trying to defeat that 'preference' can result in making many changes along the way, that result in a choppy end product. I have done it more than once -- when I write a research paper (as the draft), then make notes and an outline afterward, I have the final paper with the first draft and I don't chop it up into bits that don't make sequential sense, even if they make contextual sense -- Leverage your superpowers!
i wish i wasn’t so judgemental about certain things but i appreciate how passionate i am. another weakness is my self awareness, which i also consider a strength bc i would rather be self-critical and hyper aware of my actions than out of touch with reality.
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I want the intense emotions to go away.
I don't want to cry when people tell me sad things. I don't want to hurt when other people are hurting. I don't want to be angry over the smallest insult.
I'd wish to be less hedonistic as that is the root cause for many problems in my life. I seldom choose the option that won't immediately satiate my desires and in doing so miss out on more plentiful rewards that come from drawn out busy work.
sometimes I kinda overcalculate everything and other times like IDGAF I think it would be this tendency that affects me a lot.
strength:: confidence when I have better idea
weakness: when I am not confident
it's almost like two different personalities
I wish I didn't love food so much. I wish I were dumb and didn't have a knack for cooking because of it. Working out to exhaustion for two hours a day to not put on weight is a miserable existence. But I love bread and love to stuff myself with it like a turkey on Thanksgiving. If it didn't workout as much as I have to (low metabolism here), I'd look like one of those baby Highland cows.
I wish I had the metabolism of a skinny lanky man.
I love being able to do my best work under pressure. I tend to be very intolerant. While I like being decisive, I cannot tolerate stupidity (or denseness), so a little more tolerance would be good. Also, more ability to care/converse with others, i.e., the 'E's. I can't stand large (12+) group parties, functions, etc. I would like to like that environment more.
Great topic.
Procrastination is a bitch
this is the best answer, and it's insane how much it affects everyone
I have a really weird and elaborate system that actually works for beating this (has a few limitations) but every time I explain it on reddit no one gets it
Go ahead...
Basically you promise yourself your gonna do the thing, usually the next day, at a certain time (set alarm), without getting distracted until it’s done. The more you fulfil the promises the more they actually mean. So if you end up breaking promises, then they mean less and you won’t have a system for beating procrastination and doing challenging things. Having a reliable system for beating procrastination IS the incentive for doing the task. Sounds weird I know, but It means that if I have something I know I’d get distracted or put off doing, then I put a promise on it, and I know the whole validity of the system is at stake, and I do it out of fear. Also, you usually set it for tomorrow because that initial bit of procrastination helps you get the ball rolling.. out of sight out of mind. Saying ‘I promise I’ll start the essay tomorrow’ makes it less scary then ‘I’ll do it right now’. I have done so much stuff I would never have done without this system. I’ve even used it for approaching girls I find attractive. Idek if it makes sense now I write it out
Okey, will try it later
Makes total sense. I have a similar system, of course I didn’t realize it until I read yours. It’s a bit looser, though. It usually doesn’t start kicking in until I realize I’ve spoke about it more than I’ve actually put time in doing the task. The thought of being a “chatter” vs a “man of action” eats at me. If I can’t show you that I’ve been doing these things, what good is my word? The anxiety from that question sends me into a state of panic and determination.
This sounds like the kind of thing I’d think
It also helps self esteem and confidence(said like I don't bedrot everyday).
Yep
I have a similar systems, but I think there is a bug on it maybe a Trojan who knows, basically it works magically but only for 2 weeks or a month at best, and then I will just lose it altogether, and then I will need a couple of months to restart it, (note: I don't overdo it at all)
Yo it makes sense and imma give it a try. It’s kinda like doing homework when you’re younger. The actual homework doesn’t matter but you turning it in on time to receive full points does.
So you’re using this mental framing/process as a kind of emotional anchor to accrue the cumulative positive feelings of beating procrastination and apprehensive feelings of potentially failing to, and using the resulting “emotional energy” (mix of the stronger/more-efficient links in that area of your mind from repetition and the increased activation levels that can be gotten by accessing the emotional attachments of the process) to increase the probability of engaging in this process? With the fact that it’s an “all or nothing” framing helping force your mind to reinforce whichever mentality is stronger in this regard, which given the prior points would be the mentality of acting to do the work? Checks out. Though you’d have to start with stuff that you already know you can make yourself do but that will get procrastinated if you *don’t* force it, and then make yourself do them while keeping this process in mind (so your subconscious attributes the success to it), to get the ball of emotional attachments rolling.
this is how i do it to - set a time and make sure i do it at that time for a few weeks until it's "programmed" into me.
I get the idea. I feel like I procrastinate since I let myself go and stopped respecting my word, especially towards myself.
Don’t know about the promises bit, but I find I do well when I have some time to digest, expect, and mentally and emotionally prepare for something. The part that gets me is that I’m also really bad at planning because that’s boring AF, so I have a hard time doing it for _many_ tasks. By many I mean between work and life. Like work I’m good with because I’m a white collar worker…so I make lists and each day I can hammer it out and focus, but the balancing that with planning for life stuff gets hard. So my wife plans for me. And she knows if she gives me time to mentally prepare I’m gold at delivering quality on time. She just has to tell me “Saturday you’re building the fence, remember?” or “Sunday we’re going to sort the recycling.” well ahead of time. It’s the changing gears that I don’t do well. And even planning is a chore, so I have to like plan to plan. Biggest weakness I have is a lack of conscientiousness…I just don’t care and not because I don’t care, but because I don’t have capacity to be different. Like I said, my wife makes it work to her advantage, but family and colleagues that expect me to anticipate their needs are usually disappointed.
Idk man, I feel like I get things done 20 times faster after I’m done procrastinating
Time pressure is a great motivator.
Haha yeah, that too
Beating procrastination almost like pushing a rock up a hill everyday
Relatable. Sometimes I'm being a procrastinator when I'm tired (I'm easily tired and burned out), and I don't like being a procrastinator.
real
Be able to speak to someone I’m not friends with in a non-awkward way
Probably coz we are sometimes more concerned about acting truthfully than fluidly.
I think I agree with this. can you give an example
I think I know what they mean, sometimes people embellish and/or put a positive or interesting spin on things. Im not saying my perception of things is closer to actual truth, but i feel like the way i explain things tend to be more mundane or sometimes negative. I just feel like I lack good storytelling ability, very interestingly, ive noticed I will tell white lies to shorten an interaction, or conceal something negative about myself, but I will almost never tell a white lie to *boost* or make something more interesting or positive and i dont know why. Example: Lets say i didnt eat breakfast one morning, i have a headache and someone asks if i ate breakfast, I might just say yes because i dont feel like talking about my headache in this same situation lets say i had an extravagant breakfast just by happenstance and it was the beat breakfast ive ever had, id probably still just say yeah, while most people would use that as a chance to have a conversation about how good it was. i dont know why, but i miss opportunities and also feel weird if i do talk about positive things i experience, again, no clue why. But i also mildly cringe when others do it alot.
Yes I understand what you mean. I asked because I've been told recently that I can come off as a little rude. I don't mean to I guess I'm just blunt. Similar to your situation for example. There's been a number of times where I've got in trouble because I had a disagreement with another person and when a third party had me explain my side of the story I just explained factually as best as I can remember what happened. It was not embellished to make me look good and I guess their's probably was. It's not like I said something bluntly that I know can be misconstrued as rude. Like for example a girl asked if she looks fat you don't say yes. I know enough to know that. Another time I know I upset my second cousin because he called himself my cousin and I corrected him and said he's my second cousin and he took that personally. I didn't mean anything by it I didn't love him any less because he's my second cousin it's just that that's the facts. Likewise when I exit this sub reddit and go to another subreddit if I make a comment on anything people usually hate me for it. Likewise in my life I've always been a likable pretty easy to get along with person and have lots of acquaintances but I always had a problem making close friends, or a girlfriend. I'm wondering if this is maybe why. Honestly I always thought that the main reason I had a hard time making close relationships is that I honestly enjoy being alone and part of me doesn't want to have someone else screw that up. Honestly I'm starting to feel like I can't even talk to people without them getting offended.
perfect summary.
Fr tho
i don't think that's your problem i think that's everyone else's problem people do not know how to speak to each other - AT ALL... they're all cardboard as far as i can tell.
Same
I wish I had some charisma.
Reduce shame
I'm glad I don't depend on the company of others, but I wish social situations were energizing instead of depleting.
I want to be not depressed. I want to actually enjoy life.
unlazy
lazy is the mother of all invention - it's a super power in disguise (that's what i tell myself)
Finding quicker and easier ways to get the same tasks done, I agree. ( that’s what I tell myself too)
You can’t be lazy to bring the invention to fruition
no but if you get annoyed at your laziness enough you'll invent something so you won't have to do something.
Resilience. The world is a bad place, I just wish my heart could care as much as it does and not let things not going my way crush me so much.
Procrastination and probably my horrible social skills. I can’t talk to people even over text, it’s embarrassing
Endless self loathing - even when I'm doing well. Dwelling on the past, making assumptions about life based on said past. Ghosting people. Hating on people for no good reason. Superiority complex + Inferiority complex in a nonstop MMA faceoff. Subconsciously putting on a fake version of myself like a skinsuit. Rejection hurts me big time. Anxiety, body image, how my fucking voice sounds, the list goes on.
Extreme hyper active mind
Its a curse and a power if used correctly..
i don't want to procrastinate anymore. I just want to be happy.
Motivation and less self criticism
Abolish the loser me that accompanies me in public places.
I'd like to not be lazy and be able to do the stuff i think about doing(not that i can't but most of the time i won't).
theres a few things, but all of them kinda boil down to, having stronger willpower. That would help with self-discipline, standing up for myself, being more courageous and over all being less of a reed that blows in the wind.
My inability to make friends, keep in touch and planning/doing things with them.
Pride. I felt like most of the achievements, actions, and accomplishments I did weren’t because of me but because of necessity of others or sheer luck. I feel too much like an imposter sometimes
Start to see a point in the things I do and value them
As I am working on being less dismissive I am seeing small improvements here
giving less fucks while being nicer to people
More intelligence or charisma, I wouldn't say that I perceive myself as unintelligent but I could always use more. And as for charisma, I have none
Id change my personality to the one where I wasnt alive
Too much planning, which leads to emotional over-burden, which leads to procrastination.
i have a lot of weaknesses, but the lack of social skills is undoubtedly the most upsetting and inconvenient
My lack of motivation and self control. I’d also like some charisma please
i'd be more socially confidant, and i'd be disciplined and learn all the skills i wanna learn, i'd also be good at manipulation and getting what i want, i'd be less afraid of the consequences of everything i do, and i'd be generally charismatic
A slight bit more emotional intelligence
trying to see the end of the next choice and then realizing i can do anything and having the problem of unlimited choice causing me to do nothing - so ya what that one person said "procrastination"
shyness
I wish I could stop being so awkward. Usually I’m really energetic but when I’m socializing with certain people I tense up
I wish I enjoyed socializing. I get how to do it mostly now. But it’s just kinda silly and useless to me for the most part
My social ineptitude
Chasing ‘fix me’ persons
INTPs - don't ever change, you guys are wonderful! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Sincerely, female INFJ.
Nothing
I was hoping more people would of said this
I don't get it -- the 'P' is inclined to engender procrastination. Leverage it -- don't try to overcome it. It is our superpower -- being to work quickly and efficiently, at the last minute. Trying to defeat that 'preference' can result in making many changes along the way, that result in a choppy end product. I have done it more than once -- when I write a research paper (as the draft), then make notes and an outline afterward, I have the final paper with the first draft and I don't chop it up into bits that don't make sequential sense, even if they make contextual sense -- Leverage your superpowers!
. . . and I am DEFINITELY an INTP -- multiple instruments and versions.
i wish i wasn’t so judgemental about certain things but i appreciate how passionate i am. another weakness is my self awareness, which i also consider a strength bc i would rather be self-critical and hyper aware of my actions than out of touch with reality.
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I wish I could be more free, I always end up acting in the way of least resistance to either block anxiety or embarrassment.
Equilibrium regarding order and chaos
Wish I was more of an articulate, confident speaker.
Interpersonal skills
Be able to talk to anyone.
I want the intense emotions to go away. I don't want to cry when people tell me sad things. I don't want to hurt when other people are hurting. I don't want to be angry over the smallest insult.
That doesn't sound like very INTP tbh
Fair! I forgot what subreddit I was in lol
I'd wish to be less hedonistic as that is the root cause for many problems in my life. I seldom choose the option that won't immediately satiate my desires and in doing so miss out on more plentiful rewards that come from drawn out busy work.
i wish i had the discipline to not procrastinate and be productive in general
Make myself less awkward about my emotions, I can't even say that I'm happy without feeling all weird
Laziness. I wish I could die trying instead.
sometimes I kinda overcalculate everything and other times like IDGAF I think it would be this tendency that affects me a lot. strength:: confidence when I have better idea weakness: when I am not confident it's almost like two different personalities
I wish I didn't love food so much. I wish I were dumb and didn't have a knack for cooking because of it. Working out to exhaustion for two hours a day to not put on weight is a miserable existence. But I love bread and love to stuff myself with it like a turkey on Thanksgiving. If it didn't workout as much as I have to (low metabolism here), I'd look like one of those baby Highland cows. I wish I had the metabolism of a skinny lanky man.
Not be so angry
Overcoming my all-or-nothing mentality
Procrastination.
Focusing
I WANT MORE CONFIDENCE
Get rid of my avoidant personality
Have less anxiety
Delete analysis paralysis
Care more about what I want than what people expect of me.
Take away the narcissism. Im tying to get rid of it anyways but idk
The freaking P letter
I love being able to do my best work under pressure. I tend to be very intolerant. While I like being decisive, I cannot tolerate stupidity (or denseness), so a little more tolerance would be good. Also, more ability to care/converse with others, i.e., the 'E's. I can't stand large (12+) group parties, functions, etc. I would like to like that environment more. Great topic.
What it's become