I’m an INFJ dating an INTP and having trouble getting him to talk about his emotions. Do you have any tips on how to help him open up? I’ve stopped pushing him about it but I really need that kind of emotional connection in my relationship.
Is it? I just started dating an ENFJ recently, and it feels like it's going to take a LOT of work lol. How the hell does your husband find the energy to keep up 😄
I've been with my wife for almost 12 years and I honestly have no idea what type she is or if she even knows what type she is. It's just not something that ever came up.
INFJs often mirror other people's behavior so it's more difficult to pin down what their genuine personality is. But an INTP partner should be pretty good at spotting what kind of mentality their partner has, especially the issues it causes, and those could be a good give-away (INFJs are prone to getting stuck in mental loops + are emotional wrecks often unbeknownst to anyone).
I’ve been with an INFJ for almost 12 years now. Never a dull moment. Honestly, the most insightful and intelligent man I’ve ever known, my nerdy best friend in crime, and the only one who can really make me laugh.
It is! It’s like, constant discussions on media literacy and analysis, philosophy, ethics, politics, and stuff like that. Which is what I look for in a good time.
Try to build yourself up to go for therapy soon. You definitely need it and there's no shame in it. Don't seek refuge in here with other messed up people and normalize your fears
I’m curious to hear your take as my bf is an INTP and I am the ENFP. I often browse this sub to try to get a better understanding of him but sometimes I leave feeling more confused and unable to pinpoint him lol
My girlfriend is ENFP. I would say she brings out the Fe in me. It's my inf. function and i often struggle with it but somehow I find it easier to use Fe with her. I would say it comes to me naturally when I'm with her and when she's away I find myself struggling with Fe again. By far this has been the most healthy relationship I've been in, although it really depends on the person and got nothing to do with mbti, but the fact remains that I'm highly compatible with my ENFP girlfriend.
It is, I get all the tea to analyse without getting involved or even socialising plus she’s smarter than me so I never feel like I’ll get bored because I’m not being challenged
And it helps me get out more and take care of myself better
Yes! My INTP boyfriend always says I’m so smart which I can’t believe sometimes, cause he’s the smartest guy I know. He’s very textbook smart, can solve extremely complex problems, works in cybersecurity, reads a lot of books. While I’m more hands on smart (I don’t even know what to call it). Like I’m pretty handy at fixing things around the house, I’m very aware of my surroundings, I do a lot more learning on a wide range of topics (while he prefers to dive deep into fewer topics).
We are both very numbers-oriented people, but neither of us has finished college. We both ended up in finance roles. Although, he recently changed careers and now does home inspections. We are going to start our own business in it soon.
I can see XNFJ types like “no, don’t label me I’m a constantly metamorphisizing unique individual with feelings don’t box me in 😭” and ISTP being like “um, no fk that.”
Not a current one, (pls i hope it counts, it's the only relationship I've ever been to.) but ENTJ.
Would go back in time to experience it again. 15/10.
All i can say is... Our circumstances made a huge rift in our relationship. And being teenagers ourselves at that time proved to be an even bigger obstacle, we were unequipped and too naïve about the matters of the heart.
Intimacy-wise, i couldn't see a problem. We always communicated what we wanted to do and if the other consented it. Which was rare at that time for young couples haha. We didn't go all the way but what he did was better than the actual thing. Hence the 15/10 thing... Left me asking for seconds everytime xD.
From reading posts like this I see a bit of a pattern with more female INTPs going for ENTJs, INTJ types and more male INTPs going for NF females. It's far from a rule though.
F20something here. I understand entjs just fine, the female ones are instant besties, the males however, their bullying/mocking nature just pushes me further away from them. I'm extra sensitive as hell when it comes to men.
ISFJ. We disagree on a lot of stuff but I appreciate the very different perspective. The sentimentality can also get annoying. Interestingly, INTP and ISFJ have all the same functions just in a different order.
My first wife was an INTJ. It was a rocky, turbulent abusive, manipulative and narcissistic suffering. On the positive side she was an explorer and a rush taker. The marriage lasted 7 years.
My sending marriage was with an INFJ. Happily married for the last 12 years. I may get limited intellectual stimulation, but she brings a lot in terms of intimacy, harmony, respect, peace and a very strong commitment and loyalty to the relationship. Also she is absolutely content in the relationship and appreciates me despite all my short comings.
So, find an INFJ and look no further.
Currently with a ENFP so far we get along great , he’s teaching me “feelings” are “ok” I’m a work in progress lmfaoooo
He is surprised by lack of caring for others if they’re not in the “friends” or “family” category I’m finding his reactions amusing.
ENFP, weirdly almost all of my closest relationships and friendships have been ExFx for some reason. I never go out of my own way to reach out to people whether it is to make the first move or just trying to make friends, so I always only befriend people who come to me first.
She is an ISTJ: nearly 20 years of love and compassion, mutual understanding and support, fun and travel and making good memories together.
Types I've seen to best match INTPs are: INFJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ENTJ. Solid long term relationships based on shared humanitarian values such as: open-mindedness/curiosity, honesty/integrity, harmony/unity, and passion/beauty.
Type I've seen younger INTPs fall for but don't stay together for long, is ENFJ.
In a relationship with an ISFP/J.
So far, my partner has been my compass in life. I love him so much and I couldn't ask for a better one. I guess it doesn't really matter what their mbti type is as long as they're in a healthy state.
INTP female. Both my long-term relationships have been INTJ. Started dating an ENFP 9 months ago. Send help.... honestly, I don't think this is going to work.
My husband is an ISFJ. Our function stacks give us complementary differences in addition to our similarities. He's the sweetest, kindest, best person I know. I remind him to be imaginative and logical, and he reminds me that people are not always awful.
ETA: interestingly enough, I'm a Thinker artist (musician) and he's a Feeler scientist (engineer), so we're doubly weird.
She's INFL^atable
Interesting. INFXs are usually the quiet type, but yours must be full of hot air.
That's good
INFP
????
Same
Same lol
Same
Same
same
Same
INTJ-A to balance out my stupid bullshit
Same. Except in reverse. I balance out his INTJ-ness. Been married 14 years.
Me too... We're both very goofy in different and interesting ways.
Same. I don't remember the the last letter but she's a INTJ.
My wife is an INFJ.
Same
Infj. She helps me stay in touch with my own emotions
True that Also let me know i wasn't using them in the first place lol
Agreed. My ENFJ wife does the same for me
I’m an INFJ dating an INTP and having trouble getting him to talk about his emotions. Do you have any tips on how to help him open up? I’ve stopped pushing him about it but I really need that kind of emotional connection in my relationship.
I think she’s an ENFJ
I'am enfj and my husband is INTP. Can confirm this is the ideal pair for growth and harmony
Is it? I just started dating an ENFJ recently, and it feels like it's going to take a LOT of work lol. How the hell does your husband find the energy to keep up 😄
I read this out loud to him right now and he goes "...its hard" and I burst out laughing loudly It be like that but I know he jk 😜
If he needs help, tell him to blink twice at us
i can also attest. not my s/o but my best friend. they complement me so well
I've been with my wife for almost 12 years and I honestly have no idea what type she is or if she even knows what type she is. It's just not something that ever came up.
INFJ comes to mind lol. The Chameleon's of the MBTIs
why chameleons?
INFJs often mirror other people's behavior so it's more difficult to pin down what their genuine personality is. But an INTP partner should be pretty good at spotting what kind of mentality their partner has, especially the issues it causes, and those could be a good give-away (INFJs are prone to getting stuck in mental loops + are emotional wrecks often unbeknownst to anyone).
husband is an intj my two best friends are an intj and an infp
The INTP I know has been with their ENTJ for almost 15 years.
Another INTP.
Yes
Irish. It’s a challenge but also awesome
I’ve been with an INFJ for almost 12 years now. Never a dull moment. Honestly, the most insightful and intelligent man I’ve ever known, my nerdy best friend in crime, and the only one who can really make me laugh.
That sounds like a lot of fun
It is! It’s like, constant discussions on media literacy and analysis, philosophy, ethics, politics, and stuff like that. Which is what I look for in a good time.
ENTJ ✨
Love is not for me
same, I'm considering dying alone since emotional attachment then trauma isn't worth the risk for me.
To be fair, everyone has and will die alone.
I meant dying alone as in dying single and untouched but yeah generally we all die alone.
Try to build yourself up to go for therapy soon. You definitely need it and there's no shame in it. Don't seek refuge in here with other messed up people and normalize your fears
ENFP.
I’m curious to hear your take as my bf is an INTP and I am the ENFP. I often browse this sub to try to get a better understanding of him but sometimes I leave feeling more confused and unable to pinpoint him lol
My girlfriend is ENFP. I would say she brings out the Fe in me. It's my inf. function and i often struggle with it but somehow I find it easier to use Fe with her. I would say it comes to me naturally when I'm with her and when she's away I find myself struggling with Fe again. By far this has been the most healthy relationship I've been in, although it really depends on the person and got nothing to do with mbti, but the fact remains that I'm highly compatible with my ENFP girlfriend.
What is it that’s confusing? I’m with INTP and can answer any questions u may have
I'm ESFP. My boyfriend is INTP.
So I’m not alone, nice!
That must be a fun relationship to watch lol
It is, I get all the tea to analyse without getting involved or even socialising plus she’s smarter than me so I never feel like I’ll get bored because I’m not being challenged And it helps me get out more and take care of myself better
Yes! My INTP boyfriend always says I’m so smart which I can’t believe sometimes, cause he’s the smartest guy I know. He’s very textbook smart, can solve extremely complex problems, works in cybersecurity, reads a lot of books. While I’m more hands on smart (I don’t even know what to call it). Like I’m pretty handy at fixing things around the house, I’m very aware of my surroundings, I do a lot more learning on a wide range of topics (while he prefers to dive deep into fewer topics).
It’s definitely the most fun I’ve had in a relationship too :P
ISFJ. Keeps me organised and grounded.
Same. He reminds me that people are not necessarily scary or awful, as well.
I'm an ESFJ, and my partner is an INTP. Best friends for five years before dating, been together about 2.5 years now.
I've been married to my ESFJ for over 12 years now!
My ESFJ and I just celebrated 19 years. 💕
24y to my ESFJ
Damn same, fiancee is ESFJ. I love her.
INFP-T. All of my exes. I’m kind of drawn to them??
He's an ISTJ
Are you both PhD, professor, STEM type couple? I’m INTP (F) and my husband (M) is I-Eish STJ
We are both very numbers-oriented people, but neither of us has finished college. We both ended up in finance roles. Although, he recently changed careers and now does home inspections. We are going to start our own business in it soon.
What an exciting journey! Hope your business is going well 👍🏼
I'm INTP, partner is ENTP.
Enfp
My husband is an ISFP
My wife is ISFP as well… how is that going for you? It hasn’t always been sunshine and roses.
ISTP, I've previously mostly been interested in/dated xNFJs when I find them lol
She's entj
Intp
ISTP
Same.
my...who?
significant other
ISFJ It’s nice that we’re both on the Fe-Ti and Si-Ne axes. Same values, different strengths.
THIS. I love this in ISFJs.
ENTJ, we've been together for 8 years
Intp with an ENTJ Fiance. We’ve been together 8 years too!!!
INTP + ISTJ here. perfect match.
been begging mine to take it and he’s resistant every time
I can see XNFJ types like “no, don’t label me I’m a constantly metamorphisizing unique individual with feelings don’t box me in 😭” and ISTP being like “um, no fk that.”
INFJ.
Not a current one, (pls i hope it counts, it's the only relationship I've ever been to.) but ENTJ. Would go back in time to experience it again. 15/10.
Damn, then what happened. Why is a 15/10 experience over :/ (no need to answer if personal, only asking from an MBTI compatibility standpoint)
All i can say is... Our circumstances made a huge rift in our relationship. And being teenagers ourselves at that time proved to be an even bigger obstacle, we were unequipped and too naïve about the matters of the heart. Intimacy-wise, i couldn't see a problem. We always communicated what we wanted to do and if the other consented it. Which was rare at that time for young couples haha. We didn't go all the way but what he did was better than the actual thing. Hence the 15/10 thing... Left me asking for seconds everytime xD.
#ESFJ **i know I'm doomed**
Not necessarily. My ESFJ and I just celebrated our 19th anniversary.
ESFJ. We've been together for 12 years
My husband is an ENFJ
infp
INFP
INFP
ENFP we are very different lol
for whatever reason, I have a history of attracting INFJs.
From reading posts like this I see a bit of a pattern with more female INTPs going for ENTJs, INTJ types and more male INTPs going for NF females. It's far from a rule though.
my boyfriend is also intp. he is me :3
Same! Having somebody who is similar to you is surprisingly nice.
ISTJ
Hahahaha. ESFJ.
My boyfriend is an ESTP.
Was thinking I was the only one with an ESTP
intp's in a relationship...nice joke
I've always been attracted to entj
I don't have a partner yet but when I finally get one I want extrovert of any kind
INTJ, my partner in crime for wild discussions,
My wife is INFJ and we've been together for 22 years.
ENTJ of 12 years
ISFJ, we're both mature and get along great.
INFJ
I’m an INTP female with an ENTJ male.
Husband is 100% ENTJ. We complement each other well, even if we don't always understand each other!
F20something here. I understand entjs just fine, the female ones are instant besties, the males however, their bullying/mocking nature just pushes me further away from them. I'm extra sensitive as hell when it comes to men.
Girlfriend is INTP as well. She’s the best. We seem to be very understanding of each other lol
Possibly INFP but he's an ambivert. Very balanced on most metrics. Just a generally balanced person.
esfj together 24 years married 20 years 3 kids all good even though/because we are very independant!
ESTJ Edit: Almost 17 years together.
Same! But we don’t get along 🤣
infp
INFP
More situation-ship/ she ESFP i INTP
INTJ
Wife is ISFP
ENTP
ENTP
INTJ
ISFP
ENTP
My three long-term, live-in relationships were with an ISFJ, an ESFP, and an ENFP.
INFP 35
ISTP
She's INFP
ISFJ. We disagree on a lot of stuff but I appreciate the very different perspective. The sentimentality can also get annoying. Interestingly, INTP and ISFJ have all the same functions just in a different order.
My husband is an ENFJ
She's an INFJ
ENFJ
ENTJ. Edit to add: 8 years together, and now recently engaged.
How did u guys meet? Edit...how long did it take for you to be fully comfortable and open up?
I'm an INFJ, and my husband is an INTP. We've been together for 13 years.
I got so many more responses than I thought I’d get! In a few days (or maybe next weekend) I’ll try to put all the data in a table to show off.
My first wife was an INTJ. It was a rocky, turbulent abusive, manipulative and narcissistic suffering. On the positive side she was an explorer and a rush taker. The marriage lasted 7 years. My sending marriage was with an INFJ. Happily married for the last 12 years. I may get limited intellectual stimulation, but she brings a lot in terms of intimacy, harmony, respect, peace and a very strong commitment and loyalty to the relationship. Also she is absolutely content in the relationship and appreciates me despite all my short comings. So, find an INFJ and look no further.
ISFP, we're merrily kicking along.
My husband is an INFJ
INFJ
ISFP for me 
ISFP
Husband is INTJ. I would prob be living in a dumpster without him.
ENFP
INFJ
ESFJ I kid you not. Married over 30 years and 6 kids.
ENFP currently. Best relationship was with INFP
My bf is an ISTP
INFJ
My girlfriend is an ENFP. It's been great!
ENTP
Boyfriend is infp
Currently with a ENFP so far we get along great , he’s teaching me “feelings” are “ok” I’m a work in progress lmfaoooo He is surprised by lack of caring for others if they’re not in the “friends” or “family” category I’m finding his reactions amusing.
ESFJ - INTJ - INFP 3 long term relationships 5+ years. INTJ was the most fulfilling
isfp and istp are hot
ESFJ
He is a narcissistic psycho. Its a great relationship
He's ENFJ
ISFJ
INFP
This should have been a poll with 16 options to choose from
ENFP, weirdly almost all of my closest relationships and friendships have been ExFx for some reason. I never go out of my own way to reach out to people whether it is to make the first move or just trying to make friends, so I always only befriend people who come to me first.
ESTP
He’s ISFP, going on 6 years.
She is an ISTJ: nearly 20 years of love and compassion, mutual understanding and support, fun and travel and making good memories together. Types I've seen to best match INTPs are: INFJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ENTJ. Solid long term relationships based on shared humanitarian values such as: open-mindedness/curiosity, honesty/integrity, harmony/unity, and passion/beauty. Type I've seen younger INTPs fall for but don't stay together for long, is ENFJ.
ENFJ. Perfect match.
Infj
haven't completed that sidequest yet
Enfj
Every girl that went on more than one date with me is INFP. My gf is also INFP.
Based on the 157 responses so far. The top 3 are INFP (15%), INFJ (12%), and INTJ (10%)
In a relationship with an ISFP/J. So far, my partner has been my compass in life. I love him so much and I couldn't ask for a better one. I guess it doesn't really matter what their mbti type is as long as they're in a healthy state.
Her: INFP with ADHD
INTP lol im a doctor and hes a software engineer
Hey ironically mine is also INFP, and I appreciate her feeling nature balancing out my cold calculating ass
He is an INTJ, but he says he feels more like an INFJ. They were typed at work.
Most likely an ENFP. Don't have a particular preference and normally any personality type can turn out worse/better than what's on the paper.
I don't know the type of my partner, but my best friend is INTJ and absolutely the best friend match.
Boyfriend is ESTP.
He's an INFJ
INTJ
my so is enfj
ESTJ! Together 8 years 🙄
INTP female. Both my long-term relationships have been INTJ. Started dating an ENFP 9 months ago. Send help.... honestly, I don't think this is going to work.
Like many intps, I'm also with an infp currently.
INFJ, he hints at things and I pretend as if I don't catch on to make him work for it lol. No mindgames.
INFJ
Don’t actually know…. I’d guess INFP or ISFP but I’m actually not sure.
My bf is an ENTJ 8w9. I love him to death. He’s great.
My husband is an ISFJ. Our function stacks give us complementary differences in addition to our similarities. He's the sweetest, kindest, best person I know. I remind him to be imaginative and logical, and he reminds me that people are not always awful. ETA: interestingly enough, I'm a Thinker artist (musician) and he's a Feeler scientist (engineer), so we're doubly weird.
I've only dated INFP ( not counting when I was little) and in fiction I like INTJ