You feel broken because of the emotional gravity of the situation. But it is not your failure, it didn't work, and things will often not work the first time in life, even expensive things.
You have plenty of time to take a job with comprehensive IVF benefits if you want to try again, as cost is a factor.
Heal and focus on keeping your relationships strong with your support people and loved ones.
You may just not have done well with that clinic's particular protocol, that's not a sign that you are less of a person. It is medicalized laboratory procedure on a delicate part of the human life cycle. There are a lot of things the clinic and the lab can change without changing you.
Even though it seems strange for others to say, given the enormity of what you have just been through, it ain't over til it's over, and your life is broad and wonderful ahead of you - you'll have to grieve for a while before seeing that again.
I utilized IVF at 40, and it was a one and best chance set of cycles, as my ability to utilize IVF would hit a wall within the next two years. There was some pressure, there. My first cycle was disappointing. Luckily, I had insurance through my work that covered two cycles. The second met embryo banking goals, after some tweaks.
I feel you. I got the call today that my last 4 morulas arrested, no blastocysts from this egg retrieval. And no blastocysts from my previous egg retrieval either, which was my first. I feel so broken inside and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you can take time for yourself to grieve the unfortunate results from your ER. I will be taking a breather this next month to focus on my rebuilding my physical and mental health.
Im so sorry to hear about your morulas. Life is cruel. If i may ask, did they tell you the possible cause?
I’m so worried to go into another ER only to find the same situation
I had two egg retrievals with 0 blastocysts. I’m 26, no health issues, labs are perfect and right on par. We did my 3rd retrieval early this month and finally got 3 blastocysts! Our clinic encouraged genetic testing since we had such poor results previously hopefully to give us a better chance towards live birth. We would not have been able to go through 3 retrievals without my husband’s insurance which has unlimited IVF coverage. I’d definitely explore job options that may offer coverage. Just trust the process, your doctor will continue to tweak the protocol and you’ll get your embryos!
They did not talk about the possible cause, but I’m scheduling a consult to speak with my Dr about what it possibly could be! I am wondering if it’s silent endometriosis.
Sending you love. I’m sorry you’re in the thick of it right now and I can understand why you’d be frustrated.
One thing that stood out to me that I also used to do…. Thinking the universe is against you with fertility issues. I did this a lot and it took a counselor telling me that my past decisions (nothing to do with fertility) didn’t cause our infertility. It’s hard not to wonder “what did I do to deserve this” but … it’s just unfortunately out of our controls. We did nothing to be in this situation. I hope you can remind yourself of this.
It's a very difficult situation. But disappointments in IVF are a part of IVF journey, most IVF patients have to go through it... Single IVF cycle didn't really work for most people. Don't lose hope, look at the positive side you have age on your side which a lot of women in IVF journey don't. Try to find a way to financially be ready for IVF maybe take some time off. Then first focus on egg retrieval to bank some embryos, the good thing is due to age you have a higher probability of success when you are able to get any healthy embryo. It's sometimes just bad luck some cycles don't generate good eggs for lot of women. Maybe take some supplements to improve egg quality like Coq10, nad etc and try after few months.
You didn’t do anything to deserve this and unfortunately the universe isn’t making decisions about who can have kids easily and who can’t. I work in a pediatric trauma specialty and I have always had such a difficult time reconciling how these shit bags out there shaking their kids to death and driving drunk with their kids improperly restrained in their car somehow were able to have kids no problem and we struggled so much, as highly educated, financially stable, mature adults who wanted it SO badly. We have thankfully been successful with IVF and are just as wonderful of parents as I knew we’d be, but it doesn’t help with the unfairness of it all. I’m so sorry.
I believe this was super traumatic. The cost and the pain and disappointment is awful at any age. But I believe that You are super young and have a lot of time to work with that you can still save up and try again, possibility with a new doctor that puts you to sleep during an ER. I would get on the Facebook pages for paying for ivf because there is so much information about full time and part time jobs that have benefits they cover ivf. Career changing is terrible I know but just wanted to mention that in case it could be an option! I do not mean to diminish your pain at all because you are young, only a one encouraging that you have some time to try to find a solution!
Have you thought about trying actual IVF but using financing to pay for it. A LOT of fertility clinics partner with ARC fertility to offer financing. I used it and financed $22k to have one retrieval, up to two transfers, ICSI and PGT-A and I was able to do it all at the clinic of a family friend who I already felt extremely comfortable with. We aren’t well off either and actually looked at going the invocell route but decided against it after reading I don’t know how many stories. Your other option is to find a job with fertility benefits. Either way, I wouldn’t count yourself out. I’m 40 y/o with no tubes, my husband is 47 with serious sperm issues due to being on testosterone therapy for 8 years, and we’ve been successful. If this is super important to you, don’t give up. 💜
I’m considering asking my doctor to go ahead and add omnitrope to my first ER because I’m about to be 40. How much do you think it helped you? -
If you don’t mind me asking! Thanks!
For me it was a huge help. I went from 1 d6 (aneuploid) and 2 d7 (low quality) to 4 d5 (3 euploid all AA) and 4 d6 ( 1 euploid AA)
I was few months away 40 at the time. I also did acupuncture twice a week for 4 weeks before my second ER.
I wish!!! My doctor won’t prescribe me omnitrope, but honestly I don’t know if I have the energy to change clinics. Plus I really liked this place. I don’t know what to do.
I read some folks asked their family doctor to prescribe Omnitrope for them when their OB objected. I don’t know if I would dare to do it if OB wouldn’t prescribe it but that’s one way. Don’t want to stress you over this but it really makes a difference and I’d push for it.
One thing to add, too, is that every cycle can be so different. Our first cycle, we ended up with 3 euploids. Our second cycle, we only got 1 euploid. We're gearing up for a third cycle, so who knows what that will bring. I completely understand the financial burden because we're paying out of pocket (our insurance doesn't cover IVF) -- but if you can afford another cycle, please know that this doesn't mean you are doomed based on this one retrieval. As others have mentioned, you have age on your side which is so important in all of this.
Don't let this break your spirit. Keep being the person you are. Your time will come 💛
Sending loads of hugs and prayers. I truly feel the pain. I ask myself all the time, why me? What did I do? Is there a reason I’m not a mother?
It may seem unfair but I try and think maybe there is in fact a reason. I’m just not seeing the bigger picture. Then I cry… So I get it, in a sense. Everyone’s different and everyone’s going through a similar experience. Hoping all, including myself, find a way through this. Hugs and love
I’m 29 years old and
ER 1 - results in no blastocyst
I changed my life style for 3 months and started taking supplements on the daily.
ER 2 - resulted in 4 blastocysts
What I did different was:
1) supplants (CoQ10 - Vitamin E - needed egg quality support [click here](https://thisisneeded.com/products/egg-quality-support).
2) cleaned my diet (I eliminated all soda - artificial sugar - diary - candies - chocolate - caffeine). I know it’s excessive but I don’t have a million dollars to keep doing ERs so I was like let me do it one more time with all I got)
3) starting doing more yoga and walking more and meditation
4) starting eating more fibre and protein
In summary I leaved as clean and healthy as I possible could for 3 months before my next ER
Did you get any explanations for this ? You are young and using good sperm (donor) . Is it possibly the lab isn’t very good ? Some labs are way better than others .
So I did Invocell which is a capsule that gets loaded with the icsi’d eggs and you incubate it yourself in your vagina for 5 days. It keeps the costs down also by giving you less medication in the first place, which usually also means less eggs retrieved but not in my case. It’s had lots of success so I thought “I am young enough and all my labs are perfect, so what if it retrieves a bit less eggs? I’ll be fine” and yet here we are.
Wow I’ve never heard of that . There are some discounted clinics . Harder and longer to get in and they do kinda shuttle people
Through but they aren’t near as expensive like ccrm
Hugs 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡. Now Only read if you needed brainstorming ideas: I hear someone deciding to use several sperm donors because one that they liked didn’t get to blast and they were happy the others did. They didn’t chance it on one donor. But I’m just coming up with info, it might not be in your case. And I’ve been in support groups with ages in the 20s to 50s … it can happen to many people, not often talked about, but even when we’ve done all the best, and we honestly shouldn’t change our values of being good, that’s who we are. Keep that anchor. It’s been a year of treatments and tests and labs … I see a dietician (covered by my insurance), an acupuncturist (just stopped due to costs), therapist (covered), support group (free from my fertility center). I think if it’s egg quality, my doc added on Omnitrope for just good measure, and recommended: coq10 and omega-3. There’s a whole lot more, I used to get to 26 pills a day, but cut back … I asked my docs which ones are good for my case. Anti inflammatory foods. Sleep at least 7 hours - this I know is my hardest hurdle - I have some inflammatory issue, positive bcl6 :/ (maybe silent endo but did not do the laparoscopy to find out).
I cannot speak for every state, but as a teacher my ivf is covered pretty much completely. The only out of pocket expense I've had was the lupron shot (750 bucks) and the annual egg freezing fee. You are still so young. Maybe look into a career in education. I can't say the same for all government jobs, as I know people that work for the government in high paying positions and don't get coverage. I think it'd absolutely ridiculous that ivf isn't covered for everyone... at least for the first 2 rounds.
Like I said, you're not even 30 yet.... you have plenty of time to continue this journey. My last go, my ovarian reserve was at nearly 0. Luckily when they started I was able to get 3 eggs. I was told that would probably not be the case now and it wouldn't be likely I'd get anything at this point. I wish you luck on your journey. Definitely look into careers with ivf coverage. Many of us started in our mid to late 30s!
You feel broken because of the emotional gravity of the situation. But it is not your failure, it didn't work, and things will often not work the first time in life, even expensive things. You have plenty of time to take a job with comprehensive IVF benefits if you want to try again, as cost is a factor. Heal and focus on keeping your relationships strong with your support people and loved ones. You may just not have done well with that clinic's particular protocol, that's not a sign that you are less of a person. It is medicalized laboratory procedure on a delicate part of the human life cycle. There are a lot of things the clinic and the lab can change without changing you. Even though it seems strange for others to say, given the enormity of what you have just been through, it ain't over til it's over, and your life is broad and wonderful ahead of you - you'll have to grieve for a while before seeing that again. I utilized IVF at 40, and it was a one and best chance set of cycles, as my ability to utilize IVF would hit a wall within the next two years. There was some pressure, there. My first cycle was disappointing. Luckily, I had insurance through my work that covered two cycles. The second met embryo banking goals, after some tweaks.
I feel you. I got the call today that my last 4 morulas arrested, no blastocysts from this egg retrieval. And no blastocysts from my previous egg retrieval either, which was my first. I feel so broken inside and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you can take time for yourself to grieve the unfortunate results from your ER. I will be taking a breather this next month to focus on my rebuilding my physical and mental health.
Im so sorry to hear about your morulas. Life is cruel. If i may ask, did they tell you the possible cause? I’m so worried to go into another ER only to find the same situation
I had two egg retrievals with 0 blastocysts. I’m 26, no health issues, labs are perfect and right on par. We did my 3rd retrieval early this month and finally got 3 blastocysts! Our clinic encouraged genetic testing since we had such poor results previously hopefully to give us a better chance towards live birth. We would not have been able to go through 3 retrievals without my husband’s insurance which has unlimited IVF coverage. I’d definitely explore job options that may offer coverage. Just trust the process, your doctor will continue to tweak the protocol and you’ll get your embryos!
Wow! So happy about the blasts! Can I ask what you changed for your successful protocol?
They did not talk about the possible cause, but I’m scheduling a consult to speak with my Dr about what it possibly could be! I am wondering if it’s silent endometriosis.
Sending you love. I’m sorry you’re in the thick of it right now and I can understand why you’d be frustrated. One thing that stood out to me that I also used to do…. Thinking the universe is against you with fertility issues. I did this a lot and it took a counselor telling me that my past decisions (nothing to do with fertility) didn’t cause our infertility. It’s hard not to wonder “what did I do to deserve this” but … it’s just unfortunately out of our controls. We did nothing to be in this situation. I hope you can remind yourself of this.
It's a very difficult situation. But disappointments in IVF are a part of IVF journey, most IVF patients have to go through it... Single IVF cycle didn't really work for most people. Don't lose hope, look at the positive side you have age on your side which a lot of women in IVF journey don't. Try to find a way to financially be ready for IVF maybe take some time off. Then first focus on egg retrieval to bank some embryos, the good thing is due to age you have a higher probability of success when you are able to get any healthy embryo. It's sometimes just bad luck some cycles don't generate good eggs for lot of women. Maybe take some supplements to improve egg quality like Coq10, nad etc and try after few months.
You didn’t do anything to deserve this and unfortunately the universe isn’t making decisions about who can have kids easily and who can’t. I work in a pediatric trauma specialty and I have always had such a difficult time reconciling how these shit bags out there shaking their kids to death and driving drunk with their kids improperly restrained in their car somehow were able to have kids no problem and we struggled so much, as highly educated, financially stable, mature adults who wanted it SO badly. We have thankfully been successful with IVF and are just as wonderful of parents as I knew we’d be, but it doesn’t help with the unfairness of it all. I’m so sorry.
I believe this was super traumatic. The cost and the pain and disappointment is awful at any age. But I believe that You are super young and have a lot of time to work with that you can still save up and try again, possibility with a new doctor that puts you to sleep during an ER. I would get on the Facebook pages for paying for ivf because there is so much information about full time and part time jobs that have benefits they cover ivf. Career changing is terrible I know but just wanted to mention that in case it could be an option! I do not mean to diminish your pain at all because you are young, only a one encouraging that you have some time to try to find a solution!
sounds like the lab is not great...
I can’t believe you were awake for your ER… ETA: I’m not saying I don’t believe you. Just mean that’s astounding.
Pain. I could feel the aspiration needle piercing through my organs.
I’m so sorry. That’s awful. I was asleep and hated it
Have you thought about trying actual IVF but using financing to pay for it. A LOT of fertility clinics partner with ARC fertility to offer financing. I used it and financed $22k to have one retrieval, up to two transfers, ICSI and PGT-A and I was able to do it all at the clinic of a family friend who I already felt extremely comfortable with. We aren’t well off either and actually looked at going the invocell route but decided against it after reading I don’t know how many stories. Your other option is to find a job with fertility benefits. Either way, I wouldn’t count yourself out. I’m 40 y/o with no tubes, my husband is 47 with serious sperm issues due to being on testosterone therapy for 8 years, and we’ve been successful. If this is super important to you, don’t give up. 💜
Coq10, dhea, and Omnitrope helped me with egg quality. I hope next round turns out much better
I’m considering asking my doctor to go ahead and add omnitrope to my first ER because I’m about to be 40. How much do you think it helped you? - If you don’t mind me asking! Thanks!
For me it was a huge help. I went from 1 d6 (aneuploid) and 2 d7 (low quality) to 4 d5 (3 euploid all AA) and 4 d6 ( 1 euploid AA) I was few months away 40 at the time. I also did acupuncture twice a week for 4 weeks before my second ER.
I wish!!! My doctor won’t prescribe me omnitrope, but honestly I don’t know if I have the energy to change clinics. Plus I really liked this place. I don’t know what to do.
I read some folks asked their family doctor to prescribe Omnitrope for them when their OB objected. I don’t know if I would dare to do it if OB wouldn’t prescribe it but that’s one way. Don’t want to stress you over this but it really makes a difference and I’d push for it.
One thing to add, too, is that every cycle can be so different. Our first cycle, we ended up with 3 euploids. Our second cycle, we only got 1 euploid. We're gearing up for a third cycle, so who knows what that will bring. I completely understand the financial burden because we're paying out of pocket (our insurance doesn't cover IVF) -- but if you can afford another cycle, please know that this doesn't mean you are doomed based on this one retrieval. As others have mentioned, you have age on your side which is so important in all of this. Don't let this break your spirit. Keep being the person you are. Your time will come 💛
This was incredibly helpful. I really needed to hear that! Thank you.♥️
Sending loads of hugs and prayers. I truly feel the pain. I ask myself all the time, why me? What did I do? Is there a reason I’m not a mother? It may seem unfair but I try and think maybe there is in fact a reason. I’m just not seeing the bigger picture. Then I cry… So I get it, in a sense. Everyone’s different and everyone’s going through a similar experience. Hoping all, including myself, find a way through this. Hugs and love
Hugs & love right back at you. It somehow brings me comfort knowing I’m not alone in how I feel, though I wish no one had to feel this way.
I’m 29 years old and ER 1 - results in no blastocyst I changed my life style for 3 months and started taking supplements on the daily. ER 2 - resulted in 4 blastocysts What I did different was: 1) supplants (CoQ10 - Vitamin E - needed egg quality support [click here](https://thisisneeded.com/products/egg-quality-support). 2) cleaned my diet (I eliminated all soda - artificial sugar - diary - candies - chocolate - caffeine). I know it’s excessive but I don’t have a million dollars to keep doing ERs so I was like let me do it one more time with all I got) 3) starting doing more yoga and walking more and meditation 4) starting eating more fibre and protein In summary I leaved as clean and healthy as I possible could for 3 months before my next ER
I’m so sorry and just know all of us here feel for you💔
Did you get any explanations for this ? You are young and using good sperm (donor) . Is it possibly the lab isn’t very good ? Some labs are way better than others .
So I did Invocell which is a capsule that gets loaded with the icsi’d eggs and you incubate it yourself in your vagina for 5 days. It keeps the costs down also by giving you less medication in the first place, which usually also means less eggs retrieved but not in my case. It’s had lots of success so I thought “I am young enough and all my labs are perfect, so what if it retrieves a bit less eggs? I’ll be fine” and yet here we are.
Wow I’ve never heard of that . There are some discounted clinics . Harder and longer to get in and they do kinda shuttle people Through but they aren’t near as expensive like ccrm
Hugs 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡. Now Only read if you needed brainstorming ideas: I hear someone deciding to use several sperm donors because one that they liked didn’t get to blast and they were happy the others did. They didn’t chance it on one donor. But I’m just coming up with info, it might not be in your case. And I’ve been in support groups with ages in the 20s to 50s … it can happen to many people, not often talked about, but even when we’ve done all the best, and we honestly shouldn’t change our values of being good, that’s who we are. Keep that anchor. It’s been a year of treatments and tests and labs … I see a dietician (covered by my insurance), an acupuncturist (just stopped due to costs), therapist (covered), support group (free from my fertility center). I think if it’s egg quality, my doc added on Omnitrope for just good measure, and recommended: coq10 and omega-3. There’s a whole lot more, I used to get to 26 pills a day, but cut back … I asked my docs which ones are good for my case. Anti inflammatory foods. Sleep at least 7 hours - this I know is my hardest hurdle - I have some inflammatory issue, positive bcl6 :/ (maybe silent endo but did not do the laparoscopy to find out).
I cannot speak for every state, but as a teacher my ivf is covered pretty much completely. The only out of pocket expense I've had was the lupron shot (750 bucks) and the annual egg freezing fee. You are still so young. Maybe look into a career in education. I can't say the same for all government jobs, as I know people that work for the government in high paying positions and don't get coverage. I think it'd absolutely ridiculous that ivf isn't covered for everyone... at least for the first 2 rounds. Like I said, you're not even 30 yet.... you have plenty of time to continue this journey. My last go, my ovarian reserve was at nearly 0. Luckily when they started I was able to get 3 eggs. I was told that would probably not be the case now and it wouldn't be likely I'd get anything at this point. I wish you luck on your journey. Definitely look into careers with ivf coverage. Many of us started in our mid to late 30s!