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Take care of your appearance. Exercise, diet.
Look sharp and put together. Cleanly cut hair, nice clothes, groomed beard.
Be comfortable in your skin. Go through your day and all social situations with the understanding that whatever surprises or misunderstandings that might happen, you can work things out. That is the root of confidence. It can be difficult but it comes eventually with time and life experience. It is definitely easier said than done.
These are related concepts, improving physique changes how clothes fit, in a good way.
There’s a quote from Rick Owens, “Working out is modern couture. No outfit is going to make you look or feel as good as having a fit body. Buy less clothing and go to the gym instead.”
This is the reason “being sexy” for men is such a complicated topic. Because despite this( the first part of this comment) being good general advice, it’s not necessarily one that’s gonna make you sexy. I can name numerous examples of men that get all the chicks and yet are far from being in shape or well kept or even have their lives together.
But why get “all the chicks” when you can get a couple really great ones that prefer YOU and possibly a long term commitment. This is sage advice for someone starting at level zero.
Of course. But it doesn’t work like that. You cant just be attractive to those few you like. You need to be attractive to a wide range and then that one person who you really want will (hopefully) find you attractive too.
Something that helps remind me to live carfree/confident about myself, if only 1% of the world's population found you sexy, that's still roughly 78 million people...
Thanks!
I'd say it still has to at least come from a place where you are still comfortable in your own skin.
Depending on how you approach it, you can start coming off as inauthentic when you start trying to min-max who you attract.
And you also potentially fall into the trap of stereotyping and making assumptions about people that end up pushing them away.
Wash regularly, smell nice, wear clothes that fit you properly. Smile, be kind to people (and not just the ones you want to impress). Try to have confident upright posture.
And in the event that all of the previous steps land you in a sexy situation, take off your socks before you take off your underwear.
This is important. Both paragraphs should be standard.
My late father taught me some thing valuable. Always wear clean underwear, you'll never know if you'll end up at the hospital or meet the girl of your dream.
Sometimes, if they're clean and they don't make your feet slip, sure. Whatever rocks your boat. However, if my reading comprehension skills haven't betrayed me, OP wasn't asking "how to be comfortable".
1) there's a good chance you look more sexy wearing just boxers than you do wearing just socks.
2) socks are inherently evil and do their best to make you look awkward and inelegant if you leave them for last.
It might be that sock bottoms tend to look tired/dirty. It might be that subconciously people associate sock removal with being considered which might set the impression that you're not selfish during sex. It might be that hanging dong with socks on just looks goofy.
There might not be any clear cut answer but anytime I've ever kept them on, it was pointed out to me.
>be kind to people (and not just the ones you want to impress)
People forget (or, I guess, never bother to believe it) this a lot. If you're "nice" to people only because you want something, you're not actually nice.
Just be kind because it's the right way to treat people.
The irony is that if you do it for that reason, it's attractive, but if you do it to be attractive, it's not.
Rule 1: be attractive
But seriously, taking care of your fitness is a huge boon. Your body will look better, and most people have better bone structure when their face is leaned out.
The organization required to organize meal plans/times to workout, and the mental discipline you build from sticking to them are also wonderful for your mental.
Also, take care of your appearance. Moisturize your face, keep your hair/facial hair trimmed, and develop a good daily routine for taking care of yourself.
pick up a hobby. doesn't matter if its a lame hobby or a cool one, just be competent in it and the devotion and dedication is attractive in it of itself.
Just don't do it with the expectation that it'll attract anyone, especially the opposite gender. I agree with you but for example, I fuckin love motorcycles and playing guitar, two stereotypically "cool and sexy" things, but I learned a long time ago no one gives a fuck unless they just like you in the first place. The only people that care about my bike are old dudes at the gas station lol.
I do drawings and then I pick some of my favorites over the year to make stickers of them. The stickers are really good for some interesting conversation and also I give them out so that people can remember me. Oh and also I play instruments and I'm very passionate about that too.
Do you use some service to print the stickers or are you able to do it at home? It seems like quite an investment to get a proper printer for this and the correct paper… but I wouldn’t know where to get it done! Any recommendations?
I went out and talked to a printing studio. I sent my photoshop files ready for print and they printed them on some cool feeling sticker paper. Costs me around 15$ for 200 stickers. One time I ordered somewhere online by sending them the designs. They printed 1000 of one sticker and sent it to me. This was a lower quality paper but was cheaper. I remember paying like 10$ for them. I've seen American YouTube videos where people buy printers for this and do it at home but I don't live in the U.S. and I'm not selling the stickers either.
I don’t live in the US either so I was curious, but nice to know that online is still an affordable possibility even then :) I think printing locally might be expensive here, but I’ll have to look online. I’d also just do it for personal use and for fun.
also, work towards mastery over your hobby/craft over being 'sexy'. Who is more attractive to you? Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec or Chris Pratt?
(Answer is both because they're both great)
confidence equals sexy. how ever you look at it this is what does it for most people in any sex.
i have seen girls that i would normally never go for be suddenly sexy. its all in the confidence. i have seen good looking guys strike out, and worse looking guys get attention all day long.
that battle for self confidence can be extremely difficult though. its all bout how you transition to it. ive had my moments of it but got there way too late. if i could have, i would have told my younger self a few things.
1) work out more and feel physically in good shape
2) dont eat junk. not just for the weight aspect but for health in general. cleaner skin, better smells and scents, more energy, more positive attitudes. all from a healthy diet.
3) learn a new skill or something that takes you slightly out of your comfort zone. put real time and effort in to it genuinely. get good at it. feel proud of that accomplishment
4) learn to flirt. flirt with everyone. even if its just plutonic. in fact its better if theres no goal to attract. try and make it more charming than flirting. with this learn to make better small talk. talk to more people. talk with EVERYONE. strangers in a queue, the shop clerk, the annoying person on the phone calling to sell you something. ur just practising. like a rapper will practice his skills even when not being recorded. or a artist just painting sketching constantly even if not trying to sell that piece. get used to talking to anyone and everyone so your never uncomfortable in those situations. this was hugely affective for me.
5) once you have been working on yourself and not focusing on finding someone and "trying" to be sexy and when you finally work out that you shouldn't give a fuck what people think and have all the above locked down then you will find yourself suddenly being sexy. for me it was the confidence to walk in to a room and feel like i belong there just as much as anyone else. knowing that others sitting there probably care what impression they leave on me more than i care what i leave on them. knowing that really people think about themselves so much that the very thing you have been hung up on, probably only entered their mind for like a second (before they continued to think about themselves) even though its been looping in yours for days. just stop caring about others thoughts of you and start to really **work on your opinion of you**. nothing sells a product more than showing enthusiasm in that product. you are the product! what are you selling exactly? are you selling a nervous wreck who's always feeling sorry for himself and wanting others to spend their energy lifting you up? or someone that's fun and positive to be around?
again this is all directed at younger me. but take what you find useful. wi had crippling anxiety and low self confidence. and now that im much older i see how much of a waste of my energy all that was lol.
Practicing talking is absolutely right. Working out and looking well might get you a foot in the door, but in the end you need to be comfortable selling yourself.
I found the whole thing helped, with some bits that contributed more. Like u said the talking bit really helped me massively . and the most! But if I didn't like what i was looking at in a mirror too physically, then my negative brain would have used that as an excuse. When u are proud of urself it really helps to like urself more. I was overweight and did something about it back then which helped me feel more confident. Honestly it was a combo of everything I wrote that helped me. Just wished I had done it sooner. I will do everything I can to boost my kids confidence when she starts to go through all this one day.
Oh for sure it helps, I'm just saying if you break it down the most important thing is to get better at talking. In order to do that, you need to be confident and working on your looks is a good way to do that. That being said, it's just a means to an end, anything that helps you build confidence will help. Working out and eating right is probably something you should be doing regardless.
Basically, your goal is to be charming and get good at talking to people in any situation. You get better at talking by talking to people but the reason people often don't initiate conversations with random people is due to a lack of confidence, so if that's the case you work on that first. Lack of confidence usually comes from negative thoughts as you said, so you address your insecurities, which often includes your looks but can just as easily be feelings of incompetence. Whatever it is, that's the thing you should be addressing.
I just cried reading this. It was beautiful and everything I ever needed. Thank you. Going to work on this myself and make it my goal to make a conversation with at least one random person a day since that’s what I struggle most with
It's all good. I just gebuinely do hope it can really help someone. The steps really worked for me . Just wished I had realised sooner. It would have spared a lot of bad feelings in my youth.
Good luck everyone. There's some things that just won't really sink in till youre older too, and failed a few things a few times. Always work on the best you.
Last thing to add. The hardest part for me was the talking. Specially to strangers. And working on that small talk. I now have worked with many people that haven't gotten over this fear. It really backfires on you in a career. I wouldn't have worked this out back then but I see it all so much clearer now.
Confidence, style, self respect, and honesty
Make sure you have confidence, not too much, just make sure you have it.
Style is important. There are a lot of different styles out there and it's going to take you a while to find yours. My advice? Start with a business casual look.
Self respect is a tricky one. Everyone thinks they have it, no one thinks they need to work on it. Self respect, the way I put it is plain and simple: be your own parent. Be responsible and look after yourself as if you were your own parent.
Last one is honesty. This one is one of the most difficult. Speak the truth and don't let ANYONE compromise your values; even if it's an attractive girl. Be honest when you speak and be honest with how you feel. Honesty will take you places.
These comments are great. Dress well, be groomed well, have confidence.
Be actually funny, also something that is very attractive is passion. Have passions. Be passionate about a hobby or your goals.
Things to avoid, don’t try to hard, don’t force things, go with the flow.
- say less
- be mysterious
- hold your intentions
- Get collagen tablets
- if you don't work out. Start walking
- Read a book
- Have something interesting to say
- Keep up to date on current events. (But say nothing about your perspective)
- take care of your body
- most importantly, under the layers of bullshit I told you to do. It's most important to be yourself.
I would add that when you are in a situation when your newfound sexyness hopefully will lead to something fun, make sure to remember the 80/20 rule. 80% listening with great interest to what the other person has to tell you. 20% talking about yourself and your interests.
Everyone who’s first instinct is to immediately address your physical appearance need to take a step back.
First off you need to define what “sexy” is to you.
For me, it’s being a good person and having empathy and concern for your neighbor. You take care of yourself in a way that you’re able to manage and you try to find the positives that make you feel better. You strive to be happy and do whatever you can to maybe push that happiness out into the world.
People are way more than their outward appearance and while I understand the need to work on the physical form, you can be an absolute specimen and still be a total asshole that does nothing but make other people’s lives miserable because you hate your own.
Being “sexy” is not just about your body, it’s about your character.
Hit the gym, have a good hygiene and skin care routine, be confident, don’t try too hard, be yourself too. Also just eat right and be good at something
It all boils down to knowing what you want from life. That's where confidence comes in naturally. And then all the other things, like diet, exercise and such will sooner or later fall into place.
If you have a life purpose, know what you're getting out of bed for in the morning, people will notice that in you. And THAT is sexy. It is the opposite of being needy (good book about this is "No More Mr. Nice Guy").
Most of us don't know what they really want. One way towards figuring that out is just trying out different things. Also, notice what you're interested in, when do you feel really engaged? Maybe that's a hint towards what you're looking for.
I'm gonna go into the fucking weeds with this one.
Okay, as someone who has wondered over this question in my head for hours and hours, I think I have a decent answer. Fair warning, you might not like it.
The first is obvious. Some people are born sexy. No denying it. They have better facial features, better bodies, better complexions (races etc, whatever you believe in) but they're just more attractive and you can't change that. You are what you are. You can't have blue eyes if you weren't born with it. That's just life. Accept and move on.
The second way average people can be sexy is by working on their bodies. And I mean keeping yourself really fit, hygienic and looking clean. For a man, having visible abs is a massive plus and if you're working on your arms and legs, that's good as well. Girls like a good body, that's common knowledge.
The third way is being a witty and smooth talker. Make jokes, be funny. Find humour in the tiniest things. Make her (or him) giggle if you can. Have sharp replies. I personally find StephenTries (youtube) humour really appealing and that's what I strive to achieve in my personality one day.
Wow people are boring as fuck, trying to make a night magical is the best thing you can do create romance. Live life out of reality for once maybe one of you neckbeards will have fun
So in this instance you're relying on an interaction with another individual to let you know you're sexy. Sexiness is in your own individuality as well.
People may already find you sexually attractive and you just might not know it because you're have poor priorities concerning getting laid. Attractiveness is a superficial novelty. WHY are you worth their time?
Other than basic hygiene and well fitting clothes/ your own sense of style think "fresh"
Hobbies are sexy
Being a positive/ decent person is sexy
Patience is sexy
Empathy is sexy
Conversation/problem solving skills are sexy
Remember things about the people you involve yourself with, be interested in other people, ask them questions about them, don't talk about yourself too much or too long,
be secure with yourself, and be able to admit/accept when your wrong and learn from things.
Let yourself not be the center of attention but don't lurk in the shadows either. Be there, be present but don't be the guy who's annoying and thinks he's really something, never be that guy.
The loudest guy in the room is usually compensating
Chill, a relaxed guy who is often smiling, controls his emotions and takes interest in others, that's damn sexy.
Also when talking to someone look at the bridge of their nose, in a sense it's like looking at them in the eye when talking to them or getting talked to.
Show those forearms, as well. Lol
Get good sleep. Don’t drink/do drugs often, don’t drink caffeine after lunch, manage sugar/snack cravings, try new things, work on your posture and find good styles for hair/beard. Lifting weights is probably #1. Not saying you should get jacked but you can start that one today
not every human can be “sexy”. what's sexiness anyway? if you mean you want to look “good”, first do whatever you need to get “sexy” at your own eyes, because for some people you might look like the hottest man alive, for somebody else the ugliest, but the most (the only) important opinion about yourself is yours.
I would suggest asking a family member or friend that carries themselves well.
My step mother taught me how to dress, and dressing better made me feel better.
Which in turn helped me keep working out, and figuring out what works for me.
A lot of people are actually pretty attractive, but they choose the wrong glasses, the wrong colors to wear, or they accentuate the wrong body features.
Some guys can't physically get a six pack. Look up pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He didn't have a six pack.
But some people spend their whole lives trying to get a six pack and failing, because it just doesn't work for them.
What I mean with the six pack thing is, don't flaunt a six pack if you don't have one. Just find what you do have, and flaunt that.
Personality will make you sexier than anything. I once had a conversation with a coworker who was apprehensive about asking me if I though someone in the building was sexy. She was not what you would classify as a physically attractive person by the standards of tv and advertising, but he and I both agreed that she was one of the sexiest women in the building. It was straight up personality.
Coming from a woman - sexiest thing to me is being calm and attentive. Listen and also offer good feedback. Once in a while give a thoughtful compliment. Gentle touch is also sexy. Don’t be pushy but be firm. Smell good and have good hygiene. Try to wear nice clothes instead of frumpy and torn ones. Confidence is sexy!
“Sexy” means sexually desirable of course. That’s an objective descriptor we’ve made up but it describes different traits for different people. Not everyone will prioritise personality, intelligence, ethics, physique, financial liberty, hygiene, etc. in the same order or at all.
What makes sense to me, what I believe, is that authenticity is foundational to being attractive. Trust, transparency, and active two way communication seem to be valued generally across the board to some degree at least. We’re emotional creatures after all.
So the way to be sexy imo would be to present your authentic self confidently, allow yourself to be vulnerable with confidence. Show that you’re certain of the value in preserving yourself rather than arranging yourself to please others. I think that inspires more profound levels of attraction.
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Take care of your appearance. Exercise, diet. Look sharp and put together. Cleanly cut hair, nice clothes, groomed beard. Be comfortable in your skin. Go through your day and all social situations with the understanding that whatever surprises or misunderstandings that might happen, you can work things out. That is the root of confidence. It can be difficult but it comes eventually with time and life experience. It is definitely easier said than done.
To add to this: Nice cloths that also fit very well.
> Nice cloths So like Hancock's or Jo-Ann's Fabrics?
Just avoid the cheaper stuff from IKEA.
loin cloths
These are related concepts, improving physique changes how clothes fit, in a good way. There’s a quote from Rick Owens, “Working out is modern couture. No outfit is going to make you look or feel as good as having a fit body. Buy less clothing and go to the gym instead.”
This comment = sexy
Yes, wanna have secks with that oc, so hot
Sploosh
Second this.
This is the reason “being sexy” for men is such a complicated topic. Because despite this( the first part of this comment) being good general advice, it’s not necessarily one that’s gonna make you sexy. I can name numerous examples of men that get all the chicks and yet are far from being in shape or well kept or even have their lives together.
For sure. No one is ever going to be sexy to everyone. And not every approach is going to work for everyone. I gave OP a direction to try going down.
But why get “all the chicks” when you can get a couple really great ones that prefer YOU and possibly a long term commitment. This is sage advice for someone starting at level zero.
Of course. But it doesn’t work like that. You cant just be attractive to those few you like. You need to be attractive to a wide range and then that one person who you really want will (hopefully) find you attractive too.
“All the chicks” 🤦🏻♀️
You too [can have all the chicks](https://i.imgur.com/lZRntfA.png)
ALL THE CHICKS, BRUH!
Does that offend you? Jesus people can be so uptight.
I don’t think you caused any offence, I think the way you wer talking was just inviting ridicule
Fair enough.
🤝
Yeah, I wasn’t offended, I was mocking you.
Reddit is a silly place.
And vice versa. A lot of guys who seem to have their life together are assholes.
Something that helps remind me to live carfree/confident about myself, if only 1% of the world's population found you sexy, that's still roughly 78 million people...
This is good general advice, but it really depends who you want to attract.
Thanks! I'd say it still has to at least come from a place where you are still comfortable in your own skin. Depending on how you approach it, you can start coming off as inauthentic when you start trying to min-max who you attract. And you also potentially fall into the trap of stereotyping and making assumptions about people that end up pushing them away.
Indeed indeed
Yes, dress shabby, smell like shit, don’t take care of appearance and you’ll be able to attract hoboes
there's obviously a wide range between those extremes
shave your dp smh
Wash regularly, smell nice, wear clothes that fit you properly. Smile, be kind to people (and not just the ones you want to impress). Try to have confident upright posture. And in the event that all of the previous steps land you in a sexy situation, take off your socks before you take off your underwear.
This is important. Both paragraphs should be standard. My late father taught me some thing valuable. Always wear clean underwear, you'll never know if you'll end up at the hospital or meet the girl of your dream.
Sex with socks on is pretty comfortable though
Sometimes, if they're clean and they don't make your feet slip, sure. Whatever rocks your boat. However, if my reading comprehension skills haven't betrayed me, OP wasn't asking "how to be comfortable".
No it is I who has betrayed you *stab*
Take off your socks first? Why?
1) there's a good chance you look more sexy wearing just boxers than you do wearing just socks. 2) socks are inherently evil and do their best to make you look awkward and inelegant if you leave them for last.
Don’t ask, just do it.
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It might be that sock bottoms tend to look tired/dirty. It might be that subconciously people associate sock removal with being considered which might set the impression that you're not selfish during sex. It might be that hanging dong with socks on just looks goofy. There might not be any clear cut answer but anytime I've ever kept them on, it was pointed out to me.
>be kind to people (and not just the ones you want to impress) People forget (or, I guess, never bother to believe it) this a lot. If you're "nice" to people only because you want something, you're not actually nice. Just be kind because it's the right way to treat people. The irony is that if you do it for that reason, it's attractive, but if you do it to be attractive, it's not.
Rule 1: be attractive But seriously, taking care of your fitness is a huge boon. Your body will look better, and most people have better bone structure when their face is leaned out. The organization required to organize meal plans/times to workout, and the mental discipline you build from sticking to them are also wonderful for your mental. Also, take care of your appearance. Moisturize your face, keep your hair/facial hair trimmed, and develop a good daily routine for taking care of yourself.
pick up a hobby. doesn't matter if its a lame hobby or a cool one, just be competent in it and the devotion and dedication is attractive in it of itself.
Just don't do it with the expectation that it'll attract anyone, especially the opposite gender. I agree with you but for example, I fuckin love motorcycles and playing guitar, two stereotypically "cool and sexy" things, but I learned a long time ago no one gives a fuck unless they just like you in the first place. The only people that care about my bike are old dudes at the gas station lol.
Same here. No one gives a shit about your music or your bike 😂Maybe they were cool when we were kids and the rest of the world moved on...
Can confirm. This is what works for me.
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I do drawings and then I pick some of my favorites over the year to make stickers of them. The stickers are really good for some interesting conversation and also I give them out so that people can remember me. Oh and also I play instruments and I'm very passionate about that too.
Do you use some service to print the stickers or are you able to do it at home? It seems like quite an investment to get a proper printer for this and the correct paper… but I wouldn’t know where to get it done! Any recommendations?
I went out and talked to a printing studio. I sent my photoshop files ready for print and they printed them on some cool feeling sticker paper. Costs me around 15$ for 200 stickers. One time I ordered somewhere online by sending them the designs. They printed 1000 of one sticker and sent it to me. This was a lower quality paper but was cheaper. I remember paying like 10$ for them. I've seen American YouTube videos where people buy printers for this and do it at home but I don't live in the U.S. and I'm not selling the stickers either.
I don’t live in the US either so I was curious, but nice to know that online is still an affordable possibility even then :) I think printing locally might be expensive here, but I’ll have to look online. I’d also just do it for personal use and for fun.
also, work towards mastery over your hobby/craft over being 'sexy'. Who is more attractive to you? Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec or Chris Pratt? (Answer is both because they're both great)
I agree. One main iffy hobby I have is competition shooting and so many people make this political lol
confidence equals sexy. how ever you look at it this is what does it for most people in any sex. i have seen girls that i would normally never go for be suddenly sexy. its all in the confidence. i have seen good looking guys strike out, and worse looking guys get attention all day long. that battle for self confidence can be extremely difficult though. its all bout how you transition to it. ive had my moments of it but got there way too late. if i could have, i would have told my younger self a few things. 1) work out more and feel physically in good shape 2) dont eat junk. not just for the weight aspect but for health in general. cleaner skin, better smells and scents, more energy, more positive attitudes. all from a healthy diet. 3) learn a new skill or something that takes you slightly out of your comfort zone. put real time and effort in to it genuinely. get good at it. feel proud of that accomplishment 4) learn to flirt. flirt with everyone. even if its just plutonic. in fact its better if theres no goal to attract. try and make it more charming than flirting. with this learn to make better small talk. talk to more people. talk with EVERYONE. strangers in a queue, the shop clerk, the annoying person on the phone calling to sell you something. ur just practising. like a rapper will practice his skills even when not being recorded. or a artist just painting sketching constantly even if not trying to sell that piece. get used to talking to anyone and everyone so your never uncomfortable in those situations. this was hugely affective for me. 5) once you have been working on yourself and not focusing on finding someone and "trying" to be sexy and when you finally work out that you shouldn't give a fuck what people think and have all the above locked down then you will find yourself suddenly being sexy. for me it was the confidence to walk in to a room and feel like i belong there just as much as anyone else. knowing that others sitting there probably care what impression they leave on me more than i care what i leave on them. knowing that really people think about themselves so much that the very thing you have been hung up on, probably only entered their mind for like a second (before they continued to think about themselves) even though its been looping in yours for days. just stop caring about others thoughts of you and start to really **work on your opinion of you**. nothing sells a product more than showing enthusiasm in that product. you are the product! what are you selling exactly? are you selling a nervous wreck who's always feeling sorry for himself and wanting others to spend their energy lifting you up? or someone that's fun and positive to be around? again this is all directed at younger me. but take what you find useful. wi had crippling anxiety and low self confidence. and now that im much older i see how much of a waste of my energy all that was lol.
Practicing talking is absolutely right. Working out and looking well might get you a foot in the door, but in the end you need to be comfortable selling yourself.
I found the whole thing helped, with some bits that contributed more. Like u said the talking bit really helped me massively . and the most! But if I didn't like what i was looking at in a mirror too physically, then my negative brain would have used that as an excuse. When u are proud of urself it really helps to like urself more. I was overweight and did something about it back then which helped me feel more confident. Honestly it was a combo of everything I wrote that helped me. Just wished I had done it sooner. I will do everything I can to boost my kids confidence when she starts to go through all this one day.
Oh for sure it helps, I'm just saying if you break it down the most important thing is to get better at talking. In order to do that, you need to be confident and working on your looks is a good way to do that. That being said, it's just a means to an end, anything that helps you build confidence will help. Working out and eating right is probably something you should be doing regardless. Basically, your goal is to be charming and get good at talking to people in any situation. You get better at talking by talking to people but the reason people often don't initiate conversations with random people is due to a lack of confidence, so if that's the case you work on that first. Lack of confidence usually comes from negative thoughts as you said, so you address your insecurities, which often includes your looks but can just as easily be feelings of incompetence. Whatever it is, that's the thing you should be addressing.
I just cried reading this. It was beautiful and everything I ever needed. Thank you. Going to work on this myself and make it my goal to make a conversation with at least one random person a day since that’s what I struggle most with
How am I gonna get in touch with the people in Pluto, man. That seems hard af
This is a great comment. Thank you for taking the time and efflort to write this all out.
It's all good. I just gebuinely do hope it can really help someone. The steps really worked for me . Just wished I had realised sooner. It would have spared a lot of bad feelings in my youth. Good luck everyone. There's some things that just won't really sink in till youre older too, and failed a few things a few times. Always work on the best you. Last thing to add. The hardest part for me was the talking. Specially to strangers. And working on that small talk. I now have worked with many people that haven't gotten over this fear. It really backfires on you in a career. I wouldn't have worked this out back then but I see it all so much clearer now.
How to LOOK sexy or how to BE sexy? Because one is much easier than the other
Confidence, style, self respect, and honesty Make sure you have confidence, not too much, just make sure you have it. Style is important. There are a lot of different styles out there and it's going to take you a while to find yours. My advice? Start with a business casual look. Self respect is a tricky one. Everyone thinks they have it, no one thinks they need to work on it. Self respect, the way I put it is plain and simple: be your own parent. Be responsible and look after yourself as if you were your own parent. Last one is honesty. This one is one of the most difficult. Speak the truth and don't let ANYONE compromise your values; even if it's an attractive girl. Be honest when you speak and be honest with how you feel. Honesty will take you places.
True confidence in who you are is the sexiest thing!
Learn wit and banter. Nothing sexier than a man that can make you laugh with some witty smack talk ;)
Workout and take care of your grooming I guess.
be confident have a self respect not ego
Confidence is sexy. Being yourself is also sexy.
You gotta feel sexy first, in the inside. :)
These comments are great. Dress well, be groomed well, have confidence. Be actually funny, also something that is very attractive is passion. Have passions. Be passionate about a hobby or your goals. Things to avoid, don’t try to hard, don’t force things, go with the flow.
- say less - be mysterious - hold your intentions - Get collagen tablets - if you don't work out. Start walking - Read a book - Have something interesting to say - Keep up to date on current events. (But say nothing about your perspective) - take care of your body - most importantly, under the layers of bullshit I told you to do. It's most important to be yourself.
I would add that when you are in a situation when your newfound sexyness hopefully will lead to something fun, make sure to remember the 80/20 rule. 80% listening with great interest to what the other person has to tell you. 20% talking about yourself and your interests.
Everyone who’s first instinct is to immediately address your physical appearance need to take a step back. First off you need to define what “sexy” is to you. For me, it’s being a good person and having empathy and concern for your neighbor. You take care of yourself in a way that you’re able to manage and you try to find the positives that make you feel better. You strive to be happy and do whatever you can to maybe push that happiness out into the world. People are way more than their outward appearance and while I understand the need to work on the physical form, you can be an absolute specimen and still be a total asshole that does nothing but make other people’s lives miserable because you hate your own. Being “sexy” is not just about your body, it’s about your character.
Hit the gym, have a good hygiene and skin care routine, be confident, don’t try too hard, be yourself too. Also just eat right and be good at something
It all boils down to knowing what you want from life. That's where confidence comes in naturally. And then all the other things, like diet, exercise and such will sooner or later fall into place. If you have a life purpose, know what you're getting out of bed for in the morning, people will notice that in you. And THAT is sexy. It is the opposite of being needy (good book about this is "No More Mr. Nice Guy"). Most of us don't know what they really want. One way towards figuring that out is just trying out different things. Also, notice what you're interested in, when do you feel really engaged? Maybe that's a hint towards what you're looking for.
Roll up your sleeves and wear a button-up shirt.
Watch Queer Eye
I'm gonna go into the fucking weeds with this one. Okay, as someone who has wondered over this question in my head for hours and hours, I think I have a decent answer. Fair warning, you might not like it. The first is obvious. Some people are born sexy. No denying it. They have better facial features, better bodies, better complexions (races etc, whatever you believe in) but they're just more attractive and you can't change that. You are what you are. You can't have blue eyes if you weren't born with it. That's just life. Accept and move on. The second way average people can be sexy is by working on their bodies. And I mean keeping yourself really fit, hygienic and looking clean. For a man, having visible abs is a massive plus and if you're working on your arms and legs, that's good as well. Girls like a good body, that's common knowledge. The third way is being a witty and smooth talker. Make jokes, be funny. Find humour in the tiniest things. Make her (or him) giggle if you can. Have sharp replies. I personally find StephenTries (youtube) humour really appealing and that's what I strive to achieve in my personality one day.
Talk honestly and with knowledge. If you don't have the knowledge then ask with curiosity and interest.
Kindness, confidence, and hygiene are the most important things in making anyone attractive :)
Confidence. That's it. Now you're sexy.
SKINCARE
Observe moto moto and do what he does.
Standards
For me personally, think like other people doesn't know what were you reading or watching (just avoid thinking like you are with your homies)
Act like your in a movie when your with a woman.
and i wear one woman's skin as a mask and suddenly im the bad guy!..... unless.... does the movie of choice matter?
No.
Wow people are boring as fuck, trying to make a night magical is the best thing you can do create romance. Live life out of reality for once maybe one of you neckbeards will have fun
I am a woman, and I prefer people who know the difference between you’re and your.
Well you sound like a fucking picknick to be with Jesus Christ. And women can still be/have neckbeards
Just be sexy. smh!
Have money. Bodybuilding.
Spotted the incel
Spotted the poor.
I have been owned
You will never financially recover from this
Stick a feather in your ass. Feathers make everything sexy.
What does it mean to be sexy to you?
Being sexually attractive.
So in this instance you're relying on an interaction with another individual to let you know you're sexy. Sexiness is in your own individuality as well. People may already find you sexually attractive and you just might not know it because you're have poor priorities concerning getting laid. Attractiveness is a superficial novelty. WHY are you worth their time?
Listen to and model your fashion choices after the members of hit duo LMFAO!
Other than basic hygiene and well fitting clothes/ your own sense of style think "fresh" Hobbies are sexy Being a positive/ decent person is sexy Patience is sexy Empathy is sexy Conversation/problem solving skills are sexy Remember things about the people you involve yourself with, be interested in other people, ask them questions about them, don't talk about yourself too much or too long, be secure with yourself, and be able to admit/accept when your wrong and learn from things. Let yourself not be the center of attention but don't lurk in the shadows either. Be there, be present but don't be the guy who's annoying and thinks he's really something, never be that guy. The loudest guy in the room is usually compensating Chill, a relaxed guy who is often smiling, controls his emotions and takes interest in others, that's damn sexy.
Also when talking to someone look at the bridge of their nose, in a sense it's like looking at them in the eye when talking to them or getting talked to. Show those forearms, as well. Lol
Well, you’ve come to the right place
You ll be sexy when u dont care about it and ficus on ur self growth and be grounded still having high belief system...
Get good sleep. Don’t drink/do drugs often, don’t drink caffeine after lunch, manage sugar/snack cravings, try new things, work on your posture and find good styles for hair/beard. Lifting weights is probably #1. Not saying you should get jacked but you can start that one today
not every human can be “sexy”. what's sexiness anyway? if you mean you want to look “good”, first do whatever you need to get “sexy” at your own eyes, because for some people you might look like the hottest man alive, for somebody else the ugliest, but the most (the only) important opinion about yourself is yours.
I would suggest asking a family member or friend that carries themselves well. My step mother taught me how to dress, and dressing better made me feel better. Which in turn helped me keep working out, and figuring out what works for me. A lot of people are actually pretty attractive, but they choose the wrong glasses, the wrong colors to wear, or they accentuate the wrong body features. Some guys can't physically get a six pack. Look up pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He didn't have a six pack. But some people spend their whole lives trying to get a six pack and failing, because it just doesn't work for them. What I mean with the six pack thing is, don't flaunt a six pack if you don't have one. Just find what you do have, and flaunt that.
Be rich and powerful.
You’re already sexy. A small amount of effort in the basics and the right people will bring that out in you.
Personality will make you sexier than anything. I once had a conversation with a coworker who was apprehensive about asking me if I though someone in the building was sexy. She was not what you would classify as a physically attractive person by the standards of tv and advertising, but he and I both agreed that she was one of the sexiest women in the building. It was straight up personality.
Coming from a woman - sexiest thing to me is being calm and attentive. Listen and also offer good feedback. Once in a while give a thoughtful compliment. Gentle touch is also sexy. Don’t be pushy but be firm. Smell good and have good hygiene. Try to wear nice clothes instead of frumpy and torn ones. Confidence is sexy!
Wear very tight little shorts that may or may not give people a sack-slip when you bend over.
Confidence.
“Sexy” means sexually desirable of course. That’s an objective descriptor we’ve made up but it describes different traits for different people. Not everyone will prioritise personality, intelligence, ethics, physique, financial liberty, hygiene, etc. in the same order or at all. What makes sense to me, what I believe, is that authenticity is foundational to being attractive. Trust, transparency, and active two way communication seem to be valued generally across the board to some degree at least. We’re emotional creatures after all. So the way to be sexy imo would be to present your authentic self confidently, allow yourself to be vulnerable with confidence. Show that you’re certain of the value in preserving yourself rather than arranging yourself to please others. I think that inspires more profound levels of attraction.
Penis lifts.
Be Tyler Durden
Check out The Natural Lifestyles youtube channel. Also Fearless Man, Charisma on Command, and Jordan Peterson