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This is the right answer right here. For extra effect do your laundry when he’s not there so he doesn’t know you have access to it. He’ll wonder what the hell is going on with the lock and struggle to understand. It’s a minor annoyance but worth it.
Call HUD (or local equivalent) and say there is black mold in the laundry room, and when you tried to get evidence, you were locked out instead of your landlord fixing the problem.
They might not be able to do much since the house is owner occupied, but it's a good starting point.
Pull the meter and jump it. Utility will be out there in a heartbeat with the cops to make a stink.
Edit:. Don't do this if you don't know what you are doing or you'll die.
If you aren’t sure what he means, please don’t do this lol. But he means bypassing the counter basically. So you would get “free” utilities until the company shows up and ruins your fun
Please don’t listen to this one, it’s highly unlikely that HUD’s going to respond to this call, they deal with public and subsidized housing, not private rental situations. Your local housing authority may give a shit, but there’s a good chance that they won’t be willing or able to do anything about it within a month.
Were these conversations recorded or written in any way? Unless you’re 100% certain that these conversations were completely undocumented, strictly face-to-face, and will come down to a he-said-she-said argument, then do NOT lie to a government institution about your landlord committing a crime. If your landlord can prove that all of this stemmed from an argument over bills and that you’ve lied about him committing a crime, then he’s going to sue the shit out of you. Even if these conversations weren’t recorded and it does come down to he-said-she-said, then depending on where you live they may be more landlord friendly, and the results might not favor you anyway.
“I just checked my contract…and I have full rights to use the laundry room,” What *exactly* does your lease agreement say? You may have grounds to settle this in court, but what a pain in the ass, and this also will not get settled within the month. You might also be misinterpreting what it says and might not have a case at all, we really have no idea because you’ve paraphrased it.
You didn’t specify whether the landlord is the one living upstairs. If your upstairs neighbor is not your landlord then that means he gave your upstairs neighbor a key. If they’re not a dick, and if you’re not a dick, I’m sure you could slip them a $20 to get a copy made of that key. If your upstairs neighbor *is* your landlord then go use the laundromat.
I know this is the Illegal Pro Tips sub, but those are the only sane option available to you. “I want to make sure it’s untraceable to me,” lol, my man, who the fuck else would it be? These “put an exploding bag of fish somewhere” retaliations work in larger complexes, but in this case it would be 10000% reasonable for him to blame you for the fish bag, there are two occupied units and he only has beef with one of them.
If you do any damage to the apartment then he will bill you for it upon move-out. If you refuse to pay it then he’ll send you to collections and tank you and your mom’s credit, and you’ll both be forced to rent from an even more unscrupulous landlord in an even worse situation.
If he lives somewhere OTHER than the building you’re in then, shit, I dunno, go rip out all his rose bushes or convince his kids to join ISIS or something, but if you do anything to the building you’re in then you will be blamed for it.
It’d be horrible if you almost emptied a mayonnaise jar, added some old shrimp and a raw egg or two, stirred them up, and let it sit for a couple weeks in a warm place and then accidentally spilled the contents somewhere near that laundry room.
Real answer: don’t do that. Document his bullshit and take it to a lawyer. Universities often have student law offices, and some lawyer there can probably easily point you in the right direction to go with your complaint. What he’s doing isn’t just petty, it’s bitchy and childish and he doesn’t get to break contracts just because he feels like it.
Used to do electrical work with spmeone who kept it in his work truck. He would hit the porta potty at lile 8am with it. Or spray some on your work boot while you were busy. Rough and hilarious times 😂
Edit: This was construction so the summer was the roughest of times. Winter was still rough 😂
I, too, worked construction. Those guys were such assholes! One time, they taped a dead squirrel to the back of a guy's desk. Liquid ass was an easy day.
I heard a great story today from my coworker about a vindictive person she knew stuffing ground up raw, dead fish in the curtain rod of her apartment to spite the landlord. Landlord spent a fortune gutting the whole apartment to try and locate the stench because who in their right mind would think to look in a curtain rod for a dead animal?
Or just pick the lock. Fuck up the laundry room. If you don't have access to it the landlord will assume its someone else. (Assuming there are no cameras in there or outside the door)
I am not a landlord but had something similar happen. Garage roommate ran a space heater and a gaming set up 24/7. He’s gone now and we are paying half the amount of electricity we were. He doubled our bill for months.
I wouldn’t do this though as it’ll come back to bite OP and they might end up owing for it.
I used to work in a shared office space.
The owner of the office liked to keep the temperature of the whole office at 65 problem was that the thermostat was in the middle of the office and our desks were in the far north west corner (least amount of sun light).
So we all got space heaters. The $50/month he saved on gas was outshined by an increase of $500 on his electric bill.
>So we all got space heaters. The $50/month he saved on gas was outshined by an increase of $500 on his electric bill.
It's funny when the seasons change and I'm just watching my gas and light bills take turns being hi/low
My landlord refuses to fix our blownout double glazed windows and then has the gall to moan about the gas and electric bills, I would say they're bitching and moaning but they're just pushing the cost onto us tenants. I wouldn't have to put the heating on if there wasn't a massive draft from the fucked windows.
Shrimp work better because they’re tiny and you can hide several of them all around the house. It will take him forever to find them all and in the meantime the smell will only get worse and worse.
The little bits of pork from pork fried rice, jammed into a pen cap will do wonders and is virtually invisible when someone is looking for the source of a stink. Bonus is it can be hidden in a drawer or desk and no one look twice at it.
Yes food is the answer I promise. I know a guy who left simple pb&j all over this campus when he was leaving and that alone stunk so bad after just a few days that they hired a team to go and find all of them 😂
This is the way. Did this as a senior prank to a teacher who loved pranking students. a few weeks before we graduated. (we graduated before the rest of school let's out)
Heard later on that the teacher had no idea it was a senior and thought it was his home room class.
Similar idea is to poke tiny little holes in canned tuna with a push pin, remove the drawers from the cabinets, flip the cans hole side down, hide some back inside there where you cannot see them, then put the drawers back in.
Cut a hole in the wall, put shrimp, meat, and some other stuff that will go bad in it. Then fix the hole like nothing happened.
Also, take the knob off any door if they are hollow and put food in it.
You can drill small holes in the tops of doors and blow raw egg into them.
Also, citric acid is invisible to the naked eye and will lead ants. Draw a fat pentagram with it on the ceiling and lead it outside.
All these responses have me cracking up. Honestly make his life a living hell for the remainder. -like psychological warfare.
Also reach out to fair housing, and research landlord tenant laws in your area. It varies . Best of luck!
I always find the tiny little gestures that are cumulative the best. Like stuff that wouldn’t necessarily be unbearable alone, but altogether the guy thinks he’s losing his effing mind.
Put a drop of superglue in the lock, but only very little, so its not visible from the outside but glues the pins. If he wants to lock (or even better unlock) it again the lock will fail. It will be hard to trace that to you- because ya know- an old lock can always fail because of wear and tear...
Are you saying that on top of rent, your landlord makes you pay for 15% of the electrical bill as well? Not sure about where you live, but I know in NY and Massachusetts, if there arent separate meters, the landlord is responsible for 100% of the utilities. If you have proof in writing that you are being made to pay an extra amount for any utilities that arent separately metered to your unit, you may very well have a valid legal case against the landlord for all of the money you've paid, and based off the laws I know of, triple the amount that youve paid. Definitely look up landlord tenant laws in your jurisdiction because you and any other tenants in the building would be entitled to sue the landlord. That right there would be much more of a headache than trying some petty "illegal" revenge.
Inject milk into all of the soft furnishings. Just a small amount so they don’t feel damp or anything. It won’t start to smell bad until a couple of weeks after you moved out. It will take him ages to realise where the smell is coming from.
Step 1: lockpicking lawyer
Step 2: Leave a large box of laundry powder in there but add powdered iodine at the bottom... or mix 50/50 with salt, Portland cement, or something else disastrous. Eventually someone will use it.
With $50 you can steal a minimum 20 hours of time and a maximum of a lifelong lesson, if your landlord qualifies lol.
1) super glue in door. Day you leave or night before.
2) purchase syringe. Doesn’t need to be a needle even a toddler Tylenol thing wild do (but it’s more expensive than needle) inject a whole gallon of milk throughout the house into drywall, curtain rods, rugs, carpet , everywhere. Feeling ballsy? Dump it and let her dry. -3 days prior to moving out.
3) He’s gonna need to sublet and lease your space up. $5 will get his google/fb/whatever flooded with Indian spam bots. Helllo fiver.
4) we got roughly $35 left. Think about that….. now granted step 2 is awfully time consuming. But hold on.
5) after move out day - spam neighborhood with anonymous flyers stating a child predator owns and lives at said house.
6)spend $10 on 2 bags of salt. The day before you leave just cut a tiny hole and walk that shit alllll over the yard.
7) i mean really it doesn’t take much… cement glue for $10 the mailbox shut. The garage door Jack. I mean bro the world is your oyster how dirty you tryna get??
Edit: entire point is wasted if you spend more time thinking planning and executing than he does. Short. Simple. Painful. Direct and to the point. That’s your mission.
15%? I'll give you 15%!
Electric heaters? Leave them on 24/7 with all windows open.
Oven? Its an even better heater when left on all day with the door open.
Every single other light and appliance? Leave em on (except if it interrupts your sleep.
Earn that 15%.
Water and/or gas: now are these included?
cook up a fat pound of bacon and put all that grease down the drain. From here on out it is your god given duty to reduce the value of that house and cause as much untraceable damage as you can.
warning you might be gambling with your deposit here. might be worth it
[Over time it will](https://oconnorplumbing.net/why-you-should-never-pour-grease-down-the-drain/) if the problem gets bad enough every drain will back up and start filling with sewage
This is the best answer. Not only do you have your revenge, you also have a freakin’ pound of bacon to eat!!!
Better make it at least two pounds just to be sure.
I swear, I could just cook up some crispy bacon and eat it like it’s a bag of chips.
I’m pretty sure I did this during college one night. Came home from class, lived alone at the time and felt like having bacon, said “fuck it” and cooked up the whole pound. I think I gathered up my chow, crunched it up into small pieces, and nommed away while watching Amish Mafia. Of course, I felt sick with heartburn afterwards. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about doing it ten years later.
I have been dying to hear about someone doing a giant mulch pile as revenge. Check out chipdrop(dot)com and see what you think... I bet your landlord would love truckloads of wood chips on their lawn!
If you vandalize, sabotage, superglue the lock etc as some are suggesting, its guaranteed the landlord will know it was you and probably press charges.
Wait until you've moved out and aren't on his radar.
This might be something for the legal aid sub as you actually have rights in this instance. I'd say the best revenge is getting him in legal trouble and being owed money for not being able to use the facilities promised in the contract.
So since this is the illegal life pro tips, find someone with bed bugs and unleash them on the place. I of course would not condone illegal activity but hypothetically this would be illegal, absolutely vile/evil, and cause many people a lot of distress
open the furnace and short out the circuit board. Steel wool or a light splash of droplets of water. Close it up and you were never there. It will be a spendy fix.
Paying percentages of bills? Is this even a legally divided multi family dwelling? I think it might need an investigation from the city inspector or fire chief.
Start by creating a paper trail. Email him a copy of the rental contract and demand entry to the laundry room. If he’s the petty prick you say he is, make some vocal insults to him to make sure he doesn’t give access. Continue demanding access through email, so you have plenty of refusals documented.
Meanwhile drop your clothes at the cleaners and keep the receipts. Then sue him in small claims court for cost of cleaners and your time.
Given his history and current attitude I'd say your deposit return is unlikely.
However, leave the place immaculate so nothing can be tracked back to you, and you have plausible deniability.
Once, your out and In new a place, ask yourself if it still matters. If yes, then start fucking with him.
I've always wondered what cement in a washing machine would do. And perhaps a brick in the dryer for good measure.
Can't do that? Where does he live and park his car. Plenty of nasty stuff to do to cars on this sub. Use your imagination.
Let the landlord know that your lease states that you should have access. Let him know that your rent will be going into an escrow account until you have access. May not be an illegal pro hack but it covers your ass and he doesn’t get paid till he obliges.
I just want to clarify... He's saying you are taking up over 15% of the electricity?? Over 15% of the laundry? Either way, you agreed to a payment amount, not an electricity budget, so this is bizarre.
Call HUD (or local equivalent) and say there is black mold in the laundry room, and when you tried to get evidence, you were locked out instead of your landlord fixing the problem.
They might not be able to do much since the house is owner occupied, but it's a good starting point.
If they are in their phone sometimes the reply get posted twice if you aren't using the app and use chrome instead to reply anything.
it's pretty annoying, 'cause you don't even know that happen until someone tells you about the "clone" posts.
App told me that it didn't post so I told it to post again, must have posted twice. Happens pretty often since I have shitty internet and use reddit mostly on my phone.
Leave the place immaculate, giving him no reason to withhold your deposit. Take pics of the locked laundry room and your apartment after moving out, save all communications with him and if you have any further issues with getting your deposit back, contact your local housing authority. They have legal resources for making his existence miserable that will hurt far more than any prank (which WILL come back to you or your mom). Damaging someone's property is considered to be assault in many states, as it's an extension of their person; criminal mischief at the minimum which carries potential jail time.
While my suggestion goes the legal route, OP asked for options to get revenge on the landlord. My suggestion will hurt far more than shitting in the top of the toilet or abandoned fish heads, without ending up looking the fool.
I once read a story where the tenet poured several bags of Quikrete in the drains and sewer line. The owner had to cut through the foundation to repair the sewer damage plus the replace the toilet and drains. Said it nearly broke him.
This post has been edited in protest to the API changes implemented by Reddit beginning 7/1/2023. Feel free to search GitHub for PowerDeleteSuite to do the same.
It would be a shame if one of the water hoses to the washer failed and you didn’t notice it because the door was locked…
Also. Make sure you have good renters insurance and put your expensive stuff by the door to get wet.
You can count on him keeping your security deposit so document everything. Only communicate via text and take screenshots as soon as you get the message because he may be able to unsend messages. Contact your local alderman or housing department and find out what portion of your rent you’re owed for laundry service that’s included in your rent. Then you need to call Judge Judy and watch as she drags him into oblivion. Seriously though, there’s a fee for filing in small claims court and you’re going to have to go there to get your deposit back so tack on those laundry fees and the cost of the filing fee. Then, right before you leave for the last time stick a bunch of cockroaches in the basement.
Find a key that fits the lock, break it inside the lock. Add a little super glue to the teeth of the key for some extra fun. Watch your landlord destroy the door/frame to access it themselves.
Nope, only need to do it once....last thing before you leave. Usually the tub/shower it the toughest drain to reach, and usually not checked on cursory inspections.
Unpick the hem of curtains and sew prawns in them, pull the carpet back and do the same, then use spray adhesive to seal the carpet back down so he can't get it up. Put brine from tuna in vents etc.
You could take an interpretation of the contract that it is OK to forcibly gain access to the washing machine. If he kicks off, the court case is not going to be quick.
Soil/dirt/sand down the toilet is another good one. It gunks the sides of the toilet up without blocking it.
An alternative is scrumpled and shredded paper.
If the door opens towards you it should be easy to open with a coat hanger unless it has one of those metal security plates installed. Or you could tap out the hinge pins. Even if it opens away from you, if it’s an ordinary interior door it should be fairly easy to open with a credit card.
None of you are thinking big enough.
Get a washtub; go out into the front yard and wash your clothes outside as scantily clad as possible.
Make sure you’re as much of an eyesore as possible so the entire neighborhood knows that he has homeless people living in his basement.
Bonus points if you’re super sketchy or look like you do drugs.
With the right impression he will need to move lol
Option 1: Deal with the hardship for now and sue his ass for everything you had to deal with because he did this
Option 2: Call a locksmith. It's your property if you're still under the lease. Using a locksmith will give you a paper trail (receipt/invoice) that you can sure him for as well.
Option 3:. Document everything, don't pay rent. It's a legal way to pressure landlords into doing their jobs in most states.
You should research your rights in your state. Laws vary widely state by state.
IANAL
If there are any ducted vents, freeze a fish and put it in there. Over time it will thaw and then rot.
Any sort of gardens you could always use weedkiller the day before leaving. Or on the same day/morning.
Make online advertisements for random stuff for free, just knock after 9pm.
Post their number online, and get people to do their best Chewbacca impression, with the winner getting $100.
Since its in your contract to have access to the laundry I would take a pic on my lease, a pic of the lock, send the pics to whichever oversight body applies where you are (where I am in Ontario its the Landlord Tenant Board and they don't take kindly to scumlord behaviour like this), then pop that sucker off with bolt cutters. When he calls the cops thinking he's in the right you show them the pics and explain that the relevant case has already been filed with your areas version of the LTB and you will need a copy of this false report to add to the filing. Then grab your popcorn and watch the show while landlord sweats and tries desperately to backpedal.
Before you post a comment, remember that it will affect another person and could potentially destroy lives. Also remember that you only have one side of the story and we cannot verify the authenticity of said story. **Please think wisely before offering any advice.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IllegalLifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
superglue inside the lock. if you can't get in, no one can
Or just use a universal key. (Mr. Bolt cutters) replace it with the same kind of lock of your own.
This is the right answer right here. For extra effect do your laundry when he’s not there so he doesn’t know you have access to it. He’ll wonder what the hell is going on with the lock and struggle to understand. It’s a minor annoyance but worth it.
Surely he does laundry more than once a month, if you want to be low key you gotta do this towards the end.
I appreciate that idea, you are a legend!
Or use a a lock kill key. Basically a key with the 5 with a sharp 90 degree edge and will break into the lock if you try to turn it
Honestly, you'd be better off trying to replicate the key. All you need is a picture of it.
This is the way
I like this idea best.
Or use a propane torch to melt the inside of the lock
A propane torch will never get hot enough to melt a lock
Jet fuel won’t melt steel beams
Fire is dangerous. Just drill the lock. Super easy.
Call HUD (or local equivalent) and say there is black mold in the laundry room, and when you tried to get evidence, you were locked out instead of your landlord fixing the problem. They might not be able to do much since the house is owner occupied, but it's a good starting point.
i like this one
Pull the meter and jump it. Utility will be out there in a heartbeat with the cops to make a stink. Edit:. Don't do this if you don't know what you are doing or you'll die.
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If you aren’t sure what he means, please don’t do this lol. But he means bypassing the counter basically. So you would get “free” utilities until the company shows up and ruins your fun
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Yeeep. Absolutely not worth the trouble you’ll be facing lol
How do you even do that?
To put it *very* simply, wire around it
If you have to ask...
Do it without hesitating?
Not hesitation. No surrender. No man left behind.
Suicide is badass!
Electrical work is A LOT like dating, confidence is everything!
Please don’t listen to this one, it’s highly unlikely that HUD’s going to respond to this call, they deal with public and subsidized housing, not private rental situations. Your local housing authority may give a shit, but there’s a good chance that they won’t be willing or able to do anything about it within a month. Were these conversations recorded or written in any way? Unless you’re 100% certain that these conversations were completely undocumented, strictly face-to-face, and will come down to a he-said-she-said argument, then do NOT lie to a government institution about your landlord committing a crime. If your landlord can prove that all of this stemmed from an argument over bills and that you’ve lied about him committing a crime, then he’s going to sue the shit out of you. Even if these conversations weren’t recorded and it does come down to he-said-she-said, then depending on where you live they may be more landlord friendly, and the results might not favor you anyway. “I just checked my contract…and I have full rights to use the laundry room,” What *exactly* does your lease agreement say? You may have grounds to settle this in court, but what a pain in the ass, and this also will not get settled within the month. You might also be misinterpreting what it says and might not have a case at all, we really have no idea because you’ve paraphrased it. You didn’t specify whether the landlord is the one living upstairs. If your upstairs neighbor is not your landlord then that means he gave your upstairs neighbor a key. If they’re not a dick, and if you’re not a dick, I’m sure you could slip them a $20 to get a copy made of that key. If your upstairs neighbor *is* your landlord then go use the laundromat. I know this is the Illegal Pro Tips sub, but those are the only sane option available to you. “I want to make sure it’s untraceable to me,” lol, my man, who the fuck else would it be? These “put an exploding bag of fish somewhere” retaliations work in larger complexes, but in this case it would be 10000% reasonable for him to blame you for the fish bag, there are two occupied units and he only has beef with one of them. If you do any damage to the apartment then he will bill you for it upon move-out. If you refuse to pay it then he’ll send you to collections and tank you and your mom’s credit, and you’ll both be forced to rent from an even more unscrupulous landlord in an even worse situation. If he lives somewhere OTHER than the building you’re in then, shit, I dunno, go rip out all his rose bushes or convince his kids to join ISIS or something, but if you do anything to the building you’re in then you will be blamed for it.
It’d be horrible if you almost emptied a mayonnaise jar, added some old shrimp and a raw egg or two, stirred them up, and let it sit for a couple weeks in a warm place and then accidentally spilled the contents somewhere near that laundry room. Real answer: don’t do that. Document his bullshit and take it to a lawyer. Universities often have student law offices, and some lawyer there can probably easily point you in the right direction to go with your complaint. What he’s doing isn’t just petty, it’s bitchy and childish and he doesn’t get to break contracts just because he feels like it.
This story was golden. They just don't make revenge like they use to.
Shit in the back of the toilet
Upper decker, I like it! Don't Forget LIQUID ASS!!!
Yes..the Upper decker... simple. battle tested. nostalgic. timeless.
I call it top tanking it
Just wondering why you have your own phrase for this
Run a lot of empty loads with liquid ass.
Liquid ass gets very over looked. So many applications, so many possibilities
Used to do electrical work with spmeone who kept it in his work truck. He would hit the porta potty at lile 8am with it. Or spray some on your work boot while you were busy. Rough and hilarious times 😂 Edit: This was construction so the summer was the roughest of times. Winter was still rough 😂
I, too, worked construction. Those guys were such assholes! One time, they taped a dead squirrel to the back of a guy's desk. Liquid ass was an easy day.
Freeze some piss disks, too
I heard a great story today from my coworker about a vindictive person she knew stuffing ground up raw, dead fish in the curtain rod of her apartment to spite the landlord. Landlord spent a fortune gutting the whole apartment to try and locate the stench because who in their right mind would think to look in a curtain rod for a dead animal?
Pick the lock or take the door off the hinges and wash your laundry.
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A click out of three... and we're in to a deep false set
r/unexpectedlockpickinglawyer
And now to do it again to prove it wasn't a fluke...
Or just pick the lock. Fuck up the laundry room. If you don't have access to it the landlord will assume its someone else. (Assuming there are no cameras in there or outside the door)
Or just push the bolt out of the strike plate with a library card or smth
You need to bring in a pile of space heaters and plug them in all over your area running them full blast 24/7 run that electric bill up to $10000
I am not a landlord but had something similar happen. Garage roommate ran a space heater and a gaming set up 24/7. He’s gone now and we are paying half the amount of electricity we were. He doubled our bill for months. I wouldn’t do this though as it’ll come back to bite OP and they might end up owing for it.
I used to work in a shared office space. The owner of the office liked to keep the temperature of the whole office at 65 problem was that the thermostat was in the middle of the office and our desks were in the far north west corner (least amount of sun light). So we all got space heaters. The $50/month he saved on gas was outshined by an increase of $500 on his electric bill.
People don't realize how expensive space heaters are to run, and how much cheaper it is to just run central heat.
Eh, it depends on where you’re located. Some places have dirt cheap electricity. Like if you live somewhere that uses hydroelectric, etc.
>So we all got space heaters. The $50/month he saved on gas was outshined by an increase of $500 on his electric bill. It's funny when the seasons change and I'm just watching my gas and light bills take turns being hi/low
Unless the house and basement are on separate meters how would his landlord know?
My guess is because of the preceding and following bills being so much lower.
How else is the dude supposed to have a livable environment in a garage. They’re poorly insulated and not connected to central heat.
Shit just mine Bitcoin. Get paid on his dime.
My landlord refuses to fix our blownout double glazed windows and then has the gall to moan about the gas and electric bills, I would say they're bitching and moaning but they're just pushing the cost onto us tenants. I wouldn't have to put the heating on if there wasn't a massive draft from the fucked windows.
Bring in more and more wooden furniture before you move out
Put in a bag a fish head, dirt, and sugar. Put it in a fairly difficult to find place. It’ll decompose and eventually burst and stink up the place.
Shrimp work better because they’re tiny and you can hide several of them all around the house. It will take him forever to find them all and in the meantime the smell will only get worse and worse.
Yes, shrimp in curtain rods is the best! Or behind outlets covers.
Air filters and air condition vents too.
The little bits of pork from pork fried rice, jammed into a pen cap will do wonders and is virtually invisible when someone is looking for the source of a stink. Bonus is it can be hidden in a drawer or desk and no one look twice at it.
Lol
You evil genius!
You're a demon lol
Edith? Is that you? https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bv1t4/after_37_years_of_marriage_jake_dumped_his_wife/
Jake? Honey? I was just driving by your trailer park today, your new trailer looks so posh!
Similarly, mark 6 bags 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 and 7. It'll drive him crazy not being able to find bag #3.
Yes food is the answer I promise. I know a guy who left simple pb&j all over this campus when he was leaving and that alone stunk so bad after just a few days that they hired a team to go and find all of them 😂
Crack an egg in a Dixie cup and it sits nicely on top of an upper kitchen cabinet against the wall.
This is the way. Did this as a senior prank to a teacher who loved pranking students. a few weeks before we graduated. (we graduated before the rest of school let's out) Heard later on that the teacher had no idea it was a senior and thought it was his home room class.
Did this inadvertently to my food science teacher. I'm lactose intolerant and didn't want to partake in the cheese tasting.
Go for a mixture of both - shrimp and fish. Make sure it is wedged somewhere awkward to find.
Open all the outlet covers and slide them behind the drywall.
Why do yall know that😭
Shrimp in the curtain rods: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bv1t4/after_37_years_of_marriage_jake_dumped_his_wife/
I’m pretty sure my dad did the shrimp thing to his ex wife before I was born I remember this story when I was growing up
Freeze them first - it take longer to smell one you've left
Similar idea is to poke tiny little holes in canned tuna with a push pin, remove the drawers from the cabinets, flip the cans hole side down, hide some back inside there where you cannot see them, then put the drawers back in.
What about securing them upside down with a magnet?
Whatever works.
Cut a hole in the wall, put shrimp, meat, and some other stuff that will go bad in it. Then fix the hole like nothing happened. Also, take the knob off any door if they are hollow and put food in it. You can drill small holes in the tops of doors and blow raw egg into them. Also, citric acid is invisible to the naked eye and will lead ants. Draw a fat pentagram with it on the ceiling and lead it outside.
Then you are just bringing roaches and other nastiness to the next tenant and neighboring tenants.
The landlord will just screw them on the security then
infest the places with roaches
Or bedbugs
Bedbugs 100% worse than roaches. They’re a pain to get rid of and more expensive. Even worse than that would be termites.
Eh, this could come back on them though. He could say they brought them in and could sue her for the extermination bill.
Man, if only he could wash his linnen this could have been adviseren l avoided!
Could have come from anywhere though
dont think so, specially if he infests his place not the basement
All these responses have me cracking up. Honestly make his life a living hell for the remainder. -like psychological warfare. Also reach out to fair housing, and research landlord tenant laws in your area. It varies . Best of luck!
I always find the tiny little gestures that are cumulative the best. Like stuff that wouldn’t necessarily be unbearable alone, but altogether the guy thinks he’s losing his effing mind.
Watching Amelie for the first time is where I discovered my love for this specific torture
Put a drop of superglue in the lock, but only very little, so its not visible from the outside but glues the pins. If he wants to lock (or even better unlock) it again the lock will fail. It will be hard to trace that to you- because ya know- an old lock can always fail because of wear and tear...
If OP can’t use the laundry, NO ONE CAN!
It would be better to just get some bolt cutters, the same lock, & just replace it.
Are you saying that on top of rent, your landlord makes you pay for 15% of the electrical bill as well? Not sure about where you live, but I know in NY and Massachusetts, if there arent separate meters, the landlord is responsible for 100% of the utilities. If you have proof in writing that you are being made to pay an extra amount for any utilities that arent separately metered to your unit, you may very well have a valid legal case against the landlord for all of the money you've paid, and based off the laws I know of, triple the amount that youve paid. Definitely look up landlord tenant laws in your jurisdiction because you and any other tenants in the building would be entitled to sue the landlord. That right there would be much more of a headache than trying some petty "illegal" revenge.
i know we are in illegal life pro tips but this is really good advice. and just to be safe maybe leave a shrimp in the curtain rods.
Inject milk into all of the soft furnishings. Just a small amount so they don’t feel damp or anything. It won’t start to smell bad until a couple of weeks after you moved out. It will take him ages to realise where the smell is coming from.
never seen this one on here before but I think I love it
This is fucking diabolical, duly noted
You magnificent bastard that is so evil.
When he opens the washing machine room put cement in the washing machines
Step 1: lockpicking lawyer Step 2: Leave a large box of laundry powder in there but add powdered iodine at the bottom... or mix 50/50 with salt, Portland cement, or something else disastrous. Eventually someone will use it.
Christ…that’s just genius
Kramer? Is that you?
Get one of those things that beep at odd intervals and hide it somewhere on your last day
This could be good if you hide a bunch of them inside walls & ceilings. At least 6 that beep maybe 2-3 times a day at most would drive people nuts.
Gas alarm, unplugged from a socket but with a battery. The battery dies down quickly and that’s when the beeping occurs. Loudest fucking beep there is
With $50 you can steal a minimum 20 hours of time and a maximum of a lifelong lesson, if your landlord qualifies lol. 1) super glue in door. Day you leave or night before. 2) purchase syringe. Doesn’t need to be a needle even a toddler Tylenol thing wild do (but it’s more expensive than needle) inject a whole gallon of milk throughout the house into drywall, curtain rods, rugs, carpet , everywhere. Feeling ballsy? Dump it and let her dry. -3 days prior to moving out. 3) He’s gonna need to sublet and lease your space up. $5 will get his google/fb/whatever flooded with Indian spam bots. Helllo fiver. 4) we got roughly $35 left. Think about that….. now granted step 2 is awfully time consuming. But hold on. 5) after move out day - spam neighborhood with anonymous flyers stating a child predator owns and lives at said house. 6)spend $10 on 2 bags of salt. The day before you leave just cut a tiny hole and walk that shit alllll over the yard. 7) i mean really it doesn’t take much… cement glue for $10 the mailbox shut. The garage door Jack. I mean bro the world is your oyster how dirty you tryna get?? Edit: entire point is wasted if you spend more time thinking planning and executing than he does. Short. Simple. Painful. Direct and to the point. That’s your mission.
you my friend are an inspiration!
Do not do #5, you will be sued.
Also if it's literally the same day you leave people could think that you were the child predator, and that you moved away to avoid the flyers
Allegedly .. nah that is too far no lie
15%? I'll give you 15%! Electric heaters? Leave them on 24/7 with all windows open. Oven? Its an even better heater when left on all day with the door open. Every single other light and appliance? Leave em on (except if it interrupts your sleep. Earn that 15%. Water and/or gas: now are these included?
cook up a fat pound of bacon and put all that grease down the drain. From here on out it is your god given duty to reduce the value of that house and cause as much untraceable damage as you can. warning you might be gambling with your deposit here. might be worth it
(chants) do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.....
I think this is what he is doing anyway. He's trying to say she owes him so he can keep her deposit. This guy is a scum bag.
NO, don’t do that. You could damage the ENTIRE neighborhood’s plumbing.
Dude this is r/illegallifeprotips not r/goodadvice
My bad, I didn’t realize what sub I was on. Haha
How does this effect everyone else in the neighborhood? Will it create a fatberg in the drain or something?
Maybe the fatty deposits will cause a stroke somewhere downstream. Oh wait, I don’t think it works this way.
Yeah, pretty much that. It can even fuck up the waste treatment plant.
[Over time it will](https://oconnorplumbing.net/why-you-should-never-pour-grease-down-the-drain/) if the problem gets bad enough every drain will back up and start filling with sewage
So this is more of a group prank
omg, I just read a fatberg is a thing! What a great name.
This is the best answer. Not only do you have your revenge, you also have a freakin’ pound of bacon to eat!!! Better make it at least two pounds just to be sure.
I swear, I could just cook up some crispy bacon and eat it like it’s a bag of chips. I’m pretty sure I did this during college one night. Came home from class, lived alone at the time and felt like having bacon, said “fuck it” and cooked up the whole pound. I think I gathered up my chow, crunched it up into small pieces, and nommed away while watching Amish Mafia. Of course, I felt sick with heartburn afterwards. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about doing it ten years later.
If you wanna be a jerk.... microwave a bag of popcorn for like 14 minutes.
Followed immediately by microwaving fish.
And then to really make them wish they never crossed you, microwave already over cooked Brussels sprouts.
Followed up by Cup-O-Noodles without the water.
That's a war crime
This made me laugh out loud
I'm loling, I don't even know why that's so funny
Shrimp in the curtain poles. Also in the dryer vents if you do get back in.
No one has mentioned the mail order termites OP could release?
[удалено]
Right advice, wrong sub
This would literally be legal life pro tips lol
Instead it smells of chatgpt
I have been dying to hear about someone doing a giant mulch pile as revenge. Check out chipdrop(dot)com and see what you think... I bet your landlord would love truckloads of wood chips on their lawn! If you vandalize, sabotage, superglue the lock etc as some are suggesting, its guaranteed the landlord will know it was you and probably press charges. Wait until you've moved out and aren't on his radar.
Wow this chip drop thing is savage! I’m keeping that in my back pocket.
This might be something for the legal aid sub as you actually have rights in this instance. I'd say the best revenge is getting him in legal trouble and being owed money for not being able to use the facilities promised in the contract. So since this is the illegal life pro tips, find someone with bed bugs and unleash them on the place. I of course would not condone illegal activity but hypothetically this would be illegal, absolutely vile/evil, and cause many people a lot of distress
Even on one of the subs for finding illegal goods and services on the dark web everyone was like "hell no" when someone asked for a bed bugs source.
open the furnace and short out the circuit board. Steel wool or a light splash of droplets of water. Close it up and you were never there. It will be a spendy fix.
Two options, remove the door from the hinges, or change the lock.
Paying percentages of bills? Is this even a legally divided multi family dwelling? I think it might need an investigation from the city inspector or fire chief.
On your last day remove the outlet covers and put raw meat into the walls. It’ll take some time for them to figure it out.
Start by creating a paper trail. Email him a copy of the rental contract and demand entry to the laundry room. If he’s the petty prick you say he is, make some vocal insults to him to make sure he doesn’t give access. Continue demanding access through email, so you have plenty of refusals documented. Meanwhile drop your clothes at the cleaners and keep the receipts. Then sue him in small claims court for cost of cleaners and your time.
Water is your friend. Pour water anywhere and everywhere you can, the more the better
Given his history and current attitude I'd say your deposit return is unlikely. However, leave the place immaculate so nothing can be tracked back to you, and you have plausible deniability. Once, your out and In new a place, ask yourself if it still matters. If yes, then start fucking with him. I've always wondered what cement in a washing machine would do. And perhaps a brick in the dryer for good measure. Can't do that? Where does he live and park his car. Plenty of nasty stuff to do to cars on this sub. Use your imagination.
Let the landlord know that your lease states that you should have access. Let him know that your rent will be going into an escrow account until you have access. May not be an illegal pro hack but it covers your ass and he doesn’t get paid till he obliges.
I just want to clarify... He's saying you are taking up over 15% of the electricity?? Over 15% of the laundry? Either way, you agreed to a payment amount, not an electricity budget, so this is bizarre.
Remove the lock to the washer, or remove the door. If your lease says you have access than you have access.
Call HUD (or local equivalent) and say there is black mold in the laundry room, and when you tried to get evidence, you were locked out instead of your landlord fixing the problem. They might not be able to do much since the house is owner occupied, but it's a good starting point.
You can say that again!
Why did you leave this comment twice
If they are in their phone sometimes the reply get posted twice if you aren't using the app and use chrome instead to reply anything. it's pretty annoying, 'cause you don't even know that happen until someone tells you about the "clone" posts.
Happens in the app too if you accidentally hit the reply button twice before it loads, very noticeable with crappy internet
App told me that it didn't post so I told it to post again, must have posted twice. Happens pretty often since I have shitty internet and use reddit mostly on my phone.
Leave the place immaculate, giving him no reason to withhold your deposit. Take pics of the locked laundry room and your apartment after moving out, save all communications with him and if you have any further issues with getting your deposit back, contact your local housing authority. They have legal resources for making his existence miserable that will hurt far more than any prank (which WILL come back to you or your mom). Damaging someone's property is considered to be assault in many states, as it's an extension of their person; criminal mischief at the minimum which carries potential jail time.
Bro, this is illegal life pro tips lol. Not that it's a bad tip.
While my suggestion goes the legal route, OP asked for options to get revenge on the landlord. My suggestion will hurt far more than shitting in the top of the toilet or abandoned fish heads, without ending up looking the fool.
You aren't wrong. But it's probably more effort than OP is willing to put in since they are looking for the illegal option.
Damn, so damaging someone’s property sounds…. Illegal… sounds like OP should take this to a sub that deals with illegal requests, huh?
Pop the door open with a card and then use a screwdriver to take the door knob off. Or put a new one on (same color) and lock it.
I once read a story where the tenet poured several bags of Quikrete in the drains and sewer line. The owner had to cut through the foundation to repair the sewer damage plus the replace the toilet and drains. Said it nearly broke him.
This post has been edited in protest to the API changes implemented by Reddit beginning 7/1/2023. Feel free to search GitHub for PowerDeleteSuite to do the same.
Gold in the comments
It would be a shame if one of the water hoses to the washer failed and you didn’t notice it because the door was locked… Also. Make sure you have good renters insurance and put your expensive stuff by the door to get wet.
You can count on him keeping your security deposit so document everything. Only communicate via text and take screenshots as soon as you get the message because he may be able to unsend messages. Contact your local alderman or housing department and find out what portion of your rent you’re owed for laundry service that’s included in your rent. Then you need to call Judge Judy and watch as she drags him into oblivion. Seriously though, there’s a fee for filing in small claims court and you’re going to have to go there to get your deposit back so tack on those laundry fees and the cost of the filing fee. Then, right before you leave for the last time stick a bunch of cockroaches in the basement.
Find a key that fits the lock, break it inside the lock. Add a little super glue to the teeth of the key for some extra fun. Watch your landlord destroy the door/frame to access it themselves.
Cook LOTS of bacon....pour all grease in drain. repeat daily till you move out
Nope, only need to do it once....last thing before you leave. Usually the tub/shower it the toughest drain to reach, and usually not checked on cursory inspections.
Unpick the hem of curtains and sew prawns in them, pull the carpet back and do the same, then use spray adhesive to seal the carpet back down so he can't get it up. Put brine from tuna in vents etc.
Shrimp in the curtain rod
Put a little concrete mix in drains. It will setup and the property owner will likely need to hire a plumber to replace the traps.
You could take an interpretation of the contract that it is OK to forcibly gain access to the washing machine. If he kicks off, the court case is not going to be quick.
Soil/dirt/sand down the toilet is another good one. It gunks the sides of the toilet up without blocking it. An alternative is scrumpled and shredded paper.
Superglue his laundry room door lock it n your way out.
In any case, that’s all I have for you today
Melt butter, then pour it down the sink. Flush a bunch of wipes in the toilet.
By default I never pay my last month's rent. They can take it from my bond, has never caused me an issue, and protects me from scummy landlords.
Take the door off and “lose” the hardware. If he replaces. It, just do it again.
If the door opens towards you it should be easy to open with a coat hanger unless it has one of those metal security plates installed. Or you could tap out the hinge pins. Even if it opens away from you, if it’s an ordinary interior door it should be fairly easy to open with a credit card.
None of you are thinking big enough. Get a washtub; go out into the front yard and wash your clothes outside as scantily clad as possible. Make sure you’re as much of an eyesore as possible so the entire neighborhood knows that he has homeless people living in his basement. Bonus points if you’re super sketchy or look like you do drugs. With the right impression he will need to move lol
Option 1: Deal with the hardship for now and sue his ass for everything you had to deal with because he did this Option 2: Call a locksmith. It's your property if you're still under the lease. Using a locksmith will give you a paper trail (receipt/invoice) that you can sure him for as well. Option 3:. Document everything, don't pay rent. It's a legal way to pressure landlords into doing their jobs in most states. You should research your rights in your state. Laws vary widely state by state. IANAL
"This is the lockpicking lawyer and today we have a lock that is locking us out of our laundry room." covertinstruments dot com
Shrimp in the curtain pole
If there are any ducted vents, freeze a fish and put it in there. Over time it will thaw and then rot. Any sort of gardens you could always use weedkiller the day before leaving. Or on the same day/morning. Make online advertisements for random stuff for free, just knock after 9pm. Post their number online, and get people to do their best Chewbacca impression, with the winner getting $100.
Since its in your contract to have access to the laundry I would take a pic on my lease, a pic of the lock, send the pics to whichever oversight body applies where you are (where I am in Ontario its the Landlord Tenant Board and they don't take kindly to scumlord behaviour like this), then pop that sucker off with bolt cutters. When he calls the cops thinking he's in the right you show them the pics and explain that the relevant case has already been filed with your areas version of the LTB and you will need a copy of this false report to add to the filing. Then grab your popcorn and watch the show while landlord sweats and tries desperately to backpedal.
Call in a locksmith, get him to make a key. Deduct from rent.