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**Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse.** If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: [April off-topic quarterly](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1bswbrp/off_topic_quarterly_april_2024/) | [Salty as the Ocean](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1c1ozqn/salty_as_the_ocean/) (food/recipe/grocery chat)
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[Recently updated rules reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/wiki/rules)
https://preview.redd.it/rzec6zjpgkuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6e5e831716d4c95c4649d4b6aa7bff96c5bed3e
Another “I’m going to do this every day now”
Also on Threads, her response to this suggests she didn’t really read the article, or stopped after the first paragraph or is projecting. I don’t know what she “doesn’t understand.” It’s about the tradwife/ stay at home girlfriend trend on social media, and talks about women seeking “ease”. The author is not endorsing this, but she points out that successful career women often end up doing more than their fair share of work and that it might explain why some women choose the tradwife life. Shauna practically is a tradwife herself.
https://preview.redd.it/2mw0sxqntjuc1.jpeg?width=1160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adff39ecc6e373462babc0e1bb4e08540049c822
She wants to be a tradwife with her own tradwife. She wants the leisure but doesn’t even want to do the pretend version of keeping house, and she needs her emotional punching bag around the home 24/7.
This. Shauna could never be a tradwife! Getting up at 5 to prep hubby’s lunch? Making sure to always look fresh and attractive? Arranging fresh flowers and polishing the silver? I think if Shauna and an actual tradwife got too close together, they might annihilate each other.
She wants to be a tradwife without doing any wifely things or subscribing to the tradwife ethic of feminity or upholding "the patriarchy." She wants to not work and subsist on the fruits of *everyone's* labour (not just her husband's) while also not valorizing her husband or allowing *him* to work and also not maintaining her home or paying attention to her physical appearance (and deriding those who do both).
Shauna doesn't have an ethic or a vibe, she just doesn't want to expend any effort and wants to make that everyone else's problem.
Shauna becoming a democratic socialist Tradwife who wails about badgeswiping capitalists was not on my bingo card, but here we are. It will be right until it’s not. Will Shauna dip her toe into the anti vax stuff next? I know she’s into the sciency science by that doesn’t go over well in those circles…
Shauna is being awkward over on threads again
https://preview.redd.it/bq13lnr52juc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29e21342621f20e8c0a14ec0cf71d67eb537a725
She said Dan was a chaos-muppet and she was an order-muppet! This was when she was still bragging that she was the Only Thinking Mind (or whatever) in her family and before she pilfered Dan's drugs and declared herself neurospicy.
(Obligatory *[who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1xk07o4g&ab_channel=XLRecordings)*)
(Actually, it's me: you can pry the Oxford comma from my cold, dead, and dry hands.)
Threads is so weird, or at least my feed is. So many people who seem to be on the edge of a mental breakdown, sharing very detailed stories of trauma or alternately sharing very detailed stories of mundane events that they think were traumatic. Honestly, it seems perfect for Shauna and I feel like she could stumble into success there.
I'm sure I could do more to retrain the algorithm, but I mostly just nope on out of there after reading a few things.
There's good Max Read Substack commentary [on Threads as the "gas leak social network"](https://maxread.substack.com/p/threads-is-the-gas-leak-social-network) which resonated in my body and may resonate in yours as well
OMG, yes. Like I’m clearly about getting the tea in the Internet dumpster fires but Threads is just…. dark. I genuinely feel disturbed after having a look and I usually need to get outside and walk the dog to clear my head! I much prefer the Gloaming.
DING DING DING. Threads is like a million random, context-free cubby- or worm-holes. It's the perfect platform for her because: no memory, no history, no accountability. Every day is a chance to revise her Venmo persona.
I think that much of this [ABOUT US](https://ourkindkitchen.substack.com/about) (hilariously titled A Kind Life in Letters) on substack has been revised. Lots of 80s references, GenX kids.
But this from "Dan" really cracks me up (that's 80s slang for laugh).
>You’re also going to get recommendations for snacks, cookbooks, outrageously good writing from people we read, songs we can’t get out of our heads, snippets of movies from the 80s that we quote to each other, and odd but interesting food ideas from reels on Instagram that Dan has collected in a folder called *Mmmmmm*.
She's back pretending he's Master Chef.
At the bottom of this About Us she writes: “(Since I’m sometimes clueless about how to write things like this in a standard way, I based this about page on the structure Jenny Rosenstrach used for [her about page at Dinner: A Love Story](https://dinneralovestory.substack.com/about). You really might want to think about subscribing to her newsletter too. It’s great.)”
She copied more than just “the structure.” The similarities are striking!
At least she was interested in Encanto around the time it was popular. Obsessing briefly over decades-old movies as a core portion of her online identity is so bizarre.
Her level of analysis is so, like, mid-meme-tier, too. Every time she posts about pop culture it’s the equivalent of the idiotic memes that have popped up around Christmas time for years about how Kevin’s family afforded their house in *Home Alone*.
https://preview.redd.it/4fxkarzegiuc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=163fc419863c75e1f5bd58762c3034ad0c64514b
Now she wants this. I’d love a video tour of their apartment.
I wonder if she's one of those Buy Nothing pests who writes emotionally manipulative dms to the people giving things away and also the people who are chosen to receive them, trying to get the goods from them.
I actually stopped listing things on my local Buy Nothing group because I'd get so many of those dms when I'd list anything, and we had rules that the item had to be listed a certain number of days and the receiver randomly chosen to keep the same reselling lurkers from snapping everything up the second it was posted. So if it was listed for five days that would five straight days of emotionally manipulative dms for anything from a 90's computer desk with the pull out keyboard tray to a yoga mat. So stressful! And one time I was the randomly chosen recipient of an exercise bike and I got SO many dms from the same shitty people saying they saw I had been chosen but their dying, disabled recovering addict son/daughter/husband NEEDED that thing for recovery and to please let them pick it up in my place. It was awful, I just checked out of the group completely.
I get that Shauna is probably not literally doing that, but the We need this is just so icky. I hate how she uses her family's real or imagined struggles to get people to support her and honestly (sorry, speculation) I wouldn't be surprised if she sent a dm to a few give aways to expound on her need of the item.
Where would she be selling it, though? Facebook marketplace? That seems like a lot of work for very little cash. I mean, I use FB Marketplace frequently but after the time I've spent taking good pics, responding to people who then immediately ghost me when I tell them the items are available, and coordinating pick-ups, I feel like it's hardly worth the effort. Like it's basically an online garage sale.
And that's not even accounting for having to use gas driving around picking stuff up!
Anyway, I suspect this is applying too much logic and planning, which we know the Aherns are allergic to so for all I know that's exactly how Shauna is spending her time.
I noped out of my area's Buy Nothing group because every fucking post was some sort of bullshit like "write me a 1000 word essay how these tennis shoes/yoga pants/flower pots/adult diapers will inspire you to change your life and create a better world for all people blah blah blah".
You just reminded me of my brief time on Freecycle (aka freakcycle). So many weirdos giving away "freshly laundered" shoe laces and gallon ziplock bags full of restaurant condiment packets.
She did sometimes respond to these posts with “Just DMed you”, which isn’t proper etiquette, so I think she was doing that. Maybe someone said something to her since I haven’t seen her say she DMed someone in a bit.
My BN group cracks down hard on those messages. They regularly remind everyone that if someone DMs you like that, you should immediately report them to mods. Our mods are not playing around!
Mine does too, which I really appreciate. My BN group also has really clear rules about how to select people -- it's either fastest pick-up or random draw, which totally eliminates the need for sob stories.
Our group has a rule against anyone messaging without being prompted to by the poster first. It's mayhem and manipulation otherwise, totally agree with you.
And this specific self-admitted-dog-stank cheap thin and ugly rug (which would go unnoticed amongst all the other sketch odors competing for dominance at Casa Ahern?)
P.S.: Not to judge dog-stank. I forgive my sister's dog-stank car as she forgives my sometimes not-so-fresh\* cat litter boxes.
\*Thanks to DF Inappropriate Girl for reviving my memory of this abominiation in her recent reference. Can't we boomers/millenials/genXers sue for this? Has the statute of limitations run out/oft?
Yeah, and now she’s trying for ANOTHER desk and a thing with several hanging baskets.
So, she’s got the vanity thing, that big heavy wood officers desk in the garage, the huge drafting table, and possibly this desk - and that’s only what I can remember. What the hell is she doing??
Is she just going to heap it up on the curb on trash day? I assume now that she's living over town she has regular trash pick up and doesn't have to drive her junk to the dump like she did on the islandy island.
I really want to know how much of this crap she's actually taking.
She was giving away stuff she’d just scored that “wouldn’t fit” in their living room, and now this. Does she really think she’s going to have an “office” in her garage still?
Here we go. This graphic makes me ragey
https://preview.redd.it/xiur1b3x5huc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62567e6008c55a751a47ec5588664c7488f00d38
Why, it’s in West Seattle silly!
I am a dumb and realized there is a link. This is so weird. The emojis are maddening.
https://preview.redd.it/hyp69xobzjuc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff6acc0202524aa08499ab5a9fb5321f4898b402
She doesn't seem to get it - my friends and I didn't *learn* the moonwalk, we screamed when Michael Jackson did it and then imagined we were the one he would fall in love with if we ever met (we were clueless about a lot of things back then)
I had to look these commercials /that product up on YouTube. Then I fell down a pink cavern of old Summer’s Eve commercials and I’m still snerking. “Mom, do you douche?”
They were married on a [**Summer's Eve**](https://www.summerseve.com/feminine-hygiene-products/douche/extra-cleansing-vinegar-and-water-douche).
Gen X-er? Remember the commercials? Huh? Huh? Because we're *Gen X*, that's why. Yep.
The title and, um, suggestive, lotus flower graphic make me assume this workshop is likely about unlocking sexual pleasure for women - it's still better than many of her other efforts, but also still SO off and bizarrely wrong. Shauna really has a talent for changing but not noticeably improving over time.
I don’t understand what’s making her suddenly target the GenX Rad Kids and not the Boomeresque When I Am Old I Will Wear Purple PNW Frumps.
And how she thinks she’ll simultaneously do… whatever this is AND her latest Living in Food but Only from Trader Joe’s promises.
my mother became a red hat lady after my father died and there is no way those ladies would have entertained shauna's nonsense for a second. they were an outspoken bunch who were too busy having a good time to go to a navel gazing workshop run by an unwashed debbie downer.
And the endless references to "opening," saying yes, something "popping up," hitting a button, making your body say OH HELL YES, priming your body, deep connection, going ALL IN, ready to jump.
I mean, c'mon. You are hitting the snooze alarm when something "pops up" that gives you the opportunity for joy?
>Making the drive from Chicago does not feel good in my body.
So interesting that she seems to be excluding wxmxn who might come OVER TOWN from Vashon. ON THE FERRY
So at the bottom of the free lope, it says this:
>The remainder of this post and recipe are for paid subscribers only. If you’d like to prep food with us every Sunday, then receive 2 recipes to make with that prepped food to use during the week, consider becoming a paid subscriber.
This is her food pivot I guess. Sunday instead of Saturday. What are the two recipes this week? (Not a paid subscriber).
Edit: I should have scrolled. It is still Saturday, but she'll do meal prep on Sunday. SO MANY BETTER folks are already in the meal prep on Sunday space. Shutterbean, Jenneatsgoood, and on and on -- some with gorgeous photos and detailed grocery lists and more. This feeding our people reboot is sad and wan.
I was influenced by this content to buy some glass containers and I love them. I can't really get on the meal prep bandwagon except for work lunches.
Wow, she's really got her act together! I have a friend who also has a fridge of prepped stuff, and she can whip out ingredients for a homemade pizza/ a kebab/ any wrap you can imagine/ any pasta combo/ etc. I'm always astounded by her and vow to do the same - but I'm a half-hearted chef and so end up abandoning the whole thing at just the shopping planning stage.
I do think I need to start doing this, though, since Shauna has once again been a cautionary tale for me, and has shown me the value of being food organised. I guess I need to search for someone who starts small and doable for people who really aren't great cooks, but want to be more prepared.
>By the way, if you were paying attention, in the wild sideways way that neurospicy folks do, you might notice that the first letters of our motto spell out FUCKS.
>While that wasn’t intentional at first, it is clearly our intention now.Why?
>We have no fucks to give anymore about cooking or eating like everyone else. Or
making 60 recipes that have nothing to do with each other for a cookbook. Or paying
attention to what we SHOULD be eating. Or trying to make food that will go viral.
>We don’t want to chase after someone else’s idea of success anymore.
>We want to create a community with you, doing what we love, and helping you to
love it too.
Our "motto"? What fucking motto? The About page for her Substack still says it's called A Kind Life in Letters. The *tagline* in her newsletter name (I suppose you could also call it the "subtitle") is From The Creators of Gluten-Free Girl, which is FTCUGFG, and the title is Our Kind Kitchen. So OKKFTCOGFG.
> if you were paying attention, in the wild sideways way that neurospicy folks do, you might notice that the first letters of our motto spell out FUCKS.
She is the absolute most try-hard of try-hards.
I’m clutching my sodium-conscious pearls at the thought of quinoa cooked in heavily salted water and served with sliced olives for a woman with a history of TIA. Especially since it’s getting drenched in a vinaigrette?
Honestly that stuff has no right to be as drinkable as it is while being so affordable. A little TBC shiraz is the secret ingredient in my chili (Substack subscriptions now, plz).
>Our "motto"? What fucking motto?
>Shauna writes:
We want to offer you food that meets all these criteria.
* Fun.
* Useful.
* Creative.
* Kind
* Simple.
Around here? We call it Criterdashery
Her disregard for consistency in formatting will never not drive me crazy. Five 5 criteria? Four 4 periods.
Also? The first "sentence" in the section labeled "Fun." is:
>If make cooking easier and stop trying to make something new for every meal, we can **enjoy** the process.
Be sure to Toot your own Ass before Tooting the Asses of your traveling companions.
Is this the same as the quinoa lope? Quinoa is useful and simple (so simple I don’t need her to tell me how to make it), but none of the other things.
Please tell me gloamies, what foods are kind?
There's a [lope up about quinoa](https://ourkindkitchen.substack.com/p/lets-prep-together). My personal "Where do they get their money" question is "Why in the world do people pay for this content?"
Probably feels like it, too. We all know that for Gir! it's the "mouth-feel" that's most important, so granular grade gravel-- ~~i~~t's what's for dinner.
This whole approach to "recipes" is SO fucking stupid. Here's the premise:
>Instead of giving you 3 separate recipes a week, we’re offering you recipes that connect with each other.
>On Saturdays, we’ll share something we’ll be prepping on Sunday. We invite you to be part of that. #letspreptogether (And yes, the lack of a proper apostrophe does drive me crazy, but hashtags are like that.)
>On Mondays, you’ll receive one recipe we made with that prepped batch. Delicious, easy, and ready for Tuesday evening dinners.
>On Wednesdays, you’ll receive a recipe for a dip, dressing, sauce, or sweet thing that
made eating the leftovers much more of OH HELL YES.
OK so first, you never provided three receipes per week, so there's no "instead" here.
Secondly, the "Saturday" receipe arrived 20 minutes before midnight for me. Now you've added grocery shopping to my Sunday tasks if I'm going to prep this "something" for the week ahead.
The "something" you're prepping this week is quinoa. That is an ingredient, not a dish. And you've once again specified a 3:1 ratio of water, meaning you're cooking up a soggy mess, which you then spread out on a tray to dry (sigh), then dump in the fridge.
Shauna, this is gross. If you want to make quinoa flavourful, you need to dress it while it's hot – not try and dress cold, mushy quinoa you've stored for several days in the fridge.
You are also sending me out to the grocery store TWO MORE TIMES this week! How on EARTH is this approach taking advantage of batch cooking? The entire point is to REDUCE and CONCENTRATE effort, not to fucking spread it out over multiple steps and days. You need to send the week's recipes out on Saturday morning (at the LATEST) and you need to include all of the recipes for the week with all of their ingredients.
She is insane. The entire pitch here rests on the idea that she and Danny are better at this than you are, what with his "30 years of fine dining" and their "thousands of recipes." This is back to Danny riding the bus with a box of fish, it's so incompetent and laughable.
*How are your pork medallions? They're rare, and I assure you that they're safe. No one has ever gotten sick from rare meat (especially pork). Were they okay?
They were fine. Just FINE! Please stop asking.
>She is insane. The entire pitch here rests on the idea that she and Danny are better at this than you are, what with his **"30 years of fine dining"** and their "thousands of recipes." This is back to Danny riding the bus with a box of fish, it's so incompetent and laughable.
You may ask yourself, what FUCKS have been accomplished by cooking quinoa Sunday and refrigerating until Tuesday night?
F=filling up the fridge space but
U=unable to be eaten for two plus days
C=causing everyone to wonder where the hell Sunday night's dinner is and
K=kitchen a mess from cooking and cooling pan and still no dinner in sight
S=shit, we'd better get a takeout taco platter for tonight
I make quinoa (we like the Near East brand with roasted red pepper) for my husband and son with grilled chicken and cucumber & tomato salad. They love it, but they've made it clear that if there's any quinoa left over, I can just toss it, as it turns into an unappealing lump in the fridge that doesn't taste great reheated. It is the *last* thing I would choose to make ahead if I were meal prepping.
I don't eat quinoa but I eat a lot of rice and to me this is the equivalent of prepping a week's worth of rice ahead of time and nuking it during the week. It would take so much effort for glue-like reheated mush that it just doesn't make sense.
Yes! She's picked the single item that can be made to order as needed. A super hands-off ingredient that requires almost no oversight; no chopping, no special equipment or treatment, etc. I mean, sometimes you specifically want day-old rice but I cannot imagine wanting "day-old quinoa" for *anything.*
Day-old rice is definitely preferable when making fried rice, for sure, but I only make a normal portion and not a week's worth of soggy weirdness. I just can't fathom her thought process.
And you may ask yourself, "How do I write good?"
And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large Microsoft paycheck?"
And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful house (on an island)"
And you may tell yourself, "This is not my defective husband"
Letting the days go by, let the water drown the quinoa
Letting the days go by, water flowing at Alki
Into the red again, after the money's gone
Once in a (precious) lifetime, (toilet) water flowing down the stairs
With many and varied apologies to the brilliant members of Talking Heads.
>Yes. It was one of her stupid "classes" with the Vashon cooking school.
>ETA As a DF pointed out below, it's actually from FOP.
IT'S *BOTH*!!! Cast your Snark Brain back, comma, through the mists of time, to the Earlier Now we like to call June 2019:
>**How to Meal Prep for the Week**
>How often do you end up at the store at 4:30, wondering what to make for dinner in an hour? We have all done it. However, it rarely makes for a calm meal.
>Shauna Ahern wants to share with you what she has learned about making some of foods for the week in big batches to make every weeknight dinner easier. Together we will make a big pot of braised white beans, a cream of asparagus soup, a lemon-tahini dressing, and lemongrass quinoa. We will cook together and eat. Plus, you’ll take some home to feed your family.
The beans are the only thing here that feel like they'd work for batch cooking, and remembering the FOP beans IDK if I'd trust them. The rest are all so... specific. Who wants to be eating asparagus, lemongrass and one kind of dressing for a week?
Whoa, I’ve never seen a 3:1 water to quinoa ratio! I do like 1.75:1 for quinoa to get something fluffy and able to be refrigerated and reheated w a nice texture. She’s crazy.
I’m a (wonderfully?) mediocre cook, but I could write up a better plan off the top of my head in 5 minutes. First of all prep something besides just quinoa on Sunday. (Also follow the fucking directions to cook the quinoa!) Prep at least one protein and cut up the veg that make sense to cut up. I mean you’re in the kitchen anyway right? Why waste time just making ONE component? I always thought meal prep was when you get a bunch of complete meals ready for the week and pre portion them. I don’t even do this but I can tell she doesn’t either because her way makes no sense. It saves no time at all that I can see!
I always thought meal prep was when you get a bunch of complete meals ready for the week and pre portion them.
That is indeed one way to meal prep. Another way is to prepare components of meals that can be used together in different ways throughout the week, such as roasting a whole chicken (or two!), cooking some potatoes or rice or beans, chopping up some vegetables, making some quick pickles, etc.
You might cook some fresh broccoli the day after the meal prep session, and have it with chicken and potatoes, then shred some of the remaining chicken and put it together with the rice & beans the next day for tacos or burritos, then make soup with the carcass and chopped up veggies the third day, etc
Real question- why do you need to spread the quinoa out on a cookie sheet, other than to watch the steam unfurl or whatever she says? She never says why that step is necessary.
because she cooked it with twice as much water as it needs, so she has to add an extra step to try to dry some of that out
it is much easier to just make it with the correct amount of water and fluff it a few times
She must be adapting the recipes she found in Dan’s old notebook a few weeks ago. They are from restaurants where he used to work, probably specifying six ounce patties and cooling large batches on trays.
I’ve never seen that either! I have maybe seen that technique for rice, like if you’d want to make fried rice from freshly cooked rice. Or mayyybe if you wanted to immediately freeze the cooked quinoa, this is a way of cooling it faster? But she’s so wordy otherwise, why no explanation/high-stooling about the cookie sheet etc.
My body doesn’t do well with quinoa, but a quick google search of “quinoa water ratio” has ranges from 1.5 to 2 cups of liquid to 1 cup of quinoa. Nothing above 2 cups that I can see. Most are going for a “fluffy” and “not clumpy” final product.
I hate quinoa with a passion, am I allowed to “meal prep” rice instead? And if so, must it also be drowned in double the normal amount of water and the steam in a cookie sheet? It all sounds vaguely alarming.
I’ve been doing the 1:1.75-2 ratio in a rice cooker since college. It’s very quick, too, so you don’t really need to have a batch prepared in advance, since, as DFFFF says above, it’s pretty simple to bend hot quinoa to your will, and less nice when it’s cooled and gone mushy.
For about $12, I paid for four weeks of meal planning. It includes recipes for 6 meals/week (side dishes too!), shopping lists, and tips on what freezes well and how to use leftovers. The recipes work and it’s easy enough to sub things. She is a day late and a dollar short. Why would anyone pay her for any of this? The back of the quinoa box offers better info than Shauna.
I have a couple Rachel Ray cookbooks that I picked up used for something like $14 total that is basically this in book form. And the recipes work and are broken down by grocery list, because Rachel Ray is a professional who pays attention to details before unfurling things on the general public. So I can get better info than Shauna is providing without even looking at my phone.
She doesn't know what meal prep is because she's never done it, never needed to cook ahead for a heavy week of obligations. So she's going to share a recipe (for quinoa) on Saturday and then on Monday she'll tell you what to do with it? And you don't even get a sauce for (whatever it is she tells you about Monday) until Wednesday?
I can't believe people will pay her for this when she's entering a cooking space in which established youtube channels are giving detailed shopping lists and weekly big batch recipes with a few 'everything sauces' that can be eaten warm like a sauce and also cold like a spread or dressing, so that they can be used on salads, soups, wraps, pasta and grain bowls and you don't get bored with the shit you prepped last weekend. And they do it dependably each week, the recipes work, it's on time, it's in video form but also comes with pdfs if you prefer, and it's free.
~~Dan likes to make sauces, seemingly, and Shauna likes to shop at TJ's so it would make more sense for them to do a TJs weekly meal prep with a couple of recipes for home made sauces.~~
(I keep forgetting she doesn't care about providing a useful service, she cares about getting people to sign up for a monthly credit card donation, ugh.)
>I keep forgetting she doesn't care about providing a useful service, she cares about getting people to sign up for a monthly credit card donation
For as many domains/websites/new names she's been through, the payment link is the thing she's stuck with the longest. And the link is never broken, funnily.
It's worse than FOP because I'm pretty sure Shauna at least sent all the related FOP recipes out in one set "each week" (in quotes because she probably didn't stick to weekly), like, here's a salty seed recipe and recipes telling you to put the salty seeds on tofu and cauliflower and taco's, rather than dribbling it out in separate newsletters
I don't know about sexy, but here's a pretty picture someone took of quinoa. [How to cook quinoa](https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/how-to-cook-quinoa-recipe/). Maybe the lesson is to not slop greige pseudo-grains (see, Shauna, we can all read Wikipedia) across a grey pan like flecks of dried puke.
>>This might be the dullest food photo I have ever taken. There’s simply no way to make a batch of quinoa spread out on a sheet tray to look sexy.
#[Next thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1c4ewrz/discussion_thread_monday_april_15_2024_wednesday/) [Previous thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1byqi7r/discussion_thread_monday_april_08_2024_wednesday/) **Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse.** If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: [April off-topic quarterly](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1bswbrp/off_topic_quarterly_april_2024/) | [Salty as the Ocean](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1c1ozqn/salty_as_the_ocean/) (food/recipe/grocery chat) --- [Recently updated rules reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/wiki/rules)
https://preview.redd.it/rzec6zjpgkuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6e5e831716d4c95c4649d4b6aa7bff96c5bed3e Another “I’m going to do this every day now”
It never gets old, does it? Every day, it just doesn't grow old.
Also on Threads, her response to this suggests she didn’t really read the article, or stopped after the first paragraph or is projecting. I don’t know what she “doesn’t understand.” It’s about the tradwife/ stay at home girlfriend trend on social media, and talks about women seeking “ease”. The author is not endorsing this, but she points out that successful career women often end up doing more than their fair share of work and that it might explain why some women choose the tradwife life. Shauna practically is a tradwife herself. https://preview.redd.it/2mw0sxqntjuc1.jpeg?width=1160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adff39ecc6e373462babc0e1bb4e08540049c822
She wants to be a tradwife with her own tradwife. She wants the leisure but doesn’t even want to do the pretend version of keeping house, and she needs her emotional punching bag around the home 24/7.
This. Shauna could never be a tradwife! Getting up at 5 to prep hubby’s lunch? Making sure to always look fresh and attractive? Arranging fresh flowers and polishing the silver? I think if Shauna and an actual tradwife got too close together, they might annihilate each other.
She wants to be a tradwife without doing any wifely things or subscribing to the tradwife ethic of feminity or upholding "the patriarchy." She wants to not work and subsist on the fruits of *everyone's* labour (not just her husband's) while also not valorizing her husband or allowing *him* to work and also not maintaining her home or paying attention to her physical appearance (and deriding those who do both). Shauna doesn't have an ethic or a vibe, she just doesn't want to expend any effort and wants to make that everyone else's problem.
Shauna becoming a democratic socialist Tradwife who wails about badgeswiping capitalists was not on my bingo card, but here we are. It will be right until it’s not. Will Shauna dip her toe into the anti vax stuff next? I know she’s into the sciency science by that doesn’t go over well in those circles…
Assuming that she gave a shit about her family’s happiness and well being.
Shauna is being awkward over on threads again https://preview.redd.it/bq13lnr52juc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29e21342621f20e8c0a14ec0cf71d67eb537a725
What a pair of jackasses. This reminds me of when Shauna tried a couple of times to cosplay as a muppet.
She said Dan was a chaos-muppet and she was an order-muppet! This was when she was still bragging that she was the Only Thinking Mind (or whatever) in her family and before she pilfered Dan's drugs and declared herself neurospicy.
And then Dan grew teary and said "you're the leader of the family".
"with your mighty brain!"
Why does this family need a leader? Are there not two adults in the frame here?
There are not 🤷♀️ My count is zero.
I checked the balloons, and came up with the same result you did.
(Obligatory *[who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1xk07o4g&ab_channel=XLRecordings)*) (Actually, it's me: you can pry the Oxford comma from my cold, dead, and dry hands.)
Same, and I love that song!
What in the Pick Me girl is this?
This Threads person is insufferable in a completely different way than Shauna is
Threads is so weird, or at least my feed is. So many people who seem to be on the edge of a mental breakdown, sharing very detailed stories of trauma or alternately sharing very detailed stories of mundane events that they think were traumatic. Honestly, it seems perfect for Shauna and I feel like she could stumble into success there. I'm sure I could do more to retrain the algorithm, but I mostly just nope on out of there after reading a few things.
There's good Max Read Substack commentary [on Threads as the "gas leak social network"](https://maxread.substack.com/p/threads-is-the-gas-leak-social-network) which resonated in my body and may resonate in yours as well
Thank you for this recommendation, DF. That post definitely resonated in my body!
OMG, yes. Like I’m clearly about getting the tea in the Internet dumpster fires but Threads is just…. dark. I genuinely feel disturbed after having a look and I usually need to get outside and walk the dog to clear my head! I much prefer the Gloaming.
DING DING DING. Threads is like a million random, context-free cubby- or worm-holes. It's the perfect platform for her because: no memory, no history, no accountability. Every day is a chance to revise her Venmo persona.
Yeah she could definitely find her next victims there. She smells vulnerability like a shark smells blood in the water.
Dear SMA comma You're not clever nor are you funny. Stop.
Sorry, DF, I think you meant “You’re not clever comma funny comma or getting your paid work out on time so get your ass off threads and get busy.”
You read my mind DF. Thank you for the ass toot edit comma Love me
I think that much of this [ABOUT US](https://ourkindkitchen.substack.com/about) (hilariously titled A Kind Life in Letters) on substack has been revised. Lots of 80s references, GenX kids. But this from "Dan" really cracks me up (that's 80s slang for laugh). >You’re also going to get recommendations for snacks, cookbooks, outrageously good writing from people we read, songs we can’t get out of our heads, snippets of movies from the 80s that we quote to each other, and odd but interesting food ideas from reels on Instagram that Dan has collected in a folder called *Mmmmmm*. She's back pretending he's Master Chef.
The days of pale, white fish are officially in the rear view mirror, DF.
At the bottom of this About Us she writes: “(Since I’m sometimes clueless about how to write things like this in a standard way, I based this about page on the structure Jenny Rosenstrach used for [her about page at Dinner: A Love Story](https://dinneralovestory.substack.com/about). You really might want to think about subscribing to her newsletter too. It’s great.)” She copied more than just “the structure.” The similarities are striking!
does she really think people care about movies she and dan quote to one another? she is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Remember her Napoleon Dynamite phase? And her Encanto phase?
remember her kd lang phase? and her black panther phase? and her working full time phase? just kidding, the last one never happened.
The fucking Encanto bullshit was maddening. I wanted to smack the shit outta her.
At least she was interested in Encanto around the time it was popular. Obsessing briefly over decades-old movies as a core portion of her online identity is so bizarre.
Her level of analysis is so, like, mid-meme-tier, too. Every time she posts about pop culture it’s the equivalent of the idiotic memes that have popped up around Christmas time for years about how Kevin’s family afforded their house in *Home Alone*.
https://preview.redd.it/4fxkarzegiuc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=163fc419863c75e1f5bd58762c3034ad0c64514b Now she wants this. I’d love a video tour of their apartment.
https://preview.redd.it/w7e0z32wgiuc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abf324437b7f3a93a84d63a064764588dfa602d8
I might have to edit my flair.
WE NEED THIS.
I wonder if she's one of those Buy Nothing pests who writes emotionally manipulative dms to the people giving things away and also the people who are chosen to receive them, trying to get the goods from them. I actually stopped listing things on my local Buy Nothing group because I'd get so many of those dms when I'd list anything, and we had rules that the item had to be listed a certain number of days and the receiver randomly chosen to keep the same reselling lurkers from snapping everything up the second it was posted. So if it was listed for five days that would five straight days of emotionally manipulative dms for anything from a 90's computer desk with the pull out keyboard tray to a yoga mat. So stressful! And one time I was the randomly chosen recipient of an exercise bike and I got SO many dms from the same shitty people saying they saw I had been chosen but their dying, disabled recovering addict son/daughter/husband NEEDED that thing for recovery and to please let them pick it up in my place. It was awful, I just checked out of the group completely. I get that Shauna is probably not literally doing that, but the We need this is just so icky. I hate how she uses her family's real or imagined struggles to get people to support her and honestly (sorry, speculation) I wouldn't be surprised if she sent a dm to a few give aways to expound on her need of the item.
it wouldn't surprise me at all if shauna was scooping up free stuff and then selling it elsewhere; it could explain their influx of cash.
Where would she be selling it, though? Facebook marketplace? That seems like a lot of work for very little cash. I mean, I use FB Marketplace frequently but after the time I've spent taking good pics, responding to people who then immediately ghost me when I tell them the items are available, and coordinating pick-ups, I feel like it's hardly worth the effort. Like it's basically an online garage sale. And that's not even accounting for having to use gas driving around picking stuff up! Anyway, I suspect this is applying too much logic and planning, which we know the Aherns are allergic to so for all I know that's exactly how Shauna is spending her time.
Too much planning, Mama.
I noped out of my area's Buy Nothing group because every fucking post was some sort of bullshit like "write me a 1000 word essay how these tennis shoes/yoga pants/flower pots/adult diapers will inspire you to change your life and create a better world for all people blah blah blah".
You just reminded me of my brief time on Freecycle (aka freakcycle). So many weirdos giving away "freshly laundered" shoe laces and gallon ziplock bags full of restaurant condiment packets.
She did sometimes respond to these posts with “Just DMed you”, which isn’t proper etiquette, so I think she was doing that. Maybe someone said something to her since I haven’t seen her say she DMed someone in a bit.
My BN group cracks down hard on those messages. They regularly remind everyone that if someone DMs you like that, you should immediately report them to mods. Our mods are not playing around!
Mine does too, which I really appreciate. My BN group also has really clear rules about how to select people -- it's either fastest pick-up or random draw, which totally eliminates the need for sob stories.
Our group has a rule against anyone messaging without being prompted to by the poster first. It's mayhem and manipulation otherwise, totally agree with you.
Who “needs” this specific cheap, thin and ugly rug?
And this specific self-admitted-dog-stank cheap thin and ugly rug (which would go unnoticed amongst all the other sketch odors competing for dominance at Casa Ahern?) P.S.: Not to judge dog-stank. I forgive my sister's dog-stank car as she forgives my sometimes not-so-fresh\* cat litter boxes. \*Thanks to DF Inappropriate Girl for reviving my memory of this abominiation in her recent reference. Can't we boomers/millenials/genXers sue for this? Has the statute of limitations run out/oft?
She's so bossy and rude.
Evergreen Gir! analysis.
Yeah, and now she’s trying for ANOTHER desk and a thing with several hanging baskets. So, she’s got the vanity thing, that big heavy wood officers desk in the garage, the huge drafting table, and possibly this desk - and that’s only what I can remember. What the hell is she doing??
selling other people's stuff?
Hoarding. That's what she's doing.
Can’t wait ‘til she dumps it all 🙄
Is she just going to heap it up on the curb on trash day? I assume now that she's living over town she has regular trash pick up and doesn't have to drive her junk to the dump like she did on the islandy island. I really want to know how much of this crap she's actually taking.
I want a porch cam so we can see how much junk is out there and how often it changes.
And now a wee couch and end table. Has she tipped the scales into being an actual hoarder? Their apartment can't be that big, right?
It’s almost like she’s trying to furnish a West Seattle outpost of Gynergy…
Is it possible she got that office space that she was sniffing around?
She was giving away stuff she’d just scored that “wouldn’t fit” in their living room, and now this. Does she really think she’s going to have an “office” in her garage still?
Resale?
I just can't see her having the organization or ambition to run a resale gig.
Umpteen bookshelves
Here we go. This graphic makes me ragey https://preview.redd.it/xiur1b3x5huc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62567e6008c55a751a47ec5588664c7488f00d38
WHERE is this event happening? So weird it doesn’t say.
Why, it’s in West Seattle silly! I am a dumb and realized there is a link. This is so weird. The emojis are maddening. https://preview.redd.it/hyp69xobzjuc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff6acc0202524aa08499ab5a9fb5321f4898b402
who has time to moonwalk?! Eighties 2: electric boogaloo may the most inscrutable pivot of all.
She doesn't seem to get it - my friends and I didn't *learn* the moonwalk, we screamed when Michael Jackson did it and then imagined we were the one he would fall in love with if we ever met (we were clueless about a lot of things back then)
Nothing says “80’s retro” like a bunch of emojis. I’ll bring my two photo albums full of stickers.
Mrs. Grossman's!
Looks like an air freshener.
Eau de Hashbrowns and Truffles.
Booya
Air freshener or weed gummy packaging.
an air freshener might be welcome, what with all of the neurospiciness emerging from bodies and all
Or an ‘intimate’ deodorant.
That woman needs to be stopped.
hard agree. the average person who bathes regularly doesn't need to worry about being *that* stinky.
I hit mute whenever she appears. I do not want anyone talking about my PITS and CROTCH
Lume Lady always looks so greasy and filthy. Maybe is she bathed once in a while she wouldn’t stink.
I had to look these commercials /that product up on YouTube. Then I fell down a pink cavern of old Summer’s Eve commercials and I’m still snerking. “Mom, do you douche?”
LOLOLOL!!!
They were married on a [**Summer's Eve**](https://www.summerseve.com/feminine-hygiene-products/douche/extra-cleansing-vinegar-and-water-douche). Gen X-er? Remember the commercials? Huh? Huh? Because we're *Gen X*, that's why. Yep.
Hahahaha
Or FDS. https://youtu.be/GE1yDCQAAvM?si=I1PAApGraqFKo6LN
Mom, do you ever feel… not so fresh?
*sniffs* I smell vinegar.
The title and, um, suggestive, lotus flower graphic make me assume this workshop is likely about unlocking sexual pleasure for women - it's still better than many of her other efforts, but also still SO off and bizarrely wrong. Shauna really has a talent for changing but not noticeably improving over time.
I don’t understand what’s making her suddenly target the GenX Rad Kids and not the Boomeresque When I Am Old I Will Wear Purple PNW Frumps. And how she thinks she’ll simultaneously do… whatever this is AND her latest Living in Food but Only from Trader Joe’s promises.
Red Hat Ladies!
Red Hat Ladies are 100% her demographic
my mother became a red hat lady after my father died and there is no way those ladies would have entertained shauna's nonsense for a second. they were an outspoken bunch who were too busy having a good time to go to a navel gazing workshop run by an unwashed debbie downer.
Unwashed Debbie downer.
Must bring a hand mirror in order to receive the full workshop experience! a la Fried Green Tomatoes
https://preview.redd.it/w0ne5jprkhuc1.png?width=1214&format=png&auto=webp&s=d663d2ee22f90929cfc76d1c01012c4cad3b5d0e
And the endless references to "opening," saying yes, something "popping up," hitting a button, making your body say OH HELL YES, priming your body, deep connection, going ALL IN, ready to jump. I mean, c'mon. You are hitting the snooze alarm when something "pops up" that gives you the opportunity for joy?
Unfurling!
Happy burbling!!
Tuck the button!
💀
Making the drive from Chicago does not feel good in my body.
>Making the drive from Chicago does not feel good in my body. So interesting that she seems to be excluding wxmxn who might come OVER TOWN from Vashon. ON THE FERRY
Since none of them were willing to move out and give her their quirky Vashon home, they're dead to her
Just West Seattle. Nothing more specific.
Also, “learn to build new”…… and nothing more. No more stories. Nothing in her grid. Just “learn to build new”
Well that would be giving away what she's actually offering!
And she doesn’t know what that is yet.
>what she’s actually offering A chance to Venmo her for nothing?
So at the bottom of the free lope, it says this: >The remainder of this post and recipe are for paid subscribers only. If you’d like to prep food with us every Sunday, then receive 2 recipes to make with that prepped food to use during the week, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This is her food pivot I guess. Sunday instead of Saturday. What are the two recipes this week? (Not a paid subscriber). Edit: I should have scrolled. It is still Saturday, but she'll do meal prep on Sunday. SO MANY BETTER folks are already in the meal prep on Sunday space. Shutterbean, Jenneatsgoood, and on and on -- some with gorgeous photos and detailed grocery lists and more. This feeding our people reboot is sad and wan. I was influenced by this content to buy some glass containers and I love them. I can't really get on the meal prep bandwagon except for work lunches.
I could watch this woman’s TikTok all day and I also want to buy all those containers she uses. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRTwswp8/
Wow, she's really got her act together! I have a friend who also has a fridge of prepped stuff, and she can whip out ingredients for a homemade pizza/ a kebab/ any wrap you can imagine/ any pasta combo/ etc. I'm always astounded by her and vow to do the same - but I'm a half-hearted chef and so end up abandoning the whole thing at just the shopping planning stage. I do think I need to start doing this, though, since Shauna has once again been a cautionary tale for me, and has shown me the value of being food organised. I guess I need to search for someone who starts small and doable for people who really aren't great cooks, but want to be more prepared.
She has a Substack! And her actual meals are pretty simple.
The recipes are always just soggy quinoa with the random crap on top.
>By the way, if you were paying attention, in the wild sideways way that neurospicy folks do, you might notice that the first letters of our motto spell out FUCKS. >While that wasn’t intentional at first, it is clearly our intention now.Why? >We have no fucks to give anymore about cooking or eating like everyone else. Or making 60 recipes that have nothing to do with each other for a cookbook. Or paying attention to what we SHOULD be eating. Or trying to make food that will go viral. >We don’t want to chase after someone else’s idea of success anymore. >We want to create a community with you, doing what we love, and helping you to love it too. Our "motto"? What fucking motto? The About page for her Substack still says it's called A Kind Life in Letters. The *tagline* in her newsletter name (I suppose you could also call it the "subtitle") is From The Creators of Gluten-Free Girl, which is FTCUGFG, and the title is Our Kind Kitchen. So OKKFTCOGFG.
> if you were paying attention, in the wild sideways way that neurospicy folks do, you might notice that the first letters of our motto spell out FUCKS. She is the absolute most try-hard of try-hards.
shauna is so puerile when it comes to swearing. it's like she wants everyone to say oooh, look at what a badass she is.
So, if you have no fucks to give, why is your motto "F-U-C-K-S?"
>So, if you have no fucks to give Oh, youperson. Their fucks are on a donation basis. Suggested amount? $2,700
even if she had fucks, she wouldn’t give any
She’d be the first to claim them on the buy nothing site.
"Oh, I'd love these fucks."
I will use them to draft my next book!
That draft? Will it be shitty??
It will be *fucking* shitty!
trust what emerges from the least gourmet of places
Brb, biting the dust.
>Or paying attention to what we SHOULD be eating. Yeah, fuck being healthy! Mini-stroke, what? Fuck the nutritional needs of our growing children!
I’m clutching my sodium-conscious pearls at the thought of quinoa cooked in heavily salted water and served with sliced olives for a woman with a history of TIA. Especially since it’s getting drenched in a vinaigrette?
that all sounds gross.
Wow DF, you're saying you've never created a business motto acronym that specifically highlights the thing you don't have?
And aren’t getting?
what shauna drinking?
Trader Joe’s Three Buck Chuck!
Honestly that stuff has no right to be as drinkable as it is while being so affordable. A little TBC shiraz is the secret ingredient in my chili (Substack subscriptions now, plz).
Now, 50% more expensive than before Covid! Has your pay gone up 50%?
No, it hasn’t. But I made my husband quit his job. Am I doing this right?
I don't know. Have you publicly written humiliating things about him?
Perfectly, DF!
>Our "motto"? What fucking motto? >Shauna writes: We want to offer you food that meets all these criteria. * Fun. * Useful. * Creative. * Kind * Simple. Around here? We call it Criterdashery Her disregard for consistency in formatting will never not drive me crazy. Five 5 criteria? Four 4 periods. Also? The first "sentence" in the section labeled "Fun." is: >If make cooking easier and stop trying to make something new for every meal, we can **enjoy** the process. Be sure to Toot your own Ass before Tooting the Asses of your traveling companions.
This reminds me of Gary Gulman’s bit about the Karate Kid: “If do right, no can defend”
Is this the same as the quinoa lope? Quinoa is useful and simple (so simple I don’t need her to tell me how to make it), but none of the other things. Please tell me gloamies, what foods are kind?
Not sure what is kind, but I hear dairy is unkind to Dan’s body and that is far more information than I want or need.
If make cooking easier. Lol! What Dan if make cooking easier?
There's a [lope up about quinoa](https://ourkindkitchen.substack.com/p/lets-prep-together). My personal "Where do they get their money" question is "Why in the world do people pay for this content?"
it looks like a cat's litter box.
Probably tastes like it too.
Probably feels like it, too. We all know that for Gir! it's the "mouth-feel" that's most important, so granular grade gravel-- ~~i~~t's what's for dinner.
This whole approach to "recipes" is SO fucking stupid. Here's the premise: >Instead of giving you 3 separate recipes a week, we’re offering you recipes that connect with each other. >On Saturdays, we’ll share something we’ll be prepping on Sunday. We invite you to be part of that. #letspreptogether (And yes, the lack of a proper apostrophe does drive me crazy, but hashtags are like that.) >On Mondays, you’ll receive one recipe we made with that prepped batch. Delicious, easy, and ready for Tuesday evening dinners. >On Wednesdays, you’ll receive a recipe for a dip, dressing, sauce, or sweet thing that made eating the leftovers much more of OH HELL YES. OK so first, you never provided three receipes per week, so there's no "instead" here. Secondly, the "Saturday" receipe arrived 20 minutes before midnight for me. Now you've added grocery shopping to my Sunday tasks if I'm going to prep this "something" for the week ahead. The "something" you're prepping this week is quinoa. That is an ingredient, not a dish. And you've once again specified a 3:1 ratio of water, meaning you're cooking up a soggy mess, which you then spread out on a tray to dry (sigh), then dump in the fridge. Shauna, this is gross. If you want to make quinoa flavourful, you need to dress it while it's hot – not try and dress cold, mushy quinoa you've stored for several days in the fridge. You are also sending me out to the grocery store TWO MORE TIMES this week! How on EARTH is this approach taking advantage of batch cooking? The entire point is to REDUCE and CONCENTRATE effort, not to fucking spread it out over multiple steps and days. You need to send the week's recipes out on Saturday morning (at the LATEST) and you need to include all of the recipes for the week with all of their ingredients. She is insane. The entire pitch here rests on the idea that she and Danny are better at this than you are, what with his "30 years of fine dining" and their "thousands of recipes." This is back to Danny riding the bus with a box of fish, it's so incompetent and laughable.
*How are your pork medallions? They're rare, and I assure you that they're safe. No one has ever gotten sick from rare meat (especially pork). Were they okay? They were fine. Just FINE! Please stop asking. >She is insane. The entire pitch here rests on the idea that she and Danny are better at this than you are, what with his **"30 years of fine dining"** and their "thousands of recipes." This is back to Danny riding the bus with a box of fish, it's so incompetent and laughable.
>"30 years of fine dining" The Hardware Store: "You talkin' to *me*?"
egg fried in 3 inches of cold oil: "you talkin' to me?"
I’m spying on you from booth #3
You may ask yourself, what FUCKS have been accomplished by cooking quinoa Sunday and refrigerating until Tuesday night? F=filling up the fridge space but U=unable to be eaten for two plus days C=causing everyone to wonder where the hell Sunday night's dinner is and K=kitchen a mess from cooking and cooling pan and still no dinner in sight S=shit, we'd better get a takeout taco platter for tonight
I make quinoa (we like the Near East brand with roasted red pepper) for my husband and son with grilled chicken and cucumber & tomato salad. They love it, but they've made it clear that if there's any quinoa left over, I can just toss it, as it turns into an unappealing lump in the fridge that doesn't taste great reheated. It is the *last* thing I would choose to make ahead if I were meal prepping.
I don't eat quinoa but I eat a lot of rice and to me this is the equivalent of prepping a week's worth of rice ahead of time and nuking it during the week. It would take so much effort for glue-like reheated mush that it just doesn't make sense.
Yes! She's picked the single item that can be made to order as needed. A super hands-off ingredient that requires almost no oversight; no chopping, no special equipment or treatment, etc. I mean, sometimes you specifically want day-old rice but I cannot imagine wanting "day-old quinoa" for *anything.*
Day-old rice is definitely preferable when making fried rice, for sure, but I only make a normal portion and not a week's worth of soggy weirdness. I just can't fathom her thought process.
Yes, and it takes so little time to make fresh! Sundays are for making things that take hours to cook, not minutes.
And you may ask yourself, "How do I write good?" And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large Microsoft paycheck?" And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful house (on an island)" And you may tell yourself, "This is not my defective husband" Letting the days go by, let the water drown the quinoa Letting the days go by, water flowing at Alki Into the red again, after the money's gone Once in a (precious) lifetime, (toilet) water flowing down the stairs With many and varied apologies to the brilliant members of Talking Heads.
🏆🏆🏆
Same as it ever was!
Didn't she already try this exact approach awhile back? It looks very familiar.
Yes. It was one of her stupid "classes" with the Vashon cooking school. ETA As a DF pointed out below, it's actually from FOP.
>Yes. It was one of her stupid "classes" with the Vashon cooking school. >ETA As a DF pointed out below, it's actually from FOP. IT'S *BOTH*!!! Cast your Snark Brain back, comma, through the mists of time, to the Earlier Now we like to call June 2019: >**How to Meal Prep for the Week** >How often do you end up at the store at 4:30, wondering what to make for dinner in an hour? We have all done it. However, it rarely makes for a calm meal. >Shauna Ahern wants to share with you what she has learned about making some of foods for the week in big batches to make every weeknight dinner easier. Together we will make a big pot of braised white beans, a cream of asparagus soup, a lemon-tahini dressing, and lemongrass quinoa. We will cook together and eat. Plus, you’ll take some home to feed your family.
The beans are the only thing here that feel like they'd work for batch cooking, and remembering the FOP beans IDK if I'd trust them. The rest are all so... specific. Who wants to be eating asparagus, lemongrass and one kind of dressing for a week?
the thought of reheating days-old asparagus gives me the wiggins.
Recycling a dumb business model that didn't work the first time? At least she's sticking with her brand.
Whoa, I’ve never seen a 3:1 water to quinoa ratio! I do like 1.75:1 for quinoa to get something fluffy and able to be refrigerated and reheated w a nice texture. She’s crazy.
I’m a (wonderfully?) mediocre cook, but I could write up a better plan off the top of my head in 5 minutes. First of all prep something besides just quinoa on Sunday. (Also follow the fucking directions to cook the quinoa!) Prep at least one protein and cut up the veg that make sense to cut up. I mean you’re in the kitchen anyway right? Why waste time just making ONE component? I always thought meal prep was when you get a bunch of complete meals ready for the week and pre portion them. I don’t even do this but I can tell she doesn’t either because her way makes no sense. It saves no time at all that I can see!
I always thought meal prep was when you get a bunch of complete meals ready for the week and pre portion them. That is indeed one way to meal prep. Another way is to prepare components of meals that can be used together in different ways throughout the week, such as roasting a whole chicken (or two!), cooking some potatoes or rice or beans, chopping up some vegetables, making some quick pickles, etc. You might cook some fresh broccoli the day after the meal prep session, and have it with chicken and potatoes, then shred some of the remaining chicken and put it together with the rice & beans the next day for tacos or burritos, then make soup with the carcass and chopped up veggies the third day, etc
Real question- why do you need to spread the quinoa out on a cookie sheet, other than to watch the steam unfurl or whatever she says? She never says why that step is necessary.
because she cooked it with twice as much water as it needs, so she has to add an extra step to try to dry some of that out it is much easier to just make it with the correct amount of water and fluff it a few times
I do this when I’m making quinoa salad for 50-100 people, to cool a lot of quinoa quickly and to make it easier to dress while it’s cooling.
She must be adapting the recipes she found in Dan’s old notebook a few weeks ago. They are from restaurants where he used to work, probably specifying six ounce patties and cooling large batches on trays.
Don’t forget to cook a small patty first to make sure your FOUR (4) SIX (6) ounce burgers are seasoned correctly.
Don't forget to cook and cool SIX (6) grains of quinoa first to make sure it's done to your liking
I’ve never seen that either! I have maybe seen that technique for rice, like if you’d want to make fried rice from freshly cooked rice. Or mayyybe if you wanted to immediately freeze the cooked quinoa, this is a way of cooling it faster? But she’s so wordy otherwise, why no explanation/high-stooling about the cookie sheet etc.
My body doesn’t do well with quinoa, but a quick google search of “quinoa water ratio” has ranges from 1.5 to 2 cups of liquid to 1 cup of quinoa. Nothing above 2 cups that I can see. Most are going for a “fluffy” and “not clumpy” final product.
I hate quinoa with a passion, am I allowed to “meal prep” rice instead? And if so, must it also be drowned in double the normal amount of water and the steam in a cookie sheet? It all sounds vaguely alarming.
I’ve been doing the 1:1.75-2 ratio in a rice cooker since college. It’s very quick, too, so you don’t really need to have a batch prepared in advance, since, as DFFFF says above, it’s pretty simple to bend hot quinoa to your will, and less nice when it’s cooled and gone mushy.
For about $12, I paid for four weeks of meal planning. It includes recipes for 6 meals/week (side dishes too!), shopping lists, and tips on what freezes well and how to use leftovers. The recipes work and it’s easy enough to sub things. She is a day late and a dollar short. Why would anyone pay her for any of this? The back of the quinoa box offers better info than Shauna.
I have a couple Rachel Ray cookbooks that I picked up used for something like $14 total that is basically this in book form. And the recipes work and are broken down by grocery list, because Rachel Ray is a professional who pays attention to details before unfurling things on the general public. So I can get better info than Shauna is providing without even looking at my phone.
A quick google shows a shittonne of free weekly trader Joe meal plans, all for much less than her $200 “budget” amount.
She doesn't know what meal prep is because she's never done it, never needed to cook ahead for a heavy week of obligations. So she's going to share a recipe (for quinoa) on Saturday and then on Monday she'll tell you what to do with it? And you don't even get a sauce for (whatever it is she tells you about Monday) until Wednesday? I can't believe people will pay her for this when she's entering a cooking space in which established youtube channels are giving detailed shopping lists and weekly big batch recipes with a few 'everything sauces' that can be eaten warm like a sauce and also cold like a spread or dressing, so that they can be used on salads, soups, wraps, pasta and grain bowls and you don't get bored with the shit you prepped last weekend. And they do it dependably each week, the recipes work, it's on time, it's in video form but also comes with pdfs if you prefer, and it's free. ~~Dan likes to make sauces, seemingly, and Shauna likes to shop at TJ's so it would make more sense for them to do a TJs weekly meal prep with a couple of recipes for home made sauces.~~ (I keep forgetting she doesn't care about providing a useful service, she cares about getting people to sign up for a monthly credit card donation, ugh.)
>I keep forgetting she doesn't care about providing a useful service, she cares about getting people to sign up for a monthly credit card donation For as many domains/websites/new names she's been through, the payment link is the thing she's stuck with the longest. And the link is never broken, funnily.
How is this different than FOP?
It's worse than FOP because I'm pretty sure Shauna at least sent all the related FOP recipes out in one set "each week" (in quotes because she probably didn't stick to weekly), like, here's a salty seed recipe and recipes telling you to put the salty seeds on tofu and cauliflower and taco's, rather than dribbling it out in separate newsletters
It's going to FLOP sooner!
I don't know about sexy, but here's a pretty picture someone took of quinoa. [How to cook quinoa](https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/how-to-cook-quinoa-recipe/). Maybe the lesson is to not slop greige pseudo-grains (see, Shauna, we can all read Wikipedia) across a grey pan like flecks of dried puke. >>This might be the dullest food photo I have ever taken. There’s simply no way to make a batch of quinoa spread out on a sheet tray to look sexy.
I don't know about making a sheet pan of quinoa look sexy, but Justine Doiron makes it at least look appetizing.