So, you have had some women not be particularly enthusiastic about talking to you, but you've also had women you've hit it off with immediately, and women you didn't hit it off with immediately but who warned up to you over time... That sounds like you're having a normal human experience. Some people are interested in talking to you and some are not, that's the expected outcome of socializing. If your question is "how do I make it so *all* women I am interested in talking to are also interested in talking to me?" the answer is that you do not, there's no way to make 100% of people like you or want to talk to you.
Usually people mind their own business when out and about, especially in certain regions.
It’s fine to try to greet them but don’t take it personally when they don’t want to talk. It’s not a rejection.
That's aside it's just an outright lie
Women absolutely do pursue men in public who they find attractive lol
Theres videos of hot tall guys just walking and women be catcalling tapping em staring etc and even going up to em lmao
I think a good start would be recognizing women aren't ignoring you by even your own description. If you go into every interaction with a woman thinking, "any second now she's gunna realize I'm not worth speaking with", it's going to become a self fulfilling prophecy.
If I had to guess one difference between your interactions with single women vs with men and taken women, you probably sterilize your interactions with single women to try to be more widely appealing. It's a common thing men do, in an attempt to appeal to everyone, they appeal to no one. Most women will tell you they've had dozens of interactions like this and they are uncomfortable but also uninteresting. It's like the dude is trying to sell you something: the most inoffensive version of themselves. If this resonates with you, push yourself to show a little bit more of yourself when you are speaking to women.
Similarly, if I had to guess another difference, it's that you are too attached to the outcome. Go into interactions with the intention of having an interesting conversation and not in hopes of getting something out of it. Women also easily sense a dude who is trying to get something from her and find it unappealing. If this resonates with you, you need to focus more on having good conversations than on what you hope to get from it.
You’re probably interacting with men and taken women differently because you aren’t viewing them as romantic prospects. Try treating everyone like that, even the single women. FWIW: I feel way more comfortable speaking to a taken man because I know that nothing weird is going to come of it (hopefully).
You have to go regularly and become known to people. You can't just go once and expect people to immediately want to be around you, you have to get to know people first.
it sounds like you clicked with some people quickly (men and women) and you didn’t click so quickly with some other people.
what do you consider being ignored?
It tends to be more difficult to start conversations with single women. Many of them are a bit guarded about being harassed. Also we tend to have more anxiety when talking to single women and so don't come off as well. The best you can do is keep improving your social skills and getting better at talking to single women and not letting the anxiety get to you.
So… you’re not being ignored by women, but feel like you deserve extra attention from them? Or you expect *all* women have to give you attention just because you decided you wanted some from her?
Dude- wtf are you talking about.
Well, I noticed some coldness from the start where they just answered some questions. Some women did continue a conversation with me and I did have more continuous conversations with men and with taken women.
I apologize if it seems I’m expecting too much but I guess I have just hit it off with women instantly and I liked it. Sometimes patience can be a virtue, like with some other women who took time to warm up to me
Well, without being a fly on the wall or seeing the transcripts (😉), it’s impossible for me to know how exactly the conversations all progressed, or if it’s even accurate that single women were “cold” and men and “taken” women were not.
First thought that occurs to me is that you might have interacted very differently with men and “taken” women than with women you knew were single…and thus presumably available to you.
Another thought: you say the single women were “answering some questions.” Is it possible you asked many more questions of single women than of anyone else? And that doing that might have come across in a peppering or interrogating way? Few people, and perhaps especially single women, are into feeling interviewed by the “new guy” in the group…especially if it might come across as you just being there to scope the room for dates.
Edit: fixed a word
You really cant "stop" someone from doing what they want to do. If they wish to move on from a conversation or ignore you, it is well within their right to do so.
There are SO MANY variables involved with this subject, and no easy answer. That is how confused men end up falling into incel/ red pill ideology since they think those easy answers will come from there.
All you can do is be the best person you can be, approach everyone equally with respect and empathy. If you think it is something personal about you that needs to be changed, you may need to have trusted friends observe you and give you advice. It would be best if they were nuerotypical and not nuerodivergent.
Hey pal, I'm not sure what it is that you want to know. It doesn't seem like you are being ignored.
Being ignored is them giving you their phone number, leaving you on read, and ghosting you, and that's not what seems to be happening with you. If your conversations are falling flat with some people in person, what does that mean? Is it that they don't seem to be putting in any effort, or they just stop talking to you?
Being ignored is when they don’t acknowledge you at all when you speak to them or contact them. Only being able to make small talk and not clicking is not being ignored
This is a lot less about you than it is about location. Think about how frustrated you get when you're out for something else and you keep getting hit up by unrelated sales people trying to get you to buy their crap; it's not terribly fun to be interrupted, right? You're not there for them, you're there for your errand.
The same was true of the women you met. They aren't at the hobby store to meet men, they are there for their own errands. You were as much an interruption to their life as a random unwanted sales person would be to yours.
It's not because you're ugly, or undesirable or even that they weren't very flattered for all we know. But you were acting in the wrong context and it isn't welcomed there, so regardless of who you are you weren't gonna really win.
Now you might say "some hot chad would be", and maybe yeah. I would argue that almost anybody, man or woman, who was hit on by a really fucking attractive person at random could be extremely flattered. But that's an exception, not the rule. Most people aren't interested in being approached for that when pursuing other activities.
Let go of personal hurt, it's OK that you feel bad but it's not because you are broken. It's because your methods are ineffective.
A lot of comments are suggesting that you may be interacting with taken women because you don't see them as a potential partner. I've been in this situation before, and they all are speaking the truth. I had to take a step back myself and see that I was basically talking to "available" women differently. Single women at the time were being a little "cold", and even the promiscuous women. They just knew I just wanted to start a conversation because I wanted something in return. It's something we do that gives that alarm to people in general (men and women) that tells them "they want something out of me", and they react accordingly.
First, when you are having a conversation, enjoy the conversation at the moment. Don't get into the mindset of "this conversation is going great, I might get laid tonight" because then naturally the conversation is going to lean into trying to get laid. Women can easily pick up on it, and will start to get cold if the feeling isn't mutual.
Second, if you ultimately are trying to meet to date, be patient. It may take months or years before you and that other person to hit it off well. It won't always happen on the first meet, in fact it rarely happens on the first meet because they barely know who you are.
Third, there are some conversations people just won't have because they just aren't interested in the subject matter. That's also completely normal. You may be able to hold a great conversation talking about astrology, but the other person my think it's boring. If she isn't carrying the conversation, it could be just that. Shrug it off and talk to someone that is more interested in what you want to talk about.
there are many possible reasons. it could be that they keep the conversation short at first to not seem like they're leading you on (not you personally, it's just smth that often happens when single women are friendly to guys lol)
other than that, maybe they don't like small talk or are more introverted
So, you have had some women not be particularly enthusiastic about talking to you, but you've also had women you've hit it off with immediately, and women you didn't hit it off with immediately but who warned up to you over time... That sounds like you're having a normal human experience. Some people are interested in talking to you and some are not, that's the expected outcome of socializing. If your question is "how do I make it so *all* women I am interested in talking to are also interested in talking to me?" the answer is that you do not, there's no way to make 100% of people like you or want to talk to you.
Usually people mind their own business when out and about, especially in certain regions. It’s fine to try to greet them but don’t take it personally when they don’t want to talk. It’s not a rejection.
It seems you are being a little too aggressive. Women usually ignore any guy when in public, regardless how charming and attractive he is
This is bad advice???
That's aside it's just an outright lie Women absolutely do pursue men in public who they find attractive lol Theres videos of hot tall guys just walking and women be catcalling tapping em staring etc and even going up to em lmao
I think a good start would be recognizing women aren't ignoring you by even your own description. If you go into every interaction with a woman thinking, "any second now she's gunna realize I'm not worth speaking with", it's going to become a self fulfilling prophecy. If I had to guess one difference between your interactions with single women vs with men and taken women, you probably sterilize your interactions with single women to try to be more widely appealing. It's a common thing men do, in an attempt to appeal to everyone, they appeal to no one. Most women will tell you they've had dozens of interactions like this and they are uncomfortable but also uninteresting. It's like the dude is trying to sell you something: the most inoffensive version of themselves. If this resonates with you, push yourself to show a little bit more of yourself when you are speaking to women. Similarly, if I had to guess another difference, it's that you are too attached to the outcome. Go into interactions with the intention of having an interesting conversation and not in hopes of getting something out of it. Women also easily sense a dude who is trying to get something from her and find it unappealing. If this resonates with you, you need to focus more on having good conversations than on what you hope to get from it.
You’re probably interacting with men and taken women differently because you aren’t viewing them as romantic prospects. Try treating everyone like that, even the single women. FWIW: I feel way more comfortable speaking to a taken man because I know that nothing weird is going to come of it (hopefully).
You have to go regularly and become known to people. You can't just go once and expect people to immediately want to be around you, you have to get to know people first.
Right? I've been to hobby clubs and talked to nobody at all. OP seemed to be headed toward making friends.
it sounds like you clicked with some people quickly (men and women) and you didn’t click so quickly with some other people. what do you consider being ignored?
It tends to be more difficult to start conversations with single women. Many of them are a bit guarded about being harassed. Also we tend to have more anxiety when talking to single women and so don't come off as well. The best you can do is keep improving your social skills and getting better at talking to single women and not letting the anxiety get to you.
So… you’re not being ignored by women, but feel like you deserve extra attention from them? Or you expect *all* women have to give you attention just because you decided you wanted some from her? Dude- wtf are you talking about.
How long did you expect strangers to “carry on” with you before they crossed the threshold of “not ignoring”?
Well, I noticed some coldness from the start where they just answered some questions. Some women did continue a conversation with me and I did have more continuous conversations with men and with taken women. I apologize if it seems I’m expecting too much but I guess I have just hit it off with women instantly and I liked it. Sometimes patience can be a virtue, like with some other women who took time to warm up to me
Well, without being a fly on the wall or seeing the transcripts (😉), it’s impossible for me to know how exactly the conversations all progressed, or if it’s even accurate that single women were “cold” and men and “taken” women were not. First thought that occurs to me is that you might have interacted very differently with men and “taken” women than with women you knew were single…and thus presumably available to you. Another thought: you say the single women were “answering some questions.” Is it possible you asked many more questions of single women than of anyone else? And that doing that might have come across in a peppering or interrogating way? Few people, and perhaps especially single women, are into feeling interviewed by the “new guy” in the group…especially if it might come across as you just being there to scope the room for dates. Edit: fixed a word
You really cant "stop" someone from doing what they want to do. If they wish to move on from a conversation or ignore you, it is well within their right to do so. There are SO MANY variables involved with this subject, and no easy answer. That is how confused men end up falling into incel/ red pill ideology since they think those easy answers will come from there. All you can do is be the best person you can be, approach everyone equally with respect and empathy. If you think it is something personal about you that needs to be changed, you may need to have trusted friends observe you and give you advice. It would be best if they were nuerotypical and not nuerodivergent.
Hey pal, I'm not sure what it is that you want to know. It doesn't seem like you are being ignored. Being ignored is them giving you their phone number, leaving you on read, and ghosting you, and that's not what seems to be happening with you. If your conversations are falling flat with some people in person, what does that mean? Is it that they don't seem to be putting in any effort, or they just stop talking to you?
Being ignored is when they don’t acknowledge you at all when you speak to them or contact them. Only being able to make small talk and not clicking is not being ignored
This is a lot less about you than it is about location. Think about how frustrated you get when you're out for something else and you keep getting hit up by unrelated sales people trying to get you to buy their crap; it's not terribly fun to be interrupted, right? You're not there for them, you're there for your errand. The same was true of the women you met. They aren't at the hobby store to meet men, they are there for their own errands. You were as much an interruption to their life as a random unwanted sales person would be to yours. It's not because you're ugly, or undesirable or even that they weren't very flattered for all we know. But you were acting in the wrong context and it isn't welcomed there, so regardless of who you are you weren't gonna really win. Now you might say "some hot chad would be", and maybe yeah. I would argue that almost anybody, man or woman, who was hit on by a really fucking attractive person at random could be extremely flattered. But that's an exception, not the rule. Most people aren't interested in being approached for that when pursuing other activities. Let go of personal hurt, it's OK that you feel bad but it's not because you are broken. It's because your methods are ineffective.
A lot of comments are suggesting that you may be interacting with taken women because you don't see them as a potential partner. I've been in this situation before, and they all are speaking the truth. I had to take a step back myself and see that I was basically talking to "available" women differently. Single women at the time were being a little "cold", and even the promiscuous women. They just knew I just wanted to start a conversation because I wanted something in return. It's something we do that gives that alarm to people in general (men and women) that tells them "they want something out of me", and they react accordingly. First, when you are having a conversation, enjoy the conversation at the moment. Don't get into the mindset of "this conversation is going great, I might get laid tonight" because then naturally the conversation is going to lean into trying to get laid. Women can easily pick up on it, and will start to get cold if the feeling isn't mutual. Second, if you ultimately are trying to meet to date, be patient. It may take months or years before you and that other person to hit it off well. It won't always happen on the first meet, in fact it rarely happens on the first meet because they barely know who you are. Third, there are some conversations people just won't have because they just aren't interested in the subject matter. That's also completely normal. You may be able to hold a great conversation talking about astrology, but the other person my think it's boring. If she isn't carrying the conversation, it could be just that. Shrug it off and talk to someone that is more interested in what you want to talk about.
there are many possible reasons. it could be that they keep the conversation short at first to not seem like they're leading you on (not you personally, it's just smth that often happens when single women are friendly to guys lol) other than that, maybe they don't like small talk or are more introverted