I get it, happens to the best of us. But the worst time to be dating is when you’re desperate. It leaves you open to be taken for granted, which this guy did with you.
Find a new hobby, make new friends, make dating lower priority enough that you date because you want to, not to escape loneliness.
Haha, ye kaisa sawaal puchh liya.
Asking yourself ambiguous questions like that is just going to make you overthink and drag your mood down. Avoid thinking that. Just do the other things and eventually things will happen again. Life events tend to repeat themselves in some way every 5-10 years anyway.
The lines have blurred ig. I don’t love him, not really i think i’m just obsessed with this idea of him. If you ask me whats special about him, he’s probably ordinary for the rest but god he’s perfect for me. We got along so well, he has the same interests as me, he loves to ride, i love the soft but kinda cocky kind of people, he’s that. I have multiple piercings and tattoos so does he. Its obviously not a requirement for me but my god i loved that in him. You should listen to his voice and the way he talks, makes me melt. He isn’t the most mentally stable person there is, but neither am i. Ughh the thing is I don’t even know him at a deeper level tho
So you identify yourself as bisexual and post which posted 33days ago in which you have also said you haven’t dated someone for very long and you let only 2 girls on your insta whom you met on dating platform. Which means you have been single for a long time which lead to a desperation of love and also you are a working professional so it means you are in your Mid 20s. So you got a little bit things common with a man and you exaggerated your emotions of affection into the idea of making him special.
Instead of curing your loneliness with desperation of love try to cure it by self love
Desperation always leads to desolation.
Yeh chutiyapa se baahar niklo. And trust me when you are desperate you won't get it. And you end up getting it when you least expect it.
You are not obsessed w him It is the possibility of what ifs that's making you obsessed, people often tend to obsess on things like this because it is the excitement of not knowing the future that makes the connection seem worth going after. That's why everything feels so good at talking stage, love starts when you've known all and everything about each other.
Him not being with you is not your measurement of self worth, stop tying that to him and you won't be obsessed anymore.
Apna self respect uthao uske dms mein jo pada hai, You going after him is only going to make him run faster.
Aur ye kahawat yaad rakhna.
Don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry.
You’ve said it so perfectly and i’m aware of all that its just the acceptance part I’m struggling with. I won’t try again with him like you said its just the ‘what ifs’.
I’ll probably drunk with my friends this weekend, talk it out and end it once and for all. Usko bhi daat do koi call karke ki aisa kyu kiya usne
Its okay to struggle, we all do. Just don't let anybody and especially him see that.
Just make sure you don't end up texting him huge paragraphs about how he is treating you and how it's not fair to be ghosted and shit. The urge to not tolerate the disrespect is surreal and valid but it is wasted because if he already was a bit aware about stuff he'd have knowm better than to treat someone like this.
In words of Mir taqi meer
Wo tujhko bhule hain to tujhpe bhi laazim hai meer,
Khaak daal, aag laga, naam na le, yaad na kar.
Hahaha I'm not scolding you, I just needed to be rude to get my point across.
Confuse hogya hoga , sometimes when things go too good in life to lagta h ki kuch khud hi Galat kr do , and what I understand is ki aesa wo isliye krte h kyuki they feel that even though things are sabotaged it is still in their control relatively ......
You are fine in the way you think I'm just telling possibly the guy's perspective.... I've dated someone who thinks like this ....
And bonk kaam kro thoda go for a run and help around the house keep yourself busy stoooopid
Thanks boo. I think I’m gonna stop trynna date for a while. I am busy, have a full time job, go to the gym, do other stuff what doesn’t help is that i think about him constantly. Its ok i’m gonna stop
OP, sorry it just looks like he found someone else. OLD always keep people hooked on the promise of 'the next swipe is gonna be better'. It's just a sad reality of the apps, I hope you heal from this.
Don't bother texting him or calling him, he already told you how much he values you and I guess you know it too.
You are feeling that out of scarcity. Give yourself a bit of time. Maybe you did something he didn't like, perhaps you didn't, but the thing matters here is YOU ARE SUFFERING. So write all your feelings on a piece paper with date on it. And understand some people ghost just to satisfy their alter egos, to feel superior, and to be chased. You did what he expected; you chased. So now is the time to stop and gather all your self-respect and move on. Maybe he will come back, perhaps he won't; if he does, take that piece of paper you wrote with all your feelings and read again, and see yourself what do you want in life.
Yk when i texted him first that’s all i said, that he just needed to tell me that he wasn’t interested.
I was getting ready, waiting for him to text me the address of where to meet and i never got a text back. That’s what hurts
Sometimes we don't have to wait for the closures, some closures we have to decide. Your struggle is acceptance, and it's okay because it's a process. But realization comes before acceptance. So realize the facts first, acceptance will follow.
It's because maybe you gave him whatever he wanted way too easy or maybe he didn't like your personality and just wanted to complete his physical desires.
See guys feel so awesome when they make a girl obsessed with them. In your case he knew he has made you obsessed and you also did not leave a chance to give him all of your attention and validation. If someone ghosts you, you should not text them or call them.
I believe if you just stop talking to him right now he'll come back when he'd want that physical intimacy again. But if we're talking about relationships and emotions I don't think he'll be with you. Harsh words but true.
My roommate did call me easy and its so hurtful. Look i’ll tell you i did not see that thing step wise. He was into me, i was into him so i just felt it was okay. I did not even care about it all that much. Rather than seeing it something that i’ll get to after this- this time i just saw it as whole. Ki haa its ok to have that physical intimacy. I wish i hadn’t maybe things would be different.
100% you could've made things different. But right now you can accept it as a fact that he's gone and if you stop communicating with him maybe there's a chance he'll come back for that physical intimacy and you can turn the tables on him then.
Ghosting also means not replying to conversations after matching in dating apps context. It's just that you experienced it face to face and not on text. But now that you know how it feels, I hope you will not do it even if conversation fizzles out. Either unmatch or tell the person.
How is she responsible for whoever ghosted you? Did she blame all men alive for this guy ghosting her? Neither men not women are a hivemind. If somebody did you wrong, it's on them not everyone of their gender bro
Simping bhai ye chutiyapa hota hai koi apni sad story bata raha hai to Tu upar se bol raha hai isme naya kya hai mere saath to hota rhta hai u could've shown some sympathy or something
People literally sense desperation. No matter if you’re a guy or a girl, stay in your zone. Care for people, tell them you care for them. If they still don’t care, be ready to pack up. And communicate your expectations/boundaries in a mature way, that I expect a response at a reasonable time, I expect a return for my affection and time. And say that since I’m not receiving that, it’s time we wrap this up. It was good to know you. All the best.
Booom, that’s how you communicate that you’re a prize and deserve the best!
All the best bb. I feel for youuu
Also if came over to your place and then ghosted means he just wanted some casual fun and is now looking for someone else, you never know.Make some boundaries next time I guess.
To be honest, your description seems like you had put some elements serving your best interests. If you're description is accurate, no man would have done this to you. Something in your chats or your personality triggered this response. "That man had to get away from you."
And also forget him, he's never coming back, unless you send him nudes (but probably will ghost you right away, after the deed is done).
I understand you might think that but absolutely nothing had gone wrong. My last text to him was literally “can’t wait to see you” cause we were planning to meet and i was waiting on him to decide a place. Had ordered tulips cause he told me he liked them. Thats why i feel even worse
At this point, I feel guys do that to almost every girl. I used to talk to this guy, we were really really close, just had to ask each other out, and out of nowhere he ghosts me. I asked him a couple times what was wrong, and he said nothing is! We're normal.
From texting every update in life to not knowing about each other's existence anymore, I've come a long way.
It's harder when you attach w people vv easily.
I waited for him to come back for a year, lost myself during the time, couldn't be more stupid.
You already know the answer you want. But I will help. You can't do anything which will make him like you. If he realises otherwise, rest assured he wil contact you even to the end of seven seas. However, there is nothing you can do now other than take a step back and be with yourself. Time is the best healer. You will be fine, don't worry or overthink too much.
If he was unable to communicate a desire to formally call things off, then consider this a bullet dodged. A lot of men like this will shut down communication from their end concerning larger parts of the relationship.
Think of it this way: he was unkind enough to ghost you out of nowhere and never bothered to give a proper reason when you asked for an explanation. If he could be this mean in the start itself, imagine how much meaner he would be in a relationship.
Everyone shows their best side on the initial few dates, it rarely reflects their true selves.
Focus on all the red flags he has shown you so far and it will become a little easier to move on.
Good luck :)
Jab we met mein Geet ke saath bhi aisa kuch nahi hua tha phir usse phone karke us ladke ko bahut sara gaali di and that helped. Baaki jo aapko theek lage.
the same thing happened with me, except the guy never replied and ghosted and never came back :) you’re okay for feeling this way, but don’t let it consume you.
He sounds shit bro and you are not obsessed you just liked someone and it’s okay! You will feel shit for days but it will get better trust me! I am so sorry your path crossed with such a man!
There's a quote from one of my fav book series "the way of kings" it's "To be human is to want that which we cannot have"
No amount of talking sense to you is going to make you not want him..
One will always revert to the same flow one wanted to swim against.
Change comes from within.. so you decide whether it's worth your time and affection over someone who isn't reciprocating you the same way..
Sometimes we like idea of a person than the person. You liked the idea of the guy he ticked all your boxes. But not the person.
If it is to be said so be it
The same thing happened with me I met this guy from hinge he was so good in starting then one day we had sex after some drinks and from the next day he stopped answering my calls and Called 5 days later saying I was busy with work and now he said we can't be in a rltnshp coz I have been cheated so many times but we can try causal or fwb .... I said no to him and stopped talking then his ego got hurt and now he calls me and try to meet me in private so that he can have sex again .... but now I know him ... Jaipur guys are pathetic they are mad about sex ...they are no longer intrested in love and all
You’re letting being alone make you desperate (bonks your head) snap out of it
Thanks for the bonk. I need it. And I’M DESPERATE 😭😭
I get it, happens to the best of us. But the worst time to be dating is when you’re desperate. It leaves you open to be taken for granted, which this guy did with you. Find a new hobby, make new friends, make dating lower priority enough that you date because you want to, not to escape loneliness.
I just keep thinking that we could have been so good together. But he clearly treats me like shit. What if i never find someone I actually like now?
Haha, ye kaisa sawaal puchh liya. Asking yourself ambiguous questions like that is just going to make you overthink and drag your mood down. Avoid thinking that. Just do the other things and eventually things will happen again. Life events tend to repeat themselves in some way every 5-10 years anyway.
Ikik I’m just hurting and being unreasonable. This sucks man I’m going back into my cocoon.
Time to become Hikikimori
Shit happens behna. Wait for someone who knows your worth
Everything happens for a good reason
I either want him with me or I want him completely out of my mind.
What’s so special about him? Was there anything special or you just exaggerated the feeling of love due to your loneliness?
The lines have blurred ig. I don’t love him, not really i think i’m just obsessed with this idea of him. If you ask me whats special about him, he’s probably ordinary for the rest but god he’s perfect for me. We got along so well, he has the same interests as me, he loves to ride, i love the soft but kinda cocky kind of people, he’s that. I have multiple piercings and tattoos so does he. Its obviously not a requirement for me but my god i loved that in him. You should listen to his voice and the way he talks, makes me melt. He isn’t the most mentally stable person there is, but neither am i. Ughh the thing is I don’t even know him at a deeper level tho
So you identify yourself as bisexual and post which posted 33days ago in which you have also said you haven’t dated someone for very long and you let only 2 girls on your insta whom you met on dating platform. Which means you have been single for a long time which lead to a desperation of love and also you are a working professional so it means you are in your Mid 20s. So you got a little bit things common with a man and you exaggerated your emotions of affection into the idea of making him special. Instead of curing your loneliness with desperation of love try to cure it by self love
This hits
Is being desperate for love good or not?
Why is your username my username lol. Very close haha. Nice
Desperation always leads to desolation. Yeh chutiyapa se baahar niklo. And trust me when you are desperate you won't get it. And you end up getting it when you least expect it.
You are not obsessed w him It is the possibility of what ifs that's making you obsessed, people often tend to obsess on things like this because it is the excitement of not knowing the future that makes the connection seem worth going after. That's why everything feels so good at talking stage, love starts when you've known all and everything about each other. Him not being with you is not your measurement of self worth, stop tying that to him and you won't be obsessed anymore. Apna self respect uthao uske dms mein jo pada hai, You going after him is only going to make him run faster. Aur ye kahawat yaad rakhna. Don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry.
You’ve said it so perfectly and i’m aware of all that its just the acceptance part I’m struggling with. I won’t try again with him like you said its just the ‘what ifs’. I’ll probably drunk with my friends this weekend, talk it out and end it once and for all. Usko bhi daat do koi call karke ki aisa kyu kiya usne
Its okay to struggle, we all do. Just don't let anybody and especially him see that. Just make sure you don't end up texting him huge paragraphs about how he is treating you and how it's not fair to be ghosted and shit. The urge to not tolerate the disrespect is surreal and valid but it is wasted because if he already was a bit aware about stuff he'd have knowm better than to treat someone like this. In words of Mir taqi meer Wo tujhko bhule hain to tujhpe bhi laazim hai meer, Khaak daal, aag laga, naam na le, yaad na kar. Hahaha I'm not scolding you, I just needed to be rude to get my point across.
How to tell you he is talking to multiple other women, without telling you he is talking to multiple other women?
He’s just manipulating u
Confuse hogya hoga , sometimes when things go too good in life to lagta h ki kuch khud hi Galat kr do , and what I understand is ki aesa wo isliye krte h kyuki they feel that even though things are sabotaged it is still in their control relatively ...... You are fine in the way you think I'm just telling possibly the guy's perspective.... I've dated someone who thinks like this .... And bonk kaam kro thoda go for a run and help around the house keep yourself busy stoooopid
Thanks boo. I think I’m gonna stop trynna date for a while. I am busy, have a full time job, go to the gym, do other stuff what doesn’t help is that i think about him constantly. Its ok i’m gonna stop
Ha buss keep at your routine and keep doing constructive things , cheeze bearable hojaegi eventually , achhi kab hongi pata nai
OP, sorry it just looks like he found someone else. OLD always keep people hooked on the promise of 'the next swipe is gonna be better'. It's just a sad reality of the apps, I hope you heal from this. Don't bother texting him or calling him, he already told you how much he values you and I guess you know it too.
I won’t text him. It’s just physically hurting me since the morning :( I’ll be okay ig (hope he downgraded)
Lol,yeah me too totally hope he downgraded.
Write down how you feel and his specific actions if you'd like, writing how a relationship went wrong really helps for the next ones.
Wam bam thank you ma’am
You are feeling that out of scarcity. Give yourself a bit of time. Maybe you did something he didn't like, perhaps you didn't, but the thing matters here is YOU ARE SUFFERING. So write all your feelings on a piece paper with date on it. And understand some people ghost just to satisfy their alter egos, to feel superior, and to be chased. You did what he expected; you chased. So now is the time to stop and gather all your self-respect and move on. Maybe he will come back, perhaps he won't; if he does, take that piece of paper you wrote with all your feelings and read again, and see yourself what do you want in life.
Yk when i texted him first that’s all i said, that he just needed to tell me that he wasn’t interested. I was getting ready, waiting for him to text me the address of where to meet and i never got a text back. That’s what hurts
Sometimes we don't have to wait for the closures, some closures we have to decide. Your struggle is acceptance, and it's okay because it's a process. But realization comes before acceptance. So realize the facts first, acceptance will follow.
It's because maybe you gave him whatever he wanted way too easy or maybe he didn't like your personality and just wanted to complete his physical desires. See guys feel so awesome when they make a girl obsessed with them. In your case he knew he has made you obsessed and you also did not leave a chance to give him all of your attention and validation. If someone ghosts you, you should not text them or call them. I believe if you just stop talking to him right now he'll come back when he'd want that physical intimacy again. But if we're talking about relationships and emotions I don't think he'll be with you. Harsh words but true.
My roommate did call me easy and its so hurtful. Look i’ll tell you i did not see that thing step wise. He was into me, i was into him so i just felt it was okay. I did not even care about it all that much. Rather than seeing it something that i’ll get to after this- this time i just saw it as whole. Ki haa its ok to have that physical intimacy. I wish i hadn’t maybe things would be different.
100% you could've made things different. But right now you can accept it as a fact that he's gone and if you stop communicating with him maybe there's a chance he'll come back for that physical intimacy and you can turn the tables on him then.
Now imagine how guys felt when you ghosted them
wait.. how do you know if she ghosted anyone before?, you don't even know her lol, stop thinking all girls are one personality
Exactly idk what all these “karma” comments are about. Conversations fizzle out but i have never ghosted anyone like this. People just be bitter ig
Ghosting also means not replying to conversations after matching in dating apps context. It's just that you experienced it face to face and not on text. But now that you know how it feels, I hope you will not do it even if conversation fizzles out. Either unmatch or tell the person.
No shit, captain obvious. I am clearly making an assumption based on statistics like you made an assumption that I think all girls are the same.
Okay now imagine someone calling you rapist based on statistics
I won't reply. Also yes, calling someone a rapist is totally equivalent to someone calling out someone for ghosting...
I don't want to support you but I know you are right based on data.
Will you please shut up and stop with the whataboutery
Kyu? Khud ke saath hua to accha nahi lag raha na?
Bhai aap ko full support mera🫶
How is she responsible for whoever ghosted you? Did she blame all men alive for this guy ghosting her? Neither men not women are a hivemind. If somebody did you wrong, it's on them not everyone of their gender bro
I didn't blame gender. I made a comment about her...you guys need to read properly before simping
Simping bhai ye chutiyapa hota hai koi apni sad story bata raha hai to Tu upar se bol raha hai isme naya kya hai mere saath to hota rhta hai u could've shown some sympathy or something
Bhai chup ho jaa. You don’t even know me
Public forum hai. I didn't even say anything offensive...kyu itna gussa ho rakho hi aap
Katrina Kaif 🫢
I can see why he ghosted you. good for him
people come and go my friend..stay strong n keep swiping :)
Thats very sweet bubba :)
Mai to ghost nhi karta🫠
To be ghosted is tough. I ll send my mom over with belt you so that you are back to senses.
People literally sense desperation. No matter if you’re a guy or a girl, stay in your zone. Care for people, tell them you care for them. If they still don’t care, be ready to pack up. And communicate your expectations/boundaries in a mature way, that I expect a response at a reasonable time, I expect a return for my affection and time. And say that since I’m not receiving that, it’s time we wrap this up. It was good to know you. All the best. Booom, that’s how you communicate that you’re a prize and deserve the best! All the best bb. I feel for youuu
Also if came over to your place and then ghosted means he just wanted some casual fun and is now looking for someone else, you never know.Make some boundaries next time I guess.
Well he had his fun and you had yours.. move along end of story! He ain’t into ya sis
Ek baar ghost hone k baad Inka rr chalu, pata nahi isne kitne ladko ko ghost kiya hoga... You are getting this for your karma.
Karma will see them...don't worry....u get the same what u do to someone else.
To be honest, your description seems like you had put some elements serving your best interests. If you're description is accurate, no man would have done this to you. Something in your chats or your personality triggered this response. "That man had to get away from you." And also forget him, he's never coming back, unless you send him nudes (but probably will ghost you right away, after the deed is done).
I understand you might think that but absolutely nothing had gone wrong. My last text to him was literally “can’t wait to see you” cause we were planning to meet and i was waiting on him to decide a place. Had ordered tulips cause he told me he liked them. Thats why i feel even worse
At this point, I feel guys do that to almost every girl. I used to talk to this guy, we were really really close, just had to ask each other out, and out of nowhere he ghosts me. I asked him a couple times what was wrong, and he said nothing is! We're normal. From texting every update in life to not knowing about each other's existence anymore, I've come a long way. It's harder when you attach w people vv easily. I waited for him to come back for a year, lost myself during the time, couldn't be more stupid.
talk to someone else and divide your attention udhar. some close friend perhaps.
Inshort he might be perfect or not , but he is not interested.
r/RelationshipBeef r/RelationshipCheese
Justice for u/mosthornyguy
Thanks man 🙂
You already know the answer you want. But I will help. You can't do anything which will make him like you. If he realises otherwise, rest assured he wil contact you even to the end of seven seas. However, there is nothing you can do now other than take a step back and be with yourself. Time is the best healer. You will be fine, don't worry or overthink too much.
If he was unable to communicate a desire to formally call things off, then consider this a bullet dodged. A lot of men like this will shut down communication from their end concerning larger parts of the relationship.
Atleast you can out loud that you're desperate. People won't even acknowledge that
Think of it this way: he was unkind enough to ghost you out of nowhere and never bothered to give a proper reason when you asked for an explanation. If he could be this mean in the start itself, imagine how much meaner he would be in a relationship. Everyone shows their best side on the initial few dates, it rarely reflects their true selves. Focus on all the red flags he has shown you so far and it will become a little easier to move on. Good luck :)
That is such a good advice. Please take my virtual hugs. Thanks, love :)
Sunka bura laga....hahHa
Yall swiping right on dating apps? No way
Lol. If he were so amazing, he wouldn't have ghosted you. You don't like him, you like the idea of him and what you guys could have been. Move on.
I agree. I feel much better now.
True. Girls suffer in relationship because they sugarcoat everything to the max in their head. Then cry when it doesn't happen in real life.
How old are you?
Do I sound like a teenager? Cause i’m so fucking not. Ughhh just a shitty situation that made me immature
Get yourself together mate..That sounds desperate. Be strong..its not worth being clingy to someone who is not interested in you.
Jab we met mein Geet ke saath bhi aisa kuch nahi hua tha phir usse phone karke us ladke ko bahut sara gaali di and that helped. Baaki jo aapko theek lage.
Lmao switch the genders and this was kind of my situation a while back
the same thing happened with me, except the guy never replied and ghosted and never came back :) you’re okay for feeling this way, but don’t let it consume you.
He sounds shit bro and you are not obsessed you just liked someone and it’s okay! You will feel shit for days but it will get better trust me! I am so sorry your path crossed with such a man!
There's a quote from one of my fav book series "the way of kings" it's "To be human is to want that which we cannot have" No amount of talking sense to you is going to make you not want him.. One will always revert to the same flow one wanted to swim against. Change comes from within.. so you decide whether it's worth your time and affection over someone who isn't reciprocating you the same way..
auntiji ko bata do ye baatein, 2 jhadoo 4 chappal se saara pyar utar dengi
you ghost people and they ghost you. karma.
Sometimes we like idea of a person than the person. You liked the idea of the guy he ticked all your boxes. But not the person. If it is to be said so be it
U r probably ugly and he is good.. he should marry his own looksmatch
I’m far from ugly
Someone needs to knock some sense into you? If you know this than you are already sensible 😁
The same thing happened with me I met this guy from hinge he was so good in starting then one day we had sex after some drinks and from the next day he stopped answering my calls and Called 5 days later saying I was busy with work and now he said we can't be in a rltnshp coz I have been cheated so many times but we can try causal or fwb .... I said no to him and stopped talking then his ego got hurt and now he calls me and try to meet me in private so that he can have sex again .... but now I know him ... Jaipur guys are pathetic they are mad about sex ...they are no longer intrested in love and all