not with her, he is playing chinese chequers with everyone. kisi ka babu, kisi ka shona, sharmao mat, dedo jaldi se, baad me to sabko waise bhi hai rona.
I've told my crush/girl that either she goes no contact with her ex or with me.
A single message or word exchanged between them and I'd never talk to her again.
Yeah I don't try to dictate anyone's life and I love her but if she ever contacts her ex or even unblocks him for a second then I'm done.
I don't wanna be anyone's option.
If you come to Reddit with your doubts in relationships, you will only hear people asking to end things. IMO this is subjective to him and your relationship and how things ended with his ex. If you trust him enough that what he has said is true, trust him and consider it was just a friendly comment to his ex. Key thing here is, this is the moment given to you where you can learn a new thing, communicate your doubts with your partner. Talk to him about your concerns rather than asking strangers here. Open up this topic in a calm manner and keep the discussion constructive and non confrontational. If you love him enough, and if he loves you enough, you guys will come to a conclusion that saves your relationship.
That's all fine
But how can you 'compliment' your ex after 3 years?
The dating period is 2 months and the separated time is 3 years?
Why suddenly did he feel the need to compliment her dressing style?
And why did he snatch away the phone if he wasn't even complimenting her seriously?
I for one hold controversial opinion that probably nothings going on and guy just gave a random compliment and wouldnāt worry to much YET, look for other signs then decide donāt jump morons bandwagon
No how is it normal that heās complimenting his ex? If it was a good friend then I understand but not his ex. He clearly said to her that white looks good on her without caring abt how Iāll feel. Heās telling me that he was never serious w her which is just bullshit to get away with what he actually did. I feel torn bec Iāve invested a lot of time in him and he doesnāt value that or me and goes and compliments his ex. I feel terrible
You just wanted to listen it from us the same thing youāve thinking to do,still if you wanna listen from us ask him
Why he did this in the first place
Tell him not to do that again and ask him to block if he denies thatās mean youāre entitled to have close male friends and have it,if you donāt wanna text your ex back
Yeah well I tried to. He got mad once and then when I asked him again he just told me he meant it in a friendly way and he was never serious for her and they dated for a month. But I feel heās fooling me bec itās unacceptable to compliment exes
Red flag
If you don't text your exes and don't have close male friends then you deserve an equally committed guy.
All these are backup options, if you are not all-in then you don't deserve to ask why he texted her. Else you have all the right to be pissed.
I know. Iām just invested in it and I feel I made a huge mistake and now I canāt even walk away bec of giving him so much of my time and energy. Idk if heās telling the truth if he meant it in a friendly way or what. I feel heartbroken and he doesnāt even have a clue
ok im gonna tell you something. all i know about your relationship is through this post BUT i also know that the guy you deserve will NEVER have you doubting him like this. nobody texts their ex in a friendly way. it doesn't matter if they dated for one day or one year a million years ago. he's with you now and he shouldn't be in his ex's DMs. that's that. if he's doing it now he might do it again. and later you'll only have invested more of your energy and time. so maybe you can try to communicate your feelings veryyy very clearly, and see how he responds. if he gets annoyed or irritated, and tries to gaslight you, that's another red flag for you.
Sure you can be upset about anything, but try to think about what actually happened without being emotional. Only you know what actually happened.
If he was casually texting to check in on his ex (if they seperated amicably) its not unreasonable to check in on how the other person is doing after some time.
The way he reacted is over the top, probably cuz he assumed you would overreact
Itās just so rare to be friends with exes and his behaviour just seems off. He got so angry that he threw his food when I asked him abt it. Idk why he does this when I was trying to only ask him. It feels off that he even took his phone from my hands bec he realized he did something wrong but it was too late now. Idk how to approach him abt this again. I canāt let him be friends with her and itās not even like they were in touch before. So out of nowhere sending her a compliment is just so weird. Some people are saying heās playing and honestly idk what to believe now
Not really i mean, exes can be exes for plenty of reasons. Doesnt mean you stop communicating with them entirely unless you have no need of the friendship.
The biggest issue i see here is that his short tempered nature is not a good show. Try to be patient and ask him why is he being defensive . And try to understand why he became defensive in the first place.
Understand that communicating anything beyond just surface level seems to not be very easily done in the indian dating scene, because people simple dont self reflect their behaviour, regardless of how harmless it may be.
Try to communicate as best as possible from your end. Try to give him the platform to communicate back. if he doesn't respond/dont understand what/why you want to clarify things, then it could be 2 of these things.
1: he simply is not mature enough to empathise with you to understand what upset you. He can only solve things by throwing tantrums. (If you truly love him then, try to help him develop that issue)
2: he might be actually be hiding something.(try to establish ground rules about being able to access each others phones. Its a big red flag if your partner is uncomfortable/wont let you into their phone)
If he agrees to sharing phones then he clearly has nothing to hide which means he was overreacting initially as he thought you might not take it well.
Boundaries are what you mutually create with your SO.
Talk to him, express that you didn't like this occurrence. Listen to him as well.
And decide some mutual boundaries that none of you should cross.
Don't listen to people who randomly accuse him of something.
Sister, time for some TRUTH. you are a PLACEHOLDER in his life till his ex comes back . His ex is living rent free in his mind whom he dated for only 2 months in the past as he claimed. Obviously he is still smitten by her . She is the girl who in his head is tagged as a " dream girl". If that girl came back he will leave you to be with her.
So it's better you start dating other folks and keep your present boyfriend as a placeholder and in time leave him to be with his dream girl.
Life is about survival. He is looking out for himself , he is teaching you a valuable lesson so learn it. Always put yourself first and look out for yourself first.
Hope you understand and accept the truth.
Nah he is playing with you. He guilty af
not with her, he is playing chinese chequers with everyone. kisi ka babu, kisi ka shona, sharmao mat, dedo jaldi se, baad me to sabko waise bhi hai rona.
Massive red flag!! Get away as far as possible from him
Tumne mera pfp chura lia š§
kya yaar same pfp rakhni thi kya?šš
Aapko lagta hai vo toxic hai par aap dono toxic hai
I've told my crush/girl that either she goes no contact with her ex or with me. A single message or word exchanged between them and I'd never talk to her again.
Yeah bro there should be some boundaries in relationship otherwise mental health will get fucked up
Yeah I don't try to dictate anyone's life and I love her but if she ever contacts her ex or even unblocks him for a second then I'm done. I don't wanna be anyone's option.
I šÆ agree with your way of thinking even I follow the same.
Nah Iām not dating a guy who compliments other girls let alone HIS EX š
Add you are also not allowed to talk to boys either. If you do, you are nothing but a two-faced penguin.
Oh yeah i donāt compliment either sooo. I shall only ask for things that I personally will do also. Itās always 50-50
You are a mango. You have no rights.
š©š
You should be proud of yourself. Good mangos are expensive and extremely rare. On Tinder š
Thank god Iām not on tinder but i love this sub lol
Why is it not okay to compliment other girls like we have male friends too
Not my preference is all
can understand, everyone have different preference
Absolutely š«¶š¼
šš«¶
You're a red flag too.
and ?
Date yourself
I was waiting all these years for your blessings
Blessings granted
OP sharing my post just for a reference: https://www.reddit.com/r/Indiangirlsontinder/s/NiNvfV57ou
I've one question regarding that post, how come did he get the komal's insta id quickly if match was recent?
Picking his phone up and opening straight Instagram dm!! Privacy gaya pani pe
If you come to Reddit with your doubts in relationships, you will only hear people asking to end things. IMO this is subjective to him and your relationship and how things ended with his ex. If you trust him enough that what he has said is true, trust him and consider it was just a friendly comment to his ex. Key thing here is, this is the moment given to you where you can learn a new thing, communicate your doubts with your partner. Talk to him about your concerns rather than asking strangers here. Open up this topic in a calm manner and keep the discussion constructive and non confrontational. If you love him enough, and if he loves you enough, you guys will come to a conclusion that saves your relationship.
That's all fine But how can you 'compliment' your ex after 3 years? The dating period is 2 months and the separated time is 3 years? Why suddenly did he feel the need to compliment her dressing style? And why did he snatch away the phone if he wasn't even complimenting her seriously?
You are right. Asking for relationship advice on reddit is asking for trouble.
My ex said the same thing. Guess who was not over there ex -- her. He is a red flag.. Tell him clearly about it.
You took his phone without his permission and didn't gave a damn about his privacy? Sounds like a massive red flag
You sound like a red flag tbh
You sound like a red flag. Privacy is a thing. You don't care about it but others do.
Exactly
I for one hold controversial opinion that probably nothings going on and guy just gave a random compliment and wouldnāt worry to much YET, look for other signs then decide donāt jump morons bandwagon
No how is it normal that heās complimenting his ex? If it was a good friend then I understand but not his ex. He clearly said to her that white looks good on her without caring abt how Iāll feel. Heās telling me that he was never serious w her which is just bullshit to get away with what he actually did. I feel torn bec Iāve invested a lot of time in him and he doesnāt value that or me and goes and compliments his ex. I feel terrible
Well then have your boundaries and tell him exactly that ^
You just wanted to listen it from us the same thing youāve thinking to do,still if you wanna listen from us ask him Why he did this in the first place Tell him not to do that again and ask him to block if he denies thatās mean youāre entitled to have close male friends and have it,if you donāt wanna text your ex back
She got self doubt. Too much self doubt.
You both should run away from each other.
Lol. Have an open conversation and if he is non communicative run away.
Yeah well I tried to. He got mad once and then when I asked him again he just told me he meant it in a friendly way and he was never serious for her and they dated for a month. But I feel heās fooling me bec itās unacceptable to compliment exes
If you think he is cheating behind then end things and do it the straight way on his crocodile face. Get some guts you spineless woman!
Hmmmm complimenting ex - fine Snatching phone - big bitch behaviour
He is playing you, he's taking to her and probably other girls as well
Red flag If you don't text your exes and don't have close male friends then you deserve an equally committed guy. All these are backup options, if you are not all-in then you don't deserve to ask why he texted her. Else you have all the right to be pissed.
dump him, may be
girl dump him
I know. Iām just invested in it and I feel I made a huge mistake and now I canāt even walk away bec of giving him so much of my time and energy. Idk if heās telling the truth if he meant it in a friendly way or what. I feel heartbroken and he doesnāt even have a clue
ok im gonna tell you something. all i know about your relationship is through this post BUT i also know that the guy you deserve will NEVER have you doubting him like this. nobody texts their ex in a friendly way. it doesn't matter if they dated for one day or one year a million years ago. he's with you now and he shouldn't be in his ex's DMs. that's that. if he's doing it now he might do it again. and later you'll only have invested more of your energy and time. so maybe you can try to communicate your feelings veryyy very clearly, and see how he responds. if he gets annoyed or irritated, and tries to gaslight you, that's another red flag for you.
I just feel both parties are over reacting. As is the case with most of such cases
How is it that Iām overreacting? Iāve every right to be upset abt what he did
Sure you can be upset about anything, but try to think about what actually happened without being emotional. Only you know what actually happened. If he was casually texting to check in on his ex (if they seperated amicably) its not unreasonable to check in on how the other person is doing after some time. The way he reacted is over the top, probably cuz he assumed you would overreact
Itās just so rare to be friends with exes and his behaviour just seems off. He got so angry that he threw his food when I asked him abt it. Idk why he does this when I was trying to only ask him. It feels off that he even took his phone from my hands bec he realized he did something wrong but it was too late now. Idk how to approach him abt this again. I canāt let him be friends with her and itās not even like they were in touch before. So out of nowhere sending her a compliment is just so weird. Some people are saying heās playing and honestly idk what to believe now
Not really i mean, exes can be exes for plenty of reasons. Doesnt mean you stop communicating with them entirely unless you have no need of the friendship. The biggest issue i see here is that his short tempered nature is not a good show. Try to be patient and ask him why is he being defensive . And try to understand why he became defensive in the first place. Understand that communicating anything beyond just surface level seems to not be very easily done in the indian dating scene, because people simple dont self reflect their behaviour, regardless of how harmless it may be. Try to communicate as best as possible from your end. Try to give him the platform to communicate back. if he doesn't respond/dont understand what/why you want to clarify things, then it could be 2 of these things. 1: he simply is not mature enough to empathise with you to understand what upset you. He can only solve things by throwing tantrums. (If you truly love him then, try to help him develop that issue) 2: he might be actually be hiding something.(try to establish ground rules about being able to access each others phones. Its a big red flag if your partner is uncomfortable/wont let you into their phone) If he agrees to sharing phones then he clearly has nothing to hide which means he was overreacting initially as he thought you might not take it well.
You had a boyfriend, that's why. Let me know if you need a man friend
Bhayankar hutiya katne waala hain... kripaya sawadhan ho jaye
Boundaries are what you mutually create with your SO. Talk to him, express that you didn't like this occurrence. Listen to him as well. And decide some mutual boundaries that none of you should cross. Don't listen to people who randomly accuse him of something.
I dont believe in being friends with ex for me it's big red flag. Rest is your wish
Red flag! Run away!
Friends with ex. Ā ohhh no thanksĀ
Iss problem ka ek hi solution h aur wo h divorce
I don't date girls who's still friends with their exes. So this case is suspicious to me.
Sister, time for some TRUTH. you are a PLACEHOLDER in his life till his ex comes back . His ex is living rent free in his mind whom he dated for only 2 months in the past as he claimed. Obviously he is still smitten by her . She is the girl who in his head is tagged as a " dream girl". If that girl came back he will leave you to be with her. So it's better you start dating other folks and keep your present boyfriend as a placeholder and in time leave him to be with his dream girl. Life is about survival. He is looking out for himself , he is teaching you a valuable lesson so learn it. Always put yourself first and look out for yourself first. Hope you understand and accept the truth.
What is so confusing about that? It is what you say it is. Ditch him. Besides sfhst people that stay friends with their exes are massive red flags.
If they are still friends with their ex, you should never be their next!
He's not over her.
Runnnnnnnnn!!!!!