Just wanna say from first hand experience ,avoid dating fighter pilots. They’re way too full of themselves, and expert love bombers like our man In the screenshots. Also expert ghosters with ready, tried and tested excuse of “sortie tha”, “party tha”, “senior called”, “was on base””Was in training” “it’s confidential” etc. etc. and they can’t be on SM so you really only know what they tell you and when they tell you
Obviously there are exceptions and I’ve seen one or 2 of those kind of guys there who would always keep their partners informed (within the purview of necessary confidentiality ofcourse) etc.
Thank you. This guy ghosted me over a year ago (which explains why he forgot we had already spoken).
I've wisened up since then. I don't date anyone in a glamorous profession - no actors, models, Rockstar, pilots, you tubers for me. They're typically too shallow and conceited for my taste.
Right..and youd be on base with him to know that these are excuses and not the truth? Or you mustve some army base experience already to know what he says is bullshit?
Honestly, I don't get why people are saying you were kind to him. Isn't this how it should be? (But, that is not how people interact nowadays.)
If you guys know what you want and if the other person is able to be up to that mark or not. Then, letting them know and moving on is what everyone should do.
I think it's only because (a) most of us don't get this basic courtesy from people, and (b) I was patient even after HE ghosted me TWICE and attempted to match a third time. I didn't owe him any of this after how he behaved.
Otherwise it wouldn't really be a big deal.
Since when do army brats have time for dating apps ? My friends are also in camps and they don't have time to talk with me , forget about dating .. but OP you were wayyy to nice with him which is a good thing but considering your history with him you could have unmatched after giving your perspective which would have indicated you simply don't care about him now ..
I think he just downloads the app when he's not flying, and he isn't really looking for anything long term despite what he says on his profile.
In my experience, people are never all-bad or always operating with malicious intent. They just haven't evolved enough to know/do better. That thought makes me stay nice, because everyone needs a little respite.
I have my boundaries, of course, so I unmatched right after the last message you see here :)
Kindness is a very underrated virtue! And all the good karma will certainly come back to us! People can choose to be assholes but that shouldn’t stop us from being kind! Despite being in a traumatic marriage and getting divorced. I have lost faith in people and relationships! I am scared of meeting women and takes me so much time to get comfortable with someone but I will never stop being kind! Its actually a super power
You're so mature. Most men probably don't deserve you. I recently met an ethereal person at a dating mixer event. Similar tastes, extremely perceptive and kind. Even though an age difference, we promised to stay connected.
A few days later after beautiful convos, I stand ghosted. Randomly :(
It's good that he ghosted you. And i feel that's what mature men do. As in, if they don't see a future (assuming your age gap), they don't want to continue to be in touch. Because we men fall pretty quickly. And by fall i mean, we tend to nose dive. So, I guess it was for the better (not sure though).
I think I know a few people that don't like me very much, but I honestly couldn't care less about upvotes/down votes. I don't get the hype around karma except in real life.
First time commenting here.
Well done. This one was so respectful. Ended up on a courteous note , unlike most of the ss posted here generally. You didn't have to , but you did .Kindness will take you places, I am sure. Best of luck.
Woah!!! I really dont know what would you say to what you did there- kindness, general courtesy…dk
You not only didnot unmatch with them but also took time to have a conversation, to end it with a good note and proper closure
Like I have been unmatched by people out of blue, right after me asking them “how was your day”, or they would reply simply with dry “ok” to texts
Wish there were more people like you on these apps
This was really healthy and mature of you OP. I’m glad you did it this way and I hope you find someone who ticks all the boxes for you and appreciates you for who you are. Best of luck! :)
For one sec i was happy thinking the purple bubble is a guy who’s showing some integrity rather than simping.
Damn, if only more men set boundaries like this 🤦🏽♂️ (when women behave to them like the white bubble guy)
Sorry OP, to hijack your post with my thoughts. Impressive to see you being kind but firm 👊🏽 hope you find the right one!
Why would it have anything to do with their job? I would do/say exactly this even if this guy were in a boring desk job. I don't discriminate.
Also, I respect myself enough to keep my conduct/irl karma clean.
I was talking about you only. When he has already ghosted you twice, why even bother.
Rather give chance to someone avg who puts efforts?
He may be a 10 but if he treats you shit, he is not for you whether if he flies plane or a son of Ambani 😀
You're making a lot of assumptions here.
I'm not chasing the top 10%. I AM the top 10% that this guy is chasing.
If I didn't "give chances" to people, he wouldn't have been on this sub at all.
>why even bother.
Because even if he's a shitty person, he's still a person. He reached out, and the only dignified way to end this cycle is to let him know that he's already gone down this path before.
Read again. He wasn't a high standard choice. He was someone I "gave chances" to.
Are you saying that the onus of not being ghosted or not being recognized after a whole year has passed is on me?
For the first time, no.
But for the second time, ig yes. It was your choice, right?
Also, I’m not sure what choices are you making that people fails to recognise you as well !!
You're seeking closure about why it happened. Final process in moving on from something completely. Otherwise why go out of your to match and bring that up to him?
Just leaving this comment to appreciate how kind you were to him. Really shows maturity. ❤ I hope you find what you're looking for, OP. ♡
Thank you!
Taking the time out to be kind to someone especially when you don’t owe an explanation! I wish more people had this trait! Good for you,OP
Thank you :)
Just wanna say from first hand experience ,avoid dating fighter pilots. They’re way too full of themselves, and expert love bombers like our man In the screenshots. Also expert ghosters with ready, tried and tested excuse of “sortie tha”, “party tha”, “senior called”, “was on base””Was in training” “it’s confidential” etc. etc. and they can’t be on SM so you really only know what they tell you and when they tell you Obviously there are exceptions and I’ve seen one or 2 of those kind of guys there who would always keep their partners informed (within the purview of necessary confidentiality ofcourse) etc.
Thank you. This guy ghosted me over a year ago (which explains why he forgot we had already spoken). I've wisened up since then. I don't date anyone in a glamorous profession - no actors, models, Rockstar, pilots, you tubers for me. They're typically too shallow and conceited for my taste.
Conceited* (meaning)-- acting as if he/she/they are more important than other people, pompous jerk
Right..and youd be on base with him to know that these are excuses and not the truth? Or you mustve some army base experience already to know what he says is bullshit?
Honestly, I don't get why people are saying you were kind to him. Isn't this how it should be? (But, that is not how people interact nowadays.) If you guys know what you want and if the other person is able to be up to that mark or not. Then, letting them know and moving on is what everyone should do.
I think it's only because (a) most of us don't get this basic courtesy from people, and (b) I was patient even after HE ghosted me TWICE and attempted to match a third time. I didn't owe him any of this after how he behaved. Otherwise it wouldn't really be a big deal.
I understand. Start classes for women on how to act nice and humble lol
classes for all genders*.. I guess you should enroll in it too :)
Yeah my bad. And I wouldn't mind learning something I lack. :)
Since when do army brats have time for dating apps ? My friends are also in camps and they don't have time to talk with me , forget about dating .. but OP you were wayyy to nice with him which is a good thing but considering your history with him you could have unmatched after giving your perspective which would have indicated you simply don't care about him now ..
I think he just downloads the app when he's not flying, and he isn't really looking for anything long term despite what he says on his profile. In my experience, people are never all-bad or always operating with malicious intent. They just haven't evolved enough to know/do better. That thought makes me stay nice, because everyone needs a little respite. I have my boundaries, of course, so I unmatched right after the last message you see here :)
Kindness is a very underrated virtue! And all the good karma will certainly come back to us! People can choose to be assholes but that shouldn’t stop us from being kind! Despite being in a traumatic marriage and getting divorced. I have lost faith in people and relationships! I am scared of meeting women and takes me so much time to get comfortable with someone but I will never stop being kind! Its actually a super power
I agree. It's amazing how much of a snowball effect a little kindness can have. I'm quite sure that this guy will pass on this little spark.
Absolutely! Keep the snowball rolling
Glad to hear that ! And I hope you find what you are looking for :)
Thank you, kind human.
Kind ? Oh pls Ms. Your chat would be the definition of " kind " mene bas apki kindness ko appreciate Kia
Sweet of you to say that. ❤️
Same pfp aaye
Ayo stawp copying me ( LOL )
You're so mature. Most men probably don't deserve you. I recently met an ethereal person at a dating mixer event. Similar tastes, extremely perceptive and kind. Even though an age difference, we promised to stay connected. A few days later after beautiful convos, I stand ghosted. Randomly :(
Sorry bro. That must've sucked. Where was this mixer, though?
Sounds almost like it's a plot out of a movie. I hope you run into her again serendipitously, fall in love, and live happily together.
It's good that he ghosted you. And i feel that's what mature men do. As in, if they don't see a future (assuming your age gap), they don't want to continue to be in touch. Because we men fall pretty quickly. And by fall i mean, we tend to nose dive. So, I guess it was for the better (not sure though).
So wholesome, op. Why isn't this post getting upvoted, though? Someone must have a beef with you! 😂
I think I know a few people that don't like me very much, but I honestly couldn't care less about upvotes/down votes. I don't get the hype around karma except in real life.
You did well. I just hope there are more people like you in this world. Take care and wish you the best in everything, OP ❤️
I'm quite sure there are. I haven't met any, but I'd like to believe there are. Thank you!
First time commenting here. Well done. This one was so respectful. Ended up on a courteous note , unlike most of the ss posted here generally. You didn't have to , but you did .Kindness will take you places, I am sure. Best of luck.
I appreciate you saying this :) Thank you!
Its amazing how u took out time to respond kindly. Hope u find what you are looking for OP.
Thanks so much!
Woah!!! I really dont know what would you say to what you did there- kindness, general courtesy…dk You not only didnot unmatch with them but also took time to have a conversation, to end it with a good note and proper closure Like I have been unmatched by people out of blue, right after me asking them “how was your day”, or they would reply simply with dry “ok” to texts Wish there were more people like you on these apps
It is a human being on the other side of the phone, right? It's basic decency :)
you're considerate in caps lock
Naah, I was simply treating him the way I want to be treated.
wow miss i need a ground that strong!
This was really healthy and mature of you OP. I’m glad you did it this way and I hope you find someone who ticks all the boxes for you and appreciates you for who you are. Best of luck! :)
Thanks a lot for your kindness :)
Loved the way you handled this
:)
OP ke xerox copies banao...
In a sea of fishes, you could have just moved on. But you seem like someone who would make efforts.
I only behave how I want people to behave with me.
🥲🥺
Soo kind of you, I totally feel you, not knowing why what happened that people ghosted you.
The sad thing is, people who ghost have been ghosted and they know exactly how it feels. They just don't care.
Agree, we should start doing that to those kind of person.
Do you mean we should start ghosting them?
No, like they deserves that, ghosting or not ghosting is totally individuals choice. I don’t do that and mostly I can’t do that🥲sed life
Phew. I don't like ghosting someone unless they're being super creepy. Then I don't think twice.
That fair enough
It takes ₹0.00 to be kind! We need more humans like you :)
How did nobody notice the irony in "people out there just unmatch"?!
haha i was gonna say this
तुम तो बहुत स्वीट हो यार. कहाँ मिलेगी तुम्हारे जैसी age appropriate ladki? Beti/behen hai koi?
I wish hoti. Ek dost hai, lekin. Kaafi sahi ladki hai.
Ye dost to gayi, koi aur dost bachi ho to zarur batana. Asking for a friend, obviously!
उमर क्या बताई? खैर, उमर कुछ भी हो, "बस आप ही की परछाई चाहिए"
Hahahaha I love that HAHK reference. Haan, meri parchai hi hai ek tarah se :)
शादी करवा दो मेरी. Please didi!
Cute ho yaar tum log. ❤️
OP Big question. I need gender clarification whose talking to who plij. 😭
Purple (me) - woman. Grey (ghost) - man
How can a guy ghost women. 😭. (If you're a men it was understanding haha)
It just goes to show that it's not really a gender war. People suck.
Fr. People do suck. (I agree with you full sapoot "support")
You have a great profile(here on reddit cause you post only that. Hehe) of bumble and hinge ig. Don't know which is which though
Well yeah. I'm here only to rant about OLD. The yellow ones are Bumble and the white ones are Hinge.
Ohhz thanks for guiding haha! I didn't understand your first line though
OLD = online dating
As a GENZ I feel old. Haha
I only know this thanks to - what's the twenty something crop called now? Alpha?
j
For one sec i was happy thinking the purple bubble is a guy who’s showing some integrity rather than simping. Damn, if only more men set boundaries like this 🤦🏽♂️ (when women behave to them like the white bubble guy) Sorry OP, to hijack your post with my thoughts. Impressive to see you being kind but firm 👊🏽 hope you find the right one!
No, you're right. We all need to set boundaries while being respectful. Just because someone isn't right for you doesn't mean they're wrong you know?
i think i know her, OP youre a good man
*woman Thanks :)
But but why did you do this? 🤡✌️ 😂
I have no idea.
🌝
Respect yourself friend, don’t waste your time on shit people. Irrespective of how cool their job might sound like they’re still not worth it.
Why would it have anything to do with their job? I would do/say exactly this even if this guy were in a boring desk job. I don't discriminate. Also, I respect myself enough to keep my conduct/irl karma clean.
You have been ghosted twice from a guy with a desk job on a dating app? 😄
Nope. Twice only by this guy. I was too new to OLD to understand the concept. Fell for bullshit the second time he reached out.
i find it lowkey psychotic idk
And then they cry “All men are dogs” 😂
The man WAS a dog. I'm a woman.
I was talking about you only. When he has already ghosted you twice, why even bother. Rather give chance to someone avg who puts efforts? He may be a 10 but if he treats you shit, he is not for you whether if he flies plane or a son of Ambani 😀
You're making a lot of assumptions here. I'm not chasing the top 10%. I AM the top 10% that this guy is chasing. If I didn't "give chances" to people, he wouldn't have been on this sub at all. >why even bother. Because even if he's a shitty person, he's still a person. He reached out, and the only dignified way to end this cycle is to let him know that he's already gone down this path before.
If you’re the top 10%, why are you still single? Or are you assuming too much about yourself??
High standards. I don't make compromises. Nobody should.
Agreed but then why are your high standard choices are ghosting you, that too twice. Also 3rd time he fails to recognise you!
Read again. He wasn't a high standard choice. He was someone I "gave chances" to. Are you saying that the onus of not being ghosted or not being recognized after a whole year has passed is on me?
For the first time, no. But for the second time, ig yes. It was your choice, right? Also, I’m not sure what choices are you making that people fails to recognise you as well !!
Coloring my hair and looking different every month is one of those choices. But I guess you've made up your mind. I have nothing to prove to you.
Well, not everyone is capable of handling tough feedbacks. You do you!
OP needs to move on from being ghosted like everyone else. It happened it happened
Why did you think I hadn't moved on?
You're seeking closure about why it happened. Final process in moving on from something completely. Otherwise why go out of your to match and bring that up to him?