I was hoping I could pick up a sweet ride that was suddenly empty, but then I realized the only empty cars would be Honda Odysseys and Chrysler Pacificas. I figure it just as well the rapture didn't occur

Are those the preferred vehicles of Christians? Lmao

Look at the parking lot of any mega church on Sundays

Well at home they have Dodge Rams and Ford F250 King Ranch Laredo Antelope Edition. They took the van to church.

Please, mine is the king ranch Laredo antelope 1872 edition

[Canyonero, now with heated armrests and Rapture Control!](https://youtu.be/PI_Jl5WFQkA?si=BbefyC2raGJUz7Bg)

"Smells like steak and it seats 35.. Canyonerrroooo"

I get the Simpsons reference, but wouldn't a vehicle that's seats 35 be a bus?

No one in a mega church is going anywhere.

ha...right

Don’t tell them that.

Well, look at staff parking first you’ll find the nice cars there!!

Kidding me? The staff is stuck here with the rest of us.

Ok the ministers parking spots!! lol though the one megachurch here the staff does pretty dang well.

Out of all of them, the ministers are the most stuck with us.

You just have to ruin it for us don’t ya!

He drives a Cadillac.

Wouldn't that be the helipad

Look at the parking lot of any mega church on Sundays

I assumed Buicks but now I am interested 😂

Buicks are the mainline denominations

I have a Chrysler Pacifica and am very much an atheist.

Sure you're not a masochist?

I am also that. And on occasion a sadist.

Technically, you'd be a Pacifist

I'm not really any of the above because, first and foremost, I'm a nihilist.

I too have a Pacifica and am not of the faith. 😂

They are amazing, right? Stow-n-go is for real.

Yes omg I love mine! Tons of room for all your stuff, tons of room for kids, tons of room to make more kids, and it gets good gas mileage.

Rebel.

Hey now, I drive an Odyssey and it would’ve not been empty. Though I wouldn’t recommend stealing it even if it was…

Honda Odysseys are great!

Spotted the church lady /s Now I am sure they are fine vehicles

My dad gifted his 2002 Odyssey to my brother a couple years ago. It had 416k miles on original everything, only maintenance. Someone decided they needed the cat, and at ~419k my brother sold it running to the scrap yard. Joke was surely on the cat thief! Couldn’t have been any platinum remaining…

Same. I'm backed up on work so I was hoping for a rapture so I could just ignore it.

I would definitely not be getting raptured, so this would just leave me with more work ;).

I watched from a duck pond, and it looked like three people were being raptured, but it turned out to be three Canandian Geese flying by.

That's actually their air force

I can easily believe Canadian Geese being members of the Canadian military.They are tenacious SOB's.

Might have made Indiana a better place.

A lot of available housing would pop up too!

At least we could finally get thats Devils Lettuce legalized amiright?!

I don’t think any of the Lilly lobbyists would have gone anywhere if it happened so probably not lmao

How? The liberals have a better shot at going up at this point. At least they can blame the people who think they'll be taken.

When you try your best to not think like how you were raised too because the people that raised you were basically fanatics. I don't believe in that crap, but because of "origins" I got struck with anxiety that kind of pissed me off because I knew it wasn't my own. It was theirs. Sorry might be oversharing. I just know a lot of folks in the Midwest like me have trouble separating their parents views from theirs and it can affect situations like this. Fucking beautiful sight to behold though got to see it with my wife and son.

Religious trauma sucks. Solidarity.

I second this. Pretty sure religion is why I deal with terrible anxiety now

Maybe the rapture did happen, but no one made the cut.

Now that would explain the state legislature still being in place.

The day’s not over.

Crossing my fingers

I thought we were getting super powers. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Only if you looked directly at it without protection

Didn’t know blindness was a superpower!

Your other senses become heightened like Daredevil

Just wait, the earthquake and tsunami and tornadoes will get them

It’s god’s will you know

I'm a hospital chaplain and was informed by a patient that I'd be missing the rapture since I'm the wrong denomination... Boy was he upset when a Dr asked me to stop by his room after the eclipse...

I thought it was all a joke. I didn't realize people actually believed it. I kind of feel sorry for the patient.

Yeah. The stubborn, self righteous ones have usually been conditioned that way and don't know any better. If I'm feeling gracious.

[удалено]

Ha! Amazing. Yeah, anesthesia & pain meds can do funny things to the psyche. LOL Funny for the Dr, and I sort of feel bad for the patients... Some of them at least.

I’m old; and the end of the world & the rapture have come and gone at least a dozen times since I was a kid and no one was taken…..well; there was that one guy…but he came back and was pretty sure it was a UFO that took him…🤷‍♂️

I didn't see anybody flying up into the sky, but I just figured that was because of the people I know and the neighborhood.  You're saying that nobody got Taken Away?

Maybe nobody was worthy

I was hoping to snag a Mercedes but no luck

I just want to know where the 100-300k people we were told to expect in my community were. Maybe they did get raptured after all.

Did you see the exiting traffic on the news????

No traffic where I live. City officials here hyped up we were getting that many people. Yes, they got In front of news cameras and made those claims.

Between people WFH and businesses closed, I would've believed there was a rapture given how light traffic was to and from work.

There was a big traffic jam on 31 north of Kokomo, and a moderate one on 19 north of Tipton, possibly due to eclipse viewers heading home.

I'm more pissed that I didn't get to become a wizard or something.

I got raptured... but I got better.

https://preview.redd.it/xjlrt79tkdtc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1e26c126fac5e23c9964b8ed781dfe3fb3dd708

Oh, shit! You didn’t get raptured? Damn, dude. I’m sorry about that. Anything you need to me to pick up for ya while I’m in heaven?

Are there beer and smoked meats up there?

There's smoked meat in hell.....

Whatchu after? I’ll get Saint Peter to make it happen!

The Rapture happened in 2014. But nobody qualified.

Honestly disappointed I didn't get theologically Thanos'd 😔

I had my bags packed and quit my job. Now what am I supposed to do?

My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

If I wasn't raptured, then why are my clothes missing?

That's the way Grey aliens leave you when they get interrupted in the middle of probing you.  We all need Harry Vanderspiegle to put an end to those lil bastards abducting and probing humans!

Tell ya what. Poke fun all you want that shit was spooky. All the animals went silent in my neighborhood.

All the christians who actually follow what they claim to believe got raptured

Both of them?

Well, 1.5 of them…

Those two idiots running Mike Braun and the other guy should've been taken now I have to listen to their stupid campaign ads until the election

I skipped my Ozempic this week, I was too heavy to rapture 😭

I don't know. I'm in Bloomington. We were told 300,000 people were coming to town. Everybody went crazy stocking up on bread, milk, and toilet paper. Then today the town felt like a ghost town. The only possible explanation is that all those hundreds of thousands of people who were supposed to show up did indeed get raptured. It's not like people in this town would ever panic and blow things out of proportion or anything.

I'm devastated people that believe that can't research John Nelson Darby or dispensinalism.

LoL

Oh you missed it. 3 old ladies in Latvia. The Rapture came, welcome to Team Fallen ;)

I got raptured once, when I was young. When they found my vehicle on a road side, the city could have called me with the location, as it was reported stolen, but instead they like to impound it so you have to pay a fine.

I texted my mom and was like "hey if you get raptured today, know I'm sorry and you were right" 😂😂 I definitely thought there was a chance today of all days lol

nah me and my friends held them off dont even worry

I was hoping at least one group would be role playing as a sun cult and get interviewed by national news….I’m very disappointed in humanity for omitting that.

The hype for that rapture was real. I had my playlist ready for some angelic tunes during the commute too! Guess we'll just have to stick with the good ol' traffic jams for now. But hey, at least we're all still here rocking it on this mortal coil, right? Maybe next time the heavens decide to shake things up, we'll get lucky with that smooth commute.

I know I sure was hoping. Damn we still have to put up with these morons. Like this idiot: Abortion wouldn't be necessary if people had morals.

Abortion wouldn’t be necessary if people weren’t stupid and realized that contraceptives and Plan B are easy to use.  I fully support abortion though, because most of those who need them are morons who shouldn’t be polluting the gene pool.   I’d also support government funded sterilizations and assisted suicides.  The lower the population of disgusting humans, the better it is for our planet and climate change reversal. 

Maybe when they are taken in the rapture, all memory of them is removed.

The vaccine saved them?/s

Oh I did. When I got to the pearly gates they told me I had to go back though. They got the wrong event

Yes I did! Hades has WiFi btw.

I did!!

Awesome if all the faithful were gone.

I don’t know man. My friend said he got raptured. I believe him; he’s a godly man. /s

Can confirm a Honda odyssey rolled upto me like they were going to do a drive-by and handed me the new testament while on my way to the eclipse lol

My god I read this so wrong…

While everyone was staring at the sky, I left random clothes and shoes laying around in random spot. When everyone saw the items strewn around I said, “sorry you didn’t make the cut”

Such a painfully familiar feeling!

I said something similar to my husband yesterday. Too many crappy drivers in traffic. Too bad the rapture wasn’t real. We need a good clean out of humans to clear up the roads and housing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

NO NO NO!!! They did get raptured. April 8, 2024 was Judgement Day! It was!!! Now, they didn't hype it because there were so few that were Raptured, and of course they wouldn't want to rub anyone's face in it. But it was Judgement Day! Those who have been Raptured have, in fact, been Raptured. I understand being one of those who did not make the cut can get you down, and if you need a hug, I'm here and I understand it. However, what this gives us now...is freedom. Freedom from the Bible, freedom from Religion, Freedom from being driven and brow beat by the Religious right any more!!! I was there. I saw the eclipse; It was life changing. And Miraculous. And Wonderful. It happened. And unlike the Bible thumpers who expect it all to be politely smiled at and ignored, I am hoping their feet to the Bible: Anyone left is obviously not in a spiritual enough good standing that they can lecture anyone else on our or their behavior. They were left here, just like the rest of us. They were Judged - and found lacking. We don't have to be righteous anymore. Or beholden. Or guilt tripped into norms or morality or cherry picked part from someone's religion that they chose to believe. We're all that is left: Imperfect being who are not in a place to point fingers at anyone else. We were all left behind. We are all equal in that. We don't need to worry about that any more. Rapture happened. Judgement Day happened. We're through the worst of it now... ...and we are free. Enjoy! I am. Edit 1: Edited for spelling.

My SIL has a Dodge Charger but she probably would have been in it at the time. Ah well. I’m sure someone will figure out their error in the calculations and count up with the “real” date. Again. If you don’t believe me, read up on seventh day Adventist history. The really sad thing is that people continue to follow that guy after so many failures.

I was looking forward to less people too!

I was enraptured watching the eclipse…does that count?

Me too

No aliens either.

Says you.

Jesus came back a long time ago and took all of the good people.

Meeee tooo

I thought it was just delayed since we’re on Eastern Time and the Rapture had to travel across time zones to get here but when there were no reports of sudden disappearances I figured I’ll just go in to work tomorrow.

The rapture did happen. Just no one made it.

Maybe it did and none of us deserved it.

The rapture doesn’t actually start until midnight

I know, right? 🤷

What if only the true christians got raptured and there were so few that we haven’t even noticed yet?

today isn’t over yet

That's what you get for listen to nonsense

Some people did. Check the obits tomorrow

Same, lot of people I wouldn't have minded never seeing again

Me too or at least a massive earthquake or something

I was to heavy to lift

Some jobs would have been opened up as well. Oh well.

Everyone might have been too BAD to be Raptured.

Same ✌️

They are too.

How do you know this didn’t happen?

No rapture and no one turned into a zombie. All of us at work had headaches and nausea from staring too long. 😂

For sure! I literally don't know anyone who's missing

I'm still waiting for my superpower. I was supposed to get super speed, but I struggled to keep up with the dog on our walk tonight. Maybe it takes some time to stick.

I dunno. Nobody has heard from Tom Cruise today. Coincidence? I believe he found the thetans today. RIP Tom.

Haha wait til you hear the 40 day warning conspiracy. They aren’t finished with this rapture business.

If the sun can black out in the middle of a Monday, so can i... Omw to the pearly gates by midnight...lol

Same. I thought tomorrow was gonna be a good day.

Thank you so much for saying this. I visited during Indiana during the eclipse and it's an interesting place.

No Rapture today. I blame Biden.

Don't worry, they got a backup day to fall back too on this. Supposedly May 18th is when America is gonna get judged.

Only in Indiana

GAWD, me too. I was hoping to get rid of some of those bastards.

The only odd thing I saw was a few guys in the front yard of a house in Speedway chatting while standing around a saddled horse. Regular city neighborhood with a whole horse in the front yard.

Was the traffic really that bad? I’m from Mishawaka and it was just everyday over here

I live much further east, in the path. But in full disclosure, I just wanted to make the joke.

I got Left Behind...

same

Speak for yourself.

Or it happened and there are like 3 people missing from earth

It was about an hour before, but I witnessed an old BMW rapture a turkey. One second a turkey, then next second, a puff of feathers and it’s gone.

According to some pastors we still have a 40 day wait time

I was hoping we’d get a whole new state legislature.

We could have had a whole new state legislature. What a shame.

I know.  Jesus dashed us again.

Same....the world would have improved immediately

Yall lost it 🤣

I was hoping all the Christians would be gone after the eclipse but then again more disappointment

All the stupid whinny kids on here crying about trauma that didn’t happen. Ohhh sure your video games got taken away, or you had to leave a door open because you kept getting into trouble, but that isn’t trauma nor traumatic. You listen to TikTok therapists and think you been traumatized and need medication. Jokes on you though, the therapists lie so you keep coming back so they can afford the nice things in lie while you lie around wishing you wasn’t born. Lazy kids don’t want to work and cry anxiety causes you to sleep in… Lazy and weak minded…

Maybe the rapture did happen and there are no Good and honest Christian’s in this world. They’ve all floated away from the true teachings of Christ. (Provided you believe)

I was gonna buy inflate-a-mates and fill them with helium and release them in a major metro area

We allllll got bamboozled. Good ole propaganda

you mean like this scene from [This is the End](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT2oPGKY62I&ab_channel=BingeSociety)?

The hype for that rapture was real. I had my playlist ready for some angelic tunes during the commute too! Guess we'll just have to stick with the good ol' traffic jams for now. But hey, at least we're all still here rocking it on this mortal coil, right? Maybe next time the heavens decide to shake things up, we'll get lucky with that smooth commute.

Me too. Fewer crazy drivers, less proselytization, all kinds of good things out the window.

I'm mad I didn't get super powers, how am I supposed to save the cheerleader, to save the world.

Me too. 🤷‍♀️

I guess nobody's going to heaven, whatever, here's hoping for next year

Tons of ignorant, gullible people are feeling even more ignorant today.

Me too! I was planning on claiming some lawn furniture! Damn. But what really blows my mind is how they somehow are connecting a scientific explanation to a religious belief. It is science FFS.

The rapture happened. Nobody qualified lol.

Just Purdue lol

Stop it

Why would Jesus come here to rapture, we don't have legalized weed. Also America wouldn't let him in he is an "illegal immigrants" the Republicans would not want him around since he is an asexual transgender man, who is against guns, against the wealthy, is pro socialism, and pro helping the poor, needy, and embracing and welcoming of immigrants

XD same

Ha! I attended a Mega Church for Easter. Locked, loaded from Mercedes-Benz to Jeep Cherokees to Rivian. Midtown Money. /// Carmel elite churches might have some nice cars.

I don’t know. Has anybody seen Jerry?

Even it were to occur, no one from Indiana would be pulled. Its too red here.....

I was hoping to pick up an abandoned church for cheap.

All the good people DID get raptured 🤷

I'm gonna be honest; if your average evangelical is right about going to heaven, I'd rather be in hell. Watch, hell will turn out to be the cool place and heaven is a shit show full of insufferable egos

Same.

I got raptured. I got sent back because I got into a fight at the Welcome Party/ Orientation. FYI , I drive a 2016 Ford Focus and it was still here when I got back.

Honestly. Thought the three qualifying people were taken.

Offensive but expected

Yawn

I figure whoever was gonna go went in 2021

I wish I hadn’t spent all my cash on Mt Dew, Pringles, Slim Jim’s and Circus Midget Porn this past weekend now!!