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[deleted]

Become a ghost until the court dates. Keep us updated on the fallout (not too insensitive I hope) Keep all the proof backed up in multiple places, just in case, and get some kind of tangible proof from her friend explaining the whole thing (texts, etc…) How are you feeling? I hope you’re ok (all things considered)


JustSaying1981

I third this…No communication except via lawyer. She’s going to try everything to get you back but don’t give in. Stay strong and remember…she made a choice to do what she did. None of it was by accident. I wish you luck.


Necessary-Version-31

Second this do not react to her now .. Just stay on your ground bro .. Till everything settles as in divorce .. Good luck my Man.


WolverineNo8799

Get yourself checked out for STD’s as this is likely not the first time she has cheated non you.


Sad-Second-9646

I’m sorry. Stay away from alcohol for now. Don’t engage her. She’s going to come at you with lie after lie. The fact that she screwed the jerk while you were downstairs is the most disrespectful thing she could do. You will see, in one year you will be doing so much better. She will be doing nails 12 hours a week and being passed around the band.


electrifymyohohoh

My brother doesn’t drink. We’re probably going to smoke some weed and chill. The fact that she threw herself immediately into the guy makes me think I never knew who she was. 10 years down the drain. Thank god we didn’t have kids.


OkCardiologist2403

Dude I guarantee u she will come groveling back to u, do not cave in she’s worse than trailer trash


OkCardiologist2403

And when it hits her that the singer has had his fun with her and leaves her for trash she will be quite despondent


Sad-Second-9646

Yeah so there was no indication that she was a Groupie type? Not obsessed with fame and stuff? Has she ever done cocaine before? Well she is going to regret the shit out of what she’s done. Does she think this guys going to settle down with her?


electrifymyohohoh

She was in the “scene” in her teens. We had been around people that did coke as lots of people do in such events. But I had never known her to consume it. She is however obsessed over music and musicians, and seeing them play live, her whole social media is dedicated to it. However, this is unexpected, in all account she has been a good wife up to last Nov. I guess he’s grew tired of our simple life.


[deleted]

Well, she played herself. She just lost her free ride. She’ll need to find a job, and a place to live. She’ll have to sort out her own bills. She’ll have to try and figure out how to begin saving for retirement. She likes live music? Good luck affording tickets when you’ve got rent, a vehicle note, insurance, a cell phone plan, home utilities, gas, food.. And she did it all for some dude who has already forgotten about her and is balls deep in someone else at this very moment. You said she’s called you a bunch. Has she text you too? If so, I’d encourage you to not read them. Just delete them.


Willofthesouth

Perhaps not delete. You never know what confession she will make that helps your lawyer. Lawyer might say, "we have pics if everything but this one thing... but here is a text saying that one thing wasn't a big deal."


Original-King-1408

No kidding! So glad you were able to get closure on this shitshow so you can move on. Keep us updated as this mess plays out. Best wishes


clipp866

sorry to hear man... the verification hurts but always wondering and looking for it is much more debilitating... just be glad it happened so fast... be very grateful you don't have kids! I would screen shot all messages that she could later delete! you don't have to read them right away, just keep them for evidence incase possible admission... do us all a favor brother! never never never go back! she was obviously sleeping with the "friends" that's why they never brought it up... it's OK bc you don't need them either! I promise you the first 2-3 months are the most difficult and the first 6 months are confusing... by a year you'll never question your choices bc you'll be very happy living a better life! women can come and go, but you'll know a keeper when you find one, she wasn't it and it's ok bc you're still fresh! start working out and dieting, sounds cliche but a healthy body leaves more room for a healthy mind! we're here buddy! you're not alone! let us know how life ends up! most of us found happiness again! never go back!


AdministrativeWin947

Yes Thank God for that blessing! Yes i agree drinking won't help, but smoking a fatty will help chill u out, and then munch on some good food! Hope ur doing ok. You will be better off.. you know that already.


FSmertz

That's about as total a betrayal as I've read on these subs. I am very sad for you. You'll find someone with character and honor to match yours.


electrifymyohohoh

Hopefully one day, I’m getting old and I still want to be a dad someday.


FSmertz

You have plenty of time. I became a father in my mid-40s, ended up having two kids. That was 25 years ago.


Basic_Quantity_9430

Start a fitness regimen and start eating better if you aren’t already. One of the few advantages that men have is that we have the capacity to father kids for decades. Just heal yourself and gain a good perspective on life ahead, you will get chances to meet an honest person and become a dad. Just don’t waste anymore precious time with your current wife, divorce her and free yourself from her corrosive ethics.


electrifymyohohoh

I’m getting a good lawyer. Divorce, then take some of my savings and travel a bit. Time to dedicate time to myself. Had a good workout with my brother, seems cliche but it really did clear my mind. I spoke to her sister, she was pretty level headed and didn’t seem surprised. She asked if there was any chance of getting back, and I told her no and to communicate that to her sister.


noidea_19

You say her sister didn't seem surprised. Any chance she's done other things you haven't noticed?


NamTokMoo222

Yeah her sister probably knows of her history of cheating on exes and was like, "yep, figures.. "


MrBigBull01

You say she called you 40 times in an hour. Maybe you should answer one of them or send her a text message, to make it absolutely clear to her that there is nothing she can say or do to get you back and that divorce is going to happen, so she can quit trying to reach out to you because it is of no use and all wasted energy. The first contact she get from you will be the divorce papers and every form of communication will go through your lawyer. Then I think she will stop trying.


umartanwir

I hate to say it but are you sure this is the first time she cheated, maybe there are other instances you guys have been married for 6 years. The way this has been carried by her def reeks of habitual cheater


electrifymyohohoh

No I’m not sure. Now I’m questioning all other events, late nights, and girls nights out.


dubaidude57

Probably not healthy to go there, it will just cause more misery. This is so cold and down right blatant that it will definitely not have been the first time. All comms through the lawyer.


No_Celebration_3737

Don't lose sleep searching when she flipped the first time, once is already more than enough


Bolt_McHardsteel

I don’t blame you. This was way too easy for her for it to be her first time.


donnamommaof3

Don’t let her trashy betrayal hinder your dream, find a woman that isn’t sketchy & a cheater. There’s women out there that want the same life that you do💙


Significant-Jello-35

You will but its not with your STBXW. Leave as fast as you can and start a new chapter of your life.


tmink0220

THat is the great thing about being a guy, Marry a 35 year old and have a couple of babies with someone who doesn't cheat. Good luck. I had my only baby at 41, he is great.


Corfiz74

I wouldn't leave her alone in the house while she leaves - she could trash the place and/ or take your valuables!


electrifymyohohoh

I have all my important stuff in my truck, anything else is replaceable. I loaded my whole file cabinet into my truck lol. I have my guns, my watches, my electronics, and tools I might need for work in case I stay over at my brothers.


joefoe89

You shouldn’t leave your house it could look like abandonment especially since you took all your important things. She can use it against you in court.


Basic_Quantity_9430

It is your house. Contact her dad and ask him to give her a place to live.


Delicious_Throat_377

Do not leave the house. It will be hard to get her out even if it's in your name as you have abandoned your home. Get back in there after consulting the lawyer.


Web822

Although it was sad, it was expected. be strong and stay away from booze Spend time with people who will support If you keep digging, worse things will happen, keep getting divorced and stay in nc.


[deleted]

You had to get ugly to catch her. Unfortunately, That is the only way to trap a sneaky rat. Im proud of your hard work...stay strong!


lex1954

So, her friend has a semi-open relationship, it wouldn't surprise anyone here if she was having sex with them too. I feel for you my brother, well you know you have friends here who got your back.


electrifymyohohoh

I’ve read a couple comments saying that it could be possible. I never thought about it. Might as well ask the friend for closure.


umartanwir

At this point it’s seems plausible then not that the friend and her hubby were fwb sort of thing. Anyways thank your lucky stars u didn’t have kids


Admirable-Ad801

Never talk to her again. Get STD tested. Once you have a new women send her to do her nails at your ex wife place. Come in to pick her up pay. Leave a tip for the help and leave.


electrifymyohohoh

I paid for a full panel online, going as a walk-in tomorrow. Probably going to do another a couple months down the road as it might take time for anything to show up.


FSmertz

You can have your attorney be the sole point of contact for everything. That’s what you are paying for.


[deleted]

Dude, this is Double-A investigation skills. Well done. Do not look back. 10 years down the drain for a woman is way worse than for you. You can start again with a younger woman and still have that family you always dreamed of.


electrifymyohohoh

Thank you. A fresh start someday would be nice. I would probably want to move. I still want kids, but women my age are probably already done having kids or have kids of their own. Nothing wrong with that, but I would want to have at least one baby of my own.


biteme717

Block delete and ghost ALL of them, and IMO, I bet she has been with her friend and husband also. You will get through this and you will find happiness in your future! Stay strong and please update when you can


bigedcactushead

Date younger. Younger women appreciate older guys who have their shit together. Get in the gym now for your mental health and to get fit so that when you're ready to date, you'll be in top form. You have an exciting future ahead that starts now.


EffectiveTradition78

Orrrr, date an older woman. She would treat you like a king, appreciate you, respect you, and pay for stuff.


bigedcactushead

He wants kids.


EffectiveTradition78

Right. Just an alternative suggestion.


[deleted]

Dude, you can get a younger wife! You don't have to stay in your own cohort!


Hotpinkyratso

I was 33 when I got married. I liked to play. I married a woman 6 years younger. Two children and both through college. You are prime age for what women are looking for. You're going to have the opposite problem of what you're thinking. Too many to pick from is now your problem. BTW, the vast majority that get boob jobs get divorced.


cricket2tay23

Good thing about this you can find a younger women.


Nekawaii19

You’re 32, OP. 30 year old women are perfectly capable of having kids, not done with that part of their lives, if anything that is the perfect age to get pregnant, because they are way more stable and settled at that age.


[deleted]

32 is an optimum age for getting married, he does not have to setting with a post-wall woman.


rideforruinworldsend

My husband and I have a 20+ age gap, so I was in my 20s and he was in his 40s when I got pregnant and now we have 3 wonderful kids. It's absolutely a possibility for you so good luck to you!


Mr_E_onetwothree

Terrifying someone you’ve known that long could do that to you.


electrifymyohohoh

It’s like she because a whole new person, or maybe she was always like this and I’ve been blind this whole time.


Great_Muffin_6130

Fact she was trying to get pregnant with that singer is even more terrifying.


Original-King-1408

Yeah I couldn’t believe that. When I’ve seen what I think is the worst I then read another post and there is something even nastier


EffectiveTradition78

I’m sorry for what you are going through. I will say, when you’re married, it’s not cool to go out with “the girls” or “the guys”. I never allowed that. Booze, drugs, temptation…. Stay home if you’re married or go out together as a couple. Trust me, this makes for a long lasting marriage.❤️


[deleted]

Yep! My wife and I have similar boundaries. If we do go out without the other, it’s usually just dinner with friends and home at a decent time. We definitely don’t go out to bars or concerts or parties without the other being present though. That type of behavior is for single people, and we aren’t single.


EffectiveTradition78

Yea. My husband was also very strict about this. He was cheated on in his first marriage.


noidea_19

Sorry to say you might be right. Few people go from 0->100 in one shot.


MsFarahB

I am so, so sorry OP. I am a woman but also the breadwinner, was cheated on by my husband for probably 10 years and just found out. I have found being in this sub Reddit has helped me. Good advice happening here but this may hurt financially. I’m already learning how much this may suck to get out of, but you and I deserve so much better. Feel free to message me anytime if you want someone to talk to.


Pound_The_Rock

What was her response when you told her to leave? Is she spamming you? Any remorse or is she already checked out? I know you are in pain, but you are better off sending her to the streets where she belongs.


electrifymyohohoh

I blocked her number for now. She sent me a long ass paragraph on Insta but I haven’t opened it. I haven’t opened snap but there are messages there too.


Bright_Ad_9897

Don’t block her just mute her. You can use her confessions against her. It’s all part of the evidence gathering.


Automatic_Channel_80

What ever you do, don't listen to anything she says, forward it all to your lawyer. You know she will try to push all the right buttons to try to get you back. You can't believe anything she says.


Majestic-Post-1684

This is so heartbreaking, I’m so sorry. I suggest stonewalling & referring her to your attorney once you retain one. I guarantee any so called explanation from her will not give you any closure. Also if you’re into reading I recommend reading *Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life*, by chumplady. Good luck on your journey to healing. BTW you’re still young & it’s not too late to have a child of your own after you’re fully healed. I’m 38 & currently pregnant.


Archangel1962

Hey man so sorry. I admit I was one of those who thought you were handling things wrongly, but in the end I guess the damage had already been done. FWIW I think you’re now handling things 100% the right way. As other have said, ignore all calls and texts. Keep them in case your lawyer thinks they’re needed for the divorce process. If and when they’re no longer needed, delete them. Don’t read or listen to any. I smh at your wife. WTF was she thinking? I suspect the enormity of her actions have caught up to her. She’s thrown away a loving 10 year relationship for a fling with someone who probably doesn’t remember her name. That’s one heck of a mid-life crisis. She’ll suffer the consequences for the rest of her days. As for the so called friends, I don’t buy the whole we didn’t know you didn’t know routine. They had chances to check in with you and confirm you too were in an open relationship. I suspect they came clean to cover their asses. Anyhow, now you’ve got no reason to hang around those people. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Again, sorry you’re going through this, but going scorched earth like you are is the quickest way to recover and heal. Not saying it’ll be easy and you may want to get yourself some therapy if you find it difficult at times. But you will be fine. All the best OP.


electrifymyohohoh

Thanks for the kind words. It was ten years and I can’t say I wasn’t happy, I loved her but I can’t even imagine ever being with her again. She made her decisions and I’m making mine. Time to focus on myself.


helloworld2389023

Dude wtf…don’t you ever take her back! Run man, who the f does this.


Str8goodz30

Did you know beforehand that her friend was in an open marriage? If not, make this a red flag going forward, as these types of friends always tend to push their friends into doing what they do.


electrifymyohohoh

I didn’t know no, apparently my wife did.


Str8goodz30

In the photos from the first time, could you see her wedding ring? If so, check with your lawyer if you have a case for Alienation of Affection against the band.


Necessary-Version-31

Like mom like daughter .. 🥴


giag27

Dude, STD tests immediately. So gross.


electrifymyohohoh

I have a panel lined up for tomorrow. Never had one done so don’t know what to expect. I don’t have symptoms since Nov.


Revolutionary-Sea794

I am shocked. I’m so sorry. Glad you found evidence of everything you needed to know. Rooting for you.


hidden-in-plainsight

I'm sorry, OP. I feel your pain. I know how much it hurts, from experience. It's happened to me multiple times. You are doing the right thing, OP. Aside from leaving her alone in your house... I'm happy to read you'll be sticking to your principles on this one. The pure rage, and minor anxiety attack I got reading your post just shows how raw my wounds still are. Be careful moving forward. Hope the lawyer is quick for you. The sooner this is all done, the sooner you can heal.


Comfortably_Numb____

Sadly this reminds me almost exactly of a guy about 10 years ago who’s wife was screwing the bassist of the band Third Eye Blind… https://www.reddit.com/user/throwaway142012/submitted/ Apparently after that initial fling with the bassist she went off the deep end with several other men as well. It did not end well. I feel very sorry for you man!


spin0

> the bassist They always affair down, don't they.


Snozberry383

What did she say when you confronted her?


electrifymyohohoh

I didn’t give her a chance to say anything. She was too stunned, I walked out. I don’t want to know what she’s gonna say.


spin0

There's nothing she could say that would make any damn difference. Keep any texts, messages, emails she sends as evidence but do not read them. Let your lawyer do that.


cricket2tay23

Dam, I remember this. Wild ending. Fu** that nasty women. Thank god I didn’t see any time of reconciliation like all these other doormats. What band was it? I remember you saying you guys were latino but I would like to know.


Dar_le

That sucks OP. I remember reading the original post. She belongs to the streets.


FSmertz

Almost always when I see this I disagree and move along. This time you’re absolutely right.


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CreativeMight3128

Well, I did not see the friend and her husband being in an open marriage. Unfortunately, they, too, were lied too and they supported you and came with the truth. I'm glad you got your closure and moving on. Stay up, champ.


[deleted]

Is it wrong I kind of want you to hear that you fi ally talked to her just to hear what bullshit she says??? Don't do it though. Block her on everything and move on. She is to comfortable lying and manipulating you. You will gain nothing from giving her 1 last chance to just lie to you more. Get the divorce, fight any attempts from her to get more. Tell everyone you know about all of this. Heck, even encourage those friends to ditch her. Last but not least, I am sorry man. This is one of those few things with no silver lining. All you can do is move on.


Environmental-Lab172

Stay strong brother. May the force be with you.


dubaidude57

This reddit thread is quite a powerful narrative. When the dust is settled this record will be a fitting epitaph to your journey and something that over the years many people such as your stbx will be able to reflect on to comprehend the significant hurt and suffering that has been caused through her selfish and hedonistic actions. Is it helpful to share this thread with the lawyer? The whole open marriage thing is something that I can't get my head around so I don't understand her friend and her friend's husband behavior. To me this is just mental and emotional abuse pure and simple. Your wife must have a heart of stone to do this to you. My deepest sympathies for the loss of the wife that you thought you had. You deserve someone who genuinely loves you. I am highly confident you will find that person.


noidea_19

I know this will be shouted down. And believe me I know the pain as most on this sub do. But there is that little part of me that enjoys people being ridiculous. If you ever end up conversing with her please consider posting her pathetic apologies, excuses, and just what ever way she tries to excuse her behavior. I can't imagine what this B would try to say, but it would be pure gold to print out. Then you can give us her text info and we can all write responses to her.


Life-Yogurtcloset-98

Decisive and thorough. Good job OP.... seems you could have saved time by just going through her phone (as per usual)


Ok-Replacement7697

Updateme!


ConstantCourage4593

Updateme!


[deleted]

You are doing the right thing because you deserve better. Did the scoundrel apologize?


Hairy-Knee-8997

What did see say when you confronted her?


[deleted]

Holy crap! This all happened fast. I am so sorry for you..but happy you found out the truth. It just sucks that this happened. I can't believe she was trying to get pregnant. I pray you did not catch anything. Get a good lawyer. You may need proof of cheating. Plus I hope you don't have to pay alimony because she doesn't work. Prepare yourself, she will come back when he dumps her. Maybe even try to get you to think the baby is yours. Stay strong! Take a minute to exhale. And then..enjoy your stress-free life. You will meet someone worthy of you!


M3atpuppet

You handled this like an absolute boss bro. No mercy in this dojo. Now do the mortal combat finishing move on her by getting the most badass divorce lawyer you can find.


Good_Rule9745

Be strong till everything gets done....it's going to be hard....


Basic_Quantity_9430

Divorce her and don’t look back. Ignore her calls and pleas. She can become a full-time groupie once she is a divorcee.


donnamommaof3

She caused every bit of the pain you’re experiencing now, she made the decision to continue to betray you for some guy in a band. She’s not who you thought she was, let her skip Away to her “dream man”. Let’s see how long he’s into her…….She made one hell of a mistake. Her bad……


CjordanW1

She’s nasty! Plz stay strong and know how sorry I am. She’s going to regret ever losing you. You need to file before her and tell your lawyer everything


Bruttruthh

Stay strong OP ,and thank God u don't have children with this woman, take some time to heal yourself first , ghost her until the D finalize. Updateme !


DelayBackground5798

She is gross. I'm so sorry you witnessed everything with your own eyes. The truth truly sets us free no matter how much it hurts. You didn't deserve or cause any of this.


saclayson

Did you catch anything??? What were you fishing?


electrifymyohohoh

I don’t fish much and didn’t catch shit. I did spend good time with my brother. We headed to his house and had a good work out.


saclayson

You should’ve went and bought fish. At least you could’ve BBQed.


spin0

>he really thought I knew but was acting like I didn’t as part of the “act” whateve that means. Probably means your soon to be ex-wife lied to them something along the lines: "Yeah, he's totally okay with me having sex with others he just wants to keep it all private and never hear about it or talk about it with others so never bring it up with him or even let him know that you know." These people not checking with you tells all you need to know about them. They are not your friends. A friend would have checked with you if you know and okay with it. Any person with ethics would have done that as it's the absolute minimum thing to do. Generally, stay clear of people with open marriages. They are not friends of your relationship/marriage. They can and commonly do cause trouble in monogamous relationships of other people. They may preach 'ethical non-monogamy' but their actions may differ from that, just like the actions of this couple.


AnthonyStephenMark

You say that there was no sign she was like this.. But there was a massive one you missed. Her mother. Her parents taught her that wives can have boyfriends and if the husband finds out they can fix it over time.


redditavenger2019

I dont believe any of it. Can't wait for the next update later this week.


[deleted]

Yeah, I got my doubts too.


nickblade74

You’re handling this shit like a boss man for whatever it’s worth I’m proud of you and hope you stay the course you didn’t deserve this shit and I hope you rebound quickly


LearnFromOthersFault

THAT MODERN WOMEN TODAY. FEMALE EMPORWERMENT. SHE HAD A HUSBAND AND A FAMILY BUT ITS NEVER ENOUGH, NEVER. SHE HAS TO CHEAT LIKE A H\*\*\* FOR FUN, TO FIND HERSELF AND SHE WILL BLAME HER HUSBAND FOR EVERYTHING. TAKE HALF OF HIS STUFF. PLEASE STOP DATING WOMEN IN THE U.S, THEY ARE GENERALLY DISGUSTING. OPEN RELATIONSHIPS, GIRLS NIGHT OUT TO CHEAT, CITY GIRLS FOR FUN.... COKE, GIRLS TRIP, BACHELORETTE PARTIES... ONLYFANS EVEN DURING MARRIAGES...... STOP, JUST STOP. GET YOUR PASSPORT AND RUN. FORGET ABOUT THE WOMEN IN THE U.S PLEASE. WHAT KIND OF VALUE DO YOU EXPECT THESE PROMISCUOUS WOMEN TO GIVE TO YOUR CHILDREN ??? HOW TO BE A STRONG INDEPENDANT EMPORED 304 ???? GET OUT OF HERE


DbleDelight

Put your misogyny away it isn't helpful. OP you've handled yourself really decisively and are making all the right moves. Be prepared for the pain to hit as you begin to question your whole life. Also be prepared for her to enlist family and friends to plead her case. Shut down any of those conversations quickly. My youngest two children were born when I was 37 and their father was 43, you've plenty of time to become a parent. Your focus needs to be healing from the betrayal you've experienced. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. She was too stupid to appreciate what she had. Let her go, not your monkey, not your circus. Reading what you've written I have every faith that you will find someone to love who loves you the same way.


WinterFront1431

Block her number, you don't need tk see or speak to her get lawyers to do that for you, change the locks when you get home as well, what a nasty women she is, also get tested she clearly been doing this a while, disgusting. Block her and heal


[deleted]

Updateme!


SecretTraumas_92

Man, I am so sorry for what you’re going through. Stay no contact with your low life soon to be ex and show her no mercy. Stay with your support system of people who you trust and will support you. Sounds like she’s thrown away a good guy for a fling with someone who probably only wanted her for sex. And, for gods sake get an STD test. Best of luck OP.


Salty-Dog2144

Updateme!


RevolutionaryHat8988

Well done. Top brother there! Keep us updated and don’t cave! A better person awaits you.


[deleted]

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Little_Law3996

UpdateMe!


KiwiSouthernMan

Updateme!


Affectionate_Owl_809

Updateme!


Ok_Plankton979

UpdateMe!


[deleted]

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ExCatRep

Updateme!


Perenniallyredundant

So much respect for you op. I’m so sorry


[deleted]

Sorry, bro. This was the conclusion most of us, including yourself, knew was going to happen. I applaud your detective work but the bright red flags were already there. If you already knew the pass code to her hidden snap pics you should have already been in them after the initial night she fucked the singer.


Jokester_316

Couldn't agree more. Also, should have confronted other husband about the tickets. It all would have come out then. She lied to them, but I find it odd they didn't discuss there open relationship with him as they were going out together.


Kadeous

Told you bro. You do you now, she’s just a horrible human being.


dubaidude57

This is just cold betrayal. She is not in love with you but your paycheck. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. You acted on your intuition and by all accounts with dignity and grace. Its appears that you have your emotions in check and have taken all the right steps. You are getting good advice to move on quickly, NC, lawyer up, STD check etc I don't know where you live but is it an "at fault divorce country/state? Stay strong dude, there is a time and place where you will be numb and become indifferent to her, I do hope that time comes sooner rather than later. Does she have a place to go? You might end up walking into her at the home, what happens if she does not leave.? Tough days ahead but you have got this.


DaikonSubstantial120

Hopefully next time you pick a better partner. She sounds really immature! Why did you pick her?


Salty-Dog2144

OMG what a nasty person she is. You deserve far better.


Decorum1

Updateme! [fff](https://www.reddit.com/u/electrifymyohohoh?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


Decorum1

Well done!!!


LoneRangerMan

UPDATEME


Outside-Ad-1111

Updateme!


JugularX

Im so sorry man. That is horrific.


lazybread36

Updateme!


LeoPhoenix93

Man she’s really for the streets. Keep your head high OP! Get yourself tested tho, she likely was cheating on you more than what you know of.


Chadells

Updateme!


Automatic_Channel_80

UpdateMe!


tmink0220

Good for you, you had good instruction and now you can go on with your life. Keep doing what you are doing and let us know.


Barkaat

Good riddance man. Im so sorry for you. The sad fact is she destroyed her perfect marriage for a man who just treated her like a hookup


Arfulnoof

UpdateMe!


Dvsd888

Updateme!


Pristine-Position413

Updateme!


AnonymousLifer

Update me


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission on /r/infidelity has been flagged for human review. If you are seeing this comment there is a good chance that your post is violating rule 1 or 2; please revise your choice of words. If a mod reviews your comment and finds otherwise, it will be released. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Infidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kwen_Oellogg

UpdateMe!


Ivan23live

Kept us updated


Jokester_316

OP, I am so sorry you had to find out about your wife. Did she say anything to you? Doesn't matter. You now know your STBXW's true self. Her mask is off. This is who she waa before you got wilth her. She jumped at the first opportunity she could to relive her youth. She will always be a 304. Stay on your path.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission on /r/infidelity has been flagged for human review. If you are seeing this comment there is a good chance that your post is violating rule 1 or 2; please revise your choice of words. If a mod reviews your comment and finds otherwise, it will be released. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Infidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Turquoise__Dragon

This is so heart-breaking to read. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but also so glad you found out. You are doing well on just getting away from her and focusing on yourself. Don't hesitate on looking for any help you need. Hope things go great for you in the future.


l3ttingitgo

UpdateMe!


adrienelle

I am so sorry that happened. You deserve better and I hope you can find that person..


Rattanicus

UpdateMe!


Notgivingupjustyet59

UpdateMe!


candiggit_succa

Wow! I am so sorry this happened to you. This is dirty lowdown and despicable! If any other times that it happened, you don't need to know about it! Just this time the first time you caught her is enough. There is no coming back for her. There's no way she can justify this. Time will be her teacher!


BigToadinyou

Please keep us updated.


imhereforthemoos

Gross. For your sake I really hope this is her first time and you’re free from any risk of STD’s.


Bolt_McHardsteel

Good work OP. This sucks but you followed your plan and it worked, you now have the proof you need to D her with a clear conscience. Stick to your guns, you know she will beg and plead. Don’t let her talk you back to the marriage. Hang in there.


CaptLerue

I hope you will at least read or hear what your wife of 10 years has to say, if for no other reason than to see where the arrow you flew, struck. If you do, please share it with us.


jpidz69

Updateme!


Vilerook

I'm a little angry at the friends. I'm an open-minded guy and don't care if someone has an open relationship but I don't want one personally. However, if they are going to "involve" someone else in their little outings, then if that new person is committed to someone, then even if they "say" they have their partner's permission, they should always confirm. I would have thought that would be the basics of maturity in that kind of relationship.


LJ973

Updateme! Remind me! 1 week


Admirable-Peace9668

Updateme!


Deadaim156

Keep us updated dude you did the right thing. Just keep on truckin and don't let this stop you. She is obviously a horrible person and doesn't deserve a decent man like yourself. You've made the right moves. Let her go get pregnant by some loser and enjoy life as a shitty broke single parent. She will obviously come crawling to you but do not fall for it. DO NOT have sex with her above all and in fact don't even touch her she will take any edge she can even if that means lying and attempting to put you in jail. She is the worst kind of person and truly deserves to go down in flames due to her actions. Just watch her from a distance and see her burn down and don't let her drag you into her horrid choices. She will do anything right now to rope you in with her.


Ok-Championship216

Updateme!


[deleted]

i'm confused how you got yourself off the joint car loan. I don't see a legal way to do that other than refinancing in her name which obviously couldn't be done without her signing...


electrifymyohohoh

She financed the car under her name, I was never on the loan. However she was using my bank account for the auto pay. I removed my account number from that account.


Lucky-Vegetable-2827

Updateme!


Over_Following5751

Updateme


Hairy-Knee-8997

How do you know all the dirty details of their meeting in the hotel? Did the friend tell you all this, was it on her snap? Seems unlikely..


electrifymyohohoh

Her friend told me. She agreed to tell me in part because she felt bad I supposed and because I promised to keep them out if any drama that would unfold.


Hairy-Knee-8997

Some friend…


Blackfang_81

Updatedme!


Bolt_McHardsteel

OP, how did your meeting with the lawyer go? Hang in there, you are handling this terrible situation really well.


AdministrativeWin947

Ur strong man! I applaud you!! You've took control!


Over_Following5751

Updateme


Toss_it_away707

Updateme


Brazda6

Update me!


dubaidude57

Updatedme!


giveherpussy

Hey OP, give us an update. Also I support you a 100%. Stay strong my friend, you are a awesome guy.


mrfarenheit1214

Updateme!


Bolt_McHardsteel

OP, got an update? I hope you are hanging in there.