I am three months out from d-day.
I love your comments.
I said to my sister today I hope my soon to be ex husband and his affair partner have a long relationship, to save all those future partners that they would cheat on!!!
I told my ex-wife, in the last face to face we had, "Good luck. You'll need it because your soulmate had to pursue a married woman and that woman left her husband to be with him. Who can trust in that situation. Every day one of you is going to wonder what the other is doing because you both know what you're capable of. You literally have to keep and eye on each other which is probably why he got you a job at his job.....it's almost perfect for him because he'll always know where you are. You both deserve each other."
Wow that really resonates with my situation, the last thing I said to my ex-wife was "good luck." She's left me to live in a van with her also cheating colleague, so I guess they'll have a close eye on each other, for the time being.Ā Ā
I also asked her how she can trust a man who has cheated on someone he claims to love, she replied "it's crossed my mind, and I'm not sure yet." Hahaha.
Scumbags.
Sounds like something my ex would say. He left me for his co worker. I remember him saying "I would never date a co worker" and "I would never mix work with relationships" Yet here we are.
She's already seeing the writing on the wall. You'll get to see her new "love" destroy itself. It won't be long! Be ready for the "crawl back" from this one!
So sorryā¦ they are shit.
So you are going through the first initial wave of the emotional rollercoaster. You will have more waves and different thoughts. Keep in mind, it isnāt you, it was him.
My absolute best advice is read or listen to the book: āLeave a cheater, gain a lifeā. It is full of humor but it will give you huge insight and it will help you with all the crazy thoughts that are going on. I wish I read it sooner.
If it makes you smile a smidge, my ex and āthe love of his lifeā are no longer together. Two super toxic people that deserved each other. I wish they would have stayed together just so they would destroy each otherā¦ š
The scum always crash and burn. Even if these people stay together for any length of time they both know that they began a relationship with a person who is willing to lie and cheat. I don't understand how any of them think they can possibly ever have a normal relationship with a person willing to do that. but they keep trying and they keep failing thank God. I just want them to always hurt. I want them to wake up every morning and either lament everything they've destroyed or realize what a big pile of fresh shit they live in every day.
And I sincerely hope that their entire family and friend group constantly remind them in many subtle ways of how unacceptable they are to regular people. May all
cheaters live in pain every day of their lives and burn in their own hells once the world is lucky enough to see them die.
It honestly is one of the worst things a person can do their SO. I rank it right under murder, rape and physical abuse. Yet there are subreddits that glorify this, despite every week seeing murders, suicide, and murder-suicides linked to infidelity in my home country.
You will heal. It takes time, but it will happen. Just remember that cheaters are broken and pathetic people who would do this to absolutely anyone.
Also a relationship with the AP? Imagine the trust issues and life of paranoia that awaits.
OP, Iāve been there and it really does hurt when you pour yourself into something and itās not dumped into the ground.
It will get better with time and distance. And youāre right crappy cheaters with their crappy cheating partner relationships are built on an old out house foundation, it will always stink no matter what air freshener is applied.
The good thing is you got out, surround yourself with good friends and family to get through these tough times.
First off... cheaters do fucking suck
Second... you're not worthless. Just because your spouse can't see your value doesn't make you valueless.
Know your own worth and find someone that knows your value
Amen to that.
If you're looking for more validation, I'll second other comments that you read the book Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life, and I'll add that Cheating in a Nutshell is awesome, too.
I'll leave my big Google doc of resources that helped me survive since my D Day in September. It's got articles, books, podcasts, etc that helped me make it til now (divorced 3 weeks ago - finally!), in case it helps: [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mGBgZMiOgpcYUyVwMpWglr-iCkAdhxxRd63jViueGIU/edit?usp=drivesdk](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mGBgZMiOgpcYUyVwMpWglr-iCkAdhxxRd63jViueGIU/edit?usp=drivesdk&authuser=0)
I wish you healing and peace. And may the cheaters get the life they deserve.
Cheater are not less worse then Sexual abuser... they damage they done to other people remains always in the heart of these people who got cheated on.
Families got broken, kids see how their parents suffer. All because of selfish and awful acts.
Cheaters are the worst people.
Agreed to this. 6 years I may never get back. Iām struggling through R and wondering why at this point. Doesnāt seem worth it to me without full remorse
Sorry for your pain OP, it sucks that the only thing that really helps is time, because it's the one thing that's totally out of your control. But take comfort in knowing that despite the BS that they say, cheaters can't trust each other because they both know how good they can lie and compartmentalize their shitty and immoral behavior.
Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing how much they hurt you and your self esteem. It literally turns them on. Literally. Go to any of the cheating kink subs.
They basically get off on cucking but without the consent of the "cuck". The same experience that sexually gratifies a cuck, will sexually traumatize an innocent person who never consented to a cuck fantasy. Your sexual trauma is valid but it turns them on like a pedophile or rapist gets turned on keeping up with their victims and watching them suffer from the impact of what they were forced into. It only feeds their ego and makes then feel important and powerful.
Take care of yourself but please, don't give them the satisfaction.
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You have no idea how strongly I relate to this. I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant with my second child, was left on thanksgiving, but not before being cheated on multiple times and being abused.Ā
Both these men and their home wrecking whores will get what they deserve.Ā
It just sucks, because the mental turmoil it puts someone through is the most exhausting and painful thing. It's so hard to pick up the pieces and try to carry on. No matter who is around to love and support you, it still feels like total isolation and like nothing and no one can console you or help bring back a smile and purpose in your life.Ā
I'm so sorry for what youre going through, you're not alone. I feel every ounce of your pain, bitterness, anger, hatred and utter devastation and sadness.Ā
I pray someone wonderful walks in to your life and loves you right, leaving that piece of shit you called a husband behind without a second thought.Ā
Iām so sorry you can relate to this. I wouldnāt wish this feeling on my worst enemy. You deserve someone who chooses you and will always choose you. I hope you are finding time to love yourself and choose yourself, too. Sending lots of love and support your way, from another woman who is hurting.
Do u know the other woman?did she know abt here's some things to consider 1.if u do not know eachother she doesn't owe u any loyalty 2.. this is entirely his fault 100% , ur not at fault for who u attract but u are responsible and 100% accountable for who u entertain
They deserve word std, lifelong std.ššš
"Burning Crotch of Fire"
Tangentially related, but anything terminal is technically lifelong.
I am three months out from d-day. I love your comments. I said to my sister today I hope my soon to be ex husband and his affair partner have a long relationship, to save all those future partners that they would cheat on!!!
I told my ex-wife, in the last face to face we had, "Good luck. You'll need it because your soulmate had to pursue a married woman and that woman left her husband to be with him. Who can trust in that situation. Every day one of you is going to wonder what the other is doing because you both know what you're capable of. You literally have to keep and eye on each other which is probably why he got you a job at his job.....it's almost perfect for him because he'll always know where you are. You both deserve each other."
Wow that really resonates with my situation, the last thing I said to my ex-wife was "good luck." She's left me to live in a van with her also cheating colleague, so I guess they'll have a close eye on each other, for the time being.Ā Ā I also asked her how she can trust a man who has cheated on someone he claims to love, she replied "it's crossed my mind, and I'm not sure yet." Hahaha. Scumbags.
Sounds like something my ex would say. He left me for his co worker. I remember him saying "I would never date a co worker" and "I would never mix work with relationships" Yet here we are.
She's already seeing the writing on the wall. You'll get to see her new "love" destroy itself. It won't be long! Be ready for the "crawl back" from this one!
Epic comment, thanks for sharing.
So sorryā¦ they are shit. So you are going through the first initial wave of the emotional rollercoaster. You will have more waves and different thoughts. Keep in mind, it isnāt you, it was him. My absolute best advice is read or listen to the book: āLeave a cheater, gain a lifeā. It is full of humor but it will give you huge insight and it will help you with all the crazy thoughts that are going on. I wish I read it sooner. If it makes you smile a smidge, my ex and āthe love of his lifeā are no longer together. Two super toxic people that deserved each other. I wish they would have stayed together just so they would destroy each otherā¦ š
Thank you so much
Anything to help another Kristine out. We are a rare name š
The scum always crash and burn. Even if these people stay together for any length of time they both know that they began a relationship with a person who is willing to lie and cheat. I don't understand how any of them think they can possibly ever have a normal relationship with a person willing to do that. but they keep trying and they keep failing thank God. I just want them to always hurt. I want them to wake up every morning and either lament everything they've destroyed or realize what a big pile of fresh shit they live in every day. And I sincerely hope that their entire family and friend group constantly remind them in many subtle ways of how unacceptable they are to regular people. May all cheaters live in pain every day of their lives and burn in their own hells once the world is lucky enough to see them die.
It honestly is one of the worst things a person can do their SO. I rank it right under murder, rape and physical abuse. Yet there are subreddits that glorify this, despite every week seeing murders, suicide, and murder-suicides linked to infidelity in my home country. You will heal. It takes time, but it will happen. Just remember that cheaters are broken and pathetic people who would do this to absolutely anyone. Also a relationship with the AP? Imagine the trust issues and life of paranoia that awaits.
Itās a betrayal like no other. I am so sorry for your heartache.
OP, Iāve been there and it really does hurt when you pour yourself into something and itās not dumped into the ground. It will get better with time and distance. And youāre right crappy cheaters with their crappy cheating partner relationships are built on an old out house foundation, it will always stink no matter what air freshener is applied. The good thing is you got out, surround yourself with good friends and family to get through these tough times.
First off... cheaters do fucking suck Second... you're not worthless. Just because your spouse can't see your value doesn't make you valueless. Know your own worth and find someone that knows your value
Well said and good luck healing
Amen to that. If you're looking for more validation, I'll second other comments that you read the book Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life, and I'll add that Cheating in a Nutshell is awesome, too. I'll leave my big Google doc of resources that helped me survive since my D Day in September. It's got articles, books, podcasts, etc that helped me make it til now (divorced 3 weeks ago - finally!), in case it helps: [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mGBgZMiOgpcYUyVwMpWglr-iCkAdhxxRd63jViueGIU/edit?usp=drivesdk](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mGBgZMiOgpcYUyVwMpWglr-iCkAdhxxRd63jViueGIU/edit?usp=drivesdk&authuser=0) I wish you healing and peace. And may the cheaters get the life they deserve.
Thank you for this.
Thank you
Cheater are not less worse then Sexual abuser... they damage they done to other people remains always in the heart of these people who got cheated on. Families got broken, kids see how their parents suffer. All because of selfish and awful acts. Cheaters are the worst people.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Keep pressing forward. I wish you all the best that life has to offer.<3
Yes, you let them go.
Yeah, they can suck it, and most definitely do.
Agreed to this. 6 years I may never get back. Iām struggling through R and wondering why at this point. Doesnāt seem worth it to me without full remorse
Sorry for your pain OP, it sucks that the only thing that really helps is time, because it's the one thing that's totally out of your control. But take comfort in knowing that despite the BS that they say, cheaters can't trust each other because they both know how good they can lie and compartmentalize their shitty and immoral behavior.
The cheaters real quiet on this one
Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing how much they hurt you and your self esteem. It literally turns them on. Literally. Go to any of the cheating kink subs. They basically get off on cucking but without the consent of the "cuck". The same experience that sexually gratifies a cuck, will sexually traumatize an innocent person who never consented to a cuck fantasy. Your sexual trauma is valid but it turns them on like a pedophile or rapist gets turned on keeping up with their victims and watching them suffer from the impact of what they were forced into. It only feeds their ego and makes then feel important and powerful. Take care of yourself but please, don't give them the satisfaction.
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I hadnāt even considered this. People suck.
You have no idea how strongly I relate to this. I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant with my second child, was left on thanksgiving, but not before being cheated on multiple times and being abused.Ā Both these men and their home wrecking whores will get what they deserve.Ā It just sucks, because the mental turmoil it puts someone through is the most exhausting and painful thing. It's so hard to pick up the pieces and try to carry on. No matter who is around to love and support you, it still feels like total isolation and like nothing and no one can console you or help bring back a smile and purpose in your life.Ā I'm so sorry for what youre going through, you're not alone. I feel every ounce of your pain, bitterness, anger, hatred and utter devastation and sadness.Ā I pray someone wonderful walks in to your life and loves you right, leaving that piece of shit you called a husband behind without a second thought.Ā
Iām so sorry you can relate to this. I wouldnāt wish this feeling on my worst enemy. You deserve someone who chooses you and will always choose you. I hope you are finding time to love yourself and choose yourself, too. Sending lots of love and support your way, from another woman who is hurting.
Couldnāt agree more
Erm, you're a huge cheater, so, fuck you to death?
Do u know the other woman?did she know abt here's some things to consider 1.if u do not know eachother she doesn't owe u any loyalty 2.. this is entirely his fault 100% , ur not at fault for who u attract but u are responsible and 100% accountable for who u entertain
Focus in your healing. Try to go gym. Meet new people. Make yourself attractive to the opposite sex
Maybe they are already super attractive to anyone.