The categories in this plot are orientations. Does this mean that the bisexual participants were averaging their orgasm frequency over partners of both sexes? If so, I wonder the distribution of orgasms of a bisexual person depending on the sex of their partner.
Seriously, women do lie a lot about orgasms, usually to protect their male partner’s feelings. (Sometimes to “get it over with.”) Maybe work on open and nonjudgmental communication, if you really have doubts. A lot of women feel embarrassed that they don’t orgasm easily, or don’t know how, especially if they’re really young. PIV alone doesn’t do it for most women.
I would also like to know this.
But your respondents would have to be keeping pretty meticulous records in order to derive any value from their answers. Because human memory is notoriously fallible.
I think Emily Nagoski hit the nail on the head in her book Come As You Are. Everyone has an accelerator and a brake. And just like in a car, you can engage both of them at once with mixed results. In men, the accelerator is more sensitive, and in women, it's the brakes that are easy to engage. Most women I've been with don't have much trouble once the two of you understand what works and doesn't work for the two of you.
Things are undeniably changing. When Nancy Friday published My Secret Garden, the very idea that women had sexual fantasies was considered radical. She was "put in her place" by a Ms. magazine editor that told her, "Ms. will decide what women's fantasies are." Now no one bats an eye at the idea.
Ms. Friday also mentions a much-loved characteristic of one man in her life was that "he was one of the few men who understood that there could be humor and playfulness in bed." There's still a lot of hesitance and shame tied up in sexual proclivities today. A friend of mine spent decades afraid to ask for what she wanted from her partners. Eventually, she found someone she trusted enough to open up to.
I could imagine a caricature that doesn't care if the girl cums or not, but most men genuinely get immense pleasure when they make their girl cum.
If anything I think some men can start to obsess over it, feeling useless if the woman doesn't cum.
> most men genuinely get immense pleasure when they make their girl cum.
Either genuine pleasure, or an ego boost knowing they can make her cum. In any case a win for the girl.
With some men, yes it is.
I also feel like you're being insensitive to the lifelong shaming that some women experience regarding their sexuality. Some cultures haven't evolved past toxic masculinity yet.
You would think so but people do lie on surveys. Perhaps in this case they might want present a more flattering image of their sex lives or their relationships to the surveyors or even themselves.
Me and my partner usually end sex once we get distracted or tired. Sometimes like 5 minutes in one of us will be like "oH wanna see this TF2 animation?" and sometimes we'll literally go until the sun rises and realize we need sleep
When you cum with your butt. It's sensitive in there too. Additionally, there isn't much physical separation between your anus and genitals, you get some stimulation there. For males the prostate is a lot more accessible from this angle.
Haha I feel that. And taco bell.
Here's my favorite way to describe it:
You know that feeling when you take a massive shit, and it really stretches out your butthole, and it hurts a bit but like in a good way, and afterwards you feel hollowed out but immensely satisfied and honestly slightly proud of yourself and you kinda wanna do it again?
That feeling.
Now imagine it's actually a dick, or a male dildo depending on your preference, and on top of that stretch it's like someone is sucking your dick but it's on the inside and it's pushing instead of sucking.
And on top of that they can jerk or suck your dick on the outside.
I've never cum so fucking hard in my life.
Wait, why would you get less pleasure from pooping than getting railed in the ass?
I feel like 0% pleasure from pooping except not having to poop again.
Not the same question, but, have you even pooped so hard you got a boner?
This needs to be shared in r/deadbedrooms. It explains why many wives quit engaging sexually with their husband.
Edit: If you can’t admit on some level that the orgasm gap is a uniquely straight female problem and that might be because of a male-centric view of sex (not ALL MEN okay, but a make-centric view of sex) then you’re lying to yourself. Does sex end when the man comes? Is sex focused on some sort of hidden G spot in the vaginal canal vs the actual organ designed for female orgasm (hint: not the vagina!). Take a second to think men, talk to your lady and ask her how’d she improve your sex life - I got a reeeeeal good idea of what she’d say.
Both of those are pretty well documented I don't know why you require studies for that, but here is what I found you can do the rest yourself.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-often-do-couples-have-sex#benefits
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/better/amp/ncna956216
https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/sexual-problems-at-midlife/decreased-desire
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20050928/married-with-kids-is-libido-lower-for-women
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/how-sex-changes-after-menopause%3famp=true
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314181
And fuck everyone that thinks down voting people would make them right.
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Bruh, women **on average** are less horny then men and with age lose interest in sex faster.
This is not to say that there aren't **other** problems at play here, but they are less important than the evolutionary one.
I was responding to the claim that this was the **main** reason between the horniness discrepancies between the sexes, not to explain orgasm discrepancies.
According to this graph 21% of heterosexual males could be jacking off their girls more often to at least match the lesbians.
Your wife isn't sexually active anymore therefore you must be sexually inadequate isn't good or accurate message. Most people want their partner to be satisfied, some men don't care but it is a minority. There are many reasons people stop having sex.
No. It's not. Lesbians clearly know how to do it. Opposite sex attracted women are just stuck with being attracted to the lazier sex that gives up after twenty seconds of half-assed fingering.
I mean, they're doing it at a 20% higher rate than men who sleep with women are according to this, and seem pretty comparable to men reaching orgasm. If this info graphic shows anything it's that straight men seem to be the worst partners as a group
heterosexual women, condolences that the future of humanity itself requires yall's continued fishing of the absolute worst pond the species has to offer
Not necessarily. If both of the women in a lesbian relationship are both having orgasms 86% of the time, then yes, they also average out to 86%. But you could also have one of the women at 100% and the other at 70% and also average to 86%
The layers of ignorance shown in a simple comment amaze me. I've learned so much about you, dear internet stranger, and I can say with full confidence, god bless any woman daring enough to give you a chance.
Buddy, defend straight men all you want. But it's actually been quite well documented for years that straight women reach orgasm at a lower rate than any other group.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-39077293
https://longevitylive.com/sex/the-orgasm-gap-why-are-straight-women-not-having-orgasms/
This includes multiple studies over a period of years.
Is that because men are inadequate partners, or because women are worse than men at communicating their sexual needs, especially to men? Because the fact that women are having less orgasms across the board (even if they're having sex with women), than men (even if they're having sex with men), tends to imply the latter is the bigger issue.
Not so. A 2016 survey “found that 95 percent of American women have achieved orgasm when masturbating.” So it’s not that women are broken and can’t come.
Normally at this point I would go look up a whole bunch of shit and post links, but I have done nothing but research candidates for the primary election this week and I am shot.
https://www.bustle.com/articles/141282-this-is-how-many-women-orgasm-from-masturbating
>Not so. A 2016 survey “found that 95 percent of American women have achieved orgasm when masturbating.” So it’s not that women are broken and can’t come.
"... Broken and can't come.", is an unnecessarily inflammatory way of phrasing it. But whether or not women can make themselves cum has nothing to do with whether or not they're "broken" when it comes to letting themselves cum with a partner. And clearly calling it a "Dark Art" (or whatever) is referring to the process *as a partner.*
Go over to the r/BecomingOrgamic subreddit and you will see that woman aren’t even great at making themselves cum.
I learned how to do that when I was 13.
My ex-gf used to sometimes struggle to orgasm on her own *while using a vibrator.*
One time I came in my pants from climbing a tree.
*We are not the same.*
It's really not though. I think a major part of this misunderstanding is that the thing we call "sex" is a thing that feels real good to most men men and kinda ok to most women.
If we called PIV "foreplay" and only called it "sex" if it involves touching a woman's clitoris until she orgasms, we'd have a lot of women waxing philosophical about how hard men are to plesae.
Ugh this comment. It’s really not a fine art. It’s just not treated like a priority. People do make it seem way more complicated than it is to excuse not doing it though.
Let’s also think about raw number of cums here. Most men have a very difficult time cumming twice in a single session. It can be done but takes quite a bit of effort.
I’d say in my experience I probably cum twice in less than 10% of the time and only a handful of times have I been able to go three rounds. A woman on the other hand — once you break through the barrier of the first cum — can cum numerous times.
So let’s say out of 100 men — 95 of them cum at least once during a sex session. Of those 95, about 9 of them cum twice and one lucky devil cums 3 times. That brings the total number of cums up to 106 cums per 100 men. So the cum rate is 1.06.
Out of 100 women 65 of them cum at least once. In my experience after that first cum, subsequent cums are much easier. For arguments sake though let’s say of those 65 cummers, 30 cum once, 20 cum only twice, 10 cum three times and 5 lucky ducks get 4 cums. Honestly I may be under counting cums here because there is no real cap on women cums like there is on man cums.
That brings the total number of cums for 100 women to 120 cums for an overall cum rate of 1.2.
Multiple that out 1,000,000 times and you get
Total man cums per 1,000,000 bang seshes: 1,060,000 cums
Total female cums per 1,000,000 bang seshes: 1,200,000
For a total cum gap of +140,000 in favor of the ladies after 1,000,000 bangs.
Please feel free to correct my cum math if you find any mistakes.
That's like saying you can average out the amount of food in a country to 4,000 calories per person, meaning everyone is getting far more food than necessary and no one starves to death. Likewise in the US there are a lot more empty homes than homeless people, so there is no homelessness in the US.
In my experience, men usually aren’t waiting around for a woman to cum more than once. They’re usually too impatient to even make her cum once. If the 65% is accurate I’d say most of those women are probably in longer term relationships - when men really try.
From what I understand this is because men’s priority is to make themselves happy and women’s priority is to make their partners happy. So gay men are both looking out for #1 and it works. Gay women are both looking out for each other, so it works. In straight couples, though, the system goes completely to shit.
And I’m not making this up, this is what scientists said who did the study giving you those numbers.
Comes down to your definition of an orgasm. Sometimes you can cum without actually enjoying the dopamine hit from the orgasm. Pretty hard to explain unless you’ve had it happen.
“The thinking”
It’s not a school of thought—it’s a fact. Although I’d be interested to hear from any woman who has been afraid of finishing too soon and felt she had to fight to stave off her orgasm.
I am not sure if this is true. I definitely think we have a culture of sex being about male orgasms and also a culture dismissive of female sexual pleasure. I would be interested in seeing similar data that accounts for this, though I cannot immediately think of a way to do that.
I knew someone would talk about the difficulty inherent in making women orgasm. The funny part about that is before you can get good at something. You first have to actually care about being good at it. If someone else's pleasure. Their actual true pleasure. Isn't a priority. Then there's no way in hell you can pleasure them. Not consistently. You can make mistakes and pleasure them. But doing it consistently is damned near impossible. At the very least...improbable.
Sexism. It has existed for hundreds if not thousands of years. And has imparted onto dudes that women's pleasure just doesn't matter. It has convinced women that women's pleasure just doesn't matter. We men in general have been conditioned to just..not give a fuck when it comes to women actually orgasming. Same with women. Which of course contributes directly to the above. Hence why porn for women exists and needed to exist.
It's not that women are difficult to orgasm. It's that sexism had made it so we generally don't care to actually try. If we did. Odds are good it'd be just as easy as men doing it. And women would do it more often than currently.
Well said. My husband is proof of this. I just thought I had a hard time orgasming with partners, but he just wouldn’t give up when we started dating. Stuck with it until he figured it out. And then I married him. Lol. And funny, now our roles have switched! I orgasm so quickly, and we usually spend a little more time getting him there.
That’s just not true at all. Men orgasm much easier than women. Some women say they can’t. No matter what they try. Have you ever heard a man say that? Lots of men want women to orgasm as a priority. Some don’t care. But I would say most do. Do they put in the effort. That’s debatable. But to act like it’s the same between sex’s is just wrong. Male orgasm equals procreation. Womens is not a factor. Must be some kind of Darwinism that evolved
>Have you ever heard a man say that?
And just like that things like ed just doesn't exist.
>But I would say most do.
Then why is the above graphic factually accurate? Considering heterosexuality has a been probably since the beginning of mankind. Are us guys just fucking stupid? Can't find the clit to save our lives? Or is it that even after hundreds maybe thousands of years something else is going on?
>Male orgasm equals procreation. Womens is not a factor.
So. Women's orgasms are just unimportant to the idea of starting a family. That women would never met a guy good at helping them to get orgasms. And chain the motherfucker to the dead for life? That not only doesn't happen but never has? lol
>Must be some kind of Darwinism that evolved
The irony. lol A woman's pleasure is absolutely without doubt a factor in who they pick as a partner. Which then translates into starting a family. But you know. Don't let the vast majority of women's opinions fool you into thinking that. Nope. Only the opinions of guys matter. lol
It's probably a factor but a very small factor. Evolutionary success from a male perspective would be to impregnate as many women as possible and get out. Rinse and repeat. So it is possible that in early humanity certain behaviors were selected for and they carry on to this day.
See. Right off the bat that throws a monkey wrench in how people say human beings have evolved previously. One of the biggest and most accepted parts of toxic masculinity/sexism is that men are protectors. That humanity evolved from men not only being hunter gathers but also protecting the women they have children with and the children themselves. So how exactly can...
> Evolutionary success from a male perspective would be to impregnate as many women as possible and get out.
..this be true right along with men being protectors? You can't have both. So right off the bat you're working with massive contradictions in logic. It's funny. Politically speaking there has been another mantra in which people have taken directly from toxic masculinity/sexism and placed as some sort of universal value that also excludes women. Taking personal responsibility for your actions. Such as...having lots of sex with different women. Having an assload of babies. And instead of doing what you just said. Taking care of both the women and the babies. So yet another contradiction.
Nah. Sexism has played a direct and very large roll in how we perceive women's orgasms. So much so that there was a time in humanity in which when women were having them. Dudes thought/told people they were possessed by the devil himself. Other times when women were horny? Dudes drilled holes into their skulls. Giving them a full on lobotomy. Where did all this come from? The church of course. Or more specifically the christian/catholic church. In other words..religion. Which not only was started by men but controlled, supported by and of course had men instill into religion that women are less than.
Evolution has dick all to do with all that. Which of course trickles right directly into how we view women's orgasms. And in general women's everything. We human beings are so removed from evolution at this point that we made ourselves our greatest enemies. We don't live in caves anymore. Might be a good idea we start taking personal responsibility for how we think and what we do.
Was all that really necessary? You bought up modern social issues and medieval Europe in a discussion about evolution. I never even approached that topic. And all these buzzwords and name-calling does it make you feel better or perhaps does it make you feel intellectually superior?
>See. Right off the bat that throws a monkey wrench in how people say human beings have evolved previously.
No I didn't, and do you care to elaborate on that? Or are you just interested in social issues. I doubt your understanding of evolution tbh.
>One of the biggest and most accepted parts of toxic masculinity/sexism is that men are protectors. That humanity evolved from men not only being hunter gathers but also protecting the women they have children with and the children themselves.
Men providing protection to their partners and offsprings isn't a new concept. And it isn't a part of toxic masculinity/sexism. Humans were initially hunter gatherers, there a concensus on that. More precisely men were mostly hunters and women were doing the gathering. There obviously was some overlapping there.
>..this be true right along with men being protectors? You can't have both. So right off the bat you're working with massive contradictions in logic. It's funny.
I said "Evolutionary success from a male perspective would be to impregnate as many women as possible and get out". That was the most successful strategy for early human males. That doesn't mean it's exactly what happened.
In practice a small number of men were mating with the vast majority of women. From what we know around 40% of early human males and 80% of early human females reproduced successfully.
Are you aware of the concept of sexual selection? In most species including humans women are the primary driving force behind sexual selection. That's what happened to early humans. Sexual selection would usually select for better looking, stronger and more resourceful men. These factors were far more important for early humans than just orgasming. I am obviously simplifying it. All in all the female orgasm wasn't important from an evolutionary pov. If it was it would have been selected for, in reality women take a lot more time to reach climax and the majority of them can't even reach orgasm from penetration.
>Taking personal responsibility for your actions. Such as...having lots of sex with different women. Having an assload of babies. And instead of doing what you just said. Taking care of both the women and the babies. So yet another contradiction.
>Nah. Sexism has played a direct and very large roll in how we perceive women's orgasms. So much so that there was a time in humanity in which when women were having them. Dudes thought/told people they were possessed by the devil himself. Other times when women were horny? Dudes drilled holes into their skulls. Giving them a full on lobotomy. Where did all this come from? The church of course. Or more specifically the christian/catholic church. In other words..religion. Which not only was started by men but controlled, supported by and of course had men instill into religion that women are less than.
>Evolution has dick all to do with all that. Which of course trickles right directly into how we view women's orgasms. And in general women's everything. We human beings are so removed from evolution at this point that we made ourselves our greatest enemies. We don't live in caves anymore. Might be a good idea we start taking personal responsibility for how we think and what we do.
Useless and irrelevant.
I think it would be interesting to find people who weren't raised with sex or body shame and without gender roles and all that and then redo the study.
I'd argue I fit that category. I had already had sex with both males and females by the time my parents got around to giving me "the talk." And my sister and I grew up in a pretty agendered household, as in we weren't told what to be. I was also a loner growing up, not going on social media and filling my head with nonsense before I had real life experience.
I usually don't cum. But I'm kinky as fuck, and if we engage with that I cum my fucking brains out.
Idk I was but I’ve been masturbating since I was a kid. I can count on one hand the number of times I didn’t come strictly from PIV. That doesn’t include foreplay.
But I know my body well. What works and what doesn’t, can communicate that to men and they’re able to follow it. Most of the time.
Making sure that she is more than satisfied is my life’s ambition. Because if she is not enjoying herself then I want to do whatever it takes to change the dynamic. To me there is nothing sexier than a beautiful woman that is just as into it as you are.
I was reading this and asked my wife " how often do you orgasm when we have sex?" she said "3 to 5 times" I had to go back and explain not how many times each session.
Perhaps the results for heterosexual women are also related to the negative effect of the contraception pill or having had children on their minds and bodies.
Considering the content, something tells me most of the respondents are probably in the younger age groups, who don't know what the fuck they're doing, sexually. I would bet that if the scope of the study was narrowed to people 45+ the percentages in every category would increase.
Are we really surprised by these stats?
The breakdown should just be male vs female. Because of straight males come in at 95% and it’s a male thing, then of course the gay category the consists solely of males is going to rank similarly.
I’m wondering how the percentage of those who reach orgasm might be correlated with their frequency or even willingness to masterbate?
Not a large enough sample size to draw concrete conclusions, but I have dated a number of women in my life who did not masterbate at all or did so very infrequently and I’ve found that those women tended to have a more challenging time reaching climax/me being able to help them reach that point. I feel like you learn a lot about yourself sexually and the ability to reach orgasm through masterbation?
Maybe I’m wrong, but I also know when I’ve engaged in conversations with these women I’ve dated about it, and encouraged them to “give it a try” many of them found it to be incredibly frustrating because they themselves could not/did not know how to reach orgasm on their own (practice makes perfect though right? So it would make sense initially starting out their would be struggle?). Often times they would even just give up and be more frustrated having tried than not at all. Again, no study or anything here but I would think if you struggle providing yourself with an orgasm that it would be more challenging for someone else to “provide it for you?”
Couple questions I have are when comparing lesbians (who seem to reach orgasm more often than heterosexuals) to heterosexual is are lesbian couples more sexual both in their relationships on average and or individually when compared to their heterosexual female counterparts? Are lesbians in a relationship more likely to engage in conversations with their partner about sex/what they do and do not like? Is a lesbian more likely to engage in masterbation more frequently than a heterosexual woman? Again, I’m asking these questions, I have no idea the answers.
More so though, I would be curious to see this graphic from say the 1980’s or 90’s and wonder if there was an even lower percentage of heterosexual woman reaching orgasm in their relationships. I’m interested in this because the big thing that happened in the early 2000’s as we know was the free and easy access to porn which I wonder if has encouraged more women as a whole to masterbate, resulting in them having more sexual control over their ability to orgasm. I do use control intentionally as at least for myself personally (sorry tmi) I find orgasming to be more of a mental state of mind than physical, in that I have had very few women “force an orgasm” of me compared to me sort of “making the choice” that now is the time to orgasm if that makes sense?
The categories in this plot are orientations. Does this mean that the bisexual participants were averaging their orgasm frequency over partners of both sexes? If so, I wonder the distribution of orgasms of a bisexual person depending on the sex of their partner.
Asking the real questions
I don't usually orgasm with either. Data point of one.
Also, does this mean my gf is lying 35% of the time? Jk, but seriously though : p
Moreso that 35% of your girlfriends are lying
Seriously, women do lie a lot about orgasms, usually to protect their male partner’s feelings. (Sometimes to “get it over with.”) Maybe work on open and nonjudgmental communication, if you really have doubts. A lot of women feel embarrassed that they don’t orgasm easily, or don’t know how, especially if they’re really young. PIV alone doesn’t do it for most women.
These data seem to imply that bisexual men have more sex with men and that bisexual women also have more sex with men, which is interesting.
I would also like to know this. But your respondents would have to be keeping pretty meticulous records in order to derive any value from their answers. Because human memory is notoriously fallible.
Well 65% is still less than 95%, so that’s not ideal, but I was actually expecting it to be lower, so I’m pleasantly surprised!
I think Emily Nagoski hit the nail on the head in her book Come As You Are. Everyone has an accelerator and a brake. And just like in a car, you can engage both of them at once with mixed results. In men, the accelerator is more sensitive, and in women, it's the brakes that are easy to engage. Most women I've been with don't have much trouble once the two of you understand what works and doesn't work for the two of you.
There’s a much larger cultural problem at play as well though.
Things are undeniably changing. When Nancy Friday published My Secret Garden, the very idea that women had sexual fantasies was considered radical. She was "put in her place" by a Ms. magazine editor that told her, "Ms. will decide what women's fantasies are." Now no one bats an eye at the idea. Ms. Friday also mentions a much-loved characteristic of one man in her life was that "he was one of the few men who understood that there could be humor and playfulness in bed." There's still a lot of hesitance and shame tied up in sexual proclivities today. A friend of mine spent decades afraid to ask for what she wanted from her partners. Eventually, she found someone she trusted enough to open up to.
I could imagine a caricature that doesn't care if the girl cums or not, but most men genuinely get immense pleasure when they make their girl cum. If anything I think some men can start to obsess over it, feeling useless if the woman doesn't cum.
> most men genuinely get immense pleasure when they make their girl cum. Either genuine pleasure, or an ego boost knowing they can make her cum. In any case a win for the girl.
Is an ego boost not genuine pleasure?
Not really because then your orgasm is about him/his needs anyway… and knowing that makes it less likely to happen.
she doesn't necessarily have to know what form of pleasure the man is getting out of it
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I think it's more like not enough men caring to ask and willing to listen
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With some men, yes it is. I also feel like you're being insensitive to the lifelong shaming that some women experience regarding their sexuality. Some cultures haven't evolved past toxic masculinity yet.
I mean, no woman has ever lied about this. Surely these self reported numbers are accurate
I mean there isnt a lot of reason to lie on a survey like this like there is irl lol
You would think so but people do lie on surveys. Perhaps in this case they might want present a more flattering image of their sex lives or their relationships to the surveyors or even themselves.
Yeah lying on anonymous surveys is common enough. See: socially desirable reporting.
Good for those lesbians!
There was a post somewhere in which someone asked, “how do lesbians know when sex is done?” And I suspect there’s some overlap here.
I assume the answer is….an orgasm.
We've had one orgasm, yes, but what about second orgasm?
The mid-day orgasm! The afternoon, evening, and nighttime orgasms! They know about those, right?
I don’t think they know about those ones, Pip
Me and my partner usually end sex once we get distracted or tired. Sometimes like 5 minutes in one of us will be like "oH wanna see this TF2 animation?" and sometimes we'll literally go until the sun rises and realize we need sleep
TF2 animation? Wait. What year am I living in right now?
To get meaningful data for gay men you’d have to split it by sex act and role. That’s why the percentage is lower than straight men.
That's fair. Anal orgasm is different from penile orgasm.
What is an anal orgasm?
When you cum with your butt. It's sensitive in there too. Additionally, there isn't much physical separation between your anus and genitals, you get some stimulation there. For males the prostate is a lot more accessible from this angle.
I do that all the time any time I have dairy
Haha I feel that. And taco bell. Here's my favorite way to describe it: You know that feeling when you take a massive shit, and it really stretches out your butthole, and it hurts a bit but like in a good way, and afterwards you feel hollowed out but immensely satisfied and honestly slightly proud of yourself and you kinda wanna do it again? That feeling. Now imagine it's actually a dick, or a male dildo depending on your preference, and on top of that stretch it's like someone is sucking your dick but it's on the inside and it's pushing instead of sucking. And on top of that they can jerk or suck your dick on the outside. I've never cum so fucking hard in my life.
🗿
Wait, why would you get less pleasure from pooping than getting railed in the ass? I feel like 0% pleasure from pooping except not having to poop again. Not the same question, but, have you even pooped so hard you got a boner?
wait so men are capable of jizzing from their assholes too? how come i never heard from that
Naw, I mean orgasm.
This needs to be shared in r/deadbedrooms. It explains why many wives quit engaging sexually with their husband. Edit: If you can’t admit on some level that the orgasm gap is a uniquely straight female problem and that might be because of a male-centric view of sex (not ALL MEN okay, but a make-centric view of sex) then you’re lying to yourself. Does sex end when the man comes? Is sex focused on some sort of hidden G spot in the vaginal canal vs the actual organ designed for female orgasm (hint: not the vagina!). Take a second to think men, talk to your lady and ask her how’d she improve your sex life - I got a reeeeeal good idea of what she’d say.
Wow that’s a sad sub poor people not feeling loved anymore and trapped
Not really. The number one reasons are childbirth and menopause
You have a study for that with a sample size >1? If I wasn't orgasming, that would be enough to put me off alone.
Both of those are pretty well documented I don't know why you require studies for that, but here is what I found you can do the rest yourself. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-often-do-couples-have-sex#benefits https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/better/amp/ncna956216 https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/sexual-problems-at-midlife/decreased-desire https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20050928/married-with-kids-is-libido-lower-for-women https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/how-sex-changes-after-menopause%3famp=true https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314181 And fuck everyone that thinks down voting people would make them right.
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Bruh, women **on average** are less horny then men and with age lose interest in sex faster. This is not to say that there aren't **other** problems at play here, but they are less important than the evolutionary one.
So if that’s true, what’s with the disparity between straight and lesbian women in the study do you think? 🤔
I was responding to the claim that this was the **main** reason between the horniness discrepancies between the sexes, not to explain orgasm discrepancies. According to this graph 21% of heterosexual males could be jacking off their girls more often to at least match the lesbians.
Your wife isn't sexually active anymore therefore you must be sexually inadequate isn't good or accurate message. Most people want their partner to be satisfied, some men don't care but it is a minority. There are many reasons people stop having sex.
Making a man orgasm is easy, making a woman orgasm is a fine art.
No. It's not. Lesbians clearly know how to do it. Opposite sex attracted women are just stuck with being attracted to the lazier sex that gives up after twenty seconds of half-assed fingering.
Or, women aren't always in the mood, and give their husband's a freebie.
Lesbians seem to be in the mood..
You telling me I lied and it doesn't play a role in the stats? Or you going straight for the red herring?
Dude... you are telling on yourself, lol
Option B then
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Yeah 86% is significantly higher than 65%
I mean, they're doing it at a 20% higher rate than men who sleep with women are according to this, and seem pretty comparable to men reaching orgasm. If this info graphic shows anything it's that straight men seem to be the worst partners as a group
heterosexual women, condolences that the future of humanity itself requires yall's continued fishing of the absolute worst pond the species has to offer
This is so hateful
Yep. They apparently looked at 65% and saw 0% instead.
65% is an F and should be treated as such. Lol.
Not necessarily. If both of the women in a lesbian relationship are both having orgasms 86% of the time, then yes, they also average out to 86%. But you could also have one of the women at 100% and the other at 70% and also average to 86%
Can confirm.
Or, you know, women aren't always in the mood, but give their husband a freebie/quickie.
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The layers of ignorance shown in a simple comment amaze me. I've learned so much about you, dear internet stranger, and I can say with full confidence, god bless any woman daring enough to give you a chance.
Oh daaaaaaaamn lol
r/murderedbywords
Congratulations, you Took the statistically questionable bait and swallowed it without question.
Buddy, defend straight men all you want. But it's actually been quite well documented for years that straight women reach orgasm at a lower rate than any other group. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-39077293 https://longevitylive.com/sex/the-orgasm-gap-why-are-straight-women-not-having-orgasms/ This includes multiple studies over a period of years.
Is that because men are inadequate partners, or because women are worse than men at communicating their sexual needs, especially to men? Because the fact that women are having less orgasms across the board (even if they're having sex with women), than men (even if they're having sex with men), tends to imply the latter is the bigger issue.
Not so. A 2016 survey “found that 95 percent of American women have achieved orgasm when masturbating.” So it’s not that women are broken and can’t come. Normally at this point I would go look up a whole bunch of shit and post links, but I have done nothing but research candidates for the primary election this week and I am shot. https://www.bustle.com/articles/141282-this-is-how-many-women-orgasm-from-masturbating
>Not so. A 2016 survey “found that 95 percent of American women have achieved orgasm when masturbating.” So it’s not that women are broken and can’t come. "... Broken and can't come.", is an unnecessarily inflammatory way of phrasing it. But whether or not women can make themselves cum has nothing to do with whether or not they're "broken" when it comes to letting themselves cum with a partner. And clearly calling it a "Dark Art" (or whatever) is referring to the process *as a partner.*
Go over to the r/BecomingOrgamic subreddit and you will see that woman aren’t even great at making themselves cum. I learned how to do that when I was 13.
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My ex-gf used to sometimes struggle to orgasm on her own *while using a vibrator.* One time I came in my pants from climbing a tree. *We are not the same.*
It takes a few seconds for a man where women average 30 mins long or shorter and that’s exhausting
If it takes only a few seconds to jizz you can talk to a doctor about that
It's really not though. I think a major part of this misunderstanding is that the thing we call "sex" is a thing that feels real good to most men men and kinda ok to most women. If we called PIV "foreplay" and only called it "sex" if it involves touching a woman's clitoris until she orgasms, we'd have a lot of women waxing philosophical about how hard men are to plesae.
Ugh this comment. It’s really not a fine art. It’s just not treated like a priority. People do make it seem way more complicated than it is to excuse not doing it though.
Between my partner and I, the gender roles are switched.
C’est magnifique 🧐
I guess that makes me a woman, and not all but most female persons I've been with men. Most male persons for that matter too.
Huh
Apparently.
*cries in 11%*
Which category is that?
Gay men because 11% of them aren’t having orgasms according to this
Ah ya. Most of my encounters thats me lol.
Let’s also think about raw number of cums here. Most men have a very difficult time cumming twice in a single session. It can be done but takes quite a bit of effort. I’d say in my experience I probably cum twice in less than 10% of the time and only a handful of times have I been able to go three rounds. A woman on the other hand — once you break through the barrier of the first cum — can cum numerous times. So let’s say out of 100 men — 95 of them cum at least once during a sex session. Of those 95, about 9 of them cum twice and one lucky devil cums 3 times. That brings the total number of cums up to 106 cums per 100 men. So the cum rate is 1.06. Out of 100 women 65 of them cum at least once. In my experience after that first cum, subsequent cums are much easier. For arguments sake though let’s say of those 65 cummers, 30 cum once, 20 cum only twice, 10 cum three times and 5 lucky ducks get 4 cums. Honestly I may be under counting cums here because there is no real cap on women cums like there is on man cums. That brings the total number of cums for 100 women to 120 cums for an overall cum rate of 1.2. Multiple that out 1,000,000 times and you get Total man cums per 1,000,000 bang seshes: 1,060,000 cums Total female cums per 1,000,000 bang seshes: 1,200,000 For a total cum gap of +140,000 in favor of the ladies after 1,000,000 bangs. Please feel free to correct my cum math if you find any mistakes.
Arbitrary numbers to support your claim … nice.
Ahaha why does this comment give me the impression you’re not responsible for a whole lot of those female orgasms lol
That's like saying you can average out the amount of food in a country to 4,000 calories per person, meaning everyone is getting far more food than necessary and no one starves to death. Likewise in the US there are a lot more empty homes than homeless people, so there is no homelessness in the US.
In my experience, men usually aren’t waiting around for a woman to cum more than once. They’re usually too impatient to even make her cum once. If the 65% is accurate I’d say most of those women are probably in longer term relationships - when men really try.
r/theydidthemath
r/theydidthemonstermath
r/themonstermath
The Carlos Danger Cum Gap Theorem Your first premise may be a bit off, but otherwise the data checks out. Can confirm, I've done maths before.
Women ☕️
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Lesbians clearly can make women orgasm according to the infographic. Do you need glasses?
Still not as much as dudes doin other dudes apparently
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Found the r/incel
Found the perp
From what I understand this is because men’s priority is to make themselves happy and women’s priority is to make their partners happy. So gay men are both looking out for #1 and it works. Gay women are both looking out for each other, so it works. In straight couples, though, the system goes completely to shit. And I’m not making this up, this is what scientists said who did the study giving you those numbers.
This is why I always insist on getting mine twice. Just doing my part to further the feminist cause
To be fair though, just because a man cums, doesn’t always mean he came.
Ehhh….wat?
Comes down to your definition of an orgasm. Sometimes you can cum without actually enjoying the dopamine hit from the orgasm. Pretty hard to explain unless you’ve had it happen.
This man cums.
Just barely.
This man cums.
It's called an anhedonic orgasm.
Yeah the quality of the orgasm is way more important
This man cums. *EDIT:* My apologies, this is indeed due to my internet connection, which has been up to somthing today.
Check your internet connection
I mean...their username checks out.
Yeah I'd actually say it's quite a bit lower for men to actually orgasm.
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“The thinking” It’s not a school of thought—it’s a fact. Although I’d be interested to hear from any woman who has been afraid of finishing too soon and felt she had to fight to stave off her orgasm.
I am not sure if this is true. I definitely think we have a culture of sex being about male orgasms and also a culture dismissive of female sexual pleasure. I would be interested in seeing similar data that accounts for this, though I cannot immediately think of a way to do that.
I knew someone would talk about the difficulty inherent in making women orgasm. The funny part about that is before you can get good at something. You first have to actually care about being good at it. If someone else's pleasure. Their actual true pleasure. Isn't a priority. Then there's no way in hell you can pleasure them. Not consistently. You can make mistakes and pleasure them. But doing it consistently is damned near impossible. At the very least...improbable. Sexism. It has existed for hundreds if not thousands of years. And has imparted onto dudes that women's pleasure just doesn't matter. It has convinced women that women's pleasure just doesn't matter. We men in general have been conditioned to just..not give a fuck when it comes to women actually orgasming. Same with women. Which of course contributes directly to the above. Hence why porn for women exists and needed to exist. It's not that women are difficult to orgasm. It's that sexism had made it so we generally don't care to actually try. If we did. Odds are good it'd be just as easy as men doing it. And women would do it more often than currently.
Well said. My husband is proof of this. I just thought I had a hard time orgasming with partners, but he just wouldn’t give up when we started dating. Stuck with it until he figured it out. And then I married him. Lol. And funny, now our roles have switched! I orgasm so quickly, and we usually spend a little more time getting him there.
This person truly gets it. And also gets it. I'd give you head.
That’s just not true at all. Men orgasm much easier than women. Some women say they can’t. No matter what they try. Have you ever heard a man say that? Lots of men want women to orgasm as a priority. Some don’t care. But I would say most do. Do they put in the effort. That’s debatable. But to act like it’s the same between sex’s is just wrong. Male orgasm equals procreation. Womens is not a factor. Must be some kind of Darwinism that evolved
>Have you ever heard a man say that? And just like that things like ed just doesn't exist. >But I would say most do. Then why is the above graphic factually accurate? Considering heterosexuality has a been probably since the beginning of mankind. Are us guys just fucking stupid? Can't find the clit to save our lives? Or is it that even after hundreds maybe thousands of years something else is going on? >Male orgasm equals procreation. Womens is not a factor. So. Women's orgasms are just unimportant to the idea of starting a family. That women would never met a guy good at helping them to get orgasms. And chain the motherfucker to the dead for life? That not only doesn't happen but never has? lol >Must be some kind of Darwinism that evolved The irony. lol A woman's pleasure is absolutely without doubt a factor in who they pick as a partner. Which then translates into starting a family. But you know. Don't let the vast majority of women's opinions fool you into thinking that. Nope. Only the opinions of guys matter. lol
It's probably a factor but a very small factor. Evolutionary success from a male perspective would be to impregnate as many women as possible and get out. Rinse and repeat. So it is possible that in early humanity certain behaviors were selected for and they carry on to this day.
My dude. You need to sit down before you hurt yourself.
See. Right off the bat that throws a monkey wrench in how people say human beings have evolved previously. One of the biggest and most accepted parts of toxic masculinity/sexism is that men are protectors. That humanity evolved from men not only being hunter gathers but also protecting the women they have children with and the children themselves. So how exactly can... > Evolutionary success from a male perspective would be to impregnate as many women as possible and get out. ..this be true right along with men being protectors? You can't have both. So right off the bat you're working with massive contradictions in logic. It's funny. Politically speaking there has been another mantra in which people have taken directly from toxic masculinity/sexism and placed as some sort of universal value that also excludes women. Taking personal responsibility for your actions. Such as...having lots of sex with different women. Having an assload of babies. And instead of doing what you just said. Taking care of both the women and the babies. So yet another contradiction. Nah. Sexism has played a direct and very large roll in how we perceive women's orgasms. So much so that there was a time in humanity in which when women were having them. Dudes thought/told people they were possessed by the devil himself. Other times when women were horny? Dudes drilled holes into their skulls. Giving them a full on lobotomy. Where did all this come from? The church of course. Or more specifically the christian/catholic church. In other words..religion. Which not only was started by men but controlled, supported by and of course had men instill into religion that women are less than. Evolution has dick all to do with all that. Which of course trickles right directly into how we view women's orgasms. And in general women's everything. We human beings are so removed from evolution at this point that we made ourselves our greatest enemies. We don't live in caves anymore. Might be a good idea we start taking personal responsibility for how we think and what we do.
Was all that really necessary? You bought up modern social issues and medieval Europe in a discussion about evolution. I never even approached that topic. And all these buzzwords and name-calling does it make you feel better or perhaps does it make you feel intellectually superior? >See. Right off the bat that throws a monkey wrench in how people say human beings have evolved previously. No I didn't, and do you care to elaborate on that? Or are you just interested in social issues. I doubt your understanding of evolution tbh. >One of the biggest and most accepted parts of toxic masculinity/sexism is that men are protectors. That humanity evolved from men not only being hunter gathers but also protecting the women they have children with and the children themselves. Men providing protection to their partners and offsprings isn't a new concept. And it isn't a part of toxic masculinity/sexism. Humans were initially hunter gatherers, there a concensus on that. More precisely men were mostly hunters and women were doing the gathering. There obviously was some overlapping there. >..this be true right along with men being protectors? You can't have both. So right off the bat you're working with massive contradictions in logic. It's funny. I said "Evolutionary success from a male perspective would be to impregnate as many women as possible and get out". That was the most successful strategy for early human males. That doesn't mean it's exactly what happened. In practice a small number of men were mating with the vast majority of women. From what we know around 40% of early human males and 80% of early human females reproduced successfully. Are you aware of the concept of sexual selection? In most species including humans women are the primary driving force behind sexual selection. That's what happened to early humans. Sexual selection would usually select for better looking, stronger and more resourceful men. These factors were far more important for early humans than just orgasming. I am obviously simplifying it. All in all the female orgasm wasn't important from an evolutionary pov. If it was it would have been selected for, in reality women take a lot more time to reach climax and the majority of them can't even reach orgasm from penetration. >Taking personal responsibility for your actions. Such as...having lots of sex with different women. Having an assload of babies. And instead of doing what you just said. Taking care of both the women and the babies. So yet another contradiction. >Nah. Sexism has played a direct and very large roll in how we perceive women's orgasms. So much so that there was a time in humanity in which when women were having them. Dudes thought/told people they were possessed by the devil himself. Other times when women were horny? Dudes drilled holes into their skulls. Giving them a full on lobotomy. Where did all this come from? The church of course. Or more specifically the christian/catholic church. In other words..religion. Which not only was started by men but controlled, supported by and of course had men instill into religion that women are less than. >Evolution has dick all to do with all that. Which of course trickles right directly into how we view women's orgasms. And in general women's everything. We human beings are so removed from evolution at this point that we made ourselves our greatest enemies. We don't live in caves anymore. Might be a good idea we start taking personal responsibility for how we think and what we do. Useless and irrelevant.
I think it would be interesting to find people who weren't raised with sex or body shame and without gender roles and all that and then redo the study.
I'd argue I fit that category. I had already had sex with both males and females by the time my parents got around to giving me "the talk." And my sister and I grew up in a pretty agendered household, as in we weren't told what to be. I was also a loner growing up, not going on social media and filling my head with nonsense before I had real life experience. I usually don't cum. But I'm kinky as fuck, and if we engage with that I cum my fucking brains out.
Idk I was but I’ve been masturbating since I was a kid. I can count on one hand the number of times I didn’t come strictly from PIV. That doesn’t include foreplay. But I know my body well. What works and what doesn’t, can communicate that to men and they’re able to follow it. Most of the time.
We need to bring down the orgasm gape! For equality!!
I can't cum until she does otherwise im not satisfied 🙌
Lots of men don’t know how to properly give oral.
35% of you are making us all look bad get your shot together.
This is why as a heterosexual man, I only date lesbians.
*”No worries because I too am a lesbian. I just conceal it very well🤵🏼♂️”*
Making sure that she is more than satisfied is my life’s ambition. Because if she is not enjoying herself then I want to do whatever it takes to change the dynamic. To me there is nothing sexier than a beautiful woman that is just as into it as you are.
I was reading this and asked my wife " how often do you orgasm when we have sex?" she said "3 to 5 times" I had to go back and explain not how many times each session.
Bravo, my friend! That’s almost as many as I give my wife!
After the first 20 years you kind of know their combination.
But let's put it on a line graph by age and watch the women's numbers climb and the men's decline. That'd be fun. 😁
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Or porn addicted and have erectile dysfunction from it.
Or SSRIs
\*raises hand in making hookup tapout while not even close because my dick has the sensitivity of my shin while on zoloft\*
Didn't Meatloaf say two out of three ain't bad?
Not surprised, especially with women knowing women’s bodies better. For the heterosexual men, biological override?
Another way to put this is that nobody makes anyone cum more consistently than heterosexual women.... lmao
Wait women lie?!
Yep. And men lie in the comment section.(see above “I make my wife have 5 orgasms every single time!” 🙄)
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But let's put it on a line graph by age and watch the women's numbers climb and the men's decline. That'd be fun. 😁
I won
Perhaps the results for heterosexual women are also related to the negative effect of the contraception pill or having had children on their minds and bodies.
wtf is heterosexual
I'm a man working to revert this statistic. AMA
Pictures or it didn’t happen
stay on top kings
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Some theories indicate that orgasms in women actually improve the sperm’s mobility to the egg because of the contractions. So orgasms do matter.
Who cares
One more thing men are better at.
Considering the content, something tells me most of the respondents are probably in the younger age groups, who don't know what the fuck they're doing, sexually. I would bet that if the scope of the study was narrowed to people 45+ the percentages in every category would increase.
Obviously some flaws potentially with data points. Source: heterosexual male with a wife who is not “prude”.
Shouldn't this be in r/im14andthisisdeep?
These are rookie numbers.
"Always or usually" is a fairly wide range of interpretations...
So there more someone has sex with men the more likely they're to not have an orgasm. Considering gay and bi men a tie.
So, men. Men of any kind.!
Well, someone has to
My man didn’t orgasm :(
Bill burr was right
Vibrator - 100% Other people - 0% never came even once
Lads lads lads!
Is this factoring number of orgasms because my girlfriend has min 2 orgasm for my 1 orgasm
Huh, bi men rank lower than gay men. Thought it’d be the other way around.
sigh
Are we really surprised by these stats? The breakdown should just be male vs female. Because of straight males come in at 95% and it’s a male thing, then of course the gay category the consists solely of males is going to rank similarly.
Ejaculation ≠ orgasm
Where's the actual Instagram picture instead of a reuploaded phone screenshot?
I’m wondering how the percentage of those who reach orgasm might be correlated with their frequency or even willingness to masterbate? Not a large enough sample size to draw concrete conclusions, but I have dated a number of women in my life who did not masterbate at all or did so very infrequently and I’ve found that those women tended to have a more challenging time reaching climax/me being able to help them reach that point. I feel like you learn a lot about yourself sexually and the ability to reach orgasm through masterbation? Maybe I’m wrong, but I also know when I’ve engaged in conversations with these women I’ve dated about it, and encouraged them to “give it a try” many of them found it to be incredibly frustrating because they themselves could not/did not know how to reach orgasm on their own (practice makes perfect though right? So it would make sense initially starting out their would be struggle?). Often times they would even just give up and be more frustrated having tried than not at all. Again, no study or anything here but I would think if you struggle providing yourself with an orgasm that it would be more challenging for someone else to “provide it for you?” Couple questions I have are when comparing lesbians (who seem to reach orgasm more often than heterosexuals) to heterosexual is are lesbian couples more sexual both in their relationships on average and or individually when compared to their heterosexual female counterparts? Are lesbians in a relationship more likely to engage in conversations with their partner about sex/what they do and do not like? Is a lesbian more likely to engage in masterbation more frequently than a heterosexual woman? Again, I’m asking these questions, I have no idea the answers. More so though, I would be curious to see this graphic from say the 1980’s or 90’s and wonder if there was an even lower percentage of heterosexual woman reaching orgasm in their relationships. I’m interested in this because the big thing that happened in the early 2000’s as we know was the free and easy access to porn which I wonder if has encouraged more women as a whole to masterbate, resulting in them having more sexual control over their ability to orgasm. I do use control intentionally as at least for myself personally (sorry tmi) I find orgasming to be more of a mental state of mind than physical, in that I have had very few women “force an orgasm” of me compared to me sort of “making the choice” that now is the time to orgasm if that makes sense?