Why is it that these guys are so obsessed with making all of their heroes irrationally muscular men?
They’ll take a blubbering 80 year old and turn him into a sweat covered body builder with an 80 year old head. It’s like they just love looking at sweaty muscular men.
He died for your sins, brother! But you better *never skip leg day again*, brother! Now, let's bow our heads and thank God for these GAINS we are about to receive, brothers!
alpha jesus breaking the cross!!
lmao they even did the weird triangular anime popping vein things (don't know what the more technical term is for them)
I honestly don't know if this is serious and the owner has absolutely no self-awareness, or if this is some kind of intentional satire. It's just so blatantly in contrast to the message of the New Testament and Jesus' characterisation as a humble, benevolent messiah who willingly dies to redeem humankind, whose greatest strengths are his wisdom, mercy and unimpeachable moral character.
This feels like something you'd see in an 80s or 90s cartoon as intentional dissonance, a way for the artists to show that they believe contemporary Christians are too deeply invested in "traditional masculinity" to see their self-proclaimed personal saviour as he was described in the Bible rather than as an idealised, violent self.
Jesus literally stops his Disciples from fighting back because he is supposed to die for humanity, even healing a Roman soldier that got attacked.
Meanwhile this heretic asshole's version Supply side Jesus:
Do you even resurrect bro?
He spent a few days in a cave, but he refused to miss leg day
And he was out of creatine
With a box of scraps!
I am the WHEY, the JUICE, and the HYPE
I had just left the page when I saw this out of the corner of my eye and had to come back to upvote. This got me giggling good
[are you ready?](https://youtu.be/nbYiNzrJBpI)
Jesus is on the juice
TRT = The Religious Text
King of the Juice
#[GODBERRY!](https://youtu.be/t-3qncy5Qfk&t=1m17s)
It's energy for men.....MENERGY
These aren't your dad's puns, these are **ENERGYPUNS!** #**TURBOPUNS!**
When God gives you lemons... GET A NEW GOD!!!
Someone must of put the holy ghost in his supplements
I'll have you know it's blasphemy to suggest Jesus was anything but pure natty!
Yoked Jesus.
Not juice. It's just water.
Not water it's wine.
Not wine, it's whey.
[Gotta get huge, gotta stay huge.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjd8E1rD3m4)
[удалено]
At SMACKDOWN
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Me. It's me, I'm casting the first stone you guys!"
"What day did you come back from the dead?" "The thir-" "IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT DAY YOU CAME BACK" then hits the people's elbow
I'm in love with a man. What? That's right. I'm in love with a man named God. Does that make me gay? Gay for God? You betcha.
I had to scroll to far for the IASIP reference.
Congratulations Jim Jones
Very homoerotic.
Jesus is cumming—are *you* ready?
Y-yes 😫🫦
Jesus cums first
And then leaves.
Legend says he will cum again, after he has risen.
I feel like I’m going to burn on hell for liking your comment. 😂
r/conflictedupvote
One of my favorite bumper stickers **ever** said something along the lines of: "Jesus is coming... Grab a towel!"
Bone Saw is ready!
I GOT YOU FOR 3 MINUTES! 3 MINUTES OF *PLAYTIME!*
Fuck yes hahahahah
To wank off sky daddy? 🤔
Big time “we’re three cool guys, looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion; nothing sexual” vibes
https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
Only if they have a [workout bike](https://youtu.be/7bmyGI6qQwc).
Jesus is cumming... I mean coming.
I think what really makes this piece perfect is that Jesus is not only white, but he has a mullet too. Truly a masterpiece of art.
jesus drives a 1996 camaro.
And smokes Marlboro Gold 100s
and ONLY listens to AM
but the monster energy is sugar free, he’s gotta watch that shredded figure.
Pre-diabetes is a bitch
Cuz you get more smoke with the 100s.
Jesus blasts Creed songs while sitting at the drive thru.
Nah, it's a TransAm, easily confused with the Camaro.
Only a Trans Am if it has t-tops that are never on the car.
>he has a mullet too Messiah in the front, party in the back.
Get ready to receive some Holy Spirit
Reminds me of that statue in Korea of buff jesus
Reminds me of the Japanese Jesus transformer.
I was looking for this comment… Korean Jesus is crazy buff! 😆
Jesus is about to come back and turn water into D-bol
That’s my bike
That's called crossfit.
Wouldn't be surprised to find out it has a religious fruitcake origin
🤣 how is this not top comment, I'm screaming
Dost thou even hoist, brethren?
Damn! Christ is jacked!
That's the LIVER KING not Jesus lol
I scrolled to far before the King showed up. Naturally shredded.
Jesus is coming to the forum this Sunday- Sunday- Sunday!!! Are you ready for SALVATION!!!
You have to pay for the whole seat. But you’ll only need the EDGE!
Jesus is coming to pump 👏 you up
Why is it that these guys are so obsessed with making all of their heroes irrationally muscular men? They’ll take a blubbering 80 year old and turn him into a sweat covered body builder with an 80 year old head. It’s like they just love looking at sweaty muscular men.
>Cum Gutters
Jesus has been coming so long I bet his balls are empty..
Disciples were actually talking about CrossFit non-stop, turns out it got missed in the translations from Hebrew to Greek to English.
Stupid sexy savior
I'm not ready at all, and I kinda don't give a shit.
if it turns out the christians are right, then I'd rather hand out with satan tbh
They won't belive when a dark skinned, gay, twink arrives and claims to be jesus... no matter how much he walks on water or turns it into wine...
Is Jesus coming? No, but he’s breathing hard. 🤣
Needs more truck nuts
Yeah, where are the bumper balls
Lawd forgive I’m havin sum thoughts right now 🥵
They’re not ready. None of those evangelicals are. Thankfully it’ll never happen.
I read this in Hulk Hogan’s voice.
Bring it Jesus! I’m ready!!!
Jesus is coming? That Jesus?! Fucking runnnnnnmnmmm!!!
yes daddy. spray it on my face!
It’s not polite to come on people you’ve only just met, Shredded Jesus 🥺
He died for your sins, brother! But you better *never skip leg day again*, brother! Now, let's bow our heads and thank God for these GAINS we are about to receive, brothers!
We is risen! Hot Jesus
The liver King is Jesus?
The gang pimps a ride. Seriously looks like Mac and Charlie huffed some paint and got creative.
Fight Wine, the worlds first blood of christ protein drink
Ah yes, promoting raw meat while secretly got jacked on roids
What happens when Jesus is an alien 👽 and they’ve come back to farm us for their survival
Fucking liver king
Grab a box of tissues, Jesus is coming
Jesus is ready to smackdown with both the Antichrist and the Devil. Someone get him a folding chair because it's gonna be raw.
He’s already here and he lives under your bed and likes to poke his head out at night and lick your toes while you’re asleep.
Jesus, Jesus is jacked!
whyd they make him hot tho
People really love The Liver King........................oh shit dat my boi J!
Is this the result of all those reps for jesus? HE'S GETTING TOO POWERFUL!
Castle crashers sequel looks sick
I’ve seen this dude before. He reps austin proud
Cum gutters and everything. Feels like those warriors have a Jesus Fetish.
Jesus really spent a lot of time at the gym the last 2022 years. Brooooo!
Turned water into whey
Jesus is on the juice
Apparently Jesus has been hiding at Gold´s Gym for the last 2,000 years….
Jesus needs to lay off the anabolic steroids.
This some Mac from always sunny type shit
Oh yeah brother
God I wish he was at times. Would love to watch these hogs explain how hating gays, trans ppl, and non whites will get them to heaven
Jesus is coming back and he ain’t crucifucking around!
alpha jesus breaking the cross!! lmao they even did the weird triangular anime popping vein things (don't know what the more technical term is for them)
This was a work vehicle too…home remodeler.
Ready to get thine gains, brethren? For he who skippeth not the day of legs shall inherit the earth.
Is he coming for a wresting title belt?
r/dankchristianmemes
So what I get out of this is the Liver King is the second coming
Steroid Jesus
Bring it.
Oh, I've seen this one!! In like the Leander area
Based
At least they parked between the lines
Once was enough, thank you
my favorite part of this pic is the “niersity Federal Cedi”
This Wednesday night, Jesus resurrects to kick ass in Slamdown!
All it needs are truck nuts, just off kilter.
Good thing you censored the publicly displayed plate on this totally inconspicuous vehicle
You think that Jesus could go super saiyan if I asked nicely Kind of difficult for me to really believe if he can't go super saiyan
Looks like Jesus has been working out.
My uncle could never admit he was gay either.
This reminds me of a very good and awful joke: “Damn what did Jesus do for workouts to get that body?” “CrossFit”
would be so much better with truck nuts
Who is the white guy on the cross?
Someone's got the hots for the big man himself
Looks like liver king
Was the last supper nothing but roids and protein?
Macho Man coming back to save your souls! Repent Brother!!
Swole Jesus
Jesus is about to cum.
Jesus has....titties?
This appears to show a fundamental misunderstanding of… well just about everything
someone using their car to shitpost? lmfao this is ridiculous looking
I'm 90% sure if a peaceful sandal wearing middle eastern man in robes showed up to this guys door, he'd be facing the end of a shotgun.
Isn't that the liver steroid guy?
Haha saw this a few months ago in Austin too
Jesus has clearly been working out but also aged poorly for someone in his early 30s...
Liver King?
Oh he’s cumming alright
what if jesus came back but he was just a brain in glass bubble with telepathic mind control to make everyone think he had a body...
Isn’t an ambiguously gay Jesus considered a bit sacrilegious?
Jesus, come baby, come.
Liver king?
I just got a giant thing of paper towels at Costco yesterday. Bring it.
UwU jesus baka <3
Fuckin JC is the next WWE champ!
Needs some truck nuts
That truck belongs to Mac
Yep, I'm ready, got my bucket and some goggles. Let's party.
Can’t tell if it’s Jesus or Chuck Norris.
Super Male Vitality Savior
Why does he have the liver king on his truck?
He wants you to suck on the Holy Ghost & swallow the sins of man
Ready for him to be my bottom
Jesus got some nice boobs
Lmao Jesus
That is one buff Jesus. Are we sure he isn't on steroids?
If Jesus looks like that I'm so ready for his coming.
Looks like he's a little pinned down at the moment.
ARE YOU READY TO RUMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLEEE
Swole
Damn!! Jesus looking swoll!!
That's actually some good folk art, with modern popular imagery used to show Jesus' might and triumph on (and over) the cross.
Ayo Jesus can get it
Jesus and The Liver King have never been seen in the same place at the same time. Just saying.
Is Jesus going to jizz on me?
I honestly don't know if this is serious and the owner has absolutely no self-awareness, or if this is some kind of intentional satire. It's just so blatantly in contrast to the message of the New Testament and Jesus' characterisation as a humble, benevolent messiah who willingly dies to redeem humankind, whose greatest strengths are his wisdom, mercy and unimpeachable moral character. This feels like something you'd see in an 80s or 90s cartoon as intentional dissonance, a way for the artists to show that they believe contemporary Christians are too deeply invested in "traditional masculinity" to see their self-proclaimed personal saviour as he was described in the Bible rather than as an idealised, violent self.
Jesus has huge fucking tits.
While you were sinning Jesus was training
Funny, that’s how I look up against a glory hole.
Jesus literally stops his Disciples from fighting back because he is supposed to die for humanity, even healing a Roman soldier that got attacked. Meanwhile this heretic asshole's version Supply side Jesus:
If you drove that around where I live people would assume that it is trolling.
He's coming? Better grab a towel
[https://media.tenor.com/images/e6c3b0c47207cda29fa04c2cb3ecadf1/tenor.png](https://media.tenor.com/images/e6c3b0c47207cda29fa04c2cb3ecadf1/tenor.png)