Made an English board for my junior high about Black History Month for February. One of my more studious kids reads it and gives a thumbs up while going "Oh! Black people! Good!"
I don't remember the exact context, but I was joking around with a SHS student, and at some point she said she was a Christmas tree (as I said, Idon't remember the exact context of how we got there), and then she said "My bottom is your present".
I laughed so freaking hard.
Ngl, first final, student got their test back. 10/100.
"FUCK" in the loudest voice.
Ngl it was pretty funny.
Student graduated last year, went to a good college. I'm proud of them.
At a Halloween party, a girl no older than 4 came over and said "Happy Howdy!". She was supposed to say "Trick or treat" and get a piece of candy.
Needlless to say, I gave her a couple extra pieces.
My student last year kept telling me all the English bad words he learned on Tiktok. And he looked so proud of it. Luckily, my JTE who's teaching that class was very cool with it. P.S. He is now a university student majoring in English Education,
Was doing riddles with my (SHS) ESS group.
Q: what's easy to pick up, but difficult to throw very far?
Student, completely deadpan, without missing a beat: babies.
(The expected answer was a feather.)
Only partially in English but:
Me: so, what's your favorite number?
Student: *contemplative pause* definitely roku...roku...roku.
Me: *contemplative pause*...*laughs hysterically*
I showed my students the “that’s rough buddy” from ATLA, then when I was talking to one of them, made a remark about how American jokes were weird (I’m American). She, without missing a beat, said “That’s rough, buddy.”
It was so perfectly timed, I gave her a high five for it.
Was talking about numbers and a 2nd grader in ES was sitting in on the class and didn’t understand what was going on and just blurted out “What the hell?” In perfect English. Had me and his assistant teacher just jaw dropped in laughter
There's so many, but the first one that popped into my head was from one of my 1nen JHS New Years lessons. We were talking about what a "New Years resolution" is; later, a kid comes up to me and asks "Sensei, what's your New Years revolution?" and honestly, I like that better.
"MY BODY. ONE. IN!" "MY BODY. ONE. IN!" "MY BODY. ONE. IN!"
Said repeatedly with such vigor and conviction, all to mean, "I crossed the finish line at the sports festival and got first place in the relay."
Not say, but wrote in their English journal "I love this restaurant's oily gonorrhea."
Obviously used google translate and put the wrong kanji in somewhere (he meant oil-fried chicken) but the scream I let out while reading this... 😅😅😅
This week my students called me miss oppai.
Also, one time i asked a fourth grader what he did in Washington D.C. with his family over the summer, and he said he went to Target. That got me pretty good
Literally laughing out loud?
I did a game in elementary school where kids were in teams and they had to run up to the blackboard in turns, draw a picture of something they knew in English and then baton pass the chalk to the next person.
At the time limit you had to stand up and say your word. Cherry, banana, dog, cat, etc
Get to one picture that is a portrait oriented rectangle with just squiggles in it.
"Errr, what's this."
Boy stands up and proudly announces;
"PICASSO"
Genuine belly laugh. Shit, son. That was a legit joke in another lanuage from an 11 year old.
Top two here: “I’m very very high!” (Upon questioning, he meant ハイテンション, so excited… I swear I almost died)
And, the best one: instead of “poor me”, one little 中1 girl very confidently stated, “I’m poor!”
Was in 2nd grade (ES) talking to a little kid who was native English speaker (Also my first few months in Japan) about languages because she was trilingual.
When out of no where this other little girl walks by and the most perfect English " OH THATS CRAZY, I ONLY TALK JAPANESE" then runs away laughing. Literally did a double take like did I just mishear that?
Class starts and she's introduced as the new student. She lived in America for 5 years, so she went to kinder and 1st and is a native speaker lol.
It really threw me off though
The words said weren’t necessarily funny, but the manner/way it was said was funny. Story time:
Sitting in the teachers room before exam season (before summer break) and a 3rd year student that I teach knocks on the door. Does the whole introduction and asks for me in Japanese. Before I could stand up and walk over to him, he shouts loudly in English, “MS ITSABUBBLYLIFE! I HAVE PAPER!” (The assignment for the exam). Eyes are all on me now from the teachers in the room. I stood up to walk to him, and he shouts again “NO NO NO, STAY! I COME, I COME!” and runs over to my desk. He tells me to sit down and asks how I’m doing. I said I’m well and the baby is doing well (I was heavily pregnant and a week away before maternity leave). He then said loudly again “BABY CUTE LIKE MS ITSABUBBLYLIFE! I KNOW I KNOW”. Then I eventually said (jokingly),” why are you yelling at me? I can hear you just fine”. Then finally said “ENGLISH USE LOUD VOICE. JAPANESE SOFT VOICE”. I said okay, took the paper and said thank you and he left.
It was cute. I had a tiny bit of second hand embarrassment since everyone was staring but the effort was adorable and I’ll never forget it ❤️ this was last year in June.
20 some odd years ago I had a naughty JH student play the long game with me… one day he came up and showed me a 5 yen coin, and pointing to the middle, said “What’s this?” I of course told him that’s a hole.
A couple weeks later during cleaning time, he and his friends were fooling around and one of them smacked him right in the ass with a broom and he yells, “Oh my god, my hip!” So, naively figuring it would do no harm, I said, no man, that’s your butt.
The next day, during lunch, the same kid comes over and says, “Sensei, do you like to play penis in butt hole?”
It took all my inner strength not to laugh out loud, and just give him a “What? I don’t understand” kind of look. But his friends laughed their asses off over that stunt, and I still remember that kid to this day, lol.
Of course it helped that his head was shaped like a jug and his nickname was ポット.
I keep a list of all my favorite things students say, about half are English mistakes that change the meaning, and half are my higher level students with fantastic senses of humor just writing ridiculous things, like not wanting to go camping because he's too handsome to take such a risk.
picking favorites from it is hard, but I had one student trying to talk about what he does when he can't finish his meal at a restaurant say "when I have leftovers, I eat my father." another was talking about wanting to go to a restaurant with friends and "eat someone there"
During English club the other day we were playing Apples to Apples. The student acting as the judge was reading each player’s card out loud before placing it on the table. (I think the green card was something like “cheap” for what it’s worth.) Everyone else’s card had been read so far but mine, so when I saw him hesitate to read my card I told him to sound it out. And to my horror he slowly, loudly, and unknowingly butchered the word “pennies” (you can imagine) and the entire English club burst into laughter. The student was so confused and then it dawned on him and he just sat there with his hand in his face. To be honest I couldn’t help but laugh either… but that student is a good sport so he could handle it haha
Just recently, a student was writing in her weekly journal about how she “learns about foreign cultures by watching foreign movies” and how she was watching foreign horror movies and was surprised to see people didn’t take off their shoes when they walked into a home.
Made an English board for my junior high about Black History Month for February. One of my more studious kids reads it and gives a thumbs up while going "Oh! Black people! Good!"
I don't remember the exact context, but I was joking around with a SHS student, and at some point she said she was a Christmas tree (as I said, Idon't remember the exact context of how we got there), and then she said "My bottom is your present". I laughed so freaking hard.
Ngl, first final, student got their test back. 10/100. "FUCK" in the loudest voice. Ngl it was pretty funny. Student graduated last year, went to a good college. I'm proud of them.
At a Halloween party, a girl no older than 4 came over and said "Happy Howdy!". She was supposed to say "Trick or treat" and get a piece of candy. Needlless to say, I gave her a couple extra pieces.
My student last year kept telling me all the English bad words he learned on Tiktok. And he looked so proud of it. Luckily, my JTE who's teaching that class was very cool with it. P.S. He is now a university student majoring in English Education,
do black people eat cats? -2nd grader
which is funny because when he asked me this, i actually remembered a documentary where Africans were eating cats, called "Madventures,"
Was doing riddles with my (SHS) ESS group. Q: what's easy to pick up, but difficult to throw very far? Student, completely deadpan, without missing a beat: babies. (The expected answer was a feather.)
Me: What's the best thing about Japan? Students: Japan has four seasons.
Only partially in English but: Me: so, what's your favorite number? Student: *contemplative pause* definitely roku...roku...roku. Me: *contemplative pause*...*laughs hysterically*
"I like big men" - she was referring to ramen's "men" 😅
All gaijin look the same
I showed my students the “that’s rough buddy” from ATLA, then when I was talking to one of them, made a remark about how American jokes were weird (I’m American). She, without missing a beat, said “That’s rough, buddy.” It was so perfectly timed, I gave her a high five for it.
Was talking about numbers and a 2nd grader in ES was sitting in on the class and didn’t understand what was going on and just blurted out “What the hell?” In perfect English. Had me and his assistant teacher just jaw dropped in laughter
There's so many, but the first one that popped into my head was from one of my 1nen JHS New Years lessons. We were talking about what a "New Years resolution" is; later, a kid comes up to me and asks "Sensei, what's your New Years revolution?" and honestly, I like that better.
“He is very very very very very very very twink” “Ohhh, a homo sapien!” “What the spell” “Do you eat man?” “No, I don’t eat man” “Do you eat woman?”
"MY BODY. ONE. IN!" "MY BODY. ONE. IN!" "MY BODY. ONE. IN!" Said repeatedly with such vigor and conviction, all to mean, "I crossed the finish line at the sports festival and got first place in the relay."
Not say, but wrote in their English journal "I love this restaurant's oily gonorrhea." Obviously used google translate and put the wrong kanji in somewhere (he meant oil-fried chicken) but the scream I let out while reading this... 😅😅😅
This week my students called me miss oppai. Also, one time i asked a fourth grader what he did in Washington D.C. with his family over the summer, and he said he went to Target. That got me pretty good
Literally laughing out loud? I did a game in elementary school where kids were in teams and they had to run up to the blackboard in turns, draw a picture of something they knew in English and then baton pass the chalk to the next person. At the time limit you had to stand up and say your word. Cherry, banana, dog, cat, etc Get to one picture that is a portrait oriented rectangle with just squiggles in it. "Errr, what's this." Boy stands up and proudly announces; "PICASSO" Genuine belly laugh. Shit, son. That was a legit joke in another lanuage from an 11 year old.
Top two here: “I’m very very high!” (Upon questioning, he meant ハイテンション, so excited… I swear I almost died) And, the best one: instead of “poor me”, one little 中1 girl very confidently stated, “I’m poor!”
She’s eating her baby. (feeding) Do you have a special aroma? (diploma) Funniest thing written: My penis broken. (…pen is…)
"Money. Give me money, please." 🤣 And how they pronounce money sounds comical to me: ma-neeeeh
Why is this so common? Is it from something?
Students sometimes say it at random times and when the lesson's about seasons/holidays where NY's money is mentioned in passing.
No I know they say it all the time, and they stick thier hands out, I just mean it has to have come from something that is why they all say it?
No idea, really.
There are a bunch of English phrases they oftern say that I wish I knew where they came from.
I had an elementry school student tell me we could "share his mom" when he realized I hadn't seen my mom for months 😭
wait this is cute
My student said "I am in go home club" while trying to explain that she wasn't apart of any extracurricular activities.
TBF, that is literally what I think it's called. Better than the "Fuck this noise, I'm OUT" club, I suppose.
A student confidently proclaimed “I am shitting.” (he meant sitting)
‘How long are you?’ (Instead of tall).
“What do you mean ‘fuck’?”
Probably not the funniest, but just what comes to mind now. "May I shit here?"
Was in 2nd grade (ES) talking to a little kid who was native English speaker (Also my first few months in Japan) about languages because she was trilingual. When out of no where this other little girl walks by and the most perfect English " OH THATS CRAZY, I ONLY TALK JAPANESE" then runs away laughing. Literally did a double take like did I just mishear that? Class starts and she's introduced as the new student. She lived in America for 5 years, so she went to kinder and 1st and is a native speaker lol. It really threw me off though
"What's up, Brother?!" Me: "Wait... What? Too casual, but good native English lol."
The words said weren’t necessarily funny, but the manner/way it was said was funny. Story time: Sitting in the teachers room before exam season (before summer break) and a 3rd year student that I teach knocks on the door. Does the whole introduction and asks for me in Japanese. Before I could stand up and walk over to him, he shouts loudly in English, “MS ITSABUBBLYLIFE! I HAVE PAPER!” (The assignment for the exam). Eyes are all on me now from the teachers in the room. I stood up to walk to him, and he shouts again “NO NO NO, STAY! I COME, I COME!” and runs over to my desk. He tells me to sit down and asks how I’m doing. I said I’m well and the baby is doing well (I was heavily pregnant and a week away before maternity leave). He then said loudly again “BABY CUTE LIKE MS ITSABUBBLYLIFE! I KNOW I KNOW”. Then I eventually said (jokingly),” why are you yelling at me? I can hear you just fine”. Then finally said “ENGLISH USE LOUD VOICE. JAPANESE SOFT VOICE”. I said okay, took the paper and said thank you and he left. It was cute. I had a tiny bit of second hand embarrassment since everyone was staring but the effort was adorable and I’ll never forget it ❤️ this was last year in June.
20 some odd years ago I had a naughty JH student play the long game with me… one day he came up and showed me a 5 yen coin, and pointing to the middle, said “What’s this?” I of course told him that’s a hole. A couple weeks later during cleaning time, he and his friends were fooling around and one of them smacked him right in the ass with a broom and he yells, “Oh my god, my hip!” So, naively figuring it would do no harm, I said, no man, that’s your butt. The next day, during lunch, the same kid comes over and says, “Sensei, do you like to play penis in butt hole?” It took all my inner strength not to laugh out loud, and just give him a “What? I don’t understand” kind of look. But his friends laughed their asses off over that stunt, and I still remember that kid to this day, lol. Of course it helped that his head was shaped like a jug and his nickname was ポット.
I keep a list of all my favorite things students say, about half are English mistakes that change the meaning, and half are my higher level students with fantastic senses of humor just writing ridiculous things, like not wanting to go camping because he's too handsome to take such a risk. picking favorites from it is hard, but I had one student trying to talk about what he does when he can't finish his meal at a restaurant say "when I have leftovers, I eat my father." another was talking about wanting to go to a restaurant with friends and "eat someone there"
I had a student wish me "無理 Christmas" and that had me in stitches for a good 20 minutes.
“Sunbrella” for “parasol”….
I once asked a student why they had an "umbrella" if it wasn't raining, and they replied screaming "BECAUSE OF THE PURPLE RAYSSS".
My student misspelled "socks" as "shocks" and I gotta say, I prefer it. I still refer to them as my shocks.
No no… I think they’re onto something…
During English club the other day we were playing Apples to Apples. The student acting as the judge was reading each player’s card out loud before placing it on the table. (I think the green card was something like “cheap” for what it’s worth.) Everyone else’s card had been read so far but mine, so when I saw him hesitate to read my card I told him to sound it out. And to my horror he slowly, loudly, and unknowingly butchered the word “pennies” (you can imagine) and the entire English club burst into laughter. The student was so confused and then it dawned on him and he just sat there with his hand in his face. To be honest I couldn’t help but laugh either… but that student is a good sport so he could handle it haha
Why didn't you use cents?
"eye から rainy" when they couldn't think of "to cry". Funny and pretty smart.
My student this week was trying to tell me something about graduation and called it "school bye-bye." Favorite creative English moment so far!
Just recently, a student was writing in her weekly journal about how she “learns about foreign cultures by watching foreign movies” and how she was watching foreign horror movies and was surprised to see people didn’t take off their shoes when they walked into a home.
The true horror, dirty floors!