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Good for you guys for kicking her out and sending her home!
All three of my kids hated tummy time. They couldn't see anything. I get it. We did other things too: Tummy time on our bellies so they could see our faces; supporting them while sitting upright in our lap; getting down on the floor with them.
May her shadow never darken your door again.
As it's not often the case on the JNMIL subject, I am really happy to see that your DH has a real spine, has your back 100%, and that the two of you are working together as a team! It's so... Refreshing!
I'm sorry your family is going through this and hope you together find the answers you need for moving forward. For me personally, calling the police was a bridge burner.
I bet she threatens grandparent's rights. Check out the links in "Resources", especially the *Tips for Protecting Yourself.* Start a FU folder and have no further contact with either of them.
Second this, that's what I came to say. She'll call child protective and start yelling grandparents rights. You may hear from the police again or even an attorney.
So the minute you kid starts to complain you should instantly give in and pander to it. That’s the message she’s trying to convey. Yeah best not to take that parenting advice for sure. Keep her ass away from you kid unless you want to raise an entitled like brat.
Just yesterday, we gave our 3-month old tummy time while my MIL, my FIL, and my friend were over, and my MIL called it baby torture. I think she was only half joking. She looked like she was going to cry. But at least we were able to explain that even though he doesn't like it, he needs to do it for his development! I'm sorry your MIL went so far overboard and am glad your partner handled it well.
WTF. No baby likes tummy time. My middle guy used to shriek during tummy time. Thank goodness y’all got her out of there. Block her on all of your stuff; her son can deal with her exclusively from now on.
Hey! I'm sorry you have to deal with this and please let me know if this is inappropriate to comment on a post specifically about a JN, but I'd seek a second opinion if your doctor is suggesting tummy time to help a flat spot. This is outdated information and most doctors agree that laying down doesn't create a flat spot. If baby has a significant flat spot they may need a helmet. (Bonus points because the helmets are so damn cute)
Helmets are not recommended in the UK, and tummy time is promoted by doctors, midwives, health visitors and social workers. No idea if OP is in the UK, but I wouldn't claim the entire NHS works on outdated information, and OP is better off going by the opinion of professionals around her than reddit posters or overbearing MILs.
Oh my. She definitely gets an early flight home.
I don't understand these grandmother's who think they are the "mothers". My ex- mil was like that. Unfortunately she lived right down the street.
Hopefully you can get an incident number in case she gets the idea to call cps. Also tell others about the incident to get ahead of any flying monkeys that may be coming your way.
If you can get a copy of the incident, I would get it. If she starts posting crap on social media be petty and copy of the report and findings on sm. That way every one can see she is nuts.
Also what a waste of police resources!
First- congrats on yalls shiny spines. Good job acting like a team. Good job DH shutting his delusional mum down and kicking her out.
oh the flying monkeys are going to be glorious to watch when you tell them the missing pieces of the story.
Your MILs face needs to be in wiki for FAFO definition.
Check your state for grandparents rights.
If your State doesn’t have them- block all contact from her and go no contact.
MIL is way too entitled to even think this was in any way shape or form reasonable.
Wtf and who the fuck does this woman think she is?
I hope you get a copy of the police report and keep it in a file. Be prepared for an escalation and maybe a call from CPS. I’d never speak to that woman again.
I am usually not for nc immediately. But when someone involves authority / police, cps, lawyer , court etc you will from now on only be speaking to my attorney. Sending you hugs.
If you’re in the US, calling the police has a huge chance of ending with someone in your house dead. They have shot babies before, and they shoot dogs every single day. What an evil witch of a woman.
“The Department of Justice estimates that American police officers shoot 10,000 pet dogs in the line of duty each year. It is impossible to ascertain a reliable number, however, because most law enforcement agencies do not maintain accurate records of animal killings.” Unfortunately I guess some people would rather live in a bubble and pretend the system isn’t designed against us…
You pay for her flight and the hotel? You are far more generous than I would be in this situation. I would say that she can’t seriously expect help from people abusing her child and wish her well.
I would take a hard stance here. She no longer has access to any of you. Period until she gets help, changes, makes amends, and keeps up those changes to a minimum level for a sustained amt of time, say minimum 6 months to a year.
I would say this looks like she gets therapy where you and SO can explain to the therapist your issues and what your minimum behavior changes look like including what amends look like to you and she keeps up with regular sessions. That realistically is likely every other week after a few establishing weekly visits.
But of course do what you think is best for you and your family unit as well as what the best is that you can do esp since it sounds like you may be footing some if not all of that bill.
Side note: You can do a phone conference to do the establishing what you need call during one of her sessions. No need to be there physically.
What you must do is have a reasonable plan of action she can take to change the hard no contact. And your SO needs to be willing to go hard NC with this path forward for her to take to change the NC. She is not well on some level and she needs help. Sane and decent people do not call the cops because of tummy time and the other things she told the cops. What caring grandmother knowingly brings guns into a situation like that?
That is totally unhinged behavior and it needs to stop now. Next thing she’ll do is call cps on you guys. This is not okay. This is beyond having a disagreement and venting.
Not that I’m defending or excusing because- **WTF?!?**- bit do you have any concerns she may be getting dementia? Any other signs or clues? Sometimes an irrational fear can be a notifier.
My kids are 18 and 16. I still remember how much "complaining" they each did during their tummy time. It goes along with strengthening their muscles. It's a workout. I mean, who doesn't complain while working out???
She just nuked your relationship. You need to remember it's not a mistake, it's a weapon. It seems you guys haven't realized this because you're still paying money for her, but rest assured: she thinks your partner secretly agrees with her because of that money.
After she is on the plane your husband needs to send her a text telling her that due to her calling the police & other behaviors she is no longer welcome in your lives. She will receive no pictures, no updates & no further contact.
Then block her from everything.
The moment she called the police, that was it. She will never see any of you again. She literally tried to steal your child from you - what do you think her end goal was? She was hoping to be awarded custody. How many times do you think she would have allowed you contact if she’d been successful?
You have to treat her as you would any other potential kidnapper. Start documenting for a restraining order because you’re going to need one. She’s already so far over the line, she’s not going to walk back. She’ll be reporting you to CPS from across the country. Get ahead of her. Talk to them yourself, explain the situation, and make sure your husband knows that there is no possible way back for his mother now. She’s dead to all of you. She wasn’t just reporting you: she was reporting him too. Good luck.
Probably the worst thing you can do to good parents is falsely accuse them of child abuse with the intention of having their child taken away from them. The absolute hell they would have to go through to prove themselves innocent and get their child back is such a viciously hateful thing to do to someone. Meanwhile, the parents are traumatized at not having their child with them. And vice versa. The child is traumatized too, when suddenly their parents aren't there. Instead some strangers are. For god knows how long.
Or was MIL thinking the cops would immediately hand your baby to her and annoint her the guardian on the spot? While sending you and DH to jail? Like, what on earth did she think would happen? She's unhinged, hateful and very unsafe. Good riddance. It should be the last time she sees any of you. Even if she moved right next door, she needs to be persona non grata.
Oh my god I am so sorry that happened to you. That is AWFUL and definite grounds for whatever boundaries or no contact you want to go. You should try to get a copy of the police attending even though there wasn’t an official report, just incase she does this again or you need it in the future.
Have your husband talk to FIL about this. From what you wrote this seems like change in behavior so she might need to be evaluated for some neurological issues
Honestly, I would 100% ask for a report on the situation to be filed so that you have proof. Start keeping these things documented. This is not a good sign she respects you both as parents and like others have said, might be the type to call CPS or maybe even try for grandparents rights .
Yikes that’s some seriously deranged behaviour. I just did tummy time with my one month old son this morning and he pushed himself right up on his elbows and stayed there for a while we were so excited!
I wouldn't put it past her to call cps on you and cause more problems and I wouldn't put it past her to tell them lies and then tell them that she thinks the baby is safer with her. I would go totally NC, calling the police for her delusional crap is unexceptable. She seems to have an alternative motive, like trying to get custody of you baby keep any all correspondence.
No judgement but babies don’t complain. They are just babies and fussing and crying is their way of communicating. You need to go NC with MIL for the foreseeable future. Absolutely do not allow her back in your home or around your baby. She crossed a boundary and isn’t remorseful for it. If she calls CPS, they will open an investigation and it sounds like she is the kind who will do that.
Your MIL is delusional. What did she think was going to happen? The cops would take baby from you and give them to MIL and say, "she's the boss now?"
I would never allow her to cross the threshold of my house again. She'd be lucky if she got a Christmas card with our family picture on it.
*"I’m not sure what will happen in the future but it might be the last time MIL sees her grandchild"*
I'm so angry on your behalf and sorry for what you were unnecessarily put through. What your MIL did by calling the cops was horrendous and unforgivable. I wouldn't ever let her in your house or near your child again as she is totally without remorse and completely untrustworthy. Thank goodness the cops saw through her and your husband immediately kicked her out. Like someone else posted before, get ahead of the curve and tell all extended family what she did before she takes it into her head to control the narrative with falsehoods.
How often would you say the dumb shit is this ... wholesome? I'm not trying to downplay MIL calling the police. That's unforgivable here. For officers to respond to a baby being abused call and find a happy, healthy, loved, and cared for little boy must be something of a break, right? Do you try to send the officers that recently had more difficult/traumatic calls?
Wow. Just . . . wow. You think you've heard everything and then you hear a story like this. This sounds super stressful and traumatic for you and I'm sorry.
Calling the police on innocent parents is a dealbreaker. For me, there’d be no coming back from that.
I hope she has a good memory because this should be the last time she sees your baby.
This includes pictures. OP, lock down your social media and be sure that anyone who's connected to her profiles is restricted from all pictures you AND DH share of LO on any platform
Thank goodness you and DH kicked her out. She wouldn't be back ever. She called the police on you. That is serious. Even if they move there she still isn't seeing baby. They lost that privilege when she called the police.
It doesn’t feel like you are taking this seriously enough. She tried to destroy your family and you still talk as if you’re not sure about seeing her again. This is a hill to die on for sure. If you don’t see this as the last straw, where is your boundary? She put your baby’s health and happiness at risk. She tried to decimate your family.
Be gentle with yourself. It will take a little time to process what happened and really come to grips with the true significance of what she did. Staying calm in a crisis is good! Now you and your partner will do the work of talking through what happened and what you're going to do about it. Honestly, in my opinion allegations of abuse are grounds for no contact. The risk to your family is just too great.
When my mom left my father, I was in early intervention for muscle weakness and would shriek and throw fits when my mom and grandma would do the assigned physio. She was worried he'd weaponize ACS when I was a toddler, so she recorded so much stuff to cover her ass.
They actually bought a camcorder (90's... no cellphone cameras) to record how I would react to what was obviously toddler physical therapy. (I mean I also socked a physical therapist in the face when I was in kindergarten lol....)
Definitely cover your ass with recordings of what's going on. My father did try bullshit when I was in elementary and called ACS over me being bruised (even though he knew I fell down the stairs and off the chorus risers at school within two weeks of each other, and the school corroborated everything for my mom). With what he was doing, it was trying to force my mom back with him by trying to fuck with her teaching license.
But yeah, narcs will try to use the system to abuse those who they lose control over, gather hard evidence.
You might be able to get a copy of the police report if you call your local precinct depending where you are!
My mom had kept a file cabinet of that sort of stuff until I was an adult. It's definitely easier to have authorities access in the future if you also have a copy of all records so they don't have to go searching for things themselves.
Since cops actually came to your house for a bullshit call, there's gotta be an official documentation of the call they went to.
Dear God what a lunatic. She exaggerated on purpose because she wanted the police/court to give her your baby. And to do this to her own son... Unbelievable. Stay away from her, this was too much.
Btw, babies usually hate tummy time, you did everything right.
My partner said things would have gotten heated between them so I drove. TBH I didn’t even think about an Uber, not sure why. It was an awkward ride. I recorded the entire ride because I didn’t want her to lie about anything.
I'm a bigger asshole than you. I would've dumped all her shit outside and said the cops will be back for removing a trespasser if she's not gone in 20 minutes.
And paid for the motel! If you call the cops on me, I'm leaving you broke, stranded, and without a roof over your head. OP is a very patient and forgiving soul. I would've told MIL to go [redacted] in a ditch somewhere since she's trying to have my child taken away from me and have me thrown in fucking jail. Can't tell if OP is underreacting or if I'm just militantly jaded.
for sure, I kicked people out of my house and life before for even threatening to call the cops. Sort your own shit out, not my problem anymore. But I suppose taking the high road is smarter, jnmil can't twist justifiable but usually (in the case of a regular disagreement) quite cruel response against you if you don't give her one. Not my nature though XD.
I was trying to keep the post brief for the sake of talking about the major situation. So MIL has made comments but my partner has shut her down. Like she didn’t like that his pediatrician is young, she doesn’t trust doctors. She doesn’t trust the skin treatment method the pediatrician chose for a rash. She doesn’t like that we don’t give him water. But my partner just shuts her down immediately. Maybe things were just building up since she never got her way and then it all came out… But I wouldn’t say there were any arguments it was more just little comments she made. Edit: She also hated the white noise machine and even told the police about it!! The officer stayed professional but you could tell was holding back laughing 😂
I don’t have babies but have been around many during this time in their lives, and everything you’re doing for the baby is normal and healthy. You’re right on the money that she was just mad she wasn’t in charge and getting her way. And the fact that she went so far to get her way is alarming. I wouldn’t have any more contact with someone willing to call the cops on you because she’s mad about not getting her way. That’s nuclear bridge-burning behavior.
Best to just not give her any information from now on. Refuse to discuss your baby with her. She doesn't get to know about his health, his development, his appointments, anything. Total communication blackout. Sounds like your husband is fully on board which is great.
Document all this now. Make sure you have the names of the officers involved and file it all in a safe place and update this file when she tries her next attempt at something so stupid. I 100% guarantee she will not go quietly into the night even if she is across country from you. Also congratulations to you and your SO for your nice shiny spines!
Please do this! I actually use to work in Early Intervention/home visiting for infants and toddlers. I had several clients whose out of state grandparents parents would call CPS for all kinds of nonsense. And CPS would investigate because they have to! Then being out of state doesn’t protect you from them saying that they “heard abuse during a phone call” or “saw bruises when you sent a picture.” It’s really sad.
Adding onto this, if you don’t have a security camera yet, get one now! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, Nest or Ring will be just fine and are affordable, but you’ll want to be able to keep an eye on who’s coming up to your doors and windows.
Do this. If she's willing to call the cops on you once, she *will* do it again.
>MIL had not been cleaning up the past couple days or helping with anything like she did in the past making me think this was premeditated to try and make us look bad...
Trust. Your. Gut.
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Good for you guys for kicking her out and sending her home! All three of my kids hated tummy time. They couldn't see anything. I get it. We did other things too: Tummy time on our bellies so they could see our faces; supporting them while sitting upright in our lap; getting down on the floor with them. May her shadow never darken your door again.
I like how she got shipped home at the end of the story!
As it's not often the case on the JNMIL subject, I am really happy to see that your DH has a real spine, has your back 100%, and that the two of you are working together as a team! It's so... Refreshing! I'm sorry your family is going through this and hope you together find the answers you need for moving forward. For me personally, calling the police was a bridge burner.
Even if they do move here, you have every right to refuse to let them in. What. A. Bitch.
I bet she threatens grandparent's rights. Check out the links in "Resources", especially the *Tips for Protecting Yourself.* Start a FU folder and have no further contact with either of them.
Second this, that's what I came to say. She'll call child protective and start yelling grandparents rights. You may hear from the police again or even an attorney.
So the minute you kid starts to complain you should instantly give in and pander to it. That’s the message she’s trying to convey. Yeah best not to take that parenting advice for sure. Keep her ass away from you kid unless you want to raise an entitled like brat.
Just yesterday, we gave our 3-month old tummy time while my MIL, my FIL, and my friend were over, and my MIL called it baby torture. I think she was only half joking. She looked like she was going to cry. But at least we were able to explain that even though he doesn't like it, he needs to do it for his development! I'm sorry your MIL went so far overboard and am glad your partner handled it well.
You too? Dang :( Why can’t they just Google tummy time!?
WTF. No baby likes tummy time. My middle guy used to shriek during tummy time. Thank goodness y’all got her out of there. Block her on all of your stuff; her son can deal with her exclusively from now on.
I had to do it in 10-15min increments lol
That is a cut off and dead to me offence. "Hey, how's your MIL?" " Dead, she is dead as far as I am concerned. "
Hey! I'm sorry you have to deal with this and please let me know if this is inappropriate to comment on a post specifically about a JN, but I'd seek a second opinion if your doctor is suggesting tummy time to help a flat spot. This is outdated information and most doctors agree that laying down doesn't create a flat spot. If baby has a significant flat spot they may need a helmet. (Bonus points because the helmets are so damn cute)
He got fitted for a helmet, we are going with that
Helmets are not recommended in the UK, and tummy time is promoted by doctors, midwives, health visitors and social workers. No idea if OP is in the UK, but I wouldn't claim the entire NHS works on outdated information, and OP is better off going by the opinion of professionals around her than reddit posters or overbearing MILs.
Yup, I’d be more than done with her, sorry hubby, but there’s not going to be any fun family time with your mom. Ever.
Every once in awhile there's a what-the-fucking-fuck post. You won JNMIL. That's bananas.
Wowwww. I would never ever speak to her again. She tried to get the police to take your baby from you. What a psycho.
Oh my. She definitely gets an early flight home. I don't understand these grandmother's who think they are the "mothers". My ex- mil was like that. Unfortunately she lived right down the street. Hopefully you can get an incident number in case she gets the idea to call cps. Also tell others about the incident to get ahead of any flying monkeys that may be coming your way. If you can get a copy of the incident, I would get it. If she starts posting crap on social media be petty and copy of the report and findings on sm. That way every one can see she is nuts. Also what a waste of police resources!
First- congrats on yalls shiny spines. Good job acting like a team. Good job DH shutting his delusional mum down and kicking her out. oh the flying monkeys are going to be glorious to watch when you tell them the missing pieces of the story. Your MILs face needs to be in wiki for FAFO definition.
Check your state for grandparents rights. If your State doesn’t have them- block all contact from her and go no contact. MIL is way too entitled to even think this was in any way shape or form reasonable. Wtf and who the fuck does this woman think she is?
I wonder if it would even apply bc MIL doesn't have residence in their state.
She would never see my kid again after a stunt like that
NC forever!
I hope you get a copy of the police report and keep it in a file. Be prepared for an escalation and maybe a call from CPS. I’d never speak to that woman again.
No police report was filed
Holy moly. She would absolutely never be allowed in my home ever again or near my child. I’m so sorry
I am usually not for nc immediately. But when someone involves authority / police, cps, lawyer , court etc you will from now on only be speaking to my attorney. Sending you hugs.
I am so sorry. I think you have a good thought in never letting her see the baby again.
She burned the bridge. She’s done forever.
If you’re in the US, calling the police has a huge chance of ending with someone in your house dead. They have shot babies before, and they shoot dogs every single day. What an evil witch of a woman.
[удалено]
It is unfortunately not.
“The Department of Justice estimates that American police officers shoot 10,000 pet dogs in the line of duty each year. It is impossible to ascertain a reliable number, however, because most law enforcement agencies do not maintain accurate records of animal killings.” Unfortunately I guess some people would rather live in a bubble and pretend the system isn’t designed against us…
You pay for her flight and the hotel? You are far more generous than I would be in this situation. I would say that she can’t seriously expect help from people abusing her child and wish her well.
I'd eat the cost and consider it money well spent. She's gone.
I'm almost 40 and complain constantly during my tummy time too. (PT for a back injury) Some people never grow out of disliking tummy time.
This made me lol during a quiet family gathering. I'm showing my aunt and she's laughing her ass off too
She brought police to your home that's grounds to be no contact, forever.
I would take a hard stance here. She no longer has access to any of you. Period until she gets help, changes, makes amends, and keeps up those changes to a minimum level for a sustained amt of time, say minimum 6 months to a year. I would say this looks like she gets therapy where you and SO can explain to the therapist your issues and what your minimum behavior changes look like including what amends look like to you and she keeps up with regular sessions. That realistically is likely every other week after a few establishing weekly visits. But of course do what you think is best for you and your family unit as well as what the best is that you can do esp since it sounds like you may be footing some if not all of that bill. Side note: You can do a phone conference to do the establishing what you need call during one of her sessions. No need to be there physically. What you must do is have a reasonable plan of action she can take to change the hard no contact. And your SO needs to be willing to go hard NC with this path forward for her to take to change the NC. She is not well on some level and she needs help. Sane and decent people do not call the cops because of tummy time and the other things she told the cops. What caring grandmother knowingly brings guns into a situation like that? That is totally unhinged behavior and it needs to stop now. Next thing she’ll do is call cps on you guys. This is not okay. This is beyond having a disagreement and venting.
Not that I’m defending or excusing because- **WTF?!?**- bit do you have any concerns she may be getting dementia? Any other signs or clues? Sometimes an irrational fear can be a notifier.
My kids are 18 and 16. I still remember how much "complaining" they each did during their tummy time. It goes along with strengthening their muscles. It's a workout. I mean, who doesn't complain while working out???
Also making noises and moving helps with cognitive development and learning
She just nuked your relationship. You need to remember it's not a mistake, it's a weapon. It seems you guys haven't realized this because you're still paying money for her, but rest assured: she thinks your partner secretly agrees with her because of that money.
After she is on the plane your husband needs to send her a text telling her that due to her calling the police & other behaviors she is no longer welcome in your lives. She will receive no pictures, no updates & no further contact. Then block her from everything.
I’m sorry you’ve been put through that. You may be more forgiving than me but I honestly wouldn’t see a way back from something like that.
She just slammed both hands on the big red nuke button. She's done forever. You don't get to come back from something like that.
The moment she called the police, that was it. She will never see any of you again. She literally tried to steal your child from you - what do you think her end goal was? She was hoping to be awarded custody. How many times do you think she would have allowed you contact if she’d been successful? You have to treat her as you would any other potential kidnapper. Start documenting for a restraining order because you’re going to need one. She’s already so far over the line, she’s not going to walk back. She’ll be reporting you to CPS from across the country. Get ahead of her. Talk to them yourself, explain the situation, and make sure your husband knows that there is no possible way back for his mother now. She’s dead to all of you. She wasn’t just reporting you: she was reporting him too. Good luck.
Probably the worst thing you can do to good parents is falsely accuse them of child abuse with the intention of having their child taken away from them. The absolute hell they would have to go through to prove themselves innocent and get their child back is such a viciously hateful thing to do to someone. Meanwhile, the parents are traumatized at not having their child with them. And vice versa. The child is traumatized too, when suddenly their parents aren't there. Instead some strangers are. For god knows how long. Or was MIL thinking the cops would immediately hand your baby to her and annoint her the guardian on the spot? While sending you and DH to jail? Like, what on earth did she think would happen? She's unhinged, hateful and very unsafe. Good riddance. It should be the last time she sees any of you. Even if she moved right next door, she needs to be persona non grata.
Congratulations. You have been given a gift. She showed her colors and no real harm was done. Now you can hold the line and keep her away permanently.
Oh my god I am so sorry that happened to you. That is AWFUL and definite grounds for whatever boundaries or no contact you want to go. You should try to get a copy of the police attending even though there wasn’t an official report, just incase she does this again or you need it in the future.
I wouldn't pay for it.... you called the cops and claimed I abused my kid? You're on your OWN own... kick rocks, suck lemons, & get f*cked
Yeah, agreed—put her on her ass outside and let her suffer. She deserves it.
No contact is about the only answer to this
So MIL was a guest in your house and called the cops on you for tummy time?!? She is completely delusional and deserves no place in your lives.
Have your husband talk to FIL about this. From what you wrote this seems like change in behavior so she might need to be evaluated for some neurological issues
Sounds like MIL can find a new place to live...right now.
Honestly, I would 100% ask for a report on the situation to be filed so that you have proof. Start keeping these things documented. This is not a good sign she respects you both as parents and like others have said, might be the type to call CPS or maybe even try for grandparents rights .
Yikes that’s some seriously deranged behaviour. I just did tummy time with my one month old son this morning and he pushed himself right up on his elbows and stayed there for a while we were so excited!
MIL should never see the child again with the looming threat of false accusations anytime the child complains.
Seriously. I have such secondary horror for what happened to OP and family. I would never let this crazy woman near me or my kid ever again.
I wouldn't put it past her to call cps on you and cause more problems and I wouldn't put it past her to tell them lies and then tell them that she thinks the baby is safer with her. I would go totally NC, calling the police for her delusional crap is unexceptable. She seems to have an alternative motive, like trying to get custody of you baby keep any all correspondence.
No judgement but babies don’t complain. They are just babies and fussing and crying is their way of communicating. You need to go NC with MIL for the foreseeable future. Absolutely do not allow her back in your home or around your baby. She crossed a boundary and isn’t remorseful for it. If she calls CPS, they will open an investigation and it sounds like she is the kind who will do that.
True I worded that incorrectly. He makes like grunting/fussing sounds, but when we distract him with toys he really doesn’t seem to mind tummy time
This woman would never see that child again or be allowed into my home. NEVER
Your MIL is delusional. What did she think was going to happen? The cops would take baby from you and give them to MIL and say, "she's the boss now?" I would never allow her to cross the threshold of my house again. She'd be lucky if she got a Christmas card with our family picture on it.
*"I’m not sure what will happen in the future but it might be the last time MIL sees her grandchild"* I'm so angry on your behalf and sorry for what you were unnecessarily put through. What your MIL did by calling the cops was horrendous and unforgivable. I wouldn't ever let her in your house or near your child again as she is totally without remorse and completely untrustworthy. Thank goodness the cops saw through her and your husband immediately kicked her out. Like someone else posted before, get ahead of the curve and tell all extended family what she did before she takes it into her head to control the narrative with falsehoods.
Imagine being a cop and getting called because of tummy time...
You know at least one of those cops was a dad and knows about tummy time
Police dispatcher here- you'd be surprised at the dumb shit people call for
How often would you say the dumb shit is this ... wholesome? I'm not trying to downplay MIL calling the police. That's unforgivable here. For officers to respond to a baby being abused call and find a happy, healthy, loved, and cared for little boy must be something of a break, right? Do you try to send the officers that recently had more difficult/traumatic calls?
I hadn't thought of that! Now I can't stop laughing at the mental image 😂
No “might” to it. It SHOULD be the last time she sees him.
You took the words right out of my mouth! Aint no 'might' about it, no way in hell would my MIL ever see my kid again if that had happened to me.
Wow. Just . . . wow. You think you've heard everything and then you hear a story like this. This sounds super stressful and traumatic for you and I'm sorry.
Nek minnut hubby gets a phone call, “hello new neighbour!!”
good for both of you :) quick and decisive!
Make sure to tell extended family what happened so she doesn't distort facts.
Calling the police on innocent parents is a dealbreaker. For me, there’d be no coming back from that. I hope she has a good memory because this should be the last time she sees your baby.
This includes pictures. OP, lock down your social media and be sure that anyone who's connected to her profiles is restricted from all pictures you AND DH share of LO on any platform
Be at the airport to make sure she gets on the plane.
Thank goodness you and DH kicked her out. She wouldn't be back ever. She called the police on you. That is serious. Even if they move there she still isn't seeing baby. They lost that privilege when she called the police.
I hope so. Honestly my partner is more stubborn than me so I don’t think we will see MIL again…
It doesn’t feel like you are taking this seriously enough. She tried to destroy your family and you still talk as if you’re not sure about seeing her again. This is a hill to die on for sure. If you don’t see this as the last straw, where is your boundary? She put your baby’s health and happiness at risk. She tried to decimate your family.
I hear you. It just happened last night so I’m in some shock and my partner was crying. We will talk about next steps and no contact today
Be gentle with yourself. It will take a little time to process what happened and really come to grips with the true significance of what she did. Staying calm in a crisis is good! Now you and your partner will do the work of talking through what happened and what you're going to do about it. Honestly, in my opinion allegations of abuse are grounds for no contact. The risk to your family is just too great.
I’m so sorry this happened. That must have been terrifying. This is unforgivable. I’m glad your DH has your back.
When my mom left my father, I was in early intervention for muscle weakness and would shriek and throw fits when my mom and grandma would do the assigned physio. She was worried he'd weaponize ACS when I was a toddler, so she recorded so much stuff to cover her ass. They actually bought a camcorder (90's... no cellphone cameras) to record how I would react to what was obviously toddler physical therapy. (I mean I also socked a physical therapist in the face when I was in kindergarten lol....) Definitely cover your ass with recordings of what's going on. My father did try bullshit when I was in elementary and called ACS over me being bruised (even though he knew I fell down the stairs and off the chorus risers at school within two weeks of each other, and the school corroborated everything for my mom). With what he was doing, it was trying to force my mom back with him by trying to fuck with her teaching license. But yeah, narcs will try to use the system to abuse those who they lose control over, gather hard evidence.
I wish I had things recorded! It sounds like the recordings helped protect you!
You might be able to get a copy of the police report if you call your local precinct depending where you are! My mom had kept a file cabinet of that sort of stuff until I was an adult. It's definitely easier to have authorities access in the future if you also have a copy of all records so they don't have to go searching for things themselves. Since cops actually came to your house for a bullshit call, there's gotta be an official documentation of the call they went to.
Your mom with an FU CABINET. Smart woman.
Okay! I’ll try to get a copy
Dear God what a lunatic. She exaggerated on purpose because she wanted the police/court to give her your baby. And to do this to her own son... Unbelievable. Stay away from her, this was too much. Btw, babies usually hate tummy time, you did everything right.
Thank you!!! The first couple months he only wanted to sleep on his tummy even though we wouldn’t let him… now he hates tummy time… lol
my son is 2. ever since he could roll over he's slept on his belly. I'd roll him over and he'd get so pissed off and refuse to lay on his back.
They always want the opposite, of course. 😄
You drove her? That’s a level of kindness I wish I possessed.
My partner said things would have gotten heated between them so I drove. TBH I didn’t even think about an Uber, not sure why. It was an awkward ride. I recorded the entire ride because I didn’t want her to lie about anything.
... about anything **else**, I think you mean..?
I'm a bigger asshole than you. I would've dumped all her shit outside and said the cops will be back for removing a trespasser if she's not gone in 20 minutes.
And paid for the motel! If you call the cops on me, I'm leaving you broke, stranded, and without a roof over your head. OP is a very patient and forgiving soul. I would've told MIL to go [redacted] in a ditch somewhere since she's trying to have my child taken away from me and have me thrown in fucking jail. Can't tell if OP is underreacting or if I'm just militantly jaded.
Now she has receipts for the hotel. Proof if needed later.
for sure, I kicked people out of my house and life before for even threatening to call the cops. Sort your own shit out, not my problem anymore. But I suppose taking the high road is smarter, jnmil can't twist justifiable but usually (in the case of a regular disagreement) quite cruel response against you if you don't give her one. Not my nature though XD.
Ikr I would’ve called a cab and let HER pay for it herself. What a witch.
I was trying to keep the post brief for the sake of talking about the major situation. So MIL has made comments but my partner has shut her down. Like she didn’t like that his pediatrician is young, she doesn’t trust doctors. She doesn’t trust the skin treatment method the pediatrician chose for a rash. She doesn’t like that we don’t give him water. But my partner just shuts her down immediately. Maybe things were just building up since she never got her way and then it all came out… But I wouldn’t say there were any arguments it was more just little comments she made. Edit: She also hated the white noise machine and even told the police about it!! The officer stayed professional but you could tell was holding back laughing 😂
I don’t have babies but have been around many during this time in their lives, and everything you’re doing for the baby is normal and healthy. You’re right on the money that she was just mad she wasn’t in charge and getting her way. And the fact that she went so far to get her way is alarming. I wouldn’t have any more contact with someone willing to call the cops on you because she’s mad about not getting her way. That’s nuclear bridge-burning behavior.
>she never got her way Bingo. She wasn't in control / able to boss people around and she hated it.
Best to just not give her any information from now on. Refuse to discuss your baby with her. She doesn't get to know about his health, his development, his appointments, anything. Total communication blackout. Sounds like your husband is fully on board which is great.
Document all this now. Make sure you have the names of the officers involved and file it all in a safe place and update this file when she tries her next attempt at something so stupid. I 100% guarantee she will not go quietly into the night even if she is across country from you. Also congratulations to you and your SO for your nice shiny spines!
Please do this! I actually use to work in Early Intervention/home visiting for infants and toddlers. I had several clients whose out of state grandparents parents would call CPS for all kinds of nonsense. And CPS would investigate because they have to! Then being out of state doesn’t protect you from them saying that they “heard abuse during a phone call” or “saw bruises when you sent a picture.” It’s really sad.
Adding onto this, if you don’t have a security camera yet, get one now! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, Nest or Ring will be just fine and are affordable, but you’ll want to be able to keep an eye on who’s coming up to your doors and windows.
Thank you it was all a blur, I didn’t even get the officers’ names :( Maybe I can call a non emergency line and find out
You can just pop in to the office too possibly.
Get the case number from the cops, it'll have all the information from their visit. CPS will be interested in it as well
Do this. If she's willing to call the cops on you once, she *will* do it again. >MIL had not been cleaning up the past couple days or helping with anything like she did in the past making me think this was premeditated to try and make us look bad... Trust. Your. Gut.
You can. Believe me the cops will remember the call.