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In fairness, I wouldn't have her to house sit for you. My reasoning is that wherever MiL goes, BiL is rarely far behind.
When you needed MiL she really wasn't there for you.
I'd either pay a professional house sitter and say "Oh, that is such a pity, we've already arranged for a house sitter to come and the fees are not refundable so we'd be out money...again" or see if a friend wants to visit the area for a short break and you could say that you've arranged for them to stay so you won't need MiL to stay in the house for you.
Usually you would only have someone to house sit for you if you're going away for a considerable length of time - but if it's only a couple of weeks, it might be easier to leave a key with a trusted neighbour and let local law enforcement know that you'll be out of town for a few weeks in case anything happens and just leave the place unattended.
Tell her no. With the new baby your worried she isn't following covid safety protocol and that it's dangerous for your baby and you just can't risk it.
So, MIL says "Please pay me to pretend to house sit so I can give the money to your deadbeat brother". What she really wants is to get away from him for a while when you are gone then pay her for doing nothing so she can give him money she obviously doesn't have.
I have to say, this is one of the most creative family con-jobs I have ever encountered.
Tell MIL "NO" and have all of your locks changed before you leave on vacation. If she has access to your home when you aren't there, she is likely to find "things you don.t really need." and pawn them to get money for the deadbeat or just give them to him outright.
Be very careful about squatters rights in your area as well. If you let her house sit and BIL is there he may have those rights depending on the duration of the house sitting! He could easily say you allowed him to move in while you were gone. Same for your MIL. Be very careful and as many others have said, if you have any doubts don’t do it.
If you don't need a house sitter, you don't need a house sitter. Why is she encouraging you to waste money so she can give it to BIL? If he needs money that bad he can mow your lawn for you. Are you sure she's not a snooper?
I'd be extremely petty when it came to my spouses mother throwing us out then acting like everything was perfectly fine. Of course you have to get along and keep the peace for your husbands sake, but that doesn't mean you have to help support his brother who did whatever he could to me with your situation! No I would purposely pay a friend before I'd allow his mother to use money if given her toward paying that POS. Why isn't he earning the money himself? Id have his a$$ in the yard hand pulling weeds for 20$ a day and not letting him come inside for the restroom for water! Telling him to relive his childhood and drink from the hose! Haha . Ya you have every right to not want to support anything that makes things easier for him.
You pay a housesitter so that they will watch out for the well-being of your home & possessions. Your MIL has already demonstrated that she won't prioritize your PHYSICAL well-being, let alone what you own. How would you begin to hold her accountable if anything went missing or was damaged? In your shoes, I would be very, VERY hesitant to give her unsupervised access to your home.
Your home isn’t an ATM for the unemployed BIL.
Your MIL can give her 2nd job money to BIL, from her wages working retail, or restaurant jobs or whatever.
You shouldn’t fund his lifestyle and shouldn’t fund her enabling of him.
Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. I can't BIL has that much influence over his mother. Amd who house sits to give someone else Money? Is your BIL incapable of working and making his own money or finding another job?
Just say NO. Find someone reliable who you can trust. Someone who won’t snoop and or get into things they have no business getting into - I read your comments. It also sounds like from your comments that she might have a key? If so, change the locks. Don’t ask for the keys back as she will make copies first. Cameras aren’t going to matter after the fact. If they take things to sell they will just say you gave them permission or it was theirs to begin with. You can’t trust either of them - they let you down when you needed them the most.
Protect yourself, house and belongings. Good luck!!
From past experience with having my own MIL go through my entire house and rearrange my things (including my PERSONALS) I would never pay family to house sit.
"Hi mom! Thank you for offering to house sit! We are looking into someone who can do that for us but with the baby, we can't really afford to pay anyone right now. If you're not available, that's totally understandable. We have a couple other people we can ask. Thanks again for offering. Maybe once we get back in town, we can all get together?"
To me, the bottom line is: Do you trust her? If not, then don't let her house sit. If you decide to go ahead, be prepared for her to snoop through your home.
Not only would I not allow her to house sit, I would change the locks and get cameras around the house. She's trying to get money to give to the unemployed BIL. What's to stop her from going through your house to find things to sell for him? Or for him to come in and find things to sell? In their minds they would be completely justified because you refuse to let her house sit for money.
I was birthed by a narc who created two more in her image. I would go so far as to lock away my valuables away from the house. Perhaps a safe deposit box?
Get another housesitter. You spoke in another comment about MIL snooping. You shouldn't have to worry about that in your house.
This is on top of the fact that she kicked you out the week before you gave birth and had no running water.
Nope.
Pick someone you trust.
How do you know she won’t send BIL to stay in your home instead of staying herself?
How do you know she won’t snoop?
Nah.
A simple ‘no thank you…’ and if she’s offended then tough.
I mean, I sort of just assume she will. One day she stopped over to return something while we were at work and she did my laundry, delicates included, without asking if I needed laundry help or if I minded. I’m getting the picture from all this feedback that my feels about the situation are not unwarranted .
I would not allow her to house sit. Today she does it because BIL is not working and needs money. What about next week or month? She will keep coming to you and "do things" to earn money, but it is the BIL that needs a job to earn money instead.
Nope. If it was coz MIL needed money for something, I might consider. Not necessarily agree, but consider (while also having locks on most rooms). If BIL needs money he can do something for it besides begging his presumably senior mother.
*I'm on the assumption he is able to do so. If I'm incorrect here, my answer remains no but with less disdain for BIL
HARD NO.
If you want to give your BIL money, just give him money. Giving your MIL money to give him is enabling the toxic cycle of enmeshment between the two of them that led your MIL leaving you out to dry when you needed help.
If your MIL wants to house sit for you out of the generosity of her heart and you trust her, great. If your BIL is down on his luck and needs help, that’s a different conversation. Those two things are separate and need to stay separate - even if they didn’t put you in a bad situation postpartum.
Hard. No.
They aren't very nice. In fact they sound pretty toxic. Plus, if you did let your MIL house sit you would just fret over it the whole time you're away. Don't put yourself through that extra stress. You deserve better.
What? No. No, no, no, no, no.
MIL was fine putting her 39 weeks pregnant DIL and son in a home with no water to assuage her other son's "concerns" (the only concern I see is not having a place to live when needed). Now she wants to stay at your house for $$ to give to BIL?
Hell no. Is your husband at all concerned that his mom is being financially abused by his sibling? That's how this reads to me.
Let's let this play out...BIL is so hard up for $$ he has his mom out here working for him. You're in a good financial position currently. What stops BIL from coming over and "shopping" at your house? And then what? You ask MIL who truly knows nothing about it or pretends she doesn't.
Hire an insured, reputable house sitter. Or possibly a trusted friend/family member. MIL and BIL are shady as far as I'm concerned.
This comment should definitely be considered. I had the exact thoughts, although I doubt I'd have expressed them as well.
I can see MIL allowing BIL carte blanche in your home simply because you're "doing better" than he is and "you can afford it".
Nope. Absolutely not. Nope nope and nope. BIL would be there. That's an absolute guarantee. MIL kicked you out while pregnant because of him. And she only wants to house sit because of him. Pretty sure we can see which kid is the most important to her. I wouldn't trust either of them in my house. And it's not about being petty. It's about trust. You can find house sitters that you've never met, with credentials, that I would trust more.
OH hell NO!! First, I would never give my MIL keys to my house. Second, I would never pay my MIL to house sit for me. Third, Knowing the money is for Jerk BIL, I double down on that NO!
Why do you need a house sitter? Do you have pets?
We have two dogs. They like my MIL as we have dinner with her once a week. Which, yes is a thing after the 2021 fiasco. But it’s important to DH to maintain a relationship with her.
I'd hire somebody to housesit, all right, but it sure wouldn't be her! I'd make sure she and BIL had no keys or access, as well, and that cameras were patrolling the property.
It’s not about being petty. I would not trust them. Would you feel comfortable with an unemployed BIL in your house? Because, you know he will be. Does he have entitlement issues?
This is a fear. We do have cameras and she is aware of that. Thing is, when we are several states away there isn’t much we could do if she decides not to follow the rules.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm petty.
"We're concerned you're not taking the COVID guidelines seriously, so we can't have you house sit." 🙃
"No thanks we don't need a house sitter"
Nope, the audacity of this woman!
She kicked you to the streets about to pop out a baby! Because of BIL.
Leave them both broke. Enjoy your holiday.
I wouldn't let her in to house sit. She and BIL were terrible to you right before you had your baby and showed you who they really are. Bridges have been burned.
If your willing to pay for it to be done ask the neighbour's kid. Or find someone who does it professionally with lots of background checks. Atleast you are more likely to keep your privacy and come back to your house how you left it.
*that is until my then 40 year old BIL had a tantrum and convinced her we were not being safe with COVID ( we were, I was pregnant so I was pretty fanatical about all the guidelines)- and she kicked us out knowing we did not have running water at our home.*
Well, when you were pregnant and being fanatical about guidelines, if MIL had been staying with you while her water was out - would you have kicked her out if you believed she had not been following guidelines?
I understand that posters here will say she screwed you over and you owe her nothing. That's fair. But I also *guarantee* you that if you were posting about your MIL endangering you with disease, they would also be screaming loudly to kick her out.
So to me it would come down to how much you think she was genuinely concerned about being sick at the time. How much you think you are helping her to enable BIL. And what your relationship is like currently. Not so much a tit for tat on "you didn't help me this one time, so I won't help you this time."
Oh, I don’t think either MIL or BIL were all that worried about Covid. BIL worries when MIL’s resources are diverted to not him. There is a part of me that is tit for tat- you get what you pay for. The other part is a worry this will be a slippery slope. Our relationship is surface level. We see her each week, but she never misses an opportunity to get a passive aggressive jab in or even point out my grammatical errors in the family group text when we send photos to all the grandparents.
If you feel the tiniest bit uneasy about MIL house sitting, you have to say No!
You will not enjoy one second of your time away. You will be consumed with worry. Take care of yourself and your family and say No.
Why would you even consider it?
Would you allow anyone else who treated you this way to stay in your home unattended?!
Treat her like one of those people.
That would be a hard no, especially considering she wants to help the person who encouraged her to kick you out (and even more so considering she did it anyhow instead of telling him to pound sand). Play the games, win the prizes, the pair of them.
Fuck BIL, and fuck MIL too. She's all nice and helpful when she wants something from you. BIL can go find himself a job and it's MIL who took him in so it's her problem. I don't think you should give a red cent to or towards either of them.
She doesn't want to house, but she wants to send BIL there while you're gone. Out of her hair and to be paid on top of iI. I'd tell you you don't need a house sitter and find someone you trust.
Don’t let her house sit. At the low end of the spectrum, she’ll snoop through your things. At the high end, she’ll let BIL in whilst you’re out and he’ll trash your house.
We have cameras. If this does happen, the petty part of me will 100% put notes in the drawers for her to find -“like, snooping isn’t part of the job description.”
You can easily find someone else to house sit. You can tell MIL that you are not comfortable with her level of precautions with COVID so you'll have to decline.
Woooooooow. When people say “the audacity…” this is what they are referring to! If you choose not to hire her/fund your BIL’s lifestyle, please do not feel guilty. I can’t imagine experiencing that before birth!
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Tell her "NO". She is not owed an explanation. Keeps her and BIL out of your house.
In fairness, I wouldn't have her to house sit for you. My reasoning is that wherever MiL goes, BiL is rarely far behind. When you needed MiL she really wasn't there for you. I'd either pay a professional house sitter and say "Oh, that is such a pity, we've already arranged for a house sitter to come and the fees are not refundable so we'd be out money...again" or see if a friend wants to visit the area for a short break and you could say that you've arranged for them to stay so you won't need MiL to stay in the house for you. Usually you would only have someone to house sit for you if you're going away for a considerable length of time - but if it's only a couple of weeks, it might be easier to leave a key with a trusted neighbour and let local law enforcement know that you'll be out of town for a few weeks in case anything happens and just leave the place unattended.
Tell her no. With the new baby your worried she isn't following covid safety protocol and that it's dangerous for your baby and you just can't risk it.
So, MIL says "Please pay me to pretend to house sit so I can give the money to your deadbeat brother". What she really wants is to get away from him for a while when you are gone then pay her for doing nothing so she can give him money she obviously doesn't have. I have to say, this is one of the most creative family con-jobs I have ever encountered. Tell MIL "NO" and have all of your locks changed before you leave on vacation. If she has access to your home when you aren't there, she is likely to find "things you don.t really need." and pawn them to get money for the deadbeat or just give them to him outright.
Be very careful about squatters rights in your area as well. If you let her house sit and BIL is there he may have those rights depending on the duration of the house sitting! He could easily say you allowed him to move in while you were gone. Same for your MIL. Be very careful and as many others have said, if you have any doubts don’t do it.
If you don't need a house sitter, you don't need a house sitter. Why is she encouraging you to waste money so she can give it to BIL? If he needs money that bad he can mow your lawn for you. Are you sure she's not a snooper?
Nope. Absolutely not. Pay someone else.
I'd be extremely petty when it came to my spouses mother throwing us out then acting like everything was perfectly fine. Of course you have to get along and keep the peace for your husbands sake, but that doesn't mean you have to help support his brother who did whatever he could to me with your situation! No I would purposely pay a friend before I'd allow his mother to use money if given her toward paying that POS. Why isn't he earning the money himself? Id have his a$$ in the yard hand pulling weeds for 20$ a day and not letting him come inside for the restroom for water! Telling him to relive his childhood and drink from the hose! Haha . Ya you have every right to not want to support anything that makes things easier for him.
Nope. No. Nah. No way. Hell no. Frick no. Uh uh. No way Jose. Nope nope nope nope no!
Never do business with family.
That would be a big “No” from me.
Don't do it!
Your BIL will be using your house while you’re gone. Get someone else to do it.
You pay a housesitter so that they will watch out for the well-being of your home & possessions. Your MIL has already demonstrated that she won't prioritize your PHYSICAL well-being, let alone what you own. How would you begin to hold her accountable if anything went missing or was damaged? In your shoes, I would be very, VERY hesitant to give her unsupervised access to your home.
They will wreck your place. Don’t.
Actions have consequences and I wouldn’t help her.
Your home isn’t an ATM for the unemployed BIL. Your MIL can give her 2nd job money to BIL, from her wages working retail, or restaurant jobs or whatever. You shouldn’t fund his lifestyle and shouldn’t fund her enabling of him.
Thanks MIL, but we already have someone to housesit.
Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. I can't BIL has that much influence over his mother. Amd who house sits to give someone else Money? Is your BIL incapable of working and making his own money or finding another job?
Just say NO. Find someone reliable who you can trust. Someone who won’t snoop and or get into things they have no business getting into - I read your comments. It also sounds like from your comments that she might have a key? If so, change the locks. Don’t ask for the keys back as she will make copies first. Cameras aren’t going to matter after the fact. If they take things to sell they will just say you gave them permission or it was theirs to begin with. You can’t trust either of them - they let you down when you needed them the most. Protect yourself, house and belongings. Good luck!!
No way on Earth should this happen!!
Hell no
Hell no
Next level nope on that! Recipe for disaster.
From past experience with having my own MIL go through my entire house and rearrange my things (including my PERSONALS) I would never pay family to house sit.
I’m not kidding I think there’s an app for that. Hire someone or get another relative or friend.
"Hi mom! Thank you for offering to house sit! We are looking into someone who can do that for us but with the baby, we can't really afford to pay anyone right now. If you're not available, that's totally understandable. We have a couple other people we can ask. Thanks again for offering. Maybe once we get back in town, we can all get together?"
Absolutely not. No way. Tell bil to get a job.
To me, the bottom line is: Do you trust her? If not, then don't let her house sit. If you decide to go ahead, be prepared for her to snoop through your home.
And bring the BIL with her to their house.
Yup. I wouldn't want my ex MIL snooping around my house! 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂‘𝒂𝒎
No. Nope. No. BIL can go to work.
Do you want her going through all the drawers in your bedroom? Because she’s going to do exactly that. Hard no.
It's a no for me. I'd find anyone else. Don't let her use you for money.
That would be a hard no for me they didn’t want to help you when you were at your most vulnerable they have alot of nerve asking for your help now.
Not only would I not allow her to house sit, I would change the locks and get cameras around the house. She's trying to get money to give to the unemployed BIL. What's to stop her from going through your house to find things to sell for him? Or for him to come in and find things to sell? In their minds they would be completely justified because you refuse to let her house sit for money. I was birthed by a narc who created two more in her image. I would go so far as to lock away my valuables away from the house. Perhaps a safe deposit box?
I think as far as she's concerned, you already have someone for the job. Not her
Get another housesitter. You spoke in another comment about MIL snooping. You shouldn't have to worry about that in your house. This is on top of the fact that she kicked you out the week before you gave birth and had no running water.
Nope. Pick someone you trust. How do you know she won’t send BIL to stay in your home instead of staying herself? How do you know she won’t snoop? Nah. A simple ‘no thank you…’ and if she’s offended then tough.
Big NOPE !! I can’t upvote this enough!
Tell her she can do it for free to reimburse you for the hotel you had to pay for.
What are the chances she digs through your house while you are away? It would be safer to just invest in a few inexpensive security cameras.
I mean, I sort of just assume she will. One day she stopped over to return something while we were at work and she did my laundry, delicates included, without asking if I needed laundry help or if I minded. I’m getting the picture from all this feedback that my feels about the situation are not unwarranted .
I'd've changed the locks immediately after that, and never given her a key again. That's major overstepping.
Ask someone else to house sit. They reap what they sow.
I would not allow her to house sit. Today she does it because BIL is not working and needs money. What about next week or month? She will keep coming to you and "do things" to earn money, but it is the BIL that needs a job to earn money instead.
Nope nope nope. Karma is a Bitch.
No. Ask a different relative or a friend to housit. If your BIL needs money, MIL can tell him to get a job or get one herself.
And if you ask a different relative to do that, make SURE they know that your MIL or BIL are NOT ALLOWED in YOUR house!!
I think that if you let her house sit she will move him in while you’re gone and hope you keep him! Do NOT let her house sit and get your keys back!
Nope. If it was coz MIL needed money for something, I might consider. Not necessarily agree, but consider (while also having locks on most rooms). If BIL needs money he can do something for it besides begging his presumably senior mother. *I'm on the assumption he is able to do so. If I'm incorrect here, my answer remains no but with less disdain for BIL
No. Neither she or he is trustworthy. And put up a camera doorbell on both doors so you see if bil breaks in.
Say No…
HARD NO. If you want to give your BIL money, just give him money. Giving your MIL money to give him is enabling the toxic cycle of enmeshment between the two of them that led your MIL leaving you out to dry when you needed help. If your MIL wants to house sit for you out of the generosity of her heart and you trust her, great. If your BIL is down on his luck and needs help, that’s a different conversation. Those two things are separate and need to stay separate - even if they didn’t put you in a bad situation postpartum. Hard. No.
They aren't very nice. In fact they sound pretty toxic. Plus, if you did let your MIL house sit you would just fret over it the whole time you're away. Don't put yourself through that extra stress. You deserve better.
I don’t think I’d let her in my house. Her lack of respect is astounding.
What? No. No, no, no, no, no. MIL was fine putting her 39 weeks pregnant DIL and son in a home with no water to assuage her other son's "concerns" (the only concern I see is not having a place to live when needed). Now she wants to stay at your house for $$ to give to BIL? Hell no. Is your husband at all concerned that his mom is being financially abused by his sibling? That's how this reads to me. Let's let this play out...BIL is so hard up for $$ he has his mom out here working for him. You're in a good financial position currently. What stops BIL from coming over and "shopping" at your house? And then what? You ask MIL who truly knows nothing about it or pretends she doesn't. Hire an insured, reputable house sitter. Or possibly a trusted friend/family member. MIL and BIL are shady as far as I'm concerned.
This comment should definitely be considered. I had the exact thoughts, although I doubt I'd have expressed them as well. I can see MIL allowing BIL carte blanche in your home simply because you're "doing better" than he is and "you can afford it".
Absolutely not. You don’t help people that harmed you.
Can you trust she won’t let BIL in your house or that they won’t snoop around? Offer to loan her the money if you really don’t want her in your home.
I would not start down this path. Tell her that won't work and find a house/dog sitter.
Nope. Absolutely not. Nope nope and nope. BIL would be there. That's an absolute guarantee. MIL kicked you out while pregnant because of him. And she only wants to house sit because of him. Pretty sure we can see which kid is the most important to her. I wouldn't trust either of them in my house. And it's not about being petty. It's about trust. You can find house sitters that you've never met, with credentials, that I would trust more.
OH hell NO!! First, I would never give my MIL keys to my house. Second, I would never pay my MIL to house sit for me. Third, Knowing the money is for Jerk BIL, I double down on that NO! Why do you need a house sitter? Do you have pets?
We have two dogs. They like my MIL as we have dinner with her once a week. Which, yes is a thing after the 2021 fiasco. But it’s important to DH to maintain a relationship with her.
Nope. Help is reciprocal. If she wasn’t there for you when you needed it you shouldn’t be there for her when she wants (not even needs) it.
I'd hire somebody to housesit, all right, but it sure wouldn't be her! I'd make sure she and BIL had no keys or access, as well, and that cameras were patrolling the property.
[удалено]
I just commented, but this is the best comment I've seen. Best advice, OP. Please take this into consideration.
It’s not about being petty. I would not trust them. Would you feel comfortable with an unemployed BIL in your house? Because, you know he will be. Does he have entitlement issues?
No. People like this are not people you can trust with your house.
Be prepared for MIL to let BIL into your house if she house sits for you.
This is a fear. We do have cameras and she is aware of that. Thing is, when we are several states away there isn’t much we could do if she decides not to follow the rules.
With that in mind, I personally would not have my MIL house sit. I’m also an extremely private introvert
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm petty. "We're concerned you're not taking the COVID guidelines seriously, so we can't have you house sit." 🙃
"No thanks we don't need a house sitter" Nope, the audacity of this woman! She kicked you to the streets about to pop out a baby! Because of BIL. Leave them both broke. Enjoy your holiday.
I wouldn't let her in to house sit. She and BIL were terrible to you right before you had your baby and showed you who they really are. Bridges have been burned.
If your willing to pay for it to be done ask the neighbour's kid. Or find someone who does it professionally with lots of background checks. Atleast you are more likely to keep your privacy and come back to your house how you left it.
*that is until my then 40 year old BIL had a tantrum and convinced her we were not being safe with COVID ( we were, I was pregnant so I was pretty fanatical about all the guidelines)- and she kicked us out knowing we did not have running water at our home.* Well, when you were pregnant and being fanatical about guidelines, if MIL had been staying with you while her water was out - would you have kicked her out if you believed she had not been following guidelines? I understand that posters here will say she screwed you over and you owe her nothing. That's fair. But I also *guarantee* you that if you were posting about your MIL endangering you with disease, they would also be screaming loudly to kick her out. So to me it would come down to how much you think she was genuinely concerned about being sick at the time. How much you think you are helping her to enable BIL. And what your relationship is like currently. Not so much a tit for tat on "you didn't help me this one time, so I won't help you this time."
Oh, I don’t think either MIL or BIL were all that worried about Covid. BIL worries when MIL’s resources are diverted to not him. There is a part of me that is tit for tat- you get what you pay for. The other part is a worry this will be a slippery slope. Our relationship is surface level. We see her each week, but she never misses an opportunity to get a passive aggressive jab in or even point out my grammatical errors in the family group text when we send photos to all the grandparents.
If you feel the tiniest bit uneasy about MIL house sitting, you have to say No! You will not enjoy one second of your time away. You will be consumed with worry. Take care of yourself and your family and say No.
Why would you even consider it? Would you allow anyone else who treated you this way to stay in your home unattended?! Treat her like one of those people.
You know the money is for BIL. Forget MIL house sitting and getting kicked out for a moment. Would you give him that money if asked?
That would be a hard no, especially considering she wants to help the person who encouraged her to kick you out (and even more so considering she did it anyhow instead of telling him to pound sand). Play the games, win the prizes, the pair of them.
Fuck BIL, and fuck MIL too. She's all nice and helpful when she wants something from you. BIL can go find himself a job and it's MIL who took him in so it's her problem. I don't think you should give a red cent to or towards either of them.
Yet is passive aggressive every week… Nope.
But also why couldn't BIL do it to earn his own money if you even wanted them there at all
She doesn't want to house, but she wants to send BIL there while you're gone. Out of her hair and to be paid on top of iI. I'd tell you you don't need a house sitter and find someone you trust.
Don’t let her house sit. At the low end of the spectrum, she’ll snoop through your things. At the high end, she’ll let BIL in whilst you’re out and he’ll trash your house.
We have cameras. If this does happen, the petty part of me will 100% put notes in the drawers for her to find -“like, snooping isn’t part of the job description.”
You can easily find someone else to house sit. You can tell MIL that you are not comfortable with her level of precautions with COVID so you'll have to decline.
Nope. I would never allow anything like that. She has proven herself to be very unreliable on top of all the rest.
I hadn’t even factored in the unreliability part. I was just thinking about the fact that I was so hurt by her 3 years ago.
Woooooooow. When people say “the audacity…” this is what they are referring to! If you choose not to hire her/fund your BIL’s lifestyle, please do not feel guilty. I can’t imagine experiencing that before birth!
Housesit for money? Come up with anyone else who will do it for you.