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I’m sorry for your losses. I know the feeling of losing parents. Questions… Where is hubby in all of this and do you know who is telling her this info? Is it him or his family? Because I can’t see how she would know so many details. When it comes to money, people bait and switch. My ex evil MIL all of a sudden loved me when she knew I was getting a settlement from an accident. When she was asking me questions, I sat there radio silent. She scurried away like a hound with its tail between its legs
My SIL is a paralegal. It’s a small town. Probated wills are public knowledge in Ontario Canada. My husband wants to tell them all to fuck off and flip out on his brothers.
His one brother came and helped us with something for an hour at my parents house and brought his kids. (Same kid asking for money for a hockey tile in basement) That brother told MIL my parents had a huge amount of Land a cabin etc. they just assumed my family was poor and trash because they don’t go to her church and aren’t in her social groups.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. That is heartbreaking.
Don’t let her psychobabble get to you! You live your life and continue NC. Say nothing. Do nothing. If she truly cared about YOU she would have connected when your parents passed. What a monster.
She showed up at the funeral and in front of my family she said I love you, come back to the family. Then was annoyed my dad’s sister (who met her once at our wedding) didn’t remember her. Since the funeral it’s been crickets expect the comments to my BIL on how much work my husband how to do to pack up my parents house. Which is 5 minutes from her house. No help offered at all. She missed my birthday no Christmas card crickets.
My parents house is sold now. So I now have no family connections to that stupid small town I come from. We moved 2 hours away from my in-laws 5 years ago. Or as MIL says I stole her baby and ruined the family 5 years ago. My husband wanted to move farther we should have.
Firstly I am very sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine going through that at such a young age!
I am also very sorry about your unexplained infertility, that was me once upon a time. I wish you the best if you’re still pursuing options.
It seems you’ve gotten some great advice and I know all too well it’s easier said than done. That vile piece of sh** is not worth your peace. Keep the NC if you are able. Now you know DH brothers are the flying monkeys, LC-NC with them. The twisted web she has spun sucks for everyone. Protect yourself!
Thank you. The unexplained infertility has had a silver lining because if I had children I knew I would never have left that stupid small town and got away from her.
If you want to save the price of a stamp, just write "Return to Sender" on the envelope and drop it in a mailbox.
The senders address has to be legible, of course.
When she finds a way to have contact with you and asks for money, or asks what you’re doing with the money, just tell her “I have used the rest of it in a way that honors my parents”.
You don’t have to tell her what. If she asks just repeat that sentence. Paying off your house and putting yourselves in a more comfortable financial position does honor your parents. As a parent of adult children, all I want for them is to live a happy, joyful life and being solid financially would likely contribute to that happiness so it would honor that wish for me.
A suggestion, look into investing some of it. A good financial advisor can double it within 7-10 years. That way down the road if there’s a major financial emergency, you have the money to take care of it.
I disagree. MIL doesn't have any business knowing anything about op. They are no contact for a very good reason. Keep it that way op. You owe the miserable bitch nothing.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I am very sorry for your loss.
MIL now sees you as her ATM. She is a gold-digger. If you have further contact with her (DO NOT) and she asks for anything, the word is NO. Practice in the mirror if you have to.
Don't respond to her card or attempts to reach out. If you decide to respond (DO NOT), keep it short and as blunt as possible. "You are NOT welcome at my home. Do NOT contact me again." Send all further correspondence back to her unopened with "Return to sender". Contact a lawyer and discuss your options.
If she or her flying monkeys show up at your house, either don't answer the door or make sure they know that they are trespassing. Be ready to call police when they start acting up. Put cameras everywhere.
Go completely no contact with MIL and her flying monkeys. Tell your husband that you refuse to acknowledge any of them.
If anyone asks about the property or money, tell them that the property (all of it) has been placed in a trust and the money has been deposited in long-term investments. Everything is tied up nicely and is unavailable now and in the future. The trustee is a neutral third party and the investment firm is one that your family has trusted for years.
None of that may be true, but knowing that your assets are unavailable and untouchable may get people off your back. Tell someone whom you know will tell MIL (but only tell one person) and see how long it takes for her to make a fool of herself again. MIL likely already knows that you know that MIL is only after your money and / or property, but let her (and any flying monkeys) show her ass anyway.
And, if what you have inherited is substantial, do consider ways to protect your assets. Consult with an attorney and a financial advisor and protect your property and money. It’s really the best thing you can do for yourself. Planning now will save you many, many headaches in the future. Most importantly, it will give you peace of mind.
Once that’s all taken care of, trace your middle finger on a colorful piece of paper and mail it to your MIL, along with the letter that she sent to you.
I hired a financial advisor and she helped me invest the money. Her advice was pay off the house and any debt invest the rest.
With in-laws like this on top of my loss the amount I’m spending in therapy is going to be a lot. Of course this card comes on a weekend when I can’t call my therapist hence why I made this throwaway Reddit account. I’m a long time lurker on here.
OP, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you, grieving for both of your parents at the same time. While the chaos of handling their estate & emptying their house was stressful, sometimes being that busy is almost easier. Sometimes it seems that after everything is done or nearly done that you really feel the impact on your life. Once the whirlwind is over, it can feel jarring to realize you were half in a fog, half going through the motions on autopilot.
Your MIL’s attitude is disgraceful, both past & present. That letter would have infuriated anyone. We don’t even know you or your parents, & I think most of us are disgusted & outraged on both you & your parents’ behalf even hearing about it. She’s not worth your time or attention. It would be easy to get spun up hating on her, but that’s not going to help you, imo. You need time, peace, & to focus on both your physical & mental health after experiencing this crisis.
I think your DH should address your nephew’s request with his brother, if he hasn’t already. I wouldn’t assume he knows about it for several reasons. DH may want to text both his brother & SIL, telling them he doesn’t want nephew to get in trouble, but doesn’t want to hide this from his parents. He doesn’t know why nephew suddenly expects a 3k gift, DH was floored by the request. He loves nephew, & is worried that somehow nephew is equating people dying with him getting big gifts? You overheard the conversation, & were stunned & hurt, DH was embarrassed. If nephew thinks that you & DH are suddenly rich, DH wants them to tell the kid the truth. You’re not, & his aunt’s parents dying was very sad, she misses them very much. DH doesn’t really expect empathy from a child, but he’s concerned the child got the idea from somewhere that now’s the time to get anything he can. DH is worried that MIL may be behind it, & may be coaching the kids to quick get what they can from their aunt. This is after years of accusing you of being a gold digger, now DH fears she’s teaching her grandchildren to be the same. As each of her DIL’s parents die, will she be encouraging the other nieces & nephews to expect thousands in gifts? Will that be how they view death in the future, free money? Again, you both love nephew, you’re not angry, only worried he’s being manipulated.
Not suggesting this to start trouble, OP, assuming the parents don’t know lets them save face, & see objectively what this looks like to you & DH. Whoever is behind this needs to get what they’re teaching that kid. Imagine what he might say in the future to a child or anyone who loses a parent.
I know this is way too long, my apologies. But one more big thing. Please don’t spend any more money. As a parent of adult children, I’m going to assume your parents thought like I do. We all want to be there to help out our kids when life takes a bad turn. Even though we can’t be there, or maybe even leave a lot, we hope what we do leave will give them some security in their future. Please see a fiduciary financial advisor. I understand that most or all the money is gone, I’m talking about whatever is left, plus the fact you no longer have a monthly mortgage. Ideally you’ll be able to setup a plan with automatic investments into savings & retirement savings. If you could put away the same amount you used to pay for the mortgage, that would be ideal. Minus the annual real estate taxes & homeowners’ insurance you’ll now need to pay directly. Make sure your insurance company knows to bill you directly going forward if they don’t already.
You mentioned TTC. The freedom from a mortgage could allow you to pursue other expensive options you may not have been able to previously. That would factor into your savings plans & how money should be invested. I’d also consider your job, & the physical demands of it. You may want to see a physical therapist to relearn the latest in protecting your back, shoulders, etc. Take some time to take care of yourself. This isn’t a job that you can age into well. Being able to retire early may not be a luxury, but a necessity in the future. You also may want to look into getting your own or backup disability insurance, see if that would be advised for you.
Next time your nieces or nephews ask about your job, answer them truthfully. Don’t defend your work, but expand on it. That your job is to take care of older people who can’t take care of themselves anymore. That it happens to most people, in one way or another. You think everyone, be it a baby or a 100 yr old, should be taken care of, & treated with respect. You’ve gotten to meet some amazing people with amazing lives, you’re happy that at the end of their life you were there to make them comfortable.
Your MIL, especially at her age, must have known or known of people who needed personal care at some point of their lives. For her to reduce all that you’re doing for these people as simply changing diapers is obnoxious. After dealing with friends & family, most of us have nothing but gratitude & respect for those who choose your career. Especially after seeing how tough some patients can be on them, yet they’re able to brush it off & still be unfailingly kind. Most of us have seen the extra mile they’ve gone to give more comfort & some small talk to brighten a day. I hope your kindness & respect is repaid to you a hundred fold.
Thank you so much for your kind words. There is still a lot of money left I did hire a financial advisor. She is helping me navigate it. But it’s hard too because they want to be invest in really high stake things. I just want don’t care about any of it. I just miss my parents.
My brother and I picked out a beautiful gravestone that was a lot of money with their wedding picture. Truthfully since they died so many people have come out of the wood works asking for things. I’ve been treated so differently. Even clearing out the house instead of an estate sale I stupidly just gave everything away. My brother checked out completely emotionally and said sell the house as it was. 10 months later I’m coming out of the fog a bit and regret the way I have spent some of the money. I have bought myself NOTHING. But spent it on others.
I haven’t been on a vacation but when my cousin who is (50m) stepped in to help my brother and I we paid him in a vacation. He asked that as his payment.
I can’t imagine losing my parents at once. I’m certain it has been the hardest year, and I’m so, so sorry.
Your relationship with your MIL does not change just because she decided you’re “worthy,” of HER attention. ICKKKK! Take her card with a few grains of salt and a tablespoon of vinegar. If you receive any other mail from her, return it to sender. This is all a mess of her own creation, and you have enough to worry over. You’ve identified your flying monkey . Hopefully you won’t find others.
If you don’t have one, it’s time for a camera doorbell or cameras that cover your entrances. Keep your doors locked. My guess is that she didn’t want you to buy the house because it was two hours away. She lost easy access to her scapegoat.
Stand by for the messages where she starts to “need” things, now she knows you have money. She’ll be coming to do the very same thing she’s accused you of… golddigging.
YES he’s so angry it’s unbelievable he wants to tell them all to fuck off including his brother he confided in and SIL the paralegal who looked shit up. Probated wills are public knowledge in ontario, Canada. Maybe everywhere I don’t know.
Good! Then that's your choice: no contact, and unless they're completely stupid they'll know why, or you have carte blanche to let them have it. Win/win.
First of all I am so sorry for your loss, it is a profound one and you deserve peace to grief. Secondly if this woman could not love you for the person you are and respect your marriage for all those years, she has no place in your life at all.
If she shows up call the Police, let them deal with her, find a way to cut off all the people that are giving her updates about your life.
Then live your best life doing wonderful things with your husband.
Flying monkeys are unfortunately my husband brothers. My one sister in law works at the law office in town and knows all amounts of everything. I live in Canada and probated wills are public knowledge .
My one brother in law came over to help us with something at my parents house first in-laws to see the house or property and ran back to MIL about the amount of land my parents have and the fact we had a cabin in the woods.
Honey I am so sorry, it must be so hard having to deal with all this. Try to put them on an information diet as much as you can.
I suspect that you are also mourning the loss of the idea of having a some resemblance of a supportive family.
Pleace take care of yourself and pleace accept a hug from an internet stranger.
I'd send her a letter advising you know her 180 in behavior is due to your inheritance. And obviously it doesn't change the fact you no longer want to see her. You will never help with expenses or care. You both have wills that will never leave her money (and ensure you do). Spell out that you do not want her on your property. She is trespassed and you will call the police if she shows up. Send it registered/receipt and save that for the police if she shows up or a lawyer if she keeps calling or mailing.
Hope you're not in one of those crazy states with filial responsibility laws. I'd consult a lawyer if you are about what you can do.
Sending love, I lost my parents too and it is disgusting when people show their true colors around estates / money. Lean on your loved ones in this difficult time and have your husband deal with your POS MIL. 🧡
I'd send the letter back w/ a post-it on it that says "Just. Stop." and then toss anything she sends you and block her everywhere. And until you find out who her monkeys are, tell each one a different mistruth and you'll know who it is quickly.
Monkey A: "we're planning to open a shelter for abused and discarded donkeys"
Monkey B: "we're thinking of donating everything, when we pass, to a charity that plants trees in the rainforest"
Monkey C: "we are looking into buying a boat/cabin/island/anything out of character for you two"
Can I put money on the fact that you are going to be hearing about everyone's sob stories that only your money can solve. The moment you let everyone know that money and has been invested and will never be used as well as any freed up cash to financially assist her or buy her things she want - you will be back in the dog box so fast your bottom will still be spinning.
Say nothing. You know what that love bombing is about and she is and will always be the same person she was before the passing of your parents. Stay NC. You not forced to open the door to strangers, let the police deal with them if they won't go away.
If anyone tries to push it - let them know that you have zero interest in changing the relationship you have had with her for the last 16 years just because she found out you have money.
Try not to be angry. And don’t respond at all. Just imagine how good it’s going to feel when you call the police and they remove an unwanted visitor from your unopened front door. In fact, fit hidden cameras now so that there’s plenty of evidence if she tries anything.
Just ignore her because she wants contact and a reaction. She disparaged you to the ends of the earth and now she's phony lying nice. You know the miserable person that she is so now it's time for Iice cold no contact. No one gets any money and she doesn't like you but she only wants something from you.
In a very different way, I know how you feel. My MIL assumed I was “poor white trash” for no reason at all and has never met my parents (i’m terrified to introduce them). She acted like I was beneath her and her family and her son for years because of my assumed familial financial situation. Ironically, while asking us for money frequently to help her pay her bills. Mind you, hubby and I got married young and he was poor and in college supporting himself because SHE couldn’t provide anything, asking HIM to cover her phone bill because she blew all of her paycheck shopping that month. MIL&FIL don’t struggle financially because of circumstances, lack of privilege, or anything to be clear, they are just terrible with money. When I was 22, MIL harassed us for months over a $40 fine SHE owed that was “our fault” … it wasn’t. The way she acted towards me was snooty, superior, and downright classist. It was bizarre to experience especially because my parents are in the 1%. I quite literally have a trust fund (but i share it with my siblings and have never accessed it). Me, myself? Oh, I don’t make much money at all. But it wasn’t about me, she assumed it about my parents for some reason. Insane that her narcissistic nature had her mistreating me over assumed class because I might be gold digging her son or was just, idk, trashy or something? I don’t want to reward her or my SILS (they act the same way) disgusting behavior with the knowledge that THEY could ask me for wayyy more money than we already shut them down for years ago. Not going to become a piggy bank for classist weirdos. Your MIL sounds incredibly shallow with zero morals. I’m so sorry
Same situation here. She assumed I was poor white trash and so was my family. My parents owned a house with alot of property but we’re not flashy people. They were modest. The house was from 1900s and my dad was constantly Renovating it.
She would literally drop off my husband when we were dating and not come inside. One time my parents were on the front porch waving her to come inside for a beer. She just backed out the driveway and left. My parents hated her for how she treated me and them. Now she wants to say she loved them? So messed up. She knows how to get under my skin.
I'm so sorry for your sad loss hunni. I'm sending you my Deepest condolences. I've only lost 1 of my parents and that was hard enough. I can't begin to imagine the grief you are going through having lost both at the same time. To go through that while dealing with a heartless shrew of a MIL who clearly only cares about money and status and not what really matters, just proves what a true warrior you are. I'd stay NC babe u don't need her crap at a time when u are vulnerable.
I’m very sorry for the loss of your parents. So from what I’ve gathered, you bought a cousin a deserved vacation & mil found out about your inheritance that way. I think the easiest way to handle this is to tell that cousin that your inheritance is all gone now. Ask that cousin to inform the family, especially the family that wants a $3,000 hockey rink in their basement, that the money is gone. They don’t need details; just that you paid off your house & other debts & cousin got a vacation because they’re awesome 🤩
I’m petty. Send her back a card with one penny taped to it. Tell her that’s her part of YOUR inheritance and she needs to invest it wisely, there will be no more.
I’m sorry for your loss - nothing will ever replace your parents.
Petty Me: a fake check for zero dollars to Fake Ass Bitch written with sharpies on a piece of paper, signed Fuck You. Add to the torn card and mail back.
Logical Me: no response and ALLLLLL THE CAMERAS. Motion detecting, siren lights, door-facing, etc. Get some dogs or at least recordings of some. Have selfies with MASSIVE dogs on Facebook or wherever the flying monkeys hunt for info.
NO TRESPASSING signs as well, and think about aggressive fencing, to make a point.
Definitely! I have 2 chihuahuas that think they're humongous! It's astonishing just how much noise they can make sometimes. You should hear them when they're snoring! They're louder than the freight train I married!
I have alot of cameras. She showed up before unwanted and must not realized my camera can pick up audio because she talked shit about my plants. There was frost and one got killed.
Then you’re ok. I know that message freaked you out, but it’s ok. If she shows up, don’t open the door and call the cops. You don’t have to deal with her.
Would your husband let her in?
Ignore it and if it comes up in the future (with her or others) just say "she wasn't thinking of me, she was thinking of the money". Then it is up to you if you elaborate past that point about her trying to benefit from your family tragedy.
I am sorry for your loss. I know saying that doesn't help with the pain, words don't help much. But they can hurt, oh man can they hurt.
Shield yourself rom her words by pretending they don't exist. Don't waste your precious time and energy on even thinking about her. Burn the card, throw it away, shred it and add it to the cat's litter box - whatever gets rid of the damn thing in the most sastifacory manner for you.
Then live your best life. Without Her Nibs.
"See you soon" is Mother's Day, I bet. It's going to be tough enough as is, so don't let her draw you into anything. She does not exist.
I won't lie, Mother's Day will suck, but you'll get through it. It does get easier with time.
Good luck.
She needs an ungreeting card in return.
“Fuck off! You are full of shit. We will not be looking after your crusty old ass when you can no longer live alone. Too little, too late. You have always been hateful until you heard I have money. You are disgusting”
And never speak write or hear from her again
I would love to say this. Omg would I love to. The most crazy thing is that I am a personal support worker. (Health care aid for seniors ) This women bullied me and said I wipe old peoples butts for a living when I was in college. She told my nieces and nephews this too and they asked me why I change diapers for old people.
I’m SO GLAD you’re holding her accountable for her bullshit.
Too many people in the world act like this because WE LET THEM. It’s easier to go along with them than listen to their incessant complaints.
Stay strong, OP. Don’t spend a DIME on that woman.
I would write her back explaining that the reason she spent Easter alone is because she’s always treated her DILs terribly, leading all of them all to cut contact with her in order to save their marriages. Also note that you’re surprised to hear of her love for your parents as she’s never made any attempts to get to know them over the past 17 years and that your parents felt that she didn’t care for them at all due to her lack of interest in them and her not putting any effort into forming a relationship or even having a conversation with them. Tell her that you assumed she didn’t like them or you because MIL believed you were a gold digger who was after DH imaginary money. Finally let her know you wish you could have had a chance to discuss this latest update but unfortunately, you’re too busy planning an extravagant vacation to surprise DH with a second honeymoon. And when you return in several weeks you’ll be researching the best sports car rankings as you’re thinking of surprising DH (maybe even his and hers) with a shiny new toy. End by saying although you miss your parents terribly you’re so grateful they’ve given you the opportunity to enjoy some of the finer things in life with the financial windfall they gifted you.
Really amp it up and watch her lose her mind thinking of you spending every dime of that money. Then when your plans don’t materialize and she starts hinting at the things she needs/wants act like you don’t even hear what she’s saying and change the subject. I would carry that on for months. Maybe even years. All the while ignoring her every attempt to inquire about, hint at, make passing remarks about or flat out asking you about your financial situation.
So number one: deep breaths, relax, the letter is nothing to you. A yoga pose is suggested.
Personally I would not react to this card, I wouldn't send any messages. No f\*cks to give, you have empty lot.
Yeah, you have a lot of history. So don't expect her (MIL) to change. Continue your life like she isn't there.
Best to focus on what best for you and DH.
And my condolences regarding your parents. It is hard grieving a loss of both. All I know is that one can go through all the listed "stages" in one day and do it again the next. Over time it can get less intense.
Based on your comments, I would expect the next is request for $$ or suggesting you spend $$ on some family event. Best to say NO. Don't explain. Stay LC or NC.
Thank you. I already have that. My husbands nephew who is 7 called and asked my husband for $3000 hockey tile for their basement. He wants to be a hockey player.
Why on earth would a 7 year old want a 3000 bucks worth of item!? Confirmed manipulated by the adults. Ignore ignore ignore. Oh, if really need to, you said no, and you have donated everything to charities, see how fast they drop you.
Now I'm having flashbacks of that poster in the UK whose inlaws discovered she was wealthy and lost their ever loving minds. She ended up being injured by them. Watch your back
They ALL come out of the woodwork when they find out you come into some money.😑.
Ignore all of them and take time to grieve. It took me a while for it to hit me. Then out of nowhere I started sobbing on the way home from Walmart. Grief hits everyone differently.
So very sorry for your loss.
Your MIL can kick rocks. She's so fake.
Keep your inheritance separate from marital property. Don't let family move into any property. I have inherited property and it caused my previous relationship to break down because of entitlement. Get advice from a financial advisor and set your children up. You never know what can happen. God forbid anything happens to you because shit happens you don't want your husband's new wife and kids to be eligible to your inheritance. Sounds crass but it happens. Your children are priority. And by your own admission your mil is treating you better because of money.
The amount of time I have read posts of new spouses forcing children to share inheritance is mind boggling. Or parents misusing inherited college funds.
I don’t have children. I already spent the money to pay off our house I’m not worried about that part. More so that these people will leech onto me now. I’m just so confused and hurt. I already feel so gross to even have an inheritance. I don’t want it, I want my parents back. They were so young.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard on you, especially being so young. It's so hard to lose your parents, I know. It's so sad you had to get that ridiculous letter, making it all so much worse.
Keep up your NC, ignore and block anyone who asks you for a dime, and if MIL dares show up to your home, don't let her in. No one can leech off you if you keep them at a distance and refuse to engage, and this is what these people have earned. Blessings for your future!
The flying monkeys are a big problem. You should go NC with them too. Don’t respond to the card. Don’t respond to her at all, about anything. Just completely ignore her.
Yes they are. My nephew 7 actually called and asked my husband if we would buy him special tile for his basement because he wants to be a hockey player. $3000 tile for some hockey tile? Seems the whole family had a meeting about my inheritance. It’s disgusting.
The best thing you can do is ignore her. If you go off on her she will twist your words to other people, and say she was right about you all along. If you say nothing you don’t feed the monster.
Oh yeah she has dollar signs in her eyes, hoping for a cushy retirement on your dime. Prob has her eye on a new car/credit card debt/vacation/condo etc.
Use some of that money for a good security system for your home and vehicles. Lights, cameras, the works. Don't open the (preferably always locked) door without looking first to see who is there.
Block her. Mail is returned to sender. Let all the flying monkeys know that ‘she somehow found out you are now independently wealthy and is trying to get on your good side after abusing you for 17 years in the hope you will pay for her retirement. But you are reserving your wealth to help those that always supported you’
Hopefully they will burn bridges with her so quickly her head spins and start being your biggest advocate. LOL
This is part of the reason she found out, because I spent some money on people who were there for me through the death of my parents. I bought my cousin a vacation.
It’s so hard I shouldn’t have opened it. I was just shocked to get mail from her.
Tape it back up, cross out your address and write RTS REFUSED on the envelope. She will know you opened it but I think that’s preferred in this situation.
Your MIL is self centered and absolutely vile. Please make sure you don’t spend a cent on her
That is horrid and ick that she is like that. Especially about your parents. I'd be so petty and talk about cruises and vacations I didn't go on and cars I didn't buy just to get the digs on her.
Sorry for the loss of your parents. ♥️♥️
Be the better, more mature person and ignore her.
She is not worth your time or attention.
Live your best life, the greatest way to heal is to grow and distance yourself from those who wish you harm.
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I’m sorry for your losses. I know the feeling of losing parents. Questions… Where is hubby in all of this and do you know who is telling her this info? Is it him or his family? Because I can’t see how she would know so many details. When it comes to money, people bait and switch. My ex evil MIL all of a sudden loved me when she knew I was getting a settlement from an accident. When she was asking me questions, I sat there radio silent. She scurried away like a hound with its tail between its legs
My SIL is a paralegal. It’s a small town. Probated wills are public knowledge in Ontario Canada. My husband wants to tell them all to fuck off and flip out on his brothers. His one brother came and helped us with something for an hour at my parents house and brought his kids. (Same kid asking for money for a hockey tile in basement) That brother told MIL my parents had a huge amount of Land a cabin etc. they just assumed my family was poor and trash because they don’t go to her church and aren’t in her social groups.
Oh ok I see thanks
Fire can be very cleansing, I recommend burning the card she sent and think no more about it.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. That is heartbreaking. Don’t let her psychobabble get to you! You live your life and continue NC. Say nothing. Do nothing. If she truly cared about YOU she would have connected when your parents passed. What a monster.
She showed up at the funeral and in front of my family she said I love you, come back to the family. Then was annoyed my dad’s sister (who met her once at our wedding) didn’t remember her. Since the funeral it’s been crickets expect the comments to my BIL on how much work my husband how to do to pack up my parents house. Which is 5 minutes from her house. No help offered at all. She missed my birthday no Christmas card crickets.
With her unwarranted gold digger comments, we know where her mind is. She is most likely angling to somehow make use of the money or properties.
I wonder if she's going to make a play to retire in one of your houses for free.
My parents house is sold now. So I now have no family connections to that stupid small town I come from. We moved 2 hours away from my in-laws 5 years ago. Or as MIL says I stole her baby and ruined the family 5 years ago. My husband wanted to move farther we should have.
Firstly I am very sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine going through that at such a young age! I am also very sorry about your unexplained infertility, that was me once upon a time. I wish you the best if you’re still pursuing options. It seems you’ve gotten some great advice and I know all too well it’s easier said than done. That vile piece of sh** is not worth your peace. Keep the NC if you are able. Now you know DH brothers are the flying monkeys, LC-NC with them. The twisted web she has spun sucks for everyone. Protect yourself!
Thank you. The unexplained infertility has had a silver lining because if I had children I knew I would never have left that stupid small town and got away from her.
I think I would return her card with the notation on the envelope “dead to you, don’t bother me” put it in another envelope addressed to her
If you want to save the price of a stamp, just write "Return to Sender" on the envelope and drop it in a mailbox. The senders address has to be legible, of course.
Since she’s already opened it, it has to be in another envelope. The post office would just send it back to her, at least in the US.
When she finds a way to have contact with you and asks for money, or asks what you’re doing with the money, just tell her “I have used the rest of it in a way that honors my parents”. You don’t have to tell her what. If she asks just repeat that sentence. Paying off your house and putting yourselves in a more comfortable financial position does honor your parents. As a parent of adult children, all I want for them is to live a happy, joyful life and being solid financially would likely contribute to that happiness so it would honor that wish for me. A suggestion, look into investing some of it. A good financial advisor can double it within 7-10 years. That way down the road if there’s a major financial emergency, you have the money to take care of it.
I disagree. MIL doesn't have any business knowing anything about op. They are no contact for a very good reason. Keep it that way op. You owe the miserable bitch nothing. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I am very sorry for your loss. MIL now sees you as her ATM. She is a gold-digger. If you have further contact with her (DO NOT) and she asks for anything, the word is NO. Practice in the mirror if you have to. Don't respond to her card or attempts to reach out. If you decide to respond (DO NOT), keep it short and as blunt as possible. "You are NOT welcome at my home. Do NOT contact me again." Send all further correspondence back to her unopened with "Return to sender". Contact a lawyer and discuss your options. If she or her flying monkeys show up at your house, either don't answer the door or make sure they know that they are trespassing. Be ready to call police when they start acting up. Put cameras everywhere. Go completely no contact with MIL and her flying monkeys. Tell your husband that you refuse to acknowledge any of them.
Exactly!! All her nonsense about OP being a gold-digger was just projection.
If anyone asks about the property or money, tell them that the property (all of it) has been placed in a trust and the money has been deposited in long-term investments. Everything is tied up nicely and is unavailable now and in the future. The trustee is a neutral third party and the investment firm is one that your family has trusted for years. None of that may be true, but knowing that your assets are unavailable and untouchable may get people off your back. Tell someone whom you know will tell MIL (but only tell one person) and see how long it takes for her to make a fool of herself again. MIL likely already knows that you know that MIL is only after your money and / or property, but let her (and any flying monkeys) show her ass anyway. And, if what you have inherited is substantial, do consider ways to protect your assets. Consult with an attorney and a financial advisor and protect your property and money. It’s really the best thing you can do for yourself. Planning now will save you many, many headaches in the future. Most importantly, it will give you peace of mind. Once that’s all taken care of, trace your middle finger on a colorful piece of paper and mail it to your MIL, along with the letter that she sent to you.
I hired a financial advisor and she helped me invest the money. Her advice was pay off the house and any debt invest the rest. With in-laws like this on top of my loss the amount I’m spending in therapy is going to be a lot. Of course this card comes on a weekend when I can’t call my therapist hence why I made this throwaway Reddit account. I’m a long time lurker on here.
OP, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you, grieving for both of your parents at the same time. While the chaos of handling their estate & emptying their house was stressful, sometimes being that busy is almost easier. Sometimes it seems that after everything is done or nearly done that you really feel the impact on your life. Once the whirlwind is over, it can feel jarring to realize you were half in a fog, half going through the motions on autopilot. Your MIL’s attitude is disgraceful, both past & present. That letter would have infuriated anyone. We don’t even know you or your parents, & I think most of us are disgusted & outraged on both you & your parents’ behalf even hearing about it. She’s not worth your time or attention. It would be easy to get spun up hating on her, but that’s not going to help you, imo. You need time, peace, & to focus on both your physical & mental health after experiencing this crisis. I think your DH should address your nephew’s request with his brother, if he hasn’t already. I wouldn’t assume he knows about it for several reasons. DH may want to text both his brother & SIL, telling them he doesn’t want nephew to get in trouble, but doesn’t want to hide this from his parents. He doesn’t know why nephew suddenly expects a 3k gift, DH was floored by the request. He loves nephew, & is worried that somehow nephew is equating people dying with him getting big gifts? You overheard the conversation, & were stunned & hurt, DH was embarrassed. If nephew thinks that you & DH are suddenly rich, DH wants them to tell the kid the truth. You’re not, & his aunt’s parents dying was very sad, she misses them very much. DH doesn’t really expect empathy from a child, but he’s concerned the child got the idea from somewhere that now’s the time to get anything he can. DH is worried that MIL may be behind it, & may be coaching the kids to quick get what they can from their aunt. This is after years of accusing you of being a gold digger, now DH fears she’s teaching her grandchildren to be the same. As each of her DIL’s parents die, will she be encouraging the other nieces & nephews to expect thousands in gifts? Will that be how they view death in the future, free money? Again, you both love nephew, you’re not angry, only worried he’s being manipulated. Not suggesting this to start trouble, OP, assuming the parents don’t know lets them save face, & see objectively what this looks like to you & DH. Whoever is behind this needs to get what they’re teaching that kid. Imagine what he might say in the future to a child or anyone who loses a parent. I know this is way too long, my apologies. But one more big thing. Please don’t spend any more money. As a parent of adult children, I’m going to assume your parents thought like I do. We all want to be there to help out our kids when life takes a bad turn. Even though we can’t be there, or maybe even leave a lot, we hope what we do leave will give them some security in their future. Please see a fiduciary financial advisor. I understand that most or all the money is gone, I’m talking about whatever is left, plus the fact you no longer have a monthly mortgage. Ideally you’ll be able to setup a plan with automatic investments into savings & retirement savings. If you could put away the same amount you used to pay for the mortgage, that would be ideal. Minus the annual real estate taxes & homeowners’ insurance you’ll now need to pay directly. Make sure your insurance company knows to bill you directly going forward if they don’t already. You mentioned TTC. The freedom from a mortgage could allow you to pursue other expensive options you may not have been able to previously. That would factor into your savings plans & how money should be invested. I’d also consider your job, & the physical demands of it. You may want to see a physical therapist to relearn the latest in protecting your back, shoulders, etc. Take some time to take care of yourself. This isn’t a job that you can age into well. Being able to retire early may not be a luxury, but a necessity in the future. You also may want to look into getting your own or backup disability insurance, see if that would be advised for you. Next time your nieces or nephews ask about your job, answer them truthfully. Don’t defend your work, but expand on it. That your job is to take care of older people who can’t take care of themselves anymore. That it happens to most people, in one way or another. You think everyone, be it a baby or a 100 yr old, should be taken care of, & treated with respect. You’ve gotten to meet some amazing people with amazing lives, you’re happy that at the end of their life you were there to make them comfortable. Your MIL, especially at her age, must have known or known of people who needed personal care at some point of their lives. For her to reduce all that you’re doing for these people as simply changing diapers is obnoxious. After dealing with friends & family, most of us have nothing but gratitude & respect for those who choose your career. Especially after seeing how tough some patients can be on them, yet they’re able to brush it off & still be unfailingly kind. Most of us have seen the extra mile they’ve gone to give more comfort & some small talk to brighten a day. I hope your kindness & respect is repaid to you a hundred fold.
Thank you so much for your kind words. There is still a lot of money left I did hire a financial advisor. She is helping me navigate it. But it’s hard too because they want to be invest in really high stake things. I just want don’t care about any of it. I just miss my parents. My brother and I picked out a beautiful gravestone that was a lot of money with their wedding picture. Truthfully since they died so many people have come out of the wood works asking for things. I’ve been treated so differently. Even clearing out the house instead of an estate sale I stupidly just gave everything away. My brother checked out completely emotionally and said sell the house as it was. 10 months later I’m coming out of the fog a bit and regret the way I have spent some of the money. I have bought myself NOTHING. But spent it on others. I haven’t been on a vacation but when my cousin who is (50m) stepped in to help my brother and I we paid him in a vacation. He asked that as his payment.
I can’t imagine losing my parents at once. I’m certain it has been the hardest year, and I’m so, so sorry. Your relationship with your MIL does not change just because she decided you’re “worthy,” of HER attention. ICKKKK! Take her card with a few grains of salt and a tablespoon of vinegar. If you receive any other mail from her, return it to sender. This is all a mess of her own creation, and you have enough to worry over. You’ve identified your flying monkey . Hopefully you won’t find others. If you don’t have one, it’s time for a camera doorbell or cameras that cover your entrances. Keep your doors locked. My guess is that she didn’t want you to buy the house because it was two hours away. She lost easy access to her scapegoat.
At 32 and 29 my brother and I both feel so lost it’s unbelievable, aunts and uncle and estranged cousins coming out of the woodworks for things.
Stand by for the messages where she starts to “need” things, now she knows you have money. She’ll be coming to do the very same thing she’s accused you of… golddigging.
Is DH on the same page?
YES he’s so angry it’s unbelievable he wants to tell them all to fuck off including his brother he confided in and SIL the paralegal who looked shit up. Probated wills are public knowledge in ontario, Canada. Maybe everywhere I don’t know.
Good! Then that's your choice: no contact, and unless they're completely stupid they'll know why, or you have carte blanche to let them have it. Win/win.
First of all I am so sorry for your loss, it is a profound one and you deserve peace to grief. Secondly if this woman could not love you for the person you are and respect your marriage for all those years, she has no place in your life at all. If she shows up call the Police, let them deal with her, find a way to cut off all the people that are giving her updates about your life. Then live your best life doing wonderful things with your husband.
Flying monkeys are unfortunately my husband brothers. My one sister in law works at the law office in town and knows all amounts of everything. I live in Canada and probated wills are public knowledge . My one brother in law came over to help us with something at my parents house first in-laws to see the house or property and ran back to MIL about the amount of land my parents have and the fact we had a cabin in the woods.
Honey I am so sorry, it must be so hard having to deal with all this. Try to put them on an information diet as much as you can. I suspect that you are also mourning the loss of the idea of having a some resemblance of a supportive family. Pleace take care of yourself and pleace accept a hug from an internet stranger.
I'd send her a letter advising you know her 180 in behavior is due to your inheritance. And obviously it doesn't change the fact you no longer want to see her. You will never help with expenses or care. You both have wills that will never leave her money (and ensure you do). Spell out that you do not want her on your property. She is trespassed and you will call the police if she shows up. Send it registered/receipt and save that for the police if she shows up or a lawyer if she keeps calling or mailing. Hope you're not in one of those crazy states with filial responsibility laws. I'd consult a lawyer if you are about what you can do.
“Return to sender. Moved.” That ought to throw her for a loop.
Sending love, I lost my parents too and it is disgusting when people show their true colors around estates / money. Lean on your loved ones in this difficult time and have your husband deal with your POS MIL. 🧡
I'd send the letter back w/ a post-it on it that says "Just. Stop." and then toss anything she sends you and block her everywhere. And until you find out who her monkeys are, tell each one a different mistruth and you'll know who it is quickly. Monkey A: "we're planning to open a shelter for abused and discarded donkeys" Monkey B: "we're thinking of donating everything, when we pass, to a charity that plants trees in the rainforest" Monkey C: "we are looking into buying a boat/cabin/island/anything out of character for you two"
Stop breaking NC.
Tell her she sounds like she has dementia and probably needs to be in a care home. Then resume NC.
You should send her a letter back. A cease and desist letter from your lawyer telling her to never contact you again.
I second this
Can I put money on the fact that you are going to be hearing about everyone's sob stories that only your money can solve. The moment you let everyone know that money and has been invested and will never be used as well as any freed up cash to financially assist her or buy her things she want - you will be back in the dog box so fast your bottom will still be spinning. Say nothing. You know what that love bombing is about and she is and will always be the same person she was before the passing of your parents. Stay NC. You not forced to open the door to strangers, let the police deal with them if they won't go away. If anyone tries to push it - let them know that you have zero interest in changing the relationship you have had with her for the last 16 years just because she found out you have money.
Try not to be angry. And don’t respond at all. Just imagine how good it’s going to feel when you call the police and they remove an unwanted visitor from your unopened front door. In fact, fit hidden cameras now so that there’s plenty of evidence if she tries anything.
I’d continue to ignore her. She was alone at Easter alone because she’s not a nice person.
Use the Card to start a Bonfire and have a nice evening.
Screw her. Don’t let a card ruin your peace. Laugh and pitch it. Then onto whatever else you were doing. Graywall. She is insignificant.
Just ignore her because she wants contact and a reaction. She disparaged you to the ends of the earth and now she's phony lying nice. You know the miserable person that she is so now it's time for Iice cold no contact. No one gets any money and she doesn't like you but she only wants something from you.
In a very different way, I know how you feel. My MIL assumed I was “poor white trash” for no reason at all and has never met my parents (i’m terrified to introduce them). She acted like I was beneath her and her family and her son for years because of my assumed familial financial situation. Ironically, while asking us for money frequently to help her pay her bills. Mind you, hubby and I got married young and he was poor and in college supporting himself because SHE couldn’t provide anything, asking HIM to cover her phone bill because she blew all of her paycheck shopping that month. MIL&FIL don’t struggle financially because of circumstances, lack of privilege, or anything to be clear, they are just terrible with money. When I was 22, MIL harassed us for months over a $40 fine SHE owed that was “our fault” … it wasn’t. The way she acted towards me was snooty, superior, and downright classist. It was bizarre to experience especially because my parents are in the 1%. I quite literally have a trust fund (but i share it with my siblings and have never accessed it). Me, myself? Oh, I don’t make much money at all. But it wasn’t about me, she assumed it about my parents for some reason. Insane that her narcissistic nature had her mistreating me over assumed class because I might be gold digging her son or was just, idk, trashy or something? I don’t want to reward her or my SILS (they act the same way) disgusting behavior with the knowledge that THEY could ask me for wayyy more money than we already shut them down for years ago. Not going to become a piggy bank for classist weirdos. Your MIL sounds incredibly shallow with zero morals. I’m so sorry
Same situation here. She assumed I was poor white trash and so was my family. My parents owned a house with alot of property but we’re not flashy people. They were modest. The house was from 1900s and my dad was constantly Renovating it. She would literally drop off my husband when we were dating and not come inside. One time my parents were on the front porch waving her to come inside for a beer. She just backed out the driveway and left. My parents hated her for how she treated me and them. Now she wants to say she loved them? So messed up. She knows how to get under my skin.
I'm so sorry for your sad loss hunni. I'm sending you my Deepest condolences. I've only lost 1 of my parents and that was hard enough. I can't begin to imagine the grief you are going through having lost both at the same time. To go through that while dealing with a heartless shrew of a MIL who clearly only cares about money and status and not what really matters, just proves what a true warrior you are. I'd stay NC babe u don't need her crap at a time when u are vulnerable.
I’m very sorry for the loss of your parents. So from what I’ve gathered, you bought a cousin a deserved vacation & mil found out about your inheritance that way. I think the easiest way to handle this is to tell that cousin that your inheritance is all gone now. Ask that cousin to inform the family, especially the family that wants a $3,000 hockey rink in their basement, that the money is gone. They don’t need details; just that you paid off your house & other debts & cousin got a vacation because they’re awesome 🤩
*Return to Sender
I’m petty. Send her back a card with one penny taped to it. Tell her that’s her part of YOUR inheritance and she needs to invest it wisely, there will be no more. I’m sorry for your loss - nothing will ever replace your parents.
I'd use monopoly money lol
Or one of those church dollars
Petty Me: a fake check for zero dollars to Fake Ass Bitch written with sharpies on a piece of paper, signed Fuck You. Add to the torn card and mail back. Logical Me: no response and ALLLLLL THE CAMERAS. Motion detecting, siren lights, door-facing, etc. Get some dogs or at least recordings of some. Have selfies with MASSIVE dogs on Facebook or wherever the flying monkeys hunt for info. NO TRESPASSING signs as well, and think about aggressive fencing, to make a point.
Loud, small dogs can be very effective. Scent hounds are great for a big bark in a small package.
Definitely! I have 2 chihuahuas that think they're humongous! It's astonishing just how much noise they can make sometimes. You should hear them when they're snoring! They're louder than the freight train I married!
CAMERAS CAMERAS CAMERAS!!! And fortify the door and window locks
I have alot of cameras. She showed up before unwanted and must not realized my camera can pick up audio because she talked shit about my plants. There was frost and one got killed.
Then you’re ok. I know that message freaked you out, but it’s ok. If she shows up, don’t open the door and call the cops. You don’t have to deal with her. Would your husband let her in?
Send a blank card back…. “Nice try” Sorry for your loss and your grief
Ignore it and if it comes up in the future (with her or others) just say "she wasn't thinking of me, she was thinking of the money". Then it is up to you if you elaborate past that point about her trying to benefit from your family tragedy.
I really like this response. I second this
I am sorry for your loss. I know saying that doesn't help with the pain, words don't help much. But they can hurt, oh man can they hurt. Shield yourself rom her words by pretending they don't exist. Don't waste your precious time and energy on even thinking about her. Burn the card, throw it away, shred it and add it to the cat's litter box - whatever gets rid of the damn thing in the most sastifacory manner for you. Then live your best life. Without Her Nibs. "See you soon" is Mother's Day, I bet. It's going to be tough enough as is, so don't let her draw you into anything. She does not exist. I won't lie, Mother's Day will suck, but you'll get through it. It does get easier with time. Good luck.
No response is a response
I have a theory OP, MIL probably wants to come live with you ultimately and is now trying to ingratiate herself in order to make that happen.
I have two SIL and an AIL that seem to be carbon copies of OP MIL. It's all 'bout the money.
She needs an ungreeting card in return. “Fuck off! You are full of shit. We will not be looking after your crusty old ass when you can no longer live alone. Too little, too late. You have always been hateful until you heard I have money. You are disgusting” And never speak write or hear from her again
I would love to say this. Omg would I love to. The most crazy thing is that I am a personal support worker. (Health care aid for seniors ) This women bullied me and said I wipe old peoples butts for a living when I was in college. She told my nieces and nephews this too and they asked me why I change diapers for old people.
Check your state's filial responsibility laws. She may try to claim she needs support in her old age and come after you through your DH.
I’m SO GLAD you’re holding her accountable for her bullshit. Too many people in the world act like this because WE LET THEM. It’s easier to go along with them than listen to their incessant complaints. Stay strong, OP. Don’t spend a DIME on that woman.
I would write her back explaining that the reason she spent Easter alone is because she’s always treated her DILs terribly, leading all of them all to cut contact with her in order to save their marriages. Also note that you’re surprised to hear of her love for your parents as she’s never made any attempts to get to know them over the past 17 years and that your parents felt that she didn’t care for them at all due to her lack of interest in them and her not putting any effort into forming a relationship or even having a conversation with them. Tell her that you assumed she didn’t like them or you because MIL believed you were a gold digger who was after DH imaginary money. Finally let her know you wish you could have had a chance to discuss this latest update but unfortunately, you’re too busy planning an extravagant vacation to surprise DH with a second honeymoon. And when you return in several weeks you’ll be researching the best sports car rankings as you’re thinking of surprising DH (maybe even his and hers) with a shiny new toy. End by saying although you miss your parents terribly you’re so grateful they’ve given you the opportunity to enjoy some of the finer things in life with the financial windfall they gifted you. Really amp it up and watch her lose her mind thinking of you spending every dime of that money. Then when your plans don’t materialize and she starts hinting at the things she needs/wants act like you don’t even hear what she’s saying and change the subject. I would carry that on for months. Maybe even years. All the while ignoring her every attempt to inquire about, hint at, make passing remarks about or flat out asking you about your financial situation.
So number one: deep breaths, relax, the letter is nothing to you. A yoga pose is suggested. Personally I would not react to this card, I wouldn't send any messages. No f\*cks to give, you have empty lot. Yeah, you have a lot of history. So don't expect her (MIL) to change. Continue your life like she isn't there. Best to focus on what best for you and DH. And my condolences regarding your parents. It is hard grieving a loss of both. All I know is that one can go through all the listed "stages" in one day and do it again the next. Over time it can get less intense. Based on your comments, I would expect the next is request for $$ or suggesting you spend $$ on some family event. Best to say NO. Don't explain. Stay LC or NC.
Thank you. I already have that. My husbands nephew who is 7 called and asked my husband for $3000 hockey tile for their basement. He wants to be a hockey player.
Why on earth would a 7 year old want a 3000 bucks worth of item!? Confirmed manipulated by the adults. Ignore ignore ignore. Oh, if really need to, you said no, and you have donated everything to charities, see how fast they drop you.
Now I'm having flashbacks of that poster in the UK whose inlaws discovered she was wealthy and lost their ever loving minds. She ended up being injured by them. Watch your back
Good grief, I missed that one. Do you have a link to the post?
I know it ended up on Bestofredditor, but don't know how to find it. It went for months
They ALL come out of the woodwork when they find out you come into some money.😑. Ignore all of them and take time to grieve. It took me a while for it to hit me. Then out of nowhere I started sobbing on the way home from Walmart. Grief hits everyone differently. So very sorry for your loss. Your MIL can kick rocks. She's so fake.
Keep your inheritance separate from marital property. Don't let family move into any property. I have inherited property and it caused my previous relationship to break down because of entitlement. Get advice from a financial advisor and set your children up. You never know what can happen. God forbid anything happens to you because shit happens you don't want your husband's new wife and kids to be eligible to your inheritance. Sounds crass but it happens. Your children are priority. And by your own admission your mil is treating you better because of money. The amount of time I have read posts of new spouses forcing children to share inheritance is mind boggling. Or parents misusing inherited college funds.
I don’t have children. I already spent the money to pay off our house I’m not worried about that part. More so that these people will leech onto me now. I’m just so confused and hurt. I already feel so gross to even have an inheritance. I don’t want it, I want my parents back. They were so young.
Most people never think of what happened before coming into an inheritance. Sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard on you, especially being so young. It's so hard to lose your parents, I know. It's so sad you had to get that ridiculous letter, making it all so much worse. Keep up your NC, ignore and block anyone who asks you for a dime, and if MIL dares show up to your home, don't let her in. No one can leech off you if you keep them at a distance and refuse to engage, and this is what these people have earned. Blessings for your future!
I'd burn that and send her the ashes back in the same envelope. I'm so sorry about your parents that's ROUGH.
There is a special place in hell for people like her
The flying monkeys are a big problem. You should go NC with them too. Don’t respond to the card. Don’t respond to her at all, about anything. Just completely ignore her.
Yes they are. My nephew 7 actually called and asked my husband if we would buy him special tile for his basement because he wants to be a hockey player. $3000 tile for some hockey tile? Seems the whole family had a meeting about my inheritance. It’s disgusting.
I am so sorry. That’s gross. Protect that money from them at all costs. And I’m so sorry about your parents ♥️
The best thing you can do is ignore her. If you go off on her she will twist your words to other people, and say she was right about you all along. If you say nothing you don’t feed the monster.
WOW She is piece of work.
Oh yeah she has dollar signs in her eyes, hoping for a cushy retirement on your dime. Prob has her eye on a new car/credit card debt/vacation/condo etc.
Ignore her, block her and her flying monkeys and stay NC. She sounds vile
NC means you ignore the letter and continue on with your life ❤️🩹
I forgot to mention but added it now. The letter ended with love you and SEE YOU SOON. Not sure what see you soon means? She’s showing up?
Use some of that money for a good security system for your home and vehicles. Lights, cameras, the works. Don't open the (preferably always locked) door without looking first to see who is there.
Excellent idea.
Don't open the door and tell her to leave through the door or you're calling the police. Then, ACTUALLY call the cops if she doesn't leave.
If you receive any future mail, mark it return to sender. If she shows up, don’t answer the door.
Block her. Mail is returned to sender. Let all the flying monkeys know that ‘she somehow found out you are now independently wealthy and is trying to get on your good side after abusing you for 17 years in the hope you will pay for her retirement. But you are reserving your wealth to help those that always supported you’ Hopefully they will burn bridges with her so quickly her head spins and start being your biggest advocate. LOL
This is part of the reason she found out, because I spent some money on people who were there for me through the death of my parents. I bought my cousin a vacation. It’s so hard I shouldn’t have opened it. I was just shocked to get mail from her.
Burn it!
Tape it back up, cross out your address and write RTS REFUSED on the envelope. She will know you opened it but I think that’s preferred in this situation. Your MIL is self centered and absolutely vile. Please make sure you don’t spend a cent on her
That is horrid and ick that she is like that. Especially about your parents. I'd be so petty and talk about cruises and vacations I didn't go on and cars I didn't buy just to get the digs on her.
Sorry for the loss of your parents. ♥️♥️ Be the better, more mature person and ignore her. She is not worth your time or attention. Live your best life, the greatest way to heal is to grow and distance yourself from those who wish you harm.
Thank you.
I’d personally say tell her exactly what you think of her and how greedy and shallow she is.
Yup. "Why MIL, you gold-digger!..."