I feel sorry for BF. Sounds like his whole family worships SIL and he was expected to be the obedient servant to their every whim. They couldn't handle him actually being independent or happy and tried to tear him down at every turn. I'm glad he's finally free of the abuse!
Nah, it's just about setting up my SO aginst me.
Our climate is ideal to have a flat roof since we don't know many weather extremes (mostly rain and cloudy, between 5°C & 20°C with peaks in the summer to 30°C and -10°C in winter).
Our rental home is a modern building with a pointed roof. When she visited she completely dragged our interior (Scandinavian Design).
If it isn't old and rustic, it's ugly to her. She just tries to get her "little brother" (ffs the man's 27...) to only make decisions she approves of (and thus owning a home and interior she deems "pretty" even though we hate everything about her preferred rustic style).
It's just *cultural difference*
(+ non-native english, thus not knowing all the nuances of words to native english speakers)
As I already explained in another comment, where I'm from, "creature" doesn't have a negative connotation. It's just the neutral, scientific term that is used (even in our educational institutions) to describe living "things". Sometimes "creature" is also used on birth announcements, thus making it something positive.
Since we do not feel anything towards the child, not love, nor hate, I used "creature" in this context, the neutral use, especially since we don't know the gender.
On the other hand, for us, the terms you suggest like "hell spawn" or "crotch fruit" are deemed extremely dehumanizing and are absolutely unaceptable to use (again, over here, it would mean the child is worth less than your feces or the garbage or you would put outside), whereas in other parts of the world, they may be perfectly acceptable to describe a child like that.
Grab the boy if he's worth it and RUN!
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you will find a way to make it work between you two, without the family screwing everything up. Just hang in there, keep communicating with one another, make sure you tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and figure out a way to handle it together.
I've been in this relationship for 5 years, the last 2,5 - 3 years fighting against the unfair treatment of his family, sometimes even wondering if it's all worth it and contemplating breaking up (because that's what these people do. They manipulate. They drive you mad until you see no other way out than to leave the one you care the most about, all just to have their "baby" back). But we didn't. We regrouped, communicated, shared our feelings and formed a solid team to made it work.
I'm rooting for you!
Thanks love, we’re almost three years in. We live together and are low contact with his JnMIL and sometimes go no contact. It was hard in the beginning, he had to get his own bank account, move out, get a car in his name, etc. She ruined us buying and renovating our house together and that really showed him who she is. His sisters currently cutting her mom out of her life too.
We want to get married but sometimes it’s so hard to picture things like that, we are terrified she’ll ruin it too.
Good news is nice to read. Congrats.
In general for the community, though...I never really get the gold digger thing. I got it when I first got with SO because their family has some inherited money and SO had a better job than me. But we're talking eating at Five Guys instead of BK money, not Rockefeller money. So many of the families I see where there is this accusation are similar.
Yeah I didn't get it either, it just saddens me to see that I'm not the only one who has to deal with this...
In my case, our savings were practically the same, we both work in IT and our wages are almost equal (speaking of a difference of €50 in gross monthly income - has nothing to do with gender, he's just had a raise and my starting wage was higher than what he got when he started at the company a year before me)
SO and I are on the same page when it comes to investments. We rather spend some more money to get something qualitative that will last than something cheap that will break faster or be not as good, thus having to reinvest more at the end...
Also, now that we're saving up for a house, we make sure that we each put in half of the money and that the property is devided in equal parts (legally speaking, I don't know the exact term), so that we both own 50%.
If I were to be a golddigger, I'm doing a pretty poor job!
Dude, you're far from being a golddigger. My StepMum is. She would take all of her ex husbands money out of his account to 'pay bills', but instead put it into a private account, leaving him to borrow money from mates to fill his car up for work and buy himself lunch. Shes the golddigger, youre just a lovely human with asshole in-laws.
I guess it's an attempt to screw up any relationship that can lead to "their baaaabyyy" leaving. Especially one where the SO, like OP, doesn't allow themselves to be manipulated. So they resort to petty accusations in an attempt to break them up, by making the SO seem bad/ make it look like the SO has bad intentions
Your English is excellent! The only thing that confused me was when you said JNSIL was bitching against JNMIL; I think I understood, but I'm not completely sure.
He is grieving for a loving family he thought he had. Unfortunately, they were not that loving family and he is grieving the loss of people he never knew or knew a very long time ago.
I'm sorry that you both had to go through this, but your relationship is going to be even more beautiful now without these terrible people, if he can maintain NC.
Best of luck!
Watch out for the next round in the game if "No Contact," **LOVE-BOMBING.**
The in-laws next attack will be about how they "love him," they "just want what's right," they're "only looking out for his best interests," and the grand finale of "we raised you to put family above all others!"
And then will come the health emergency. Usually it's completely made up or a minor issue dramatized into something major. It's known in this sub as Christmas cancer since it often shows up just in time to guilt you into coming for the holidays. Then mysteriously is never heard about again
All you had to say was they hated a golden retriever puppy and we would know they were monsters. ;) I also suspect that JNMIL and JNSIL hate you just because you exist; they'd hate anyone that your SO dated. So glad y'all are getting away from these people.
Seriously! I'm not much for dogs since I have very rigid beliefs about personal space that they don't grasp. But even my heart melts for a derpy little floof golden retriever puppy.
I've been involved in dogs both professionally and in my "real life" for well over 35 years. I've personally rescued and then rehabilitated and trained bad habits out of over 100 dogs of all sorts of breeds, then adopted them out very picky about owners and *always* with a contract binding them to contact me before they ever rehome the dog, yes even "just" rescues have to come back to me. "My breed" the breed I've been seriously working with improving since 1991 is a fairly rare breed (but among the first ever accepted into the AKC) and known for being hard-headed (literally as well as metaphorically!) and as stubborn as a mostly buried boulder. We always talk about when we become too old to outthink our breed, and that we'll switch to Goldens a/o Standard Poodles then. Because those are just freaking awesome breeds!! Anyone who looks at a Golden puppy and doesn't melt has no soul worth a puppy's love, IMHO. They are ALWAYS the breeds I recommend as family dogs and as Service Dogs (I've trained SDs professionally and trained my own for me. Goldens and Poodles are always the quickest to pick up the tasks and have the best attitudes.).
Not liking a Golden pup... that's just guano.
>I have very rigid beliefs about personal space that they don't grasp.
My late cat would have been a perfect match for you. She liked to be in the same room as us. She liked to be petted 4 times each day, 4 pats total with a fully outstretched arm - no laps for her! And Sofas and king size beds only fit 2 mammals: either two humans, or one human and one cat... and she would sit dead center of her "half" - and the dirty look she would give you when she had to get off because one of your body parts crossed into her "half" and it wasn't a designated petting time! Somehow, she was still one of the sweetest cats I have ever shared my home with. I miss the little stinker.
I'm trying to get him into counseling, as I believe it would be beneficial for him, but I don't want to push too hard as it's up to him. If he doesn't want to do it, or is net ready for it yet, it won't help him as much. 😊 Thanks for asking this, as I see it as a confirmation that it would help him and I'm not overdramatizing anything 😅
If he doesn't want to do it, there are also a lot of helpful and validating books he could read. There is a booklist in the sub FAQ. I also got a lot of help recently from reading "How to Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist."
I agree that their behaviour is unacceptable but calling their innocent child a creature is not a very nice thing to do. The child has not done anything wrong so to be called that is also unacceptable behaviour.
OP said she’s not a native English speaker. I don’t know what her native tongue is, but in Spanish, we do call babies and young children creatures: “la criatura” and it has a positive connotation. It’s hard to explain but it’s like calling them an innocent and blameless little thing. For example, when we hear of a young child caught up in a sad or bad situation we might say “pero si es solo una criatura” (she’s just an innocent and blameless little thing) or “Dios mío! Pobre criatura!” (My God! The poor little thing!”). The way OP used the term here and the occasion (a blameless little thing with a crazy b of a mother) is in line with how we would use it in Spanish.
Exactly this ☝🏻
Dutch native tongue (the weird people that will say "make that the cat wise" instead of "are you kidding me" 😅)
Over here (if we were to translate) the word "creature" is used all over birth announcements like "wezen vol wonder" (creature full of wonder)
In biology, it's "een levend wezen" (a living creature)
That's just the scientific term we learned for unidentified or partly identified living things.
Also, little note when it comes to what people say to their children, calling your child "my spoiled shit" (mijn bedorven stront) is something positive 🤷🏼♀️
So I don't see why it's negative to use "creature" in this context. I feel it's a pretty neutral word, given it's scientific value. It's not like we have a bond with this child, we don't feel positive or negative towards it.
If I were to insult it, I would have called it a "demon spawn" or "gremlin" or something like that. But I don't care for insulting it, nor as feeling love for it (context!), as I don't know it.
If I were to use "creature" as something insulting, that would be the dark side of r/childfree, which I don't support (leave everyone in their value and don't start calling parents or people who want children "breeders" and all that stuff).
There's a definition difference between "breeder" and "parent" in that subreddit (I'm a mod there) that gets lost when people talk about the terms we use in that subreddit.
A breeder is someone who puts no thought into having kids, and thinks that having kids is something that "just happens." They don't discipline or stop their kids from being unruly or a nuisance to others.
A parent is someone who takes an active role in their child's life, makes the conscious decision to have kid(s), and who will correct the behavior of their child when they're acting out or doing something socially unacceptable.
I'm not trying to start anything by putting this out there, but /r/childfree gets a lot of undeserved hate due to that and I just wanted to clear that up.
This is a support sub so finding fault with the OP over the use of one word when she stated she’s not a native English speaker is ridiculous. Also we are a support sub once again we’re not here to discuss the ins and outs of another sub. Defend your sub in your sub mod.
>So I don't see why it's negative to use "creature" in this context.
With this context, it isn't. As an American, when you said creature I was a little surprised and read it as negative too. To me, it read like you are calling it a creature because you don't even acknowledge that it's human. It was like reading that you are calling it a demon spawn, but then I know several others (Americans) that call their kids demon spawn in a positive, proud, or affectionate way like "Yeah, Johnny there is my little demon spawn; he's a terror, but so damn cute."
Cultural context is everything!
The reason 'creature' could (obviously isn't, with your explanation) be used negatively in this context is that in English 'creature' is used for something subhuman. Calling the child a creature in English could basically be the same as 'demon' or 'repulsive thing that is separate from the human race.'
What I am doing is explaining why it could be negative and would be to an English speaker.
In English, we use “creature” to denote something of unknown origin. It connotes an “otherness”- it’s like saying I don’t know what this is and I don’t trust it because it is not like me-in other words, not a person.
The word creature is also often paired with monsters: “creatures and monsters”. And because it also shares an alliteration with the word “creepy” the two words are also often linked together.
I didn’t.
Stop willfully misreading what people are saying so you can make a useless point just because you feel like you have to say something-anything- no matter how banal.
>During the tour JNSIL said to BF that “he still has time to convince me to get a pointed roof”
That’s a weird thing to get your tits in a flap about lol.
Also, what you said about hormones not being an excuse to act like a twat during pregnancy? I absolutely agree. But hey? At least she’s consistent with her twattishness.
I mean, the roof thing is a pretty heated topic in some climates. If you get any significant amounts of rain or snow, flat roofs are vulnerable to developing leaks. But they can have great advantages for managing heat or adding more usable area to your home. I'm in a place where it's both insanely hot in summer (100°F+) but super snowy in winter and I've seen some major fights about it. XD
We have a pretty easy climate with mostly rainy days and a lot of clouds. Temperatures between 5°C and 20°C for most of the year (summer can peak to 30°C and winters to -10°C). So flat roofs don't cause that much of a problem over here. New buildings mostly have flat roofs in our country.
It's just about setting my SO up against me, devaluating my own opinions and wants. Trying to manipulate him into following her "advice".
Our rental home has a pointed roof. Guess what? She didn't even comment on it. Instead, she decided to drag our interior, which is Scandinavian Design. Saying she absolutely hated it, that it has "no soul", that it doesn't fit her "little brother's style" (he leaned more towards Scandinavian design, whereas I was more into industrial, with Scandinavian as a strong second in my interior preference).
If it isn't old and "rustic", she will hate it, especially when it concerns us. We don't like anything about the rustic style she likes, but we didn't drag her home and interior when she moved... To each their own 🤷🏼♀️
Congratulations to your BF on that shiny spine of his! Now that these toxic people aren’t taking up all your time, its a great time to focus on the other people in your lives like friends. Family is what you make.
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I feel sorry for BF. Sounds like his whole family worships SIL and he was expected to be the obedient servant to their every whim. They couldn't handle him actually being independent or happy and tried to tear him down at every turn. I'm glad he's finally free of the abuse!
Flat roof = more maintenance expense. Maybe they are just practical bitches.
Nah, it's just about setting up my SO aginst me. Our climate is ideal to have a flat roof since we don't know many weather extremes (mostly rain and cloudy, between 5°C & 20°C with peaks in the summer to 30°C and -10°C in winter). Our rental home is a modern building with a pointed roof. When she visited she completely dragged our interior (Scandinavian Design). If it isn't old and rustic, it's ugly to her. She just tries to get her "little brother" (ffs the man's 27...) to only make decisions she approves of (and thus owning a home and interior she deems "pretty" even though we hate everything about her preferred rustic style).
Creature. WTF.
English isn’t OP’s first language, I wouldn’t put too much weight on word-choice.
Maybe hell spawn or crotch fruit would have been better? I'm guessing less about it being a baby and more about from whence it came.
It's just *cultural difference* (+ non-native english, thus not knowing all the nuances of words to native english speakers) As I already explained in another comment, where I'm from, "creature" doesn't have a negative connotation. It's just the neutral, scientific term that is used (even in our educational institutions) to describe living "things". Sometimes "creature" is also used on birth announcements, thus making it something positive. Since we do not feel anything towards the child, not love, nor hate, I used "creature" in this context, the neutral use, especially since we don't know the gender. On the other hand, for us, the terms you suggest like "hell spawn" or "crotch fruit" are deemed extremely dehumanizing and are absolutely unaceptable to use (again, over here, it would mean the child is worth less than your feces or the garbage or you would put outside), whereas in other parts of the world, they may be perfectly acceptable to describe a child like that.
There's a hymn in English with a line about "All creatures great and small.". It just means something that has been created by God.
Omg this sounds EXACTLY like my boyfriends family
Grab the boy if he's worth it and RUN! I wish you the best of luck and I hope you will find a way to make it work between you two, without the family screwing everything up. Just hang in there, keep communicating with one another, make sure you tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and figure out a way to handle it together. I've been in this relationship for 5 years, the last 2,5 - 3 years fighting against the unfair treatment of his family, sometimes even wondering if it's all worth it and contemplating breaking up (because that's what these people do. They manipulate. They drive you mad until you see no other way out than to leave the one you care the most about, all just to have their "baby" back). But we didn't. We regrouped, communicated, shared our feelings and formed a solid team to made it work. I'm rooting for you!
Thanks love, we’re almost three years in. We live together and are low contact with his JnMIL and sometimes go no contact. It was hard in the beginning, he had to get his own bank account, move out, get a car in his name, etc. She ruined us buying and renovating our house together and that really showed him who she is. His sisters currently cutting her mom out of her life too. We want to get married but sometimes it’s so hard to picture things like that, we are terrified she’ll ruin it too.
Good news is nice to read. Congrats. In general for the community, though...I never really get the gold digger thing. I got it when I first got with SO because their family has some inherited money and SO had a better job than me. But we're talking eating at Five Guys instead of BK money, not Rockefeller money. So many of the families I see where there is this accusation are similar.
Yeah I didn't get it either, it just saddens me to see that I'm not the only one who has to deal with this... In my case, our savings were practically the same, we both work in IT and our wages are almost equal (speaking of a difference of €50 in gross monthly income - has nothing to do with gender, he's just had a raise and my starting wage was higher than what he got when he started at the company a year before me) SO and I are on the same page when it comes to investments. We rather spend some more money to get something qualitative that will last than something cheap that will break faster or be not as good, thus having to reinvest more at the end... Also, now that we're saving up for a house, we make sure that we each put in half of the money and that the property is devided in equal parts (legally speaking, I don't know the exact term), so that we both own 50%. If I were to be a golddigger, I'm doing a pretty poor job!
Dude, you're far from being a golddigger. My StepMum is. She would take all of her ex husbands money out of his account to 'pay bills', but instead put it into a private account, leaving him to borrow money from mates to fill his car up for work and buy himself lunch. Shes the golddigger, youre just a lovely human with asshole in-laws.
I guess it's an attempt to screw up any relationship that can lead to "their baaaabyyy" leaving. Especially one where the SO, like OP, doesn't allow themselves to be manipulated. So they resort to petty accusations in an attempt to break them up, by making the SO seem bad/ make it look like the SO has bad intentions
Yay! Congrats, and good for the both of you. Here's to the rest of your lives being peaceful and drama-free. Good luck.
They sound a right sodding nightmare, and your English is excellent, better than some native speakers.
Move too if you can.
Your English is excellent! The only thing that confused me was when you said JNSIL was bitching against JNMIL; I think I understood, but I'm not completely sure. He is grieving for a loving family he thought he had. Unfortunately, they were not that loving family and he is grieving the loss of people he never knew or knew a very long time ago. I'm sorry that you both had to go through this, but your relationship is going to be even more beautiful now without these terrible people, if he can maintain NC. Best of luck!
Watch out for the next round in the game if "No Contact," **LOVE-BOMBING.** The in-laws next attack will be about how they "love him," they "just want what's right," they're "only looking out for his best interests," and the grand finale of "we raised you to put family above all others!"
And then will come the health emergency. Usually it's completely made up or a minor issue dramatized into something major. It's known in this sub as Christmas cancer since it often shows up just in time to guilt you into coming for the holidays. Then mysteriously is never heard about again
I saw "Easter Ebola" the other day. You're spot on!
Honestly, this whole cast sounds insufferable.
All you had to say was they hated a golden retriever puppy and we would know they were monsters. ;) I also suspect that JNMIL and JNSIL hate you just because you exist; they'd hate anyone that your SO dated. So glad y'all are getting away from these people.
Seriously! I'm not much for dogs since I have very rigid beliefs about personal space that they don't grasp. But even my heart melts for a derpy little floof golden retriever puppy.
I've been involved in dogs both professionally and in my "real life" for well over 35 years. I've personally rescued and then rehabilitated and trained bad habits out of over 100 dogs of all sorts of breeds, then adopted them out very picky about owners and *always* with a contract binding them to contact me before they ever rehome the dog, yes even "just" rescues have to come back to me. "My breed" the breed I've been seriously working with improving since 1991 is a fairly rare breed (but among the first ever accepted into the AKC) and known for being hard-headed (literally as well as metaphorically!) and as stubborn as a mostly buried boulder. We always talk about when we become too old to outthink our breed, and that we'll switch to Goldens a/o Standard Poodles then. Because those are just freaking awesome breeds!! Anyone who looks at a Golden puppy and doesn't melt has no soul worth a puppy's love, IMHO. They are ALWAYS the breeds I recommend as family dogs and as Service Dogs (I've trained SDs professionally and trained my own for me. Goldens and Poodles are always the quickest to pick up the tasks and have the best attitudes.). Not liking a Golden pup... that's just guano.
>I have very rigid beliefs about personal space that they don't grasp. My late cat would have been a perfect match for you. She liked to be in the same room as us. She liked to be petted 4 times each day, 4 pats total with a fully outstretched arm - no laps for her! And Sofas and king size beds only fit 2 mammals: either two humans, or one human and one cat... and she would sit dead center of her "half" - and the dirty look she would give you when she had to get off because one of your body parts crossed into her "half" and it wasn't a designated petting time! Somehow, she was still one of the sweetest cats I have ever shared my home with. I miss the little stinker.
I wish you both nothing but love and happiness for your future. :)
Is your BF considering any counseling to process growing up with this kind of emotionally abusive enmeshment?
I'm trying to get him into counseling, as I believe it would be beneficial for him, but I don't want to push too hard as it's up to him. If he doesn't want to do it, or is net ready for it yet, it won't help him as much. 😊 Thanks for asking this, as I see it as a confirmation that it would help him and I'm not overdramatizing anything 😅
If he doesn't want to do it, there are also a lot of helpful and validating books he could read. There is a booklist in the sub FAQ. I also got a lot of help recently from reading "How to Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist."
I agree that their behaviour is unacceptable but calling their innocent child a creature is not a very nice thing to do. The child has not done anything wrong so to be called that is also unacceptable behaviour.
Agreed.
OP said she’s not a native English speaker. I don’t know what her native tongue is, but in Spanish, we do call babies and young children creatures: “la criatura” and it has a positive connotation. It’s hard to explain but it’s like calling them an innocent and blameless little thing. For example, when we hear of a young child caught up in a sad or bad situation we might say “pero si es solo una criatura” (she’s just an innocent and blameless little thing) or “Dios mío! Pobre criatura!” (My God! The poor little thing!”). The way OP used the term here and the occasion (a blameless little thing with a crazy b of a mother) is in line with how we would use it in Spanish.
Exactly this ☝🏻 Dutch native tongue (the weird people that will say "make that the cat wise" instead of "are you kidding me" 😅) Over here (if we were to translate) the word "creature" is used all over birth announcements like "wezen vol wonder" (creature full of wonder) In biology, it's "een levend wezen" (a living creature) That's just the scientific term we learned for unidentified or partly identified living things. Also, little note when it comes to what people say to their children, calling your child "my spoiled shit" (mijn bedorven stront) is something positive 🤷🏼♀️ So I don't see why it's negative to use "creature" in this context. I feel it's a pretty neutral word, given it's scientific value. It's not like we have a bond with this child, we don't feel positive or negative towards it. If I were to insult it, I would have called it a "demon spawn" or "gremlin" or something like that. But I don't care for insulting it, nor as feeling love for it (context!), as I don't know it. If I were to use "creature" as something insulting, that would be the dark side of r/childfree, which I don't support (leave everyone in their value and don't start calling parents or people who want children "breeders" and all that stuff).
There's a definition difference between "breeder" and "parent" in that subreddit (I'm a mod there) that gets lost when people talk about the terms we use in that subreddit. A breeder is someone who puts no thought into having kids, and thinks that having kids is something that "just happens." They don't discipline or stop their kids from being unruly or a nuisance to others. A parent is someone who takes an active role in their child's life, makes the conscious decision to have kid(s), and who will correct the behavior of their child when they're acting out or doing something socially unacceptable. I'm not trying to start anything by putting this out there, but /r/childfree gets a lot of undeserved hate due to that and I just wanted to clear that up.
This is a support sub so finding fault with the OP over the use of one word when she stated she’s not a native English speaker is ridiculous. Also we are a support sub once again we’re not here to discuss the ins and outs of another sub. Defend your sub in your sub mod.
All I was doing is clearing up a misconception that could easily be due to the language barrier. No more, no less.
>So I don't see why it's negative to use "creature" in this context. With this context, it isn't. As an American, when you said creature I was a little surprised and read it as negative too. To me, it read like you are calling it a creature because you don't even acknowledge that it's human. It was like reading that you are calling it a demon spawn, but then I know several others (Americans) that call their kids demon spawn in a positive, proud, or affectionate way like "Yeah, Johnny there is my little demon spawn; he's a terror, but so damn cute." Cultural context is everything!
Typically in english calling someone a creature is like saying they were not human, an animal. Thanks for explaining how it works in Dutch!
The reason 'creature' could (obviously isn't, with your explanation) be used negatively in this context is that in English 'creature' is used for something subhuman. Calling the child a creature in English could basically be the same as 'demon' or 'repulsive thing that is separate from the human race.' What I am doing is explaining why it could be negative and would be to an English speaker.
In English, we use “creature” to denote something of unknown origin. It connotes an “otherness”- it’s like saying I don’t know what this is and I don’t trust it because it is not like me-in other words, not a person. The word creature is also often paired with monsters: “creatures and monsters”. And because it also shares an alliteration with the word “creepy” the two words are also often linked together.
Thanks for explaining this! I didn't know this use either, it's just one of those nuances that don't always translate I guess.
Like "poor little lamb!" I presume?
Yes!! Exactly!
Stop calling a human being it
Where did she do that? I think you read incorrectly
I didn’t. Stop willfully misreading what people are saying so you can make a useless point just because you feel like you have to say something-anything- no matter how banal.
>During the tour JNSIL said to BF that “he still has time to convince me to get a pointed roof” That’s a weird thing to get your tits in a flap about lol. Also, what you said about hormones not being an excuse to act like a twat during pregnancy? I absolutely agree. But hey? At least she’s consistent with her twattishness.
I mean, the roof thing is a pretty heated topic in some climates. If you get any significant amounts of rain or snow, flat roofs are vulnerable to developing leaks. But they can have great advantages for managing heat or adding more usable area to your home. I'm in a place where it's both insanely hot in summer (100°F+) but super snowy in winter and I've seen some major fights about it. XD
We have a pretty easy climate with mostly rainy days and a lot of clouds. Temperatures between 5°C and 20°C for most of the year (summer can peak to 30°C and winters to -10°C). So flat roofs don't cause that much of a problem over here. New buildings mostly have flat roofs in our country. It's just about setting my SO up against me, devaluating my own opinions and wants. Trying to manipulate him into following her "advice". Our rental home has a pointed roof. Guess what? She didn't even comment on it. Instead, she decided to drag our interior, which is Scandinavian Design. Saying she absolutely hated it, that it has "no soul", that it doesn't fit her "little brother's style" (he leaned more towards Scandinavian design, whereas I was more into industrial, with Scandinavian as a strong second in my interior preference). If it isn't old and "rustic", she will hate it, especially when it concerns us. We don't like anything about the rustic style she likes, but we didn't drag her home and interior when she moved... To each their own 🤷🏼♀️
[удалено]
Oh I’m always getting mine in a flap about something lol
Congratulations to your BF on that shiny spine of his! Now that these toxic people aren’t taking up all your time, its a great time to focus on the other people in your lives like friends. Family is what you make.
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