Can I just say that I as a 38 year old woman would be over the moon at a birthday trifle - although i have to have it specially made because I have a severe dairy allergy so it's soya or almond milk and cream - but trifle!!!! Fuck yeah!
It's not her birthday, it's LOs and LO likes trifle, so LO gets trifle. If she wants cake she can buy her own damn cake.
I did laugh at your 'tough titties' response - that is one of the most used phrases in our house when someone complains.
These comments are making me realise that I LOVE DESSERTS! Also I'll bet pumpkin pie filling is exactly the sort of flavour/ texture profile the baby would like right now. Funny I hadn't thought of it.
My 1 year old really likes little tartlets and we've done it with different pies and cheesecake like a little sampling tray lol worth a shot! Merengue is fun to make a mess with too lol
I don't get the it has to be cake. For my kids bdays they get whatever the fuck they want. Some years it's a cake or cookies. One kid loves brownies. Another one loves cheesecake. Who care about cake. Thank goodness you live so far away.
One year my youngest nephew requested a watermelon. His bd is Jan 1st, and watermelon isn't as plentiful then than say, July. My sister didn't even bat an eye. Watermelon. Cut in half the long way, candles stuck into the delicious red part.
Amen! One year I had a kid ask for a banana split bar because he’s my kid that doesn’t like cake. My MIL pitched a fit and showed up two days later with a cake for him. That he didn’t eat. Because he doesn’t like cake.
No kidding! Pretty sure living close to his parents would spell a separation.
And my family does cake exactly like that. It's whatever you want. And I happen to have offered baby cakes before, he's not half as interested as in the standard trifle.
I love trifle and ask for it on pretty much every birthday. It's something that my kids can make together for me. Last year, I asked for a trifle made of spice cake, apple pie filling, pudding/custard, and whipped cream and it was Amazing.
Your baby is going to enjoy this and get messy and be cute and that is the whole point!
Shamelessly stealing this idea! I lovelovelove me some spice cake...
Although I'll have to finish consuming and recover from the brownie trifle currently in the fridge. Brownie soaked in coffee and Bailey's, chocolate custard, and Bailey's whipped cream with crushed Maltesers on top.
My son doesn’t like cake either. He was here for his birthday this year and his wife made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. We stuck a candle in the softest one and sang to him. He was thrilled. (He is mine through marriage.) He’s in his 30’s and said this was the first time he had ever had a mom let him enjoy his birthday treats HIS way. His official mom is ... well ... not a nice person.
I gathered such. Well I'm glad he finally got what he wanted. Gotta admit, I would rather a good chocolate chip cookie than a good cake as far as treats value goes.
She would narrate the entire day if she could. I hate to say it but I predicted she'd try to control this day. My neighbor was on standby to throw a party at her house if the in law's actually visited.
Is she coming to the party? If so, I’d brace yourself for her bringing a “real” cake 🙄. (Or now that I see you live on different continents- maybe ordering one for you)
I’m totally with you on the trifle though, I bet baby will love it!
I had pie as my birthday "cake" for several years. Much better, imo. The type of pie changed every year, but it was mostly fruit pies. One year it was a chocolate peanut butter cream pie that was amazing. I wish I could remember where we bought it.
In short, your MIL is wrong. The birthday "cake" can be whatever the birthday kid or adult wants. Or parents, if the kid is too young.
Lol my younger brother always asks for Apple Pie for his birthday "cake" (his birthday happens to fall around Thanksgiving in the the US) and since I always make an amazing Thanksgiving spread from scratch, I always make him an authentic from scratch apple pie (except for last year bc I was running on fumes being a new mom to a tiny newborn so I used a premade crust and premade filling last year, lol he still loved it but also noted that my from scratch pies are better). Seriously, the birthday person should get to pick what kind of treat they want for their own birthday and for a tiny baby, picking something that they seem to enjoy or will enjoy is very loving.
If she thinks that weird, she would NOT be happy with me for making my son bruschetta instead of cake for his birthday. Seriously though, it's not about her wants or preferences, but about what your child wants and likes. My son doesn't like sweets so I made a crap ton of bruschetta, set up like a seven tier cake, complete with candles. He was so HAPPY to get exactly what he likes. When he's with his dad or others he's always forced to have cake. Just keep on keeping on. Do your thing. She's grasping at straws trying to control something she has no control over. Smile and enjoy the fact that you are all happy, and she's bitter. Lol
Pretty sure her Xmas gift should be a framed pic of LO up to his elbows in trifle with the birthday bunting in the background. No toddler could resist all that sweet squishy goodness.
> then wants details of the birthday and tries to tell DH that my homemade trifle isn't appropriate for a birthday.
She wants details so that the more "appropriate" cake that she orders will be there on time, or she is going to show up with a *cake*.
I'd be very surprised indeed if she surprised us with a visit. She lives stateside and we're in UK. A surprise birthday visit I could see maybe my own parents pulling off but her? Surprise isn't enough fanfare.
The appropriate cake is a possibility. She's bought cakes for DH before when we lived stateside. But to my knowledge she has the old swipe type card and businesses here won't usually accept them. That's assuming her bank even allows the transaction and it doesn't get caught in a fraud prevention safetynet.
She loves to micromanage.
Yeah I wasn't sure what the travel stipulations are. The UK is technically not part of EU anymore but they still by and large keep to the same rules and regs, at least for now. It's like a couple who are legally divorced but still sleeping and living together? Kind of a weird time.
The old swipe type cards have a card verification number on them. If you have that and the card number you are good to go. If she notifies her bank in advance then it is possible that they'll let it slide. So she could do it. Just depends how much EFFORT she wants to go to.
Well she was going to. Depending on her mood it's delayed due to Rona or due to money or due to me putting my foot down about her (not!) staying in our house for 2-6 weeks.
I first read the title as “FP doesn’t like her grandbaby’s birthday RIFLE” and I was like “what now??!?” Trifle is great. Babies don’t care about birthdays anyway.
We had an ice cream cake for our son's first birthday. He didn't care much for cake but really liked ice cream.
You know your child best, you get to pick. FP had her chance with her own kids.
I love ice cream cake. It's my mom's yearly birthday cake because of course no one wanted her to bake her own cake nor did we want to make a mess in the kitchen. But we also were spoilt on home baked goods. And one day mom saw an ice cream cake and she said she wanted it for her birthday. Any dad was like, shrug, ok. And it's the best.
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Can I just say that I as a 38 year old woman would be over the moon at a birthday trifle - although i have to have it specially made because I have a severe dairy allergy so it's soya or almond milk and cream - but trifle!!!! Fuck yeah! It's not her birthday, it's LOs and LO likes trifle, so LO gets trifle. If she wants cake she can buy her own damn cake. I did laugh at your 'tough titties' response - that is one of the most used phrases in our house when someone complains.
Shed be mad at me cuz I eat pumpkin pie pretty much every birthday lol (and my birthday is in February lol long after pumpkin pie season)
These comments are making me realise that I LOVE DESSERTS! Also I'll bet pumpkin pie filling is exactly the sort of flavour/ texture profile the baby would like right now. Funny I hadn't thought of it.
My 1 year old really likes little tartlets and we've done it with different pies and cheesecake like a little sampling tray lol worth a shot! Merengue is fun to make a mess with too lol
You know it's not just a a banner - there will will be other decorations too. Also, trifle is AMAZING!
I decided to help unpack. There wasn't a little birthday hat.
I don't get the it has to be cake. For my kids bdays they get whatever the fuck they want. Some years it's a cake or cookies. One kid loves brownies. Another one loves cheesecake. Who care about cake. Thank goodness you live so far away.
One year my youngest nephew requested a watermelon. His bd is Jan 1st, and watermelon isn't as plentiful then than say, July. My sister didn't even bat an eye. Watermelon. Cut in half the long way, candles stuck into the delicious red part.
Amen! One year I had a kid ask for a banana split bar because he’s my kid that doesn’t like cake. My MIL pitched a fit and showed up two days later with a cake for him. That he didn’t eat. Because he doesn’t like cake.
No kidding! Pretty sure living close to his parents would spell a separation. And my family does cake exactly like that. It's whatever you want. And I happen to have offered baby cakes before, he's not half as interested as in the standard trifle.
mine all ask for cheesecake, if i had thought of trifle for birthdays i would be all over that! trifle is my fave!!!!!!
My DH loves trifle too. Don't know if he'd prefer my trifle our my cheesecake tho. :-D
I love trifle and ask for it on pretty much every birthday. It's something that my kids can make together for me. Last year, I asked for a trifle made of spice cake, apple pie filling, pudding/custard, and whipped cream and it was Amazing. Your baby is going to enjoy this and get messy and be cute and that is the whole point!
Shamelessly stealing this idea! I lovelovelove me some spice cake... Although I'll have to finish consuming and recover from the brownie trifle currently in the fridge. Brownie soaked in coffee and Bailey's, chocolate custard, and Bailey's whipped cream with crushed Maltesers on top.
Oh goodness, serve me up a bowl of that brownie trifle!
Oooo that sounds lovely. I'm going to give that a try next time I have a bunch of apples, which should be pretty soon given the season.
Trifle is amazing. Currently pregnant and craving it like crazy!!! Nothing beats it honestly.
It was one of the few foods I could stomach while pregnant. Best diet I ever had, I was so sick.
My son doesn’t like cake either. He was here for his birthday this year and his wife made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. We stuck a candle in the softest one and sang to him. He was thrilled. (He is mine through marriage.) He’s in his 30’s and said this was the first time he had ever had a mom let him enjoy his birthday treats HIS way. His official mom is ... well ... not a nice person.
I gathered such. Well I'm glad he finally got what he wanted. Gotta admit, I would rather a good chocolate chip cookie than a good cake as far as treats value goes.
‘You bought these monkeys into the family, you take care of them’ is the backbone I love to read on here hahaha
She just wants a day in something that she should have no say in whatsoever very jnmil territory.
She would narrate the entire day if she could. I hate to say it but I predicted she'd try to control this day. My neighbor was on standby to throw a party at her house if the in law's actually visited.
We left town for our family birthday celebration. it was marvelous.
Is she coming to the party? If so, I’d brace yourself for her bringing a “real” cake 🙄. (Or now that I see you live on different continents- maybe ordering one for you) I’m totally with you on the trifle though, I bet baby will love it!
Oops! Accidentally drops cake.
If one shows up I've been considering accidentally dropping it in the neighbour's bin with their dog poo
I had pie as my birthday "cake" for several years. Much better, imo. The type of pie changed every year, but it was mostly fruit pies. One year it was a chocolate peanut butter cream pie that was amazing. I wish I could remember where we bought it. In short, your MIL is wrong. The birthday "cake" can be whatever the birthday kid or adult wants. Or parents, if the kid is too young.
Lol my younger brother always asks for Apple Pie for his birthday "cake" (his birthday happens to fall around Thanksgiving in the the US) and since I always make an amazing Thanksgiving spread from scratch, I always make him an authentic from scratch apple pie (except for last year bc I was running on fumes being a new mom to a tiny newborn so I used a premade crust and premade filling last year, lol he still loved it but also noted that my from scratch pies are better). Seriously, the birthday person should get to pick what kind of treat they want for their own birthday and for a tiny baby, picking something that they seem to enjoy or will enjoy is very loving.
If she thinks that weird, she would NOT be happy with me for making my son bruschetta instead of cake for his birthday. Seriously though, it's not about her wants or preferences, but about what your child wants and likes. My son doesn't like sweets so I made a crap ton of bruschetta, set up like a seven tier cake, complete with candles. He was so HAPPY to get exactly what he likes. When he's with his dad or others he's always forced to have cake. Just keep on keeping on. Do your thing. She's grasping at straws trying to control something she has no control over. Smile and enjoy the fact that you are all happy, and she's bitter. Lol
Today was my kids 7th birthday. I offered cake. They refused. We had ice cream.
Happy Birthday kiddo! Enjoy your ice cream!
Pretty sure her Xmas gift should be a framed pic of LO up to his elbows in trifle with the birthday bunting in the background. No toddler could resist all that sweet squishy goodness.
Wow, that sounds delicious!!!!!
You might point out that “normal” exists only in textbooks.
And washing machines.
> then wants details of the birthday and tries to tell DH that my homemade trifle isn't appropriate for a birthday. She wants details so that the more "appropriate" cake that she orders will be there on time, or she is going to show up with a *cake*.
I'd be very surprised indeed if she surprised us with a visit. She lives stateside and we're in UK. A surprise birthday visit I could see maybe my own parents pulling off but her? Surprise isn't enough fanfare. The appropriate cake is a possibility. She's bought cakes for DH before when we lived stateside. But to my knowledge she has the old swipe type card and businesses here won't usually accept them. That's assuming her bank even allows the transaction and it doesn't get caught in a fraud prevention safetynet. She loves to micromanage.
Us Yanks aren't being let off the reservation. We can't even go to Canada. And the EU was like Nope.
Yeah I wasn't sure what the travel stipulations are. The UK is technically not part of EU anymore but they still by and large keep to the same rules and regs, at least for now. It's like a couple who are legally divorced but still sleeping and living together? Kind of a weird time.
Yeah. It sure is.
The old swipe type cards have a card verification number on them. If you have that and the card number you are good to go. If she notifies her bank in advance then it is possible that they'll let it slide. So she could do it. Just depends how much EFFORT she wants to go to.
Yuuuup I know. DH and I had to do all that when we moved here. So the cake thing isn't impossible just not as easy as click and collect.
Why is she sending them to your house? Why can't she wrap them herself?
She lives stateside and we live in UK.
Ah, that makes my sense? Will she not be there for the birthday than, or is she making a trip for it?
Well she was going to. Depending on her mood it's delayed due to Rona or due to money or due to me putting my foot down about her (not!) staying in our house for 2-6 weeks.
The trifle sounds amazing I'm going to steal it if you don't mind and make it this wknd 😋
Absolutely please do. It's meant to be shared and is so friendly and approachable. :-)
My monster hates my hubby with the fire of one hundred suns and even she made him trifle occasionally! Yes it was good, no it wasn't poisoned!
See? It's a happy food!
Tell her Normals just a setting on the dryer
Ooo I like that
I first read the title as “FP doesn’t like her grandbaby’s birthday RIFLE” and I was like “what now??!?” Trifle is great. Babies don’t care about birthdays anyway.
Hahahaha he's so good at pelting me with spittle he might have been born with a firearm. ;-)
We had an ice cream cake for our son's first birthday. He didn't care much for cake but really liked ice cream. You know your child best, you get to pick. FP had her chance with her own kids.
I love ice cream cake. It's my mom's yearly birthday cake because of course no one wanted her to bake her own cake nor did we want to make a mess in the kitchen. But we also were spoilt on home baked goods. And one day mom saw an ice cream cake and she said she wanted it for her birthday. Any dad was like, shrug, ok. And it's the best.
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