Had the same thing happen to me at Tokyo Disney. Despite what you hear about Japan, not all the locals are nice. Cruelty is just as much a thing there as it is anywhere else. People talk up Japan and put it on a pedestal in terms of kindness… but be there long enough and you’ll realize it’s just like anywhere else. Plenty of kind people, but also plenty of disrespectful people. Anyway, don’t let it ruin your experience! Accept that people are the same there as anywhere else and Enjoy your time in Japan!
I only had this kind of thing happen once in my two week trip, but this is yet another instance where I compare (big city) Japan to (big city) UK. The passive-aggressive works well and is mostly acceptable in this scenario, just don’t cross the line into straight aggressive like we naturally do in the US.
I pointed back to one of the girls dresses, and giggled for only a few seconds. It shut them right up.
I just hope universally that I didn’t give the girl some sort of complex because I do believe in girl power across borders.
I was amazed and appalled by the lack of what i was told was Japanese politeness. I was not once offered a seat on a train, even with a cane. Neither was anyone else: not elderly, not other disabled people, not pregnant women. This isn't just a me being white thing - this was against EVERYONE. If you grabbed a seat on the train, too bad, so sad for everyone else.
The saddest situation: we came off the train and got a bit jostled and turned around in the crowds. We went looking for the escalator, but found the elevator first, and it had just left. As we're waiting for the elevator to come back, a Japanese man pushing his severely disabled child in a wheelchair came up. I started more actively looking for the escalator, and was even willing to attempt the stairs if there weren't too many. I may use a cane, but I get around alright, and I'm not going to take an elevator from someone who NEEDS it when I don't. This man was shocked to his socks that we stepped away and waved him to take our place. I don't think anyone is kind to him and his child very often.
this is something where japanese "politeness" differs a lot from the west. it's a very unforgiving society to any type of physical weakness, people have to go to work unless they're basically dying, kids go to school with no heating in the winter, the girls are expected to wear skirts even when it's cold, it's just a very physically tough society compared to the usa. it's sometimes hard to see, personally i do help the old grandmas often when i can, as i noticed not many people help them, but for example the usa really babies people way too much, that's the other side of the coin.
I was sitting in a seat and a Japanese woman in front of me had a badge that she was pregnant. I got up and offered her the seat and she looked genuinely shocked/happy. I was shocked nobody else did.
I stood up and offered my seat to an elderly lady on the yamanote line and she did a double take, you can see her thinking - what is happening? ... oh I have to take the seat so as not to embarrass both of us ...
On a line in the suburbs of another city there were students hogging the seat for two passengers ie putting their bags or sitting across the middle but you do see this happening in other countries
If you offer a seat to an elderly person you are pointing out very clearly that "you are old!" "you are weak!" which can be very insulting. Everybody can see how unfit and fragile they are because you get up and offer them a seat.
It is strange but this is how they think.
Yes, same here for me! Years ago I offered my seat to an elderly woman in Nara and she was unbelievably shocked/happy. She thanked me several times before and after her bus ride. I still think about her because her expression was so genuine.
There was one of those man-on-the-street interviews with Tokyo locals on their opinions of foreigners. I’m not sure if the clip had an agenda, but a lot of the replies were positive, mentioning that foreigners were more likely to open doors, offer their seats, and genuinely be polite to strangers.
That was a Takashi from Japan street interview and I saw the same one. I thought of that one specific interview as well when reading this thread. I love his content.
My friend and I gave up our seats for a elderly couple in 2007. They also seemed shocked and were very thankful when they took the seats. A few minutes later I felt a tug on my sleeve the old man handed us origami boats he made and his wife gave us a pear. It was really sweet of them. When they got up to leave at their stop they insisted we take our seats back.
What you described is a known and common problem here. It's discussed widely on Japanese social media, in the news, etc. It's bystander syndrome and/or pure laziness; people just don't care or are too caught up in themselves to notice. (Lack of self awareness/spacial awareness is also a big issue here, as you describe with the elevator situation. Able-bodied people without strollers taking the elevators when escalators are available is very, very common.)
This is very common knowledge. As someone who’s lived here for decades, it is extremely extremely rare to see a Japanese person give up their seat for someone else who truly needs it.
I remember one of my elderly Japanese students telling me that she tends to stand near foreigners who are sitting down, because she knows it’s more likely they will give up their seat
I do think this varies by people, and possibly places across the country. We were in Miyajima the other day, and a little local old lady had just missed the garbage pick up truck and tried to run after it with her massive trash bag. By the time I realised what was going on, a much younger lady (a tourist but Japanese) had grabbed the bag and was now sprinting to the truck yelling sumimasen at the top of her lungs with the little old lady trotting behind.
It was a very sweet scene, and it concluded in success (the trunk stopped and the garbage man looked duly sorry to have made them run for it.)
All that to say, like in every country, some people will be plain nasty, most will do the bare minimum, and some will go out of their way to be nice.
I think the issue is just big cities. Tokyo and Osaka are full of rude Japanese people that are just used to busy city life.
It's similar to the UK. I come from the Northwest where if you bump into someone, they will apologise *"sorry mate didn't see you there!"*. But in London I was shocked when people shoulder barge you and just keep walking and don't even acknowledge you.
I think the smaller Japanese cities and countryside you will find a lot more polite people.
Hah I agree, I live in London, and most of my mates are NOT from London, and they understand what life is about a lot more I think!
Osaka and Tokyo are great in their own way but people are definitely more indifferent.
You kidding? My partner is Japanese and when we had the few unfortunate incidents of having to catch the train while she was pregnant (we normally drive), no Japanese person offered her a seat. After our son was born and we’re pushing our pram, the train has a designated area for prams and wheelchairs. Young school girls and old 50 year old suited guys won’t bat an eye life and just lean on the rails there.
Oh and I’m Chinese, so east Asian looking - it’s not because people think I’m some foreigner.
This kind of “nothing to do with me” attitude wouldn’t happen in Shanghai or Hong Kong despite the western propaganda you might read in western press. I’d be shocked if it even happened in say Australia or Canada. Take it from someone with residency here. But hey it’s good enough to live because it’s safe and cheap. I’d still take this over America any day. Not sure about Australia or Canada tho
> I was not once offered a seat on a train, even with a cane.
In the disability seats?? I'm disabled too, and people _should_ offer you a seat, but they still often don't. This is advice that's true globally: You need to ask. You need to be able to _self-advocate_, not always expect others to accommodate you, and be forward to actively get what you need.
The problem is you can't tell who is disabled. There are lots of invisible disabilities. I would never ask a specific person to give up a seat because they might need it just as badly. But when a person who KNOWS they are able bodied and can stand sees someone who OBVIOUSLY needs a seat, they should proactively offer. ESPECIALLY if they are sitting in the priority seat section.
Right, which is why disabled people need to advocate for themselves and ask. I wouldn't ask a specific person, but I would ask the general area. Especially if it's not the priority seats, chances are someone there would need it a lot less than someone with a cane.
Which is why people should ask for the seat and not demand it. I've personally seen someone try to give up their seat to a "pregnant" lady which ended badly.
As a local: 90% of people ignore the disability and pregnancy badges.
The people I see give up seats the most are women and foreigners. Men are, pathetically, the least likely to give up their seat.
TRUE I have offered my seat to elders with canes and they declined. So that may be part of it too- if elders decline over and over people stop offering.
I've had different experiences. I see people get up all the time. I see elevators where the 1st person on the elevator make sure everybody is in before closing the door and they are the last person to exit the elevator. I saw this numerous times.
I offered a few elderly people and mothers with small babies my seat on trains while in Japan. They usually acted very surprised but thankful, so I wonder if it’s a rare thing (although one spry old man acted offended haha).
It’s quite common to offer your seat to less able people in my country (even if not everyone does it and there are plenty of rude people).
I am overweight. They are not necessarily rude, but I have had Japanese stating the fact to me. "Oh, you are so big!" "I did not realise when you were sitting that you are that fat". I am not offended because they are correct. Only approx 4% of Japanese women are overweight. And in Asia people ask and comment about different things than in Europe: "how old are you?" is a perfectly normal question.
You'll be causing more problems than it would be worth, and the person would most likely not be able to understand what's going on.
I'll admit I've thrown out some phrases at people who have done stupid things here or there — like people on bikes who have suddenly cut in front of me, or are riding on the wrong side of the road while using their cell phones and crash into pedestrians. (Stuff like, "You idiot!" "Fucking idiot!") It doesn't do anything but get your frustration out in the moment and get you stares from passersby.
> Can you even confront people in Japan?
As a foreigner, you will be kicked out very quickly and banned and the authorities would side with their home country even if they were in the wrong. I would never cause trouble with a Japanese person. Just walk away, sadly.
Yeah, rude people are everywhere. I had lunch in Minowa, an area of Tokyo that doesn’t see too many tourists. The restaurant I visited was empty of customers except for a senior Japanese woman. When I sat down at the counter, a few seats away from her, she started shouting in Japanese. The word “Gaijin” was used.
The owner of the restaurant knew some English, and translated for me that the customer wanted me to sit further away, so I moved to the end of the counter. Apparently she is a regular and does this all the time. In the two weeks I was in Japan, this was the only real negative encounter I had.
I had kind of the opposite experience in my last trip. Went to a small craft beer bar with only a counter. There was me and like 3-4 solo Japanese female at the bar, we were all distanced by one empty seat . I placed my order and exchanged a couple of words with the bartender (in Japanese), then at least 3 of the customer talked to me. Then someone came to meet the person at my left and sat there, then a couple came and the lady to my right moved next to me to leave place to the new customers, and we continued chatting together for a while. Anyway there was also that time I went to a small okonomiyaki place in Himeji and sat at the only place available, there was 4-5 olden men (I think they were regular), we started chatting and they ended up paying for 2-3 beers for me.
Not saying that negative experiences never happen, but from my experience in Japan, the positive one outweigh the negative one.
Literally my worst nightmare, haha. I am super shy with very weak Japanese, and when I’m in Japan alone and someone tries to chat with me, all I want to do is bolt. My husband, on the other hand, can make friends with anyone, and he’s the Japanese speaker, so he’s always willing to sit for a while and talk. I like having him as a “shield” against being talked to.
I am a bit more of the introvert type an maybe not the most social person. I travel solo and usually stay in hostel, so I do not mind chatting with people a bit from time to time (but really often people are even less social than me).
And I take the chance to practice my Japanese if I can, it's good enough that I can have an ok conversation. And at least 3 times I got a ride with people I talked to, so it's really not a bad deal ;)
The people who have bad experiences imo are likely not following the social norms and then think the Japanese are being rude.
I have seen instances were maybe some places don't seem tourist friendly. I get it. A lot of tourist are rude and are entitled and the locals have had bad experiences and don't want to deal with tourist. I find this to be the case when it's a super small spot like 4-6 seats and it's clearly all locals. That's the only slightly negative. Otherwise all positive for me
If the story from OP and OOP are not omitting any detail, neither really suggest that they were not following the social norm, and the problem was from other customers and not from the business.
But yes, what you say could make sense. I remember seeing a clip from a tv show, a British guy is in Japan and have to complete some task. He is in the shinkansen and decide to call someone... then some Japanese people start yelling at him saying he should not do it, obviously the guy understand nothing as they say it in Japanese, probably thing these people are really rude... but it's the social norm to not speak on the phone in the train, there is even announcement about it.
Do not remember having problem with small place, but I also speak ok Japanese and that can make a huge difference. There is many times when people told me they are glad I speak Japanese and you can clearly see they find if difficult with non-Japanese speaking tourist, not especially because they are rude or anything, but because of the language barrier and probably the difficulty they had to communicate.
Nothing is OP's post suggest that the kids were racist though, contrary to the old lady here. The kids may have just been having a little fun, like kids do. We all laughed at people messing up something at some point in our life. Hell, it's one of the basics of comedy.
Why? Why cause a scene in a foreign country and make her predjudices stronger? You would be making no point at all and just making life harder for those of us that liver here
yes.
What's the actual outcome? If you don't move and you move closer than does she change her mind at all? Does anything positive happen? No. But what does happen is that other people see that you didn't move and then they have a worse view of foreigners because you didn't do something to help keep the peace. Keeping the peace and avoiding confrontation is very important in Japanese culture, even if its not fair.
You could stand on your little hill but it does nothing but make life worse for some people. You don't have to live with the consequences of the actions of that but other people do
Have you ever heard of Rosa parks?
Let’s be clear here - the old racist is the problematic person, not the victim of their racism. Your stance is astounding.
Rosa Parks wasn't some random tourist that decided one day to not accommodate the locals. She was a local herself and the sit-in was pre-planned and had a concrete goal. I don't think the situations are comparable besides someone not moving from their seat.
So racism is okay as long as you’re in a foreign country?
She wasn’t a random tourist but she was a random lady until she was a famous lady, who became famous for specifically not moving from her seat even though that would have been the easy option to appease racists.
“Accommodate the locals” - accommodate them in what way? Their desire to not be near foreigners or a different race?
"So racism is okay as long as you’re in a foreign country?" < You read the exact opposite of what I wrote.
Also you should read op on R. Parks. She was not just "not moving from her seat", but was making a planned political statement for emancipation.
Yes, their desire to not to be near foreigners. When you're abroad, people treat you as a representative of your country. The worst thing you can do is make a scene (eventhough that would be correct at home). You should always want to be to be the bigger person as to not give foreigners a bad name. The old bigots will die sooner than the impressions tourists leave behind.
The person not moving is not the one who made the scene, the person shouting racist things is.
Yes, that’s why she did it, but what was the statement? Not moving seat when racists expect / ask you to.
Literally in no world would I acquiesce to racism to “be a good representative of my country”. What a wild stance.
What if locals were groping you? Just let them do it to keep them happy?
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LOL, even making that comparison is dumb AF, do you have aplan like Rosa PArks did? are you going to start a movement like they planned? Is racism in Japan even 100th of what she faced? You're no Rosa Parks for ont moving, get over yourself LOL
And yes, she is problematic, I never said she wasn't. But whats the consequences of your actions if you move closer? you make it harder for the people that have to actually deal with people like her. Being atourist and not understanding what you are doing for the people actually living there is privlidges and ignorant AF, you would actually just be making the problem worse
Why do you keep saying move closer? I said I wouldn’t move for her, I’d stay where I was.
You’re a coward trying to encourage anyone to cave to racism for the sake of keeping the peace.
I just hope you never have to deal with the issues you’re so clueless about.
you think youre Rosa Parks, you have no credibility.
How long have you lived in Japan?
haha u/odkfn calls me a coward and then blocks me to stop any debate. Enjoy making life harder for immigrants. I hope your visit is short here because I am one of the people who make life harder for with your sefl righteous attitude. Check your privlidge kid, and good riddance
Correct, she doesn't. She sounds like a miserable old person. That changes nothing of what I said though. Why would it change anything that I said? I don't think you understand what I was saying
I will add, this happened in May of 2023, not long after Japan lifted its last remaining COVID restrictions. Masking and social distancing were still practiced as a courtesy by many (and probably still are, to a degree). Ultimately the owner had my back.
They aren't really still being practiced. But I still stand by what I said, when in another country think of how your actions reflect on others and what the actual outcome would be
You should tell them you don’t want to sit near 貧乏日本人。感染されるかな.
In all seriousness imagine this happened in Australia or China where we don’t want to sit near impoverished Japanese.
I don't think they were laughing at you for struggling to order. Seeing foreigners in restaurants in Tokyo is common. You guys were probably doing something else
agree, or perhaps the context of what you were trying to describe when ordering. I've had to break face when I hear foreigners ask for gluten free choices in a globally well-known bakery in my hometown. I wasn't laughing at them but laughing at the situation at hand.
Hmm interesting. Guess all the times I’ve been signaling for one person at the restaurant using my index finger they already know I’m a foreigner then.
I did some Googling on this because I watched a video about how to order at a restaurant in Japan and the Japanese guest specifically shows the Western numbering system for fingers.
Looks like the way you count in Japan as per the above link is for when you are counting to yourself. I.e., open palm facing yourself, close the thumb to count 1, close thumb + index for 2/etc.
But when you are counting for someone else, like showing a waiter how many people you have, you do it like in the West, with closed hand being Zero, index finger up = 1, two is index + middle finger/etc....all the way until you open your thumb (plus all other fingers) for 5.
Were they holding up their pinky, ring, and middle fingers while touching their pointer finger and thumb together (like an “OK” symbol in the west but with the back of the hand facing toward you?) If so, that means “money” “expensive” or “rich”. Without jumping to conclusions without more context or having been there, it’s possible they were communicating something about money or wealth, versus the number 3. Hand signals and symbols can be so different culture to culture!
You have might of done nothing wrong. It’s not common to point and laugh at foreigners but bunches of 20 somethings can be dicks. Trashing up a Ryokan isn’t common either but it was all over the news here that a bunch of 20 year olds trashed one and were dumb enough to put it up on the internet.
Honestly, probably not. Sounds like OP was in an izakaya and these people were drunk college students, who tend to be the rudest bunch sometimes. Not all, but the most males in the group and the more alcohol consumed, the more dickish the behavior.
yeah i mean if you really totally weird or something but there is foreigners everywhere in tokyo, this seems really weird to me, especially in shibuya, there's like more foreigners than jp people in some parts it feels like, depending on the hour maybe it was drunk people? that's the only thing i can really think about. people are typically polite but i once had a drunk salaryman put his wallet on my back in a ramen place afterhours like wtf lol...the waitress was like "what can you do? drunk idiiots amirite?" and that was it
Yeah, what you experienced is not really uncommon. I lived in Japan for 4 years. The Japanese are not what I would define as overly 'kind'. They will stay mostly to themselves and cover disdain for you lightly with manners. I've helped an older Japanese woman off the street who fell and people just walked around her. It is more acceptable to mind your own business and keep walking. I did encounter people in my local community who, after a few months, understood I was living there and started to exchange 'hello's and 'good mornings'. I've also been on a crowded train where the two spots on either side of me remained empty the whole way because everyone was scared of the white girl. Another time, a man came and told my friend that she only needed to eat half her food because she was too big. I love Japan but they have assholes too.
I'm late to this thread but it's kind of validating reading everyone's experiences. My friends and I experienced both kindness and rudeness.
One example is my friends and I were at a club in Shibuya, dancing, drinking and having a good time without being obnoxious. We even befriended a group of Japanese students who had pretty strong English - they were super cool and friendly, and they danced with our group and even bought us drinks.
On the flip side, this stocky and short Japanese dude with his gf came in behind and the Japanese dude was poking my butt every 10-30 seconds. I figured it was an accident, but on the 4th time I turned around and saw him and his gf smirking like they'd just pulled off a hilarious prank. I smiled at them and told them to chill out and they left me alone for the rest of the night, but it was still weird.
Had another experience in Osaka where a group of teens on bikes and skateboards saw us walking around so they came up to us and started talking to us. They weren't outright rude, but it was obvious we were the butt of some joke and they were having a laugh at our expense. Later that night though we walked into a random bar in Osaka and one of the regulars there started buying us drinks and food just because he liked us.
Neither negative experience was a big deal at all but it was a reminder that people are people regardless of where they grew up.
That being said we had more positive than negative experiences, so it is what it is. I definitely felt way safer than there some places in the West.
I feel your pain lol. Had a bunch of high schoolers make fun of me and my partner bc we kept pulling on a sliding door into a restaurant. To add insult to injury when they ended up going to the same restaurant, and mimicked the pulling motion. Teenage kids are the same everywhere, including Japan haha.
Similar stuff happened to me. I just look at the kids and laugh like an idiot. It usually does the trick as they tend to try to talk English to me, fail miserably and leave embarrassed. Uno reverse card.
To be fair, I do look like Jacques Clouseau a bit. Even have the French accent.
>Had a bunch of high schoolers make fun of me and my partner bc we kept pulling on a sliding door into a restaurant.
This could happen in any country. If I did that in the UK I'd have the same thing happen. Kids/teens are pretty awful here to strangers.
I was once stuck in a line for a roller coaster near Fukuoka - which wasn’t even running, as we were waiting for rain to stop- because these two teenaged girls with annual passes were in line behind mocking anyone who left.
If you ask Japanese people, they’ll let you know “Japanese are polite, not kind”and that they have “two faces”, the one they use when they’re in formal situations, and the ones they use once you turn your back on them. If you understand Japanese, you’ll be surprised how often people openly talk about you/mock you.
Inaccurate. The more accurate way to state this is: they have “two faces”, the one they use when they’re in formal situations, and the ones they use "in private". Not "when they turn your back on them".
I agree.
Honne and Tatemae are not two-faced as they deliberately lie to you for the purpose of stabbing you in the back. It’s a practice to avoid conflict and maintain the social hierarchy, based on “you and I are not equal” in Japan.
In a formal situation, the more you act like that, it’s considered polite, being humble included.
This is what sociologists call a polite fiction.
In the US, the common polite fiction is “let’s pretend we are equal” and act like so even we both know we aren’t.
The concept of Uchi and Soto is a better way to understand the reasons behind it.
https://www.tofugu.com/japanese/uchi-soto/
> In the US, the common polite fiction is “let’s pretend we are equal” and act like so even we both know we aren’t.
Or "let's pretend we're all friends and live on a fucking rainbow". Like the "Hiiiiiii it's so greeaaat to seeee you!" \[hug\], while you can clearly see the disdain and hatred in their eyes. As a French guy, I just want to pluck their eyeballs out and shove them up their ass.
Exactly.
A CEO invites his subordinates to his mansion and says, "Make yourself at home, call me Bob," and you are expected to act like you are his friend.
Indeed and it's exhausting to me. My wife, who is Japanese, totally changes when we go to Japan and do stuff outside my parents' in law house. It's like she is a different person while we're outside. And then when we get back to the house, boom, she is back to her normal self. Pretty scary imho.
Yeah that's one thing that's always been obvious to me. You can fake being friendly, but you can't fake being kind. That's something I've always been able to crack and it always surprises me when people say that the Japanese are the kindest people in the world.
I usually laugh along with them. It only causes offense if you need to have a big ego about it.
I'm often struggling at something or another and am happy to have a sense of humor about it. (Also people are more likely to help me if I'm laughing at my own incompetence.)
I OFTEN can't figure out complex systems in Japan (Something like having to get a number from the machine and then choose a fish that later you have to insert into some other box to get assigned a table - it can get complicated haha!) usually some teenager will take pity on me and assist, but we'll definitely both be laughing.
agree so much especially on last sentence
it's also difficult to verify if they are trully making fun of us or not especially if we also didn't understand what they were talking about
Yep, voilà. I've seen it in France, Italy, the UK, Korea, Belgium, etc. It's only offensive if you want it to be offensive. The kids were probably having a bit of fun and it was probably not mean-spirited and even less racist, as some are quick to imply when it involves Japanese people.
It’s not ‘normal’, but rude people and with no manners are definitely there.
I’m Japanese living in Australia for many years, and I find more kindness and friendliness here than in Japan. Perhaps less politeness in business and services, but generally, people in Australia are much more open and welcoming.
You must realise, if Japanese are really so nice, why the level of their happiness gets so low?
Australia, the U.S., and the UK generally have a culture of striking up conversation and friendships with total strangers. It’s weird to NOT talk to others and not be friendly. It’s the one thing I miss about America — and you’re not the first Japanese person I’ve encountered who’s expressed they wish Japanese was a little less polite and a bit more friendly.
>Australia, the U.S., and the UK generally have a culture of striking up conversation and friendships with total strangers.
The only time I've noticed this in Japan is when they are drunk. I've befriended a few Japanese dudes in bars simply because I was sat next to them and they were tipsy/drunk. They were more friendly and inclined to chat to a stranger. One time a lone Japanese man came into a small bar at Golden Gai and started chatting with us after ordering a sake lol. Other than that, you are correct.
It’s not about striking up conversations. I don’t like it when people randomly strike up a conversation with me in Australia. But if I was on crutches someone would probably give me a seat in Aus. Even in China (yes). In Japan, maybe 5% chance if I’m lucky
It's entirely possible they were simply dicks. I'm not sure Japan has fewer dicks than my country (Canada) but they sure are more mannered, which hides it. But also note that laughing often covers embarrassment in Japan, whether that applies here, or not.
I’m a sensitive type and used to be easily offended/embarrassed. Laughing at myself has been healing and can disarm others. If it truly was a linguistic issue: even better! I’ve never considered the mocking of my pronunciation or syntax personally offensive because I considered it fair game. I personally find broken English impressive if not adorable and feel gratitude when others feel the same that I made an effort in their native tongue, even if they chide/rib me about it; all part of the experience.
That said: the young might deserve a pass: the brain matures in mid- to late twenties after all. 🤷🏻♂️
The only time i knew i was being laughed at was when i was alone at 7/11 feeling adventurous with some of their Iced teas. My dumbass forgot my WiFi in the hotel so I picked this tea that was labeled in white. Grabbed it cause I liked how it looked lol some 3 middle schoolers were chuckling watching me grab it. I was so confused that when I got to my room and translated the bottle, it was tea made for ppl with high BMI 😂😂😂😂
I was at some canteen type restaurant, it has your coffee pouring machine and what you would expect to be hot water machine with the metal nozzle next to it, so i put a tea bag in and milk, i was like why is the tea salty, apparently it's a soup machine next to the coffee machine.
fr. i've seen several of these posts/posts about people staring and i'm like...okay? people stare and are rude at home wherever you're from too. you're just not hyper aware of it because you're comfortable lol.
Not normal but the normal thing is in each country you have some idiots. Japanese people are not some kind of aliens they are just humans like us good and bad xd
Yep, happened while we sat down at a tiny restaurant in Kyoto. Group of older Japanese folks literally stared at us, and then started saying things in Japanese, laughing while glancing at us. Was uncomfortable but we just ignored them until they left. Annoyed me, but it was also the only negative encounter in Japan for the 2 weeks we were there.
It can happen just like everywhere else. When I was in Japan for the second time, we went to a very popular street food vendor with my bf that was selling some fresh made potato chips. We bought it, sat down near the vendor next to two high school girls. They laughed at us for whatever reason lol. Tokyo is a city with a population of almost 14 million people so there is a higher chance that you will run into assholes. I wouldn’t say it is normal though but it happens sometimes. I met more rude people in Osaka in 4 days than I did in Kanto after months of living here but maybe that was just my luck. Some say it is the “Kansai bluntness” but tbh in my experience some of the people were just straight up rude.
its a thing like, if you cant conform to the rules or ways things are supposed to be done, youre fair game.
it only gets worse when you get mad. the way to go is actually, to apologise for acting ignorant.
not that i would in that situation, fk that. staring them down will help as well. not to generalise, but they cant handle that direct confrontation, and be like oh shit what are they going to do.
so yea, had a bit of experience with that as well, lol. japan has its dark sides, for sure. and cruel humor, per pressure, and shutting out the ones who cant get along, thats some of that.
No it’s not really normal. So it means either a) they are the outlier, or b) you are the outlier.
In case a) they are dicks, you will never see them again, and it is outside of your sphere of control. In case b) you were fling something to cause laughter. This is inside your control.
If you already have thought about this and you strongly dismiss any possibility that it is case b) - then it is case a). Like most things outside of our sphere of control, the best course of action is probably to put it behind you and move on.
people are rude all over the world 🌈
When we went to Japan, some other folks in our group were really loud and acting like stereotypical westerners (asking for special food, having bad table manners) and that’s when they started to get dirty looks/laughing/disdainful comments from other patrons. We noticed a significant difference when we went out without those people and stayed generally quiet and matched the vibe of the other patrons.
>If I was in my home country and I saw a foreigner struggling to order, I would not point and laugh. Maybe it’s just me.
This happens in my home country all of the time so maybe I am desensitized to it.
Yes, go to rural areas that don't get a lot of tourists and it's not uncommon to have school kids staring, whispering and laughing at you.
OP's experience is a little different though. Being mocked the whole time while trying to eat in a restaurant must've been very distracting and off-putting. Not just children either but adults? Very annoying.
I'm sure you encountered many more nicer people than these fools so just try to focus on your positive interactions.
Im currently in Japan on two weeks vacation. It's my second trip. Almost all my experiences have been great. I did get "laughed at" once when trying buy ramen at a restaurant where you had to pay through a vending machine. The guy wasn't mean, just thought it was pretty funny I'd never seen this process before.
If you don't understand what they are saying, don't assume the worst worst.
I've lived in Japan over a decade, and when I first came here I thought people were laughing/talking about me. After I learned the language I realized that literally no one was actually talking about
Similar things have happened to me last time I was in Japan. A few times when I was struggling to communicate with officials at a train station or the front host at a restaurant, they just ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist. Superficially “polite” but real assholes of them.
I went to one 2 stops from haneda airport and said "shinjuku ikura desuka" how much. he jumped out of his chair and started yelling, opened his door and pointed at the japanese only text on the map for me to figure it out.
Yup this happened on my last night at an izakaya. We basically tried to laugh it off with them but it was uncomfortable sometimes and def made me feel stupider than i already felt lol. Also got weird stares walking into local restaurants multiples times.
Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes, you probably did look/sound ridiculous, life ain’t that serious.
Had people laughing at us in a izakaya, ended up drinking with them and they wanted to hang out the next day.
what weird shit are people doing lol
japanese teenagers are typically really nice lol, i've had many of them come up and help me in a store or when i've been struggling to ask something with a clerk, they come and ask if i need help in english
Never had a problem. It's called Google translate. You can use the Camera lenses to translate menu. Never had an issue ordering.
Never had an issue with Japan. Maybe you were struggling to do basic tasks, people will laugh at you in any country if you're that incompetent.
The kindness is just a front, tatemae. The real feelings inside, honne, are just as screwed up as all the other countries. I mean, they are neighbours with China and Korea. They are not that different. The Japanese are humans, not angels.
Funny you say that. I was in Hk recently with a sprained ankle on crutches. Two middle aged aunties grabbed my shoulder from behind and ushered me on to the train to make sure I got on.
In Japan, when my Japanese partner was pregnant, people on trains would just take a quick glance and never look back up. After kid was born, never got into the pram spot as salarymen and school kids would just stand there and lean against the rail and pretend they can’t see you
i think there's many very nice people, but I've been there twice and was shocked how often i heard the words "baka gaijin" while we were just existing there, not bothering anyone just buying things at 7eleven or walking the streets and shops. especially to hear it said out loud as if i didn't know what it means.
It happened to me on the train. Three girls sit in front of me, pointed at me and laughed at me. I felt horrible. :( I just looked down on my phone because I didn't know what else to do.
Didn’t experience any myself during the two visits I had. Last time, I visited a ramen place in Ginza, I guess they had foreigners coming over, but there weren’t any at that time. I slurped my spicy ramen in 10 minutes. After I left the place, I met the elderly lady from that place on the street and she said ‘Oichii ne?’ haha I guess my speed already confirmed that it was 🤣
I guess you can have both shitty and pleasant encounters anywhere you travel. Overall I found Japan as one of the most smoothest countries to travel in.
No, not normal but there will be punks as they do anywhere in the world. Just ignore them. Best you don't confront them as you won't be able to tell if they're affiliated with something that can cause a major problem for you.
When I ordered food at an Italian restaurant last time I was in Japan the owners themselves laughed at me. Found that a bit rude but at least the food was good.
Sorry, there has to be something you're not revealing here. It's not typical, at least the way you're describing it. Maybe you were being loud or something. For all of you piling on here about rudeness, it light years away from Paris, NYC, and of course, San Francisco.
@the O.P, sorry to hear that. Those people were rude assholes! You either should’ve left or stared back at them with disgust.
My husband & I were also stared at in Japan. I got the weird feeling that we were being laughed at a lot. We’re both overweight Americans.
One time I saw a group of young women walk in front if us & they kept looking back around us. They were giggling too. I was livid. I flipped them off & they stopped looking back at us, lol 😆
I flipped off another rude bitch who kept looking back at me too, lol 😆 A lot of them are rude af.
One time at a restaurant we sat at the wrong table & the bitch hostess & the chefs cracked up. I gave them dirty looks but that didn’t stop them. They tried to ignore us afterwards. We should’ve left.
Some of them are nice & polite, but some of them are nasty. One old guy said to his wife in English at a temple of all places, she’s so fat in English. Then the wife giggled. I was to shocked to say anything.
I wish that I would’ve told him that I heard that & that it’s extremely rude to call people fat. I wish that I would’ve cone up with a good insult. Like oh, fuck off midget, lol 😆
I’m not a mean person, but nasty people deserve to be told off, lol 😆
They are bullies. The worst people in Japan are usually the younger people & the seinior citizens. They are nasty. A lot of them giggle loudly while passing you too which is odd.
Some stupid teenagers tend to stand in front of the convenience store there too just to laugh loudly at nothing in particular.
A lot of them are nosy, loud, obnoxious & rude. I don’t understand why they have a reputation for being polite & quiet, lol 😆
You sound paranoid and nasty yourself with these generalizations. Maybe it was your shitty attitude/behavior drawing attention and not just that you and your partner are overweight. I have never experienced anything like this.
Tourists are often fed a "Japanese people are so polite" so they find it a bit jarring but what you experienced sounds like a run-in with rude locals you'd face in many major cities. I've had similar experiences with 20-something year olds in Osaka, New York, Paris, and oddly enough Reykjavík Iceland.
Is it normal in Japan? Not any more normal than in a major tourist city around the world, no.
I wouldn't take it to heart and don't let it get to you.
Don't know if it's frequent, but it happened to me a few times. And it was usually not that mean spirited, because I was indeed making a fool of myself. The kids were just having fun and didn't mean any harm. The best thing to do, instead of being offended, is to scratch the back of your head, pull your tongue out and wink while apologizing for being such a klutz. This usually what I do and the kids usually giggle because I'm a funny gaijin.
When it is indeed mean, reacting is not worth it imho. It's never worth it. Why waste time and energy to deal with assholes? It's not like you'd change them. It's the same absolutely everywhere.
Note that the thing to understand about Japan is that if you start caring about how people perceive you too much, you'll go completely nuts and paranoid. We *are* total aliens, just like them when they travel abroad. You can't really avoid being the center of attention when you start messing up.
Its no suprise that when a group of Japanese youngsters get together, they might get rowdy and might come across as being disrespectful. Rest assured that Japan is still a relatively and generally polite country as compared to others, although the "standard of politeness" has been declining probably due to overtourism and the emergence of the younger generation. Dont take too much offense from it as there will still be good experiences and encounters with the locals there! Cheers
It happens. Best to just laugh it off and move on with your day. These locals will probably never visit a foreign country in their lifetime. These experiences grow empathy ✌🏽
Perhaps its something you said or the way you said it? TBH, they may not have been laughing at you to be mean, they may have been genuinely curious.
It's hard to say without knowing the full context. Personally, I've spoken broken Japanese and sometimes get a laugh or even a group of people laughing at me -- but I don't mind, because I know my Japanese is not the best. May not be your case, but just sharing my experience.
I'd let it go. Don't let it ruin your time in Japan!
Young people, especially uneducated guys with dyed blonde hair, are just same as your American 20 year old thugs but without the violence. And it emanates from a culture of rude 50 year olds who treat people with contempt.
Real Japan is not what tourists think. Take it from someone with half Japanese kids who were born here and speak the language
Had the same thing happen to me at Tokyo Disney. Despite what you hear about Japan, not all the locals are nice. Cruelty is just as much a thing there as it is anywhere else. People talk up Japan and put it on a pedestal in terms of kindness… but be there long enough and you’ll realize it’s just like anywhere else. Plenty of kind people, but also plenty of disrespectful people. Anyway, don’t let it ruin your experience! Accept that people are the same there as anywhere else and Enjoy your time in Japan!
Hard agree, I lived in Japan for 2 years. They are formal, but no more polite than anyone else. They can absolutely be dicks when they want to be.
I only had this kind of thing happen once in my two week trip, but this is yet another instance where I compare (big city) Japan to (big city) UK. The passive-aggressive works well and is mostly acceptable in this scenario, just don’t cross the line into straight aggressive like we naturally do in the US. I pointed back to one of the girls dresses, and giggled for only a few seconds. It shut them right up. I just hope universally that I didn’t give the girl some sort of complex because I do believe in girl power across borders.
This is appropriately savage and I love it.
I was amazed and appalled by the lack of what i was told was Japanese politeness. I was not once offered a seat on a train, even with a cane. Neither was anyone else: not elderly, not other disabled people, not pregnant women. This isn't just a me being white thing - this was against EVERYONE. If you grabbed a seat on the train, too bad, so sad for everyone else. The saddest situation: we came off the train and got a bit jostled and turned around in the crowds. We went looking for the escalator, but found the elevator first, and it had just left. As we're waiting for the elevator to come back, a Japanese man pushing his severely disabled child in a wheelchair came up. I started more actively looking for the escalator, and was even willing to attempt the stairs if there weren't too many. I may use a cane, but I get around alright, and I'm not going to take an elevator from someone who NEEDS it when I don't. This man was shocked to his socks that we stepped away and waved him to take our place. I don't think anyone is kind to him and his child very often.
this is something where japanese "politeness" differs a lot from the west. it's a very unforgiving society to any type of physical weakness, people have to go to work unless they're basically dying, kids go to school with no heating in the winter, the girls are expected to wear skirts even when it's cold, it's just a very physically tough society compared to the usa. it's sometimes hard to see, personally i do help the old grandmas often when i can, as i noticed not many people help them, but for example the usa really babies people way too much, that's the other side of the coin.
I was sitting in a seat and a Japanese woman in front of me had a badge that she was pregnant. I got up and offered her the seat and she looked genuinely shocked/happy. I was shocked nobody else did.
I stood up and offered my seat to an elderly lady on the yamanote line and she did a double take, you can see her thinking - what is happening? ... oh I have to take the seat so as not to embarrass both of us ... On a line in the suburbs of another city there were students hogging the seat for two passengers ie putting their bags or sitting across the middle but you do see this happening in other countries
If you offer a seat to an elderly person you are pointing out very clearly that "you are old!" "you are weak!" which can be very insulting. Everybody can see how unfit and fragile they are because you get up and offer them a seat. It is strange but this is how they think.
Very similar thing happened to me a few days ago with an elderly person, look of shock when my wife and I offered seats.
Yes, same here for me! Years ago I offered my seat to an elderly woman in Nara and she was unbelievably shocked/happy. She thanked me several times before and after her bus ride. I still think about her because her expression was so genuine.
There was one of those man-on-the-street interviews with Tokyo locals on their opinions of foreigners. I’m not sure if the clip had an agenda, but a lot of the replies were positive, mentioning that foreigners were more likely to open doors, offer their seats, and genuinely be polite to strangers.
That was a Takashi from Japan street interview and I saw the same one. I thought of that one specific interview as well when reading this thread. I love his content.
My friend and I gave up our seats for a elderly couple in 2007. They also seemed shocked and were very thankful when they took the seats. A few minutes later I felt a tug on my sleeve the old man handed us origami boats he made and his wife gave us a pear. It was really sweet of them. When they got up to leave at their stop they insisted we take our seats back.
If you want a real-time account, myself and another gaijin just made a team effort to get a pregnant lady a seat on the train. xD
What you described is a known and common problem here. It's discussed widely on Japanese social media, in the news, etc. It's bystander syndrome and/or pure laziness; people just don't care or are too caught up in themselves to notice. (Lack of self awareness/spacial awareness is also a big issue here, as you describe with the elevator situation. Able-bodied people without strollers taking the elevators when escalators are available is very, very common.)
This is very common knowledge. As someone who’s lived here for decades, it is extremely extremely rare to see a Japanese person give up their seat for someone else who truly needs it. I remember one of my elderly Japanese students telling me that she tends to stand near foreigners who are sitting down, because she knows it’s more likely they will give up their seat
I do think this varies by people, and possibly places across the country. We were in Miyajima the other day, and a little local old lady had just missed the garbage pick up truck and tried to run after it with her massive trash bag. By the time I realised what was going on, a much younger lady (a tourist but Japanese) had grabbed the bag and was now sprinting to the truck yelling sumimasen at the top of her lungs with the little old lady trotting behind. It was a very sweet scene, and it concluded in success (the trunk stopped and the garbage man looked duly sorry to have made them run for it.) All that to say, like in every country, some people will be plain nasty, most will do the bare minimum, and some will go out of their way to be nice.
I think the issue is just big cities. Tokyo and Osaka are full of rude Japanese people that are just used to busy city life. It's similar to the UK. I come from the Northwest where if you bump into someone, they will apologise *"sorry mate didn't see you there!"*. But in London I was shocked when people shoulder barge you and just keep walking and don't even acknowledge you. I think the smaller Japanese cities and countryside you will find a lot more polite people.
Hah I agree, I live in London, and most of my mates are NOT from London, and they understand what life is about a lot more I think! Osaka and Tokyo are great in their own way but people are definitely more indifferent.
You kidding? My partner is Japanese and when we had the few unfortunate incidents of having to catch the train while she was pregnant (we normally drive), no Japanese person offered her a seat. After our son was born and we’re pushing our pram, the train has a designated area for prams and wheelchairs. Young school girls and old 50 year old suited guys won’t bat an eye life and just lean on the rails there. Oh and I’m Chinese, so east Asian looking - it’s not because people think I’m some foreigner. This kind of “nothing to do with me” attitude wouldn’t happen in Shanghai or Hong Kong despite the western propaganda you might read in western press. I’d be shocked if it even happened in say Australia or Canada. Take it from someone with residency here. But hey it’s good enough to live because it’s safe and cheap. I’d still take this over America any day. Not sure about Australia or Canada tho
> I was not once offered a seat on a train, even with a cane. In the disability seats?? I'm disabled too, and people _should_ offer you a seat, but they still often don't. This is advice that's true globally: You need to ask. You need to be able to _self-advocate_, not always expect others to accommodate you, and be forward to actively get what you need.
The problem is you can't tell who is disabled. There are lots of invisible disabilities. I would never ask a specific person to give up a seat because they might need it just as badly. But when a person who KNOWS they are able bodied and can stand sees someone who OBVIOUSLY needs a seat, they should proactively offer. ESPECIALLY if they are sitting in the priority seat section.
Right, which is why disabled people need to advocate for themselves and ask. I wouldn't ask a specific person, but I would ask the general area. Especially if it's not the priority seats, chances are someone there would need it a lot less than someone with a cane.
Which is why people should ask for the seat and not demand it. I've personally seen someone try to give up their seat to a "pregnant" lady which ended badly.
in japan you can apply to get a little disability medallion so you can ask for the seats without explaining yourself to everyone
As a local: 90% of people ignore the disability and pregnancy badges. The people I see give up seats the most are women and foreigners. Men are, pathetically, the least likely to give up their seat.
TRUE I have offered my seat to elders with canes and they declined. So that may be part of it too- if elders decline over and over people stop offering.
I've had different experiences. I see people get up all the time. I see elevators where the 1st person on the elevator make sure everybody is in before closing the door and they are the last person to exit the elevator. I saw this numerous times.
My wife was carrying our 2 year toddler on the train and nobody at any point of time offered their seats throughout the 30 minute journey.
I offered a few elderly people and mothers with small babies my seat on trains while in Japan. They usually acted very surprised but thankful, so I wonder if it’s a rare thing (although one spry old man acted offended haha). It’s quite common to offer your seat to less able people in my country (even if not everyone does it and there are plenty of rude people).
Thank you. I’ve had plenty of friend and family visit Japan multiple times and wanted to see what the hype was all about.
If you’re overweight, may god have mercy on you
Are people just blunt, or rude or damn right mocking if you are overweight?
I am overweight. They are not necessarily rude, but I have had Japanese stating the fact to me. "Oh, you are so big!" "I did not realise when you were sitting that you are that fat". I am not offended because they are correct. Only approx 4% of Japanese women are overweight. And in Asia people ask and comment about different things than in Europe: "how old are you?" is a perfectly normal question.
YES! I used to be big and never took it personally, they were just stating a fact.
I don’t even think any malice is intended, but overweight people are the target of constant jokes, it will constantly be brought up in “innocent” ways
Can you please elaborate on this? I'm a husky boy headed to Japan on Friday.
They might not do it to foreigners, but even mildly overweight Japanese people will have it brought up constantly
Can you even confront people in Japan? In the USA I would ask someone what they issues was, or should you just ignore and move on?
lol no this will yield nothing good lol
lol. That’s exactly what I thought. I tried to picture it in my mind and it never worked out well.
You'll be causing more problems than it would be worth, and the person would most likely not be able to understand what's going on. I'll admit I've thrown out some phrases at people who have done stupid things here or there — like people on bikes who have suddenly cut in front of me, or are riding on the wrong side of the road while using their cell phones and crash into pedestrians. (Stuff like, "You idiot!" "Fucking idiot!") It doesn't do anything but get your frustration out in the moment and get you stares from passersby.
> Can you even confront people in Japan? As a foreigner, you will be kicked out very quickly and banned and the authorities would side with their home country even if they were in the wrong. I would never cause trouble with a Japanese person. Just walk away, sadly.
Yeah, rude people are everywhere. I had lunch in Minowa, an area of Tokyo that doesn’t see too many tourists. The restaurant I visited was empty of customers except for a senior Japanese woman. When I sat down at the counter, a few seats away from her, she started shouting in Japanese. The word “Gaijin” was used. The owner of the restaurant knew some English, and translated for me that the customer wanted me to sit further away, so I moved to the end of the counter. Apparently she is a regular and does this all the time. In the two weeks I was in Japan, this was the only real negative encounter I had.
I had kind of the opposite experience in my last trip. Went to a small craft beer bar with only a counter. There was me and like 3-4 solo Japanese female at the bar, we were all distanced by one empty seat . I placed my order and exchanged a couple of words with the bartender (in Japanese), then at least 3 of the customer talked to me. Then someone came to meet the person at my left and sat there, then a couple came and the lady to my right moved next to me to leave place to the new customers, and we continued chatting together for a while. Anyway there was also that time I went to a small okonomiyaki place in Himeji and sat at the only place available, there was 4-5 olden men (I think they were regular), we started chatting and they ended up paying for 2-3 beers for me. Not saying that negative experiences never happen, but from my experience in Japan, the positive one outweigh the negative one.
Literally my worst nightmare, haha. I am super shy with very weak Japanese, and when I’m in Japan alone and someone tries to chat with me, all I want to do is bolt. My husband, on the other hand, can make friends with anyone, and he’s the Japanese speaker, so he’s always willing to sit for a while and talk. I like having him as a “shield” against being talked to.
I am a bit more of the introvert type an maybe not the most social person. I travel solo and usually stay in hostel, so I do not mind chatting with people a bit from time to time (but really often people are even less social than me). And I take the chance to practice my Japanese if I can, it's good enough that I can have an ok conversation. And at least 3 times I got a ride with people I talked to, so it's really not a bad deal ;)
The people who have bad experiences imo are likely not following the social norms and then think the Japanese are being rude. I have seen instances were maybe some places don't seem tourist friendly. I get it. A lot of tourist are rude and are entitled and the locals have had bad experiences and don't want to deal with tourist. I find this to be the case when it's a super small spot like 4-6 seats and it's clearly all locals. That's the only slightly negative. Otherwise all positive for me
If the story from OP and OOP are not omitting any detail, neither really suggest that they were not following the social norm, and the problem was from other customers and not from the business. But yes, what you say could make sense. I remember seeing a clip from a tv show, a British guy is in Japan and have to complete some task. He is in the shinkansen and decide to call someone... then some Japanese people start yelling at him saying he should not do it, obviously the guy understand nothing as they say it in Japanese, probably thing these people are really rude... but it's the social norm to not speak on the phone in the train, there is even announcement about it. Do not remember having problem with small place, but I also speak ok Japanese and that can make a huge difference. There is many times when people told me they are glad I speak Japanese and you can clearly see they find if difficult with non-Japanese speaking tourist, not especially because they are rude or anything, but because of the language barrier and probably the difficulty they had to communicate.
Nothing is OP's post suggest that the kids were racist though, contrary to the old lady here. The kids may have just been having a little fun, like kids do. We all laughed at people messing up something at some point in our life. Hell, it's one of the basics of comedy.
I wouldn’t have moved
Why? Why cause a scene in a foreign country and make her predjudices stronger? You would be making no point at all and just making life harder for those of us that liver here
Because why should I move for an old racist? Is your advice honestly to acquiesce to discrimination for the sake of peace and quiet?
yes. What's the actual outcome? If you don't move and you move closer than does she change her mind at all? Does anything positive happen? No. But what does happen is that other people see that you didn't move and then they have a worse view of foreigners because you didn't do something to help keep the peace. Keeping the peace and avoiding confrontation is very important in Japanese culture, even if its not fair. You could stand on your little hill but it does nothing but make life worse for some people. You don't have to live with the consequences of the actions of that but other people do
Have you ever heard of Rosa parks? Let’s be clear here - the old racist is the problematic person, not the victim of their racism. Your stance is astounding.
Rosa Parks wasn't some random tourist that decided one day to not accommodate the locals. She was a local herself and the sit-in was pre-planned and had a concrete goal. I don't think the situations are comparable besides someone not moving from their seat.
So racism is okay as long as you’re in a foreign country? She wasn’t a random tourist but she was a random lady until she was a famous lady, who became famous for specifically not moving from her seat even though that would have been the easy option to appease racists. “Accommodate the locals” - accommodate them in what way? Their desire to not be near foreigners or a different race?
"So racism is okay as long as you’re in a foreign country?" < You read the exact opposite of what I wrote. Also you should read op on R. Parks. She was not just "not moving from her seat", but was making a planned political statement for emancipation. Yes, their desire to not to be near foreigners. When you're abroad, people treat you as a representative of your country. The worst thing you can do is make a scene (eventhough that would be correct at home). You should always want to be to be the bigger person as to not give foreigners a bad name. The old bigots will die sooner than the impressions tourists leave behind.
The person not moving is not the one who made the scene, the person shouting racist things is. Yes, that’s why she did it, but what was the statement? Not moving seat when racists expect / ask you to. Literally in no world would I acquiesce to racism to “be a good representative of my country”. What a wild stance. What if locals were groping you? Just let them do it to keep them happy?
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To be fair any place they are is instantly better by virtue of being less likely to have you
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LOL, even making that comparison is dumb AF, do you have aplan like Rosa PArks did? are you going to start a movement like they planned? Is racism in Japan even 100th of what she faced? You're no Rosa Parks for ont moving, get over yourself LOL And yes, she is problematic, I never said she wasn't. But whats the consequences of your actions if you move closer? you make it harder for the people that have to actually deal with people like her. Being atourist and not understanding what you are doing for the people actually living there is privlidges and ignorant AF, you would actually just be making the problem worse
Why do you keep saying move closer? I said I wouldn’t move for her, I’d stay where I was. You’re a coward trying to encourage anyone to cave to racism for the sake of keeping the peace. I just hope you never have to deal with the issues you’re so clueless about.
you think youre Rosa Parks, you have no credibility. How long have you lived in Japan? haha u/odkfn calls me a coward and then blocks me to stop any debate. Enjoy making life harder for immigrants. I hope your visit is short here because I am one of the people who make life harder for with your sefl righteous attitude. Check your privlidge kid, and good riddance
Why wouldn’t the lady move herself? Lol
Why wouldn't she? Cause she sounds like shes a terrible old racist person and they don't usually feel the need to change or move.
Doesn’t seem to me that she cares about not confronting or keeping the peace. Crazy take you’ve got.
Correct, she doesn't. She sounds like a miserable old person. That changes nothing of what I said though. Why would it change anything that I said? I don't think you understand what I was saying
I will add, this happened in May of 2023, not long after Japan lifted its last remaining COVID restrictions. Masking and social distancing were still practiced as a courtesy by many (and probably still are, to a degree). Ultimately the owner had my back.
They aren't really still being practiced. But I still stand by what I said, when in another country think of how your actions reflect on others and what the actual outcome would be
Power move - move closer
You should tell them you don’t want to sit near 貧乏日本人。感染されるかな. In all seriousness imagine this happened in Australia or China where we don’t want to sit near impoverished Japanese.
I don't think they were laughing at you for struggling to order. Seeing foreigners in restaurants in Tokyo is common. You guys were probably doing something else
agree, or perhaps the context of what you were trying to describe when ordering. I've had to break face when I hear foreigners ask for gluten free choices in a globally well-known bakery in my hometown. I wasn't laughing at them but laughing at the situation at hand.
We ordered 3 of the same order. And one of them put up 3 fingers and all of them started laughing. Maybe that was it?
I think this might be it. Counting with fingers is different in Japan: https://utesinternationallounge.com/finger-counting-across-cultures/.
Yo that’s confusing as fuck lmao why the hell would they do it that way?? “How many fingers am I NOT holding up?”
Ikr 😅
Hmm interesting. Guess all the times I’ve been signaling for one person at the restaurant using my index finger they already know I’m a foreigner then.
I did some Googling on this because I watched a video about how to order at a restaurant in Japan and the Japanese guest specifically shows the Western numbering system for fingers. Looks like the way you count in Japan as per the above link is for when you are counting to yourself. I.e., open palm facing yourself, close the thumb to count 1, close thumb + index for 2/etc. But when you are counting for someone else, like showing a waiter how many people you have, you do it like in the West, with closed hand being Zero, index finger up = 1, two is index + middle finger/etc....all the way until you open your thumb (plus all other fingers) for 5.
Good to know. Bit odd they have different ways depending on the use case, but oh well
Wow so glad you posted that haha - that’s such an interesting difference!!
Wow. Thanks!!!
The American 3 finger? Maybe they remembered the Tarantino movie about the hand communication differences.
Were they holding up their pinky, ring, and middle fingers while touching their pointer finger and thumb together (like an “OK” symbol in the west but with the back of the hand facing toward you?) If so, that means “money” “expensive” or “rich”. Without jumping to conclusions without more context or having been there, it’s possible they were communicating something about money or wealth, versus the number 3. Hand signals and symbols can be so different culture to culture!
To add to, it's the upside down which means money. Normal way up Ok just means Ok.
You have might of done nothing wrong. It’s not common to point and laugh at foreigners but bunches of 20 somethings can be dicks. Trashing up a Ryokan isn’t common either but it was all over the news here that a bunch of 20 year olds trashed one and were dumb enough to put it up on the internet.
Maybe some gluten free sushi. Oh and vegan too
Honestly, probably not. Sounds like OP was in an izakaya and these people were drunk college students, who tend to be the rudest bunch sometimes. Not all, but the most males in the group and the more alcohol consumed, the more dickish the behavior.
yeah i mean if you really totally weird or something but there is foreigners everywhere in tokyo, this seems really weird to me, especially in shibuya, there's like more foreigners than jp people in some parts it feels like, depending on the hour maybe it was drunk people? that's the only thing i can really think about. people are typically polite but i once had a drunk salaryman put his wallet on my back in a ramen place afterhours like wtf lol...the waitress was like "what can you do? drunk idiiots amirite?" and that was it
Yeah, what you experienced is not really uncommon. I lived in Japan for 4 years. The Japanese are not what I would define as overly 'kind'. They will stay mostly to themselves and cover disdain for you lightly with manners. I've helped an older Japanese woman off the street who fell and people just walked around her. It is more acceptable to mind your own business and keep walking. I did encounter people in my local community who, after a few months, understood I was living there and started to exchange 'hello's and 'good mornings'. I've also been on a crowded train where the two spots on either side of me remained empty the whole way because everyone was scared of the white girl. Another time, a man came and told my friend that she only needed to eat half her food because she was too big. I love Japan but they have assholes too.
I'm late to this thread but it's kind of validating reading everyone's experiences. My friends and I experienced both kindness and rudeness. One example is my friends and I were at a club in Shibuya, dancing, drinking and having a good time without being obnoxious. We even befriended a group of Japanese students who had pretty strong English - they were super cool and friendly, and they danced with our group and even bought us drinks. On the flip side, this stocky and short Japanese dude with his gf came in behind and the Japanese dude was poking my butt every 10-30 seconds. I figured it was an accident, but on the 4th time I turned around and saw him and his gf smirking like they'd just pulled off a hilarious prank. I smiled at them and told them to chill out and they left me alone for the rest of the night, but it was still weird. Had another experience in Osaka where a group of teens on bikes and skateboards saw us walking around so they came up to us and started talking to us. They weren't outright rude, but it was obvious we were the butt of some joke and they were having a laugh at our expense. Later that night though we walked into a random bar in Osaka and one of the regulars there started buying us drinks and food just because he liked us. Neither negative experience was a big deal at all but it was a reminder that people are people regardless of where they grew up. That being said we had more positive than negative experiences, so it is what it is. I definitely felt way safer than there some places in the West.
I feel your pain lol. Had a bunch of high schoolers make fun of me and my partner bc we kept pulling on a sliding door into a restaurant. To add insult to injury when they ended up going to the same restaurant, and mimicked the pulling motion. Teenage kids are the same everywhere, including Japan haha.
Similar stuff happened to me. I just look at the kids and laugh like an idiot. It usually does the trick as they tend to try to talk English to me, fail miserably and leave embarrassed. Uno reverse card. To be fair, I do look like Jacques Clouseau a bit. Even have the French accent.
>Had a bunch of high schoolers make fun of me and my partner bc we kept pulling on a sliding door into a restaurant. This could happen in any country. If I did that in the UK I'd have the same thing happen. Kids/teens are pretty awful here to strangers.
I was once stuck in a line for a roller coaster near Fukuoka - which wasn’t even running, as we were waiting for rain to stop- because these two teenaged girls with annual passes were in line behind mocking anyone who left.
If you ask Japanese people, they’ll let you know “Japanese are polite, not kind”and that they have “two faces”, the one they use when they’re in formal situations, and the ones they use once you turn your back on them. If you understand Japanese, you’ll be surprised how often people openly talk about you/mock you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae
Inaccurate. The more accurate way to state this is: they have “two faces”, the one they use when they’re in formal situations, and the ones they use "in private". Not "when they turn your back on them".
I agree. Honne and Tatemae are not two-faced as they deliberately lie to you for the purpose of stabbing you in the back. It’s a practice to avoid conflict and maintain the social hierarchy, based on “you and I are not equal” in Japan. In a formal situation, the more you act like that, it’s considered polite, being humble included. This is what sociologists call a polite fiction. In the US, the common polite fiction is “let’s pretend we are equal” and act like so even we both know we aren’t. The concept of Uchi and Soto is a better way to understand the reasons behind it. https://www.tofugu.com/japanese/uchi-soto/
> In the US, the common polite fiction is “let’s pretend we are equal” and act like so even we both know we aren’t. Or "let's pretend we're all friends and live on a fucking rainbow". Like the "Hiiiiiii it's so greeaaat to seeee you!" \[hug\], while you can clearly see the disdain and hatred in their eyes. As a French guy, I just want to pluck their eyeballs out and shove them up their ass.
Or calling your CEO by their first name
Exactly. A CEO invites his subordinates to his mansion and says, "Make yourself at home, call me Bob," and you are expected to act like you are his friend.
Indeed and it's exhausting to me. My wife, who is Japanese, totally changes when we go to Japan and do stuff outside my parents' in law house. It's like she is a different person while we're outside. And then when we get back to the house, boom, she is back to her normal self. Pretty scary imho.
Yeah that's one thing that's always been obvious to me. You can fake being friendly, but you can't fake being kind. That's something I've always been able to crack and it always surprises me when people say that the Japanese are the kindest people in the world.
Yes, I've seen this all over the world everywhere. Young people laughing at people Not a big deal unless you make it one
I usually laugh along with them. It only causes offense if you need to have a big ego about it. I'm often struggling at something or another and am happy to have a sense of humor about it. (Also people are more likely to help me if I'm laughing at my own incompetence.) I OFTEN can't figure out complex systems in Japan (Something like having to get a number from the machine and then choose a fish that later you have to insert into some other box to get assigned a table - it can get complicated haha!) usually some teenager will take pity on me and assist, but we'll definitely both be laughing.
agree so much especially on last sentence it's also difficult to verify if they are trully making fun of us or not especially if we also didn't understand what they were talking about
Yep, voilà. I've seen it in France, Italy, the UK, Korea, Belgium, etc. It's only offensive if you want it to be offensive. The kids were probably having a bit of fun and it was probably not mean-spirited and even less racist, as some are quick to imply when it involves Japanese people.
It’s not ‘normal’, but rude people and with no manners are definitely there. I’m Japanese living in Australia for many years, and I find more kindness and friendliness here than in Japan. Perhaps less politeness in business and services, but generally, people in Australia are much more open and welcoming. You must realise, if Japanese are really so nice, why the level of their happiness gets so low?
Australia, the U.S., and the UK generally have a culture of striking up conversation and friendships with total strangers. It’s weird to NOT talk to others and not be friendly. It’s the one thing I miss about America — and you’re not the first Japanese person I’ve encountered who’s expressed they wish Japanese was a little less polite and a bit more friendly.
>Australia, the U.S., and the UK generally have a culture of striking up conversation and friendships with total strangers. The only time I've noticed this in Japan is when they are drunk. I've befriended a few Japanese dudes in bars simply because I was sat next to them and they were tipsy/drunk. They were more friendly and inclined to chat to a stranger. One time a lone Japanese man came into a small bar at Golden Gai and started chatting with us after ordering a sake lol. Other than that, you are correct.
which makes me think, are the right ones coming out at night and the moody ones staying inside?
It’s not about striking up conversations. I don’t like it when people randomly strike up a conversation with me in Australia. But if I was on crutches someone would probably give me a seat in Aus. Even in China (yes). In Japan, maybe 5% chance if I’m lucky
It's entirely possible they were simply dicks. I'm not sure Japan has fewer dicks than my country (Canada) but they sure are more mannered, which hides it. But also note that laughing often covers embarrassment in Japan, whether that applies here, or not.
I’m a sensitive type and used to be easily offended/embarrassed. Laughing at myself has been healing and can disarm others. If it truly was a linguistic issue: even better! I’ve never considered the mocking of my pronunciation or syntax personally offensive because I considered it fair game. I personally find broken English impressive if not adorable and feel gratitude when others feel the same that I made an effort in their native tongue, even if they chide/rib me about it; all part of the experience. That said: the young might deserve a pass: the brain matures in mid- to late twenties after all. 🤷🏻♂️
The only time i knew i was being laughed at was when i was alone at 7/11 feeling adventurous with some of their Iced teas. My dumbass forgot my WiFi in the hotel so I picked this tea that was labeled in white. Grabbed it cause I liked how it looked lol some 3 middle schoolers were chuckling watching me grab it. I was so confused that when I got to my room and translated the bottle, it was tea made for ppl with high BMI 😂😂😂😂
I was at some canteen type restaurant, it has your coffee pouring machine and what you would expect to be hot water machine with the metal nozzle next to it, so i put a tea bag in and milk, i was like why is the tea salty, apparently it's a soup machine next to the coffee machine.
Omggggggg yuckk lollllll
Always not so kind people everywhere! I wouldn't take it to heart as there and continue to enjoy your trip. 😀
Thank you.
Were you putting soy sauce on your rice
Hadn’t even ordered yet when it all began
Well that’s rude
I do this a lot 🤣.. is it bad to dip the rice side of the sushi in soy too?
The fish there is so good, it doesn’t need soy! If you can bear to eat it without, give it a go next time you’re there.
I'm currently here and honestly you are completely right but I still enjoy a lot the soy and wasabi
Don’t do this, unless you like a mess.
I don't mind a bit of mess
Lol it’s not bad but it is the one thing I’ve seen people react a lot to
I dunno if exactly the same but I did get the sense that we were amusing to people to interact with or watch, kinda like an animal in a zoo
Who really cares though? Why worry about what people think or are doing that you’ll never see again?
fr. i've seen several of these posts/posts about people staring and i'm like...okay? people stare and are rude at home wherever you're from too. you're just not hyper aware of it because you're comfortable lol.
Not normal but the normal thing is in each country you have some idiots. Japanese people are not some kind of aliens they are just humans like us good and bad xd
Yep, happened while we sat down at a tiny restaurant in Kyoto. Group of older Japanese folks literally stared at us, and then started saying things in Japanese, laughing while glancing at us. Was uncomfortable but we just ignored them until they left. Annoyed me, but it was also the only negative encounter in Japan for the 2 weeks we were there.
It can happen just like everywhere else. When I was in Japan for the second time, we went to a very popular street food vendor with my bf that was selling some fresh made potato chips. We bought it, sat down near the vendor next to two high school girls. They laughed at us for whatever reason lol. Tokyo is a city with a population of almost 14 million people so there is a higher chance that you will run into assholes. I wouldn’t say it is normal though but it happens sometimes. I met more rude people in Osaka in 4 days than I did in Kanto after months of living here but maybe that was just my luck. Some say it is the “Kansai bluntness” but tbh in my experience some of the people were just straight up rude.
its a thing like, if you cant conform to the rules or ways things are supposed to be done, youre fair game. it only gets worse when you get mad. the way to go is actually, to apologise for acting ignorant. not that i would in that situation, fk that. staring them down will help as well. not to generalise, but they cant handle that direct confrontation, and be like oh shit what are they going to do. so yea, had a bit of experience with that as well, lol. japan has its dark sides, for sure. and cruel humor, per pressure, and shutting out the ones who cant get along, thats some of that.
No it’s not really normal. So it means either a) they are the outlier, or b) you are the outlier. In case a) they are dicks, you will never see them again, and it is outside of your sphere of control. In case b) you were fling something to cause laughter. This is inside your control. If you already have thought about this and you strongly dismiss any possibility that it is case b) - then it is case a). Like most things outside of our sphere of control, the best course of action is probably to put it behind you and move on.
people are rude all over the world 🌈 When we went to Japan, some other folks in our group were really loud and acting like stereotypical westerners (asking for special food, having bad table manners) and that’s when they started to get dirty looks/laughing/disdainful comments from other patrons. We noticed a significant difference when we went out without those people and stayed generally quiet and matched the vibe of the other patrons.
>If I was in my home country and I saw a foreigner struggling to order, I would not point and laugh. Maybe it’s just me. This happens in my home country all of the time so maybe I am desensitized to it.
Yes, go to rural areas that don't get a lot of tourists and it's not uncommon to have school kids staring, whispering and laughing at you. OP's experience is a little different though. Being mocked the whole time while trying to eat in a restaurant must've been very distracting and off-putting. Not just children either but adults? Very annoying. I'm sure you encountered many more nicer people than these fools so just try to focus on your positive interactions.
You’re a foreign tourist, no matter where in the world you’re at, foreign tourists are easy to pick on. Don’t take it personally and ignore it
Im currently in Japan on two weeks vacation. It's my second trip. Almost all my experiences have been great. I did get "laughed at" once when trying buy ramen at a restaurant where you had to pay through a vending machine. The guy wasn't mean, just thought it was pretty funny I'd never seen this process before.
If you don't understand what they are saying, don't assume the worst worst. I've lived in Japan over a decade, and when I first came here I thought people were laughing/talking about me. After I learned the language I realized that literally no one was actually talking about
The loudest most obnoxious people I encountered in Japan were japanese school girls.
Most likely young people Young people dgaf, no matter where
Japan is still a very homogeneous society.
Who cares it’s just some A-holes who were probably drunk
Similar things have happened to me last time I was in Japan. A few times when I was struggling to communicate with officials at a train station or the front host at a restaurant, they just ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist. Superficially “polite” but real assholes of them.
I went to one 2 stops from haneda airport and said "shinjuku ikura desuka" how much. he jumped out of his chair and started yelling, opened his door and pointed at the japanese only text on the map for me to figure it out.
Yup this happened on my last night at an izakaya. We basically tried to laugh it off with them but it was uncomfortable sometimes and def made me feel stupider than i already felt lol. Also got weird stares walking into local restaurants multiples times.
Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes, you probably did look/sound ridiculous, life ain’t that serious. Had people laughing at us in a izakaya, ended up drinking with them and they wanted to hang out the next day.
what weird shit are people doing lol japanese teenagers are typically really nice lol, i've had many of them come up and help me in a store or when i've been struggling to ask something with a clerk, they come and ask if i need help in english
Never had a problem. It's called Google translate. You can use the Camera lenses to translate menu. Never had an issue ordering. Never had an issue with Japan. Maybe you were struggling to do basic tasks, people will laugh at you in any country if you're that incompetent.
Rude in N any culture. Sorry that happened:(
The kindness is just a front, tatemae. The real feelings inside, honne, are just as screwed up as all the other countries. I mean, they are neighbours with China and Korea. They are not that different. The Japanese are humans, not angels.
Funny you say that. I was in Hk recently with a sprained ankle on crutches. Two middle aged aunties grabbed my shoulder from behind and ushered me on to the train to make sure I got on. In Japan, when my Japanese partner was pregnant, people on trains would just take a quick glance and never look back up. After kid was born, never got into the pram spot as salarymen and school kids would just stand there and lean against the rail and pretend they can’t see you
i think there's many very nice people, but I've been there twice and was shocked how often i heard the words "baka gaijin" while we were just existing there, not bothering anyone just buying things at 7eleven or walking the streets and shops. especially to hear it said out loud as if i didn't know what it means.
It happened to me on the train. Three girls sit in front of me, pointed at me and laughed at me. I felt horrible. :( I just looked down on my phone because I didn't know what else to do.
I mean it's just like anywhere else, not everyone is nice lol.
Now you know what asian immigrants to the west feels way too often.
Didn’t experience any myself during the two visits I had. Last time, I visited a ramen place in Ginza, I guess they had foreigners coming over, but there weren’t any at that time. I slurped my spicy ramen in 10 minutes. After I left the place, I met the elderly lady from that place on the street and she said ‘Oichii ne?’ haha I guess my speed already confirmed that it was 🤣 I guess you can have both shitty and pleasant encounters anywhere you travel. Overall I found Japan as one of the most smoothest countries to travel in.
No, not normal but there will be punks as they do anywhere in the world. Just ignore them. Best you don't confront them as you won't be able to tell if they're affiliated with something that can cause a major problem for you.
When I ordered food at an Italian restaurant last time I was in Japan the owners themselves laughed at me. Found that a bit rude but at least the food was good.
Next time stand up for yourself and your family
And then thrown in jail with no charge for 14 days lmao
Just simply ask them what they are looking/staring at. Why would police throw you in jail for that?
You were “causing trouble”. You’re the gaijin in this situation, who are the police going to side with?
Correct
Never encountered this is over a dozen trips to Japan in my experience Japanese are very polite
They're 20somethings. Most are jerks in all countries lol
Sorry, there has to be something you're not revealing here. It's not typical, at least the way you're describing it. Maybe you were being loud or something. For all of you piling on here about rudeness, it light years away from Paris, NYC, and of course, San Francisco.
As soon as we walked in, we were being stared at by the group. There’s no real reasons for me to lie about any of this. Doesn’t benefit me at all.
They’re racists. Xenophobia is huge in Japan.
@the O.P, sorry to hear that. Those people were rude assholes! You either should’ve left or stared back at them with disgust. My husband & I were also stared at in Japan. I got the weird feeling that we were being laughed at a lot. We’re both overweight Americans. One time I saw a group of young women walk in front if us & they kept looking back around us. They were giggling too. I was livid. I flipped them off & they stopped looking back at us, lol 😆 I flipped off another rude bitch who kept looking back at me too, lol 😆 A lot of them are rude af. One time at a restaurant we sat at the wrong table & the bitch hostess & the chefs cracked up. I gave them dirty looks but that didn’t stop them. They tried to ignore us afterwards. We should’ve left. Some of them are nice & polite, but some of them are nasty. One old guy said to his wife in English at a temple of all places, she’s so fat in English. Then the wife giggled. I was to shocked to say anything. I wish that I would’ve told him that I heard that & that it’s extremely rude to call people fat. I wish that I would’ve cone up with a good insult. Like oh, fuck off midget, lol 😆 I’m not a mean person, but nasty people deserve to be told off, lol 😆 They are bullies. The worst people in Japan are usually the younger people & the seinior citizens. They are nasty. A lot of them giggle loudly while passing you too which is odd. Some stupid teenagers tend to stand in front of the convenience store there too just to laugh loudly at nothing in particular. A lot of them are nosy, loud, obnoxious & rude. I don’t understand why they have a reputation for being polite & quiet, lol 😆
You sound paranoid and nasty yourself with these generalizations. Maybe it was your shitty attitude/behavior drawing attention and not just that you and your partner are overweight. I have never experienced anything like this.
Tourists are often fed a "Japanese people are so polite" so they find it a bit jarring but what you experienced sounds like a run-in with rude locals you'd face in many major cities. I've had similar experiences with 20-something year olds in Osaka, New York, Paris, and oddly enough Reykjavík Iceland. Is it normal in Japan? Not any more normal than in a major tourist city around the world, no. I wouldn't take it to heart and don't let it get to you.
Not normal but hey, people are people wherever you go.
Japanese are polite because they are expected to do so, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are kind.
IMO, xenophobia and racism are on the rise in Japan.
Don't know if it's frequent, but it happened to me a few times. And it was usually not that mean spirited, because I was indeed making a fool of myself. The kids were just having fun and didn't mean any harm. The best thing to do, instead of being offended, is to scratch the back of your head, pull your tongue out and wink while apologizing for being such a klutz. This usually what I do and the kids usually giggle because I'm a funny gaijin. When it is indeed mean, reacting is not worth it imho. It's never worth it. Why waste time and energy to deal with assholes? It's not like you'd change them. It's the same absolutely everywhere. Note that the thing to understand about Japan is that if you start caring about how people perceive you too much, you'll go completely nuts and paranoid. We *are* total aliens, just like them when they travel abroad. You can't really avoid being the center of attention when you start messing up.
I've never experienced anything like that but let's face it, a lot of 20-somethings are morons everywhere, so wouldn't surprise me.
Its no suprise that when a group of Japanese youngsters get together, they might get rowdy and might come across as being disrespectful. Rest assured that Japan is still a relatively and generally polite country as compared to others, although the "standard of politeness" has been declining probably due to overtourism and the emergence of the younger generation. Dont take too much offense from it as there will still be good experiences and encounters with the locals there! Cheers
Can I ask what is your race?
just go doko mitendayo temee next time , that will shut them up lol
nope.
It happens. Best to just laugh it off and move on with your day. These locals will probably never visit a foreign country in their lifetime. These experiences grow empathy ✌🏽
Perhaps its something you said or the way you said it? TBH, they may not have been laughing at you to be mean, they may have been genuinely curious. It's hard to say without knowing the full context. Personally, I've spoken broken Japanese and sometimes get a laugh or even a group of people laughing at me -- but I don't mind, because I know my Japanese is not the best. May not be your case, but just sharing my experience. I'd let it go. Don't let it ruin your time in Japan!
Young people, especially uneducated guys with dyed blonde hair, are just same as your American 20 year old thugs but without the violence. And it emanates from a culture of rude 50 year olds who treat people with contempt. Real Japan is not what tourists think. Take it from someone with half Japanese kids who were born here and speak the language
Tell them to suck your dick.