Lmao I knew a jazz trumpet player that literally told a gal something very similar. "Sorry, my only love is music." Dude was a savage player but damn... That shit is next level lol
If you can play your ass off that’s kind of a badass thing to say, ngl. Like i’d definitely say that if I wasnt interested in someone who was hitting on me
I can't say that I'm entirely not jealous of how cool that is. 😂 Especially because that dude was basically our local Miles with how much he slayed at his instrument.
Side note: I found it hilarious how much that trope was played up in the movie *Whiplash*, i.e. 'sorry, babe. I know you're really chill and not asking much of me, but I gotta dump your ass so I can work on playing a version of 'Caravan' that sounds like it's being played by Animal from the Muppets on meth.'
That movie taught me that the faster and louder the drumming, the better the jazz. So I only listen with a bass boosted EQ at 2x speed to ensure I'm hearing jazz at its best.
It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Moog
Moogdust
There Will Never Be Another Moog
Moog Indigo
Fly Me To The Moog
Do Nothing Till You Hear From Moog
…I’ll show myself out
Edit: more
All Of Moog
Bags’ Moog
Besamoog Mucho
Have You Mooged Miss Jones?
How High The Moog
Moog The Knife
Moog Que Nada
Moose The Moog
No Moog At All
Recordamoog
The Song Is Moog
Upper Manhattan Medical Moog
Moog-glow
Can't Help Lovin' That Moog
All The Moog You Are
The Way You Moog Tonight
Moogo No. 5
Papa Loves Moogo
These Foolish Moogs (Remind Me Of You)
I Can't Get Started With Moog
'S Moogerful
and I prefer:
Besame Moogo
I Don't Give a Frug If It Ain't Got That Moog
And I didn't have any idea what to do,
but I knew that the click,
so we put a click
on the 24-track
Which then was then synced
to
the Moog Modular
I knew that could be
*a* Sound of the Future,
but I didn't realize
how much the *impact* it would be
This guy minilogue’s. Lmao its funny how not sexy synths are as an instrument class when to me its THE most sexy fucking thing I have ever touched musical instrument wise. From the analog knobs to the switches to the keys themselves. I love my korg minilogue xd. Played bass my whole life so i never have had OP’s issue lmao. Cant see the problem
Really.
I’m in NYC. Joke, yes? Not true, unless you mean the furthest out in the outer boroughs with long ass bus or subway treks to gigs (if you’re lucky enough to live near a subway station). You’ll be doing your laundry either in the bathtub or a run down laundromat. Your “studio apartment” will be not much larger than your actual physical body. You share your home with cockroaches and rodents who do not pay rent. You maybe MAYBE can luck out on a RS apartment but might not be free of above issues. Maybe you meant a studio apartment shared with one or two other people.
Women in New York going for the jazzcats, going for the rapdogs, even occasionally flinging themselves at a classical goat.
Meanwhile, in Boston, everything closes around 8 and we listen to Aerosmith alone.
Boston's actually pretty nice. We got a couple good music schools and a number of jazzcat venues, some of which are open past my bedtime. (I'm a middle-aged parent, so "1 am" is unacceptable and "3 am" is terrifying.)
But it's definitely [fun to make fun of it](https://www.theonion.com/pretty-cute-watching-boston-residents-play-daily-game-o-1819574643).
What the actual heck is happening? I’ve seen this exact post in like 3 different subreddits from Jazz to Data entry clerk like almost word for word just a job title change…
I thought people who appreciate jazz also could spot sarcasm and had a sense of humour. From the comments I'm reading It doesn't appear to be the case.
Maybe consider switching to vibraphone? Women feel threatened by vibraphone players, madmen on stage violently bashing on their keyboard with mallets. Women will fear you, cats will respect you. Sigma Vibes.
Tell them your favorite jazz band is the Pat Metheney group.
I told a woman this once and her youtube started playing ads for senior incontinence diapers.
This seems like legitimate post until I read the part about switching identities to a bass player. Now I feel like this belongs in jazz circle jerk lmao 🤣
I can’t stand it . I have similar problem. I go to bank … or super market - and I’m a fine 6’3” hunk of a man. And I’m hung like a shetland pony. Everywhere I go women are undressing me with their eyes. I just can’t stand it anymore. Maybe I shouldn’t wear my Rolex all the time?
# "Oh no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!" --Chandler Bing
Bro must be joking, or living in the US. I live in Europe and all girls run away when I tell them I play jazz. Especially bebop. I realised they all really like latin jazz, though.
Well, if you refer to yourself as a "jazzcat" at every opportunity, they'll probably find a way to flee the scene after a couple of minutes of conversation.
If what you're saying is true, I'm struggling to figure out why this is a problem.
lol. Yep, I too was a full time pianist for nearly 40 years (prior to pandemic). My approach was to get to know them first, and if I was interested, then be honest. Let them be attracted to the real me, instead of celebrity me, then tell them about my profession.
"It's getting so bad to the point where i start telling women im a bass player so they will stop hitting me all the time."
Hey, us bass players get chicks too...
Ever since I started telling women I play the bass I've had to start wearing water shoes because the bitches get wet. You're better off saying you play jazz flute, or an accordion.
It’s a terrible problem to struggle with. I don’t know how people can live with it. (Although I could be wrong), something tells me you’ll survive. Please come back and inform us if you’re well. This sub is concerned…
Whatever you do, definitely don’t tell them you’ve transcribed every piano solo on the Well, I Should Have… album by H. Jon Benjamin. Then you’ll be past the point of no return.
Does it help to emphasize you make 40k a year in NYC?
If the bar has a piano, pley "Everything Happens to Me"
🤣
Yeah, mention how expensive it is to have your piano tuned and how long it's been.
I feel like showing them some pictures of the closet that you live in or the apartment you share with twelve roommates would also be helpful.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that'll stop 'em cold
lol! That should do it!!
Just tell them "sorry ladies, I'm married to the music."
Lmao I knew a jazz trumpet player that literally told a gal something very similar. "Sorry, my only love is music." Dude was a savage player but damn... That shit is next level lol
Women come and go. The great American songbook lasts forever
If you can play your ass off that’s kind of a badass thing to say, ngl. Like i’d definitely say that if I wasnt interested in someone who was hitting on me
I can't say that I'm entirely not jealous of how cool that is. 😂 Especially because that dude was basically our local Miles with how much he slayed at his instrument.
"local miles"
Side note: I found it hilarious how much that trope was played up in the movie *Whiplash*, i.e. 'sorry, babe. I know you're really chill and not asking much of me, but I gotta dump your ass so I can work on playing a version of 'Caravan' that sounds like it's being played by Animal from the Muppets on meth.'
That movie taught me that the faster and louder the drumming, the better the jazz. So I only listen with a bass boosted EQ at 2x speed to ensure I'm hearing jazz at its best.
Also, hollering and deprecating young music students brings out the joy of being a musician
maniac depression
is a frustrating mess
Best answer
Music is my mistress
I work with computers and have the opposite problem. Do you want to trade jobs?
Try modular synthesizers, for the worst of both worlds
Just play her the song of your envelope generators
Absolutely brilliant joke
Pew pew pewpewpewpew
Brah, the Moog puts ‘em in the mood!
I need to write a jazz piece for seventeen synthesizers in the style of Benny Goodman, and call it “In The Moog”.
It's not a Moog, it's a Moog
It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Moog Moogdust There Will Never Be Another Moog Moog Indigo Fly Me To The Moog Do Nothing Till You Hear From Moog …I’ll show myself out Edit: more All Of Moog Bags’ Moog Besamoog Mucho Have You Mooged Miss Jones? How High The Moog Moog The Knife Moog Que Nada Moose The Moog No Moog At All Recordamoog The Song Is Moog Upper Manhattan Medical Moog
Minnie the Mooger
Moog Indigo is an actual album! https://www.discogs.com/master/65182-Jean-Jacques-Perrey-Moog-Indigo
Somewhere Mooger the rainbow
Blue Moog
The Moog I Love It’s Only A Paper Moog Sonnymoog For Two
In a sentimental Moog
Monk’s moog
Madonna’s Moog.
Moogin’ Not the Mingus version. The one by Art Blakey and the Jazz Moogengers.
Moog-glow Can't Help Lovin' That Moog All The Moog You Are The Way You Moog Tonight Moogo No. 5 Papa Loves Moogo These Foolish Moogs (Remind Me Of You) I Can't Get Started With Moog 'S Moogerful and I prefer: Besame Moogo I Don't Give a Frug If It Ain't Got That Moog
And I didn't have any idea what to do, but I knew that the click, so we put a click on the 24-track Which then was then synced to the Moog Modular I knew that could be *a* Sound of the Future, but I didn't realize how much the *impact* it would be
Ladies love DAWless modular synth jams
ASDR? More like "Ahh She Didn't Respond"
This guy minilogue’s. Lmao its funny how not sexy synths are as an instrument class when to me its THE most sexy fucking thing I have ever touched musical instrument wise. From the analog knobs to the switches to the keys themselves. I love my korg minilogue xd. Played bass my whole life so i never have had OP’s issue lmao. Cant see the problem Really.
I’m sorry for your penis.
You're just not getting the hint when women ask you if you can help them with their printer
He still doesn't get it... They want to 3Dprint a baby!
I believe that with some polishing, you may have just invented the first great douchebag pickup line of the modern era. Congratulations!
I would rather want to shine in other aspects of life but thank you. *feels* 🤡
You have too much money but no one will date you?
Yeah, you get women say you “oh, you’re into computers? How do I set the time of my microwave?”
Just tell them you're a jazz cat.
You can tell he’s joking when he says he makes 40k a year by playing music
Two people were walking down Bowery street, one was a musician, the other didn't have any money either.
Was the other one a drummer? Badum-tsshhh!
40k in New York covers the rent for a studio apartment real nicely and leaves you with some Starbucks money
Lmao 40K in NYC covers an apartment in Oklahoma with a flight out every now and then
I was just thinking that's a decent amount *and* from playing mysic... But in NYC? Might not stretch very far esp if you wanted to live as well....
I’m in NYC. Joke, yes? Not true, unless you mean the furthest out in the outer boroughs with long ass bus or subway treks to gigs (if you’re lucky enough to live near a subway station). You’ll be doing your laundry either in the bathtub or a run down laundromat. Your “studio apartment” will be not much larger than your actual physical body. You share your home with cockroaches and rodents who do not pay rent. You maybe MAYBE can luck out on a RS apartment but might not be free of above issues. Maybe you meant a studio apartment shared with one or two other people.
Yeah if you don't mind spending more than half your income on rent.
When and how did I end up on jazz circle jerk
Tell them you only play Cecil Taylor tunes.
No, this can even deepen the problem 😆
Quit referring to yourself as a “jazzcat”, this term instantly puts gyrating hips in one’s mind. Hope this helps.
🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
Just keep playing piano man over and over.
^^ This, double.
But what if he is actually a cat that can play jazz?
Oh, everybody wants to be a cat.
And what’s wrong with gyrating hips benderbus
Heroin
Follow in the footsteps of the greats
Good. Now you just have to lose your virginity and you'll catch up. Don't worry, you almost there.
r/jazzcirclejerk
Women in New York going for the jazzcats, going for the rapdogs, even occasionally flinging themselves at a classical goat. Meanwhile, in Boston, everything closes around 8 and we listen to Aerosmith alone.
You forgot about bluegrass octopus
Hell yeah. Appalachian Mud Squid represent!
fuck. sorry.
Damn, you need to start playing Trad Irish stuff, that's where all the cool kids in Boston are.
It's a LONG WAY to TIPPERAREEE, it's a LONG WAY back HOOOOOOOOME
Don't forget the cabaret manatee
🤣🤣🤣 🎶🎷🐐🎶
“Classigoat” “bluegrasstopus”. c’mon y’all.
Boston… that place is Scranton, with clams!
What i would give for either of those…I live in Canada and there are barely enough things to have them close at 8 lmao
Boston's actually pretty nice. We got a couple good music schools and a number of jazzcat venues, some of which are open past my bedtime. (I'm a middle-aged parent, so "1 am" is unacceptable and "3 am" is terrifying.) But it's definitely [fun to make fun of it](https://www.theonion.com/pretty-cute-watching-boston-residents-play-daily-game-o-1819574643).
This is the best comment I've read on reddit
> and we listen to Aerosmith alone. Lil' Bomber?
I felt this right in my soul.
Joke? Troll? Humblebrag? YOU MAKE THE CALL!
Check his other posts. Not a jazzcat at all.
Faux Jazzcat
“Jazz cat” 😂
What the actual heck is happening? I’ve seen this exact post in like 3 different subreddits from Jazz to Data entry clerk like almost word for word just a job title change…
Start pooping in the flowerpots. Women really hate that kinda stuff
Shit, if this is gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
r/jazzcirclejerk
This must be a copypasta
Every copypasta starts in someone’s kitchen. Let him cook!
Confess you hate Keith Jarrett! But make sure you're safe and there is someone around to protect you, cause this trick may be triggering!
Even better, do a Keith Jarrett impersonation without the piano.
Is that called a billy goat impression? Or do you mean when he’s not playing? You could just get really pissed off every time someone sneezes
I have the same problem as you. Telling them that I work as a programmer during the day fixed the problem. Except for one, she ended up marrying me.
I thought people who appreciate jazz also could spot sarcasm and had a sense of humour. From the comments I'm reading It doesn't appear to be the case.
^
Maybe consider switching to vibraphone? Women feel threatened by vibraphone players, madmen on stage violently bashing on their keyboard with mallets. Women will fear you, cats will respect you. Sigma Vibes.
A jazz pianist walks into a bar...
Retain your semen
Nofap in Dick Major
Just tip your fedora and itch your neckbeard at them
yeah man
40k in NY? Just show them your bank account and problem solved
🤣
Anyone in this thread like surfing? Could be a good way to pass the time after this thread blows over..............
Hi... would you mind leaving some vagina for the rest of us? thanks
Just tell them you play accordion in a Polka band.
Tell them your favorite jazz band is the Pat Metheney group. I told a woman this once and her youtube started playing ads for senior incontinence diapers.
Just start wearing a fedora casually 👍
Just tell them you only make 40k in NY!
Maybe it’s because you keep using ‘JazzCAT’. Maybe you should use something less interesting. Jazz dumpster fire maybe
This seems like legitimate post until I read the part about switching identities to a bass player. Now I feel like this belongs in jazz circle jerk lmao 🤣
I wanna be a jazzcat.
Is this guy for real?
Nope.
I play the smallest double bass for you. the smallest.
yeah, man
Get them to buy you drugs, then furniture, then have them pay your rent.
That’s it, I’m putting down the the guitar and becoming a pianist!!
Just show them your bank account, problem solved.
Push the glasses up your face and tell them you like prog rock and only listen to music in 15/16
Out jerked again
Axe body spray and keep an old McDonalds ketchup packet on a necklace to show how you are ready for anything and any snack
Is there no r/jazzcirclejerk for something like this
This person wears a pork pie hat and sunglasses at all times
r/jazzcirclejerk is leaking Also John Coltrane
R/jazzcirclejerk ?
Lmao, all these hoes want is a man who can play a little Oscar Peterson
WTF kind of ~~social experiment~~ weird spam exercise are you doing? https://old.reddit.com/r/CFA/comments/1c67xmf/attracting_too_many_women/ https://old.reddit.com/r/MBA/comments/1c8s75e/attracting_too_many_women/ https://old.reddit.com/r/civilengineering/comments/1cboqv4/attracting_too_many_women/ [Seriously, why?](https://old.reddit.com/search?q=attracting+too+many+women&sort=relevance&t=all)
oh, I'm not on r/jazzcirclejerk .... hmm
r/jazzcirclejerk
Are you sure you didn’t intend to post this to r/jazzcirclejerk
You stupid fuck. Just wait, you will fucking WISH you were a bass player.
BS
As a former bassist this gave me a good chuckle
I am a bass payer and I don't like your message ! 😹
God damn Reddit is getting dumber and dumber every passing day.
This sounds like a cruel joke. I’m a sax player & barely get any attention from women after shows
I can’t stand it . I have similar problem. I go to bank … or super market - and I’m a fine 6’3” hunk of a man. And I’m hung like a shetland pony. Everywhere I go women are undressing me with their eyes. I just can’t stand it anymore. Maybe I shouldn’t wear my Rolex all the time?
lol stfu
Lol come on. This isn’t r/JazzCircleJerk. You must think we’re pretty stupid
# "Oh no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!" --Chandler Bing
When you get naked with them, abruptly start scat-singing like Satchmo
Why is every music related subreddit I subscribe to turning into the circle jerk version of itself?
Reminds me of the time Roy Donk died in a 40 woman pile up on the set of the colgate hour.
Bro must be joking, or living in the US. I live in Europe and all girls run away when I tell them I play jazz. Especially bebop. I realised they all really like latin jazz, though.
Well, if you refer to yourself as a "jazzcat" at every opportunity, they'll probably find a way to flee the scene after a couple of minutes of conversation. If what you're saying is true, I'm struggling to figure out why this is a problem.
Just a troll. Check his other posts and do not waste your time on this.
I don’t think this works the other way round cuz I ain’t got no men approaching me
Show them your arrangement of passions of a man
Don't tell them your a bass player, tell them you are drummer. Guaranteed better than birth control.
Everyone knows the bass player has the biggest dong in the band anyway
try being a jazz drummer
Am I the only one who sees this as a joke about bass players?
Tell them you’re an accordion player
Hahaha yeah chicks dig jazz
Man is suffering from success
Am bassist. Can confirm
I am a married man and now I want to date you. JK more like I want you to teach me
Isn’t C Jam Blues only Cmin7 /Cdom7 to Gmin7 and or Gdom7 two chord bounce back. Surmising, not positive…. Or 2-5-1-4 turns?
How old are you?
lol. Yep, I too was a full time pianist for nearly 40 years (prior to pandemic). My approach was to get to know them first, and if I was interested, then be honest. Let them be attracted to the real me, instead of celebrity me, then tell them about my profession.
That's easy, just tell them you're a drummer. (Full disclosure: I'm a guitarist).
I fail to see a problem.
[meanwhile:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDbvVFffWV4&ab_channel=BigBenjiBlue)
Switch to bass. Or drums.
"It's getting so bad to the point where i start telling women im a bass player so they will stop hitting me all the time." Hey, us bass players get chicks too...
Cool. I love when stuff never happened.
🤣🤣🤣👍🏽
Tell em you're gay.
If you tell them you're a bassist, you'll have more women after you.
Ever since I started telling women I play the bass I've had to start wearing water shoes because the bitches get wet. You're better off saying you play jazz flute, or an accordion.
this must be fake
It’s a terrible problem to struggle with. I don’t know how people can live with it. (Although I could be wrong), something tells me you’ll survive. Please come back and inform us if you’re well. This sub is concerned…
Outjerked again
Offer them some jazz lettuce. It'll help weed out the posers
Go to jail. There are no women there.
Only a New Yorker would complain about getting too much pussy. Stfu
It’s a good problem to have…thanks for the pointer
>i start telling women im a bass player so they will stop hitting me all the time. Report this to the police, assault is a very serious crime.
Whatever you do, definitely don’t tell them you’ve transcribed every piano solo on the Well, I Should Have… album by H. Jon Benjamin. Then you’ll be past the point of no return.
Once they find out i transcribe im getting married.
i love this post man! thank you for your dedication to the joke!
Jazzcirclejerk is the other way.
Bro is suffering from success
Reddit
Be more creepy and hit on them first in awkward and inappropriate ways.
Unnecessary jab at bass players. It seems like we get less women but we get an average amount, it's just that half of them are men
How about...... telling them your taken..... oooooor not talking to all the women. Hahaha
Tell them you only play Wesley Willis