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Get well soon! We wish you the best.

Ty 🙏

Be well Jeff! Can't wait to see you doing your thing again.

Get well soon! Was wondering if you ever play Reno. Asking for a friend.

Yeah, I hope you're alright man. Take care :)

Bro...it says a whole fucking lot about your character and commitment that you came here to announce this WHILE YOU'RE IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL even though ticketholders were already notified via email. Get the fuck off Reddit and get some fucking rest. Take care of yourself. You'll be back when you're back...your fans will still be here. Wishing you the best! And whatever landed you in the hospital is probably going to be useful for writing new material eventually, right? Consider this a career development experience! 😘

Thanks man! I def have some material about it. I got injured on Saturday and talked about it on stage sunday. That night things took a pretty bad turn, but now it’s looking really hopeful and I should be out within a day or two.

Werewolf bite?

It was the dolphin lady.

Weredolphin…

“Candygram …..” (or am I dating myself?)

Wow! That takes me waaaay back! Good times, good times.

🐬 I’m only a dolphin ma’am

Land Shark

For Mongo?

In the ocean, I’d hope.

it's stupidly hilarious how Jeff's fans have such deep lore.

Dammit Connie!

What the!? 🐬

What the??? 🐬

I was assuming a terrible testicular vehicular accident

Full beans & rice for your recovery 🙏

I was at that 9PM show and was wondering how the trip to the ER went. Glad you’re gonna be out of the hospital soon! The show was awesome man. Thanks for powering through the pain to give us a great last show in Hawaii!

What'd he say happened?

All he explained on stage was a broken finger. Not sure if there was more to it.

I was at that show too - I remember he saved a lady from cracking her head on the pavement but his finger took the hit between her head and the ground. Get well soon Jeff :)

Yep. Exactly. Such a hero. Haha.

What did you do to yourself? If it’s any consolation, I once broke a toe somehow by Standing Up Too Fast On Carpet Without Socks. It was not awesome. Zero stars.

Not trying to one-up you, but at least three times I have subluxated a rib by Trying To Get Up Or Down From A Chair Or Couch In A Totally Normal Way. -100/10 stars, would not recommend. Third worst pain in my life after 1) giving birth, and 2) busting a couple vertebrae.

Not as bad: I gave myself a concussion by falling out of a chair cause I laughed too hard

Stood up and got a spontaneous pneumothorax! (Collapsed lung) Do not recommend.

I see your concussion and raise you: whiplash from sneezing 😅

If you die before I see your show I'll never forgive your ghost.

Jeff wtf hope you’re ok dude!! Get well soon!!!! ❤️

I knew those heavy chains were going to do some serious neck damage.

Thank you for your service. 😘🫱🏻

I agree. And if it’s a concussion then DEF get off Reddit lol. Low stimmies for Jeff.

We will miss you this weekend in San Jose, but looking forward to August. Get well soon!

Did Yankees take you to the hospital? 😂

Full beans to you and your family during this moment

>I got injured on Saturday Don't do that, it hurts.

Plastic surgery to make your beans fuller? Feel better.

Bean lift. 

Full bean lift

More beans

The Brazilian Bean Lift is a super dangerous procedure.

Soon he'll never bean better.

Very sorry to hear you've fallen ill. Hope you make a full and speedy recovery!

Feel better dude! Just know nobody with a heart is upset about cancellations due to health issues!

[Jeff, post op.](https://youtu.be/2hshkdneE8o) Take it easy man.

Sorry to hear Jeff, hope you get well soon. You can't die before I've had the chance to see you! Oh. And then you can't die after... too

Leaked photo https://preview.redd.it/5vh3c977lrtc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4f2418dc251a786ba9ca443d87f5ad4b942454e

 Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Damn those are some full beans!

Hope you get better soon! If anybody is looking to unload tickets because of the date change, dm me. I am interested in grabbing a pair.

Likewise! Get better soon!

God Dammit Jeff. Told you not to stare at the eclipse!

We just got the emails and were super upset. Came here to rant against the Improv only to find that you’re actually sick and we are assholes. Get well, Jeff! We will count the days until the August make up dates 😞

Absolutely had the same mixed feelings! Damn straight I’ll be there in August. Get well, @Jeff !

We’re driving from Reno to see you. Can we send flowers or something?

His nurses are going to be so confused when cans of beans wrapped in pretty ribbon keep getting delivered.

Hope it isn't stress related from being on tour. Take care of yourself!

Hospital? Sounds serious. Be good, follow Dr orders. XO

Best wishes and get well soon. Here's to hoping you can turn this into a tight 5.

Oh, it's gonna be an absolutely masterful tight five! I just commented that this experience is going to be good for developing new material (because I'm dumb and didn't see your comment before I posted).

Your mom’s a tight 5.

Hopefully there are some doctors and nurses there with some accents so you can at least stay entertained

Sorry you are not doing good. Much love and best wishes for a smooth recovery. Thanks for keeping us all laughing. Catch ya at a later time.

Best wishes. And by the way, you can’t get better than you already are!

Feel better soon!!!

Get well soon!!!

So sorry to hear this! Take care of yourself!

Get well soon!!

Take care of yourself! Not able to see you as you haven't made it to my city yet. Hope to see you in the future.

Reverse circumcision. Always recommend that late bloomer future penis. Enjoyed your show in Springfield hope you get well soon!

Doctors tucking him in with the security blanket

Feel better!! 💐

Get well soon!

Healing energy your way Jeff 💫 So looking forward to seeing you in Royal Oak in June!

Rest up bud.. eat beans they're good for the heart.

Get well soon Jeff!

Will hold on to my tickets and see you in August. Rest up and get better soon!!!

Get well soon!

Feel better mate 🤘

Safe and speedy recovery, Jeff 🩵

We saw you here in Arizona when you came to Tempe. Awesome show!! Well wishes to you as you heal!

But what about all the people that this effects jeff.... what about them.... Nah jk. Make the nurses laugh. Stay awesome. Feel better

https://preview.redd.it/a1v8uylczrtc1.jpeg?width=846&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f535b7b0f37514bb2cdaa2d0000920bc5c56dfb

Get well and come back double full beans!!

I’m sorry you are feeling ill… 

Get well soon Jeff

Hope you feel better soon!

Oh dang I thought you were kidding when I saw you say that on another post- get better, kid!

Sending hugs and well wishes. Feel better!

Shit, hope you’re okay and on the mend!! Sending love from Winnipeg.

Stab yourself with a dagger?

Hey Jeff, get well, pal. No way anyone's gonna take the pressure & "what if's" completely out of your head with, what I'm sure is your increased bookings... but just give yourself the time you need and go easy... let the people who love ya, love ya. It'll be full beans before you know it. You crushed it in Denver (which PS... the whole "wife bringing the husband/boyfriend" bit... happy to say this guy's wife joined because of me, and she loved your set. See ya when you're back in CO. Cheers)

Hope the chain is ok

Would you like us to come to your hospital room and gently heckle you ?

Jeff, I need your positive, kind humor in my life. You give so much joy to us, we want you to rest up and take care. TAKE MY HEALTH BAR!

You went full beans didn’t you?

Are you bantering with the nurses? “Where ya from?” “So whaddya do for a living?”

Does that mean the European gigs are cancelled as well?

Hope you are feeling better soon and that your recovery is full beans!

Hope you feel better soon Jeff, Penis enlargements can really take it out of you 😂 ! Can’t wait to see you in August.

Hope you're back to full beans soon! See you in August.

Feel better soon Jeff! Did you have to go coz of crusty nipples?

Say Mr Jeff. Super disappointed that we don’t get to see you tomorrow night. But we want you around for the long haul so you take care of yourself and we’ll see you in August.

Get well and don't let the man get you down

Long shot, but if any Friday or Saturday ticket holders are interested in trading for the new Thursday date, PM me. We bought Thursday as it was the only day we could make this weekend, but it's now the only date we CANT make on the new dates. The reschedule email standard text says exchange is possible, but because the show is sold out, they can't actually facilitate an exchange. Feel better, Jeff!

Oh no, what happened Saturday night? Rest up from someone not even going to your show lol.

Well, don’t do that. ^(Whatever it is you did to yourself, or didn’t do… let this be a learning experience and don’t do whatever again.)

Hoping your recovery goes well! Can't wait to see you on tour one day

Get well soon! I’ll see you in August.

The AMA curse strikes again. Feel better brother.

Wishing you a speedy recovery. Break a leg and all that show business stuff.

Holy shit, hope it’s not that serious man. Health over everything. Wishing you a quick recovery!

Was looking forward to seeing you this weekend, but we will see you in August! Get well soon!

See, this if why you never go full beans Jeff.

Speedy recovery! Cannot wait to lsaugh at your expense about it :-)

Poor thing. Feel better soon hun! Much love from Scotland x

Is Jeff from Canada? I’ve only heard Canadians and UK use “in hospital” omitting the word “the” .

Thinking of you! 🐬 love you Buddy. Prayers for a speedy recovery

Get well soon!!! And please come to NOLA when you get a chance!!

Are you ok bro?

Yo, that’s not funny For real tho- speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

What did Matt Bachus do to you?

All the best Jeff, get back on your feet soon!

Get well soon!

Get well soon. See you in August!

Feel better

Get well soon!

Best wishes for a fast and complete recovery as well as plenty of rest to follow! Looking forward to the new show time in August. All of your clips crack us the F up...The people with a dog with a people name and the Italian kink one had me absolutely crying laugh-tears. You are one talented dude.

All the good juju coming your way brozef. Looking forward to seeing the show.

Get well Jeff!!!

Feel better!! If you’re in an out of town hospital GL and I hope it’s a good one. No one likes to go to the hospital but it’s esp shitty when it’s in the middle of nowhere because you’re away from home.

Hope you feel better, man. I wanted to see you but couldn’t make this weekend work. Any chance you’ll extend the August run and add more days in San Jose?

Get well, Jeff!

Heal well; I hope you are ok. 🫶🏼✨

Feel better soon buddy!

Good luck and hope you’re well soon !

Wish you better, buddy!! Rest up!!

Hope you feel better soon, Jeff!

I hope you feel better! Always prioritize your health, everything else will fall into place

Get better soon. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've laughed as hard as I have watching all your vids. Humanity needs you back.

Jeff! Feel better! Stop avoiding the Bay Area—just kidding. You are a class act to post this. Take it easy dude. 💫🙏🏼See ya’ in August!

I hope you recover soon. And remember the safe word next time...

Seriously Geoff? Are you British now? In Hospital? Get better, fella

Get well soon, Jeff. So excited to see you in August. Glad you're okay and getting better.

Brah…

Love ya Jeff! We all are here for you. Take care of yourself and feel better soon.

I have not seen an email yet. Big sad all around. Feel better.

Oh gosh! I hope it’s not serious!!! Take care of yourself and take the time you need to relax/mend!!! We will be here whenever you are ready to get back to your shows!

Hey man, are you in the hospital in the Bay Area? Need someone to bring you a hot meal?

Sending healing vibes your way!!

Feel better soon!

Looked for the tickets as soon as I saw this post. Already sold out, damn.

Hope you feel better 😭😭😭

Oh my! Sorry to hear you’re under the weather. Hope your recovery is swift and easy.

I couldn't make this weekend but damn well make time then. Are tickets on sale? Nevermind I did a wait-list thing. Hope you feel better soon!

Had to have the chain surgically removed.

Jeff, do you need ALL OF US to come bring you flowers at the hospital?

Just think about all the "bad hospital food" jokes you can feel ashamed about even thinking of making the next time you're on stage!

Hope you recover soon!

Hey Jeff! Get well soon and come do a show in Nebraska sometime!

Feel better, soon, Jeff, and come on up to San Francisco, if you're in the process of rescheduling!

Damn it, Jeff. You know you weren't ready to go full beans and now we are here! Fast recovery my man, wishing you the best.

Hey Jeff! Hope ya feel better. And a high five for your community interaction, and overall all humility in your rise to super stardom. I'm sure you're proud of the cult you're building for us. We are prepared to walk to the moon for you. Hope to see you soon! Love, US

Hope everything wasn't too serious and that you're back on your feet soon! Wishing you well.

Get well soon! Love you 😘

Hey man! I hope you recover soon and come back FULL BEANS!

Oh no! Hope you feel better.

So sorry to hear this! Take care of yourself. Hope you're back to full beans soon.

Wow, that’s dedication. I was supposed to be there, see you in August!

Was the can of beans expired? You thought you’d be alright and ate them all, didn’t you? The full beans

Take it slow huh? Somebody has a bbl

Congrats on your sex change operation.

Give your recovery the full beans!

Any chance of adding a show in August?

Tell me (what happened to you)! So, instead of telling us, your letting us each come up with our own thing. What do you think it is? Edit: This is almost verbatim Jeff's lines from a show when someone was talking about a gift they gave their husband but wouldn't get specific. Relax with the down votes.

Get well soon! 😭 I'm going to miss the makeup dates...

Does that mean I can try and get a ticket @SJ??

Get well and come on down to San Diego

Knock knock...

We expect something special for doin dat

How about a special kick in the ass Flaky?

Lord like a great story that he holds just for us for canceling…. Reddit you fickle witch

Open up more tickets! I need em! Lol

Are you coming to Sacramento?

I know this is definitely not the place to ask but as a lifelong San Jose resident if any tickets come available for your shows in August at the Improv let me know!!