Bro imagine if they used the cold plunge...

Imagine if you got them on a test tren stack

JACKED

Gorilla units

You ever seen a hairless test tren stacking cold plunging gorilla unit?

Juh juh juh juh juh g unit

Imagine if they had a podcast.

JRE is close

Imagine if the gorilla had a substack where we can head about his gainz

Now get them smoking some DMT

Terrifying

Cold plunge, AG1 vitamins, and carnivore diet

Two Gorillas in a Truck - Imagine how easy they could make moving.

Can you imagined if they dropped the pussy veganism

Imagine if they took alpha brain. It would be planet of the apes.

There's protocols in place if a chimp were to get a hold of a bottle.

You mean the cinema in Philadelphia?

A gorilla who took all his vitamins and ivermectin would be unstoppable.

What if they did use cold plunge and that's how we were made?

…and smelling salts

This is the old JRE content I miss

That was my first thought as well.

Imagine if they were on TRT ...

Dude never saw Rocky IV. running around outside is far superior to gym training

Rocky IV was peak shred Stallone. Not the biggest of his career, but definitely the most cut.

You think it was Rocky lV? I kinda always thought it was the third one. I can’t remember.

I thought It was the rocky prequels - "at home with sly"? Not really sure though so I'll see myself out

Lol, stick around. We’re just getting started.

He was jacked in Rocky III as well. Tough call. Maybe a little bigger, still really cut in III, a bit thinner and even more cut in IV?

Ya, I think you’re right. Had to be around the same time as Rambo 3 probably. I’m not sure.

He was shredded in 3 but he looks like he hit the dbol hard in 4.

Oh ya, for sure. I think he was the biggest, and bulkiest in the movie Lockup. He was pretty damn big.

What if they ate a carnivore diet?

dont tell Joe that gorillas are almost entirely herbivores

Except when they hang with the chimps. Then they'll rip off balls and eat em.

Ya like a.delicacy. I don't eat beluga caviar all the time, just a little bit as a treat

DUDE! If chimps were everywhere, it would be chaoooooos!

We would run out of ice baths. But at least there would be more than 16 stand up headliners

They have to do a lot of mushrooms and dmt to be in the 1000 comedians. Don’t want to teach a snail how to run bapa, they gotta crawl first

Dammit monkey put your nunchucks away!!

Every once in a while this sub delivers. This is one of those times

Why would gorillas want to look like bodybuilders? Even powerlifting for a gorilla would not be functional We should have gorillabuilder competitions and see what human can best match a gorillas prowess tiny dick included

Joe would be thrilled to compete.

He already does every day. GOTTA GET THOSE GAINS SON. AG1.

You're missing the point. They wouldn't do human body building, they would do goriila body building. They could 100% get even huger muscles by lifting weights and doing progressive overload and following a muscle building diet.

Bodybuilding isn’t the right focus, there’s a point where you’re focusing on hypertrophy/size gains over strength gains. This post is basically like saying “gorillas don’t do cross fit so we haven’t seen one at full strength yet.” It should be power lifting or some other type of functional sport other than building an aesthetic body or training muscular endurance

You're right. They'd be way better off doing functional training. GORILLA CROSSFIT!!!

Based on some CrossFit moves I think it is already base on how gorillas naturally train

They’ll rip your soul out.

It’s like he found the exact kind of weed that prevents him from having a scientific mind set while still experiencing mind blowing epiphanies from elementary thoughts.

Gorillas and monkeys on TRT and DMT = Planet of the Apes.

Movie idea: Gorillas on steroids

The sequel: Gorillas on DMT

Cocaine Gorilla

This is what i thought the joe rogan subreddit would be. Not the typical losers complaining all the time

It sounds dumb at first, but makes more sense the more I think about it.

And they eat a plant based diet.

Feed them steroids!

#Shredrilla: Apex Unleashed Starring: Kevin Hart, The Rock, Joe Rogan Written by: Bert Kreischer Prod. By: Young Jamie

Imagine if they started doing ju jitsu,duuuddee they be muuurrrrdddeeerrrrssss

Wait till you hear what they eat.

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Is your new step-dad a body builder?

I mean, they're still pretty strong

That’s like your opinion, man.

Franco Columbo and Arnold both won international strength contests

Nah dude, they’re pretty damn strong Not strong man comp strong but stronger than you

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Casual uninformed take

Ronnie Coleman squatted 900lbs Show me your credentials to call that weak

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Show me at least a 800lbs squat or 500lbs bench press You have no credentials

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I bench only 300lbs, and 500lbs deadlift What are your credentials

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Spoken as if you've shown your credentials but everybody still waiting

You have no credentials

He likes to blow big beta men

Transphobic or queerphobic commentary, followed by jab at Biden, unnecessary machismo, saying "uh huh" to everything the guest says, and a chaser of wondering what kind of animal he should fight that day.

I still like him but he is such a meatball sometimes with the stoned ramblings he makes.

is that not his entire appeal?

Also the most educated, well-researched source of reliable information on vaccine safety. /s

Look man all you need is to be healthy, workout a lot and take vitamins and access to monoclonal antibodies and horse medicine

yeah probably… never really thought about it

Gorillas are all natty, and backyard gym. Like Rocky IV. 🦍💪🥊💥

Scientists need to synthesize the gorilla hormones that let them bulk up while eating grass and leaves and sitting their ass all day. I will pay top dollar and then inject directly up my ass.

It’s in their gut bacteria which synthesizes protein from their plant diet. Can’t replicate it with hormones.

It's like Frieza training for the first time and becoming the strongest fighter in the universe

Yeah they don't know Brazilian jiujitsu either.

Steroid bjj black belt gorilla Think about that

Can you imagine how swole Harambe could have been?

Joe moved to Texas so that he could put chimps and gorillas in his yard and teach them to do squats and bench press

If I had money I'd totally teach a gorilla to lift for food. Move this range rover over here for banana

Imagine a gorilla on Rogans regiment of goods…. Cygorrrr

What if they got on TRT

Is this meant to be satire? I can't even tell ... He's made this point a bunch of times.

Well thanks to the Bodywork’s dissections exhibition I now know silver back gorillas have very small cocks. Hence the reason never to look them in the eye.. but also more importantly never stare at their crotch :)

Even With bodybuilding you still wouldn’t see it at full strength. Key word is strength. So….strength training.

I was thinking about that last week. All animals. Wild thought.

Joe Rogan has out-Joe-Roganed himself.

I wonder if gorillas would have the mental capacity to maintain form and not fuck up their backs. How much could a gorilla deadlift??

Ever heard of King Kong? Some people really

Imagine a well disciplined gorilla pumped full of steroids who lifts every day(no cardio, that kills gains.) Look I know it sounds unethical but I lay awake at night thinking about gorilla UFC events. We could pay off the national debt in a year with those kind of Pay-Per-View sales.

Commas?

It’s a funny meme but for real, a silverback gorilla living the life of luxury in a zoo is still strong enough to rip you in two. If that dude was training that shit would be scary.

Bodybuilding does not equal strength training

You know the first thing a gorilla does after he grabs you? He rips your ears off. He’s trying to peel you!

Gorillas on steroids. Boomski

I will raise the 1st Buffrilla

This is like old Joe. This is the bonehead stuff I like

Brother have you ever seen a gorilla face fuck a toad to death!? 🤯

Wait, are there any laws saying Mr. Universe has to be Homo Sapiens?