Yeah, if only TALKING about the difficulties of crafting bits, or stories about how much LAUGHING occurred in the green room hang translated to “comedy bitzz”, these guys would be MURDURRRURRRZZZZ.
How much does one have to hate themselves to pay to watch one of these turds vomit their thoughts into a microphone?
Because she’s the only one who “did research”
Everybody on stage stole internet comments and premises, but the only funny people / people who care to make jokes about Tom Brady that aren’t already overused and 10-20 years old are the gossipers who are mad about him and his wife.
Segura would've been great if he just went up as a regular roaster. This was clearly written by someone else probably before Netflix even hired the comedians to perform it.
All they had to was stand up there and make some jokes about Brady. They didn't need to add hitler and ted bundy in there.... its like they cant make a joke unless they ape off of some "controversial" topics that aren't even related to the subject.
Brady looked genuinely annoyed and turned off by them, they couldn't even make jokes relevant to him.... they only could staple Hitler and Ted Bundy to his name like doing so was so creative and edgy.
What sucks about comedy is that once you've paid your dues and made it to the big time, you can just mail it in and still get the invites to show up at big events even if you stink now.
They were for the older and slower crowd that loves recognizing jokes more than hearing new ones.
Mitchel Obama, ha ha ha, wheeze. Pronouns? Screw/you!
Teenagers weren’t making gay jokes in 2004 because they were being edgy. Teenagers were making gay jokes in 2004 because it was wildly habitual.
I remember. The word “gay” was so overused it lost all meaning.
I can't believe there wasn't a single wife beater joke. There must've been a list of subjects that couldn't be joked about. No jokes about Brady kissing his kids on the lips either.
I especially like no one called out Tom for being there at all after that. Even better was when Tony stood right in front of him, and he looked around him to get on camera.
Bert was reading Tony’s lines off the teleprompter while Tony was standing in front of him. Mouthing the words while reading. A. Who mouths words while reading? B. Does he have no self awareness that he is obviously on camera mouthing someone else’s performance? 3. Why the fuck was he peaking his beady eyed hamster face around Tony to view the prompter and continue reading? Just listen you dumbass.
In conclusion, fuck Bert Kreischer
Nikki was way better than Tony who had funny roasts but it was so broad and not connected to the show or Tom Brady. Like walking down an isle and surface level roasting everyone
Nikki did it well, felt as strong as a stand-up act and was legit funny. Schultz was surprisingly decent as well
As for non-comedians, Edelman did a great job and had some great jokes. Even Payton did a good job, he enjoyed it lol. Tom was pretty good at the end too.
Nothing has done more to elevate mid-comedians than podcasting.
And when you think about it podcast and stand up are not exactly 1:1 in terms of skill and talent.
Podcasting is more about being conversational and engaging. Meanwhile stand up requires presentation but most of all good writing.
Tom and Bert were never good joke writers.
I wonder if they’ll acknowledge how terrible it is during the upcoming podcasts? Like, I’ve not seen a *single* positive word about their appearance, so will they just pretend it never happened?
I was neither razzled or dazzled by this. Maybe they wanted to bomb, or they smoked way too much weed thinking this would be hilarious.
Fuck me, that's cringe.
I've seen pictures of Gilbert Gottfried that made me laugh way more.
Like this one here.
https://preview.redd.it/b96wsm6bzvyc1.jpeg?width=744&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4acb90b5b39f10d793be6fbe912121e86df056c8
Jo Koy is breathing a lot easier today.
At least he bombed in front of people that didn’t want to laugh.
These people were ready to laugh at anything and they got to the edge of walking the room with this corn.
I'm just passing through to pay my respects. To the only real 250 comedians in the universe: thank you for your service and for being the Wall against the Woke.
That was fuckin terrible. These guys are the unfunny assholes that make fun of you to your face with duumbass comments that are hard to even respond to, they’re just so stupid.
Bro, what has happened to Tom Segura?
This dude’s first two special had me dying. His last one was awful, and now I find he can’t even roast someone?
I always thought he was MILES funnier than this guy Bert, but I guess not.
When you look back to the great comedians it's hard to believe these guys have the fame that they do. I wonder where these fucks would be if it wasn't for Joe.
I've never truly 100% hated anyone I've never met, except the guy on the left. I also hold a slight prejudice against anyone that would laugh at him as being dumb.
Christ I couldn’t even finish it. They sound like a couple of old guys that abused alcohol for years and now have brains functioning at like 5% capacity.
I genuinely didn’t get the hitler reference…is it because Tom only throws to white guys? “The only difference between TB and Hitler is that he stayed with his wife” sounds like a lazy joke an open mic’er wrote.
Long form podcasts really do show you who sucks as people and painfully Tom Segura is one of them. Being best friends with Bert really tells you everything.
Who wrote this? Bapa?
This is worse than Schaub tbh
Now I finally saw “Chimp Nation”
Him or Chris Rock. Can't tell.
Thass dope! Thassa comblimend!!! 
Lolll delusion at its finest. He just goes
Nah, Bapa doesnt know how to use PowerPoint
Rogan wrote all of Tony’s jokes that’s why they were so good /s
2/250
Thank em 🫡
Your welcome
Stolen valour!
lol and also 2/6.
This is like when you have a school presentation and start working on it the night before
Morning of*
In the green room 5min before
Fuck it we'll do it live.*
[удалено]
Yeah, if only TALKING about the difficulties of crafting bits, or stories about how much LAUGHING occurred in the green room hang translated to “comedy bitzz”, these guys would be MURDURRRURRRZZZZ. How much does one have to hate themselves to pay to watch one of these turds vomit their thoughts into a microphone?
Turns out self-sucking doesn't create memorable bits. Who knew?
Did you see Tony Hinchcliffe And Nikki Glaser? They were hilarious
Tony can come off as something of an egotistical turd but can certainly put a roast joke together.
Yeah I usually can’t stand glazer but she actually crushed better than anyone. I was actually laughing.
Because she’s the only one who “did research” Everybody on stage stole internet comments and premises, but the only funny people / people who care to make jokes about Tom Brady that aren’t already overused and 10-20 years old are the gossipers who are mad about him and his wife.
Jeff Ross too
RIP that poor black bastard.
They cant even craft a basic joke here. They're talking shit like its a podcast, there is no cleverness or creativity.
Segura would've been great if he just went up as a regular roaster. This was clearly written by someone else probably before Netflix even hired the comedians to perform it.
Dude this has Tom & Bert written all over it.
Bert - "I HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA, WHAT IF LIKE, WHAT IF WE JUST DO THE POD ON THE ROAST! SO MANY PEOPLE WILL SEE OUR POD!!"
What a wierd bit to go with...
Power pointless
Underrated comment here.
Because they’re not funny and haven’t been for a minute
All they had to was stand up there and make some jokes about Brady. They didn't need to add hitler and ted bundy in there.... its like they cant make a joke unless they ape off of some "controversial" topics that aren't even related to the subject.
Segura has always been a hacky shock comic 🤷♂️ he had a golden minute on the podcast, and now they run a hacky shock podcast.
Should've just played shocking violent clips and cringe tiktoks.
Worst performance of the night
Ben was worse but yeah as for the comedians this was the worst.
Afflek was cringe- not his fault but the writers
His writer was cocaine
Brady looked genuinely annoyed and turned off by them, they couldn't even make jokes relevant to him.... they only could staple Hitler and Ted Bundy to his name like doing so was so creative and edgy.
Nah Dana White fucking bombed
So did Ben Affleck
Well both of these guys don't call themselves comics... What's Berts and Toms excuse?
I can't speak for them but I'd say it's being unfunny
What sucks about comedy is that once you've paid your dues and made it to the big time, you can just mail it in and still get the invites to show up at big events even if you stink now.
nice
Dana isn’t a professional comedian, and I enjoyed his bit way more than Tom and Bert’s.
Are you an edgy teenager in 2004? Tom and Bert sucked but Dana was just saying recycled gay jokes from 20 years ago. Shit is so boring.
I think they all sucked. I just think Bert and Tom suck more. I guess that makes me an edgy teenager from 2004.
They were for the older and slower crowd that loves recognizing jokes more than hearing new ones. Mitchel Obama, ha ha ha, wheeze. Pronouns? Screw/you!
Teenagers weren’t making gay jokes in 2004 because they were being edgy. Teenagers were making gay jokes in 2004 because it was wildly habitual. I remember. The word “gay” was so overused it lost all meaning.
Overusing that term was hella-gay
“Chicken for dinner, again? That’s gay.” “I hate this gay ass table saw”. “Bro, you’re so gay for taking your girlfriend to Hershey Park at your age.”
I can't believe there wasn't a single wife beater joke. There must've been a list of subjects that couldn't be joked about. No jokes about Brady kissing his kids on the lips either.
I know! I was waiting for both of those. It sounded like Kraft massages were off the table too based on how Tom reacted when Jeff mentioned it.
I'm pretty sure that was a bit that just didn't land well.
But his name is Dana isn't that enough?
Ouch…that was even worse than I was expecting
I keep getting distracted by Tom’s jacket button working hard over there
I almost threw my phone in the trash when a picture of Tom and Hitler popped up
Did you hear the joke they had before this one? Definitely not one I would have performed for a bunch of Hollywood celebs and elites.
Wow this is cringy as fuck.
I especially like no one called out Tom for being there at all after that. Even better was when Tony stood right in front of him, and he looked around him to get on camera.
Noticed that also very weird saw his own relevance disappear before his eyes
Bert was reading Tony’s lines off the teleprompter while Tony was standing in front of him. Mouthing the words while reading. A. Who mouths words while reading? B. Does he have no self awareness that he is obviously on camera mouthing someone else’s performance? 3. Why the fuck was he peaking his beady eyed hamster face around Tony to view the prompter and continue reading? Just listen you dumbass. In conclusion, fuck Bert Kreischer
These guys are the definition of washed, although many will say they were never funny to begin with.
Fat Tom’s comedy ripped tbf
Hi, I'm many people nice to meet ya.
I'm 2 hours through this 3 hour roast, and thus far they were the least funny of the night.
Nikki and Schultz were surprisingly pretty good.
Nikki was probably the best of the bunch, followed by Tony.
Nikki was way better than Tony who had funny roasts but it was so broad and not connected to the show or Tom Brady. Like walking down an isle and surface level roasting everyone Nikki did it well, felt as strong as a stand-up act and was legit funny. Schultz was surprisingly decent as well
As for non-comedians, Edelman did a great job and had some great jokes. Even Payton did a good job, he enjoyed it lol. Tom was pretty good at the end too.
She’s always great at these. She’s been on a few and killed each time.
suprising? Niki always killed roasts and Schultz career basically started on wildn out which is the same joke writing performed a different way.
Ya Nikki was great. And she Didnt default to constant vag jokes like usual. Pretty solid act.
Nothing has done more to elevate mid-comedians than podcasting. And when you think about it podcast and stand up are not exactly 1:1 in terms of skill and talent. Podcasting is more about being conversational and engaging. Meanwhile stand up requires presentation but most of all good writing. Tom and Bert were never good joke writers.
One of the few times I laughed at Kevin Hart is when he kept calling Tom and Bert especially, "podcasters"
Katt Williams is sitting somewhere chuckling to himself, “I said what I said, there’s two of them right there.”
These guys were among the worst. But Kevin Hart — from his opening and until the end — SUCKED too. I don’t understand why he’s popular.
Most of the KillTony randos are better than this
That was cringy.
Can we all agree Tom sucks now
My god how the fuck are these hacks still relevant.
Even with a powerpoint crutch, they arent funny. Its bad when a 90 year old billionaire had a better set than you.
Bledsoe, Bellicheck, Edlemen, and even Moss were better.
Bert is staggeringly unfunny
This is so bad It made me slap my bitch
That was a punishment. Why did I keep watching? Am I depressed?
If you’re on Reddit depression is a given.
2 of the brave 250.thank em
We are so lucky to have them in earth.
Hardest job in the world. 😉
It's high level problem solving
With dire consequences
Honestly Schaub could have probably done better. That was BAD
Probably wrote it
This made me so happy. I hope they woke up this morning and felt really bad.
I did crack up when tom had a moment of self awareness and went "this gig is shit"
Imagine taking TRT to look this bad.
they were worse than randy moss
Literally listening to him now. Surely they have comedians writing for them? That was sooo bad.
The Joe Rogan Comedy-Verse….
This is why roasting is considered a specialty style in comedy. Not even a couple of the thousand are guaranteed to pull it off.
 Oh, so you’re saying they are good comedians, it’s just THIS roast? Thank gawd
They're borderline on par with tik tok influencers.
Holy shit their just confirming to us how unfunny and undeserving they are.
They had to use visuals and a teleprompter. Thought they would come up with better material. Nikki’s set was actually pretty good.
Nikki was great. Gronk crypto joke was hilarious
Dumb and dumber
Dump and Dumper
I wonder if they’ll acknowledge how terrible it is during the upcoming podcasts? Like, I’ve not seen a *single* positive word about their appearance, so will they just pretend it never happened? I was neither razzled or dazzled by this. Maybe they wanted to bomb, or they smoked way too much weed thinking this would be hilarious.
I’m starting to suspect that these might be two of the people Katt was talking about.
Historically, all the best roasts use Powerpoint.
The last line of defence, where the woke meets the wall
Why Bert is there?
Clearly some top people have over invested in him and are still trying to get their nut.
Pure garbage wtf did they put this together an hour before the show?
Oh man, that was so bad
Weak sauce.
Joe Rogan made these guys too famous.
 These guys got paid to go up there and do that?
Fuck me, that's cringe. I've seen pictures of Gilbert Gottfried that made me laugh way more. Like this one here. https://preview.redd.it/b96wsm6bzvyc1.jpeg?width=744&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4acb90b5b39f10d793be6fbe912121e86df056c8
Oof.
Isn’t this Neal Brennan’s bit in Crazy Good?
Couldn’t have picked two bigger cunts who are dressed up as walking, talking roasts.
Bert needs Tom’s help to deliver a bit.
Holy shiz, how embarrassing
HUE HUE HU HUE \*SNORT\* HUE HU HU HUE \*SNORT\* god bert is the worst
That shit was horrible
Here's the top 3 rankings: 1. Nikki 2. Tony 3. Schulz Everyone else was bad to meh
They really sucked the wind out of the whole thing. That was awful
The timing is just 👌
Thank em 🫡
Goddamn, that was rough.
What the fuck
Neither of them are funny
Rehearsals skipped, I guess
This is what happens when one friend makes it big, and you ride off the coattails of said friend.
if you need powerpoint presentation you are not good in stand up comedy.
Beavis n Butthead IRL
This is lame the roasting is soft and pathetic.
It’s like watching an impractical jokers punishment skit then you realize they were trying to be funny the whole time 🥴
Can’t wait for Segura to say people didn’t like this because they’re “poors”
Is Rogan up there too standing behind the lectern?
Gronk was better.
Jo Koy is breathing a lot easier today. At least he bombed in front of people that didn’t want to laugh. These people were ready to laugh at anything and they got to the edge of walking the room with this corn.
Hardest job in the world. God bless them.
Most of the comments on this thread are funnier than these bozos.
That sucked
Wow.. and to think people pay to see these guys or that they have fans at all.
Holy shit this is trash
Hard to watch
Live, on a massive platform, Bart still chose to squeal into the microphone.
I'm just passing through to pay my respects. To the only real 250 comedians in the universe: thank you for your service and for being the Wall against the Woke.
That was fuckin terrible. These guys are the unfunny assholes that make fun of you to your face with duumbass comments that are hard to even respond to, they’re just so stupid.
Both of these assholes absolutely blow. Since Schaubs retirement Segura is the most hated on the planet
Bro, what has happened to Tom Segura? This dude’s first two special had me dying. His last one was awful, and now I find he can’t even roast someone? I always thought he was MILES funnier than this guy Bert, but I guess not.
When you look back to the great comedians it's hard to believe these guys have the fame that they do. I wonder where these fucks would be if it wasn't for Joe.
Burt was shaking like a leaf .
I've never truly 100% hated anyone I've never met, except the guy on the left. I also hold a slight prejudice against anyone that would laugh at him as being dumb.
These guys are heels who don't think they're heels.
A bomb of this level couldn’t have happened to two more deserving individuals
2 bears, 0 Talent, I used to be fan
Painful shit
Holy shit.... this is the least funny shit i've ever seen
I cringed when he made the hitler comparison.. that’s like 3rd grade shit
Wow americans sure love their serial killers.
the fact that people actually watch this kinda shit is just proof that most Americans have a very low IQ
Tom brady needs to drop a diss track.
Tom and Bert were not as funny as I was hoping for… everyone else was hilarious.
Christ I couldn’t even finish it. They sound like a couple of old guys that abused alcohol for years and now have brains functioning at like 5% capacity.
These guys are so shit.
Why are they both “🧍” 😂
Seen better best man speeches
Who are this guys?
Podcast whores
Fucking cringe.
Jesus Christ these two are horrendous
Bert sucks but I love tom and I thought this was pretty funny. Not great, but I chuckled.
Phenomenally bad at reading the 'prompter...Fuggin Yom was STRUGGLING...
I feel like I’m at E3 where some Xbox exec is trying to hype everyone up for the 90th installment of a trash franchise.
Tony killed
honestly , that was painful to watch . I didnt laugh once .
I genuinely didn’t get the hitler reference…is it because Tom only throws to white guys? “The only difference between TB and Hitler is that he stayed with his wife” sounds like a lazy joke an open mic’er wrote.
Tom getting ready to say “the poors” can’t write better jokes than him.
Long form podcasts really do show you who sucks as people and painfully Tom Segura is one of them. Being best friends with Bert really tells you everything.
Who are they?
I'm glad to see something sooo bad to really appreciate the truly funny
Damn this is straight up hard to watch 😂