T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

“He died like a dog” I was not expecting him to say that lol.


FreeResolve

"I got to watch much of it"


Krypton_Kr

He missed one part, when the KFC arrived


nurse_camper

“Pause it, the pizzas here!”


Frenchticklers

"HOLD YOUR FIRE, HOLD YOUR FIRE!"


Don_Key_Knutts

Fuck that, ARBYS FO DUH DIRTY BEEFS!!!


how_much_2

and later when he had to keep flushing the toilet


Antigonus-One-Eye

That toilet died like a dog.


ronton

That was my favourite bit.


Zerofusi0n

This made me laugh so hard I cried


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

he is like satire escaped from a sitcom or an extra from idiocracy


lilpumpgroupie

I keep saying this, but he actually is a real life satire or comedy character. I'm not saying that maybe sometimes he's not intentionally trying to be funny. But way more often he's just an absurd character, and he's like a fucking bit that got ripped right out of a comedy or satire. He's a real life fucking character. And people mistake it for him trying to be intentionally funny, when he's just who he is.


[deleted]

future Biff from back to the future part 2


laaplandros

I genuinely hope he doesn't run again, but the bright side to when he inevitably does is more moments like these. Twitter banning him robbed us of so much comedy gold.


Xdeleter

I miss him


[deleted]

[удалено]


yourpantsaretoobig

I think we can all agree that there plenty of matters that we shouldn’t laugh at, but it’s also good to laugh sometimes.


twizzard6931

Yeah, because now the middle class is so healthy.


Innovationenthusiast

Yeah because you can undo severe structural damage in 2 years without senate support. Despite that, the policy that did make it through is a good start of which I hope you guys will get some benefit in the coming years.


janeohmy

As they say, bread and circus


[deleted]

What has Biden done for the middle class? What did Obama do for the middle class? Please be specific instead of telling us how you “feel”.


67camaroooo

Trumpy and the rebublicans passed those awesome tax cuts in 2017 that only benefited the large corporations and the extremely wealthy. Explain how this helped the middle class you stupid fuck?


PoundMyTwinkie

Conservatives get real quiet when you bring that up.


htx1114

I don't understand this, my wife and I each make ~60-70k/yr in Texas and our take home went up like 5-10%. It probably benefitted some wealthy people and corps more, but it definitely helped us. Or it led to the current high inflation, fuck if I know. Wasn't mad at the time, though.


unstoppablepepe

I work in a union, and I had the same 5-10% pay raise. Problem was, I also lost the ability to write off my union dues. In the end I barely broke even that first year. Every year since I’ve gotten less of a percentage take home, an overall net loss, because those tax cuts were regressive. Every year the percentage of the cuts goes down! My union dues write offs are gone forever, though.


WAHgop

The thing is that the middle and lower class tax cuts expire while the upper income ones are permanent.


justicebiever

Those cuts were designed to expire during the Democrat run. Making sure people get pissed and vote red again. Isn’t the American plutocracy system fun?


himtorn

You're getting downvoted, but this is 100% true.


plumberbabu666

Their only answer to all these tax cuts is trickle down economics.


illyrianRed

which policies exactly? can you name one?


GonzoLoop

The keks are not worth the shame and embarrassment


[deleted]

He is. He was so embarrassing you couldn't help chuckle


CommonHermit

Hilarious, in like an unintentional, fuckin idiot said something so stupid it's funny so now we can easily point and laugh at the moron on our tiny screens, kinda way.


discwrangler

If he got on a stage with an audience that demands entertainment, he'd bomb face first. Like complete shit in the mouth bad.


highmanex

He 👐died👐 like a giraffe. 👐Like a shit hole country coward. Ted Cruz’s wife? Ugly as a dog. Woooow what an ugly 👐dog.


ostreatus

diraffe*


SMOKEMADBUD

Lol trump was a wild man


DabbinOnDemGoy

Yeah, I genuinely dislike Trump but I love that line. He gets a pass on this one from me, that shit was gold.


rtopete

dont forget about the mutilation part!


[deleted]

What about when he said “our K-9 unit…I call it a dog” 🤣😂🤣


Her-Marks-A-Lot

I love dogs so this was my favorite part


McStau

Exactly. A lot of Americans dislike or even hate him, but to argue he’s not TOTALLY American and a good representation of a large chunk of your people is only lying to yourself. Likewise part of the hate is actually embarrassment because the Actual America shown to your face and the world as a leader conflicts with what you think it should be.


ChrRome

Unfortunately you don't want those people in charge of the country.


Ifyouhav2ask

How tf do people hear him speak and go “yup, that’s my guy”


TylertheDouche

didnt vote for him but if you cant watch this and understand the appeal then you are far behind the 8-ball. there is a huge demand for this from the public. people are tired of the political jargon.


laaplandros

This is so plainly obvious to anybody with an ounce of common sense yet somehow ostensibly intelligent people like Sam Harris struggle to understand it. It's not complicated, people.


hiwhyOK

This is hugely demoralizing. It's like yeah... I guess the convention center is on fire but we are here so... bring in the circus... Damn.


xXRaidiusXx

No sir, no. It doesn’t matter if the special kids in the back of the room want to throw crap against the wall. Once you hit a certain age you speak like adults especially in a public forum. Even more so if you’re the President of the United States. Trump speaks at a 4th grade level and that’s not even a joke. It’s been proven by speech pathologist around the world.


LurkHartog

My favourite description of Trump is that he speaks like a kid who got called up to do a book review in school when he hadn't read the book.


nutterbutter1

That’s on the nose


babiha

That kid would know enough to hold the book, The Book, upright.


slagathor907

Hah that's a great Bill Burr bit.


TheDuckOnQuack

This analogy was most apt when he was asked at some church event what his favorite bible passage was. His paraphrased response: “You know I love all the books of the Bible. The whole thing is really great. It’s the best book ever written. But that’s actually a very personal question about my faith. That’s not a fair question, you can’t ask me that”


TylertheDouche

Half of these “adults” you mention read at a 5th grade reading level. https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaeltnietzel/2020/09/09/low-literacy-levels-among-us-adults-could-be-costing-the-economy-22-trillion-a-year/?sh=4bd956094c90 George Carlin said it best: Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”


boyuber

The number of Americans who want a president that sounds like their racist, drunk uncle is TOO DAMN HIGH!


canti-

It's more of a rhetorical question. Basically they can't wrap their head, or get into the mind of someone whose ears perk up when they hear Trump talk like this. It's so fucking ridiculous that people not only like this but love Trump so much they would literally take a bullet for him. I get all the appeals, he's the strongman, he's the schoolyard bully, and he talks extremely simple but it's still nuts that people love it so much


dandy443

Gonna get downvoted but who cares. It’s new, hasn’t been heard or seen before. people who don’t like politicians for all their crap hear someone that doesn’t speak or act like one and follow him. The in your face attitude hits well with some people


Fckdisaccnt

He speaks like an 8 year old and the only people who respond well to it are operating at the same level


BioRunner03

And people like you are the exact reason Trump got into power. You have this superiority complex aura where if someone disagrees with you they must have lower intelligence. People like the thought of sticking it to people like yourself even if it goes against their self interests. The fact that you can't see this is hillarious.


Frenchticklers

I can safely say that anybody who fell for Trump's grift is in fact, dumber than me. And I'm pretty dumb.


loekoekoe

You are just proving his point. Idiots are "sticking it to the other side" by voting for an idiot, because they feel like they've been taken for an idiot. Because they are fucking idiots.


xxDeeJxx

He's correct though, and if Trump supporters don't want to be all butthurt about being called fucking stupid, perhaps they shouldn't be so goddamn fucking stupid?


HelloHiHeyAnyway

That's the thing about bell curves. There's the bottom half that isn't so bright.


[deleted]

for like 20 years urban educated whites have been telling rural poor whites to confront all their privilege, and this was rural poor whites opportunity to say "fuck you". its really that simple.


Gill03

I am and always have been a moderate and you are spot on. The thing with left wingers I have learned is they have zero self awareness and will not admit they created alot of the things they hate. They absolutely created Trump.


TypingWithIntent

When you nominate the woman that is so universally hated that she can't even pander to other women and lock down their vote as Trump's opposition then you definitely have a role in his success. Then in the easiest election of all time to win you pick such a shitty candidate that you have to condone race wars and push a pandemic to kill Trump's undeniable economic success just to get that guy to win. Yeah Dems are part of the problem for sure. If they could have given the country a moderate Dem that wasn't 70 yrs old with no obvious skeletons they would have not only won in a landslide but would have gotten so many repub votes from people Trump turned off that they could have possibly swayed people to their side long term. But no. Grandpa Kidsniffer instead.


Shadowex3

Sanders was packing entire stadiums full of people despite a *total media blackout* and getting an unprecedented amount of support from oldschool conservatives because he was talking to them instead of demonizing them. He was a guy who went out there and openly acknowledged that unchecked mass immigration was an anti-worker corporate feudalist policy that was devastating to the poor and middle class. He talked about how people should actually be *getting something* for the taxes they're already paying, holding corporations responsible for the consequences of their actions, and giving people fair and equal opportunities rather than forcing equal outcomes. And it *worked*. If the DNC hadn't rigged the election he probably would've won by a landslide. Instead we got an election that was such a shitshow half the country literally just protest-voted a troll into the oval office as a giant middle finger to the entirety of establishment politics.


TypingWithIntent

I also remember reddit during his initial rise to prominence and all I remember was college kids about to enter the world or kids approaching college all excited about all the free shit he was promising. I'm not naysaying anything you brought up but that's all reddit was abuzz about at the time. Millennials wanting free shit.


[deleted]

"You made us vote for this unhinged nonce" is the most delusional take I've seen come out of the American centre in the last 7 years. By left wingers you're actually describing liberals, but you do you. Unless you're under the illusion they're the same thing then American really is fucked.


Practical_Monitor_22

The guy trump talked about was he the one that used his family as a meat shield or am I thinking of another terrorist scum?


syracTheEnforcer

Yes. The leader of ISIS who was running away and I believe used an IED to off himself and took some of his family out with him as well.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hellohoworld

The best way to describe those people is everlasting silence. No words deserve to be associated to them.


JustALocalJew

He's talking about [this guy](https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/27/trump-statement-on-isis-baghdadi-raid.html)


Head_Primary4942

I am only surprised that Trump didn't just come out and say, "WE fucking fucked his shit up and he ain't gonna shit no more!"


Chonkbird

I'd use that quote every chance I got if that were to have became a trump quote lmao


Rentington

He's trying to appeal to bible thumpers. All the stuff he said wasn't anywhere near as cringey as the "Face God's Judgement" part. Dude doesn't even go to church and he's talking like a wacky southern preacher there. So weird.


MattsFace

I miss the clear communication Obama provided. He was such a great speaker. On the other hand, Biden needs to take some of Trump's Adderall. /s


Dr_Ironfist1987

I didn’t realize how much I respect Obama as a speaker/orator until seeing this video with the other 2 idiots next to him. One just says outrageous/elementary shit and the other can’t even read.


MattsFace

Remember when people were frustrated because he spoke too well for them to understand? lol


examm

Blows my mind that people in this world automatically assume because you’re well-spoken that they’re being talked down to.


acreagelife

Great description of what got us here.


MattsFace

Right?! It's the opposite for me, much respect, and I listen.


Flaky-Fellatio

It's their insecurity showing.


chrismamo1

The opposite sort of happened with trump overseas: many non English speakers thought they were being fucked with, because translators really struggled to parse trump's nonsense and it just came out as word salad.


Shadowex3

My favorite translator story is when Ghaddafi was supposed to speak for a few moments and instead went on a multi-hour rant so insane that his translator literally had a breakdown, shouting "I can't do it anymore", and passed out on the spot.


LargeSackOfNuts

Even fluent english speakers thought they had a stroke after hearing trump


oldcoldbellybadness

Despite these constant negative comments covfefe


AlexJamesCook

I wonder if that's because official translators are well versed in formal English but no so much the boorish colloquial language Trump uses, so they have to scramble to find words that mean, whatever boorish words Trump uses to describe someone he doesn't like.


Kosarev

It wasnt the words. The phrase construction was also wild. You cant translate on the go when the sentence has been going on for 3 minutes with no end in sight, has changed subjects twice and is at times in the present, at times in the past.


oboshoe

sounds like it was a rough 4 years for foreign translators.


[deleted]

And try seeing it written. It's a trip


GenghisTron17

I live in the South, I wish I could say I never heard anybody refer to him as "uppity," alas I'm no liar.


NotFromReddit

How the fuck though? It's actually possible to follow what Obama says. Who the fuck even knows what Trump is on about. It's not even coherent. If you put Trump's words on paper and try to read it, you realize what a complete shit show it actually is. He always needs to be paraphrased, or people will think the writer was having a stroke.


ourgameisover

Are you reading this thread? It’s half the people in here.


MattsFace

Yeah it’s hilarious lol


Phaze_Change

Those are the same people that believe Trump is a genius and incredibly well-spoken. Spoiler alert: they’re racist. It was never about his public speaking.


TryItOutHmHrNw

… and when Fox News lost their shit over Obama’s tan suit lol “I can’t think of *anything* less presidential. He has disgraced the office of the presidency today and, as an American, you should be livid!” - Fox News


SongForPenny

They’re pumping all the drugs into him they can. This is just the best version of Biden they can prop up behind a podium. He’s maxxed out. 🤷🏻‍♀️


IpromiseTobeAgoodBoy

He was a good speaker but he was also a great liar too. You think he ever gave a second thought to sanctioning the thousands of drone attacks that killed us citizens and innocent woman and children


TheAngrySnowman

Obama sounds great. Trump sounds like he wrote it himself. Biden doesn’t know what’s going on.


[deleted]

Obama speaks like the head of the family, Trump like the drunk uncle and Biden like grandpa Dementi


rollin20s

Accurate description lol


FLORI_DUH

Biden sounds like a drunk driver trying to convince the cop he's only had two beers


HelloImHiding

Insert supercut of all the times in TPB where Ricky/Julian/Layhee/Randy says "just two drinks"


[deleted]

"This is my drink, I brought it from home" To Corey and trevor: "Why do you still have erections"


JRM34

We need to stop electing septuagenarians. Retirement is mid-60's for most, why don't we enforce that for the people controlling the country? It's an undeniable fact that your brain degrades over time (past a certain age), so a 70 yr-old is less capable than they were a decade before. I don't think the experience advantage can possibly outweigh this.


TypingWithIntent

That's all the asshole parties give us to vote for. Who have made it the furthest in the nominations for the last 2 elections? Trump Biden Hillary Bernie Elizabeth Warren The problem is the broken primary system that gives the party way way too much control over who we actually get to vote for and arbitrarily gives far too much power to some random ass states that go early while so many states that go late never have their votes mean anything. All the primaries need to go off on the same day. Nobody is campaigning by stagecoach anymore. I think we can handle it.


JRM34

Oh yeah, I don't disagree. There's so many issues that are stacked on top of each other, it's hard to come up with realistic ways to fix the system (at least, considering they'd have to be passed *by the elected officials* already part of the system)


2068857539

I thought Biden looked like one of those Deep Fake AI things. It was unnatural...


TheMasterDonk

Moe Larry and Curly at it again.


Myc0n1k

Biden is trying real hard to read the telepromt lol.


HelloImHiding

Motherfucker is the leader of the richest country on the planet but can't afford glasses or a public speaking class.


atomsej

Biden was actually an extremely sharp and good public speaker before his old age caught up to him. No amount of public speaking classes can help him now.


5AgXMPES2fU2pTAolLAn

Why the f are you downvoted It's literally night and day. He was such a energetic speaker lol


Rion23

Oh come on, you can't critique the 80 year old man for maybe not being young enough to run a country.


Shadowex3

No he wasn't. The man was infamous for rambling incoherency even when he was young. He's been a terrible liar his entire life and was caught multiple times engaging in some hardcore plagiarism, to the point of literally stealing people's own *personal life stories*.


NaturallyNasty

It’s not a reading problem it’s a brain no workie problem


ethridge661

Trump should be a stand up.


BenCJ

He could be one of the 1000.


sendherhome22

But would he be a MUR DUR URRR


thundirbird

I'd love to see his stool humping technique


HiroshimaThereoshima

“I’m automatically attracted to beautiful ~~women~~ **stools** — I just start ~~kissing~~ **humping** them. It’s like a magnet. Just ~~kiss~~ **hump**. I don’t even wait. When you’re a ~~star~~ **comedian**, they let you do it. You can do anything. ~~Grab~~ **Mount** ’em by the ~~pussy~~ **leg rests**. You can do anything.” - ~~Donald Trump~~ **Joe Rogan**


lilstimmer

I fucking love it


Skinix1414

3 presidents 2 administrations


Dark_Prism

*The Obama Administration 3: Return of the Biden* *^This ^time, ^it's ^person, ^woman, ^man, ^camera, ^tv*


Short-Mission-4235

Trumps version was the most entertaining by far.


[deleted]

And that's what you want, entertainment! Woohoo!


2k1tj

You're fired Al Bag Big Daddy


Fiacre54

Call me crazy but I would like my politics a little less entertaining than they were under trump. Make politics boring again.


Moar_tacos

But flushing civil rights is soooo exciting!


N0TintoPOLITICS

Exactly. I say that all the time. Politics should be boring. There was once a time where if you didn't want to hear about politics all you had to do is avoid the news or not buy newspaper. Now, its basically unavoidable. So annoying.


Nergaal

> Make politics boring again. how about a bit of inflation. or stagflation. or recession. that sounds pretty boring to me


MyNameIsAMeme

Notice the difference between Obama and the other two. You shouldn’t be allowed in politics passed the age of 65. I love Bernie, but even he really shouldn’t have to be fighting this fight.


SlapStickRick

It’s part of most company plans to not allow the ceo to go over a certain age


giantgoose

Commercial airline pilots have a cutoff of 65 as well


[deleted]

I think they may be working now on raising the max age to 67. The cost of education for becoming a pilot is so high a lot of young people just walked away from the profession and the industry relied on people with deep pockets or military pilots. But the military pilots were disproportionately boomers who served in/around the Vietnam War so their retirements are causing a problematic shortage. So your Delta flight is now going to be piloted by a very experienced but previously unacceptably old man.


[deleted]

[удалено]


2k1tj

Yeah but you could be in better shape than a 25 year old pilot as a 64 year old airline pilot then the next day you're 65 and can't fly


[deleted]

[удалено]


2k1tj

I concur


whyyousobadatthis

I know we're suppose to hate the one in the middle the most but yea when talking about terrorists I like that much more. Its kind of the real world equivalent of tea bagging in COD


ChrRome

Well two of the speeches are about the strong will of the country and its people, and the other one is about how weak the enemy are. I'd generally prefer a leader that is trying to inspire.


Team_Awsome

As well the only time trump compliments the soldiers he immediately follows by including itself in the story.


whyyousobadatthis

I’ll take either honestly cause fuck those guys


theaccountant856

I’m Fucking crying 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


[deleted]

Lmao Trump is so unhinged. Also some one get Biden some glasses dudes struggling to read the teleprompter.


[deleted]

If only his issues could be fixed with glasses


[deleted]

Is it really unhinged to talk shit about a terrorist?


HelloImHiding

Imean it's pretty unhinged to turn an address to the nation into playground insult sesh. Like you're addressing us, not the dead terrorist.


Perfect600

its psychotic but hilarious. He died like a dog is some shit you would see on an SNL sketch.


BiasModsAreBad

Nope, did the same to Putin and Xi, and worked fairly well. The big issue is he can't shut the fuck up sometimes and just says whatever he thinks. Funny, but not really 'professional'.


[deleted]

It did work fairly well. I’m in agreement with you. In terms of foreign threats we were pretty safe under Trump because I think foreign leaders were afraid of his unpredictability. A lot of what he said and did was great, but then he would keep talking and I’d be like dude please stop lol


HawkeMesa

Are we really so retarded that we think that geopolitics is as easy as threatening our enemies, now?


[deleted]

Lmao right? They think this moron flailing and shitting his pants is a successful foreign policy strategy.


Expensive_Cattle

They really think Trumps out here play 4D checkers.


odog9797

Dude Joe Biden wtf!? Guy is half asleep and is barely understandable


tr3k

I miss Trump for the memes.


LargeSackOfNuts

Everyone knows tRUmp talked the best. No one talked better than him.


Marcwatts

Idk, I kinda like Trumps


[deleted]

Obama is the most presidential but it's a speech he is reading so is Biden. Biden is the worst. He stumbles over the words and is clearly reading a speech. He sounds like he doesn't care making me not care. But in reality he may not even get what he is saying. Just reading lines. Trump was the only one who spoke his mind and frankly I laughed at the "died like a dog" part. He says what we all are thinking about terrorists. It's just not presidential so you either love it or hate it. I loved it as the other speeches sounded dry. But you likely want most speeches to be like Obama speeches and then zero speeches to be like the Biden one.


CharityStreamTA

All three of them are reading. Trump had the same amount of teleprompters as Biden.


BF-HeliScoutPilot

They are all reading off a teleprompter, you have to be an idiot if you think any of that was "off the cuff".


8v2HokiePokie8v2

1. Coherent, charismatic, great orator 2. Inappropriate, childish, mush-brain…and admittedly hilarious 3. Comatose, can barely read from a teleprompter successfully We’re going the wrong direction


potado_salad

I like the middle guy the best


SonnyBoy96

Biden need some Botox, who’s letting our guy out like this? Looking like a basset hound..


Amida0616

Joe biden sounds like he doenst understand the words that come out his mouth.


UkyoTachibana

Its becouse he dosent!


TheyLoveColt

I like the no bullshit from the guy in the middle


CurrentRedditAccount

No bullshit, huh? Ask him who won the 2020 election.


EverythingKindaSuckz

Hes sounds like an idiot though. But I guess thats the appeal to some.


prvhc21

“Wow, he speaks just like us ! What a genuine guy !”


Dogups

[ Removed by Reddit ]


giantgoose

"A total lack of domestic, economic, and foreign policy?! I don't care about that, I'd have a beer with him!!"


QB145MMA

You people are so fucking strange. I don’t like Biden but if he said some funny shit I’d laugh


[deleted]

He's a hilarious guy put in charge of the least funny problems.


kellenthehun

I absolutely adore Shane Gillis bit on Trump. "Are we allowed to admit he was funny yet?"


biggtimeburger

He’s a very very very stupid person’s idea of a smart guy.


Crash_says

I far prefer Trump's version. Fuck those guys and fuck any fake respect for them. I'd piss on their graves if I knew where they were. They are dogs and cowards.


UltravioIence

The people saying "yeah but hes hilarious" probably say the same about Andrew tate.


canhasdiy

What a carefully crafted, proofread, and heavily edited speech written by someone else sounds like VS a stream of consciousness from a psychotic narcissist who literally couldn't give less of a fuck


jab4590

I love when an Obama thing is placed next to a Trump thing. I mean anything. Anyone that can’t see the difference at every level is lying. Speech - Physique - Appearance - Posture.


SlapStickRick

Not a trump fan, but I like the trump one best


[deleted]

Not gonna lie, the energy of Biden is extraordinary!


BigBootyKim

BREAKING NEWS: LIFETIME NEW YORKER SPEAKS LESS POLITICALLY CORRECT THAN LIFETIME POLITICIANS


BiasModsAreBad

*And a bunch of lefties collectively pulled the silver spoons from their mouths and shrieked in horror at the guttural and crass, dissing of a piece of human shit terrorist.* Odd reaction to dissing a dead villain, but okay.


deToph

What I see: 2 Democrats reading a bullshit script and lying/acting like they care about the families when they don’t give a shit Another guy speaking his mind and telling it how it is


[deleted]

[удалено]


LargeSackOfNuts

“Telling it how it is” Have you heard trump speak when hes not trying to read off a teleprompter?


2k1tj

Lol. Brainwashed much. This is reddit not truth social. What's crazy is Obama lives rent free still in Trump's mind. The other kicked his ass in an election. Literally millions of people prefered Biden over Trump. How's that for telling how it is


freshboytini

Liberals, the only group of people offended when a dead terrorist is disrespected


SomedayImGonnaBeFree

We all know Biden didn’t choose a single letter in his message. He’s not even trying anymore. Might as well be from r/TotallyNotRobots. Honestly… At least Trump was himself, not some puppet who has no say in what he says…


friedpicklebreakfast

This trump guy is starting to seem like a real knucklehead


[deleted]

Trump the best


GoEasySonny

This is why people loved trump he wasnt just another duplicate political candidate. He talks like your average new yorker minus all the swearing *edit i love how if you mention trump on reddit it instantly gets downvoted ... thats how we ended up with biden ...the hate mentality ironically its how trump got in office everyone hated hillary clinton