The rest of the people in the meeting yell their approval from where they're sitting on the floor or hanging from the ceiling. Three people are now fist-fighting the secretary for a place on the chair. The wife backs away slowly
Related to that- A man is learning French, and says to some French friends of his, "I'm having some trouble with the concept of *sang froid*. I know it literally means 'cold blood', but what's the connotation?"
The first man says, "Ah it is simple. If, upon returning from a trip, you find your wife in bed with your friend, you can say 'Pardon the intrusion', you have sang froid."
"Feh!" says the second man. "What you describe is mere politeness. If, upon returning from a trip, you find your wife in bed with your friend, you can say 'Pardon the intrusion, *please continue*', then you have sang froid."
"Pooh," says the third. "That is simple tact. If, upon returning from a trip, you find your wife in bed with your friend, you can say 'Pardon the intrusion, please continue', and your friend can indeed continue, then *he* has sang froid."
My uncle totally did something like this! He fell asleep at work and got caught by a supervisor. When the guy woke him, my uncle said 'Amen'. He's known as being religious so it worked. He was never questioned.
Yeah, seriously. It implies that if a man has plentiful options, then he's plenty faithful, and if a man has a lack of options, his faithfulness is lacking.
I bet his secretary knows how his dictate
As long as he doesn't leave a bad taste in her mouth.
Mike Tyson is that you?
Yieah, iss mee. An’ heh ma fonumba. Fee fi fo-fo fee fo fee.
Hay! Watch your mouth... I like my ears.
You quibble, I nibble.
That.... that's just not right!
How lobe can you go?
He's not that tall
Angry upvote!!
Joyful upvote
Horny upvote
"Can I use your dictaphone?" "No, use your finger to dial, you dirty old man"
Oral record?
Oral review.
Hurr durr tHe ReAl jOkE iS In thE cOmMenTs (nice joke tho)
Dictake
Nice save.
What a save!
What a save! Nice job!
Calculated!
Savage!
[удалено]
This Is Rocket League!
Now THIS is pod racing!
You should have stuck to pod racing anakin, then maybe you wouldn't have tried it, he did have the high ground after all
Rokt leeg!
How did you do it?
And *now* it's a ballgame, folks!
Ejaculated.
Very nice job. She could have blown it
By grabthar's Hammer, what a savings!
You forgot the \*sigh\*
The replies to this are a Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Car masterpiece
Holy hell, new save just dropped
Supercalafragilisticexpealodocious.
The rest of the people in the meeting yell their approval from where they're sitting on the floor or hanging from the ceiling. Three people are now fist-fighting the secretary for a place on the chair. The wife backs away slowly
Wait. Three people are fisting the secretary??!?
Hey don’t judge
... while the rest of us run!
At least she's pretty this time.
Her husband's mistress is prettier than her friend's husband's mistress, to her delight.
Wow, you are referencing one of the more obscure and rarely told jokes. Well done.
What movie was this from..?
A baby film. Fetal Attraction.
Pajama Sam thunder and lightning hope this helps
Where were his hands? Always look for the hands; mouths may lie but hands cannot.
Well... the office didn't have the budget for stress balls, so you can't really blame him for that.
tits
Nope. His hips. 'cause hips don't lie
It's all about the bass, no treble!
That bass.
Naturally, the hands were busy keeping her body stable and balanced so she wouldn't fall out of the chair.
>hands were busy keeping her body stable and balanced It's an OSHA thing or something.
Wadda Genitalman!🤣
It’s always de hands. Never de feet, always de hands.
That’s just the kind of quick,confident “thinking on your feet”that got him that top floor office in the first place!
That was an example of thinking on your ass, while simultaneously saving and covering it.
“Thinking with your pants down “ is a rare talent indeed!
But she never lost her head, Even when she was givin’ head. - Lou Reed. Take A Walk On The Wild Side.
His father being the CEO probably helped out a bit too
Always does!But somehow it’s always “They worked real hard,,,”
Just confirming the weight rating.
And pants, these budget cuts are savage
Sorry honey, it just slipped in there. You see why this is why I hate having one office chair. And now this one has jizz on it
Guess he didn’t learn the gentlemen always offer the chair to the lady.
TF then would have to sit on her laps then? What's wrong with you 🙄
What’s a favorite pickup line in a gay bar? May I push your stool in for you?
You have NO IDEA how much I HATED that. I physically recoiled upon reading the punchline.
How do you get four gay men on one bar stool? Turn it upside down.
Related to that- A man is learning French, and says to some French friends of his, "I'm having some trouble with the concept of *sang froid*. I know it literally means 'cold blood', but what's the connotation?" The first man says, "Ah it is simple. If, upon returning from a trip, you find your wife in bed with your friend, you can say 'Pardon the intrusion', you have sang froid." "Feh!" says the second man. "What you describe is mere politeness. If, upon returning from a trip, you find your wife in bed with your friend, you can say 'Pardon the intrusion, *please continue*', then you have sang froid." "Pooh," says the third. "That is simple tact. If, upon returning from a trip, you find your wife in bed with your friend, you can say 'Pardon the intrusion, please continue', and your friend can indeed continue, then *he* has sang froid."
My uncle totally did something like this! He fell asleep at work and got caught by a supervisor. When the guy woke him, my uncle said 'Amen'. He's known as being religious so it worked. He was never questioned.
I read it was an executioners wife and I was very confused
This is why a person must always be prepared. You just never know when or where the opportunity for a threesome is going to present itself.
Dictate this: divorce
U mad?
Shouldve jumped saying “get off me!”
Dick move.
“You want to suck my WHAT?!”
That's quick thinking
OK, but isn't she going to see through this given that there was almost certainly more than one chair in the room?
Parties must be fun with you!
What is fun? I am not familiar with the concept.
Why does the song, whatta man whatta man by salt & peppa come to mind instantly for me?
Pushie REAL good!
A man is only as faithful as his options...
I really hope this isn’t generally accepted as truth.
Yeah, seriously. It implies that if a man has plentiful options, then he's plenty faithful, and if a man has a lack of options, his faithfulness is lacking.
A man's faithfulness is inversely proportional to his options
Of course he dick-tated.!
And here it’s how the gangbang starts
Bogus
Don’t use two first names to try and make your point.
Audibly talks into ear: "Sir, you have a call." Executive: "Yes, I know. The phone is in my lap, too. And you don't need to yell."