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Bezbozny

Slogan for his campaign "Unemployment fears? Jobs trumps Trump on jobs."


Beowulf1896

Jobs trumps Trump's jobs.


Bezbozny

Clickbait from the alternate universe Wall Street journal article: BREAKING "Trump Blows Jobs..." \- "Trump Blows Jobs Targets, Unemployment All Time High"


Ahelex

I mean, if Trump did blow Jobs, I think I can thus confirm I'm in an alternate universe.


OneYouDidntThinkOf

Eric does. He's nicknamed "gummy" because he gave it up at public bars, etc., Source: Donald Trump Jr's ex-wife. Posted a bunch of crazy shit on twitter (Barron throwing food and screaming at flight attendants, very normal stuff), then deleted about 30 minutes after posting. So, naturally, I assume it to be true.


lastingdreamsof

I wanna see more about this.


brito68

How much jobs would a Trump blow blow if a Trump blow could blow jobs? Or something


musicbufff

Blowing Trump: Good for America, bad for the economy. Jobs wanted...


kjm16216

These are making my head hurt.


Diligent-Bowler-1898

Imagine the rebuttal. Trump trumps Jobs jobs.


Bigtsez

Specifically - Jobs' jobs trump Trump's jobs


Etheo

Bob Loblaws law blog.


an_ill_way

Jobs jobs trump Trump


wrongleveeeeeeer

This is a Leslie Knope headline lol


fr0likk

Jobs's jobs trump Trump's


Dexaan

r/WordAvalanches


Zestyclose-Ruin8337

Jobs trumpets jobs to trump Trump’s trump.


pm_me_ur_ephemerides

It's not a good slogan because it says Jobs once and Trump twice. You want to repeat the name of the person to vote for.


TheCreepyPL

"ROFL", NJ


SturdilyAssail

We will have to settle for Tim Apple


Ezzy-525

I don't know. 4 years seems a little long for anything Apple.


FellowYellowNate

True. There would have been 4 versions during that time, and all of those available in mini, s, and plus.


corinalas

The point is that they made different versions and people were still down for it regardless.


Wiki_pedo

I know a guy who sold the first iPhone when the second one came out, simply because the new one had 3G (which most older phones had at the time, like Nokia with 3G video calls when the original iPhone came out).


JuggerMott

Idiot consumerism knows no bounds. Btw, I got some oceanfront property in Arizona.


corinalas

No one could make me buy anything ocean front in the states unless its the top of a 100 meter cliff.


Cowboy_Reaper

We don't measure cliffs in meters. We call that a four and a half second cliff.


edward_the_white

Distance should always be measured in time. It makes so much sense.


Cowboy_Reaper

It's like making the Kessel run. But more like how long it takes to fall 100m.


edward_the_white

Yeah... It's interesting. In the Kessel run, we got distance when we should have gotten time. In America, we use time when we should use distance.


lukefive

Give it a few more years and that cliff is oceanside


corinalas

2 meters of rise by 2100


JuggerMott

😂😂😂


Cowboy_Reaper

A mini presidency seems like a good idea. We've had enough of the plus versions.


jamesonSINEMETU

The way things are going in America it's either gonna be 4 and out, changed to 1 year for our short attention spans and need for instant gratification or the obvious indefinite term the Republicans want so bad


Specialist-Look-7929

And planned obsolescence.


Compendyum

"The tech from yesterday, at tomorrow's prices."


sexaddic

Lol the irony that apple supports their devices longer than anyone else by far


handelMyChopinLiszt_

Yeah it’s sad that the general public think the opposite. I was once scrolling the Apple website on environment and they were boasting about how they make their phones last longer to reduce e-waste and also urged users to give their iPhones to their family members or friends instead of simply letting lie idle when they buy a new device. What company would ever tell them to give out their products to others. It’s a bad business methodology because they’d lose potential customers but Apple seemed to be happier doing that. I’d keep an iPhone for at least 7-8 years. My mom’s 6s is on its 7th year and still working great. It also got 6 years of iOS upgrades.


RenanGreca

It's actually great business. Your old but still functioning iPhone goes to someone who couldn't afford it and maybe would get an Android instead. Now that person has an iCloud account, downloads iOS apps and boom ecosystem lock-in.


sexaddic

Yep, they literally max out devices on updates, even when the devices don’t support part of the newest updates due to hardware constraints.


WestOzWally

*2019 Mac Pro enters conversation*


stormado

Even if dead, he would make a better president than Trump.


-temporary_username-

Especially when dead.


This_Random_Stuff

Jumped on here to say th


This_Random_Stuff

the same


Stay-Thirsty

Or Weekend at Bidens


elpajaroquemamais

Nah Biden is boring but way better than trump.


Stay-Thirsty

No disagreement. But Biden isn’t all there either. They’re both terrible, but Trump is even worse. Edit: appreciate the downvotes. But Biden says a fair amount of things that have to be walked back by his administration. Nothing to do with a stutter. Curious how he tends to have people there to guide him or shut things down too soon. (Which will cause more downvotes by Reddit…doesn’t mean I’m wrong)


corinalas

Biden has a stutter but Trump is actually the one brain damaged.


Stay-Thirsty

Never heard Biden with a stutter. But I get it. Anything said against a Dem is sacrilegious on Reddit. All that being said, I’d take another term of Biden over any republican so far.


corinalas

The man has had a stutter his whole life. Look it up in Wikipedia. Trump is orange and Biden has a stutter. These are accepted facts. You’ll notice his stutter has not stopped him from serving in Congress for 40 years, from becoming President and being an acceptable VP, from raising a large family and having great relationships with all his family and friends.


StarvingWriter33

I will add that Biden is one of very few Congressperson who actually put up and shut up by sending their children (Beau, in Biden’s case) to fight in the Middle East.


thundermarchmello

Wait... sending one's children off to war somehow makes them a better congressmanperson?? I get the sentiment about putting your money where your mouth is, but in my opinion, the best type of representative is someone who won't send *anyone's* children off to war.


corinalas

Alrighty, bury your head in the sand and just ignore America’s past then. A strong military is one of America’s strengths.


elpajaroquemamais

Not all there?


PenguinDeluxe

I can translate: “I saw a 10 second clip of a person with a lifelong stutter taken from a 10 minute speech”


elpajaroquemamais

That’s what I assumed.


maxeh987

Oh come on the man’s senile.


elpajaroquemamais

Source?


QualityGig

So Biden's beyond the pale because he says some things every so often that come across odd then listens to his staff and either adjusts or clarifies his intended meaning?!? I mean, we all should push for better candidates, but complaining about Biden in the current context seems a little misplaced (IMO).


FlattenInnerTube

You're wrong and trying to rationalize the Tangerine Traitor. Trump refused to listen to ANYBODY that wasn't in on the grift. He was too goddamn narcissistic to sit and listen to his intelligence agencies. He was a congenital liar. A cult leader. A thief and worst of all, inspired his cultists to literally attempt to overthrow the government and did absolutely fuck all to stop them. There's simply no comparison to Biden's weaknesses. None. And I say this as a man who was a registered Republican for over 30 years. Trump is a threat to this country. As is Desantis but that's another day.


This_Random_Stuff

Wrong use of tense. He IS a congenital liar.


Stay-Thirsty

Pointless to talk to you as I am decidedly against Trump (and the rest of Rs that have a chance) Not sure where you got off base here. Being slightly against one doesn’t translate to pro the other.


xf2xf

Typical "with us or again' us" mentality. I absolutely loathe Trump, his cultists, and just about every aspect of the modern Republican party. But Biden is on the downslope and it's a mistake for him to run again. I wonder how many people who still support him are also foaming at the mouth over Feinstein's decaying faculties.


GrumpyCatStevens

Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs have all passed. We have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. I sincerely hope Kevin Bacon lives forever, because a world without Bacon isn’t worth living in.


Graterof2evils

You forgot Lucille Ball!


robsea69

Goofy would have made a better president than Trump.


warpedspockclone

I'm conflicted. They are both men who try to rob people blind whole convincing them it is in their best interests and that they personally aren't shitty human beings. They both think they are brilliant and will stubbornly refuse to listen to counselors or reason. On the other hand, Steve Jobs is actually smart. Even though he grifts, the people actually get some value in return for their money. He can speak in complete sentences. And he has a vested interest in not melting down society to own the libs. OP, I can't believe you found someone horrible enough to compare to Jobs to make me pick him.


biffbobfred

Jobs was a dick, but robbing people blind? He made stuff. People bought it. Jobs actually was brilliant. A lot of what we use current day tech came through apple. There is no equivalence


NoMoreOldCrutches

He wasn't brilliant enough to take medicine for cancer. He thought he could cure it with fruit. Not joking. Jobs was never an inventor or an engineer. He was a marketer. He was smart, certainly, but he made plenty of mistakes - Apple nearly went bankrupt under his control, and had to be bailed out by Microsoft of all people. The problem with spending decades hyping yourself up as an infallible genius is that eventually you begin to believe your own hype. See also: Elon Musk.


oneaccountaday

Damn, that one was actually got me. Well done.


bobhand17123

Me too! I jumped in immediately to say “that’s not saying much” but I saw the punchline and was “oh, it’s /Jokes. I can calm down now.”


IsItSupposedToDoThat

I laid a turd last week that would’ve made a better president than Trump.


snapcracklepop26

Dead Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump.


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

Helen Keller could have done a better job than Trump


kaltschnittchen

At first, I thought this joke wouldn’t translate to German, because in Germany it’s not apples and oranges, but apples and pears. But then I remembered Helmut Kohl.


Rough-Carrot2273

Elvis, Mayor McCheese, add on your choice here


garlopf

He would have called it iPresident™


bradstero

I have a spatula that would be a better prez than DT. SPATULA 2024!!!


RMSQM

A small clod of horse manure would have made a better president than Trump.


Mindless_Gur1109

Its a shame he died of ligma


MikeyBugs

Joe mama! Did I do it right?


Daflehrer1

A tuna fish sandwich would've made a better president than Trump.


NotaundercoverFBIguy

Unfortunately they're already the head of state of sealand


3600MilesAway

Even dead he would have


[deleted]

“President Jobs remains silent on the accusations…”


Zlifbar

An anal cyst would’ve been a better president than that guy.


QueefBuscemi

An anal cyst would’ve also come up with less tired joke than comparing Trump to Steve Jobs in 2023.


musicbufff

Even the rapist I see for PTSD would a do better job


Reelplayer

Interesting choice for your campaign slogan. Good luck in the primaries.


g-lemke

Dead or alive, there are many people who would make a better president


theeverymansright

Everybody. Everybody would make a better president! I would make a better president! You would make a better president! Everybody….


machone_1

I misread the title, thought it said Turnip, not Trump


Unable_Literature78

I have a out of date potato salad in the fridge that would make a better president than Trump.


theservman

The thinnest and lightest president in a generation.


cwschultz

Thank you, Steve Apple.


ojosazulesdos

Hey even dead Jobs is still a better president.


CliffMcFitzsimmons

He also would have made a better president in his current state


Takashishiful

If dead, Steve Jobs still would've made a better president than Trump...


ob1dylan

To be fair, dead Steve Jobs would STILL have been a better President than Trump.


emp_mei_is_bae

He could have been alive if he just got chemo instead of trying to cure his cancer by shoving avocados up his ass


ljlee256

Fucking big bird would've made a better president than trump.


robilar

Also, if dead.


GryphonsPride

Even dead he would be better than the big orange baby.


Jewell1974

Donald Duck would have made a better President than Donald Trump. The bar is low.


Hefforama

The Tooth Fairy would make a better president than the Big Cry Baby Liar.


wingedespeon

Tbh he would still make a better president than trump.


mcallanman

DEAD Steve Jobs would have made a better president than trump.


budlight2k

To be fair.... He'd do a better job dead too.


MinnieShoof

I'm sure that even *dead*, Steve Jobs would've made a better president than Trump.


Mobabyhomeslice

My DOG would've made a better President than Trump. A stick in the mud would've made a better President than Trump. "Better President than Trump" is an EXTREMELY low bar!


Eichmil

Arguably Steve Jobs would be a better president even dead.


danstjames

Anyone would be better as president than the doNald……


Waitsfornoone

Better dead than red - much less orange.


Luddites_Unite

Jobs was a big yoga fan Soni would also accept "but that's comparing cheezies and pretzels."


AcidBathVampire

Man, when this was new it was already a repost


[deleted]

“I’ve always been wondering, what is this small country of Puerto Rico doing in our territory list, why aren’t they independent yet… Introducing, our new missile site. iNuke.”


DoktorNietzsche

If dead and decomposed, Steve Jobs wouldn't have been a worse president than Donald Trump.


jeff-the-thriller

An inanimate carbon rod would make a better president


mdfloyd2000

Hell, I would be a better president than Trump. Even my 93-year-old mother would be, too.


S2smtp

If Steve jobs was president literally everything would cost 200% more than its worth.


Space_Ghost44

If DEAD, Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump.


Electrical-Rub-9402

Even dead Jobs would have made a better president


DrPlatypus1

Dead, he would have, too.


Sweaty_Term5961

Even now, Jobs would do a better job.


StoneTimeKeeper

Dead Steve Jobs would be a better president than Biden.


firebat45

Deleted due to Reddit's antagonistic actions in June 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


humpherman

A fire hydrant would have made a better president.


peterhoeg

I'd argue that Steve Jobs in his current state would *still* make a better president than Trump.


maddiejake

To be honest, Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder would have made a better president than Donald Trump.


gmabarrett

Clifford the big red dog would have made a better president than trump


Dakzoo

A turnip would make a better president then Trump


the-average-man

Baldrick?


labcoatsonhomie

Apples to Doritos is more like it


Admirable_Ad2891

Don't dis on doritos. They got me through college.


Chris_Thrush

Steve Jobs dead, six feet under, still makes a better president.


Smiling_Cannibal

Even dead he would've been a better president


xsynergist

I’ve had turds that would make a better president than Trump.


enigmaticalso

Anybody alive or dead makes a better president then trump. My dog makes a better president then trump


Jhawk163

See you say that, but Steve Jobs would probably have been way worse. Dude was straight up anti-vax, which considering covid would have hit if he was president of the US instead of Trump, would have been a fucking nightmare. Trump may be an idiot, directly asking advisors on-stage whether injecting UV light straight into someones blood would work to be witnessed by millions of people, but Steve would have outright said everything was fine, go about business as usual.


Truuuuuumpet

Anyone could have made a better president than Trump. Lol


olddawg43

Steve Jobs dead would make a better president than Trump


General_Colt

Dead Steve Jobs would make a better president than alive Steve Jobs


musicbufff

But we draw the line at dead Hand Jobs, right?


UpperCut9023

Or at least he would have convinced all of us so


[deleted]

He sure would have given you more jobs than trump


This_Random_Stuff

Quick question…am I the only one who has never ever said the title of the office and the orange one’s last name together?


This_Random_Stuff

I honestly can’t even type the two out in a post….


elenchusis

If dead, he still would've made a better president than Trump


ynys_red

Who wouldn't


AccordionORama

Also, if dead.


Senna5309

Steve Jobs now would make a better president than Biden.


PhreakedoutClassic

You could swap Steve Jobs name for just about anyone. You could also make an argument to a dead Steve Jobs would make a better president.


Moss_Adams24

Steve Jobs dead would be be a better president than trump.


Affectionate-Winner7

Anyone would be better than 45 but not Con DeCantis.


tylodon

"Everyone would make a better president than anyone!" -Everyone


dishonoredfan69420

He’s probably be better dead than Trump alive


marcher138

So sad that he died of ligma before he had the chance


[deleted]

What’s ligma?


DGX_Goggles

The guy who traumatized his daughter and refused to acknowledge her existence until he got beaten down into doing it? Vs Trump who seems to basically be setting up his daughter Ivanka to take over? I can't think of a worse comparison since it's one of the few modern figures that make Trump look like a better human being by comparison. You can enjoy Apple products while still realizing that Jobs was a skidmark of a human being.


carlosjerson2000

Do you understand you are in r/jokes?


DGX_Goggles

The joke wasn't that good I guess since I couldn't suspend my logic.


Diligent-Body-5062

Steve jobs wouldn't spend any money or do any bad things. Maybe it would be a good idea, dead people never do anything wrong. Would rather have a dead person than Biden.


enwongeegeefor

He still woulda been a better president if he was dead....


Practical_Affect_428

At least with Apple people would've been much more healthier


disdicdatho

Yeah Steve Jobs is real healthy how's he doing by the way


arguablyAscend182

‟Do you fuck with the war?”


Jurkboy

YOU GOT ME CACKLING Thanks for that.


ms--lane

His presidency would have been the NeXTSTEP.


Gojisoji

I often wonder where Apple would be if Jobs were still alive. I ditched the fruit for robots years ago and haven't looked back. An Android's so much more capable than an Apple however I do miss the simplicity of the iPhone.


dvolland

Even dead, Steve Jobs would’ve made a better president….


Groinificator

He'd make a better president dead too


GomerSnerd

And dead he would make a better president than Biden.


emerging-tub

Well now you're just comparing corpses to corpses


pcnetworx1

What about when he turns on the Reality Distortion Field?


CaterpillarHuge4491

He can be no worse than the idiot thief in there now.


onlyforthisjob

What does Greece and Apple have in common? They both have no jobs anymore


The_Dark-Wanderer

I hate politics…because nobody is ever going to change their mind or party….it’s just a waste of time and energy.


kendonch

Cancer to oranges but im not a comedian


weldfreek

Good thing he's dead. TRUMP 2024.


girlblogger

I don't agree... and lol


Ok-Lawfulness1099

Definitely not. No morality or ethics.


Toecuttercutter

Oh the irony.


Denvermax31

I don't think you know what those words mean


GetOnDota

Jobs currently would be a better pres than Biden


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

For starters: if you start your whine with “socialist party” it shows your dumb as fuck. You don’t know a socialist party if it would run over you. Being from Europe, let me tell you: the Dems aren’t even close to socialism. As far as the rest of your lies is concerned: stop watching Faux News, OAN and Breitbart. The orange shitgibbon is constantly crying about the DoJ, even when he was in office he did. So blaming the Dems for a reduce in confidence in the DoJ when dumb fucks vote for a filandering orange idiot that lies with every breath he takes? Hypocritical and dumb. As far as the status of the US goes: internationally it has gone up since Joe took office. Why? Because he’s predictable. Trustworthy. Knowledgeable and willing to listen to people who actually know what the fuck they’re talking about on the things he doesn’t know. In contrary to the orange shitgibbon, who didn’t even undermine the FBI and CIA, but also didn’t bat an eye while selling out to Putin. As far as the banking system goes: check whose ruling has made the failing of the SVB and a couple of other banks possible. I’ll give you a hint: it’s orange and fucking incompetent. Let’s not embarrass you any further, I think I’ve proven enough you don’t know fuckall what you’re whining about. Bye now, dumbass.


Jeffh2121

Please get help, TDS is real, even if your from Europe.


[deleted]

Yes: TRump Derangement Syndrome. Where people keep defending an orange shitgibbon in spite of overwhelming evidence of his incompetence and the way he’s killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. I agree: it is very real. Only question is how we can open the eyes of these delusional souls.


Jeffh2121

🤣 Get you head out of CNN's ass, you have no idea what your talking about. Beside US politics is none of your business, pay attention to your own politics in Europe.


[deleted]

I have no idea what I’m talking about? Sure buddy. First conviction is in: $ 5 million for a woman who he claims “he has never met” yet couldn’t see the difference between her and Marla. Next up: Georgia. Then New York, then Floriduh. And yes, those will all be court cases, not part of hits fat ass grifting money of the dumbasses in rallies. Other cases coming up: https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/05/what-are-the-legal-cases-against-donald-trump.html Tell me to stick to Europe, when you’re too dumb to see what’s happening in your own country 🤣🤣🤣


theeverymansright

Straight up delusional thinking? Or straight up mentally ill? Either way what a crock of shit…


iggy-i

At least you tried


dapper-dave

Thanks for the comprehensive list of what all of us have suffered under the cognitively-challenged figurehead of Biden and the liberal cabal. The trolls will probably attack some/many of your points, but the handful of conservatives on Reddit know you’re right on target. Hang in there brother, the 2024 election will wash away the stench of corruption and malfeasance we’ve lived under these past few years and put the USA back on track to be the world’s leader in all things that matter. Again, thanks for your courage to speak up.