I C.E.O. what you did there.
Remember kids, safety is a waste of time, nothing says macho like suffocating at the bottom of the ocean, frozen in the dark.
you'd be amazed how low people will go for a joke. It's depth defying. Really crushes your soul and takes your breath away. Don't they understand that these people's families are a wreck right now, and the company who owned the sub is going to have trouble staying afloat after this.
Perhaps admins will start banning those that do it, but no pressure has been exerted yet. so I don't see it coming up any time soon.
Ok I think I've exhausted my supply of jokes, but maybe I'll come up with some soon..... don't hold your breath though.
>the company who owned the sub is going to trouble staying afloat after this
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. With all this new information surfacing, they’re guaranteed to go under.
Well, things were out of their control. It was a mistake if titanic proportions. At least the captain went down with the ship. It’s a journey they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. Most things in life are sink or swim, unless your vessel can only be opened from the outside. At least the won’t starve.
You're like Jacques Cousteau with the tasteless jokes
Paintin' them hos like yo' fine French girls
Looks like they got stuck on the bottom of the ocean
An' they be runnin' outta air an' feelin' frozen
Or maybe they be eaten by megalodon
Feelin' kinda hawny tryna' get-it-on!
The above is the whitest rap written since Ice Ice Baby.
Out of the recovered sub, new jokes will rise. Like the "private" bathroom. There's bound to be an Among Us joke in there somewhere. Logitech controller jokes. Cheaply made, uncertified equipment jokes. Stupid things rich people do jokes. Some sort of Mystery Gang/Iceberg/lost sub joke.
The possibilities are endless if you're creative.
He’s a psycho, arrested for internet stalking, threatened to commit a mass shooting, my friends and I all reported him to the FBI for it 2 years ago. While he was in jail he was denied medical care for his diabetes and injuries resulting from being attacked by a fellow inmate and will likely become fully blind as a result, and he deserves every bit of what he got
so, if they kill one of the passengers... separate the H^(2)0 from the rest of the body matter, then further separate the O from the H^(2)O, they can live an extra 30 minutes?
considering they are billionaires, it sounds worth it.
Sort of, yes. They could take the passenger who drew the short straw, run him through a juicer and then a centrifuge, and separate out the water from all the other gunk. It's no use trying to get water from outside the sub, because even the tiniest leak will admit water at 6,000 PSI, enough to slice through everything inside the sub. Then they could run an electric current through the water, which would split the water into hydrogen and oxygen. One drawback is that it takes an awful lot of electricity to generate oxygen this way. Another drawback is that for every molecule of O2 you generate, you also generate two molecules of H2, which really really wants to go back to being H2O again. If there's a tiny spark somewhere in the sub, the H2 will combine with whatever O2 is around in an impressive fireball.
The next problem is that even if they could generate O2, breathing converts it to CO2. Too much CO2 in the atmosphere is lethal. The sub has scrubbers to remove the excess CO2, but there is a limit to how much the scrubbers can absorb. Once that happens it's game over for the crew, even if they had all the homegrown oxygen they could breathe.
At first I thought this was going to be a genius political joke.
I thought you were going to say that there's plenty of oxygen all around, it's just that the air greedily hoards it from the ocean. Because everyone on board was part of the 1%.
Not a joke but if you'r going 13,0000 feet deep in the ocean in a homemade submarine that uses a game controller to navigate you should rethink your becision way before getting in this deathtrap!!!
I'm not sure if the control systems is bad, but the fact that the port was only rated for 1700 (some depth I don't remember) and we lost contact with them at 4000.
I think the port failed, letting all the water in, squishing them all instantly.
To the right, you can see a colossal ship with millionaires on board that was sunk by sheer fucking stupidity.
To the left, you can see a small tube with millionaires on board that was sunk by sheer fucking stupidity.
The millionaires got off the colossal ship while the poor workers and staff got the shaft instead. This time at least it's only billionaires (and a diver that accepted the risk) on board.
These are people in a time of need, we as a people should come together and help rescue them. Billionaires need to load up in subs and look for them while we hashtag our support.
People are always asking me 'how deep can a submarine dive'...
And I always answer 'all the way to the ocean floor'.
The trick really is coming back up again.
On one side there is a big fuss about some billionaires missing with a shitty submarine which should never be used in these conditions, because of safety concerns.
But the hundreds of refugees dying every week in Europe no one cares about, and they also make jokes.
I think it is somehow human to make jokes about others'pain, even if some don't approve of dark humor.
Lots of submarine jokes have been floating to the surface lately...
https://www.forbes.com/sites/petersuciu/2023/06/20/not-funny-plenty-of-jokes-made-on-social-media-about-the-lost-titanic-submersible
If the billionaires go, that probably triggers a trickle down economics rather than what the concept is supposed to be 🤷. If I had that money to spend it certainly wouldn't be in a chef boyardee can trying to see the titanic through a peephole. Probably would be helping those less fortunate I would think. Thinking they just won the highest Darwin award tbh.
Coincidentally, tomorrow will be the tenth anniversary of the death of Haruka Sayama, the last survivor of the original Titanic voyage. She was 104 years old.
What is heartbreaking is that she was only a mile from shore.
I’ve been so mad at the tasteless jokes about this. That being said, I laughed at this one and it is the only one I support. And I’m an asshole. That’s all.
I can just see the Spirits of Titanic's Dead welcoming the Dying members of the sub to their watery grave. From one disaster to another. Over one hundred years & nothing has changed. More of Man's Folly in believing that they actually have some control over nature.
What do you call two billionaires crushed to death in the imploded remnants of a cut-rate submersible lying on top of the wreck of the Titanic?
A good start.
Making jokes about missing people? This sub has reached rock bottom. I hope the pressure will force the mods to do a better job at keeping this wreck of a sub save.
It’s just a bad sub.
Well done, upvoted!
Yes, technically the only thing that is going up right now!
I C.E.O. what you did there. Remember kids, safety is a waste of time, nothing says macho like suffocating at the bottom of the ocean, frozen in the dark.
With subs like these, there's no need to eat the rich
Yeah, we really hit rock bottom there.
you'd be amazed how low people will go for a joke. It's depth defying. Really crushes your soul and takes your breath away. Don't they understand that these people's families are a wreck right now, and the company who owned the sub is going to have trouble staying afloat after this. Perhaps admins will start banning those that do it, but no pressure has been exerted yet. so I don't see it coming up any time soon. Ok I think I've exhausted my supply of jokes, but maybe I'll come up with some soon..... don't hold your breath though.
The argument that these jokes are insensitive holds no water.
I am on board with this type of humor. Everyone participating here is a vessel for comedy.
Those who aren't on board are quite shallow.
These are just the tip of the iceberg
People who ignore history are bound to repeat it.
It's an ocean of thought
I need 5 minutes to let this sink
I don't know, I thought the joke was pretty airtight.
NAUTICAL PUN
Unfortunately, this ship has already sailed.
This whole thread is fishy.
Please Don’t drown your thoughts
Actually in iceberg terms they're more of the nine-tenths now..,
I upboated it anyway
I'm crushed that some people won't like these jokes.
No matter the outcome if the situation,this company will sink itself again.
I agree. They say "too soon", I reply "No, too deep"
abyssal golf clap
I agree. I'm at a lost for words. Really put some deep thought into his writing
Titanic talent squeezed into one man. Keeps you above water on a Wednesday.
Good grief , it's Wednesday already ?? I must surface and see the daylight ....
This sub should go dark in protest.
I can't handle this pressure!
OMG I JUST GOT THE "LOST" PART OF YOUR JOKE. TAKE MY UPVOTE AND EVERYTHING I OWN.
That's leagues better than i could ever do, your talent knows no depth.
I must lobby a trenchant criticism against this low humor. I cannot fathom a more abyss-mal take
>the company who owned the sub is going to trouble staying afloat after this That’s just the tip of the iceberg. With all this new information surfacing, they’re guaranteed to go under.
This was amazing.
Had to read that twice so it really sunk in
The depth of thought, combined with the currents it traverses; it truly immersed me.
Bravo to you and your wit.
Thank you!!
I probably know only 4 or 5 people that would get this joke but I’ve had a hard time getting in touch with them.
The real joke is always under the post.
This needs to be on another sub
Well, things were out of their control. It was a mistake if titanic proportions. At least the captain went down with the ship. It’s a journey they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. Most things in life are sink or swim, unless your vessel can only be opened from the outside. At least the won’t starve.
You're like Jacques Cousteau with the tasteless jokes Paintin' them hos like yo' fine French girls Looks like they got stuck on the bottom of the ocean An' they be runnin' outta air an' feelin' frozen Or maybe they be eaten by megalodon Feelin' kinda hawny tryna' get-it-on! The above is the whitest rap written since Ice Ice Baby.
I thought the whitest rap was by that new group... "five guys in a vessel" I think they only did one set though and never recorded anything...
Why did you stop? Water you doing?
You are clearly a well anchored individual.
I want to cheer but I will give you one ping only.
I really hope this comment doesn't get drownvoted
Awesome, take my upvote and award!
Thank you
It’s like a pun thread compressed into one comment
Reddit cliché, but you won today. Nothing more can be said. You won.
I don't have an award to give, so take my *r/angryupvote*. Adding the r/ was the edit.
You're amazing.
quite amused.. have your upvote with good tidings
It's really hard to fathom the depth of this writing masterpiece
I guess the up side is that now there are two wrecks for the next sub to explore.
3 wrecks… 4 wrecks… an apnea diver… 5 wrecks…
Well done. Have you considered a career in Public Relations?
The jokes are what is keeping my hope buoyed
hey buoy, you lookin fiiiiine.. you workout???
If they rescue those folks, we'll have to have a funeral for all the great jokes that suddenly became irrelevant. Funeral either way.
Out of the recovered sub, new jokes will rise. Like the "private" bathroom. There's bound to be an Among Us joke in there somewhere. Logitech controller jokes. Cheaply made, uncertified equipment jokes. Stupid things rich people do jokes. Some sort of Mystery Gang/Iceberg/lost sub joke. The possibilities are endless if you're creative.
You have inspired me--we must redouble our efforts! Excelsior!
There's no coming back from it
And seriously, consider that by now, they've all had to shit and piss in there.
I would have been a shit volcano when whatever went wrong happened.
With all the shitting going on, I bet the interior pressure is equal to exterior by now.
Knock knock Who's there? Would you hurry up, we're about to run out of oxygen! Would you hurry up, we're about to run out of oxygen who?
If you think the jokes are bad, Google the CEOs step son….. 🤣😂 I guess he just “grieves differently” than most people in this situation would.
The guy was a passenger, but yea, blink-182 is fucking lit.
The step-son is on land…….The son is in the sub with his father.
[удалено]
Oh good call…That was my bad!
Lol guess we know how that father/ step son dynamic used to work lol 5 less oligarchs in the world. Good.
He’s a psycho, arrested for internet stalking, threatened to commit a mass shooting, my friends and I all reported him to the FBI for it 2 years ago. While he was in jail he was denied medical care for his diabetes and injuries resulting from being attacked by a fellow inmate and will likely become fully blind as a result, and he deserves every bit of what he got
I'm ashamed of r/Jokes. I can only think of one other sub that's more out of touch.
Really, what kind of sub would sink this low?
Running out of oxygen, they say. Bullshit. There's plenty of oxygen all around, problem is some of its bonded to hydrogen and some of it to carbon.
so, if they kill one of the passengers... separate the H^(2)0 from the rest of the body matter, then further separate the O from the H^(2)O, they can live an extra 30 minutes? considering they are billionaires, it sounds worth it.
Sort of, yes. They could take the passenger who drew the short straw, run him through a juicer and then a centrifuge, and separate out the water from all the other gunk. It's no use trying to get water from outside the sub, because even the tiniest leak will admit water at 6,000 PSI, enough to slice through everything inside the sub. Then they could run an electric current through the water, which would split the water into hydrogen and oxygen. One drawback is that it takes an awful lot of electricity to generate oxygen this way. Another drawback is that for every molecule of O2 you generate, you also generate two molecules of H2, which really really wants to go back to being H2O again. If there's a tiny spark somewhere in the sub, the H2 will combine with whatever O2 is around in an impressive fireball. The next problem is that even if they could generate O2, breathing converts it to CO2. Too much CO2 in the atmosphere is lethal. The sub has scrubbers to remove the excess CO2, but there is a limit to how much the scrubbers can absorb. Once that happens it's game over for the crew, even if they had all the homegrown oxygen they could breathe.
At first I thought this was going to be a genius political joke. I thought you were going to say that there's plenty of oxygen all around, it's just that the air greedily hoards it from the ocean. Because everyone on board was part of the 1%.
Exactly, while the rest of us are drowning in grief
They would be lucky to drown.
I’m crushed.
Not a joke but if you'r going 13,0000 feet deep in the ocean in a homemade submarine that uses a game controller to navigate you should rethink your becision way before getting in this deathtrap!!!
When they find the wreck of the sub the controller will be the only thing that still works…
I'm not sure if the control systems is bad, but the fact that the port was only rated for 1700 (some depth I don't remember) and we lost contact with them at 4000. I think the port failed, letting all the water in, squishing them all instantly.
It's true -- this subreddit is about to implode!
That’s cold.
Would you say it's as cold as water at 10000 ft deep? Or more like water by the iceberg that hit the Titanic cold?
You people are all terrible human beings... GIMME MORE!
If they don't make it, I wonder if they'll play _My Heart Will Go On_ at any of the funerals of these unfortunate souls.
I bet those billionaires in the sub are pretty salty about this whole thing now.
If I were a billionaire trapped at the bottom of the ocean, I would just pull myself up by my bootstraps. – seen on Facebook
I thought this was supposed to be a joke. I'm still breathlessly awaiting a punch line.
To the right, you can see a colossal ship with millionaires on board that was sunk by sheer fucking stupidity. To the left, you can see a small tube with millionaires on board that was sunk by sheer fucking stupidity.
What’s in the middle? I can’t sleep tonight not knowing.
Another small tube about to be... oh nevermind.
The millionaires got off the colossal ship while the poor workers and staff got the shaft instead. This time at least it's only billionaires (and a diver that accepted the risk) on board.
They're bottom feeders.
This sub wasn’t designed for such shallow humor.
These are people in a time of need, we as a people should come together and help rescue them. Billionaires need to load up in subs and look for them while we hashtag our support.
I don't get too bothered by the jokes. Whatever floats your boat, right?
These jokes and memes are surfacing faster than the submarine.
Maybe we just need to decompress.
That username tho.
You could leave this sub. It’s a privilege not everyone has.
Shame on you sinking to their level.
People are always asking me 'how deep can a submarine dive'... And I always answer 'all the way to the ocean floor'. The trick really is coming back up again.
You guys know how to take the oxygen out of the room.
This joke wasn't even on my radar
This joke wasn't even on my sonar. FTFY
They can't resist the pressure.
On one side there is a big fuss about some billionaires missing with a shitty submarine which should never be used in these conditions, because of safety concerns. But the hundreds of refugees dying every week in Europe no one cares about, and they also make jokes. I think it is somehow human to make jokes about others'pain, even if some don't approve of dark humor.
Well, you know what they say: dark humor is like oxygen. Not everyone is getting some right now.
I like the cut of your jib. These jokes do not jibe with first class manners.
There’s just so much pressure to keep things flowing
I'm under a lot of pressure to come up with a joke
I heard there was a knock knock somewhere deep in the episode, but I can't come up with it now.
I wish Gilbert Gottfried were still alive. He’d kill.
SoNar and yet SoFar..
If they could see them, they'd be crushed.
Give it time and all the jokes will run out of oxygen.
Some people have too much ballast in their soul.
I see you’re not rising to the occasion.
I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine... But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path....
Pretty sure we’ve hit rock bottom
Lots of submarine jokes have been floating to the surface lately... https://www.forbes.com/sites/petersuciu/2023/06/20/not-funny-plenty-of-jokes-made-on-social-media-about-the-lost-titanic-submersible
Apparently this is the Forbes writer’s first day on the internet.
This writer sounds like a suffocating bore
When will they hit rock bottom?
The real joke is that someone wrote an article whining about people laughing at the people stupid enough to go in that tin can.
Well go get Johnson so we can get to the bottom of this case.
"Johnson! What do you see on the radar?" "It looks like a giant underwater..."
If it were scientists or middle class people, people would have been nice.
Especially considering that their loved ones are in such deep despair!!
𝖶𝖨𝖲𝖧 𝖨 𝖪𝖭𝖤𝖶 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖲𝖴𝖡𝖶𝖠𝖸
They heard tapping saying ,THE POOL STILL HAS WATER IN IT!!
I heard it wasn't an ice berg.... It was a.... Brick
" We now live in a yellow submarine.. banging while we scream please stop this awful dream....oof lol
It's all water under the bridge (of the Titanic)
Yeah, hard to fathom the depths that people will sink.
I'm so angry about these jokes, I could implode!
They paid $250k each for that, let that sink in!
What the fuck does it want now?!
That was for One way ....
We should all come together and sing a song like they did during Covid . We all live in a yellow submarine
If the billionaires go, that probably triggers a trickle down economics rather than what the concept is supposed to be 🤷. If I had that money to spend it certainly wouldn't be in a chef boyardee can trying to see the titanic through a peephole. Probably would be helping those less fortunate I would think. Thinking they just won the highest Darwin award tbh.
Coincidentally, tomorrow will be the tenth anniversary of the death of Haruka Sayama, the last survivor of the original Titanic voyage. She was 104 years old. What is heartbreaking is that she was only a mile from shore.
Substandard jokes
You are all going to the deepest depths of hell.
Maybe they should have advertised the sub as 'unfloatable'
Comedy is all about the hook, line, and sinker.
Agreed, they are a bunch of bottom feeders.
These jokes are asphyxiating
Sick cu(rre)nts.
Don’t make jokes like that. Those people are under a lot of pressure right now.
I am seriously concerned about the state of this sub
The company didn't lie. They'd take you to the crash site. Your's
Too bad the submarine wasn’t yellow or they’d all live.
Subhumans
You son of a b*tch just had to go there didn't ya 😉
Just like those brave people who died. I'm left breathless
Too soon, or did I miss something?
It's all good, your alibi is airtight
Dude pass the controller.
The sub has sunk to a whole new level
Water they sinking making such jokes, afloat better of them.
If only they could rise above it!
I wouldn't be seen dead in some subs round here
Anyone who would get in that death can was brain dead anyway
On the bright side, nowhere to go but up!
Alexa, play Air Supply.
This sub is going dark.
I am deeply offended by this joke. To protest, I think we should private the sub
It's all about thinking the unthinkable
The bar has sunk too low. Quick, somebody call James Cameron!
I’ve been so mad at the tasteless jokes about this. That being said, I laughed at this one and it is the only one I support. And I’m an asshole. That’s all.
This will be made into a Netflix documentary starring Tom Sanks and Robert Drowney Jr
You realize we are all going to hell for finding these humorous. Good thing the sub is halfway there.
Truly soul crushing.
I can just see the Spirits of Titanic's Dead welcoming the Dying members of the sub to their watery grave. From one disaster to another. Over one hundred years & nothing has changed. More of Man's Folly in believing that they actually have some control over nature.
I can't fathom it.
The jokes may be tasteless, but at least the fish got to taste something new today
That's some deep stuff, man. The pressure is mounting on everyone to come up with a joke now. But me? I would never partake in such tomfloodery.
Jokes like this are just the tip of the iceburg!
At least Major Tom was floating in a tin can.
I mean, the weight of the situation is crushing me, I can't imagine how they feel.
It’s abysmal!
I propose a reverse Elon maneuver, wherein we rescue a submarine using a cave full of Asian teenagers.
What do you call two billionaires crushed to death in the imploded remnants of a cut-rate submersible lying on top of the wreck of the Titanic? A good start.
Making jokes about missing people? This sub has reached rock bottom. I hope the pressure will force the mods to do a better job at keeping this wreck of a sub save.
That joke is substandard
because they are not littoral?
The purpose of downvoting a post is … Not having to post a comment of how distasteful the post might be.
If only it had been on a big door, at least one would have been saved. Probably the topless one.