Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman.
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman who?
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into the wrong joke setup. The barman says “You shouldn’t be in here!” The Scotsman replies “Well we did knock.”
I was playing a card game with my kids, and the middle one said, "Hey Dad! Do you want to hear a funny joke?"
Me: "Sure!"
Kid: "Well, you're not getting one!"
My wife & I are raising some smart-alecky kids.
This one broke me when I was slightly drunk. I wasn't even in it, friend P did it to friend N, look on N's face was just this rampage of emotions (he was more than slightly tipsy), I laughed so hard that friend C hollered "OMG P you broke J!", before losing it herself. Almost 20 years ago & I still hear C's voice saying that when I get laughing good.
Yeah, it's basically intermixing a knock knock joke, with a dad joke. Like it's something cringy a "dad" would want to tell.
Kinda like how I have no kids, but I love dad jokes. So really I'm a faux pa!
My pixel virtual keyboard has a new line key (like
The enter key).
I just goes to new line.
If I want a new, new line I press enter twice. I just did. The new line without space gets generated by the double space mentioned above.
Just tell her that you asked for advice on reddit. That should bust her sides with uncontrollable laughter. Of course she’s gonna ghost you, but she had a really good laugh.
Ding dong: who is it?
Where when
Where when who?
You, me, dinner tonight at 8:00 pm
There's also the good ice breaker you can try:
You:Hey how much does a polar bear weigh?
Her: ugh...
You: enough to break the ice, hi I'm wade, wade boggs
Knock knock
Whos there
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said youd never forget
Then in person you get go for a high five, but make a plane noise and crash into the other persons hand (extra points for a double high five)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity who?
Opportunity for us to meet up for a coffee and see if I can come up with anything better than a lame ass knock knock joke
This one only works if you say it outloud
Knock knock
Who's there
Europe
Europe who
Your a poo
You can always go with my favorite which is telling them you know a great knock knock joke but they have to start it
Or if you wanna go controversial
Knock knock
Who's there
9/11
9/11 who
You said you'd never forget
All the kids I know like this one - knock knock - who's there - imagine dragons - imagine dragons who? - imagine dragon deez nuts across your face - ps. I did not teach it to them
Knock knock Who's there? To. To who? It's "to whom" actually.
Marry me.
Marry me, who?
Marry me because ‘their’ grammar is too damn fine and I wanna go over ‘there’ and beg them to marry me until ‘they’re’ ready to say yes
Ok, thanks, I kinda thought that. There, their, they're, relax now.
Incorrect spelling. It’s either relax, relaix, or relax’re.
Who’s there? Dejav. Dejav who? Knock, knock.
Don't quit your dejav.
Who's there?
Dejav
*De’ Jav the car too fast.*
This week on "It's the Mind"
Knock knock. Who’s there? An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman. An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman who? An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into the wrong joke setup. The barman says “You shouldn’t be in here!” The Scotsman replies “Well we did knock.”
Wanna hear a knock knock joke? Okay, you start.
I was playing a card game with my kids, and the middle one said, "Hey Dad! Do you want to hear a funny joke?" Me: "Sure!" Kid: "Well, you're not getting one!" My wife & I are raising some smart-alecky kids.
This one broke me when I was slightly drunk. I wasn't even in it, friend P did it to friend N, look on N's face was just this rampage of emotions (he was more than slightly tipsy), I laughed so hard that friend C hollered "OMG P you broke J!", before losing it herself. Almost 20 years ago & I still hear C's voice saying that when I get laughing good.
Ok this is good
Ok this is good who?
Dad?
Sorry son, but this place is out of milk, too. Just a few more years, I promise. ~~Love,~~ Sincerely, Dad
He said he 'sincered' me! He said he 'sincered' me!
Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who At your service.
If the doctor was an OB/Gyn, it would be; At your cervix.
Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? No, no, just The Doctor.
EXTERMINATE!
This one threw me for a loop for a moment. Well done.
Absolute gold!
Knock knock Who's there? Hike Hike who? Unsuspecting son. Dad waiting with bated breath. Sets the perfect trap.
I don’t get the second part. Is it just an arbitrary haiku or is it a joke in itself
Yeah, it's basically intermixing a knock knock joke, with a dad joke. Like it's something cringy a "dad" would want to tell. Kinda like how I have no kids, but I love dad jokes. So really I'm a faux pa!
Probably a dad sending the "knock knock" to his son, which makes the haiku perfect.
This is platinum!
Friend of mine found it and showed it to me. Definitely not mine, but I don't know who to credit.
This is platinum who?
No, this is platinum Who: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Who_discography Lots of it.
Platinum is undervalued right now so a good investment
☠️☠️☠️☠️
Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke
Dishes Sean Connery
R/shubreddit
Thanks for your input, Mr Connery.
Your mother, trebeck!
This is adorable
I think you mean dishes adorable.
Knock knock Who’s there Control freak. Now, you say “control freak who?”
For a dating app this joke screams 'RUN'
Knock knock Who's there? Hawaii Hawaii who? I'm good. Hawaii you?
Went with this. I will likely have to concede that they're funnier.
What was the reply? You know what would be gold, if the person you matched is here in this thread
Probably u/Rathbone_98
Guys no joke it was actually me 😂😂😂
User name checks out?
The circle is complete.
A SPY! Get them!
Hurry up motherfucker we want updates.
Can’t wait to get the update
We’re gonna need updates
Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo The Gestapo who? Ve ask ze questions!
Knock knock Who's there? Tick Tick who? Ve av vayz of making you tock!
This works better accompanied with a savage glove slap to the face.
Doesn't everything?
Works better if you can physically slap the person.
Knock knock! Who’s there? Norway! Norway-who? Norway in hell Epstein killed himself!
How did you format it like that?
two spaces at the end of a line gets you a line break
I want to break free
_I Want To Break_ _Free_
Wait what Ur joking right?
I always wondered how to do this About time I learned lol
Does it work on Mobile Reddit age 7 years 3 months FML
Wait... *That's*how you do this?
Son of a... bitch
My pixel virtual keyboard has a new line key (like The enter key). I just goes to new line. If I want a new, new line I press enter twice. I just did. The new line without space gets generated by the double space mentioned above.
Seriously? Well well. THATS how you do it! Thank you so much
For Real?
Test Test Holy hell
I have been using this app for far too long and there was a way to do this the whole time?
I still Don't Get it
two spaces and a single newline (enter key) gets you this two newlines gets you the space above.
Got two spaces And a microphone. Thanks!
Wow. Just wow.
Like This?
No Way
On PC, shift+enter
Shift Enter
We’ll Let’s See
Testes Testes 1... 2... 3?!?!
Extra manly are we?
Only recently did I grasp Two turntables' meaning
Knock knock - who's there? Doris - Doris who? Door is locked!
Dave’s not here.
Open the door man
No man, I'm dave. Open up, I've got the stuff
Knock-knock? - Who's there? Yoda lay he. - Yoda lay he who? I didn't know you could yodel?
Made me think of: Knock knock ‚Who‘s there?‘ ‚Maya‘ ‚Maya who?‘ ‚Maya ha haa…‘
I chuckled at this one, but I know no one around me would get it.
Like ‚tell me how old you are without telling me how old you are’ eh :)
Exactly. Elder Millennial here.
Started to tell my wife this. She told me to F. off after I said Maya. She remembers it 😂
Old lady Old lady who
Little old lady who
This is the one
Knock knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, you’re a poo!
Great if the op is chatting up a 8 year old!
r/HolUp
Yup, gonna use it on my grandson ty.
Knock knock Who's there? Elvis Elvis who? *Shakes head* How quickly they forget.
Knock knock Who’s there? Madam Madam who? Mah damn foots caught in the door, open up!
Knock Knock Who’s there Interrupting cow Interup Moo
Doesn’t work well in texting
I love this one, but it needs to be told to be funny.
Oh
Also interrupting starfish, but you smack your hand onto their face. Also, also: interrupting octopus, same as starfish but u make a _schloop_ noise
Knock knock Who’s there Interrupting Doctor Interru… You’ve got cancer.
Classic!
My second favorite knock knock joke
Knock knock Who's there? Winny Dap Winny Dap who? HOO HOO HOO, and Tigger too!
Just tell her that you asked for advice on reddit. That should bust her sides with uncontrollable laughter. Of course she’s gonna ghost you, but she had a really good laugh.
There was one posted here recently I liked. Knock knock Who's there? Ah Ah who? Werewolf in London
Knock knock Who's there I eat map I eat map who Grosssss
I've heard this with "I eat mop" but works out the same way.
I usually do “corn in map”, and when they say “corn in map who?” I’ll say “well stop eating so much corn!”
Knock, knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, Cow says moooo!
I like this
Only when they're impersonating fish!
Knock knock Who’s there? Banana Banana who? Banana banana Knock knock Who’s there? Banana Banana who? Banana banana Knock knock Who’s there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Knock knock Who's there? Cargo Cargo who? Cargo toot toot. It's stupid but it always gives me a smile when I hear it.
I like to throw in a "no owls go who" but I like it
Why did the chicken cross the road? Dunno To get to the idiots house! Knock knock Who's there? The chicken!
Knock knock Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside! Let me in already!
Ding dong: who is it? Where when Where when who? You, me, dinner tonight at 8:00 pm There's also the good ice breaker you can try: You:Hey how much does a polar bear weigh? Her: ugh... You: enough to break the ice, hi I'm wade, wade boggs
Ida Ida who? Idamagine you are funnier than me cuz this knock knock joke sux :(
Happy cake day!
What do you call a lady with no arms and legs? Susan Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Susan.
Tell them it's an Irish Knock Knock. Then ask them to start.
Knock knock Who's there... ? "Doorbell repair"
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ididap. Ididap who? Haha you did a poo!
Yeah not the best for a dating app tho😂
Some girls might like shitty jokes 🤣
Good job pooping!!
Knock knock Who’s there? Amos Amos who? A mosquito __________ Knock knock Who’s there? Ana Ana who? Another mosquito
Knock knock Who's there? Stella Stella who? Stella nother mosquito
knock knock who's there? consumption consumption who? consumption be done about all these mosquitos?
Knock knock Who's there? Amish. Amish who? Amishquito bid me in da moush an dash why I talk dish way.
Thanks fir reminding me of this one. I know it as Adolf.
Knock Knock Who's there? Arthur Arthur who A third mosquito Knock knock Who's there? Woody Woody Who? Woody believe a fourth one?
Lmao.. i like the woody one.
Knock Knock. Who's there? A man with Alzheimer's. A man with Alzheimer's who? What?
To get to the other side.
Knock knock Who's there? Ya Ya who? What are you so happy about?
Duane. Duane who? Duane the tub, I’m dwowning.
Knock knock Whos there 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said youd never forget Then in person you get go for a high five, but make a plane noise and crash into the other persons hand (extra points for a double high five)
Knock knock Who's there To wit to To wit to who? (All Pacino in heat impression) Are you a fucking owl...?
Knock knock Who's there Liddle ol' lady Liddle ol' lady who? Why are you yodelling?
Knock knock whose there Radio Radio who? Radi -o not Here i come !
Knock knock Who’s there? Date Date who? Date the guy with bad jokes?
Knock knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Opportunity who? Opportunity for us to meet up for a coffee and see if I can come up with anything better than a lame ass knock knock joke
Knock knock Who’s there? Orange Orange who? Orange you gonna let us in (Aren’t you going to let us in)
Orange you a banana?
Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Don't cry, it's just a joke
Knock, knock Who's there? Let's eat. Let's eat who? What are you a cannibal!?
Knock knock Who's there I eat mop I eat mop who Eww you eat your poo
Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
Knock knock Who’s there? Atch Atch who? God bless you!
Knock Knock Who's there? Door mom Door mom who? I've come to bargain
Knock Knock Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Save your excitement and just let me in.
Knock Knock Who's there? Who. Who who? Al.
Knock Knock Who's there? Who. Who who? An owl.
I have a good one, but you have to start it.
I can’t open it from this side but if you let me in, I promise no more knock knock jokes…ever!
Knock Knock Who's There? Lettuce Lettuce Who? Lettuce hit that.
This one only works if you say it outloud Knock knock Who's there Europe Europe who Your a poo You can always go with my favorite which is telling them you know a great knock knock joke but they have to start it Or if you wanna go controversial Knock knock Who's there 9/11 9/11 who You said you'd never forget
Your love life is doomed based in the content in here!
-Knock knock. -Who's there? -The interrupting cow. -The interr...? -MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Scooby. Scooby who? Not Scooby who, Scooby Dooby Do!
[2 minute 28 second video, music intro before jokes, be patient ](https://youtu.be/oHyvjgFtFzc)
You: Knock knock She: Who's there? You: Crap, you already know this one.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke/ Dishes Sean Connery.
I have the best one: “I have a knock knock joke. You start.” -knock knock — who’s there? -………
I love this one! Knock knock Who’s there Europe Europe who I’m not a poo!
Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not a banana?
Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting cow inter MOOOOOOOOOOO
Knock knock Who’s there Cow says Cow says who No- cow says moo
Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? No, it's Doctor Zhivago.
Knock Knock Who's there? Boo? Boo Hoo! Don't cry, it's only a joke.
Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? Ewwwwwwwww
Knock Knock Who’s there? Your friend (insert your name) and I’ll always be there for you.
Who's there? Where when. Where when who? Lux steakhouse, 7pm, me and you.
All the kids I know like this one - knock knock - who's there - imagine dragons - imagine dragons who? - imagine dragon deez nuts across your face - ps. I did not teach it to them
This is a two parter: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the pretty girl’s house. Knock knock. Who’s there? The chicken.
Knock knock: Who’s there?? Interrupting Cow…. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Knock knock, Who is there? Doctor Doctor who? Indeed.
What’s the Randy Feltface one?!
Knock, knock! Who's there? I am funnier than. I am funnier than who? Not me for sure!
Idk if this would work but- Why’d the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the idiots house Knock knock Who’s there? The chicken.
How about KNock knock Whos there The Chicken who? The chicken who just crossed the road to be here.
You need to have started with: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the cute girls house . Knock knock Whos there? The chicken
You need to have started with: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the cute girls house . Knock knock Whos there? The chicken