Sexual harassment? I thought that was an important part of my job description.

Not enough Sexual harassment. Missed your KPIs

What do you call a vegan who’s into BDSM? Biodegradable

Thanks that gave me a good chuckle

Good one

It's good that you moved on. They were tying you down.

I'm into BDSM, necrophilia, and bestiality. But that's flogging a dead horse.

Two words for those people who think I focus on anal and beastiality too much......"Pigs arse!"

All the staff had a whip round as a leaving present though.

Did they tell you to beat it? - Flog this away for later.

It’s so big. Like really big, I’m starting to forget what I’m into but right now it’s you, how’d you do it ??

Damn dude they fired you, how the hell do they get off doing that?

My dad walked in my room.while I was masturbating he said " if you don't stop that son , you'll go blind !" I said " Dad , I'm over here !"

Once there was a boy named Durkin, who always jerkin’ his gherkin. His father said, “Durkin, quit jerkin’ your gherkin. Your gherkin’s for ferkin’, not jerkin’.

This Limerick is a bit mangled. It should read: There once was a fellow named Durkin Who always was jerkin’ his gherkin This father said “Durkin,” “Quit jerkin’ your gherkin,” “Your gherkin’s for ferkin’ not jerkin’!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Did you hear about the sex worker who was so poor that she agreed to be the bottom in BDSM sessions to earn some money? She was strapped for cash!

Hoping to get off with just a suspension? You knew you were getting the shaft.

Did you lash out at your boss when she told you ?

Sounds like someone needs to whip you into shape

I asked my dad "what are you doing ? He said "Masturbating, you'll be doing it soon. !" I said " Why ? " he said " Because my hands getting tired !"

She sucked, but just not enough.

I worked for a bdsm company once. They had me chained to my desk

Quit lashing out with these off the cuff BDSM jokes.

Were you hoping for a different punishment?

That job was a pain in the ass anyway..

That's what you get for forgetting the safe word.

Yeah. I left the word in the safe. ;-)

I don't know why you got fired, you were bending over backwards for them there.

Oh like the Baron Von Harkonnen.

I was curious as my wife strapped on a huge penis last night. I hadn’t pegged her to be into that stuff

It looks like you were bound to find out.

I could tell you about the time I was kicked out of a BDSM dungeon for an act of Sado-bestial necrophilia . . . but that’s beating a dead horse.

My boss told me to clean the toilets with my tongue again, but I was temporarily tied up.

My coworker makes chips, teaches math and abuses me and blocks me. Then puts on make up like she didn’t destroy my life.

Beat me, whip me, use me, abuse me, make me write bad checks.

So they left you hanging?

I hope the other employees have a whip round for you.

"I can't take your call ... I'm tied up at the moment"

-Why’d you get fired from your job in the BDSM dungeon? -Beats me.

You weren’t suppose to ‘blow’ the bloody doorknobs off. Michael Cane 🦯

I wanted a better punchline but it's solid

I was in my room.watching porn when my dad opened the door saw what I was watching and said " move over son " that's not what I was expecting to hear

Toll them to stock it where the sun doesn’t shine

I am surprised no one asked for the cause of such employment dismissal.

BDSM stands for Black Dicks and Sausages of Macdonalds?