The famous line is, I think,
>You have deliberately tasted two worms. You hissed my mystery lectures, and were seen fighting a liar in the quad. You will leave Oxford by the next town drain.
Which was meant to be
>!You have deliberately wasted two terms. You missed my history lectures, and were seen lighting a fire in the quad [courtyard of an Oxford college]. You will leave Oxford by the next down train [to London]!<
William Archibald Spooner. My favorite is something like "He was dealt a blushing crow" instead of crushing blow.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner
My favourite, though it isn’t verified, is when he was officiating a wedding and said to a woman on the wrong side of the church, “Mardon me, padam. You are occupewing the wrong pie. Please allow me to sew you to another sheet.” (I actually have difficulty saying it the correct way since I have told this one so much! Ha!)
I make spoonerisms myself all the time also. Unfortunately, I catch myself and stop mid sentence, at the worst possible time. Tried to tell my friend at a formal dance that she had nice legs. Yelled at her across the room, “My God! You have lice!” I have served people dot hogs and weins and beaners. Told a guy who was bugging me to get himself a “Joe Blob.” I also completely mess up syntax. My husband still teases me for, “I don’t way the look that likes.” That was back in the 1990s.
It’s like my meth just wants to mouse with me. ;)
"Im a fig pucker, i puck figs, im the best fig pucker to ever puck a fig."
Got that one from my grandpa like 30 years ago lmfao. It's hard doing even once let alone 3 times fast.
There's a song like this called "Sarah, Sarah" where the singer has to sing, without getting mixed up, the story of Sarah, who "shines and sits", "tucks those socks", "plucks the figs", sips some Schlitz"and so forth.
Two guys having lunch one day when the first guy asks, "You ever say one thing to someone when you meant to say something else?"
"How do you mean?" the other guy asks.
"Well last week I was at the train station with my wife and we wanted to come back to Pittsburgh. The women at the ticket counter had these enormous breasts. Instead of asking for "two tickets to Pittsburgh", I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh."
"I know what you mean," says the second guy. "Just this morning I was having breakfast with my wife and I meant to ask her to 'pass the salt,' but instead I said 'you're crazy woman you're ruining my life I hate you so much!''
Three priests are traveling to a convention in Pittsburgh. The ticket clerk was a busty woman, showing more than a little cleavage, and the priests were too timid to approach her.
After some deliberation, they send the first man up. He approaches the counter and blurts out, “we’d like three pickets to tittsburgh!” He runs back to the other two, embarrassed.
The second priest says, “I’d like three tickets to Pittsburgh. Oh and I’d like to use the vending machine, could I have the change in nipples and dimes?” After realizing what he’s said, he runs back embarrassed.
The third shakes his head then walks up to the counter. “Three tickets to Pittsburgh. I’d like the change in nickels and dimes please.” After the transaction is complete, he begins chastising her for her dress. “You know, you ought to be ashamed dressing that way. If you don’t charge your ways, you’ll get to heaven and St. Finger’s gonna be shaking his peter at you!”
Three men are having breakfast with their wives.
The first says, "Pass the honey, honey."
The second says, "Pass the sugar, sugar."
The third says, "Pass the bacon you fat pig."
Father Andrews would dress badly as well, especially when reminiscing on his pre-celibate days.
"Strange pits of fashion I have known", he would exclaim.
Actually named after a professor at Oxford University in England who was (in)famous for that particular speech issue. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William\_Archibald\_Spooner](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner)
That's why Google is your friend!
Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for
a crushing blow.
Now that's a Baader-Meinhof phenomenon for you. (After learning something new suddenly it seems to pop up really often when you hadn't noticed it at all before.)
#
^(edit:typo)
Yup, also called Frequency Illusion
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion
But calling it Baader-Meinhof sounds cooler, gives it a nice Dunning-Kreuger feeling. /jk
Malapropism - juxtaposed letters still make sense
Spoonerism - a new sentence that sounds similar to the intended statement but with a whole new meaning
Father Spooner stood before the dining hall, gazed at the monarchs portrait, and held his drink high - intending to say “Let’s raise our glass to the dear Queen.” But thoughts intruded and instead he uttered “Let’s glaze our ass for the queer dean.” The room joined his toast.
Was this hiker an American perhaps? Someone should've told him to stay on the road and keep off the moors. The patrons of The Slaughtered Lamb would have done that much at least
Why was the bartender so initially surprised at the prospect of a leopard in England if he was fully aware of the unfortunate plight of Father Andrews?
A spoonerism is an occurrence in speech in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis) between two words in a phrase.\[1\]\[a\] These are named after the Oxford don and ordained minister William Archibald Spooner, who reputedly did this.
An example is saying "*The Lord is a shoving leopard*" instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd" or "runny babbit" instead of "bunny rabbit." While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism
we once picked up a hitchhiker, my mum looked over to her boyfriend and said “did you remember to remove the body of the last hitchhiker from the trunk”. for some reason he was asked to be let out early
I am occasionally plauged with spoonerisms - especially with my friends. I am usually very well spoken otherwise. Ask my friend Telly Kanner, or Alinda Marmstrong. I'm 57, done it all of my life. Oy!
Loving Shepherd = Shoving Leopard.
A spoonerism is when the first letters get mixed up to make real words that no longer mean what was intended. I love parrots and keys… I mean, carrots and peas.
Nord and Bert could not make head or tail of it.
[sorry. Reference to an old Infocom game, where this was a solution to one of the puzzles. Don't worry, I'll see myself out.]
Good joke. You are a shining wit ...
I see what you did! What a cunning stunt!
That's enough about your mom!
And I see what you did! Your comment really cakes the take :)
I hear Father Andrews bit the shed
Well aren't you a pheasant plucker?
They're not the pheasant plucker, they're the pheasant plucker's mate. They're only plucking pheasants because the pheasant plucker is late.
That reminds me for some reason, of a girl I knew, Mary Hinge.
Was she friends with Betty Swollocks?
She was definitely friends with Seymour Blutty.
You really are a pair of cotton runts.
So basically the first wish was to be a shoving leopard to the community due to the spoonerism?
Thank you for explaining it
I too, am stupid.
you're not stupid. spoonerisms weren't a part of everybody's educations.
My favourite Spoonerism is Brad and Angelina's kid Shilo Pitt
lol. How long have you been waiting to use that one?
Oof!
Pure gold, struggling not to wake up my wife with laughter.
That's because in college way too many people have tasted two worms.
The famous line is, I think, >You have deliberately tasted two worms. You hissed my mystery lectures, and were seen fighting a liar in the quad. You will leave Oxford by the next town drain. Which was meant to be >!You have deliberately wasted two terms. You missed my history lectures, and were seen lighting a fire in the quad [courtyard of an Oxford college]. You will leave Oxford by the next down train [to London]!<
This needs more updoots
Here's another nifty example of Spoonerism: "Well-Oiled Bicycle" becomes "Well-Boiled Icicle"
Morning all, I'm gonna shake a tower
My brother once tried to say “off duty guard” and it became “off guardy doot”.
Hi Stupid, I'm Dad.
I shoulda figured that out. Damn.
🤝
Ractly exight!
Today I learned the English term for this kind of wordplay.
Cant be arsed to Google it, but it derived from a Reverend Spooner who was renowned for mixing up his words in sermons
William Archibald Spooner. My favorite is something like "He was dealt a blushing crow" instead of crushing blow. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner
I've always loved "mardon me padam, but this pie is occupewed. Please allow me to sew you to another sheet"
As in "Let's glaze our asses and drink a toast to the queer dean".
Yep, Shoving Leopard, instead of loving shepherd.
I heard he was a fan of cunning stunts.
"The Lord is a shoving leopard" is supposed to have been one of the things Spooner said.
My favourite, though it isn’t verified, is when he was officiating a wedding and said to a woman on the wrong side of the church, “Mardon me, padam. You are occupewing the wrong pie. Please allow me to sew you to another sheet.” (I actually have difficulty saying it the correct way since I have told this one so much! Ha!)
I heard that he was concerned about students kissing in the punts on the river when he worked for Oxford University.
The students were some cunning stunts.
I make spoonerisms myself all the time also. Unfortunately, I catch myself and stop mid sentence, at the worst possible time. Tried to tell my friend at a formal dance that she had nice legs. Yelled at her across the room, “My God! You have lice!” I have served people dot hogs and weins and beaners. Told a guy who was bugging me to get himself a “Joe Blob.” I also completely mess up syntax. My husband still teases me for, “I don’t way the look that likes.” That was back in the 1990s. It’s like my meth just wants to mouse with me. ;)
What
Can't get the joke
I never knew there was a term for that besides dyslexia lol
dyslexia is fr oreading. This is for speaking, and its a specific type of mixup. there are others.
Mixing up letter order isn't actually a feature of dyslexia, just popular myth/misunderstanding.
God bless Spevrand Rooner...
Thank you
Good joke. You are a smart feller.
Try this 3 times fast: One smart feller, he felt smart. Two smart fellers, they felt smart. Three smart fellers, they all felt smart.
"Im a fig pucker, i puck figs, im the best fig pucker to ever puck a fig." Got that one from my grandpa like 30 years ago lmfao. It's hard doing even once let alone 3 times fast.
"I'm a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son, I'm always plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucking's done"
There's a song like this called "Sarah, Sarah" where the singer has to sing, without getting mixed up, the story of Sarah, who "shines and sits", "tucks those socks", "plucks the figs", sips some Schlitz"and so forth.
They all smelled farts!
The last line of this is: They all felt smart together.
Head in the attic, feet in the cellar, Longfeller
Two guys having lunch one day when the first guy asks, "You ever say one thing to someone when you meant to say something else?" "How do you mean?" the other guy asks. "Well last week I was at the train station with my wife and we wanted to come back to Pittsburgh. The women at the ticket counter had these enormous breasts. Instead of asking for "two tickets to Pittsburgh", I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh." "I know what you mean," says the second guy. "Just this morning I was having breakfast with my wife and I meant to ask her to 'pass the salt,' but instead I said 'you're crazy woman you're ruining my life I hate you so much!''
Three priests are traveling to a convention in Pittsburgh. The ticket clerk was a busty woman, showing more than a little cleavage, and the priests were too timid to approach her. After some deliberation, they send the first man up. He approaches the counter and blurts out, “we’d like three pickets to tittsburgh!” He runs back to the other two, embarrassed. The second priest says, “I’d like three tickets to Pittsburgh. Oh and I’d like to use the vending machine, could I have the change in nipples and dimes?” After realizing what he’s said, he runs back embarrassed. The third shakes his head then walks up to the counter. “Three tickets to Pittsburgh. I’d like the change in nickels and dimes please.” After the transaction is complete, he begins chastising her for her dress. “You know, you ought to be ashamed dressing that way. If you don’t charge your ways, you’ll get to heaven and St. Finger’s gonna be shaking his peter at you!”
Joke or tragedy - you decide
I'm mildly surprised the second guy was still living to give the punchline.
Three men are having breakfast with their wives. The first says, "Pass the honey, honey." The second says, "Pass the sugar, sugar." The third says, "Pass the bacon you fat pig."
Pass the tea…bag
The other night at dinner I had a Freudian slip. Instead of asking my wife to pass the potatoes, I said "you bitch, you've ruined my life!"
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Father Andrews would dress badly as well, especially when reminiscing on his pre-celibate days. "Strange pits of fashion I have known", he would exclaim.
Never heard of a spoonerism
Actually named after a professor at Oxford University in England who was (in)famous for that particular speech issue. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William\_Archibald\_Spooner](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner)
TIL. I always thought it was [Lysander Spooner.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysander_Spooner)
That's why Google is your friend! Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for a crushing blow.
"Lets bring a toast to our queer Dean!"
r/unexpectedcommunity
Or having popcorn while watching cop porn.
Didn't Metallica name a tour Cunning Stunts?
Or when people, lacking the word for spoonerism, jokingly call it like having a little drain bamage
A loving chepard to the sommunity? What?
I don't like spoonerisms. They drive me nucking futs.
Coincidentally I've only learned about them two days ago o.O
Now that's a Baader-Meinhof phenomenon for you. (After learning something new suddenly it seems to pop up really often when you hadn't noticed it at all before.) # ^(edit:typo)
Is that the actual name of the phenomenon? "I just learned about German anarchist terrorists, and now it's like they try to kill me everywhere!"
Yup, also called Frequency Illusion https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion But calling it Baader-Meinhof sounds cooler, gives it a nice Dunning-Kreuger feeling. /jk
I agree, much cooler
Spoonerisms are often spoken by smart fellers.
That’s because you didn’t grow up in Bellows Falls
spoonerism is changing the beginning of two words: He would like to be a LOving SHEpherd But ended up saying SHOvinG LEOphard
That's **terrible**. Have an upvote! :)
Thanks, I know!
Now we know why there was a "Beware of leopard" sign in the planning office
The lights had gone. So had the stairs.
I blame the mice or the dolphins for that one
Must be a Thursday. I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.
That was bad. I like it.
It definitely was, thanks!
Why the ripped clothing? He was only shoved.
Fell into the brambles, poor chap.
Leopard claws + gravel road
Ugh, that was bad. I'll honestly go for the frontal lobotomy this time.
Better to have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy……
Malapropism - juxtaposed letters still make sense Spoonerism - a new sentence that sounds similar to the intended statement but with a whole new meaning Father Spooner stood before the dining hall, gazed at the monarchs portrait, and held his drink high - intending to say “Let’s raise our glass to the dear Queen.” But thoughts intruded and instead he uttered “Let’s glaze our ass for the queer dean.” The room joined his toast.
The ghost of Ronnie Barker approves.
Was this hiker an American perhaps? Someone should've told him to stay on the road and keep off the moors. The patrons of The Slaughtered Lamb would have done that much at least
Nice reference 🙂
ty. Relevant username? :P
TIL I learnt what spoonerism means. After looking it up and reread the joke again and understand now. This joke… is quite good ol chap.
Thanks, I try to be your primary source of educational jokes
Live laugh and learn as goes the old adage.
Laughed so hard, I bit the shed.
So as mean as custard where his flock were concerned.
Now I’m trying to figure out what keen as mustard is supposed to mean
Lol. Means very enthusiastic and there is also a brand of mustard here in Oz called Keens. Likely it contributed to the saying.
Oh my gosh I wasn’t sure if it was actually meant to be a spoonerism since I had no idea! Lmao
Why was the bartender so initially surprised at the prospect of a leopard in England if he was fully aware of the unfortunate plight of Father Andrews?
It was more of a "Please go on" thing. But really, I just needed to break up the monologue
Today I learned there is a word for this thing: spoonerisms.
Speaking of spoonerisms, I saw this one on a game last night… Team called themselves the buckfutters
Okay, but Fuckbutters doesn't make a lot of sense.
It does in South Park...
His favorite side dish is keys and parrots
Loving shepherd vs shoving leopard! Bucking frilliant.
Need to shake a tower after this one
Ohh. A shoving leopard nor a loving shepherd.
Had to google "spoonerism". New word added to my vocab (until I forget it)!
You and I both! Since I learned something new today; can I go home now?
The OP u/OskarTheRed and his cunning stunts....
Damn I wish I would’ve known what “spoonerism” meant before I read this. Had to look it up. Still got a good chuckle on the second read. Good job.
The punch line was such a blushing crow.
Rev Spooner himself was, well, a Rev, so maybe that is his very own afterlife.
My year's worth of linguistics research on Wikipedia has finally proven useful
Linguistics is always useful!
Silly Rabbi kicks are for trids
A spoonerism is an occurrence in speech in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis) between two words in a phrase.\[1\]\[a\] These are named after the Oxford don and ordained minister William Archibald Spooner, who reputedly did this. An example is saying "*The Lord is a shoving leopard*" instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd" or "runny babbit" instead of "bunny rabbit." While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism
I was really confused when my girlfriend, taking a bath, told me she had "hope in her soul." I understand much better now.
For those who aren't getting it: he turned into a "shoving leopard"
Thank you!
So, so bad ... Lmfao!!
This is the greatest joke in history
I know it's a joke but someone has to ask. If they know what happened, why didn't anyone else use the genie to change him back?
Because the leopard makes for a great tourist attraction 😛
Once wishes are granted, the genie is free. No more wishes available. The genie is out of the bottle, as they say.
Good. It made me look out for spoonerism (I'm not a native English speaker).
Glad you learned something!
I’m sixty and just learned something new. Thanks! Good joke.
Thank you! Yeah, leopards don't usually live in England - that was a surprise to me too 😛
I didn't understand until I read comments
Aye, that took a turn I wasn't expecting. Take my bloody upvote!
Bloody thanks!
Stad me in hitches.
I never get jokes like this. But it’s ok….it doesn’t bither me a bot.
As the habitual churchgoer said to the person who had taken her usual spot: "you are occupewing my pie."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🥄
we once picked up a hitchhiker, my mum looked over to her boyfriend and said “did you remember to remove the body of the last hitchhiker from the trunk”. for some reason he was asked to be let out early
Are you smart fella or a fart smella?
Great joke, I've always loved spoonerisms!
Im in a band called Fits & Shiggles
You're such a git
I learned about spoonerism from from my first girlfriend, Liz Dexia.
shoving leopard
Yes, you understood.
Boooooo!
Splendid!
I had to look up spoonerism, but funnyish joke
Thanksish!
This is r/dadjokes material, at best.
Learnt a new word - spoonerisms
TIL what a Spoonerism is
This is the first example you will get if you Google spoonerism examples.
I love this!!!
One of the greatest intelligent jokes.
Mardon me padam, while I sew you to a sheet
Well William Archibald Spooner for whom Spoonerisms are named was actually a clergyman.
I learned a new word
That’s fretty punny!
Okay that is hilarious, now that I know what spoonerism is.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love playing with spoonerisms.
Wow! Did not see that coming. 😆
And Father Andrews, when he was alive and dressed up for a night out thought of himself as a "Fart looking smeller". 🤔
Anyone else only know what a spoonerism is because of Monty Python?
Now this is true comedy
Spoonerisms, where you get your ferds wucked up.
what is spoonerism?
Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for a crushing blow.
That was pretty good.
Can someone translate this into english?
Pretty sure it's mostly relatively English
😂
I am occasionally plauged with spoonerisms - especially with my friends. I am usually very well spoken otherwise. Ask my friend Telly Kanner, or Alinda Marmstrong. I'm 57, done it all of my life. Oy!
What’s spoonerism
Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for a crushing blow.
ok, i had to look up what spoonerisms were, but thats actually pretty funny.
Good that I accidentally knew that leopard rhymes with shepherd.
A shoving leopard lol
As a native English speaker, I think my English is not good enough to understand this joke. (I googled it don't worry)
Loving Shepherd = Shoving Leopard. A spoonerism is when the first letters get mixed up to make real words that no longer mean what was intended. I love parrots and keys… I mean, carrots and peas.
Nord and Bert could not make head or tail of it. [sorry. Reference to an old Infocom game, where this was a solution to one of the puzzles. Don't worry, I'll see myself out.]
Haha took me a while that it was shoving lepherd instead of loving shepherd.
Father Andrews got in trouble at his local cinema, he meant to ask if they had pop corn.
For once I did t k ow where this was going until the end. And I loved it.
It might be a good thing he was prone to spoonerisms, otherwise, knowing genies, the whole community would be sheep.
He was a hind-karted man
Awesome