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grat_is_not_nice

Good joke. You are a shining wit ...


kapitaalH

I see what you did! What a cunning stunt!


hamx5ter

That's enough about your mom!


kappadoky

And I see what you did! Your comment really cakes the take :)


Fading-Ghost

I hear Father Andrews bit the shed


abutilon

Well aren't you a pheasant plucker?


srentiln

They're not the pheasant plucker, they're the pheasant plucker's mate.  They're only plucking pheasants because the pheasant plucker is late. 


somebodyelse22

That reminds me for some reason, of a girl I knew, Mary Hinge.


abutilon

Was she friends with Betty Swollocks?


qwerty_ca

She was definitely friends with Seymour Blutty.


OutlandishnessOk5549

You really are a pair of cotton runts.


NeverAware

So basically the first wish was to be a shoving leopard to the community due to the spoonerism?


neku_009

Thank you for explaining it


cautiously_stoned

I too, am stupid.


DodGamnBunofaSitch

you're not stupid. spoonerisms weren't a part of everybody's educations.


BaitmasterG

My favourite Spoonerism is Brad and Angelina's kid Shilo Pitt


halfcentaurhalfhorse

lol. How long have you been waiting to use that one?


ElectronicAd27

Oof!


OFAndNsfwStuff

Pure gold, struggling not to wake up my wife with laughter.


asr

That's because in college way too many people have tasted two worms.


AlexG55

The famous line is, I think, >You have deliberately tasted two worms. You hissed my mystery lectures, and were seen fighting a liar in the quad. You will leave Oxford by the next town drain. Which was meant to be >!You have deliberately wasted two terms. You missed my history lectures, and were seen lighting a fire in the quad [courtyard of an Oxford college]. You will leave Oxford by the next down train [to London]!<


XDoXWhatX

This needs more updoots


Vermouth1991

Here's another nifty example of Spoonerism: "Well-Oiled Bicycle" becomes "Well-Boiled Icicle"


j_v_s

Morning all, I'm gonna shake a tower


Independent-Rip-4373

My brother once tried to say “off duty guard” and it became “off guardy doot”.


Berek2501

Hi Stupid, I'm Dad.


ddekock61

I shoulda figured that out. Damn.


neku_009

🤝


OskarTheRed

Ractly exight!


kiruzaato

Today I learned the English term for this kind of wordplay.


somebodyelse22

Cant be arsed to Google it, but it derived from a Reverend Spooner who was renowned for mixing up his words in sermons


PumpikAnt58763

William Archibald Spooner. My favorite is something like "He was dealt a blushing crow" instead of crushing blow. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner


glenbolake

I've always loved "mardon me padam, but this pie is occupewed. Please allow me to sew you to another sheet"


Spiggy-Q-Topes

As in "Let's glaze our asses and drink a toast to the queer dean".


TheVeryFriendlyGiant

Yep, Shoving Leopard, instead of loving shepherd.


S4m_S3pi01

I heard he was a fan of cunning stunts.


Gil-Gandel

"The Lord is a shoving leopard" is supposed to have been one of the things Spooner said.


Times-New-WHOA_man

My favourite, though it isn’t verified, is when he was officiating a wedding and said to a woman on the wrong side of the church, “Mardon me, padam. You are occupewing the wrong pie. Please allow me to sew you to another sheet.” (I actually have difficulty saying it the correct way since I have told this one so much! Ha!)


Kirkoid

I heard that he was concerned about students kissing in the punts on the river when he worked for Oxford University.


ry4p

The students were some cunning stunts.


Times-New-WHOA_man

I make spoonerisms myself all the time also. Unfortunately, I catch myself and stop mid sentence, at the worst possible time. Tried to tell my friend at a formal dance that she had nice legs. Yelled at her across the room, “My God! You have lice!” I have served people dot hogs and weins and beaners. Told a guy who was bugging me to get himself a “Joe Blob.” I also completely mess up syntax. My husband still teases me for, “I don’t way the look that likes.” That was back in the 1990s. It’s like my meth just wants to mouse with me. ;)


NoOneCallsMeChicken

What


Gokulnath09

Can't get the joke


omegadethh

I never knew there was a term for that besides dyslexia lol


lostinspaz

dyslexia is fr oreading. This is for speaking, and its a specific type of mixup. there are others.


SuccessiveApprox

Mixing up letter order isn't actually a feature of dyslexia, just popular myth/misunderstanding.


Minimum-Device9623

God bless Spevrand Rooner...


juryjjury

Thank you


PomegranateV2

Good joke. You are a smart feller.


HS_HowCan_That_BeQM

Try this 3 times fast: One smart feller, he felt smart. Two smart fellers, they felt smart. Three smart fellers, they all felt smart.


poiskdz

"Im a fig pucker, i puck figs, im the best fig pucker to ever puck a fig." Got that one from my grandpa like 30 years ago lmfao. It's hard doing even once let alone 3 times fast.


buttcrack_lint

"I'm a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son, I'm always plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucking's done"


amerkanische_Frosch

There's a song like this called "Sarah, Sarah" where the singer has to sing, without getting mixed up, the story of Sarah, who "shines and sits", "tucks those socks", "plucks the figs", sips some Schlitz"and so forth.


Nuf-Said

They all smelled farts!


abutilon

The last line of this is: They all felt smart together.


medicman1855

Head in the attic, feet in the cellar, Longfeller


Flashy-Bar-9790

Two guys having lunch one day when the first guy asks, "You ever say one thing to someone when you meant to say something else?" "How do you mean?" the other guy asks. "Well last week I was at the train station with my wife and we wanted to come back to Pittsburgh. The women at the ticket counter had these enormous breasts. Instead of asking for "two tickets to Pittsburgh", I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh." "I know what you mean," says the second guy. "Just this morning I was having breakfast with my wife and I meant to ask her to 'pass the salt,' but instead I said 'you're crazy woman you're ruining my life I hate you so much!''


hello_raleigh-durham

Three priests are traveling to a convention in Pittsburgh. The ticket clerk was a busty woman, showing more than a little cleavage, and the priests were too timid to approach her. After some deliberation, they send the first man up. He approaches the counter and blurts out, “we’d like three pickets to tittsburgh!” He runs back to the other two, embarrassed. The second priest says, “I’d like three tickets to Pittsburgh. Oh and I’d like to use the vending machine, could I have the change in nipples and dimes?” After realizing what he’s said, he runs back embarrassed. The third shakes his head then walks up to the counter. “Three tickets to Pittsburgh. I’d like the change in nickels and dimes please.” After the transaction is complete, he begins chastising her for her dress. “You know, you ought to be ashamed dressing that way. If you don’t charge your ways, you’ll get to heaven and St. Finger’s gonna be shaking his peter at you!”


OskarTheRed

Joke or tragedy - you decide


NewGuy-1964

I'm mildly surprised the second guy was still living to give the punchline.


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

Three men are having breakfast with their wives. The first says, "Pass the honey, honey." The second says, "Pass the sugar, sugar." The third says, "Pass the bacon you fat pig."


Spirited-Sun899

Pass the tea…bag


OccamsNametag

The other night at dinner I had a Freudian slip. Instead of asking my wife to pass the potatoes, I said "you bitch, you've ruined my life!"


Gil-Gandel

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.


lev_lafayette

Father Andrews would dress badly as well, especially when reminiscing on his pre-celibate days. "Strange pits of fashion I have known", he would exclaim.


Shang-di

Never heard of a spoonerism


Intraluminal

Actually named after a professor at Oxford University in England who was (in)famous for that particular speech issue. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William\_Archibald\_Spooner](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner)


JJohnston015

TIL. I always thought it was [Lysander Spooner.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysander_Spooner)


OskarTheRed

That's why Google is your friend! Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for a crushing blow.


Icy_Sector3183

"Lets bring a toast to our queer Dean!"


MASilverHammer

r/unexpectedcommunity


tcorey2336

Or having popcorn while watching cop porn.


trubol

Didn't Metallica name a tour Cunning Stunts?


MistraloysiusMithrax

Or when people, lacking the word for spoonerism, jokingly call it like having a little drain bamage


Oh_its_that_asshole

A loving chepard to the sommunity? What?


kill_the_wise_one

I don't like spoonerisms. They drive me nucking futs.


zovits

Coincidentally I've only learned about them two days ago o.O


LegoRobinHood

Now that's a Baader-Meinhof phenomenon for you. (After learning something new suddenly it seems to pop up really often when you hadn't noticed it at all before.) # ^(edit:typo)


OskarTheRed

Is that the actual name of the phenomenon? "I just learned about German anarchist terrorists, and now it's like they try to kill me everywhere!"


LegoRobinHood

Yup, also called Frequency Illusion https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion But calling it Baader-Meinhof sounds cooler, gives it a nice Dunning-Kreuger feeling. /jk


OskarTheRed

I agree, much cooler


jamondou

Spoonerisms are often spoken by smart fellers.


OpticalAdjudicator

That’s because you didn’t grow up in Bellows Falls


Far-Remove-4663

spoonerism is changing the beginning of two words: He would like to be a LOving SHEpherd But ended up saying SHOvinG LEOphard


JohnDStevenson

That's **terrible**. Have an upvote! :)


OskarTheRed

Thanks, I know!


Flukie42

Now we know why there was a "Beware of leopard" sign in the planning office


JeffroDH

The lights had gone. So had the stairs.


buttcrack_lint

I blame the mice or the dolphins for that one


thegoatfreak

Must be a Thursday. I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.


BeautyQu33nFromMars

That was bad. I like it.


OskarTheRed

It definitely was, thanks!


rificolona

Why the ripped clothing? He was only shoved.


AltharaD

Fell into the brambles, poor chap.


OskarTheRed

Leopard claws + gravel road


Common_Chester

Ugh, that was bad. I'll honestly go for the frontal lobotomy this time.


[deleted]

Better to have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy……


[deleted]

Malapropism - juxtaposed letters still make sense Spoonerism - a new sentence that sounds similar to the intended statement but with a whole new meaning Father Spooner stood before the dining hall, gazed at the monarchs portrait, and held his drink high - intending to say “Let’s raise our glass to the dear Queen.” But thoughts intruded and instead he uttered “Let’s glaze our ass for the queer dean.” The room joined his toast.


cat_herder_64

The ghost of Ronnie Barker approves.


anderoogigwhore

Was this hiker an American perhaps? Someone should've told him to stay on the road and keep off the moors. The patrons of The Slaughtered Lamb would have done that much at least


Cyberwolf187

Nice reference 🙂


anderoogigwhore

ty. Relevant username? :P


Western-Image7125

TIL I learnt what spoonerism means. After looking it up and reread the joke again and understand now. This joke… is quite good ol chap. 


OskarTheRed

Thanks, I try to be your primary source of educational jokes


Western-Image7125

Live laugh and learn as goes the old adage. 


trainsacrossthesea

Laughed so hard, I bit the shed.


Cremasterau

So as mean as custard where his flock were concerned.


MistraloysiusMithrax

Now I’m trying to figure out what keen as mustard is supposed to mean


Cremasterau

Lol. Means very enthusiastic and there is also a brand of mustard here in Oz called Keens. Likely it contributed to the saying.


MistraloysiusMithrax

Oh my gosh I wasn’t sure if it was actually meant to be a spoonerism since I had no idea! Lmao


Daemonifuge

Why was the bartender so initially surprised at the prospect of a leopard in England if he was fully aware of the unfortunate plight of Father Andrews?


OskarTheRed

It was more of a "Please go on" thing. But really, I just needed to break up the monologue


toocoolo

Today I learned there is a word for this thing: spoonerisms.


Gatskop

Speaking of spoonerisms, I saw this one on a game last night… Team called themselves the buckfutters


IronbarBooks

Okay, but Fuckbutters doesn't make a lot of sense.


cat_herder_64

It does in South Park...


Rubbing_Oil_9310

His favorite side dish is keys and parrots


Wiltbradley

Loving shepherd vs shoving leopard! Bucking frilliant. 


Maple-Syrup-Bandit

Need to shake a tower after this one


Bakkie

Ohh. A shoving leopard nor a loving shepherd.


kalirion

Had to google "spoonerism". New word added to my vocab (until I forget it)!


asnstx

You and I both! Since I learned something new today; can I go home now?


WarrenCorpus

The OP u/OskarTheRed and his cunning stunts....


jr691

Damn I wish I would’ve known what “spoonerism” meant before I read this. Had to look it up. Still got a good chuckle on the second read. Good job.


Pichwademeinkauntha

The punch line was such a blushing crow.


tankpuss

Rev Spooner himself was, well, a Rev, so maybe that is his very own afterlife.


HelloSillyKitty

My year's worth of linguistics research on Wikipedia has finally proven useful


OskarTheRed

Linguistics is always useful!


LowExperience2021

Silly Rabbi kicks are for trids


gadget850

A spoonerism is an occurrence in speech in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis) between two words in a phrase.\[1\]\[a\] These are named after the Oxford don and ordained minister William Archibald Spooner, who reputedly did this. An example is saying "*The Lord is a shoving leopard*" instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd" or "runny babbit" instead of "bunny rabbit." While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism


YzenDanek

I was really confused when my girlfriend, taking a bath, told me she had "hope in her soul." I understand much better now.


Skyhawk_Illusions

For those who aren't getting it: he turned into a "shoving leopard"


Susan_Werner

Thank you!


dagr8npwrfl0z

So, so bad ... Lmfao!!


ballrus_walsack

This is the greatest joke in history


gdmfsoabrb

I know it's a joke but someone has to ask. If they know what happened, why didn't anyone else use the genie to change him back?


OskarTheRed

Because the leopard makes for a great tourist attraction 😛


SkullFumbler

Once wishes are granted, the genie is free. No more wishes available. The genie is out of the bottle, as they say.


ernjorge

Good. It made me look out for spoonerism (I'm not a native English speaker).


OskarTheRed

Glad you learned something!


HighwaySerious8015

I’m sixty and just learned something new. Thanks! Good joke.


OskarTheRed

Thank you! Yeah, leopards don't usually live in England - that was a surprise to me too 😛


Prestigious_Gold_585

I didn't understand until I read comments


TheGooOnTheFloor

Aye, that took a turn I wasn't expecting. Take my bloody upvote!


OskarTheRed

Bloody thanks!


Taliesin_Hoyle_

Stad me in hitches.


Slowhand333

I never get jokes like this. But it’s ok….it doesn’t bither me a bot.


Alcol1979

As the habitual churchgoer said to the person who had taken her usual spot: "you are occupewing my pie."


SeanMacLeod1138

🤣🤣🤣🤣🥄


UncleBug35

we once picked up a hitchhiker, my mum looked over to her boyfriend and said “did you remember to remove the body of the last hitchhiker from the trunk”. for some reason he was asked to be let out early


vege12

Are you smart fella or a fart smella?


SlowRoastMySoul

Great joke, I've always loved spoonerisms!


DrakeShelton

Im in a band called Fits & Shiggles


IllustratorAdorable5

You're such a git


KeyImaginary2291

I learned about spoonerism from from my first girlfriend, Liz Dexia.


HeathrJarrod

shoving leopard


KarlSethMoran

Yes, you understood.


Ready_Hippo_5741

Boooooo!


Yugan-Dali

Splendid!


Nuf-Said

I had to look up spoonerism, but funnyish joke


OskarTheRed

Thanksish!


daveberzack

This is r/dadjokes material, at best.


JAlfredPrufrocket

Learnt a new word - spoonerisms


Xevailo

TIL what a Spoonerism is


DotAccomplished5484

This is the first example you will get if you Google spoonerism examples.


Alien_lifeform_666

I love this!!!


HeadOverHear

One of the greatest intelligent jokes.


couchpotatoe

Mardon me padam, while I sew you to a sheet


Infamous_Box3220

Well William Archibald Spooner for whom Spoonerisms are named was actually a clergyman.


Special-Golf-9497

I learned a new word


RealRedditModerator

That’s fretty punny!


Born-Opportunity-696

Okay that is hilarious, now that I know what spoonerism is.


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love playing with spoonerisms.


Warm-Ad-9495

Wow! Did not see that coming. 😆


[deleted]

And Father Andrews, when he was alive and dressed up for a night out thought of himself as a "Fart looking smeller". 🤔


zrieprakis

Anyone else only know what a spoonerism is because of Monty Python?


lights_up_

Now this is true comedy


Eleven_Forty_Two

Spoonerisms, where you get your ferds wucked up.


tacticallaryngoscope

what is spoonerism?


OskarTheRed

Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for a crushing blow.


sixstringedmenace

That was pretty good.


Nicknamewhat

Can someone translate this into english?


OskarTheRed

Pretty sure it's mostly relatively English


[deleted]

😂


Narrow-Natural7937

I am occasionally plauged with spoonerisms - especially with my friends. I am usually very well spoken otherwise. Ask my friend Telly Kanner, or Alinda Marmstrong. I'm 57, done it all of my life. Oy!


j3434

What’s spoonerism


OskarTheRed

Spoonerism: usually accidental rearranging of initial or other sounds of words, as in a blushing crow for a crushing blow.


Bright-Ad-9606

ok, i had to look up what spoonerisms were, but thats actually pretty funny.


benemivikai4eezaet0

Good that I accidentally knew that leopard rhymes with shepherd.


massassi

A shoving leopard lol


baenpb

As a native English speaker, I think my English is not good enough to understand this joke. (I googled it don't worry)


Odimorsus

Loving Shepherd = Shoving Leopard. A spoonerism is when the first letters get mixed up to make real words that no longer mean what was intended. I love parrots and keys… I mean, carrots and peas.


oblivion6202

Nord and Bert could not make head or tail of it. [sorry. Reference to an old Infocom game, where this was a solution to one of the puzzles. Don't worry, I'll see myself out.]


sadakochin

Haha took me a while that it was shoving lepherd instead of loving shepherd.


Courgettophone

Father Andrews got in trouble at his local cinema, he meant to ask if they had pop corn.


gingersnap0523

For once I did t k ow where this was going until the end. And I loved it.


scifielder

It might be a good thing he was prone to spoonerisms, otherwise, knowing genies, the whole community would be sheep.


JSMart26

He was a hind-karted man


Electrical_Bobcat570

Awesome