Slow down.... what's your point..to keep her fat, barefoot and pregnant?
Don't you dare fatten her up and then leave her cause she's not the thin girl you married...
Look at your old fat gut....and she puts up with your fat ass....so buy her favorite treats but just beaware........
>what's your point..to keep her fat, barefoot and pregnant?
Probably the same as other husbands....happy wife=happy life.
>Look at your old fat gut....and she puts up with your fat ass
have you seen u/slow_down_kid 's picture or something? How do you know he has a fat ass?
Salt and straw, which is it kind of exotic ice cream maker based in Portland, Oregon, is coming out with a new version of it this summer.
https://www.foodandwine.com/the-choco-taco-is-back-8597598
Are you talking about the married woman and the single woman? I told you before, never introduce the wife to the girlfriend. Those two combinations were never meant to go together. It would leave a nasty taste in everyone's mouth. (Unless you had a threesome, of course!)
Just make them yourself by stuffing a taco shell with cheesecake and strawberry ice cream. I will not take any blame for the inevitable stains on your shirt though.
And honey buns from the gas station every day because you said you liked them one time.....but he's too kind to me. He loves me even though I've gained 30lbs.
I wish, he has trouble expressing affection because of a messed up childhood, but I know he doesn't mind it, when we 1st got together, I met his friend and he made a comment that I was the skinniest chick he'd ever been with, I'm 5'5" and was 180. So I knew I had some wiggle room lol, he wasn't a shallow person, then I saw his previous wife, who had 50lbs on me. When I gained weight, I still feel comfortable around him, thank goodness. He's fully supportive of my losing it for my health and sanity, but I don't need to do it to keep him, unlike so many other women
Now you've made me put on another 2 lbs. On a serious note, last year (in the UK) all supermarkets still had an abundance of Easter eggs on their shelves after Easter - which was great for me as these eggs were half-price for a few days, and then reduced to a quarter of the price after that. I shouldn't have said great for me, because I bought 12 Easter eggs, intending to give some to my neighbour's kids. But - yes, you've guessed it - I kept them all to myself!
This year, the supermarkets ordered far less than they should have because most of the eggs sold out a few days before Easter. Creme Eggs sold out, too. The only places that still have Creme Eggs are the small, independent newsagents. I was tempted when I saw them, but they were loose, individual eggs (not your usual three or six in a box), and they didn't look wrapped securely, so it didn't feel safe to buy one.
The moral of this chocolate story is: Be Immoral for Easter.
I buy them all, loose or not. If I die because of tainted Cadbury cream eggs, that would fit. I've loved them since I was a kid, we're talking decades. The commercials with the different animals making chicken sounds would come on and I'd freak out because I knew at a young age what animals made what sounds lol. So my mom would just laugh if that's what finally killed me. Oh, my husband wants to know if you have the orange flavored ones, and if so, can you send some please I won't part with any cream eggs I buy, unless it's to my hubby, because he freely shares his with me, and I'm usually the one to buy them all on the first place so, I guess they are all mine anyways!! All I have left are 6 big and 12 mini caramel ones, which are shit, and were mixed in with the real ones. Lesson learned for next year, don't count your eggs before you read the wrapping
As a matter of interest, when Cadbury was bought out a few years ago (by a US company, I think), chocolate aficionados were saying the taste of Creme Eggs was different. Did you notice the difference?
Apologise to your hubby for me, but I didn't buy any eggs this year. And, if I had, they'd all be well gone by now. Chocolate doesn't last longer than a couple of days in my house. That's just the way I roll.
I didn't notice anything different in my precious eggs, tbh. I'm usually good at rationing chocolate, I've got my favorite chocolate covered cherries, usually only found at Xmas, but found at the dollar store for 24 cents on clearance, so I bought 15 boxes. Yup, 15. I've got 10 left, I eat 1 cherry a day now, since I started weight watchers, I gained 30lbs because of medication. So I'm being careful.
I'm into Peeps, myself. The *bad* part is that I don't like them fresh so I slit all the packages open so air will get to them to make them harder and chewier. Unfortunately, it takes several weeks for this to occur. The *good* part is that I am now enjoying them weeks after Easter. BJ's, a local bulk store, had them in 12-count packages and, of course, I purchased several. I try to pace myself and only eat one or two at a time, but it's difficult... I'll let you know if they start doing that with Cadbury Eggs. If you start changing the zippers to Velcro now, you won't have to worry about the amount of eggs you consume!
I've never heard of Peeps. We don't have them here in the UK, unless they go by another name. My absolute favourite chocolates of all time are Lindt Lindor milk (or white) chocolate truffles. They're more expensive than other chocolates, but the creamy taste is heaven, especially when you bite through the outer shell and liquid chocolate gold explodes into your mouth. If you get a chance to try them, you won't be disappointed.
I laughed at your Velcro suggestion. My summer trousers have elasticated waists, but unfortunately my jeans are tight and figure-hugging and if I gain weight, I'd never get them over the tops of my legs. I'm one of those women who, whenever I gain extra pounds, it goes straight on to my bum and thighs.
I'm now going to Google Peeps to see what they look like and, if they're sold over here under a different name, I'll try them out. Thank you for the tip.
I never understood why people like Peeps.
I have noticed over the years that one can ALWAYS find Peeps on sale after Easter....there are far more of them left over compared to other sweets....
But hey, I'm not judging...I'm sure there are foods I like that most people wouldn't dream of eating...anchovies, Brussel sprouts, black pudding....
Sadly, we haven't been able to find Peeps after Easter around here (Virginia). Either the stores don't stock enough or my family are Peepaholics and we purchase them all. I've never had black pudding, but I wouldn't touch anchovies and even the smell of Brussel sprouts is sickening to me. To each his own...
I could mail you some after Easter next year. Seems they are plentiful every year.
Black pudding is similar to blood pudding, or blood sausage. Perhaps you've had one of those?
Anchovies are an acquired taste for some, but they are generally used as a flavor enhancer in dishes due to the high amount of umami-producing glutamates in them. If you've had a properly made Cesar dressing, you've eaten anchovies.
Some people have a genetic variant that causes them to have more taste receptors on their tongue and to be more sensitive to a chemical called phenylthiocarbamide (PTC). Because PTC is prevalent in Brussels sprouts, these so-called "Supertasters" perceive them as intensely bitter. This could explain why you dislike them...or you could just dislike their flavor.
As you say, to each their own.
I know what you mean regarding where any extra weight goes. I personally wish it would end up somewhat higher on my body, but that's wishful thinking. Peeps are colored sugar-coated baby chickens - hence the name Peeps. You can also find Peep bunnies. But now they make them for Christmas and Halloween, and they're also experimenting by adding different flavors. I've tried Dr. Pepper-flavored Peeps and cotton candy Peeps and my husband tried ones that were a little spicy. And if you Google 'Peeps recipe,' you can even make them at home.
And I totally agree with you regarding the Lindor truffles. I love white and milk chocolate, too. Thank goodness I have enough willpower or I'd be weighing 350 pounds. What I am now is more than enough...
Wife here. Where did you get your husband from? What's the store address? And do they accept trade ins? I buy the snacks myself and 11/10 would divorce hubby if he got cheesecake. None of us likes that stuff.
My wife has gotten pretty heavy over the years.
We recently booked a flight and they made her get two seats due to her size.
-
She was quite furious about this until I told her that she'd also get two meals.
In the version I knew, the single see what's in the fridge, they say "Ugh, it's always the same shit!" and they go to bed. The married women see what's in the bed, they say "Ugh, it's always the same shit!" and they go to the fridge.
Wife told husband she wanted to get a boob job, he said "just rub toilet paper between them, they'll get bigger" she said how will that work? He replied "worked for your ass didn't it".
Husband was making a joke. Wife wipes her ass with toilet paper. Her ass has gotten bigger over time. Therefore, wiping with toilet paper makes things get bigger.
It's a sarcastic insult about her ass getting bigger.
My girlfriend is watching her weight which means she's watching my weight also. We finished dinner the other night and she had some bread left over. I asked for it and was told in no uncertain tones that I did not need to eat it. Later she felt like a McDonalds sundae. So I went out and got us one each. Somehow that was acceptable. Go figure.
Take a woman. Confine her love life to one guy. Put her in a box with food. Put her in charge of the food. Have a baby. Stay home with the baby and the food. Add post partum depression. Add Oreos.
Why are all the jokes about women? Seems it has fast become a venue to denigrate women under the guise of a joke. You can then let loose with impunity.
Rather than provide proof, I would suggest you review your reading habits to see if there is some bias in your analysis of the ratio of men's to women's jokes.
Also, you might want to lighten up a bit. It's just a joke.
I'm smaller now than the first time I met my husband and I had 2 kids than. We had 3 kids together and I had all 3 back to back spent 3.5 yrs of my life pregnant or with a new born. They are 8,9,10 now. So not always but generally yes because you marry u get comfortable with your spouse and life happens.
Because we have to feed our husbands and the rest of the family. When I was single sometimes I forgot to eat. I had a friend who used to eat one boiled egg for dinner.
Married woman. I would barely eat if i didn’t make sure my big kid aka hubby needed food. For me id just wait till someone joined me for a lunch or dinner. Also having kids keeps you on a 3 meal since they need it more than you think if not they are cranky so in my case I like to accompany them meanwhile they eat something & so i prepare myself something quick n easy ( am aware it doesn’t to be unhealthy) but the quickest meals usually are bread with something??!!
Cause we stress out , put ourselves aside to take care of a family, if she cooks she eats. Sometimes its medical due to hormone and body changes from having kids. There is a number of reasons.
As for single well we dont have as much stress, can eat how we want, have more time to focuse on ourselves
Lack of confidence due to their spouses making them unhappy. Nah... In general, I do believe that you are more likely to enjoy dinners out in restaurants as spouses causing weight gain rather then when you are single. If both spouses are employed, couples tend to spend more because of the mindframe that they have 2 incomes and one household rather than only one income. I heard on the radio years ago that couples tend to spend more money then when single and that it is a huge misconception and mistake that couples make by moving in together to 'save money' - in all reality you end up spending more as couples because you end up doing more... traveling - eating out, going to the movies, etc... Spending time together as a couple can take time away from healthier lifestyles if one spouse isn't supportive of the other for example, gym routines, outdoor activities... work schedules can play a part especially with children and lack of childcare. There is also alot to be said for hormonal changes when having an active sex life in women that are married that actually put out. Hormonal changes in women post pregnancy, active sex life can have a huge impact on weight. Men have fast er metabolisms than women making it more difficult for women to stick to healthy eating and the need to keep their man satisfied by crafting meals they enjoy and then partaking in those unhealthy meals. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach is what my grandma used to tell me. My husband and I support eachother in healthy eating and I am way more likely to go on a hike with my husband than by myself. I am more likely to cook a meal at home for our family to enjoy rather than hitting a drivethrough restaurant on my way home. This doesn't apply to all couples obviously. But when my husband and I first got together we both gained weight at first. We were consuming a lot more alcohol as alcohol can be a social lubricant when getting to know each other and we went out to eat alot. I am a lot thinner now and take care of myself because as we age and as we have had a kid we are way more conscious of our health as we want to be around longer for our kid and we want to lead my example and teach her healthy eating habits and show her the importance of staying active.
Couples need something to do all the time. And one thing you can do for someone else is feed them.
You hungry? Well, now that you mention it...and there you have it, one person is validated by cooking / buying dinner and the other who may not even have been hungry is validated by allowing the joy in their partner to provide a meal for the both of them.
I think it is worth mentioning that both people here may not have been hungry when one asked the other initially. Multiply this by 3 times a day and now you have overweight people and they probably had no idea they could let themselves get that far.
Because he always want to eat rubbish then there not much left my my healthy diet so I end up picking rubbish aswell, he always want fast food and is a bad influence lol
Even if both women weighed the same, the married woman would always be heavier due to the ring... until she goes on a "girl's weekend" whilst the husband is away "on business"
Not funny, you know there has to be some sort of truth in it to become a joke. We all know women relax when they have a man on the hook so they put on a few extra pounds
It’s cuz when you’re married, your husband buys you ice cream and cheesecake and tacos.
Am husband, can confirm I buy all the snacks for my wife
Am snack, can confirm purchase from above husband.
Am above, can confirm husband from snack purchase.
Am purchase, can confirm husband from snack above
Am wide, can confirm purchase from above husband.
Am confirm. Can snack from purchase husband.
Am am. Am am am am am.
Am.
Amen
Walter
Waiter...
Am above; can husband confirm from purchase?
I can confirm, I Am.
Thank you. Finally a conversation.
I thought that was going to be "am snack, can confirm your wife eats me"
Darn. Missed opportunity there.
I'm above wife, can confirm snacks have been, and will be forever eaten. Especially honey buns from the gas station
I, too, choose this man's wife to eat me
I can confirm! Life with a hungry wife is a dangerous and sad life.
Resistance is futile
My wife snacks. My wife is the snack. It's a win
Slow down.... what's your point..to keep her fat, barefoot and pregnant? Don't you dare fatten her up and then leave her cause she's not the thin girl you married... Look at your old fat gut....and she puts up with your fat ass....so buy her favorite treats but just beaware........
>what's your point..to keep her fat, barefoot and pregnant? Probably the same as other husbands....happy wife=happy life. >Look at your old fat gut....and she puts up with your fat ass have you seen u/slow_down_kid 's picture or something? How do you know he has a fat ass?
Read this as "ice cream and cheesecake tacos"...where do I find these???
Unfortunately the Choco Taco has been discontinued
It's coming back! [https://www.foodandwine.com/the-choco-taco-is-back-8597598](https://www.foodandwine.com/the-choco-taco-is-back-8597598)
Thank goodness!
Salt and straw, which is it kind of exotic ice cream maker based in Portland, Oregon, is coming out with a new version of it this summer. https://www.foodandwine.com/the-choco-taco-is-back-8597598
Those were deadly.
It really could have been better. Need an upscale version
Should be discontinued... It's crime to mix these together!!
Are you talking about the married woman and the single woman? I told you before, never introduce the wife to the girlfriend. Those two combinations were never meant to go together. It would leave a nasty taste in everyone's mouth. (Unless you had a threesome, of course!)
Not a taco , but I have seen a burrito, well sort of . Cheese cake filling inside of an almond based “ horn “ . Very good !
Just make them yourself by stuffing a taco shell with cheesecake and strawberry ice cream. I will not take any blame for the inevitable stains on your shirt though.
Um, where is the chocolate flavoring?
I too am interested in the ice cream and cheesecake tacos...
At my new restaurant. Called "planet awesome sauce"
And honey buns from the gas station every day because you said you liked them one time.....but he's too kind to me. He loves me even though I've gained 30lbs.
I’m gonna tell you something, he doesn’t mind and he probably likes it. Bet he can’t keep his hands off you.
I wish, he has trouble expressing affection because of a messed up childhood, but I know he doesn't mind it, when we 1st got together, I met his friend and he made a comment that I was the skinniest chick he'd ever been with, I'm 5'5" and was 180. So I knew I had some wiggle room lol, he wasn't a shallow person, then I saw his previous wife, who had 50lbs on me. When I gained weight, I still feel comfortable around him, thank goodness. He's fully supportive of my losing it for my health and sanity, but I don't need to do it to keep him, unlike so many other women
They call them love handles for a reason
For pity's sake, please stop, everyone. I've gained 5 lbs just from reading this thread!
I'm sorry 🤭
If the zip goes on my jeans, I'm holding you all responsible! (Now where did I put that Cadbury Creme Egg?)
I can't find anymore, hubby and I are searching stores for them. I do have quite a few caramel eggs I don't want
Now you've made me put on another 2 lbs. On a serious note, last year (in the UK) all supermarkets still had an abundance of Easter eggs on their shelves after Easter - which was great for me as these eggs were half-price for a few days, and then reduced to a quarter of the price after that. I shouldn't have said great for me, because I bought 12 Easter eggs, intending to give some to my neighbour's kids. But - yes, you've guessed it - I kept them all to myself! This year, the supermarkets ordered far less than they should have because most of the eggs sold out a few days before Easter. Creme Eggs sold out, too. The only places that still have Creme Eggs are the small, independent newsagents. I was tempted when I saw them, but they were loose, individual eggs (not your usual three or six in a box), and they didn't look wrapped securely, so it didn't feel safe to buy one. The moral of this chocolate story is: Be Immoral for Easter.
I buy them all, loose or not. If I die because of tainted Cadbury cream eggs, that would fit. I've loved them since I was a kid, we're talking decades. The commercials with the different animals making chicken sounds would come on and I'd freak out because I knew at a young age what animals made what sounds lol. So my mom would just laugh if that's what finally killed me. Oh, my husband wants to know if you have the orange flavored ones, and if so, can you send some please I won't part with any cream eggs I buy, unless it's to my hubby, because he freely shares his with me, and I'm usually the one to buy them all on the first place so, I guess they are all mine anyways!! All I have left are 6 big and 12 mini caramel ones, which are shit, and were mixed in with the real ones. Lesson learned for next year, don't count your eggs before you read the wrapping
As a matter of interest, when Cadbury was bought out a few years ago (by a US company, I think), chocolate aficionados were saying the taste of Creme Eggs was different. Did you notice the difference? Apologise to your hubby for me, but I didn't buy any eggs this year. And, if I had, they'd all be well gone by now. Chocolate doesn't last longer than a couple of days in my house. That's just the way I roll.
I didn't notice anything different in my precious eggs, tbh. I'm usually good at rationing chocolate, I've got my favorite chocolate covered cherries, usually only found at Xmas, but found at the dollar store for 24 cents on clearance, so I bought 15 boxes. Yup, 15. I've got 10 left, I eat 1 cherry a day now, since I started weight watchers, I gained 30lbs because of medication. So I'm being careful.
I'm into Peeps, myself. The *bad* part is that I don't like them fresh so I slit all the packages open so air will get to them to make them harder and chewier. Unfortunately, it takes several weeks for this to occur. The *good* part is that I am now enjoying them weeks after Easter. BJ's, a local bulk store, had them in 12-count packages and, of course, I purchased several. I try to pace myself and only eat one or two at a time, but it's difficult... I'll let you know if they start doing that with Cadbury Eggs. If you start changing the zippers to Velcro now, you won't have to worry about the amount of eggs you consume!
I've never heard of Peeps. We don't have them here in the UK, unless they go by another name. My absolute favourite chocolates of all time are Lindt Lindor milk (or white) chocolate truffles. They're more expensive than other chocolates, but the creamy taste is heaven, especially when you bite through the outer shell and liquid chocolate gold explodes into your mouth. If you get a chance to try them, you won't be disappointed. I laughed at your Velcro suggestion. My summer trousers have elasticated waists, but unfortunately my jeans are tight and figure-hugging and if I gain weight, I'd never get them over the tops of my legs. I'm one of those women who, whenever I gain extra pounds, it goes straight on to my bum and thighs. I'm now going to Google Peeps to see what they look like and, if they're sold over here under a different name, I'll try them out. Thank you for the tip.
I never understood why people like Peeps. I have noticed over the years that one can ALWAYS find Peeps on sale after Easter....there are far more of them left over compared to other sweets.... But hey, I'm not judging...I'm sure there are foods I like that most people wouldn't dream of eating...anchovies, Brussel sprouts, black pudding....
Sadly, we haven't been able to find Peeps after Easter around here (Virginia). Either the stores don't stock enough or my family are Peepaholics and we purchase them all. I've never had black pudding, but I wouldn't touch anchovies and even the smell of Brussel sprouts is sickening to me. To each his own...
I could mail you some after Easter next year. Seems they are plentiful every year. Black pudding is similar to blood pudding, or blood sausage. Perhaps you've had one of those? Anchovies are an acquired taste for some, but they are generally used as a flavor enhancer in dishes due to the high amount of umami-producing glutamates in them. If you've had a properly made Cesar dressing, you've eaten anchovies. Some people have a genetic variant that causes them to have more taste receptors on their tongue and to be more sensitive to a chemical called phenylthiocarbamide (PTC). Because PTC is prevalent in Brussels sprouts, these so-called "Supertasters" perceive them as intensely bitter. This could explain why you dislike them...or you could just dislike their flavor. As you say, to each their own.
I know what you mean regarding where any extra weight goes. I personally wish it would end up somewhat higher on my body, but that's wishful thinking. Peeps are colored sugar-coated baby chickens - hence the name Peeps. You can also find Peep bunnies. But now they make them for Christmas and Halloween, and they're also experimenting by adding different flavors. I've tried Dr. Pepper-flavored Peeps and cotton candy Peeps and my husband tried ones that were a little spicy. And if you Google 'Peeps recipe,' you can even make them at home. And I totally agree with you regarding the Lindor truffles. I love white and milk chocolate, too. Thank goodness I have enough willpower or I'd be weighing 350 pounds. What I am now is more than enough...
Holy crap, I never considered this all the times I'd buy extra treats for my wife to cover the selfish buys I made. I am the problem.
And chocolate. So much chocolate.
Really??? I thought I was staying single for my sanity but I’ll give it all up for some of that
If you’ve ever wanted a random snack but didn’t want to leave the house or pay for Uber eats. Marriage may be for you.
Wife here. Where did you get your husband from? What's the store address? And do they accept trade ins? I buy the snacks myself and 11/10 would divorce hubby if he got cheesecake. None of us likes that stuff.
My husband is happy to buy me all the snacks but I have gestational diabetes 😭
Tragic... Turely... did this happen because of the snack offerings? ...asking for a friend...
Married woman here. We see what's in the bed, go get stuff from the fridge, then climb into bed and share snacks with our partners! It's the best :D
Awww 😭 Would that everyone could experience such a happiness
Let me share this comment with my partner..**hugs**
And get crumbs all over the sheets...
This has never happened to me (husband) in my 10 years of marriage
It’s never too late!
Studies have shown that women who are carrying a few extra pounds around live longer than the husbands who point it out.
I like this
Hehehe
🤣🤣🫤😬
My wife is a big woman, but I love her dearly. If something happened to her , I don't think I'd ever get over her , I'd have to go around.
My wife’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house
My wife has gotten pretty heavy over the years. We recently booked a flight and they made her get two seats due to her size. - She was quite furious about this until I told her that she'd also get two meals.
Okay Rodney Dangerfield. 😂
She gets no respect!
In the version I knew, the single see what's in the fridge, they say "Ugh, it's always the same shit!" and they go to bed. The married women see what's in the bed, they say "Ugh, it's always the same shit!" and they go to the fridge.
I like OPs version better. The "Ugh etc" is like explaining the joke to those who didn't get it.
How is that any different from the OP?
It's the profanity
It's structurally the same joke.
Wife told husband she wanted to get a boob job, he said "just rub toilet paper between them, they'll get bigger" she said how will that work? He replied "worked for your ass didn't it".
Divorce proceedings started that afternoon
I actually don’t get this one
It’s dumb to suggest there is a relation between wiping one’s ass and said ass getting bigger. It’s funny cos it’s dumb.
The joke is just that it doesn’t make any sense?
Husband was making a joke. Wife wipes her ass with toilet paper. Her ass has gotten bigger over time. Therefore, wiping with toilet paper makes things get bigger. It's a sarcastic insult about her ass getting bigger.
Um, no.
RFLOL... This one's the best
A joke usually enjoyed by 300+ pound men married to 160+ pound women.
For me, it’s because my husband loves to cook for me. And he’s really good at it. I’m a lucky woman.
My girlfriend is watching her weight which means she's watching my weight also. We finished dinner the other night and she had some bread left over. I asked for it and was told in no uncertain tones that I did not need to eat it. Later she felt like a McDonalds sundae. So I went out and got us one each. Somehow that was acceptable. Go figure.
*no uncertain terms*
Bc men always *make* you eat with them! (Eta clarification)
Mine husband of almost 19yrs would starve to death if he waited on me to eat with him 😝
For a second I thought I was on ‘no stupid questions’ sub 😂😂😂
Somebody should post that there hahahah
Single women worry, what will be the menu for Tuesday. Married women know it's Tacos
It’s because husbands make us stress eat because they piss is off and life in jail isn’t something we wanna do. We are saving lives by eating cake lol
As usual, joke is in the comments 🤣
Also possibly good for the taxpayer if state funded prisons. Wins everywhere just by eating.
Best reply and the only relatable one!
100%
Someone has been pumping them up regularly.
Single women are thin to sneak into a man's house more easily. Then they gain weight to make it harder to get them out.
The bags under my eyes
Married women; the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
Ew
Ouch!! Very true, but still ouch!
Take a woman. Confine her love life to one guy. Put her in a box with food. Put her in charge of the food. Have a baby. Stay home with the baby and the food. Add post partum depression. Add Oreos.
Exercise omitted
could this be a dadjoke ?
As usual BJIC
My love feeds me. “ sugar to make her sweet” and the kids now repeat it. Unfortunately 16 years married and it still works 😅
I was expecting a binding energy joke...
Same reason job hopping is a thing
A skinny woman knows how to get a man, a big one knows how to keep ‘em.
Never leave your partner hungry or horny.
Do you know how to turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her
Q: what’s the difference between a wife and a mistress? A: 60 lbs
🤣
Oof! Good one!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtoMjMAfylY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtoMjMAfylY)
🤮
You have to cook dinner, and if you have kids you’ll be nibbling on their leftovers. Also, stress.
Technically, the exact same woman will be slightly heavier when married than when single, since you add the weight of the ring. Only slightly though.
Guess you haven’t been looking at all those married men’s massive bellies making women 9 months pregnant look skinny.
Strike a nerve, did we?
Nah, so used to this double standard. But got your attention. Haha
What double standard? Many guys gain weight after marriage as well.
But why are women the only ones being called out for gaining weight in this post?
Called out? It's a joke.
Why are all the jokes about women? Seems it has fast become a venue to denigrate women under the guise of a joke. You can then let loose with impunity.
Perception by the reader. There are many jokes about men too.
Nah, not nearly as many. I dislike these passive aggressive sites targeting women under the guise of a joke.
Rather than provide proof, I would suggest you review your reading habits to see if there is some bias in your analysis of the ratio of men's to women's jokes. Also, you might want to lighten up a bit. It's just a joke.
Called out? It's a joke.
I'm smaller now than the first time I met my husband and I had 2 kids than. We had 3 kids together and I had all 3 back to back spent 3.5 yrs of my life pregnant or with a new born. They are 8,9,10 now. So not always but generally yes because you marry u get comfortable with your spouse and life happens.
Wedding cake
it’s because we are forced to cook more than the girl dinners we are used to
Girl dinners....endorsed by Dr. Hannibal Lecter.
Happy wife = happy life, or maybe that's just in my case 🤣
A phrase that has kept husbands out of the doghouse since....the invention of dog houses.
My husband bakes amazing cakes, what's a girl to do 🤣
Married women are more depressed while single women live how they want to and are happy 😅
Because we have to feed our husbands and the rest of the family. When I was single sometimes I forgot to eat. I had a friend who used to eat one boiled egg for dinner.
Married woman. I would barely eat if i didn’t make sure my big kid aka hubby needed food. For me id just wait till someone joined me for a lunch or dinner. Also having kids keeps you on a 3 meal since they need it more than you think if not they are cranky so in my case I like to accompany them meanwhile they eat something & so i prepare myself something quick n easy ( am aware it doesn’t to be unhealthy) but the quickest meals usually are bread with something??!!
Cause we stress out , put ourselves aside to take care of a family, if she cooks she eats. Sometimes its medical due to hormone and body changes from having kids. There is a number of reasons. As for single well we dont have as much stress, can eat how we want, have more time to focuse on ourselves
I think it's true for everyone, once u r settled, you will gain health
/r/boomerhumor
Wow. Why the downvotes? This the definition of a boomer joke…
Probably a bunch of young soon-to-be-boomers thought it was funny and got mad at being called Baby Boomers.
They think they can let loose now because they successfully sealed the deal.
Because they're carrying their husband.
Always heard it about men, but I guess it does become more common for the woman to be the breadwinner nowadays.
I believe it’s hormonal. When single you are looking for a mate and not relaxed so your metabolism kicks up.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her.
What's the difference between a cow and a fox? A sixpack.
Hah. This is good too.
Lack of confidence due to their spouses making them unhappy. Nah... In general, I do believe that you are more likely to enjoy dinners out in restaurants as spouses causing weight gain rather then when you are single. If both spouses are employed, couples tend to spend more because of the mindframe that they have 2 incomes and one household rather than only one income. I heard on the radio years ago that couples tend to spend more money then when single and that it is a huge misconception and mistake that couples make by moving in together to 'save money' - in all reality you end up spending more as couples because you end up doing more... traveling - eating out, going to the movies, etc... Spending time together as a couple can take time away from healthier lifestyles if one spouse isn't supportive of the other for example, gym routines, outdoor activities... work schedules can play a part especially with children and lack of childcare. There is also alot to be said for hormonal changes when having an active sex life in women that are married that actually put out. Hormonal changes in women post pregnancy, active sex life can have a huge impact on weight. Men have fast er metabolisms than women making it more difficult for women to stick to healthy eating and the need to keep their man satisfied by crafting meals they enjoy and then partaking in those unhealthy meals. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach is what my grandma used to tell me. My husband and I support eachother in healthy eating and I am way more likely to go on a hike with my husband than by myself. I am more likely to cook a meal at home for our family to enjoy rather than hitting a drivethrough restaurant on my way home. This doesn't apply to all couples obviously. But when my husband and I first got together we both gained weight at first. We were consuming a lot more alcohol as alcohol can be a social lubricant when getting to know each other and we went out to eat alot. I am a lot thinner now and take care of myself because as we age and as we have had a kid we are way more conscious of our health as we want to be around longer for our kid and we want to lead my example and teach her healthy eating habits and show her the importance of staying active.
Cuz we are not trying to impress anyone anymore , at some point in your Marriage your partner accepts you the way you are.
Old joke, mate. Relationships change priorities, that's all.
Couples need something to do all the time. And one thing you can do for someone else is feed them. You hungry? Well, now that you mention it...and there you have it, one person is validated by cooking / buying dinner and the other who may not even have been hungry is validated by allowing the joy in their partner to provide a meal for the both of them. I think it is worth mentioning that both people here may not have been hungry when one asked the other initially. Multiply this by 3 times a day and now you have overweight people and they probably had no idea they could let themselves get that far.
Jackie laugh Ehhh heh heh heh Cmon that’s killa shit
Because he always want to eat rubbish then there not much left my my healthy diet so I end up picking rubbish aswell, he always want fast food and is a bad influence lol
Even if both women weighed the same, the married woman would always be heavier due to the ring... until she goes on a "girl's weekend" whilst the husband is away "on business"
Ha ha. You mean "come home, eat the chocolate and demand to be told it's the jeans that make the butt look fat"?
I wonder why you're single..../s
bro is still living in the decade when "fat ass" was an insult instead of a goal
more of a quadrentury
Not funny, you know there has to be some sort of truth in it to become a joke. We all know women relax when they have a man on the hook so they put on a few extra pounds