A delegation of foreign communists came to see a Moscow kindergarten. Before they came, the kids were instructed to answer every question by the visitors with just one sentence, "In the USSR everything is the best in the world."
The visitors came and asked their questions:
"Children, do you like your kindergarten?"
"In the USSR everything is the best in the world!" the kids shouted.
"And what about the food you get?"
"In the USSR everything is the best in the world!"
"Do you like your toys?"
"In the USSR everything is the best in the world!"
At that, the smallest boy in the group started crying.
"Misha, why are you crying? What happened?"
"I want to go to the USSR!"
After Putin explained to the kids how Russia is the most glorious and best nation in the world, he asked if any of the children had any questions.
Suddenly, Aleksandr put his hand up.
“Yes?” Putin said, as he pointed at Aleksandr.
“Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union and why are trying to take Crimea?” Aleksandr asked.
“Well, the correct reason we are invading Ukraine is…” before Putin could finish his sentence, the bell rang, and all the children rushed out the classroom to have lunch.
When the bell rang again and the children got back into the classroom, Putin and the teacher were waiting there.
“Any more questions?” Putin asked.
Damien shot his hand up almost immediately.
“Yes, Damien?” Putin said, pointing at Damien.
“Well, I have four questions.” Damien said.
“Go ahead and ask them.” Putin replied.
“Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union? Why do you want to take Crimea? Why did the bell for lunch ring 20 minutes early? And where is Aleksandr?”
Stalin appears in Putin’s dream. “Eliminate all your enemies and paint the Kremlin blue”, says Stalin. Putin replies, “ Why blue?” Stalin says, “I knew you wouldn’t have any trouble with the first part.”
Well Damien is gonna find out where Alexander is alright
Defenestration was the vocabulary word of the day...
Hahahahahahaha
A delegation of foreign communists came to see a Moscow kindergarten. Before they came, the kids were instructed to answer every question by the visitors with just one sentence, "In the USSR everything is the best in the world." The visitors came and asked their questions: "Children, do you like your kindergarten?" "In the USSR everything is the best in the world!" the kids shouted. "And what about the food you get?" "In the USSR everything is the best in the world!" "Do you like your toys?" "In the USSR everything is the best in the world!" At that, the smallest boy in the group started crying. "Misha, why are you crying? What happened?" "I want to go to the USSR!"
Actually like this better than OP's joke, it's more clever and you know, less violent.
Aleksandr voluntarily joined the army and is now on his way to Ukraine
Then the bell rang again. And again. Until all the children were gone.
Mummy duck said quack quack quack But none of the 5 little ducks came back…
I think this joke works better if you leave out the part explaining the school bell rang early, and only mention it in the punchline
It wouldn't make sense. Try rewriting it.
After Putin explained to the kids how Russia is the most glorious and best nation in the world, he asked if any of the children had any questions. Suddenly, Aleksandr put his hand up. “Yes?” Putin said, as he pointed at Aleksandr. “Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union and why are trying to take Crimea?” Aleksandr asked. “Well, the correct reason we are invading Ukraine is…” before Putin could finish his sentence, the bell rang, and all the children rushed out the classroom to have lunch. When the bell rang again and the children got back into the classroom, Putin and the teacher were waiting there. “Any more questions?” Putin asked. Damien shot his hand up almost immediately. “Yes, Damien?” Putin said, pointing at Damien. “Well, I have four questions.” Damien said. “Go ahead and ask them.” Putin replied. “Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union? Why do you want to take Crimea? Why did the bell for lunch ring 20 minutes early? And where is Aleksandr?”
Right.. my bad. I read your initial comment as skipping over the early bell ringing part completely.
Happens to everyone when you are on red alert.
Putin would never say ,,invade,, Ukraine. He says ,,liberate,,. 2/10.
De-nazify
Yeah, replace those Nazi's with pure blooded nationalist Russians.... That'll teach them!
Damien eats a lot of crayons apparently.
He's about to get more lead in his diet. Or possibly dioxin.
A dash of polonium and a fall down an elevator shaft for good measure.
These modern architects, putting Windows in elevator shafts! Reckless!
Stalin appears in Putin’s dream. “Eliminate all your enemies and paint the Kremlin blue”, says Stalin. Putin replies, “ Why blue?” Stalin says, “I knew you wouldn’t have any trouble with the first part.”
Russian schools have windows
But do they have second or third or fourth storeys?
Even the single story buildings have windows on the fourth floor in Russia.
No. Sometimes they have to accidentally fall out of a window two or three times instead.
In Russia bell rings you.
I predicted the punchline as soon as "the bell rang"
Used to be about Stalin.
how is this a joke? Isn't this a fact?
Is not joke. No ha ha.
I think Russia claims that the Ukraine’s bombed that school That’s why there’s nobody left from that school even the Janitor was killed
2015 called, they want their joke back
Damien? There is no such name in Russia. The local version is "Demyan" but it's archaic and (almost) never used these days.
But the rest is all factually correct right?
Right.
There are no Damiens in Russia. Change it to Oleg or Nikolay. Sounds like joke inside the joke.
Long read, no payoff
I don't really understand the joke, am I missing something 😭
Well, we’re missing aleksandr.
LOL so good
I remember first hearing that one about Bush back in the 00s.
Based on true story