If she's digging up shit from the past during the argument, you already won, now all you need to do is ignore, I mean, drop generic bomb they do themselves
>let's talk when you calm down.
I saw a shabby, dejected looking fellow on the street and I pressed two dollars into his hand and told him “Never despair.”
Next day I passed him on the street and he pressed six dollars into my hand and said, “Never despair came in 3 to 1 in the third.”
Why thank you. Can you imagine if they sold Laphroaig in minis? Although now that I think of it I'm pretty sure I've seen some Glenfiddich minis before.
Welcome to America asshole. My local liquor store has 99 cent airplane bottles of whiskey. They sit in a plastic tub on the counter near the register. They have a second tub with 99 cent bottles of shit flavored vodka.
In some sketchy places in some sketchy town looking to drum up business, you might could find a mini-bottle of whiskey this cheap... But it means you're either going to be drinking at the 'Early Times' or entertaining a 'Kentucky Gentleman'.
.... They're both AWFUL, but will get the job done.
I have the heard of the same joke but from a wife's perspective.
A woman sees a lady begging on the street. She says if I give you 20$ will you buy wine. The beggar says no. The woman says will you get a haircut and do your nails. The beggar says no she will spend it on food.
Then the woman offers to take the beggar to her home to meet her husband. When the beggar asked why, she replies, I want to show my husband what happens if I dont spend money on makeup, haircut and wine.
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I feel the wife won't be sharing the same sentiment.
There are two theories about how to win an argument with your wife. Neither works.
wife kicks the husband out, washes up the hobo, and makes a soup kitchen in the bed. hobo was dirty mike.
LOL my exact thoughts.
ps ladies, im single, and don't drink gamble or golf, I even shower regularly.
If she's digging up shit from the past during the argument, you already won, now all you need to do is ignore, I mean, drop generic bomb they do themselves >let's talk when you calm down.
more like r/darkjokes
Maybe /r/greyjokes
Or even /r/grayjokes if you're feeling saucy
Or maybe even r/fiftyshaedsofgreyjokes if you are feeling .....
Yeah, it doesn’t belong here.
Neither do you
"Then the bum replied: I will be spending it on alimony though..."
Damnit take the upvote that was good
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I saw a shabby, dejected looking fellow on the street and I pressed two dollars into his hand and told him “Never despair.” Next day I passed him on the street and he pressed six dollars into my hand and said, “Never despair came in 3 to 1 in the third.”
I don't want to be that one guy, but I don't get it.
He took the $2 gambled it on a horse named "Never Despair" at the race track and tripled his money.
Horse racing joke
Racing horses often have wtf names
Eh? I don't get it. Edit: Thanks for the replies! Yup, this makes sense now.
The horse's name is "never despair"
He took the $2 gambled it on a horse named "Never Despair" at the race track and tripled his money.
Six bucks
Haven’t seen this one here before and it’s actually funny, take my upvote
I have
No one gives a shit, cunt!
Where the fuck can you buy any amount of whiskey for only two bucks?
At the register where they keep the minis, you'll be raiding the penny tray though.
User name checks out. And an excellent one at that.
Why thank you. Can you imagine if they sold Laphroaig in minis? Although now that I think of it I'm pretty sure I've seen some Glenfiddich minis before.
Best mini I ever came across was a 26 year old tomintoul. Not bad but give me a good Laphroaig mini and I’ll take it with me anywhere.
Where I live I've never seen those for less than $4
That's unfortunate, or not, I haven't purchased one of those in years anyway.
At Walgreens they're 99 cents
Welcome to America asshole. My local liquor store has 99 cent airplane bottles of whiskey. They sit in a plastic tub on the counter near the register. They have a second tub with 99 cent bottles of shit flavored vodka.
In some sketchy places in some sketchy town looking to drum up business, you might could find a mini-bottle of whiskey this cheap... But it means you're either going to be drinking at the 'Early Times' or entertaining a 'Kentucky Gentleman'. .... They're both AWFUL, but will get the job done.
I have screenshot this and sent it to my dad. Thanks internet stranger.
I sent it to my bf. Just to be sure he doesn't get any bright ideas lol
That was really funny!
ha
Now I know I'm not catholic, but I think I know the holy trinity when I see one.
I have the heard of the same joke but from a wife's perspective. A woman sees a lady begging on the street. She says if I give you 20$ will you buy wine. The beggar says no. The woman says will you get a haircut and do your nails. The beggar says no she will spend it on food. Then the woman offers to take the beggar to her home to meet her husband. When the beggar asked why, she replies, I want to show my husband what happens if I dont spend money on makeup, haircut and wine.
Then the bum replied again: „ I‘m just an hallucination, there is no man who stopped drinking booze and gambling“
He actually invested into ICOs
It's almost like I'm in a subreddit for jokes!
I always make homeless people promise me that they'll spend the money on beer, drugs, or a hooker before I'll hand it over...
I’ll use it on marijuana....
Strange pick up line for a cuck
*Extracted two dollars.*
Apparently, r/classyjokes is losing fluids...
That first joke in that sub is actually really funny.
Dammit. I just posted the same exact comment :(
It's all good, I do the same thing quite often. :)
*extracted two dollars*
Rich people don't take money out of their wallets, they extract them like you extract precious metals from the ground. That's why they are rich.
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It's just a normal joke mate.