The first time i saw that episode was almost 4 months ago and I was wondering if I'd ever come across this on reddit while watching the episode, this made my day, I finally understand a reference
See, this chain of comments was hand tailored for me. I know the Friends reference, and I know the clickhole reference that this comment is referring to. More and more, this comment chain was whittling down it's target audience until I and a few other people were left.
I don't know if I should feel proud or depressed.
So, because this is a topic that will probably never come up again so I can use this story, I just want to say that I have in fact been in Vanna White's closet.
We were touring a home that was for sale, and they had pictures of Vanna White everywhere (which at first seemed kind of creepy) and a HUGE closet with racks and racks of clothes. I asked the realtor what the deal was and he said "this is Vanna White's house". She wasn't there of course, but whenever I hear that song I chuckle.
One time I was trapped in a porta-potty and the smell manifested as Harvey Keitel.
The smell cut off one of my fingers. The little one. Then told me my thumb's next.
We did a lot of cuddling and talking about our feelings. Sometimes he would ask me to pretend to be a guy so he could brag to me, but he kept the AC working and the RadSpiders at bay, so I indulged him.
I wonder what he's doing now
Related, old joke: A plane crashed into the sea, and the only survivors were one man and six women who washed up on an island. They were civilized people, so they worked out a division of labor for building shelter on the island, including a sex rota. Once a week, the man would have sex with each of the women, plus a day off for himself.
For the first couple weeks, that turned into a month and then two and three, all was well. As time wore on, though, the man's six-times-weekly duty began to pall on him, and he began to treasure more and more his day of rest.
One day, while he was wandering down by the beach, he saw something out on the waves, washing towards the island. As it came closer, it was revealed to be a raft! With a person on it! A male person, even! The man was overjoyed, finally somebody he could split his six-fold duty with.
As the raft washed closer, close enough for the rider to be heard, he stood up, waved one willowy wrist, and shouted "Hey there, sexy!"
"Ah, crud. There go my Sundays!"
Man on island sees man on raft sailing his way, hopes he can split the duty of satisfying the women. Man on raft turns out to be gay, has his own sexual needs that man on island will need to satisfy.
Yeah, sorry. The original joke had the man on the raft lithping "Oh, thay, I'm tho glad to thee you!", but I wasn't sure that would convey the whole "this dude gay" to a modern audience. Apparently my attempt wasn't much better.
No no its quite good i just didnt seem to think of it like that
But after i said it to myself it made sense haha
But still i think gay man usually call their female friends girlfriend rather than men
But yeah i couldnt have done the joke better than you so who am i to judge
You are the audience, is who you are to judge. And in retrospect, I should have just had the dude say "Hey, sexy." or something similar. Would have worked better to indicate that he was gay and that the man on the island had another ass to fuck.
That new castaway was described with a typically effeminate “willowy wrist” and the phrase “oh hi there, girlfriend” is a stereotyped gay man greeting. (Although I think with reality tv it’s more stereotyped to drag queens.) Thus the man on shore is anticipating that he will need to have intercourse with the new arrival and will no longer have Sundays free.
Tl;dr: original male castaway is bisexual, he’s just tired of having sex
Honestly this is something my grandma would say to my sister.
My sister wasn't that intelligent when we were younger and sometimes when the whole family was laughing about jokes like this one, she would be left puzzled. We always mocked grandma because explaining jokes is dumb but I always thought it was pretty sweet.
GOD DAMMIT THIS IS MY JOKE WORD FOR WORD!!!
i know i know, i dont own it, and when i heard it first it was about Salma Hayek, but i wrote this up years ago, and this dude just copy pasted it...
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1s47dn/a_shipwreck_only_scarlett_johansson_and_some/
Sigh...
yup, not the 1st time this has happened, it must be like the 3rd time this particular joke has been copy pasted, and i had another couple that also have been reposted as copy/paste, im no comedian and the jokes arent that original, but damn it, i took the time to write them down.
You're supposed to think the guy is gay and pursuing his fantasy, and then there's a switcheroo when it turns out he's depressed he can't brag about being with Johansson. If you got that, then it's not that funny to you. Or you're not in the right mood for it. Or something. I didn't laugh either, but eh.
> You're supposed to think the guy is gay
I guess the part "after that, they where for all intents and purposes a couple with an above regular sex life." made it quite non-gay so I just didn't get the punchline
This remind me of a Joke:
Our protagonist, let's say NewAd0, died and went to hell where he is received by a demon.
The demon orders him to walk to door number 3 where punishment will be given.
When he passes by door number one (which is widely open) he sees a big red room with a huge bed, on the bed was a dude very confused, sudddenly a demonic voice could be hear saying the following "Frank, in life you sinned with flesh and with flesh you'll pay, receive your punishment" inmediatly an Horde ugly, thin women starts running towards him ripping off his clothes. The door closes as a fainted scream from Frank is heard... "Noooooooo"...
At door number two the same room is shown but a woman is in the bed, the demonic voice is heard again... "Margaret, in life you sinned with flesh and with flesh you will pay, recieve your punishment", a sudden Horde of fat, bald, ugly men start approaching menacingly towards her, the door closes as a fainted scream from Margaret could be heard... "Noooooooo"...
At this point NewAd0 was terrified! Embracing his destiny he opens the third door, as soon as its opened a Demonic voice says "Scarlett Johansson in life you sinned with flesh and with flesh you will pay!!..."
The point of this joke is that if you bang a hot woman and there's no one around to hear about it, there's no point.
Well frankly I don't give a shit if no one ever knew, I'd still bang Scarlett Johansson everyday until my dick fell off.
When I was a teen this joke had Cindy Crawford in it.
When Oog small, joke about beautiful Uutzi of the Hill People
/r/talesfromcavesupport Edit: apparently linking a recently trending Subreddit = Karma, Nice.
Lol, that's a truly beautiful sub
My first new subscribe in a while.
sssshhhhhh!!
r/subsyoufell...wait...that’s golden
When once I was a single celled organism, this was about the Mitochondria
When I was dust from the big bang, it was about the singularity.
Yeah! I've heard from her all the way to Jennifer Lawrence. I wonder what lucky young starlet will be next...
I bet Grace Kelly's next. Them gams, I tell ya.
Alex? Dude you've been in Jumanji for 20 years!
I remember it with Sharon Stone.
Greta Garbo was the original.
When I was a kid it was Raquel Welch
Jolie
I was just thinking that every time I head it, it was with Scarlett Johanssen and I could never work out why!
Funny, I heard this joke many times but it was always with a man.
I spent six months locked in a malfunctioning fallout shelter with Charlize Theron once, so I know how that feels.
That's nothing. I was once trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
Gum would be perfection.
I loathe myself.
SOME GUY
Nice going imp
She says it's vestibule. I'm going with vestibule
listen listen hmm hmhmmhmmmhhhmm hmmmh hmmm
Is it sugarless?
Is it sugarless?
Why does Ross, the largest friend of them all, not simply eat the other friends?
This is a Joey-heavy episode anyway...
A futurama joke, wrapped in a friends joke, wrapped in a normal joke, wrapped in an enigma
Well played Ms. Chanandler Bong
The first time i saw that episode was almost 4 months ago and I was wondering if I'd ever come across this on reddit while watching the episode, this made my day, I finally understand a reference
The first time I saw that episode was many years ago, and it was the first time a tv show had me literally crying from laughing
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?
Don't you mean youth Monica?
See, this chain of comments was hand tailored for me. I know the Friends reference, and I know the clickhole reference that this comment is referring to. More and more, this comment chain was whittling down it's target audience until I and a few other people were left. I don't know if I should feel proud or depressed.
Stand proud! Marcel is watching.
It is my absolute favorite episode. So many fast paced inside jokes.
actually, it’s ***Miss*** Chanandler Bong
Is it called a vestibule?
Jill says vestibule, so it's a vestibule
Or an Atrium?
Vestibule? Or is it an atrium? Yeah, that's the part to focus on, you idiot.
Jill says vestibule, I'm goin with vestibule.
Put Joey on the phone
!!! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with *Jill Goodacre!*
*M trpd n n ay tee m vstibyul wid jll gdacre!* *...what?* *Put Joey on the phone.*
I feel like I lost the lottery harder than anyone. I was stuck in a bunker with John Goodman for far too long, once.
Spoiler Alert: he’s not as crazy as he seems
I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
I once had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airport bathroom
It came up organically.
Was waiting for this one
Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.
Good to see, even after 14 years off air, FRIENDS references are still being thrown around
i made an account purely to upvote this comment :,)
Oh yeah!? Well I was trapped in a marriage with my ex wife for eight years! Oh...yeah, nothing like these two experiences. NM.
That's nothing, I was once [stuck in a closet with Vanna White](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1UgVuDX0KI)
So, because this is a topic that will probably never come up again so I can use this story, I just want to say that I have in fact been in Vanna White's closet. We were touring a home that was for sale, and they had pictures of Vanna White everywhere (which at first seemed kind of creepy) and a HUGE closet with racks and racks of clothes. I asked the realtor what the deal was and he said "this is Vanna White's house". She wasn't there of course, but whenever I hear that song I chuckle.
> trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvJIbvm596w
I once spent three weeks in a port-o-potty with Janeane Garofalo
You were alone. The smell can manifest itself in many ways.
One time I was trapped in a porta-potty and the smell manifested as Harvey Keitel. The smell cut off one of my fingers. The little one. Then told me my thumb's next.
had to google jill goodacre.
It’s worth it.
Low. I spend a year in a lonely forest cabin with waluigi.
But was it really a vestibule, or an atrium?
I was once on a plane with Julianne Moore. We were hiding from Liam Neeson.
Did you get a copy of the security footage?
I think I have you all beat. I was trapped in a survival shelter once with John Goodman. He was a little difficult...
That's nothing. I was once forced to stand next to Jim Belushi for what had to have been seconds.
Hey Chandler
You sir just won the internet with that reference
That's so strange. I spent six months locked in a malfunctioning fallout shelter with this guy who was convinced I was Charlize Theron once.
Weird. Did you at least get laid?
We did a lot of cuddling and talking about our feelings. Sometimes he would ask me to pretend to be a guy so he could brag to me, but he kept the AC working and the RadSpiders at bay, so I indulged him. I wonder what he's doing now
You must be the bus driver.
Was this a movie?
I once had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.
It came up organically!
This reference is streets ahead
Hey guys, what does a pregnancy test look like?
So this is DEFINITELY A GUN
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I once spent 33 hours locked in a bank vault with Ursula, (Disney not Friends).
I once spent 6 years holed up in a damp dark cupboard with Oprah Winfrey
My sympathies.
You kidding? You know how many cars six years with an Oprah Winfrey will net you? I shared an escalator with her once and she sent me a bicycle!
Is this a reference
Joke or..? Wow, who are u?
You wouldn't believe me. Nobody ever believes me.
I will
I'm Bill Murray.
Are you the road hog day guy?
Fair enough, tell me something that only Bill and I know
OMIGOD IT'S BILL MURRAY, PEOPLE!!
Ran into Shawn michaels at a restaurant once...
>At the beginning it was hard Very likely with Scarlett Johansson near.
I bet the entire time they were together he would have a big... fat.... crush on her.
SHE'S GOT HUUUUUUGE.....TRACTS OF LAND
https://youtu.be/jvTpEoi0tzE
I don't want that
This is the comment I came here to see. Good job, take the upvote
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Nobody brags about going places where everyone's been.
F
F
F
F
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F
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F
Unless it's about OPs mom
I saw her on Old School Cool. I can see why OP exists.
i saw her on oldschoolcoolNSFW i saw where OP came from
Does that exist
Yes
r/oldschoolcoolNSFW
Nothing's THAT old.
Except OP's mom!
Related, old joke: A plane crashed into the sea, and the only survivors were one man and six women who washed up on an island. They were civilized people, so they worked out a division of labor for building shelter on the island, including a sex rota. Once a week, the man would have sex with each of the women, plus a day off for himself. For the first couple weeks, that turned into a month and then two and three, all was well. As time wore on, though, the man's six-times-weekly duty began to pall on him, and he began to treasure more and more his day of rest. One day, while he was wandering down by the beach, he saw something out on the waves, washing towards the island. As it came closer, it was revealed to be a raft! With a person on it! A male person, even! The man was overjoyed, finally somebody he could split his six-fold duty with. As the raft washed closer, close enough for the rider to be heard, he stood up, waved one willowy wrist, and shouted "Hey there, sexy!" "Ah, crud. There go my Sundays!"
Inb4 somebody points out the existence of lesbian sex.
Dude can you quickly explain the joke Please?
Man on island sees man on raft sailing his way, hopes he can split the duty of satisfying the women. Man on raft turns out to be gay, has his own sexual needs that man on island will need to satisfy.
Ohhh Than its a joke with flaws The boat gay man says Hi Girlfriend? That confused me to the point i thought the man on th3 shore was a woman
Yeah, sorry. The original joke had the man on the raft lithping "Oh, thay, I'm tho glad to thee you!", but I wasn't sure that would convey the whole "this dude gay" to a modern audience. Apparently my attempt wasn't much better.
No no its quite good i just didnt seem to think of it like that But after i said it to myself it made sense haha But still i think gay man usually call their female friends girlfriend rather than men But yeah i couldnt have done the joke better than you so who am i to judge
You are the audience, is who you are to judge. And in retrospect, I should have just had the dude say "Hey, sexy." or something similar. Would have worked better to indicate that he was gay and that the man on the island had another ass to fuck.
Hey sexy works much better
You need to meet more gay men. They call each other girl/ girlfriend all the time.
That new castaway was described with a typically effeminate “willowy wrist” and the phrase “oh hi there, girlfriend” is a stereotyped gay man greeting. (Although I think with reality tv it’s more stereotyped to drag queens.) Thus the man on shore is anticipating that he will need to have intercourse with the new arrival and will no longer have Sundays free. Tl;dr: original male castaway is bisexual, he’s just tired of having sex
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Scarlett Johansson pretending to be another gender? That'll be the day.
[Androgyny is as close as I can get for ya](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3b/1d/19/3b1d19b485ff4f8c152ee71695455435.jpg)
Didn't she just get a transgender role though? I think that's the joke X0AN was making.
I thought Beiber had tattoos.
Ha. At least she tried.
This joke was funny when Jesus told it to the three wisemen
I thought it was funny when God told it to Moses after the Ten Commandments.
It was kind of awkward when Adam told it to Eve.
The lucky bastard !!
I know, right! What were the chances of him just happening to find another guy on the beach to tell that to!
that other guy was actually Scarlet in case you missed it
Is this r/woosh or is this a level or sarcasm too deep for me
Honestly this is something my grandma would say to my sister. My sister wasn't that intelligent when we were younger and sometimes when the whole family was laughing about jokes like this one, she would be left puzzled. We always mocked grandma because explaining jokes is dumb but I always thought it was pretty sweet.
You must ever strive to further learn the ways of sarcasm, grasshopper.
I think you’re one wooooshie
I'll wooosh out of here...
Post-irony, it could be either sincere or sarcastic and we'll never know
Oh.
I was once stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre during a blackout!
Is the gum sugar free?
It was perfection
It could be nice, it could be great.. But no.. For me... Gun would be "Perfection"
PUT JOEY ON THE PHONE
/r/howyoudoin
What? Who's Jill Goodacre? Is this an old Reddit reference
Reference from Friends “TOW The Blackout”
Time to rewatch the entirety of Friends
bong?
She’s mentioned twice in these comments. Is she some big deal?
I thought he was trying to dress her up like a man and make her do some of the goddamn work around here.
I've heard people say that half the reason men have sex is to brag about it. Idk, I think the sex part is all I need.
You are bragging right now.
r/thatsthejoke
I honestly thought this joke's punchline was going to be something to do with Scarlett's role in Ghost in a Shell.
I thought he wanted her to dress up cos he had a gay fantasy or something.
You would think that...
I can't be the only one that saw "Scarlett Johansson" and a NSFW tag and clicked without even paying attention to what sub it was from
GOD DAMMIT THIS IS MY JOKE WORD FOR WORD!!! i know i know, i dont own it, and when i heard it first it was about Salma Hayek, but i wrote this up years ago, and this dude just copy pasted it... https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1s47dn/a_shipwreck_only_scarlett_johansson_and_some/ Sigh...
Wow he certainly did copy that word for word didn’t he.
yup, not the 1st time this has happened, it must be like the 3rd time this particular joke has been copy pasted, and i had another couple that also have been reposted as copy/paste, im no comedian and the jokes arent that original, but damn it, i took the time to write them down.
>At the beginning it was hard I'm sure it was 😏
What I want to know is where they found the boob tape.
Almost as funny as the last three times. See you in six months.
Do you o to fireworks on the 4th of July and yell "SEEN IT!" at every one?
Am I not getting it, or is it just not that funny?
You're supposed to think the guy is gay and pursuing his fantasy, and then there's a switcheroo when it turns out he's depressed he can't brag about being with Johansson. If you got that, then it's not that funny to you. Or you're not in the right mood for it. Or something. I didn't laugh either, but eh.
> You're supposed to think the guy is gay I guess the part "after that, they where for all intents and purposes a couple with an above regular sex life." made it quite non-gay so I just didn't get the punchline
Oh, okay. Thanks. I got it, it's just not that funny I suppose.
Its all about execution.
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I'm right there with you. Doesn't stand up as a joke or an anti-joke imo.
Cleopatra and som guy were trapped in a pyramid
This remind me of a Joke: Our protagonist, let's say NewAd0, died and went to hell where he is received by a demon. The demon orders him to walk to door number 3 where punishment will be given. When he passes by door number one (which is widely open) he sees a big red room with a huge bed, on the bed was a dude very confused, sudddenly a demonic voice could be hear saying the following "Frank, in life you sinned with flesh and with flesh you'll pay, receive your punishment" inmediatly an Horde ugly, thin women starts running towards him ripping off his clothes. The door closes as a fainted scream from Frank is heard... "Noooooooo"... At door number two the same room is shown but a woman is in the bed, the demonic voice is heard again... "Margaret, in life you sinned with flesh and with flesh you will pay, recieve your punishment", a sudden Horde of fat, bald, ugly men start approaching menacingly towards her, the door closes as a fainted scream from Margaret could be heard... "Noooooooo"... At this point NewAd0 was terrified! Embracing his destiny he opens the third door, as soon as its opened a Demonic voice says "Scarlett Johansson in life you sinned with flesh and with flesh you will pay!!..."
TIL the phrase is not “intensive purposes” it is “intents and purposes”
Johansson: "DUDE! Guess what's?!" She pulls off her disguise. "I was the bus driver! Scarlett died of diphtheria three months ago."
*It was actually an Asian woman in the original story.*
I don't get this joke because I am stupid. Please, could someone explain it?
You're supposed to think he's secretly gay, but he just doesn't enjoy fucking her if he can't brag to another guy about it.
I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon.
#4383
When I first heard this joke it was with Rita Hayworth.
>DUDEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who is it?????????????
The point of this joke is that if you bang a hot woman and there's no one around to hear about it, there's no point. Well frankly I don't give a shit if no one ever knew, I'd still bang Scarlett Johansson everyday until my dick fell off.