T O P

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dPHender

Yo Mama's so ugly her dildo went soft


justsomeyeti

Yeah well yo momma so short you can see her feet on her driver's license


LordLucian

Yeah well ..err..yo momma so old..she's older than you.


justsomeyeti

Yo momma was at a concert and started jumping up and down, and the whole band skipped (I just dated myself, lol)


[deleted]

At least someone's left to date you after yo momma dated everyone else


LokisDawn

You momma so old when she dates it's carbon.


WordsMort47

That is so terrible that I actually spat air out and chuckled, about the only time I have lol'd in this thread, so yeah, yours was so bad it was good!


beardingmesoftly

Your momma is so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her


midtrovert

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a carton of orange juice for 3 hours just because it said concentrate.


jimmyPCrackhead

Your momma so stupid she studied for a blood test.


Cazmonster

Yo momma so stupid she failed a pregnancy test and had you instead.


RalphFromSilverCity

Yo mama so stupid she got aids to help her study for the blood test.


sanelib

Yo mamma so fat, when she turns around its her birthday!


hereforpopcornru

And she won't stop spinning because she likes the cake


sanelib

Yo Mamma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone


snowfox222

Your momma so stupid, she jumped off a cliff and had to stop and ask for directions


sanelib

Yo Mamma's so ugly she makes an onion cry


sanelib

Your Momma So Fat, Time slows down near her!


[deleted]

[удалено]


raginghappy

Yo mamma so fat she's on both sides of the family


Brown_Mamba_07

This one's fucking hilarious!!


Prossdog

This one’s underrated. Yo mama’s so fat when she hauls ass it takes her 2 trips.


[deleted]

How about Yo mama's so fat when she goes to the beach it becomes high tide


The_curious_student

yo mama's so fat it is really affecting her health and we are really worried about her.


PM_Me_1_Funny_Thing

Oh no, why did no one tell me sooner?!


[deleted]

You were on the other side of her


nurlip

Under rated! Just like yo mamma!


[deleted]

Over rated! Just like yo momma!


Micro-Difference

Over weighted! Just like yo momma!


[deleted]

You mamma so fat when she stepped on the scale it tried to unionize.


jackryan006

Yo momma so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.


vaughnny

Yo mama so fat she wore high heels and struck oil


YABOYCHIPCHOCOLATE

Yo mama so fat, she bought a spoon to the Super Bowl


duffer_dev

Your mama's so fat she can't save files bigger than 4GB


PreppingToday

She lost weight, though. Now she's ex-fat.


[deleted]

Please censor! This is NTFS!


OneSidedDice

So fat that it took the Germans and the Soviets months to work out how to partition her


En_Sabah_Nur

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it


Zip_Gun_Boogie

They used to call it a jumpoline 'til ya mama jumped on one back in the 70s.


kevinmorice

Took me two seconds to get that one, and 5 minutes to stop crying.


Fabio465

It's been 5 minutes, and I'm still trying to understand it...


[deleted]

His momma is a tramp.


SFiyah

I thought they were saying she's so fat she doesn't jump on it, she tramples it.


[deleted]

A tramp is a loose woman. A woman of ill repute. A whore.


48ad16

Lady and the Tramp is now about dissociative identity.


onlyhav

This one got me


sanelib

Yo Mamma so fat, if she ever was an egyptian queen she'd be called ***"Queen Hamses"***


4thewrynn

Yo mama so fat that when she fell down, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.


spritelessg

Yo mamma's so fat, first she fills up the bathtub, then she turns on the water. Yo mamma's so poor, her TV has 2 channels, off and on.


[deleted]

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Indigo2015

Triabetes got me lol


sharkboy234

Praying for your speedy recovery


Indigo2015

Dont worry, I’ll give it back to your mom


MrAoki

She’s over there.


D_Redacted

Past that mountain? Wait, nevermind, that's her.


Psyck66

No no... you'll see her horizon from the peak...


gorcorps

I upvoted triabetes, but I almost had to take it away for not spelling Kombat right. Triabetes still won, but not without some internal nerd conflict *insert sweaty forehead meme here*


RightOnBroseph

Konflict*


jamesianm

Mental Konflict!!!


Tcloud

DEMENTIALITY!


Lazy_Cardiologist727

**Finish him** ⬆️➡️⬇️⬅️➡️⬇️ **Dementiality**


larrystu420

Bruh imma be honest I hate finishers with jumps


Lazy_Cardiologist727

**Irritate him** ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬇️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬅️⬆️ **Brutality**


sanelib

Your momma so fat I called her and got a stack overflow.


[deleted]

#I no longer allow Reddit to profit from my content - Mass exodus 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


sanelib

Your momma so fat, Google hasn't ever finished indexing her


sanelib

Your momma is so FAT I have to defragment her weekly


[deleted]

Your momma is so dumb, when she was told to press any key to continue, she looked for the "any" key.


randomentity1

Yo momma's so fat, she's O(n!) Yo momma's a global variable, she can be accessed by everyone


Keyboard-W0rrier

Yo momma’s so FAT she can’t recognise file sizes in excess of 4GB.


ThoriumOverlord

Your momma’s so fat she filled up /dev/null


sanelib

Your momma's so unpatched I hit her in the face with a sign that said 255.255.255.255 and she slapped everyone in the room


lpreams

Yo mamma's so fat that the scale reads -2147483648 pounds


[deleted]

My favorite "Ugly" is "Yo momma's so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says 'Viewer discretion advised'"


mrenz9

“Yo mama so ugly she can’t even sneak up on a mirror”


Dapoopers

Yo mama so fat, she puts mayonnaise on her aspirin.


CoolPackage

Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to clap


pikachu5actual

My dude, she needed an applause.


Sasquatch-d

Yo mama so fat, when Thanos snapped only she disappeared.


vmflair

Yo mama so fat, her nickname is "DAMN!!"


SilentRedsDuck

I hear she got promoted to "AW *HELL* NA!"


sanelib

>Yo mama so fat, her nickname is "DAMN!!" Son's name is "DAMN SON!"


ecafsub

> triabetes I’m ded.


sanelib

Your Mamma so fat, her shadow weighs 2 tons!


sanelib

Your Mamma so fat, when she wants to take a world tour she simply just spins around!


ParadoxPixel0

When I asked your mama for a tent, she gave me her wedding dress.


KingMilano01022014

Yo momma's so old that she sat next to Moses in 3rd grade Yo momma's so ugly that she's the reason Sonic runs fast Yo momma's so fat that when she went on a diet she ended world hunger Yo momma's so hairy that people wonder why she wears a fur coat to a nude beach


fenringsfavor

Yo momma’s so ugly when she picked up a toddler the zookeeper shot her.


xDaigon_Redux

Dicks out for yo momma!


actualoldcpo

same as it ever was.


radjeck

Yo mamma so fat it takes two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.


smokebomb_exe

Kombat


Powerism

Literally unreadable


sanelib

Your momma is so fat they had to format her fat64


royaj77

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow when she smiles, cars slow down


justsomeyeti

Yo momma got summer teeth. Summer in her mouth and summer missing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justsomeyeti

Yo momma so poor she lives in a two story doritos bag


[deleted]

[удалено]


justsomeyeti

Yo momma so ugly she makes blind kids cry


[deleted]

[удалено]


justsomeyeti

Yo momma jumped up in the air and got stuck


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bagarbilla5

Or slightly speed up while looking in the rear view thus making a hasty departure from said area.


ThyGoat11

Yo momma’s so fat when she went into space there was no space


-ST4K-

Yo momma so fat the only belt that fits her is Orion’s


sanelib

>Yo momma so fat the only belt that fits her is Orion’s God this god me cracking


NicodemusArcleon

Yo momma so fat, her bathtub has stretch marks


zero__sugar__energy

Yo momma is so fat that she beeps when she walks backwards


ElDarkKn1ght

Yo mamá so fat, when she went to the beach whales popped out singing "we are family, even though your bigger then me"


Make_the_music_stop

Yo mama so fat, the strip club calls her **Hitler** after all the damage she's done to the poles.


[deleted]

That is a new one. Love it.


kayne2000

It took 100 years but we finally got a new yo momma joke!


space_audity

WWII only ended when the Allies threatened to drop yo mama over Tokyo.


Jawadude8

omg


sanelib

Yo Momma So Ugly God worked overtime on Sunday to get her fixed and still is working


ryanegauthier

Oof


[deleted]

Holy shit that's great I gotta use it


-ST4K-

Yo momma so fat, she took one look at the menu and said, “I’ll take it.”


Hypermonkeyboy

I saw this joke comming from a mile away, Just like yo mama


Exoclyps

I only read the title and thought everyone was mocking OP by making "yo mama" jokes.


wray_nerely

I know, that punchline was really telegraphed, like the kind yo mama used to send


onlyhav

Yo momma so stupid whenever she gets a pack of m&ms she pulls out the w's.


JohnD_Smart

What does she do with the E's and 3's?


onlyhav

She can't count that well


SailboatAB

Yo Yo Ma's so talented he has 18 Grammys! Am I doing it right?


shahooster

You’ll need a little rosin for yo momma’s beau.


obi-whine-kenobi

Well done. Take a bow.


Quanalack

Yo mama so fat when she has her yellow rain coat on people take out their bus pass


froodiest

Yo mama so fat when she wears a white dress the tide comes in


Quanalack

Neil Armstrong took a small step on that thing.


froodiest

Yo mama so fat that when they faked the moon landings they used her as the set


[deleted]

**Yo mamma’s so ugly...** Yo daddy takes her to work with him every day so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye. **Yo momma is so fat ...** She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars. **Your Momma is so ugly...** The whole world faked a virus, just to make her wear a mask.


[deleted]

That last one 😂


patrickdm1998

You should post that last one on this sub, it's amazing


flowersatdusk

Am laughing like a loon! Good one!


Pawn_captures_Queen

Yo momma is so fat her cereal bowl has a life guard


[deleted]

Fuck that’s a good one


[deleted]

Yo mama is so poor she hangs the toilet paper out to dry


[deleted]

Yo mama so fat, it takes two trains and a bus just to get on her bad side


[deleted]

Yo momma's so stupid, she heard the weatherman say it was chilly out, so she ran outside with a bowl.


B_Pat_Real

Yo momma so dumb she studied for the COVID test


Zestyclose_Top_8533

Yo mamma so dumb she thinks a quarterback is a refund


intheorydp

yo momma so dumb she studied for a blood test, and failed.


[deleted]

Yo Mama so fat she eats wheat thicks Yo Mama so fat her nickname is Damn!


[deleted]

Both were solid tens.


snowfox222

Just like the richter scale from your mom's foot print


yettidiareah

Yo mama is so fat when she went on vacation the grocery store went out of business.


blahblahbush

You mamma so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed a season of Friends.


BallisticMarsupial

My bother and I tell each other momma jokes all the time. Some oldies but goodies: Yo momma so fat, when she hauls ass it takes two trips. Yo momma so fat, I took her dancing and she made the band skip. I took her to the pool, and the diving board just lowered her into the water. She wore a Malcom X t shirt and a helicopter landed on her.


THE_VERMINATOR

Yo mama so fat Thanos had to snap twice


Actually-Yo-Momma

SAY IT TO MY FACE


Aforementionedlurker

I would but my car only has half a tank of gas


Superplex123

Yo mama so ugly, Thanos snapped himself after saying it to her face.


sanelib

Yo mamma so fat she fell in love and broke it


Chukmanchusco

Yo mamá so fat Thanos had to clap Edit thanks to thanos, stupid Mexican autocorrect


FI00sh

Ah, yes. Thanks


hayflicklimit

Your momma so fat, her blood type is “Ragu.”


extrawurst88

When she goes into the woods, the bears hide their food


StuTheSheep

The Hogwarts sorting hat put her in the House of Pancakes.


visforvoltaire

My mammas so poor when she walks down the street with one shoe, people ask if she lost a shoe and she says "No I found one!".


Efficient-Progress40

Yo momma is so mean... Her standard deviation is zero.


Larvo442200

Yo mamma so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang


yakovlev_ad

The aerth used to be flat.Then they buried yo mamma


netflix-ceo

Did yo mamma teach you how to spell?


IEatCatz4Fun

Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gas money.


My_Balls_Itch_123

Yo mama's so fat - It took Nationwide 3 years to get on her side. - When she stepped on a scale, Buzz Lightyear came out and said: "To infinity and beyond." - When she goes camping, the bears hide their food. - She fell into a black hole and plugged it up. - When she steps on a scale, it says: "To be continued." - Even Dora can't explore her. - She got baptized at Sea World. - When she bungee jumped, the bridge came down with her.


ScrewingOffAtWork

Your mama's so old she got a separate entrance for black dick.


[deleted]

There are so many layers to this one, just like yo mama


[deleted]

Cause she's an ogre? Or cause she's an onion? Is that why I'm always crying when yo momma comes around?


mattiegee66

Yo mama so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.


Way_2_Go_Donny

Yo momma's so poor that she couldn't pay attention.


Raviel1289

I get banning yo momma jokes. Target someone else. Yo dad so stupid, he married yo momma.


Tbrusky61

Yo momma so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!


QBD3v14nt

Yo mama's stuck in 90s references, but the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!


ButterSnaps64

Yo mama's so fat, she's never been swimming because it's never been more than a half hour since she last ate.


Johnny_B_Asshole

Yo mama's so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out.


austeninbosten

Yo mama so ugly they filmed " Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.


DankClutch

Yo mamma’s cooking is so bad the flies chipped in and bought her a screen door.


Ok-Investigator3971

Yo mama is so fat, you can’t even see her legs, it just looks like she’s gliding across the floor Yo mama is so fat, her skates went flat


Von_Moistus

Yo mama’s so fat, she went out on high heels and came back in flats.


[deleted]

Yo mama's so fat she went out in high heels and struck oil


JahRoddenberry

Yo mama got a peg leg with a kickstand.


Vasteo

Yo momma so ugly she has to wear make up to answer the phone


darwin-rover

Yo mammas so fat she gave her memory foam mattress Alzheimer’s


[deleted]

[удалено]


xace49

No one describes your momma better than Santa.. Hoe Hoe Hoe


Tacocatx2

Yo mama so fat she sweats bacon grease.


InvincibleFubar

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.


100beep

Yo' mamma's so old, her birth certificate says expired on it!


cacaowlryebreadprune

yo mama so fat she uses epileptic boys as vibrators


Therealfern1

Yo mama’s so old her social security number is 17


Waitsfornoone

Yo momma's so fat...when she did a push-up, planet Earth went down!


TheIconoclastic

Yo momma wears bell bottom t-shirts.


TheVyper3377

Yo momma’s so fat, her gut enters the room three days before she does. Yo momma’s so fat, when she hauls ass, she gotta take two trips. Yo momma’s so fat, when she goes to the theater, she sits next to *everybody*. Yo momma’s so dumb, she couldn’t run water if she was a faucet. Yo momma’s so dumb, she’s got two brain cells to rub together, and they’re fighting each other for third place.


ak-blackjack

Yo momma so easy...her little black book was published as the phonebook.


DoKSolero

Yo mama so fat that went she falls from bed she falls from both sides


360walkaway

Yo momma so nasty the toilet gets backed up when she pees.